who would fall in love with me

oilan  asked:

Enjolras 11, 14, 15? :D

11. Wardrobe: 

I think at first he wears a lot of neutral kind of colors: navy, black, gray, but he always dresses nicely (though the odds of his cravat coming untied are high) and his clothes are probably well tailored. But because I am one of those people who can’t let go of the musical red symbolism, I DO tend to imagine him wearing little bits of red when his friends start giving him things. Courfeyrac starts off by giving him a red cravat, Enjolras decides he likes it, and soon it becomes one of his favorite things. Then Courfeyrac (or Bahorel) gives him a red coat, and so Enjolras falls in love with that, too. The red thing for me is suggested to him by his friends who think it suits him, until he stars liking it himself. But whatever red he wears would be the only flashy thing, the rest would be neutral. 

14. Dancing: 

I think he’d be pretty light on his feet! He’s not Courfeyrac, who is the Most Suave dancer (along with Bahorel and Joly, probably) but he can waltz pretty well. 

15. Singing: 

I think Enjolras probably has a nice voice? Not like, opera singer quality, but I take that “voice that sounded like a hymn” idea to another level. I think he’d have a really nice, soothing tenor and sometimes like to imagine him kind of softly singing to an ill friend? Like, if they were really ill, and no one else was around. 

I think about how beautiful would it be to have someone who couldn’t keep their hands off of me, in a loving and romantic type of way.

Rub my back, my legs, caress my arms, run your fingers through my hair, glide you fingers across my cheek and my neck.

Hold me until I fall asleep.

anonymous asked:

Erin I honestly really want to become friends with you. For one I don't have any friends that even know who bts are. Two you seem like such a beautiful person. Three I feel like there would be complications because I don't know if you dm people on tumblr. Then if we did become friends I would never want the friend ship to fall through. But man I really want to be friends with you. 😕💛

AWW ANON!! FEEL FREE TO HIT ME UP!! you sound so sweet and kind, i’d love to be friends with you! trust me, we probably wouldn’t have a fall out bc you’ll either get bored of me right off the bat or bc we are meant to be the greatest of friends!! you can create a tumblr account and private message me for starters c: 

Whenever I watch a couple falling in love I always look how the man acts. I mean he looks at her like she is the most precious person to him. And is so sweet and supercute. It’s like nothing else matters to him but only to see her happy. I’m melting when I see men act like this.

3

Summary:

Peter gets bullied in school and they all say that he could never get a girlfriend, so Y/N who’s rather popular at school just kisses him in front of every one.

Words: ~ 1500

No spoilers!

A/N: This took me way too long to write… so sorry! Tell me what you think! :)

×××

Walking through the overcrowded hallway, I felt myself being to tired to move and bumped against several people. Not that I cared.

Normally I didn’t care about much going on in school, referring to the people. I did care about my grades and my career and all- but the people in school? I didn’t care at all about them apart from my friends.

It’s not that I didn’t like them. I mean, I was quite popular in school and I talked to a lot of students over the day. But honestly, I didn’t really listen when they told me about the last party or a concert they went to.

But there was one person that I cared about who wasn’t part of my friends even though I hoped I would have more contact with him. Body contact, too.

It was Peter Parker, the nobody of our school. No one seemed to notice him apart from me. His gorgeous face with the sweet hazel eyes and the fluffy auburn hair…
Yes, he was my secret crush that nobody knew about and nobody ever would.

I kept my little secret a long time, talking to him occasionally or having school projects together which lead to me falling in love with him.

He was so clever and his shy side was so cute that I just couldn’t handle it. I loved how kind he was and he always had something interesting to ramble about.

Nothing caught my attention while walking through the hall way, apart from him. I saw him standing at his locker, opening it to put a book inside. Me and my friends stopped at my best friend’s locker and I occasionally let my gaze slip to Peter for a few seconds.

I jumped when Flash and his friends appeared out of nowhere and pushed Peter against his locker after he had closed it. “What a looser you are!”, Flash exclaimed after Peter groaned loadly, getting everyone’s attention.

“Sorry to ruin your face but with these looks you won’t get a girlfriend, anyway.”, Flash claimed and his friends laughed at this comment before he pushed Peter again.
And Peter only stood there, head down, shoulders stiff while Flash threw several mean words at him.

But when Flash grabbed Peter’s backpack from his hands Peter looked up, his face filled with anger as Flash started throwing all of his stuff on the ground.
“Oh, what’s this?”, Flash exclaimed when he took a piece of paper from the ground. “DEAR Y/N, I wish i had the courage to tell you that I’d walk through fire just to see you smile…”, he started to read and I saw everyone’s eyes stare at me, making my face heat up.

I unconsciously made eye contact with Peter who seemed to be internally screaming. And while I was glued to the spot, not able to speak or think, Flash continued bullying him.

“But you do know”, he laughed, “You do know that someone like Y/N Y/L/N would never love you, right?” Oh, boy, how wrong you were…
I saw Peter’s head lowering again, his fingers brushing over his face before they ran through his hair.
Flash laughed triumphantly and suddenly I felt the strong urge to prove a point.

Someone like Y/N Y/L/N would definitely love Peter Parker.

My legs brought myself over to them, even though my friend’s arm grabbed me slightly. But I ignored it and shoved Flash ’s friends aside so that I could get to Peter.

“Peter, you told me you wouldn’t drag this old thing with you.”, I laughed, rolling my eyes and earning a very confused and very cute look from Peter.
“See? I told you that someone would think that you’re single.”

In the corner of my eye I saw Flash looking at me as confused as Peter and I smiled to myself.
And then I laid my hands on his shoulders and leaned in quickly, pressing my lips on his.

Ignoring the electricity coming from him and the urge to kiss him forever, I pulled back after a few seconds of giving in.

Peter’s face stated pure shock and he stared at me nervously before I smirked at him. “Bye, Peter, see you later.”, I smiled proudly, wandering off to my next class and ignoring everyone’s dazzled looks.

I let out a shaky breath I didn’t know I was holding. This had been life changing.

“Wait, Y/N, what the hell was that?”, my friend wanted to know, a strange look on her face.
“Spontaneous.”, I only answered, shrugging. “Yeah, I know. But what were you thinking?”, she asked and now there was a worried look that made me angry somehow. It seemed like she thinks something is wrong with me just because I kissed my crush. Okay, secrete crush. She couldn’t know this part.

“Nothing really. I just thought that Flash is a dick and Peter doesn’t deserve this.”, I simply said and only got a confused “Okay…” as an answer.

Later that day I sat down at a bench outside, my eyes roaming over the campus. I enjoyed being alone at lunch. Not because of my friends! I simply enjoyed the time to think without talking slash gossiping.

I thought about the kiss, obviously.

Was it right? Apart from the fact that probably the whole school knew it by now, Peter knew too.

But still, I was proud of myself: Helping someone by proving his bully wrong. Somehow it made me feel strong.

And there was another positive aspect, as well. I had kissed my crush Peter Parker!

Thinking of the devil… Peter suddenly stood next to me, a nervous grin on his face.
“Can… uh… Can I join you?”, he chuckled, nodding his head towards the empty seat in front of me. “Sure.”, I nodded, a smile on my face which was maybe a bit too wide.

He let out a relieved sigh as he sat down, letting his bag fall on to the ground.
“Rough day?”, I asked and he only nodded before he leaned forward slightly, his arms supporting his weight.

“Uhm, yeah.”, he replied before biting his lip, my eyes not being able to look at something else but him.
“Actually, it wasn’t that bad.”, he chuckled softly, his brown eyes meeting mine.

“Yeah?”, I grinned and he just nodded with a cute smile on his lips. Oh, how soft those lips had felt on mine…

A few moments of comfortable silence passed before my mind brought back the letter that Flash found in Peter’s backpack.
“Uhm, Peter…”, I started but paused briefly when his beautiful eyes stared at me, “I was wondering… I mean… would you… Would you really walk through fire to see me smile?”
He nodded instantly without a word, nervously fiddling with his fingers before my hands grabbed his. I couldn’t help but smile, my heart beat running in my chest.
“You know, you don’t need to do this. I start smiling as soon as you smile at me.”, I clarified, earning a grin from him and I returned it instinctively.

“Uh, I… um, I wanted to thank you for… you know.”, he began and I only shrugged, playing it cool,“No problem.”
“But the whole school thinks were a couple now.”
“Is that bad?”, I wanted to know, a flirty tone in my voice.

Peter shook his head, causing his brown strands to dance on his fore head. “No, it’s not bad at all.” He clearly gained some confidence when I grinned at his answer. “I liked kissing you.”, he confessed, tilting his head. “No, that’s an understatement. I loved kissing you.”

“That’s good.”, I laughed before grabbed the collar of his shirt and nearly pulled him over the table to feel his soft lips on mine again.

He was able to place his fore arms on the table to support his weight before our eyes closed and our lips met. He hummed softly when I started moving my lips and my grib on his collar loosened since I had him where I wanted. My cheeks blushed due to all to blood that my heart pumped through my veins and I felt the excitement rushing through my whole body.
My fingers wandered up to the back of his neck, playing with some of his strands after Peter tilted his head to deepen the kiss, causing my mind to go mushy.

He pulled himself back slightly, a huge grin on his face when I ran my fingers through his hair. “You like me.”, he breathed out and I nodded before I pecked his lips briefly.

He leaned back again, giving me a charming smile. I had to bite my lip to hid that huge smile on my face which Peter saw anyway and I felt my heart skipping a beat.

This one question wether I wanted to be Peter’s girlfriend was definitely in his head but there was no need to voice it.

He knew that I was in love with him.

Sleepovers and Confessions (Peter Parker x reader)

Originally posted by sexy-stan

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: You come over for a fun night with your best friend Peter. Only to end up spilling all the details on your crush on Peter to Aunt May, and maybe even Peter.

Warning: slight language

Requested: @summersimpkins-blog

Hope you enjoy this!! It was what you requested but I got a little writer happy with this haha, hope you still like it! Send me requests, I’ll write about your fav marvel character, etc.:)

_______________________________________________________________

“Shhh, May! Keep your voice down!” You quickly brought your forefinger up to your pursed lips, eyes wide as you sat down next to Aunt May.

She smiled widely at your sudden confession, excitement poured from her she began to squeal, almost jumping up and down, “Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I’m just- it’s just so exciting!” she belted out, both of her arms outstretched in your direction, signalling a hug. Leaning into her small frame, you squeezed her tightly. Letting go of one another, you smiled widely at her once again in a span of thirty seconds, nervousness and the pace of your heart rate caused the giddiness in your entire body.

You sighed tucking back a piece of hair behind your ear, “I just don’t know what to do. We’re just such good friends, best friends, you know that-” you interjected a different thought into the subject, looking to face her. She rapidly shook her head in an understanding manner, stopping to let you finish.

“It’s just, we’ve been friends for close to eight years. I just don’t want to ruin anything. And don’t even get me started on the whole Liz situation. That’s why I’ve been so distant from him these past few weeks,” you heavily exhaled, defeat instantly creeping up on you as the name Liz rolled off your tongue. It just put a bad taste in your mouth.

May smiled weakly at you, with a slight spark in her eyes, which you couldn’t help but find curious, “Y/N, don’t worry about Liz right now! You’ve known me and Peter basically your entire life. Trust me, I think once you tell him, he’ll feel-”

“How will who feel?”

Your mouth instantly intakes a sharp breath at the sweet sound of Peter’s voice, interrupting your entire conversation about… well, him. May’s eyes widen at the new position of her nephew, from the bathroom to the living room, which was quite inconvenient at this moment in time.

“Oh!” May interjects. You can instinctively realize she’s analyzing a plan in her mind, “Me and Y/N were just talking about… how my boss will feel if I’m late again for the night shift!” she says with a tense voice. You looked at her with thankful eyes, blessing her for saving your ass in yet another tight situation with Peter.

Peter looked skeptical at her sudden tactic. His bright brown eyes narrowed in both of you directions, eyebrows playfully scrunching, “Ohh-kay?” he questioned slightly. You looked over at him, a weak, but hopefully believable smile painted across your lips as May got up to leave for her ‘night shift’.  She said her goodbyes to both of you, winking at you before exiting the apartment.

Peter watched her leave, waving to her sweetly before turning towards you, his pink lips curled into a bright smile, eyebrows raised, “You ready to watch Return of the Jedi?”

You smiled at his excitement, the butterflies beginning to erupt in the pit of your stomach at his smile, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

__

Halfway through the movie, you began to notice you couldn’t keep your eyes on the film. Your Y/E/C eyes slowly began to daze over to Peter sitting next to you. His soft, lightly curled brown hair was left loose today, going perfectly with his blue sweater and matching new balances. Your gaze flew up to his narrowed, sparkling brown eyes paired with furrowed eyebrows, focused intently on the movie.

God, those eyes make you go insane. And those thin pink lips you yearned to forever be placed on yours. Why couldn’t you just admit to him how you’ve felt for him all these years. Why couldn’t you just say, “Peter, I-”

“Y/N?”

The soft voice snapped you out of your deep thoughts, “Yeah?” you questioned, breath heavy as your head whipped in the direction towards him.

His eyes scanned your face completely, wondering if you were okay, due to the fact you had been in outer space, dreaming of him for a very long time, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine Peter. I’m just tired-”

“Cut the crap Y/N.”

Your heart instantly picked up at the new and unfamiliar sound of his voice. Your eyebrows scrunched together, your eyes wide yet peeled in his direction, curiosity running through your veins. He never sounded like that. He sounded almost, hurt? Guilty? You couldn’t quite detect it, “What are you talking about?”

He scooted closer to you, putting one arms behind the back of the couch and one by his side, mere inches from yours. You snapped your head down to your close proximity. Sure, you’ve sat much closer than this before, but right now, it felt strange. Almost as if you were unsure of what to say to him.

“The past couple of weeks you’ve been acting weird. Last week, I was walking with Liz to Calculus and I saw you, but you sprinted off! At lunch two days ago, you and Ned were sitting at the lunch spot and once you saw Liz and I make our way over, you muttered something to Ned before you got up and ran off! Oh, and yesterday Liz walked with me to-”

“That’s the problem, Peter! Don’t you see the recurring issue in every one of your stories!” you cut him off, hopping off the couch in a rush, standing right in front of Peter. Your mind instantly seem to forget how to choose the correct words to say to Peter in this type of situation. It was as if you didn’t know how to hide your feelings anymore. Your mind clouded, not anywhere near stopping.

Your hand flung out by your side, signaling to the outside world before belting out another stupid confession, someone careless seeming to take over, “You were with Liz! You were with her and not me!”

Peter slouched slightly, his eyes beginning to widen at every growing word that rolled off your lips, mouth barely ajar as he seemed to be aware of where this situation was going.

You continued, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as your stomach did somersaults, and your heart ready to explode, “Don’t you see! You pine after girls like Liz for fucks sake! That’s why I’ve been so distant lately! Me knowing and witnessing  you falling in love with someone like her made me realize I would never have a chance with you, Peter,” your throat closing up at the sudden confession, you eyes widening as he stared intently into your eyes, slowly rising from the couch, stepping right in front of you. His couple steps felt like miles as he made his way towards your downcast figure. Once he approached you, you could lightly feel his breath hitting your nose.

This was it. He was about to tell you the truth, and it wasn’t going to be good. Who would’ve thought a simple sleepover would’ve turned into this?

You could feel the atmosphere in the room quiet and thicken, your eyes still staring deeply into Peter’s. Your eyes glossed over with guilt and disappointment. While his portrayed sneakiness and adventure. It felt like years for either of you to have the courage to speak up and say anything involving the matter. You took matters into your own hands.

“You know what, I took this way too far. I-I’m sorry, I’ll just leave and we can forget all about-” except you were cut off by Peter’s calloused palms quickly yet gently grab your face and bring your lips up to his softly. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you couldn’t of cared less. Your mind once again clouded with nothing but thoughts of Peter. You kissed back, gently pressing your lips back against his, hands wrapping around his neck, to rest in that soft brown hair you yearned to tug on for years.

He pulled away, his lips lingering on yours for a few seconds before slowly opening his eyes to meet yours in a loved daze, “Liz means nothing. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes lifted with happiness at his words, heart prepared to explode with happiness and love, pulling him against your slightly shorter frame. His arms instantly wrapped themselves around your waist, causing an ignited feeling you’ve never felt before.

“I knew May was lying,” he said slyly, hugging you tighter as his words echoed in your ear.

You smiled to yourself, rolling your eyes at his cockiness, snuggling into his warm embrace, “Of course.”

2

Hello I’m back with a real artwork! With real artwork I just mean something I actually took my sweet time with finishing it _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

I’m currently reading “H&H Roman Company” by Mum and GOSH I’M IN LOVE WITH IT (that I had to do an actual fanart for it-)

I also made a SPEEDPAINT, please take a look if you have time~ (It’s also my first speedpaint ever!!)

Ps: I LOVE RUM SO MUCH O H GOD I LOVE RUM SO MuCH plzlookatthebrownhairedguyinthebottomleft ////

Older brother Namjoon+ rest of BTS scolds you PT.10

BTS x Reader

Genre: Angst

Namjoon’s Sister AU

[PT.1] [PT.2] [PT.3][PT.4] [PT.5] [PT.6] [PT.7] [PT.8] [PT.9] [PT.10] [PT.11] [PT.12] [PT.13]


Originally posted by pjkook


Y/N’s p.o.v

“Joonie?” I say completely confused, what was he even doing here?

“Oh uh hi baby sis, you’re up?” 

“Well yeah you were crashing and banging, I’m pretty sure it could have woken up the entire building.” I say quite frankly. “What are you doing here?” I wasn’t completely mad that he was standing in my kitchen, hammering at my counter top. But at the same time I feel sort of resentful. 

“I was waiting for you outside of your door -”

“Yeah I saw you, but what are you doing in here?” 

“You fainted, I had to bring you inside.” He explained. 

“But why do you care?” I was bitter and I knew that but I couldn’t help myself, because what they said, tore me up inside. 

“Come on small, don’t be like that.” Small, he used to call me that all the time. 

“Don’t be like what? How else do you want me to act? What more do you want to control?” I started to raise my voice. It was always ‘don’t do this’ ‘don’t do that’. 

“I know it was wrong of me and I’m sorry, can’t you just accept my apology and move on?” He was raising his voice at me now too. A few years ago, he would cherish me, made sure nobody hurt me and would never raise his voice at me. But now all he has done is hurt me. 

“How am I supposed to just accept your apology and move on oppa? When you’ve always been someone that I looked up to, you were always the one who taught me well, but you neglected me. You used to protect me, but now? You’re the one who hurt me the most.” I was on the verge of tears, it’s been so long that it’s just the two of us talking, just brother and sister time. When I used to have nightmares as a kid, Namjoon would be the one to read me a story whilst crouching by the side of my bed and made sure I fell asleep okay. But right now, he was my biggest nightmare. “You used to care about me so much, what happened?” My voice lowered and tears fell, quickly wiping them away I looked up at him.”You used to be my saviour oppa, but now it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“I still love and care about you Y/N, why are you being so difficult? I’m trying to make amends but you’re acting so childish!” He raised his voice and I couldn’t help but flinch. I can’t lie and say that it didn’t scare me when he was like this, because he was rarely ever like this. My head was spinning and I felt like complete shit, but what does that matter right?

“I’m being childish? My older brother and his best friends, including my very own best friend, spoke badly of me behind my back. The same older brother who just 4 years ago would not let anyone say a single bad thing about me, not even mum and dad. You’d always hide me behind your back when I was in trouble. You’d tell the kids who were mean to me off. You did so much for me back then. Maybe I’m just expecting too much, maybe I grew up relying on you too much. Or maybe you just don’t love your lil small anymore, because I’m useless and only ever cause you trouble.” I was trying so hard to remain calm, so hard to not allow my tears to fall but it was working. They just kept falling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass to you. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m sorry I’m not the same small you used to love and care about.” I swallowed back my flowing tears and smiled slightly up towards him. “I won’t cause you anymore trouble, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll stay away so you don’t have to see me anymore. I’m sorry for being dramatic. I really am. So, oppa. Could you please leave?” 

“This is a little too much don’t you think? Over something so little?” I chuckled, is that really what he thought?

“It may have been little to you because you don’t look up and respect me like I do, you. Ever since I could walk and talk, I’ve learned so much from you, you were that older brother to me that became my shield. The older brother that I had endless respect for. So to me it’s like my whole world was crashing down on me. You had know idea that the last four years have been hell, you wouldn’t know because you never really asked how I was. But I get that, you’re busy. I understood. But when I needed you the most and told you some things, you don’t even remember and you always pushed me aside telling me that you’d ‘message me later’ because you’re occupied doing something. But no matter how long I waited for my older brother to get back to me, he never did. I was always the one starting up a conversation. Because I missed my big bro, but he didn’t miss me. I felt as though I was just a complete burden so I stopped. Life got harder, but it’s okay now. I’m a big girl and I can handle it.” I smiled one last time at him. “Because I don’t need you anymore.” 


PT.11?

Hers

And there he stands in all his glory, laughing at something Chris Nolan said to him, a glass of whisky in his hand and his arm around her waist. And all I could do was stand here, from afar, watching them.

“He’ll notice if you keep staring, darling.” Anne handed me a glass of champagne.

“I-I-I was not staring. Just looking how wonderful they are together.” I could feel my face turn red by the second.

“Oh, darling, don’t try to fool yourself, I know you have feelings for him.” She smiled lightly at me. “Actually, I always thought you’re going to be together.”

My smile faltered and I looked at the floor. Silly Y/N, of course Anne knew. Apparently, everybody did! The boys, Gemma, Lou and now Anne. Clearly, I am not very good in hiding my feelings for my best friend. The guy who knows me better than anyone and yet can’t realize how much I adore him.

Harry and I have been friends since we were kids, really. Eventually we went separate ways: He went out to become the biggest celebrity out there and I went to college. Even though we lived in different worlds, we never stopped talking. We’re still best friends even after all this time.

I love him.

But it wasn’t always like this. When we’re younger, our parents used to tell us we would eventually get married. We’re too perfect for each other, that’s something we always knew, even though we didn’t have this types of feeling for each other.

It was in my senior year of college that this said feelings started to show. I spent a few weeks with him and the boys while they’re on tour and suddenly I started to fall for my best friend. If you have seen any movie out there, you would think that the feeling was mutual and we’re happily ever after. Not how things turned out, I’m afraid to tell you. I spent 6 weeks trying to find a way to tell him my feelings, even asked for the boys’ help, but when I was close to figure a way out, he met her. And gosh, how much he adored her. Since the beginning!

You know that stupid line that said when you love someone, you gotta let them go and find their happiness? His happiness was she and I couldn’t stand in the way of that. Even though I knew I loved him more than she could ever love him, it was time for me to set him free.

So I came back. Came to the UK, finished college and found a job I actually like. My life is all put together, as Harry likes to remind me. He’s right, my life is put together, except for my love life. I tried so hard to get over him, to not have feelings for him. I dated, I tried everything I could, but he was always there, in the back of my mind, even when I met my ex-boyfriend, Daniel. We broke up a few months later because he knew I had feelings for my best friend. Poor Dan, such a nice guy and I couldn’t love him.

Harry came back home. And moved in with her, much to my dismay. They’re together for 3 years now and they don’t seem to be breaking up anytime soon. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about telling him, just to get it out of my chest, but I can’t. I cannot ruin this for him. I would rather suffer in silence than ruin his happiness and our friendship.

“Have you thought about telling him?” She asked me while we watched the couple from afar.

“I did.” I whispered. “I just can’t. He’s happy, Anne. He deserves to be happy.”

“My son is a fool, darling. He doesn’t know, but he does have feelings for you. A mother always know and I’m telling you he does. But I understand your side, I just don’t wanna see you both losing time with other people when you could be together!”

I breathed a laugh. Anne was always our biggest supporter, so it’s not a shock to me she would rather me with her son than his actual girlfriend. The poor girl is not a bad girl; she’s just not right for him.

She doesn’t get it how he can be such a morning person, always waking up at a 100%, telling everyone ‘good morning’ in his raspy voice. She thinks its annoying, but the truth is if he doesn’t do this, we’ll go back to sleep and miss his whole day. She doesn’t get his obsession for good health, but if she just asked him about it, she would understand he actually believes that those junk foods can kill you slowly, and he can’t lose anyone in his life, so we all have to eat health food. At least around him. She doesn’t understand how he can feel so down after reading mean comments on the internet, because for her how could The Harry Styles feel anything less than perfect?! He thinks he’s not worth it, even though he truly does deserve everything good that ever happened to him. However, he has insecurities, because by the end of the day, he is just Harry. And all he really wants is cuddles and a few reassurance words that those people are just mean people and are not telling the truth.

She doesn’t know him and a part of me thinks she just doesn’t want to. Yes, she knows what he likes for breakfast, what calms him when his in a bad mood, but she doesn’t know the little things I do.

It’s sad, if you think about it. He’s been with her for 3 years and she doesn’t get him. Maybe that’s why when he needs someone, he runs to me. He runs to my house at 3 A.M just so he could talk about his bad day. She never saw him cry, because he only cries when we’re alone and he can truly show his feelings. I’m the first person he calls when something good or bad happens. I’m his emergence contact in the hospital, I’m his safe place to go when he needs to just take a break. I’m the one who could leave her whole life on hold, just to take care of him when needed.

It’s sad because even thought I am his person, I’m not his and he’s not mine. She has him and I can’t truly express how much I wish that could be me.

“He looks nervous.” I pointed out to Anne.

“I was about to ask you this… Do you know why? He’s been like this for a few weeks now.” She looked deep in thought, trying to find a reason for her son odd behavior.

“I think…” I was interrupted by Louis, who looked out of breath.

“You need to stop him, he will make a terrible mistake, please Y/N, stop him!”

“Louis, what’s going on? What are you talking about? Breathe, Lou.”

“You don’t get it, he’ll…”

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” Harry called out from the center of the room. The party quickly died down, waiting for his speech. “I would like to thank you all for coming to my Dunkirk party. It’s so nice to enjoy the movie’s success with all of you, so thank you!”

Everyone around the room clapped and Louis was fussing by side. He looks nervous and I couldn’t understand why.

“As you know this is a special night for me and I wanted to be even more special. Lexa, can you come here, darling?” He asked his girlfriend to join him and I could already feel the tension growing around me. Anne, Louis, Niall, Liam, Lou and Gemma surrounded me and we all were just waiting for something to happen. Anything.

“Lexa, we’ve been together for 3 years next week and I feel so blessed to have you by side. I was smitten with you since the moment I saw you, you can ask Y/N for confirmation.” Everybody laughed a little and I could feel a knot in my through already. “So, in this special date for me and surrounded by friends and family, I would like to ask you…” he got down on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

And just like that my world stopped. I couldn’t hear anything, but I could see her nod and everyone clap for them. I think the boys were talking to me, but I could barely understand what was happening.

He proposed to her.

He is hers.

She is his.

And just like that I realized that all these years loving him, taking care of him, weren’t enough to make him fall for me. I was a silly girl who believed in the fairy tale that everyone thought we would live. I loved him with everything in me, I was always his but he was never mine.

And just like that I ran out of the party, leaving everyone – including the love of my life – behind.

I was always his.

He was never mine.

He was always hers.

*** 

It’s been a while, I know, but I hope you’ve liked this. Please, leave me your thoughts about this oneshot, talk to me pleeease. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language!

All the love, B. 

MASTERLIST

Mottled Roses

Mottled Roses | Dan lives in a world where, when someone starts losing friendship, interest, or love for you, a rose magically appears on your bedside table, and you have one last chance to try and fix things before the last petal falls. His best friend Phil promised that Dan would never receive a rose from Phil, but one morning… Dan does. | Phan | Teen and Up | Happy Ending | 3,989 words

Thanks to @botanistlester who let me have the prompt someone gave her. I ended up doing this in a big of a different style than I normally would, but I hope you guys still like it :))

(Ao3) (Prompt)

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my life is 1000% better when I’m listening to carly rae jepsen

Glimpse the Unthinkable

———————————–

After the Slipstream’s teleportation matrix malfunctioned, the fighter jet vanished along with its test pilot, Lena Oxton - call sign: Tracer.

During her disappearance, Tracer was stuck traveling through various world lines: one where she didn’t join Overwatch, one where she didn’t enlist in the RAF, and even one world line where she lead a completely peaceful and quiet life away from all of the fighting.

But the world line that left a deep scar in her mind was one that would forever haunt her - Tracer saw herself working alongside Talon. And in this world line, Talon’s Tracer was one of the most ruthless and highly-skilled assassins. She had killed a number of members from Overwatch, and had managed to assassinate some of their top agents. Visions of loved ones of those she killed were etched in her mind. It was more than she could bear.

When Overwatch finally managed to recover Tracer, she decided to keep her visions to herself and vowed to never fall from the hero’s path in order to prevent the unthinkable from happening.

———————————–

(First person who can tell me where I got the title from gets a drink on me.

…I’m kidding…but you will forever be among the coolest of the cool in my book)

She dies a little when he says sorry. So that’s it? Another apology? Is that all you’ve got for me today? He doesn’t know any better, the sinner will melt his skin into your bones if he could. There is lava everywhere and we can’t share a day without finding flaws to make us jump. There is enough distance between us to make the sun and the moon seem like two love birds who should’ve pushed a little harder to show up all at once. And while we’re on the topic of day and night, you’re on my mind daily and you’re the reason why it’s hard to sleep. I keep telling myself that there’s enough hope out there to save myself from who I used to be. I keep waking up with a belly filled with regrets and maybe that’s why I skip breakfast and lunch. I have a basket of poetry for dinner and it’s the only thing that ever fills me up. The weight of my soul doesn’t match up with the weight of my body, I guess I don’t eat enough. I do eat enough apologies though. Another I’m sorry and I’ll be full again. Some would say I’m full of shit. What’s a writer to a poet? Just someone who’s better at bullshitting. Maybe I’m kidding myself and there’s just a whole other world behind these doors that I’ve nailed shut. Behind the blinds before the sun comes in, behind my lies before the truth sinks in like black coffee that wasn’t brewed right, so we’ve been spilling the beans and claiming that ink is all we know. Some say that eyes are the windows of the soul, I have eyes dipped into ink and written into oak, which parts that I’ve shown, which hidden parts speak out the most? Those are the bits of who I am that I love to death. I want a lover that knows my words inside and out before I even have a thought. I want a lover that knows the size of the ocean and claims that it is intense enough to cut deep space open with nothing more than another I’m sorry. I want a lover that would tell me there’s no need to feel sorry for how you can’t be, rather… you should feel sorry for who you couldn’t be when you needed to be that person. Baby, mistakes come in three. For every broken heart, you’ve got to write. For the company that misery demands, you must love yourself. Wake up and eat your breakfast, smile a little today. Everything’s going to be okay. And no, we don’t have to fall in love. I don’t have to be your lover to be your lover. We don’t need anything to our names. We don’t need the stars. We don’t need the poems. We don’t even need the feeling of home because as long as you’re trying, I think that speaks enough for the sun to rise and for the moon to be full. They say that we should stick to the familiar, if you take a risk and fail then you’ll just end up miserable again. But what about the what if? What if we risk it all and get away with it? What if we make it through all of this without even a small scratch? There is hope where you see pain. Where one sees ugliness, another sees beauty. Where you’ve been blind, I can show you the way. Where you’ve been mute, I can speak you into my truths. Where you’ve been deaf, I can feel the vibrations. Where you lost yourself, that is exactly where I’ve found you. Alone, alone, alone. Lonely, lonely, lonely. Wouldn’t you know? The prettiest stars usually end up clustered. A universe within a universe within a universe. I want to love you like that. He doesn’t bat an eye every time a tear falls through the fingers she loaned him to warm up his night. Another brush of his lips and there will be a smile waiting for him at the bottom of the glass, another piece of his heart and she will see that the world doesn’t only turn when you hear the words you want. how did we end up like this? an ocean of regrets trying to forgive where we became two hearts beating for three. that’s the thing about jealously though, we feed on sentences we believe should be for us and curse the light for showing up too soon. But, the sun dims when you enter the room, the clouds always seem to have something better to say when every pocket is full. I over think each minute until we are a hypothetical season trying to love through winter and wondering where summer goes when the hugs go silent. I think the thing that hurts the most is thinking about how much I don’t think about you anymore– every unanswered goodnight, each letter I saved to play for the stars to reflect on those lost, another day of finding footprints towards places I can’t hear your laughter. what do you call a dream that keeps on coming back? a love you can’t see, but still finds its way into the core of your veins? an equation that only feels complete when your memory meets me for coffee? a day that doesn’t end until I hear the dial-tone of a call that said they would never hang up? I thought I found a home in you, but we were both running from the people we didn’t want to see, avoiding situational errors caused by the same hands that promised to love the earth tenderly, the same harmonious effort to extract positivity from an open wound. we knew we were going to sink, we just wanted to test out the water. we knew the first i love you was going to hurt, I just wanted to see how many people I could leave behind until I lost myself. baby, home is a list of people that are never coming back. maybe I don’t want to be yours, maybe I don’t want to be mine, but someday has a lot of questions to answer for.
—  The Ate & The Bunso
NCT // Pick Up Lines

Taeil: I wanted to say something really sweet about you, but when I saw you I was speechless

Hansol: Do you think we would look good dancing together? I think we should find out.

Johnny: If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard

Taeyong: I’ll put a tear drop in the ocean. When it’s found, I’ll stop loving you.

Yuta: Do you like sleeping? Yeah, me too..we should do it together sometime

Kun: You’re heart stops every time you sneeze. Kinda like what happens to me each time I see you.

Doyoung: I value my breath so it would be nice if you didn’t take it away every time you walked by.

Ten: You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall…is in love with me

Jaehyun: If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would be holding a galaxy

Win win: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Them: Did you just call me Satan?
Win win: Wait- no I mean- oh my god that;s not at all what I meant- I just think you’re an angel and you’re really beautiful- and I’m walking away now

Mark: You know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms…..If that’s okay with you I mean if not that’s fine too, whatever you’re comfortable with

Renjun: Everything about you is perfect.. with the exception of one thing. You aren’t mine yet.

Jeno: It’s not my fault I fell in love with you, you’re the one who tripped me

Haechan: Did you fall from heaven? Maybe that’s why your face is messed up……….wait that didn’t sound right, I meant to say you were as beautiful as an angel but I think I ruined it please don’t hate me-

Jaemin: You must be a magician because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears

Chenle: There are a lot of fish in the sea, but I want you to know if I had to pick just one for my fish tank, it would be you 

Jisung: Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you 

different titles ➙ p.j.m ➙ one

pairing: Jimin x Reader

genre: angst | fluff | smut | au 

warnings: language

summary: who would’ve thought Park Jimin, one of the richest kids in the world, would fall in love with a homeless one?

one

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listen, everyone going on about how it’s unrealistic for steve trevor to fall in love with diana in a matter of days (or however long this movie lasted). 

well let me tell you, if i met a goddess who looked like her, who loved people so fiercely, wanted so desperately to see the good in the world and bring justice, and fight fights that seemed impossible, who was funny and kind and intelligent, who spoke multiple languages, and fought like a badass warrior – hell yeah, i’d be in love with her too. 

tbh, considering how much i want to cry over this movie, i already am, so you can go suck it. 

Why we enjoy Sarah J Maas’s books:

Alright! So I finally got through all of the survey responses. I got over 300! However, I did have to throw out over 50 as many people decided to check more than 5 for likes or dislikes. And I don’t think google forms lets you limit the number they can check? Anyways, it’s fine because I still have 254 usable responses and tons of lovely quotes/thoughts/rants from all of you!!

I’ll put the data charts up top and then the long answer responses below, divided into sections.

So clearly, we are overwhelmingly here for the female characters, the character growth, and the romance. But we also like the morally grey characters, the world building, and the representation of PTSD, abuse, and mental health issues. 

I’m sorry that is so tiny, but basically, we overwhelmingly dislike the lack of diversity in terms of PoC and LGBTQ character and we also have some issues with world building, magic, and seeing our favs do problematic things. 

Also 18 of your hate Celaena lol (I love her and I know that putting that answer in there as a selection was petty af but I cannot help myself. It was all for a good laugh)


Alright, so most of us feel negatively and positively about the fandom. But a solid chunk, 34%, feels positively most-all of the time. Which is great. We are doin okay friends. Only 5.5%, 14 people, felt like the fandom affected them only negatively. 

So we clearly are here for enjoyment and escapism. And pain. 

Also, I apologize for the wet dreams one but THIS FANDOM LOVES SMUT I HAD TO PUT IT ON THERE OKAY

So 70% of the ppl reading to enjoy things and find it easy to ignore the things we dislike. 


And the long answers:

Enjoyment:

Some of us really enjoy the way she writes characters—she really makes us really care with backstory and character development:

“When I finally decide to shut the book, it takes me a minute to forget that the characters aren’t real. I’ve fallen in love with almost every single one of her characters because they’re so authentic; they go through hardships, they love, they fall out of love, they get angry, they grieve deeply, but most importantly, they GROW. I’m so impressed with who Feyre and Aelin have come to be as women over the years. The familial love that bonds the characters together is also something that I really connect to. They really would do ANYTHING to protect each other.” anonymous

“She delivers types of characters and points of view that other YA writers haven’t done. She pulls of tropes without making them boring. She isn’t afraid of calling characters out for doing the wrong thing.”- @the-heir-of-terrasen

“I think SJM’s character development is her biggest strength. I haven’t connected to so many characters in a series since Harry Potter. She is good at showing rather than telling when it comes to several moments of key character building, especially for . That I am so emotionally invested in such a wide variety of characters across two series is a testament to her gift.” -anonymous

“Her use of description and narrative really is eye-opening to the world of the characters in the most subtle of ways. She knows how to wield a character’s experiences and history to cleave new paths in their personalities, and thus makes ever-changing, ever-growing characters that are so much more relatable than most other fantasy books. Not to mention that her villains are just as mysterious and wicked as her protagonists, making even the antagonists realistic to the point of you *screaming* at the book for whatever the character has done this time.“ - @cynical-minds-for-cynical-times

“The Connection to the characters. I don’t relate so much as I do just care very, very deeply about them. I LIKE them, even if they aren’t likable people?” @squaddreamcourt

We also really enjoy how morally complex the characters are:

“What I love about SJM is that she doesn’t make things prettier than they are. She has not created a perfect world, with those perfect good characters finding a perfect happy ending. Instead she created a world that has loads of problems we’re also facing in our world and she shows us how layered and well thought out characters are dealing with them. Her characters grow and the emotional impact of their deeds is not shrugged off. I love it how everything they do has consequences and how the heroes make mistakes and bad decisions and how the villains do good things sometimes. What I love is that it’s a fascinating world with fascinating characters that gives me an unique view on our world.” @acourtofhopeanddreams

“The characters are very well-rounded and dynamic. Almost every character has a motivation for what and why they’re doing what they’re doing, which is something some villains lack in other stories. You find yourself hating the characters, but still enjoying the parts that they’re in because they are so realistic in their mannerisms and motivations.” anonymous

Her books help us deal with personal issues, and we also seem to enjoy how relatable or realistic the personal relationships between the characters are:

“I feel like her books help me a lot, for one thing because they make me feel excited and enthusiastic about something which I think everyone needs more of in their life. I also love the platonic and romantic relationships between the characters because they educate me about abusive relationships, healthy relationships, and the complications of friendships etc. I love this because I feel like it helps me understand myself and the people around me better emotionally, and puts my own personal experiences with other people in perspective. I also find a lot of the things that go down between the characters help me feel more secure about my personal life, and they help me accept myself for feeling the way I do about certain things. Also, I love just love reading them because I find them really fun and enjoyable.“ - @ashryverblue

“I enjoyed the way she wove my favorite fairy tales together and wrote compelling romance. I also connected to the characters and appreciated how she prioritized female pleasure in sex.“ - @sarahviehmann

“The representation of mentally ill and abused characters and their arcs that deals with their past and their issues that isnt “love fixes everything” -anonymous

“also like how they don’t have the common ‘no body likes me because I’m ugly I’m so sad boo ho’ because I never really related to those characters. I want to read about someone who is confident in their body and with their skills, and not someone who is whiny and needs someone to hold their hand through everything.” @a-book-love

“Feyre’s struggle with abuse and PTSD in ACOMAF was relatable and her growth is inspiring. I love her relationship with Rhys and the understanding and respect they have for one another. I love Rhys and his Inner Circle - they’re funny, kind, intelligent, strong, witty etc. I like that Rhys, Mor, Az, and Cassian are abuse survivors - it gives me hope. I love how supportive they are of one another. Of course, I love the magic and world-building in the series but the characters and their relationships are what stand out to me the most in this series.” @pencilsfulloflead

And some of us are here for the drama (myself included):

“Honestly these are the most dramatic books I’ve read, which I love. My favorite thing about fanfiction is how character focused they are, all the big sweeping emotional gestures, all the angst and drama. Give me all that shit. SJM’s books give me that but with original characters/a new world/etc. which allows me new content with those same tropey, dramatic things that I love, with good writing. “ anonymous

“GOD I WISH I KNEW, I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF BEING HELD IN THIS FANDOM AGAINST MY WILL AND BETTER JUDGEMENT. I guess I’d say the characters– while I wouldn’t call them “relatable” necessarily– are engaging, and the light fantasy trappings, digestible (though not refined) prose, fast pace, exciting-if-not-necessarily-logically-sound plot twists, and heightened drama create an exciting tableau/ fertile ground for indulgent romance narratives/ heavy interpersonal dramas, which SJM does well. There’s also lots of side characters/ unexplored plot or world-related threads prime for creative exploration that make the world fun to explore as a fic writer.“ @valamerys

“The books have an element of wonder to them; my jaw was wide open during the scene in HOF when all the witches drummed for Abraxos and during the Weaver scene in ACOMAF. Aelin never fails to make me laugh, and on the flip side, her story in HOF is my absolute favorite.” @screaming-at-billiards

And finally, this little snippet that I thought explained why most of us read for the female characters:

“that the women don’t need men to be powerful”


Dislike:

So we clearly have some issues with the diversity…

“Two black girls died for white pain (Dorian/Sorscha and Aelin/Nehemia) in back to back books.”

“I would like to see more POC and LGBT characters because I feel like with the powerful messages and arcs these characters go through it would be beneficial not only to the storyline (with experiences like racism and LGBT discrimination to add to their issues and how they deal with them) but to how people read the book.”

“She messed up big time with ACOWAR and how poorly she treated Mor’s trauma.”- anonymous

“I can’t think of a general thing I dislike about Sarah’s books. I know lack of/poorly handled diversity is an issue but as a straight white female I tend to let others speak on this as I don’t feel like it’s my place to say whether or not POC/LGBTQ+ characters are represented well/enough. Other than that there are plot points, conversations, small things, etc. that I wish had gone differently but that’s my nitpicking and personal preference.” anonymous
“Primarily it’s the lack of representation and understanding of diversity, but recently with acowar I felt she became too busy and it was a bit rushed and unfinished.” @fcyrearcherxn

“Eh I wish it [descriptions of skin color] was clearer so ppl would stop drawing illiryans white” @acourtoffeyreandaelin

And some of us have issues with world building…

“Sjm seems to think about a lot of things while writing, but she doesn’t think them all the way through. For example, the magic system, the references to mythological characters/creatures from multiple cultures and smashed together, etc. I get the sense that even if she has to outline for her publisher, there is still so much that just isn’t thought about with enough attention to detail.“ @abookandacoffee


How dislike affects our reading:

Some of us are not affected by the things we dislike:

“Not at all really, if anything it just fuels fanfiction.” anonymous

“Literally not at all. Even if there are things I dislike, I still love the characters and their stories.” anonymous

“they mildly irritate me until i get over it about 4 minutes later” anonymous

“not much tbh, I just skipped that shit lol” @squaddreamcourt

Some of us were disappointed by acowar and the world building issues it raised affected our enjoyment:

“It makes me cringe when I read it, and honestly all the issues in ACOWAR made it harder for me to get into. Some illogical (even with magic in place) things in the end battle made it impossible for me to focus on the end of the book, cause I still couldn’t get over how little sense what had just happened made. Which was the opposite of ACOMAF, I couldn’t get enough of that book.” - @nightinsurgent

Some of us are negatively affected by the way SJM has handled certain issues:

It [ Mor’s trauma in acowar] honestly ruined the entire book for me and I try to pretend like the third book isn’t even canon.” -anonymous

“Sometimes it can put a downer as I’m a POC I can sometime realise I can’t fully relate to all characters but usually i brush it off as I realise that all books have faults.”-anonymous

And some of us feel guilty for enjoying these books despite the issues:

“I have at times (particularly after major online discussions) felt guilty for taking pleasure from something that hurt another person’s feelings.“- anonymous 


How the fandom affects our enjoyment:

Some of us love the fandom and how it leads to deeper understandings of the story:

“I LOVE fandom. It makes me feel like I’m part of something and that I have people who are there for me. It also gives me new ways of obsessing about the series, and I love seeing other people’s interpretations and feelings about the books, especially when they point out things that I haven’t noticed before. It just gives me a deeper, richer reading experience and it’s like I’m always partly in the world of the books, because I’m always thinking about them and in that sense they never really leave me and are always a part of me.“ @ashryverblue

“WE RIDE AND DIE TOGETHER SO NOTHING IS TOO PAINFUL WHEN YOU HAVE EACH OTHER” -anonymous

For some of us, fandom really affects how we enjoy the books and how we think about certain aspects and characters:

“I’ve always been a critical reader but I wonder if I didn’t have a medium to see, read, and interact with my criticisms that I would let them go easier.”- anonymous

“I can mostly ignore it but sometimes it makes me feel shame for liking the books as much as I do. I also can get past it because I think some people are way to harsh and expect perfect characters which is not what I’m here for. Also, even if improvement in terms of representation is slow at least sjm has made some changes which is something most authors would never do.”-anonymous

“I get to see both sides of all the arguments and my own opinions are sometimes changed based on an argument someone might present considering any topic, which expands my horizons and makes it more enjoyable for me.” @angrydinosauryouth

“I don’t think I would care about Suriel’s death so much if it wasn’t for this fandom who made him a drama loving queen. Things like that” @jmaas-books-lover

We are disappointed with the fandom recently:

“At first I loved how we were all interacting, but the fandom has grown so negative and condemning of any differing opinions. I don’t mean people being called out others for saying abusive characters are not abusive, but people seem to go to war over inconsequential opinions that don’t harm anyone.” @nightinsurgent

“The ACOTAR fandom in particular used to be really lovely and amazing, and there are still groups with whom that is still true. Everyone let people think about and enjoy what they wanted as long as we weren’t perpetuating or justifying abuse, and it was a very supportive environment. It’s less so, now, and people are defending the text just to defend it, which is frustrating to me both as a fic writer AND a reader.” @sarahviehmann

“What gets at me is the clouds of negativity… And it seems really  hard to avoid sometimes, especially in such a small fandom. And when a few vocal members, who otherwise make good stuff, get very negative it gets worse…”

Some of us love the books despite what the fandom has to say:

“The fandom itself doesn’t affect my love of the books, I make my own opinions about them. But the fandom is severely affecting my enjoyment of being a part of the fandom.” @miladyaelin

Some of us enjoy parts of the fandom, but have serious issues with how the fandom reacts negatively to certain aspects of the books:

“Parts of the fandom really make me happy and allow me to discuss my thoughts and feelings about the books. There’s an amazing community of people. But there is a huge part of the fandom which really, really negatively affects my experience through heavy, harsh, and often unnecessary criticism. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be critical and shouldn’t discuss the issues in her books, but there’s almost a frenzy about it now to the point where those of us who enjoy her books are made to feel bad about it. Yes, she has problems. But there has been significant improvements that no one seems to want to acknowledge. The second something new is released it’s torn into shreds and if you have a different opinion then you’re wrong. (For example, how Morrigan’s coming out was handled. Everyone has been saying how bad it was and how Sarah really messed it up, but I’m bisexual and I now really relate to Mor and the way she came out and her reasoning for not doing so before was incredibly real and believable to me. It seems that a lot of the people (though obviously not all) who criticise the lack of diversity in SJM’s books aren’t actually diverse themselves and are just on some sort of crusade to make themselves look like better people.) Why can’t some of us just enjoy a book for what it’s worth?” anonymous