who wants to go shopping

Unlucky Nine: A list of antis you may or may not have encountered in the vld fandom

Start Note: When I mention [Ship Name] Anti, it means a shipper of that ship who is also anti of another ship mentioned depending on the context as opposed to Anti-[Ship Name] which is someone who is an anti of the ship mentioned.

I. “Ship K/ance or Sha//ura or my ship instead” anti

These antis are just assholes. They insult other ships that contend to their own. These antis are prevalent in Sheith, Kallura and sometimes Shidge tags.

You get K/ance antis calling Sheith yaoi culture but then they totally change Keith and Lance’s character to fit the same trope. I was so pissed the other day because someone took Lance and just shoved Uke™ on him to fit an AU where he crushes on Keith.

You got K/ance & Sha//ura antis calling Kallura heteronormative but we aren’t the ones who’re forcing a mom troupe on her despite her not being really motherly. (Hunk is the mom friend but let us forget the fat character for aesthetics) You get them saying they love Allura but her story line, which focuses on her duty and willingness to sacrifice anything for it, is shoved for some romance. (Allura, although possibly having some romantic take to it, did not save Shiro because she had a fucking crush on him. She saved him because he needed saving and she viewed his role to Voltron as more important than hers.Stop acting like it is a canon romantic scene. No real scene in Voltron is really inherently romantic.)

You got K/ance shouting if Kallura happens, there won’t be any representation (m/m) but we still got Shiro, Lance and Hunk. Yes, we still got Shunk, Shance and Hance. if we go poly, there is Shunce. And if we dig deeper and you are willing, add Coran into the mix(I’m shoran trash undeniably).

You got them saying Shidge is wrong but the most official thing we got is actually the OFFICIAL Voltron site (whose content probably was made known to the entire crew and was advertised to the general public) saying ‘5 teens.’ But let us dwell on a half-baked video where a person throws numbers into some of the crew’s mouths. Let us not dwell on how Allura has no one bit of an age meter. For all we know, she could be a centuries old Alien. But sure why not, dwell on Shidge.

They put their ships on high pedestals to trample on other ships but you are probably a hateful bitch when you call them out on their shit.

II. “Shiro is spacedad” anti (bonus points for Allura as space mom)

These antis believe Shiro is a grandpa. They seem him as a father figure which would have been okay because let us admit that at some point the space dad joke were funny UNTIL PEOPLE TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. Unlike the typical fan who laugh at the jab, these people take things to far and actually think it is canon. Shiro is actually a dad. “How dare you hc Shiro as a young and vulnerable character instead of my perfect space dad™?” All that crap.

But if you remember Prisoner Shiro, Kerberos Shiro, he looks pretty young. If you change back his hair before the frosty tips, remove the scar and the buff bara bod (he probably got from fighting in the ring), you wouldn’t find him looking wise beyond his years.

Coupled with Canon™ Space Mom Allura, it just pisses me off. Allura is enigmatic, a bit impulsive but her impulses are mostly practical, not afraid to jump into action, a bit bossy and domineering at times, yes, but deep down inside Allura is just a princess who wants her life back, who wants to live in peace with pretty things like her Altean flowers, who wants to go shopping for sparkly things, and maybe experiment with cute hairstyles.

This is why it kinda pisses me off. The idea was cute. Heck, I made an entire Sha//ura au once with my friend with the whole vld family thing but when they just pushed for it on discourse and acted like it was some holy canon grail, I was just really seven levels of salt.

III. “Pidge is like 4 months old” anti

These antis just infatalize Pidge. “Pidge is a kid. She can’t make romance decision. Pidge is practically a baby. How dare u” and all that shit. But it is totally fine for someone you see as a ‘kid’ to be flying an alien warship and engaging in an intergalactic war? Same goes for those who infantalize other Paladins. The logic is flawed enough but something else really pissed me off in this one.

My main concern with this is that the blatant forcefulness that Pidge is young because she has all the stereotypical looks of younger people. It undermines short girls who never grow up to be tall and developed upfront. Some people never get hit with puberty right. I was thirteen and 5′1 and now I’m  nineteen and guess what? 5′1.5. Where is the justice puberty? You didn’t hit me up. You just poked me with a stick once and left.

And just the other day, guess what? I was again assumed to be like fourteen, especially since I was standing right next to my tree of a younger brother who is like sixteen. I probably would be rich right now if i had a dollar for every single person who thought I was fourteen. Pidge may look young by stereotypical standards, sure. But that doesn’t mean she is. She could just be a short 19 year old.

The concept of child-coded is bullshit. I mean look, I look, by stereotypical anti standard, like a fourteen year old therefore when tall people my age or older (who coincidentally also fit the stereotypical adult look standard) theoretically like me, we are perpetuating pedophilia. If we start dating, since they are adult-coded and I’m child-coded, it’s almost as if it is already pedophilia.

If anything, the infantalization of Pidge showed me that people, yes I repeat, people will continue to be misogynistic to women who do not fit the stereotype of what a woman should be. I mean, when did height and cupsize amount to a woman’s age and maturity as a person? It just says you have to fit this shitty standard to be something and to be recognized and that is fucking bullshit.

Oh well, to the antis, I guess I’ll be a minor forever. And to end this segment with another one of your fave defenses, “I”M MINOR-CODED AND CHILD-CODED SO YOU CAN’T ATTACK ME UWU”

IV. “Shiro’s trauma is an issue” anti

This is by far the one of the things I’ve seen. These people say that because Shiro experienced some traumatizing shit, he is not eligible for a relationship with any of the Paladins. It basically says that because Shiro has ptsd, he can’t date anyone who is potentially(meaning they see this character as young or immature and they aren’t actually as such) less mature™ or younger than he is. It basically says that since Shiro has ptsd, he must be toxic by default. It thrives upon the logic that anyone with mental health issues is gonna be toxic in relationships. (except Sha//ura cuz apparently Shiro who they call toxic in all other relationships isn’t toxic there)

V. “go fucking kill yourself” anti

No explanations needed. Assholes with no regard for human life. Suicide baiting, Gas lighting, you name it. Best thing to do is just block these. No arguing with them.

VI. “I’m a minor/survivor/minority group so I am allowed to be an asshole to anyone” anti

These are the people who go and attack others but when you call them out on their shit, they go like “but we are a minor/survivor/part of a minority.”

I’m only gonna say this once so listen well. (Who am I kidding? I’ve stressed this so much.) Being a minor/survivor/minority does not excuse you from being an asshole. You can experience terrible things and be like fourteen but you can still be an asshole. It does not give you a free pass to ruin other people’s lives. Get that inside your head. Someone can be depressed and still be an asshole. Someone can be autistic and still be an asshole. Someone can be gay and still be an asshole. Someone can be part of a general minority group and still be an asshole. Their status as a minor/minority/survivor DOES NOT make them an asshole but this specific person, who coincidentally fits in a certain group, is just an asshole. Their status is merely circumstantial and not the root of their being an asshole therefor it must not be used as an excuse for them to be one.

VII. “Shaladin is okay except for Shidge ft. Ship Sh/att instead” anti

I’m like WHY? These antis act like they are allies and they are good™ but they throw Shidge under the bus and vilify it to somehow make other shaladin ships appeal to the anti standards. You draw the line in Shidge? Well, I draw the line in vilifying ships to put yours on a pedestal. I would’ve understood if it was just basic ‘I don’t like Shidge’ but no, it has to rhyme with the anti logic of infantalizing her and all those things.

And don’t let me get started on Sh/att. Cuz it just shattered all the hope of me getting into this ship. This was good, old friends trope, I couldn’t save you trope. You name it. It has all the layers of angst that normally i would dive into. But the shippers use the same rhetoric shaladin antis use on Shidge. “It’s shidge but gay” Do you know how misogynistic you sound? And how dare you think I ship my ship because ‘aesthetics uwu’.

The idea of throwing Shidge out to appeal to the antis like some sacrificial lamb is just anti rhetoric itself. “It’s okay if one ships takes the fall for us.” It’s just pointing fingers at someone, in this case some ship. And honestly, that sucks.

VIII. “I’m gonna misuse social justice to call you all these names and not appreciate social justice when it is working against me” anti

These antis are those who try to shit on ships by appealing to twisted social justice but the moment actual social justice works against them, they try to ignore it and you just know, it was never a social issue to begin with.

A perfect example of this are the “Bi Lance for K/ance” antis. They shout and tell the world,”we got Bi Lance, we got a bi character in our ship. Whoop Whoop representation” but moment someone goes “oh nice, I ship Lance with Allura/Pidge/Nyma/Plaxum/any girl in existence.” They jump at you and call you cis het scum or whatever. But Lance is Bi right? Don’t Bi people like umm girls too???? Yes??? Do you know what a bi is?????

You see, they actually don’t care about bi representational at all unless it is used to put their ships up. And don’t get me started on the hate for ‘Bi Keith.’ I know the idea of Gay Keith is a fan fave but Bi Keith is a possibility. Like Bi Lance is everything to the universe but you are suddenly Zarkon if you as much think about Bi Keith. You love bi representation so much don’t you?

Oh and the antis who go like “we are protecting survivors and minors” just as they attack survivors and minors. Good job on the protecting.

Everything these antis do is just plain crap. When you untangle their twisted social justice and see the ulterior motives, you see their actions for what they are, personal vendettas against shippers, attacks so that whatever shitty ship they have gets to trample on other ships.

IX. “fiction is reality” anti

These are just antis who thrive on the idea that fictitious content is actually reality and therefore every dark-themed content is evil.

Tell me why I’m not marking Priests with hot iron stamps fresh from flames and killing them? I read Angels and Demons. Tell me why I’m not suddenly killing humans and eating them? I watched Hannibal. Tell me how I haven’t butchered the person I like? I watched School Days + Higurashi and I was like thirteen, a minor yes, at the time. Tell me how I’m not suddenly taking people in strange boats and making them go through hell, I was eight, a fucking kid, I watched Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl). They are unanswerable because fiction is in fact not reality.

The idea that fiction is reality is just the same as how way back four or so years ago, there was a backlash in gaming like with fighting and guns because it supposedly perpetuates violence and supposedly hypnotizes people. And you know how stupid that idea is? That is how stupid the idea that ‘fiction’ is reality’ in fandom is.

And if you actually do think fiction is reality, I suggest you seek medical help.

End Note: Antis may appeal to other forms of attacks or a mix of these but you guys stay strong and safe.

anonymous asked:

What do you think is the best way to contact a spirit for a beginner spirit worker? Thanks you :)

hi anon!

this is a great question that can vary in answer depending on who you’re asking. for some people who started and stuck exclusively with spirit shops and conjurers, they may recommend exactly that! for others who meet spirits without the aid of shops, they may recommend conjuring yourself, or even taking a look around your house or neighborhood. spirits exist everywhere and are all around us, so the options are endless.

first off: protections

for a beginner, i first want to recommend knowing how to protect yourself. before you even begin meeting spirits or contacting them, ensure you know how to ward yourself and your room and/or personal space. in ideal situations i would recommend also warding your entire house, if possible, but i know that can be a bit difficult, especially if you use tools to help ward and you live with people who may not know you’re a spirit worker. i experience that particular problem myself, so i can relate. protections at the very least will ensure that if something goes wrong, you will remain safe. 

now, on to the fun part: meeting a spirit!

spirits are easier to find than you think

something i didn’t realize when beginning spirit work is that spirits are all around us, all the time. that tree in your backyard? it most likely has a spirit. those crossroads where those two streets intersect by your house? spirits probably pass through there. that lake you might walk by once in a while? there are likely spirits that call that lake home. live in more of an urban environment? no worries- spirits live there too. spirits call many places home, and once you come to terms with this reality, everything will change for you, both in positive and negative ways. remember: spirit work is dangerous. but you know what else is dangerous? driving and swimming- two things that a lot of people do on a near daily basis. just as you learn the right precautions you need to take before you get behind the wheel or enter the water, you do the same before you get involved with spirits. but once you’re able to drive, or swim, or interact with spirits, and you do so safely, you will be opening yourself up to a world of opportunities and wonderful experiences, as well as danger. regardless of the outcomes, though, driving, swimming, and spirit work are all learning experiences. it’s appreciating your newfound experiences and everything that comes along with it, positive and negative, that’s key to making spirit work a really wonderful thing.

now, i often times see beginners discuss how they conjure spirits to meet them. while that practice is completely valid, i would not recommend it for a beginner for one simple reason: why put in all of that work when you have spirits around you already? i dunno about you, but i love being lazy. if there’s a short but efficient route i can take, i’ll take it, and reaching out to spirits that already exist around you is exactly that: short, sweet, and efficient. use the resources already at your disposal!

and so ultimately, my recommendation for a beginner spirit worker who wants to contact a spirit is to use proper protections, discernment, respect, and caution to introduce yourself to a spirit who already lives close by. now, if you’re asking yourself, “but what if i can’t feel spirits yet? how do i find one if i can’t sense them?”, then you’ll need to back up a tiny bit, but only for a moment. 

recognizing what’s familiar so we can recognize what’s unfamiliar

i mentioned before that trees contain spirits. trees are old, hulking giants that have seen so many things. if possible, find a tree that you can sit under for a few hours, and make sure you bring a laptop or a notebook and pen. whether a spirit worker or not, lounging under trees is a common thing done by many people, and so you likely won’t be infringing on what the tree spirit considers its space, as it’s already something so frequently shared.

while there, relax and focus. it may take you a bit to find that sweet spot between comfortable and attentive, but take your time, be patient, and you’ll get there. while focusing (or meditating, if you’d like to slip into a deeper state of consciousness), sense what you feel around you. is there a breeze? how are you breathing? are you hungry? do you hear people talking? are there cars driving by? focus on each external force that is acting in and around you. once you recognize each one of these distractions, mentally label it, and then let it go. visualization here can help. for me, i mentally picture myself writing “cars”, “talking”, or “stomach growling” on a little paper boat and sending it down a river. be creative, and imagine yourself acknowledging and then removing each one of these external forces acting around you. 

these things will continue to happen around you, of course, but by acknowledging these distractions and then letting them go, you will begin to feel the silence underneath everything. it is in this silence we are able to sense spirits. often times people try to forcibly tune out the things happening around them in order to concentrate, but in doing so, they instead wind up harping on these things, stunting their ability to concentrate. but, if you recognize each potential distraction and then let it slip away from your attention, you will feel less inclined to focus on it. in doing this, we get one step closer to putting all of our attention on sensing spirits. 

as we understand and recognize the energies and distractions that come from the mundane world around us, including the energies and distractions that come from ourselves, we will begin to pick up on energies we are unfamiliar with. often times, these unfamiliar energies are spirits whose vibrations and energies we have tapped into after we recognize, understand, and discard the familiar energies around us. 

starting small (or large): listening to trees

as your focus turns its back on those distractions, you are able to place your attention elsewhere- in this case, on spirits. as you sit under that tree, begin to focus on what energies the tree is giving off. do you see colors? do you hear the impressions of a voice? or maybe you are experiencing feelings that you know are not your own because, as stated above, you recognized how you are feeling and know what to expect from yourself. any energies, feelings, colors, sounds, etc, that you experience while focusing on that tree can be the tree’s spirit communicating with you, with other trees around it, or with itself. but regardless who that info is meant to be going to, it is still information coming from the tree’s spirit. if possible, write down any and all sensations and experiences you receive from that tree. then, using proper discernment in the form of meditation or divination tools, for example, reflect back on what you experienced. then, repeat this process. go back to the tree some time later, focus on it, and see what information you receive then. crosscheck your experiences with your previous ones, and even do a little research. what else do other people experience when they hang out with a tree spirit? 

from there, as you get more and more comfortable with the methods you use to pick up on this tree spirit, move onto different spirits. as you practice, you may not need to sit down and meditate to find a spirit. over time, you may be able to pick up on those unfamiliar energies while you’re out and about, and in doing so, you may find a spirit that lives in a store you frequently go to, for example, without having to sit down and meditate on it.

if my tree method does not work for you because of your living environment, don’t worry. are there flowers outside? can you afford a potted plant, maybe? do you live by a beach? do you own crystals? all of these things, and all of these locations will contain spirits that may be willing to share info with you. the reason i recommend starting with a tree or other plants is because they tend to be easy to work with, and often times far less malicious than other spirits you may come across. but don’t be fooled! plant and tree spirits have their own personalities. you may find one that’s a bit snippy or grumpy. don’t always expect that a little flower will be kind! 

now, that is just one recommendation i can give, which i personally find is the best one. but! other people will likely give you very different answers! 

what about spirit shops? 

do you feel comfortable purchasing from a conjurer? then maybe you can try out a spirit shop. if you find a shop, i highly recommend reading reviews and see how the shop treat their spirits. do they create listings that read like items that are being sold? or do their listings read like profiles for living entities who are autonomous and have their own wants/needs/desires, and are fully in control of the companion they will be going home to? as well, see if you can find how much experience the shop owners/conjurers have. in my experience, all reputable shops should have a detailed “about” page that explains the full extent of that shop owners experience. and finally, trust your gut. how you feel when looking through someone’s shop is key to determining if you’d like to work with them. you’ll be contacting and bringing home a friend who should 1) want to be in that shop and 2) want to go with you. in my opinion, if you sense any red flags, then stay the hell away. 

what about conjuring?

and lastly, there’s the conjuring option. this i just… don’t recommend, personally. spirit work is risky in every way, shape, and form, but when you conjure, you have no idea who will show up, especially if you’re a beginner. 

in conclusion… 

the choice is up to you. how do you feel you’d best experience spirit work as a beginner? do you feel safe going outside and trying to commune with a spirit? would you rather have someone from a shop pair you up with a spirit? or maybe you think you’ll have a knack for conjuring! ultimately the decision is yours. i do hope i was able to provide some info to help guide you along the way, though!

well anon, i wish the best of luck to you! if you have any questions or comments for me, please feel free to drop by!

Masturbating is a great alternative in the absence of somebody to actually have sex with. Yet jerking off can be a bit expected and even a chore, which might explain the recent success of the Fleshjack, a fancy tube to stick your dick in. But who wants to go shopping when horny and spend €50 on a piece of plastic? Many cheap tricks and domestic solutions are to be found, as tried and tested on the following pages. How practical!

SOCK
There’s nothing quite like the feel of a 100%-cotton white crew sock from the GAP. They’re really durable and quite form-fitting. They’re also very discreet, and can be tucked under the mattress for safekeeping. They make an excellent gift for your dorm-bound buddies at university. Hurry, someone’s coming! 


PRINGLES CAN
This is a good, homemade masturbatory device for real do-it-yourselfers. All you need is a Pringles can, some foam rubber, a sturdy, non-lubricated condom, a 1.5-inch rubber cockring and a pair of scissors. When you’re done, just pop the lid back on, and the device – now ingeniously disguised as a can of chips – can be hidden away from prying eyes.


STEAK
This piece of organic British beef from Tesco is probably the closest you’re going to get to penetrating real flesh. Just be sure to leave it out for an hour before using, so it can reach room temperature. Other cuts will do, of course, but the test panel found this sirloin steak to be the right size for wrapping around a good piece of meat. When finished, grill on both sides and bon appétit


SOFA
Fucking IKEA… literally. This two-seater is covered in hard-wearing, easy-care grain leather – a very practical choice for families with children. The cushions, filled with high-resilience foam and polyester fibers, provide you with the sensation of fucking an ass that has maybe seen better days. On the other hand, if you like ’em loose, then just close your eyes; humping Ektorp is actually almost like the real deal.

VACUUM CLEANER
The 1800-watt Electrolux ZSH710 Cyclone Power vacuum used here provides some powerful suction – just make sure it doesn’t suck your dick off completely. It’s probably okay as long as you keep it at a lower setting. If the hose provided is too small for your erect penis, look for a girthier one in the plumbing department of your local hardware store.

BANANA PEEL
All that’s required for this last trick is a banana. Bananas can be found literally everywhere, and there are over a thousand different varieties, so there’s bound to be a perfect fit for almost any dick length. There’s some debate from banana-peel-wanking enthusiasts about whether bananas or their larger cousins, the plantains, are better for jerking off. It’s a matter of personal choice, really.

When the Ink Dries Part V

Rated: Explicit

Notes: Thank you @icedteainthebag for spending immense amounts of time working this through with me and for being brilliant.  @gazeatscully and @h0ldthiscat for the hugely helpful early stage beta’ing that helped get it to this point.

And to all of you who’ve been so supportive and amazing.

Parts I-IV can be read here

* * * * * *


Chapter 11

The strident echo of Stella’s boot heels grew humbler come late afternoon as they clicked down the damp concrete sidewalks of London’s shopping districts.  All morning long, she’d walked arm-in-arm with Scully in a mood seemingly unscathed by pain and weather best described as a permanent cold sweat.  But now Scully could feel Stella’s arm growing heavy, leaning a little rather than leading, and beneath the buttery leather of Stella’s off-day civilian jacket was a tightly clamped fist, the humps of four bracing fingers visibly knuckling the black calfskin.  Scully asked if she needed another painkiller.

“One last stop,” was Stella’s indirect answer.

“Are you sure because -”

And then Scully saw it.  Secretive and svelte, a door tucked trenchlike down four wrought-iron steps–a place that looked as likely to sell James Bond his spygear as it did his girlfriends their racy underwear.  Scully had been watching Stella fight to feel like herself all day, and one look at this shop said it was meant to be the pièce de résistance in that carefully drawn battle plan.   

“Nevermind,” she said.

The first time Stella ever suggested they go shopping together, they’d just arrived in Chicago, one of their early girls’ weekends when they’d managed to make their paths cross amidst conferences and con artists (psychics, was Mulder’s word for them).  A  wicked midwestern wind had whipped past as they stepped out of the taxi and Stella promptly announced that she hadn’t packed appropriately.  A bit of a rash declaration for someone who’s just arrived, Scully had thought, a bit like someone who, say, wanted to go shopping.  In an effort to act fast, she’d offered to sacrifice up her own warm coat.

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Winter Starters
  • "It's SO COLD!"
  • "I'm not sure we're going to be able to go anywhere today."
  • "Would you like to build a snowman?"
  • "Whatever happened to global warming?"
  • "Everything's melting."
  • "I don't think there's enough snow."
  • "Looks like a green Christmas this year."
  • "Take these lights and cover the bushes."
  • "It's a winter wonderland!"
  • "I love the long nights."
  • "You need a pair of sunglasses today."
  • "Do we have any eggnog?"
  • "Looks like a night for alcohol."
  • "I need some soup."
  • "I made you some hot chocolate."
  • "Layers of blankets are needed here."
  • "I'm not getting out of bed today."
  • "I got a fire started."
  • "Look at all the snow!"
  • "What's the temperature outside?"
  • "It's raining again."
  • "I think I'll stay home."
  • "Tea is what's needed here."
  • "The holidays are overrated."
  • "Who wants to wassail?"
  • "Let's go shopping."
  • "Light the candles!"
  • "Is all this really necessary?"
2

he was the art

@beggingforfics​ or hannah or bby depending on the time of day gave me this prompt (well this picture) so here is the story of delia and harry. 

i’m posting this to make her feel guilty. just a psa.

Delia happened upon him in the middle of the art shop, her basket heavy from paints that her roommate insisted she pick up because it was perfect for the project he was assigned. She hoped she was reading his handwriting correctly, grabbing the right numbers and the correct brushes, but he had a doctor’s handwriting and all of it merged together into a bunch of random words that made no sense to her. 

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Just A Normal Saturday

Your day usually starts with you waking up before all the boys. You have to climb over all three of them from your shared bed and tried not to fall over when you tripped over Kenny.

You wash your face, brush your hair and teeth, and put on your clothing of the day. You put on your binder before slipping on your t-shirt and jeans. By then, Kenny is downstairs making breakfast for himself. You slip into the kitchen, wrapping your arms around the man’s waist.

“Morning, handsome,” you always tell him. He blushes lightly and turns to kiss your cheek. He usually makes a bowl of cereal, and takes a bowl out for you. You thank him as he makes your bowl, and you fill up four cups of orange juice.

“What do you think Dallon and Brendon will want?” He usually asks. You never knew, but they’d usually eat what you left out. Today, you decided on toast with Nutella. Once you were done making their breakfast, you sat down next to Kenny to enjoy your cereal.

“What are today’s plans?” You ask. He shrugs and eats more cereal.

“We don’t have a show or anything, so Dal and Bren might want to stay in. Have a lazy day,” he answers.

“Well, I have to go grocery shopping,” you said, “I’ll go at noon.” Kenny nodded, taking a large bite of cereal.

Dallon walks in, dark circles around his eyes. He sees his breakfast already sat out and sits next to you, “god bless you.” He moans as he eats the toast. You kiss his cheek. You know that when Dallon wakes up, Brendon usually follows. He claims he misses the warmth of all his babies, but you all know it’s because he doesn’t like being alone. You don’t blame him.

“I will never get used to this site in the mornings,” Brendon usually says before taking a seat by Dallon.

“Who wants to go grocery shopping with me today?” You ask. They all perk up. You giggle and think for a moment, “I’m guessing all of you want to?”

They all nod, hurriedly leaping from their seats. Brendon stuffs all of his food in his mouth as the other two quickly eat what’s left. You giggle ad you watch them race to the bathroom.

“We have 3 bathrooms for a reason!” You call after them. You hear Kenny and Brendon groan and assume Dallon got in the master bath.

“He’s taller! Of course he’s the fastest!” Brendon groans, walking toward one of the other bathrooms. You hear Kenny grumbling about being more aerodynamic.

—–=====+=====—–

One of the perks of having your three boyfriends is always having someone who can drive you places.

Brendon almost always drives when its all four of you, but sometimes when he’s tired, Kenny does. Dallon always gets shotgun because he is the tallest, and you usually sit behind him. Kenny sit’s in the seat behind Brendon, but if he is driving, Brendon sits there.

You read over the list multiple times to make sure you didn’t miss anything. If you miss something, the boys point it out. Kenny reminds you that you need pads, and Dallon reminds you that you are low on soap. Brendon always tells you Nutella should be on the list and you tell him that if you are under the budget at the end, you’ll buy some. The boys always insist you don’t need a budget, and you always tell them that you work better with one. Everything has to go according to plan. Your set pattern.

“Do you want to split up and make it go by faster?” Kenny always asks. You shake your head, you say you all should stick together. Brendon always pushes the cart, and you walk beside him, one hand on top of his and the other holding the list. Kenny is in charge of the calculator, typing in every number you say. Dallon is in charge of putting items in the cart, already used to your organization methods.

Dallon sometimes tries to toss things into the basket, resulting in him failing miserably and putting the item back. You can always tell if Kenny forgot to add a number, because he repeats what he has added up and you help him fix it. Brendon gets quiet so you stop.

“Can you two go get the cheese?” You ask Kenny and Dallon. They both nod and walk off with the cart, teasing each oter back and forth. “What’s up Bren?”

“I… I’m just happy,” he says, “I’m so happy, with all of you.”

You smile and wrap him in a hug, to which he returns, burying his face in your shoulder, “We’re almost done, baby boy, how about we get that Nutella?” You ask. His eyes light up, and he skips off toward the two boys, dragging you behind him.

—–=====+=====—–

When you get back to the house, or “the castle” as the boys call it, you immediately get to work unloading the groceries. Kenny helps you in the kitchen as Dal and Bren bring the food in. Once everything is out of the car, everyone works together to put everything in their proper spot.

Kenny suggests you have a movie marathon in true Saturday fashion and you agree. Dallon makes popcorn, Brendon gets blankets and pillows, you pick the movie, and Kenny gets everyone a drink.

You all sat in your usual order, Kenny on your left, Brendon on your right, and Dal on Brendons right. By the end of the movie, you’re mostly in Brendons lap, Kenny is cuddling up to his side, and Dal has an arm around his back. You all lay in content as Saturday slowly comes to an end. When it’s time to go to bed, Dallon carries you and Brendon carries Kenny to your shared room. You all forget about your usual order and just enjoy laying together.

“I love all of you,” you whisper, “so, so much.”

They all say they live each other too, and your heart soars. You truly are a unit.

3

Jack: I’m almost afraid to ask but.
Jack: I’m going shopping. Anyone wanna come?

Ryan: I’ll come.
Ryan: I love seeing people notice the mask.

Jack: In that case, we’re totally getting you a tux.

Ryan: Can it be an extra-distracting tux?
Ryan: The douchier the better.

Jack: Dude, as long as you take your mask off for effect at some point.
Jack: It’s always hilarious the way they curiously lean in despite themselves only for you to wear creepy-ass facepaint.

Ryan: Oh, it will be dramatic.

Jack: Verily. Gav, you wanna come with scare the shit out of the high fashion stores?
Jack: For some reason, you and Ryan are the most recognizable crew members

Gavin: I would love to come along! I’ll put on my best gams!

Ryan: You have dentures?

Jack: Behave, boys. Now, who has the sleekest, richest car? I want to go shopping *in style*

Ryan: I suspect Michael has the nicest car. Should we ask, or no?

Jack: That depends. Is the car here and the keys in reach, and how fast does he answer his texts? :P

Gavin: Oh! Let me ask him, it’ll just be a tick
Gavin: ….He says yes but only if Jack is driving.

Jack: I’m always driving. Hop on in, boys and girls, we’re going to town!

anonymous asked:

"Don't look at me, I'm hideous" + Baekhyun Have a nice day/night! ❤

You had always been the one who wanted to go shopping with Baekhyun but this time he dragged you with him. You weren’t complaining or anything but he kept bringing clothes for you to try them on. 

You actually liked Baekhyun’s choices but there was this one dress that you wouldn’t dare to wear. 

Don’t get it wrong, the dress wasn’t ugly. It was the total opposite. It was the most beautiful clothing you’d ever seen in your life. You couldn’t keep your eyes off from it. The thing is, it was a little short and showed so much skin. 

Of course Baekhyun, being the cheeky man he is, would bring something like that. 

“C’mon babe, I’m sure that it would look dazzling on you. Just try it on for me. Please?”

“Are we gonna get some ice cream after this?”

“Whatever you want my lady.” he said, handing you the dress.


“Come on cupcake! I want to see it.” Baekhyun kept insisting.

You were so embarrassed to face him. You just didn’t feel comfortable in this dress. It showed like… a lot of skin. 

“Nooooo”

“You’ve been in there for like 20 minutes (Y/N). If you’re not going to come out, I’m coming in.”

“Hah, try me.” you whispered.

“I heard that. I’m coming in.”

“Wait-”

And with that Baekhyun was inside of the dressing room. His eyes widened when he saw you, licking his lips. 

You tried to cover his eyes and pushed him out of the room.

“Don’t look at me, I’m hideous” you mumbled, looking down.

Baekhyun held one of your hands in his tightly, caressing your cheek with the other one. 

“Hideous? Pfttt, something is seriously wrong with your eyes babe. Let me take a look at you… Perfect.”

You looked down again, blushing at his words.

“Do you really want to know why I wanted you to try on this dress?”

“Hmm?”

“I was sure that you would look hot in it and it would be easier to take it off. You know fucking in a dressing room is on my bucket list, so what do you say?”

“Are you serious right- Shit, Baekhyun.” you bit your lip when he started to kiss your neck, sucking and biting the skin.

“I think you’re in too? Am I wrong?”

send in drabble requests!

3

Engines can be Rose (part 4)

An art school AU Reylo Drabble

______________________________

It was Lisztomania.

Well, not exactly the eighteen-forties fan-frenzied response to classical composer Franz Liszt, but the Phoenix song of the same name was certainly causing a present day scene. Walls and bodies shook in the living room, people screeched along with the lyrics at the top of their lungs, and arms flailed as intoxication ruled the night. Up against a wall, a far less enthused Rey clutched onto a cup of something she’d never drink. Desperately scanning the dancefloor for an escape route, her face took on the appearance of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ as she took a brave step forward. Horror for Rey was feeling a sweaty wet arm on her sweaty wet arm. That meeting of moisture made her want to wring old Liszt’s dead ass, and Rey thought she’d reached the end of her wits until when a shoulder bumped into her spine.

“Sorrrrrry!”

A slurred stranger’s apology didn’t count for much when sugary punch seeped between Rey’s toes. She shuddered with revulsion, but Rey miraculously refrained from flicking the drunkard off. It wasn’t anybody else’s fault that she felt awkward and out of place, but once “soiled by rum punch” was added to the list of reasons why she hated the party, Rey decided to call it a night. It wasn’t her scene at all, she couldn’t stop thinking about her art project deadline anyway, and if anybody met the girl’s gaze they would have assumed that the only possible explanation for her attendance in the first place was likely trickery.

In truth, she’d been bribed - and not even with money. No, Rey had been bribed with pizza- and not even with good pizza.

Four, eighty-cent frozen pizzas in exchange for accompanying her friend Poe to the party so he wouldn’t be alone was the deal once considered too tempting to turn down. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Rey had made a bad bargain on cheap pizza. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time that she’d been lured with pizza by Poe that month, but there was the bonus that night of getting to pat herself on the back for being a selfless best friend who cheaply fed herself too. It was basic broke ass college economics that led to Rey entering a three bedroom apartment party, but the minute they’d stepped into the chaos Poe had predictably swept away into a sea of loud greetings as Rey longed to bash her head on the rocks.

Every damn time.

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I started out wanting to develop a comic-y coloring style. Then I threw caution to the wind and added a gradient and it was all over from there.

yooo. check it out.

“Hey there guys!

I’m new to wire wrapping, but I’ve just recently started to make pendants of crystals and stones! Most of these have been fully cleansed and charged under the light of a full moon for all you witches and warlocks out there! ( Some are newer, and have yet to be cleansed/charged. If you’re curious, just ask! )

Each stone & crystal is genuine and one of a kind. Each one is different than the next! ( All stone prices are in order of photo. )

  • Jade $8
  • Jade $10
  • Agate $6
  • Agate $8
  • Amethyst $10
  • Rose Quartz $14
  • Dyed Agate $8
  • Dyed Quartz $6
  • Jasper $6 
  • Lapis Lazuli $6
  • Rose Quartz $12

Add +$3 for shipping.”

All Under the Cut.

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anonymous asked:

How about Tsuyu or Jirou headcanons?

Tsuyu hadcanons here!

  • sometimes wants to dress in a more girly way but feels like she would look weird and people would make fun of her
  • the only person who knows this is Momo and since then she wants to go shopping with her to buy new clothes
  • the type that never shaves because of laziness and when she has to she curses herself
  • has a really sweet singing voice 
  • loves conspiracy theories
  • paints her nails black from time to time
  • also paints Kaminari’s nails black from time to time
  • likes to spend time alone
  • actually used to eat lunch alone during her middle school days
  • used to have really long hair but decided to cut it because it was difficult to take care of
  • she found out short hair was easier to manage and decided to keep the style 
  • likes spiders a lot
  • hates thunderstorms because they are scary
  • has a hard time opening up to people 
  • wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night and finds it difficult to go back to sleep
  • wears glasses but prefers contact lenses
  • sometimes feels lonely all of a sudden and she hates it
  • during those times she tries to find Momo or Kaminari 
  • they always cheer her up even if they are not aware of it
  • panics if someone flirts with her
  • a melomaniac
  • prefers ballads over any other type of song
  • has thought about dyeing her hair multiple times but she can’t decide on the color
  • has a loud explosive laugh and everybody thinks that it’s really charming
Caught in a Web Part 3

Summary: Dan was offered to join Willow Grove Academy, Britain’s most prestigious and renowned private school, on a full scholarship. All of the other students are rich, unlike Dan who comes from a modern lower class society. Things become complicated when he lies about his background to Phil Lester, the most popular and richest boy in the school.

Part 1, Part 2Part 4

Chapter 3:

Having two entire days to not think about school, save for homework, was very relieving for Dan. He could quietly stay shut in his room with his music and video games; he could be Dan Howell, a normal and certainly not rich teenage loner.

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