who wants to drink with me

  • Grunkle Stan: *pointing to broken coffee maker*
  • Grunkle Stan: Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
  • Neil: … I did. I broke it-
  • Grunkle Stan: No. No, you didn’t. Mabel?
  • Mabel: Don’t look at me, look at Dipper.
  • Dipper: What? I didn’t break it!
  • Mabel: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
  • Dipper: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Mabel: Suspicious…
  • Dipper: No, it’s not!
  • Coraline: If it matters, probably not but… Lili was the last one to use it.
  • Lili: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Coraline: Oh really? The what were you doing by the coffee maker earlier?
  • Lili: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that!
  • Neil: Let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.
  • Grunkle Stan: No. Who broke it?
  • Raz: Stan… Wybie’s been awfully quiet-
  • Wybie: Really?
  • Raz: Yeah, really!
  • Everyone: *screaming*
  • Grunkle Stan: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict in ten minutes from now they’ll be at each others throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick… Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

vampirebillionaire  asked:

Nygmobblepot for the wedding meme, because I have to

  • who proposed: definitely Oswald. I imagine he bought an ornate emerald ring ridiculously early (maybe even before the dinner where he planned to confess his love) but just barely managed to resist actually proposing until they’d been dating for a while.
  • how they proposed: he tried really hard to make an elaborate riddle that it would take the day for Ed to solve but literally the first clue Ed was like “I like got it, you want to marry me”
  • who stressed more over wedding planning: Oswlad for sure
  • who had the wildest bachelor(ette) party: for both of them the only bachelor party I can imagine is tying Jim Gordon up and forcing him to pretend to be their friend for a night of drinks
  • who freaked out before the wedding: probably Ed. I think he had a brief moment of full-on wondering if this is what he truly wants and even talked himself out of it for just a minute. But, ultimately he realized it is exactly what he wants.
  • best man/maid of honor: Oswald called dibs on Jim so Ed goes up to Lee like “look, I’m willing to get past the Kristen thing so you should too”
  • where they got married: whatever the nicest venue in Gotham is
  • if/what they wrote in their vows: Oswald’s were very flowery and gushing, Edward’s were intricate and confusing and no one fully knew what the fuck he was talking about. There were a lot of moments where he paused expecting people to laugh or gasp at WHAT HE DID THERE but instead there was just confused silence
  • who cried at the wedding: Oswald for sure
  • which song they had their first dance to: “I’ve Never Been in Love Before” from Guys and Dolls
  • where they went on their honeymoon: I will forever be in love with the idea of them going somewhere real normal like the equivalent of Hawaii and everyone at the hotel being like “of course these two are from Gotham”
  • what they did on their honeymoon: Ed probably wanted to bonezone non-stop and there was a lot of that, but Oswald probably also planned some nice fancy outings

Tagged by @tatsumaisdork - thanks! 

Tagging: @anime-trash-for-life@envy-and-pride, @hasaji-san, @coolthingtrash, @witchoftheseagrass, @asparagusoup@morugans, @iqafullbuster, @musethe, @katherineophe - tagging people who’ve tagged me before/have spoken to me at least once, no pressure to do this. I’m shy otherwise, rarely taking initiative, so if anyone ever wants to chat or tag me, just feel free. (Alternatively, if you don’t want to be tagged again, please do inform me.)

A (age): 28

B (biggest fear):

C (current time): Night.

Keep reading

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.