The Denny’s rule book: A simple guide
Denny’s is your local, friendly diner open 24 hours a day every day of the year. A place to relax and enjoy a breakfast at any hour, a fulfilling lunch or delicious dinner. All are welcome at Denny’s, and it’s your safest location, provided you follow this very simple guide for the nightly hours.
- Never close your eyes in a Denny’s parking lot.
- Walk calmly to the door; you will hear sounds. Do not look behind you.
- Always make sure the door closes behind you, unless it was already open when you arrived, in which case do not touch the door.
- Never sit at the table farthest from the front door. Your server will sometimes try to seat you there. Politely refuse and ask for another table.
- If you see a table with two salt-shakers, walk past it; that table is taken. Sit at the table directly across from it instead.
- Eat your pancakes. Box any leftovers; it would be a shame to waste food. It might attract something.
- Do not, under any circumstance, look into the eyes of your own reflection in the bathroom.
- If your server’s eyes turn black, do not panic; order a coffee with extra cream. Do not ask for a refill. Do not stare.
- Think you recognize someone who just walked in? Best to ignore it. It’s probably not what it seems. They will proceed to sit at the table farthest from the door.
- If you are walking past a Denny’s and you see yourself sitting in the corner booth through the window, keep walking. Do not eat at Denny’s that night.
- Did you tip? You better double check. It’s only polite to leave a tip.
- Do not ask questions. They will Notice.
Your local Denny’s is the perfect place for a delicious meal at all hours of the day. Hope you enjoy your next visit to any Denny’s Diner!