who the hell is bucky

Avengers-based headcanon

1. There is a YouTube video of Thor doing the Hammer Time dance. It has 1,987,042,331 views.  

2. Tony Stark has trained for, and completed, an Iron Man triathlon. The swim was dicey because, as mostfacinorous points out, “He has a battery. In his chest.electro magnet battery thingamajig. He might as well BE the toaster that gets dropped in the tub.” But a special wetsuit fixed that.  The bike went fine, because he modified the shit out of that bicycle (and installed JARVIS in his helmet). The marathon was where it all fell apart. Captain America (in full getup) paced him through the thing, mocking him loudly for the entire 26.2 miles while Tony muttered horrible things in between wheezes. Pepper also competed and she beat him by two hours.  

3. The Riley in both Captain America and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the same person.  Captain America confirms that Nazi vampires were a thing.  Thor also confirms. The Winter Soldier asks, “Who the hell is Buffy?” 

Sam Wilson replies, “Oh, Riley’s ex.  Tiny, blonde, reckless, and self-sacrificing,  tends to fall for dark brooding maybe kinda evil types. You know what, I think you’d like her.”

4. After Age of Ultron, the next Avengers movie night is 2001 A Space Odyssey.  

5. X-Men/Avengers meetup.  When friends suggest they bond over having been memory-wiped and medically experimented upon, Wolverine and Bucky instead get into a pissing contest about who is ‘literally more metal’. (When he gets home, Bucky goes, “Steve, I think you have a point, I’m gonna go shave now.”)