who should really go buy it

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 


“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”

*

“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“No.”
“But—”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”

*

“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”

*

“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“107.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”

*

“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“…”
“Permanence is an illusion.”

*

“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”

*

“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“Same.”
“…”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”

*

“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

margotstrikesagain  asked:

Hey ! You should go watch ScreenJunkies' Honest Trailer for Power Rangers. Apparently they really liked the movie and even said a sequel would be good + the "death metal yoga lesbian" part is funny ^^

I WATCHED IT YESTERDAY AND LOVED IT! I was so pleasantly surprised!

To anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, enjoy:

anonymous asked:

hello friend I have had a pretty bad day do you think you can hmu with some fluffy whizzer/marvin headcanons??

awww i’m sorry friend!! i hope you have a much better day tomorrow!! these are for you, lovely<3

  • whizzer practically melts when marvin strokes his hair or scratches the nape of his neck (canon) but the moment anyone else touches whizzer’s hair, neck or face attack mode is Activated
  • whizzer also likes it when marvin traces patterns on his arms and hands when he’s tired. he watches him because the movements are just mesmerising and it’s so relaxing
  • whizzer didn’t like to hold hands before marvin (or more like he didn’t really consider it – was more of a one night stand than a relationship guy) but marvin just loves holding hands so much and whizzer loves to see him happy. whizzer quickly grows to love it and they’re practically always grabbing at each other in public.
  • marvin is the one who will insist he’s not hungry but then whizzer will buy an ice cream or something and marvin will tell him he should share because it’s only polite.
  • whizzer even offers to go buy another ice cream for him but he’s “not that hungry, god whizzer
  • whizzer practically lives in the crook of marvin’s neck. in bed? cuddling? watching a movie? literal magnetic attraction. even when whizzer’s asleep he moves just so he can stay in place. also this is an obvious advantage when it comes to neck kisses.
  • they go to art galleries together and point at the “ugly” paintings and say “that’s you”
  • marvin: i love yoooou
    whizzer: *snorts* gay
  • they both agree that 80s pop is the most superior pop to ever exist. i’m talking duran duran’s rio and david bowie’s let’s dance. i want you to imagine them in their kitchen at 2am dancing.
  • whizzer: *wiggling and stalking over to marvin as toto’s africa plays*
    marvin, laughing and covering his mouth: you’re- *wheeze* ridicULOUS
    whizzer: but you love me?
    marvin, teasing: let’s not go that far
  • marvin & whizzer: *losing their shit to madness’s baggy trousers in the car*
    jason, mortified: DAD, PLEASE DRIVE
  • whizzer meticulously takes care of his nails and nails are one of the first things he notices when he meets marvin.
  • marvin: well, hey there
    whizzer: god, your nails are awful. ever heard of pushing back your cuticles??
    marvin: i- what…?
  • i’m heading into modern au territory but they’re the couple that insists on clapping along to the Friend’s theme tune no matter what. you’re holding something? tough shit, not anymore!
  • marvin’s a really nice, deep but soft singer and it’s one of whizzer’s favourite things. they could be snuggling together as marvin nuzzles whizzer’s hair and whizzer will request that he sing “their song” – which changes every month btw – and marvin will happily oblige. 
  • i imagine love will tear us apart by joy division is unofficially “their song”.
  • they’re both dad dancers i don’t make the rules. they’re terrible and embarrassing but they’re loved.
  • whizzer loves to gush about the latest fashion trends or photography and marvin is always so eager to listen. whizzer also listens emphatically as marvin tells him about his day.
  • they’re both outrageously competitive. they make bets over the most mundane things.
  • marvin: i bet you can’t scale that wall
    whizzer, already climbing: you bet, my ass
  • one of them gets sick, then both of them gets sick so they are both whiney and unwell in bed together. 
  • they try to get each other to do things with excuses like “but you’re taller!!” “THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING, MARVIN”. 
  • charlotte and cordelia save them from their bed illness cacoon with food and medicine, don’t worry.
  • whizzer has the World’s Ugliest Laugh (snorts and gasps and all) but to marvin it’s the most beautiful thing. goes out of his way to make dumb jokes and tickle whizzer just to hear it.
No Strings (V)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Excessive drinking 

Word Count: 4,040

Summary: It started off as such a simple question. How to know if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually answer.

Originally posted by jiyoongis

Keep reading

surrealscars  asked:

Hello! Sorry to bother, I'm on mobile so I'm not able to see the FAQ but I was wondering what advice do you have for an incoming student starting their first year of college?

Oh boy, do I have some advice. 

  • This will likely be the easiest year of your entire college career, so take advantage of this and get some stellar grades. You don’t know what the future holds, so take this opportunity to start yourself out with a solid GPA. 
  • Don’t get too caught up in college parties. If you’re an incoming freshman, you probably aren’t old enough to be drinking legally, and I think that some college students genuinely forget that underage drinking and owning a fake ID is still very illegal. Don’t ruin your college career over partying. I watched my freshman roommate destroy her GPA because she went out to parties every other night. The parties will still be there when you’re a junior and senior and are actually old enough to drink legally. 
  • Honestly, get a campus job if you can. They’re usually extremely accommodating and only require you to work a few hours a week and you’ll need the extra cash. 
  • Don’t be afraid to talk to your professors. Go to their office hours, ask them to look at your papers, ask them about other classes they think you should take, anything. Get comfortable with them so that you won’t be afraid to ask them questions when you really have them. 
  • Before buying ANY textbooks, check for them on bigwords.com. They’ll find you the cheapest price for the book on the internet. 
  • If you don’t like your major, don’t stay in it! Don’t be the student who hits the spring semester of their junior year before switching their major. 
  • Talk to people on the very first day of class. If you don’t do it immediately, you’ll feel too awkward to try to make friends a few weeks into class. 
  • Don’t skip class! Oh my god, don’t skip class. I don’t care about your newfound college freedom and lenient attendance policies; you are at college for a reason, and I’m pretty sure that reason isn’t to sleep in until noon. 
  • If you feel weird about a class, drop it. Drop it before the deadline. Don’t let yourself get to the 14th week of the semester and realize you’re going to fail a class you could have dropped. 
  • Finally, just take it seriously. College is fun, but it is also SO expensive and you shouldn’t waste thousands of dollars if all you wanted out of the college experience was freedom. You can move out for much cheaper than the cost of college tuition. Don’t waste this opportunity. 

Here are some guides I wrote that might be helpful: 

13 Going on 30 (Part 3)

Summary: When your 13th birthday party goes awry, and you make a life changing wish - you wake up to discover you’ve flash forwarded 17 years ahead. 

Word Count: 1,719.

A/N: This part was super fun to write! Hope you enjoy, and feedback would be greatly appreciated. (also can we take a moment to appreciate this beautiful gif)

@spidweeb - you’re a gem, and thank you so much for always being a great help.

Part 1 Part 2

Originally posted by rohgers

Keep reading

Let’s talk about The Hate U Give.

Folks, if you love YA you need to go out and buy this book ASAP. I’m really, really excited about it. I think that this book, written by Angie Thomas (who you should probably be following on Twitter, by the by), is about to become the new classic of YA lit. Here are just a few of the reasons why:

- It’s kinda longish (over 400 pages) but still a really quick read because you’ll be so invested, a sign Angie Thomas is really doing something right

- It’s going to become a movie starring Amandla Stenberg, the absolute treasure of a person who played Rue in the Hunger Games

- The subject matter is just really important. This is a book born from the Black Lives Matter movement, and it’s stunning. I don’t want to spoil the plot too much, but it’s about a girl named Starr who witnesses an act of police brutality and needs to come to terms with the complicated decision of speaking up.

Please go read this book. More importantly, please go buy this book, or if you can’t, borrow it from your local library - the more a title is taken out, the more the library system will buy. It’s important to show that we want books with diverse stories, and that we’ll put our money where our mouths are.

Like A Fun Idea

Originally posted by multifandomfantasychild

Title: Like A Fun Idea

Summary: The reader catches of the eye of Dean Winchester and tries to win her over.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 1105

Warning: I can’t think of anything, but I always like to be cautious. So warning in general. 

Credit to Gif maker - who is not me. 

  Dean looked across the bar to this bombshell wearing a fitted long sleeve shirt, which raised high enough to see your belly button and toned formed and the type of ripped jeans that you knew all the holes and tears were made from experience. He thought you were stunning, but that wasn’t what drew him in. You were hustling these guys from the bar in pool and they didn’t care because of your smile and laughter. Looking at you, he could tell you had a lot of experience with hustling vulnerable guys at a bar.

               “Check this out,” Dean tapped his brother. Sam swerved his body, looking in the direction Dean was gesturing, “This girl is hanging these guys out to dry.”

               “Oh, I know that face,” he smirked at his brother, “She would eat you alive.”

               Dean shrugged, still staring at you, “I don’t know, I’d just might like that.”

               Sam pushed his arm, “Dude.” The game was over and you were racking up the balls. Dean stood up, finishing the rest of his beer, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Sam yelled after him.

               “Hi,” Dean leaned against the pool table, staring at you, “Can I buy you daiquiri or something?”

               You looked up at him with a straight face, shrugging your shoulders, “I don’t know,” you stand straight leaning on your stick, “Can I dump it over your head afterwards?”

               He raised his eyes at you, “Alright, how about we play a game? And if I win, you let me buy you a drink of your choice?”

               “And if I win?”

               He placed a wad of cash down on the table, “You can take my cash.”

               “Dude,” Sam groaned from the bar.

               “You know him,” you gestured towards his upset brother.

               Grabbing his stick, chalking up the tip, “Nope, now are you going to play or just brew in a corner some more?”                

               Your eyebrows shot up, a little taken back by his sudden confidence. He must have quite the experience with this kind of behavior, “I’ll let you go first, looks like you haven’t gotten a win in a while.” Dean cocked his head to the side, wondering what you meant. Sam picked up his drink and moved closer to watch the scene unfold, hoping his brother didn’t lose their money. Dean focused on the game, the intrigued feeling in his chest pumps adrenaline into his body, and he was excited.

               Walking up to Sam, you went to shake his hand, “I’m Y/N.”

               Sam gave you a smile, “Sam,” he looked at his brother, “Go easy on him, he’s not as douche-y as he seems.” Dean hit the rack, balls flinging in every direction, turning to you and grinning. He looked so proud of himself, “Alright, he can be.”

               You smile at him, turning back to Dean, who was doing quite impressively. Sam got up to go to the bar and Dean had about two balls left with the eight ball. It wasn’t your style to lose, so you had to use one of your tricks. You walked over to Dean’s beer. When you started to walk, you noticed it always catches his attention. It especially caught his attention when you lifted his beer to your lips, taking a gulp. After putting it down, you bit your lip, trying to look coy, “I’m so nervous, I just needed a little more libations to calm the nerves. You don’t mind Dean,” you paused, “It is Dean, correct,” you leaned on the table, letting him catch a glimpse of your cleavage.

               He just nodded his head, “Yeah, it’s Dean,” he struggled with the words. And right then, he lost his edge and missed his shot.

               Sam returned with two beers, passing one to you, “Why thank you Sam,” you smiled at him, cheers-ing in his direction.

               Instantly frustrated, he looked up at you, “You’ll accept a drink from him,” he asked.

               “One,” you said taking a gulp of beer, “He didn’t ask, he just got me one. And two,” you pointed to Sam, “He got me a beer, not some girlie fruity drink. He knew what I wanted,” you wink at Sam. He just shakes his head, taking a seat again, “Mine turn,” you ask.

               Dean nodded, taking his drink with him to sit next to his brother, “You are letting her play with you,” Sam said to his brother.

               Shrugging, Dean watched you bend over the pool table to take a shot, “She can play me anytime she wants,” he smirked, “Plus, I think she likes me.”

               Sam rolled his eyes at him, “Oh yeah, I’m sure she wants you bad.”

               It wasn’t soon before you were on just eh eight ball. You looked up at Dean, he drank his beer, and bit his lips trying to look sexy. He had several attempts before this moment, bending over to pick up his wallet, etc. It didn’t work, but you were entertained. And somehow this stranger, like fungus, grew on you, so right before you sunk the shot you sent him a wink.

               Sam clapped his hand and Dean rolled his eyes, “Take the money,” he groaned.

               You smiled at him before walking over to him, grabbing the cash, and pulling Dean into your lips for a passionate, spontaneous kiss. Right as you pulled away you said, “Nah, keep it. Who would I be if I hustled a fellow hunter,” grabbing your beer and finishing it.

               Dean was still taken by the kiss, but Sam stopped mid drink, “Hunter,” he questioned.

               “Your Sam and Dean Winchester,” you smiled at him, “Jody told me I could meet you here,” I sat next to Sam, meeting eyes with Dean, who was currently in shock, “I need help on a case.”

               “So you knew who we were,” Dean asked, “And this whole pool game?”

               Shrugging, “It seemed like a fun idea,” you smiled at him, “Plus, you were really cute playing that whole playboy douche-y type. It works for you Dean Winchester.”

               Both Sam and Dean’s eyebrows shot up in shock. Dean just looked at you, not knowing if he should be offended or grateful, “Since I gave you your money back, are you going to buy me that drink.”

               Cocking his head again, Dean nodded in agreement, “Fine, but I’m getting you a girlie fruity drink.”

               “Hey,” you yelled back after him.

               Sam pulled out a chair for you, “Don’t worry, he’d be too embarrassed to order a drink like that. You really know how to make a splash Y/N.”

               “Sam, I think this is a beginning to a beautiful friendship,” you smiled after Dean.              

Looking out for students

It’s really easy for me to get frustrated with my undergrads, especially now that I teach over a hundred in a week. At my core I am an introvert, though I have a distant background in performance so when I’m in front of people I want to go all out, which exhausts me and makes me grumpy real quick. I get irritated when they’re late (which is fair, they need to be on time), their constant questions run me ragged when I literally just talked about this in the lecture, and when they don’t have their lab book by week 2? Come on now!

I have one student who checks all of these boxes. We’re supposed to give zeroes for being late, and not having the lab book on the second week should be a zero too.  He’s a really nice kid though, respectful and apologetic, and seems to be pretty smart. So I asked why he didn’t have his book yet. It’s only $12.50 at the bookstore. He said he was waiting to get paid before he could buy it.

No way is a nice, smart kid going to get a zero in my lab just because he couldn’t afford a book. I sought out a spare copy for him and told him to not be late to lab again. 

Fellow instructors, look out for your students. Don’t be another cog in the system that screws the vulnerable (this student is also black). And students, please talk to us! I know this stuff is hard to talk about, but if you don’t we might just assume you’re a slacker. I don’t like to assume the worst about people. I don’t get any joy out of penalizing students for blowing off lab. I want you to learn from me, and I will do everything I can to make it accessible to you.

I won’t pretend I solved all of this student’s problems, or that I deserve a Gold Star in Allyship. The least I could do was to not be complicit. The best we all can do is recognize moments like these and make the right choice.

Who You Should Fight: Greek Gods Edition
  • Zeus: Don't fight Zeus. You'll only end up sleeping with him. On second thought, do fight Zeus.
  • Hera: Look, I'm not saying anyone is really going to try to stop you, but I am saying she is petty as shit and will dedicate the rest of your life to destroying you in other ways. Your call.
  • Poseidon: You could probably fight Poseidon. Dude is built like a brick shithouse but he'd think it was a good time and buy you a beer afterwards.
  • Demeter: Are you fucking kidding? She created a new season the last time someone really pissed her off. Do not fucking fight Demeter.
  • Hades: Fight Hades, but only in spring, and then ask to see pictures of his dog.
  • Hestia: Are you Satan
  • Aphrodite: Arguably the lowest reward to risk ratio on this list. What is even the point here. Might as well save us all some time and punch yourself in the groin.
  • Athena: If you must, a sneak attack is required, and even then you’re still probably boned. Alternately, distract her first with statements such as "Mozart is an overrated hack" and "Garfield is not funny."
  • Hephaestus: You could beat Hephaestus. You could not beat Hephaestus' robot army. Do not fight Hephaestus.
  • Ares: Absolutely fight Ares. This is a no-brainer. Literally everyone wants you to kick Ares' ass including Ares. You might feel bad when he starts crying but only if you are weak.
  • Artemis: Do not fight Artemis. Do not talk to Artemis. Do not look at Artemis. Do not think about Artemis.
  • Apollo: What did I just fucking say
  • Hermes: You could beat him if you could catch him, but you can't, and even if you did, he would convince you to talk it out instead, buy you a drink, and be gone before you noticed your wallet was missing. Avoid.
  • Dionysus: Dionysus is an easy fight until he decides not to be. You could fight Dionysus but under no circumstances force him to give a shit.
  • Persephone: Don't fight Persephone. She will beat you up. Her mom will beat you up. Her husband will probably also be unpleasant and disapproving in some way. Listen to trash pop with Persephone instead.
  • Hebe: Idk man, she bites.
  • Iris: Yo have you ever tried to punch a rainbow?
  • Heracles: Dude has seen some shit. You may think you're bad enough but you really aren't. There is literally no way this could end well for you. Do not fight Heracles.

anonymous asked:

Hello may I request a first meeting/date in an aquarium AU? Thank you so much and have a good day/night ahead! ^^ <3

aw this is such a cUTE IDEA !! <3

  • do you think now would be a good time to mention my massive phobia of the ocean and everything in it…?
  • “that’s you.”
    • “aw that’s so sweet!”
      “no, i was pointing at the blobfish.”
  • the first time i met you, you were imitating a dolphin.
  • “WOAH THAT’S A BIG SHARK”
    “you’re yelling again.”
    “i get excited, sorry.”
  • so you’re telling me, in all the years of your life, you have never been to an aquarium?!? you have not lived.
  • the aquarium has one of those pools where you get to pet the fish and you’re literally the only full grown adult trying to pet the fish, but you look just as excited and hyperactive as the kids.
  • i work at the aquarium and this person (really cute person) is really interested in this one species, which i just so happen to be standing by how c o n v e n i e n t
    • you started talking aloud and it took me a few seconds to realise but you were addressing me and omg please talk more about this creature 
      • this is the most amusing thing i’ve seen because i’m talking about this sea-creature but im making it up as i go along and this employee is totally buying it this is the best
  • …what on earth could this person want with five massive seal plushies???
  • i can see you from the other side of the fish tank so you look a bit distorted but shit even when you’re distorted you’re attractive
  • you’re the only other person here at the aquarium and it’s like 10 PM, so i’m guessing you had a rough day too, huh?
  • yeah, hi, i’m petrified of sharks but i want to see the rest of the aquarium so do you think you could guide me through while i keep my eyes closed??? 
  • i work at the information booth and you literally just came up to me and talked to me for a solid forty minutes about how we should use jellyfish to conduct electricity… and the worst part is, i’m kind of onboard. 
  • “can we buy an aquarium?”
    “no.”
    “please?”
    “…i’ll think about it.”
  • “i feel really bad, this was meant to be a date but i just spent the whole time looking at the fish, that must’ve been really boring for you; sorry.”
    “who ever said i was complaining?”
  • “hey…do you think i could go all dory on this and speak whale?”
    “we’re in a public place, please don’t.”
    “too late! hIIiI theRe!”
    “i can’t believe it but i think it’s actually working.”
    • “and that’s the story of how we got kicked out the aquarium”
  • Finding Nemo: In Real Life
  • you tried to pet the fish and surprise the fish didn’t like it and they bit you, so now i’m currently giving you first aid whilst at the same time trying to calm you down. what an unforgettable first date this is huh.
    • (alternatively) we were at the petting pool and we went to go pet the fish before we left, i noticed that once we were out of the aquarium there was a massive stain on the front of your shirt..
      • “did you seriously just steal a fish? it’ll die.”
        “don’t worry! it’s in a bag of water of course. how stupid do you think i am?”
        “how did you- when did you- why - you know what, i’m not even gonna bother.”

- jess

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some choice quotes from band camp 2k16

“There are a ton of French horns here.” “One of my friends plays French horn.” “I’m sorry.”

“Like, what was the guy who invented bagpipes REALLY trying to do?”

“I want everyone to go around the circle and say why they signed up for this improv class.” “Well our jazz band’s bass trombonist just graduated and I want to rise up and crush his legacy.”

“To play tuba you need to breath like a fat German man.”

“There are 7 bassoons. Why are there so many? There should be, like, -1 bassoons.”

*talks to a pinwheel* “It’s laughing at you because you aren’t playing with enough air.”

“Dude, this sousaphone is bigger than your future.”

“Hey kids wanna buy some reeds?”

*teaches the entire trombone section the When Mama Isn’t Home song*

“This is a church piece, not like hamburgers and brats.”

*entire tuba section stands in a circle and discusses astrophysics when they should be warming up*

“DUDE a bassoon would make a SWEET bong!”

*attempts to use a lightsaber as a mute*

“Alright, tubas, just blow into your mouthpiece.” *literally every tuba player just screams into their mouthpiece*

*percussion director keeps using the word “lit”*

“Dude, you look like you’re going to go mug someone, but like… A classy mugging.”

*tuba counsellor pulls all the tubas off to the side to take a pre-concert selfie while on stage*

A Swedish paper recently published a letter to the press from a person who was critical to the police chasing sex buyers (implying it is unfair that women selling sex aren’t punished; in Sweden it’s illegal to buy sex but not to sell, fortunately). The letter read: “Why should men who are incapable of luring women to free sex be forced to live in celibacy? Why should the men be punished but not the women? Do we have to force the men to go to Thailand or Germany to have their sexual needs satisfied?”.

The writer basically answered their own questions, I’d say, and this is something we should never deny to ourselves: many men believe sex is a human right - for men -, and believe they have the right to get it at the expense of women. Because prostitution is for most women a kind of exploitation, the exchange of money creates a power relation which negates consent from the selling person’s side, and the men who buy sex have absolutely no interest in what it’s like for them. That these men can’t “lure women to free sex” really should tell them something, and really reveal the involuntary nature of prostitution. This person is making an ultimatum, saying that if they won’t be allowed to buy sex in Sweden they will have to go to countries in which many women are even more vulnerable and exposed to situations that make selling sex even less of a “choice” (the trafficking rates in Germany rose when they made prostitution legal; in Sweden where buying sex is illegal they have not). I’m disgusted at this kind of thinking, at that it is enforced by people who seriously prioritize men’s imagined “right” to have sex over women’s safety and integrity. No, men are never “forced” to buy sex. They choose it, despite all the information out there about the vulnerable situation for women in prostitution and the studies that show that 9 in 10 women in prostitution want to get out. The choose to exploit women and reinforce the objectification of women. It’s unforgivable.

Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."

anonymous asked:

how would the da2 companions react to hearing that hawke has a favorite companion, but wont say who it is?

Varric: The perennial younger sibling, Varric has played this game before. He knows the sort of infighting and shenanigans that Hawke is trying to sow, and it won’t work on him.

Besides, everyone knows he’s the favorite.

Isabela: She should know better. She really really should, and yet…Damn it, she is everyone’s favorite! Why won’t Hawke come out and say it?! Though it stings her pride she sets about securing her throne, buying the occasional round -only for Hawke- and going out of her way to make sure they win the occasional hand at Wicked Grace. Low tactics, perhaps, but the Pirate Queen refuses to be denied.

Merill: Oh, how exciting. She hopes whoever it is enjoys the honor, and deep down hopes it’s her.

Fenris: Fasta Vass, he has no time for child’s play like this. There are slavers to hunt and demons to kill and the abomination in Darktown to keep an eye out for. All of these things take priority over stalking the Champion to ensure that he doesn’t favor one of his other companions over the elf. Which means that Hawke had better announce that it is Fenris sooner rather than later– he is tried of sleeping in the garden.

Anders: It has to be him, right? Hawke hasn’t turned him into the Templars, helps around the clinic, takes him out to fight and heal on the regular. It would be an injustice not to choose him! What other mortals could earn so great a spot as Hawke’s favored companion than the mage upon whom he receives healing.

Sebastian: The Maker loves all his children equally, and Sebastian is confident that Hawke feels the same way about the other companions. But they spend time in the Chantry together and Hawke helped avenge his family, and sometimes the Champion smiles at him, so surely he is the favorite.

Carver: Yeah, he’s been the victim of this game for 18 years. Spoiler alert: it’s the mabari.

Bethany: Like Carver she has played this game several times, but unlike her brother she is not bitter. She jut helps Varric run the betting ring.

Aveline: It’s very simple, once she thinks about it. Hawke has known her the longest except for their sibling. They help her with the guard duties frequently, and put up with her bumy courtship with Donnic. No one does all that for anyone less than their favorite friend.

And surely it can’t be the pirate harlot. Right?

– Mod Fereldone 

Catcalling- Tyler Seguin

Originally posted by tyler91seguin

Ok so I had my pick of three players, but I have another Auston one tonight and Dylan would choke on his tongue first I think… so you guys get Seggy! Hope that’s ok! Enjoy!

Warning: Tyler Paul Seguin (he really is a warning), one cuss word

Anon Request: Hi can you please write an Auston Matthews, Dylan Larkin or Tyler Seguin imagine about you and he going to Subway to order some lunch and while you are waiting in line you ask him what he wants and he says that ass! Can you please make it fun and cute thank you!

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              All you wanted was some freaking lunch.

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andy-quick  asked:

Hey! Could you do one where the reader is dating Tim and whenever she visits the manor, Damian clings to her because he has this huge crush on her and basically just Damian sneaking in between the Tim and reader's fluff? Thanks! Love ya! ✨

Hi, sorry for the long wait! I feel like I diverted a lot from what you wanted… but nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy this!


The moment Damian hears the front door open and Pennyworth’s voice greeting you, he casually gets off the sofa he had been laying on and walks out from the living room, just in time to see you. The smile on your face when you see him is very bright – he feels smug about it – and you pad towards him.

“Hello, Damian.” You wrap your arms around him and Damian smiles in to the hug before wrapping his own arms around you too. If this was somebody else, Damian would have hiss and scowl at them, before threatening to take off their hands permanently for even thinking about touching him. “How are you?”

Damian pulls away to answer your question. “To pass time I read a few books just now.” In other words, he had been bored while waiting for you to arrive. You knew Damian well enough to understand his roundabout way of telling you about his feelings honestly. You laugh warmly at that.

“Can you show me what you read? I finished the book you recommended a week ago and now I am itching to get another book.” You tell him excitedly – surprisingly (though by this point, you really should not be surprised by anything Tim’s family procures) Damian has some really good tastes in books.

Damian huffs his chest with pride and nods his head. “Of course – we should go to the library! Father managed to buy me a few more books too. I think you might quite enjoy the new readings as well.” You nod your head and glance at Alfred who is watching the exchanged with bemused eyes. You wave your hand at him and he nods his head at you. The two of you left for the library, with you forgetting the first reason you came to the manor.

That is how Tim finds you a good half an hour later. You were supposed to meet up with him so the two of you can spend some time together and then have hi-tea but when you did not come knocking on his door the moment you texted him you had arrived, that is when he knew something was up.

This lead to him leaving his bedroom to look for you. He had been about to go to the garden – because that is also one of the places you like to go to whenever you visit the manor – when Alfred had kindly led him to the library, keeping a small smile on his face when Tim finally realizes just who had taken away all of your attention.

The moment you spy him though, all of his worries, bubbling annoyance and little tinge of jealousy disappear because the smile on your face looks incredibly bright and there is just something about the way you look at him that made him extremely happy. “Tim!”

Damian shoots him a glare and Tim does his best to ignore the youngest Wayne and heads to his girlfriend instead. He presses a kiss at the top of your head before putting an arm around you, sneakily giving Damian a smirk. He can see Damian gritting his teeth before picking another book to give to you.

Your attention is immediately back on Damian. “Oh, I have heard great reviews about this one; are you sure it is alright for me to be borrowing this much?” You look away from the book Damian handed to you to the growing pile of books. You are so going to have your hands full for the upcoming weeks.

“Tt.” Damian nods his head affirmatively. “Of course – father would not mind and Drake certainly would not stop you from reading.” Damian looks at your boyfriend. “He knows how much you love to read.” He smirks knowing how he had just effectively cut short any possible interactions he would have with you.

This was probably one of the reasons why Tim and you got so well together. You were obsessed with reading books, books in general just as much as he is with his work and his technology.

You laugh. “Thank you, Damian; I will make sure to return all of them in one piece.” You tell him as you gather the books in to your arms. Tim, seeing how you are struggling with the amount of books, took a couple with him. “Thank you, Tim.” You press a kiss close to Tim’s mouth.

“Should we ask Alfred to make a few sandwiches and head to the gardens?” Tim asks you as he stare at you. You smile brightly and nod your head. “The weather is really good too. Come on.”

Damian huffs and crosses his arms quietly. He knows your time with him is coming to an end.

You turn to look at Damian and smile before ruffling his hair with your free hand. “Thank you for this, Damian! Come see me later before I leave yeah?” You tell him and when he smiles at you, you grin back at him happily. Damian is such an adorable little kid; really makes you miss your own little brothers.

Tim wraps his arm around your waist and pull you closer to him, sticking his tongue out cheekily at Damian.

“Tim, love, stop aggravating Damian and let’s go.” You swat playfully at your boyfriend – it’s not like you were unaware of this weird rivalry the two of them have got going. You just choose to ignore it most of the time.

seareyes  asked:

So for the meetcute prompts could you do number 7 please? 💖

This was so much fun! Thanks for the prompt! And, as always, also on ao3!

Truth be told, Derek had never actually kissed anyone before. Not really.

Sure, he had kissed Paige on the cheek once or twice back in their sophomore year, kissing her farewell when he dropped her off back home after one of their handful of dates. And he might have kissed the back of her hand while asking if she wanted to dance at the winter formal, but that was all.

They had only gone out a few times, gone to a few dances together, but that was before she had officially come out. A few days before winter break, she had sat Derek down and explained that while she’d had a really nice time with him on their dates and at the dances, she was one hundred percent into girls not guys.

Derek had done everything he could to be supportive, hugging her and thanking her for feeling comfortable enough to share something so personal with him, even offering to throw her a coming out party. She had declined, but shortly afterwards she had started dating his younger sister, Cora.

So, he and Paige had never really kissed. And he had never gone out with anyone else after Paige, either, preferring to focus on his schoolwork. He put all of his effort into maintaining his spotless GPA and honing his skills for the basketball team, hoping to be team captain one day.

Besides, he constantly had to worry about keeping the fact that he was a werewolf hidden so as not to draw any unwanted attention from hunters or worse. And so as much as his friends teased him about being an asocial nerd, dating and kissing just weren’t that high on his list of priorities.

Which was why he was still upset with himself for letting Erica and Isaac drag him to some raucous party at Jackson Whittemore’s palatial house. On a school night, no less!

With Boyd out of town visiting family in New York, Erica was without a ride to the wild party, the same one she and Isaac had been talking about nonstop for weeks. Derek being the only other person in their little group of friends with a car, the sleek black Camaro that Laura had passed down to him when she had left for Princeton his freshman year, the scheming duo had turned to him for a ride.

He was helpless to deny them, especially when they both gave him their best puppy dog eyes. How Boyd managed to resist giving Erica whatever she wanted when she jut out her bottom lip and batted her eyelashes oh so innocently, Derek would never know. So, he agreed to drive them to the party, Erica’s promise that Stiles would be at the party perhaps influencing his decision a bit, too. Just maybe.

Because while dating wasn’t very high up on his lift of to-dos and kissing wasn’t something he dedicated himself to pursuing, it didn’t mean he never thought about them. He did. Quite often, as a matter of fact. And the person starring most prominently in his little daydreams and half-baked fantasies he usually reserved for late at night when he couldn’t sleep, was none other than Stiles Stilinski.

Stiles was infectious. Not in a bad way, it was just that everything about him was positively contagious. His enthusiasm, his laughter, his sometimes twisted sense of humor, even his unique way of looking at the world around himself. It was all just contagious.

Derek didn’t know a single person who didn’t laugh when Stiles made some kind of horrendous yet clever pun about whatever time period they were studying in history of whatever formula they were going over in calculus. Even people who, somehow, didn’t like Stiles always cracked a smile at his well placed one liners and sly innuendos.

Except Mr. Harris. But Derek was pretty sure he didn’t have a soul so he didn’t really count.

Stiles was like a ray of sunshine, ushering forth light and warmth to brighten up even the gloomiest day when he strolled into class fashionably late and took a seat in the front row. He never failed to make Derek’s day just a little bit better, whether it be with an offhand joke or a conspiratorial wink in his direction, or even just a smile or wave in greeting when they passed each other in the hallway.

And he was just so genuinely nice, it almost hurt.

He always asked people about how their day was going and actually listened when they answered, sometimes just sitting with someone he barely knew and letting them rant about school or their family or their favorite TV show. When someone was upset, he would just wrap them up in a tight hug or squeeze their shoulder, tell them that he was there if they ever needed someone to talk to.

He never let any bullying go unnoticed, sometimes charging right up to the perpetrator just to divert attention away from whoever was being bullied. He had ended up with his own fair share of black eyes and bloody noses for his troubles, serving weeks worth of time in detention, but it never stopped him.

A few years ago, he had actually smashed Matt Daehler’s phone when the little creep had recorded a video of Erica having an epileptic seizure. Stiles had wrenched the phone out of Matt’s hand and slammed it onto the ground before stomping on it a few times for good measure as he directed his friend Scott to call the nurse.

He was caring and considerate, alway carrying an extra inhaler in case Scott had an asthma attack, keeping an Epipen on hand should anyone have an allergic reaction, his backpack stocked with pads and tampons for people who unexpectedly had their period. He even carried different sized condoms around so no one had unprotected sex if they were too embarrassed to go out and buy their own, giving them away without charging anyone.

Stiles was amazing. And Derek really, really wanted to kiss him.

So, when he saw Stiles sitting down in the circle of people gathering in the living room to play spin the bottle, he threw caution to the wind and took a seat directly across from him. He could feel his ears burn at the curious looks he received from the rest of the people in the makeshift circle, Stiles cocking his head to the side as he scanned his eyes over Derek in blatant curiosity.

Keep reading

The Other Monday Couple (Luhan)

Originally posted by 7thvelvet

Type: Fluff

Request: Can I request a Luhan scenario (I miss him so much.) where in you’re a new member in Running Man China and he always teams up with you so you two can protect each other and win please ? Thank you.

~p.s I really don’t know too much about the Chinese version of the show~


You had known Luhan since you were in Korea. As an original member of the South Korean hit Running Man many people were shocked to hear you were departing the show after roughly 7 years. You cried as you had been with them since you were about 17 and they became like older siblings to you and treated you like a baby because you were only 24. You love being on the show and meeting idols and working with the cast but like many things it was no longer your calling to be on Korea’s Running Man. Fir some reason you had actually became a rather popular guest on the Chinese version of Running Man. You were told your humor and charming looks and personality won the people over. Your former cast were accepting of the fact you needed a changing of scenery and you promised to come back every now and again for them as a special guest. They even joked before you left you were leaving them for Luhan.

Since you joined the show a joke had become that you and Luhan were more than just teammates. Neither you or Luhan accepted or denied the rumors of an actual relationship between the two of you because even in Korea there were rumors about you guys. You had proclaimed when the OT12 were on the orginal Running Man, you were going to get Lu, but you meant it as his nametag but it sounded as if you were hunting down the love of your life. After you two had ripped one another’s names off at the same time and the show decided to have both of you out. Since then you two had been close. And from that moment on you were teased for your love of Luhan. So to you, you always compared yourself to the once Monday Couple of the original series. But there was a difference because there really was a real affection between you and Han that they didn’t have.

~

As soon as you guys started Luhan grabbed your arm and didn’t even need to ask to work together. “So if we’re the last two left this time. And we have to eliminate one another who gets out this time?” he asked as you sigh. “Are you going to buy me dinner?” you ask him “you always want food” he says “damn right I do” you tell him “you should know food is my only reason to live” “my love should be as well” he jokes as you roll your eyes hitting him lightly. “Let me win I’ll take you on a wonderful date” he offered. “I want a movie and a massage” “I can do that too” he told you as you shook on it.

~

Luhan smiled as he ripped the final name tag looking at you. After nearly two hours of runnign around you guys were finally finished, well almost. Luhan still had to get your tag to win. You managed to rip one off but Luhan had gotten the rest. He went to give you a hug in victory but you surprised him with a light kiss on the lips, you could hear the dorky music already and the fake bright blush they would put on his face after ‘his other half’ gave him a kiss. He stood there for a moment before he felt a rip as you tugged his nametag off. You jumped up and down in victory as Luhan was still in shock. “I actually won one” you say happily holding up his tag in victory before winking at the camera giving it your normal charms. “Did you actually kiss him?” Zulan asked in shock at the random affection he saw from a distance. Everyone started yelling as you just laughed “did I Lu?” you asked “that’s for me to know and no one to find out” he says as he tried to be cool about what you did.

Once you were done filming Luhan had grabbed your arm “you kissed me on TV” he stated. “Yeah” you tell him. “I didn’t think you would want to be public like that” he states. He looked around as he pulled you into a more private area, he quickly smiled leaning in and placing a solid kiss onto your lips. “There’s gonna be so much posted about us now” he laughed. “You mean more than the article of us entering and leaving a hotel together?” you ask as you guys start heading out of the building happily. “We should go public” he states “yeah?” “I want to hold your hand in public and not when we’re running away” he states as you simply reach over and grab ahold of his hand.

~

Your relationship with Luhan had gone public and your cast members were glad to have a true answer about how you two were. “That’s why they work together. So they don’t feel guilty” Chenhe teased “I never feel guilty for beating Luhan in things” you tell him. “I want to win and my affections hold no merit” you continue to babble. “And that’s why you’re on separate teams” Angelbaby exclaimed as she grabbed your shoulders, you knew the teasing was just beginning.