You know what continues to fuck me up? Robert’s casual hatred of himself. When he said it to Aaron during the reveal, it was like well yeah of course you do. Look what you did. How could you not really? But it’s so much more than that.
It’s the way he said it today. “Basically be less Robert.” As if the greatest advice he can give anybody is to be less like him. Cause all he does is fuck up and hurt people. He sees himself as someone who simply ruins lives. Not just his own, but the lives of the people he loves the most.
Or the day he and Aaron were going to leave for good and he gave Rebecca money and a picture of Jack. Saying he wanted his kid to have something that was truly important to him. I mean he didn’t even give her a picture of himself. Just his dad.
After all that had happened between them. After Jack had turned him away. After he refused to or simply couldn’t love and accept Robert for who he really was, he still saw his dad as the person you should aspire to be. He still considered himself the failure. He just wasn’t good enough. It was somehow his fault he wasn’t worth being loved unconditionally by his own dad.
Imagine carrying that burden around for half your life. Like it’s so ingrained in him that he doesn’t even consider it anymore. It’s just don’t be like me. Be anything else.