who needs social skills when you can talk to yourself right

venus

ARIES

You are direct and go after what you want.  No one usually has to guess what you feel or who interests you!  You are a born leader and a great social spark plug who gets things moving with both friends and strangers.  You probably like kung fu movies and red cars.  You are often first to express affection but sometimes you are too obvious or pushy.  You may need to be more subtle and tactful to get what you want.  You fall in love quickly, and can fall out of love just as quickly.  You need to learn patience in love.  When you mature, you can be very devoted.  You anger easily, but when you express your feelings right away and move on, you are one of the quickest Venus signs to forgive.
What you have to give: Enthusiasm
What you need to learn most: Cooperation
Famous people with Venus in Aries: Shakira, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Keira Knightley

TAURUS
Relax… yours is one of the naturally smart Venus placements.  If you’re not too lazy, that is. You enjoy the simple pleasures of life – a warm place to live, soft bed, tasty food, and a big easy chair to nap in.  If you can enjoy any of these comforts in pleasant outdoor surroundings, so much the better.  You like nature, appreciate music and art, and want good quality in the things that you buy.  You are loyal and reliable but may need to make sure your relationships don’t get stale out of habit.  Your best approach is to draw people to you with your quiet strength rather than racing out after them.  You are often the calm in the center of the storm, someone your friends can count on. Avoid treating people as possessions or only liking them for their “stuff.”.
What you have to give: Stability
What you need to learn most: Change can be good!
Famous people with Venus in Taurus: Jessica Alba, Lana Del Rey, Johnny Depp, Kanye West

GEMINI
You have one of the more difficult Venus placements because it’s hard for you to make up your mind about what you want.  No one thing holds your interest for very long.  You are quite curious, and enjoy finding out details about people you meet every day.  You would make a good tour guide or teacher as you love learning and sharing information.  Variety is very important to you and you may have friends from many different groups at school.  Sometimes you may talk about people just to release tension.  The next time you start to do that, ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to say really necessary?”  You are naturally funny and your sense of humor attracts people to you.  Learn to keep your attention focused on the person you’re with, and develop a few relationships more deeply rather than scattering your attention
What you have to give:  A playful spirit
What you need to learn most: Nothing grows well without time and attention.
Famous people with Venus in Gemini: Jennifer Lopez, Megan Fox, Uma Thurman, Sandra Bullock

CANCER
You are sweet and sentimental and you hope for a happy home and family life.  Your moods go up and down and you can be insecure, often seeking reassurance from those you love.  You are fiercely protective of people and places that mean a lot to you, like a bear protecting her cubs.  Sometimes you want to be babied, and that’s okay!  But, since Cancer is the “mother” sign of the zodiac, you also have a tendency to take care of others (feeding, giving advice, finding lost things, etc.) and may sometimes need to let people do things for themselves.  You enjoy spending time at home or in the homes of your friends rather than going out a lot.  You can probably learn a lot from your relatives, especially your grandparents.  You can be easily hurt in love and must be careful about choosing the people with whom you share your heart.
What you have to give: Emotional closeness
What you need to learn most: Real security comes from inside.
Famous people with Venus in Cancer: Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Natalie Portman, Halle Barry

LEO
You are a passionate person with a great wish to be noticed and appreciated.  You are very generous and want to find warmth and beauty in the lives of your friends and loved ones.  Though you can be dramatic and tend to exaggerate, you have a great capacity for devotion.  It’s a good idea for you to have some area in life where you can be a “star,” whether through drama, sports, or teaching younger children.  Dating was probably invented with you in mind, as you love romance and are very creative in thinking of new places to go and things to try.  Remember to get to know the actual person you date, rather than a vision of that person that may seem real to you, but is really only your fantasy.
What you have to give: Confidence
What you need to learn most: Humility
Famous people with Venus in Leo: Selena Gomez, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Amy Winehouse

VIRGO
You are often shy, and may find it hard to make friends.  Sometimes you are critical of yourself, and avoid people because you fear criticism from others.  Other people aren’t nearly as likely to notice your flaws as you are.  You often try to figure your relationships out, as if you could take them apart piece by piece.  Try being more relaxed about them and see what happens.  You are neat and orderly and like people who have good math, computer or “fix-it” skills.  You can be quite happy keeping yourself company with your friends and projects.  Don’t let people pressure you into a dating scene if you are not ready for it.  Sometimes your desire for perfection in relationships can lead you avoid them entirely or to settle for anyone.  Keep your standards high, but realize that no one is perfect.
What you have to give: Modesty
What you need to learn most: Not to worry
Famous people with Venus in Virgo: Gwen Stefani, Kim Kardashian, Eminem, Robin Williams

LIBRA
You have the potential to have great relationships.  You have a natural ability to cooperate, and you usually demonstrate grace and fairness in your interactions with others.  Your Venus is at the balancing point halfway through the zodiac.  This makes you a good peacemaker between your friends.  You could be a good attorney, artist, or salesperson by using your ability to negotiate, your love of beauty and balance, and your charm.  You like music and art, and find ugliness in any form quite irritating.  On the down side, sometimes it is hard for you to know what you think or feel without asking other people.  You need to try to develop opinions and standards of your own.
What you have to give: Companionship
What you need to learn most: Not caring quite as much what other people think
Famous people with Venus in Libra: Beyoncé, Freddie Mercury, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone

SCORPIO
With Venus in Scorpio you have special responsibilities.  You have strong desires and must direct them toward your highest goals for best results.  You are passionate and intense in your relationships.  In fact, sometimes you might secretly enjoy creating a big crisis in your life just so you can fix or clean it up!  You have a strong influence on others for good or bad, and should try to use your healing (constructive) rather than mean (destructive) tendencies.  You are good at keeping secrets, but you can be jealous and controlling at times.  You are likely to learn a lot through your sexual experiences.  You tend to rush into these when it might be better to stand back and get to know a person in other ways beforehand.  You can also help others learn how to use their sexuality wisely.  Your anger can seem invisible to others until the day it boils over, so try to let off a little bit of steam at a time.
What you have to give: Intensity
What you need to learn most: How to lighten up, how to let people be free
Famous people with Venus in Scorpio: Avril Lavigne, Jay-Z, Leonardo DiCaprio, Drake

SAGITTARIUS
You are happy-go-lucky and optimistic about love.  You see life as a great adventure and you need the people you love to allow you freedom to travel, either in reality or in your mind.  You usually have strong beliefs that guide your life, but sometimes you throw caution to the wind a little too easily!  You freely share your feelings, and can sometimes hurt people by your directness.  You probably are happiest in relationships with people who share your philosophy of life.  You need to get away from it all from time to time, to get a bigger picture of what is going on in your life.  Going up high on a nearby mountain can help you clear your mind.  You may have talents in sports or religion and have friends from many different countries or backgrounds.  You believe the best about people, but sometimes you overlook their deepest needs.
What you have to give: Adventure
What you need to learn most: How to pay attention to little things
Famous people with Venus in Sagittarius: Nicki Minaj, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry, David Bowie

CAPRICORN
You are reliable, serious, and tend to follow through on what you say you will do.  You see love as an investment, something you are careful to choose wisely about, because you want it to last.  You may have had a difficult early family life, in which not much affection was displayed.  For some of you, it may take longer than it does for your friends to meet that true love, and you may encounter frustrating disappointments or delays.  Since Capricorn relates to the principle of TIME, you can benefit from making the most of yourself and focusing on your own goals so you will be prepared when the right partner for you does arrive.  You are more sensible than many in love, and can be honest with those you care about regarding what is really going on.  You tend to learn from your love experiences, unlike some who keep repeating them again and again.  You also can be fearful, however.  Watch to see if you turn down perfectly good opportunities that come up.  You have more walls up that others, sometimes for good reason.  Your challenge is letting those walls down with people you can trust.
What you have to give: Reliability
What you need to learn most: Some people can be trusted
Famous people with Venus in Capricorn: Scarlett Johansson, Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt, Britney Spears

AQUARIUS
You are a little strange, if I may say so!  Actually, what I mean is that you enjoy the offbeat, unique and different in life.  You like computers, technology and revolutionary ideas.  You enjoy trying new things and meeting unusual people, and accept almost anyone without judgment.  One of your great gifts is the ability to set other people free in a way that many Venus signs find difficult.  You see a person you love not as someone to be owned (sometimes a Venus in Taurus problem), or put on a pedestal (sometimes a Venus in Leo problem), or only merged with sexually (sometimes a Venus in Scorpio problem), but as a unique friend valuable in his or her own right.  On the down side, sometimes you keep a distance in your relationships that others find frustrating.  They may want to feel more special or singled out, whereas you enjoy having a more detached kind of connection.  Sometimes you can be too cold, and break connections off with people too suddenly.  But you can be a great friend, especially for someone going through a heartache or breakup in love.
What you have to give: Independence
What you need to learn most: Romance and devotion
Famous people with Venus in Aquarius: Taylor Swift, Ashton Kutcher, Harry Styles, Kate Moss

PISCES
You are oh so sweet and usually very kind.  You love for love’s sake, not for popularity, money, security, or any other reason.  Since you are so caring, you are almost never as concerned with what people can do for you as with what you can do for them.  You can easily put yourself in other people’s shoes and feel what their lives must be like.  You enjoy giving and receiving romantic expressions of affection, such as flowers, poetry, and music, especially if you have created these yourself.  You daydream a lot and may need to make sure you see the people you love realistically.  Sometimes you would rather dream about love than make it happen!  You also need to watch a tendency to be taken advantage of by people who aren’t as nice as you are.  Some of you may be the more sneaky Pisces types, who need to learn to be direct and honest.  You like quiet, soothing places, and being near water can be enjoyable for you.
What you have to give: Peace
What you need to learn most: Persistence
Famous people with Venus in Pisces: Kurt Cobain, Justin Bieber, Emma Watson, Penélope Cruz

On trauma aftermaths that don't advance the plot

The way TV shows trauma can lead people to expect every reference to trauma to be a plot point. This can be isolating to people coping with the aftermaths of trauma. Sometimes people treat us as stories rather than as people. Sometimes, instead of listening to us, they put a lot of pressure on us to advance the plot they’re expecting.

On TV, triggers tend to be full audiovisual flashbacks that add something to the story. You see a vivid window into the character’s past, and something changes. On TV, trauma aftermaths are usually fascinating. Real life trauma aftermaths are sometimes interesting, but also tend to be very boring to live with.

On TV, triggers tend to create insight. In real life, they’re often boring intrusions interfering with the things you’d rather be thinking about. Sometimes knowing darn well where they come from doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes it’s more like: Seriously? This again?

On TV, when trauma is mentioned, it’s usually a dramatic plot point that happens in a moment. In real life, trauma aftermaths are a mundane day-to-day reality that people live with. They’re a fact of life — and not necessarily the most important one at all times. People who have experienced trauma do other things too. They’re important, but not the one and only defining characteristic of who someone is. And things that happened stay important even when you’re ok. Recovery is not a reset. Mentioning the past doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in crisis.

On TV, when a character mentions trauma, or gets triggered in front of someone, it’s usually a dramatic moment. It changes their life, or their relationship with another character, or explains their backstory, or something. In real life, being triggered isn’t always a story, and telling isn’t always a turning point. Sometimes it’s just mentioning something that happened to be relevant. Sometimes it’s just a mundane instance of something that happens from time to time.

Most people can’t have a dramatic transformative experience every time it turns out that their trauma matters. Transformative experiences and moments of revelation exist, but they’re not the end all and be all of trauma aftermaths. Life goes on, and other things matter too. And understanding what a reaction means and where it came from doesn’t always make it go away. Sometimes, it takes longer and has more to do with skill-building than introspection. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.

On a day to day level, it’s often better to be matter-of-fact about aftermaths. It can be exhausting when people see you as a story and expect you to advance the plot whenever they notice some effect of trauma. Pressure to perform narratives about healing doesn’t often help people to make their lives better. Effect support involves respecting someone as a complex human, including the boring parts.

The aftermath of trauma is a day-to-day reality. It affects a lot of things, large and small. It can be things like being too tired to focus well in class because nightmares kept waking you up every night this week. TV wants that to be a dramatic moment where the character faces their past and gets better. In real life, it’s often a day where you just do your best to try and learn algebra anyway. Because survivors do things besides be traumatized and think about trauma. Sometimes it’s not a story. Sometimes it’s just getting through another day as well as possible.

A lot of triggers are things like being unable to concentrate on anything interesting because some kinds of background noises make you feel too unsafe to pay attention to anything else. For the zillionth time.  Even though you know rationally that they’re not dangerous. Even though you know where they come from, and have processed it over and over. Even if you’ve made a lot of progress in dealing with them, even if they’re no longer bothersome all the time. For most people, recovery involves a lot more than insight. The backstory might be interesting, but being tired and unable to concentrate is boring.

Triggers can also mean having to leave an event and walk home by yourself while other people are having fun, because it turns out that it hurts too much to be around pies and cakes. Or having trouble finding anything interesting to read that isn’t intolerably triggering. Or having trouble interacting with new people because you’re too scared or there are too many minefields. Or being so hypervigilant that it’s hard to focus on anything. No matter how interesting the backstory is, feeling disconnected and missing out on things you wanted to enjoy is usually boring.

When others want to see your trauma as a story, their expectations sometimes expand to fill all available space. Sometimes they seem to want everything to be therapy, or want everything to be about trauma and recovery.

When others want every reference to trauma to be the opening to a transformative experience, it can be really hard to talk about accommodations. For instance, it gets hard to say things like:

  • “I’m really tired because of nightmares” or 
  • “I would love to go to that event, but I might need to leave because of the ways in which that kind of thing can be triggering” or 
  • “I’m glad I came, but I can’t handle this right now” or
  • “I’m freaking out now, but I’ll be ok in a few minutes” or 
  • “I need to step out — can you text me when they stop playing this movie?”

It can also be hard to mention relevant experiences. There are a lot of reasons to mention experiences other than wanting to process, eg:

  • “Actually, I have experience dealing with that agency”
  • “That’s not what happens when people go to the police, in my experience, what happens when you need to make a police report is…”
  • “Please keep in mind that this isn’t hypothetical for me, and may not be for others in the room as well.”

Or any number of other things.

When people are expecting a certain kind of story, they sometimes look past the actual person. And when everyone is looking past you in search of a story, it can be very hard to make connections.

It helps to realize that no matter what others think, your story belongs to you. You don’t have to play out other people’s narrative expectations. It’s ok if your story isn’t what others want it to be. It’s ok not to be interesting. It’s ok to have trauma reactions that don’t advance the plot. And there are people who understand that, and even more people who can learn to understand that.

It’s possible to live a good life in the aftermath of trauma. It’s possible to relearn how to be interested in things. It’s possible to build space you can function in, and to build up your ability to function in more spaces. It’s often possible to get over triggers. All of this can take a lot of time and work, and can be a slow process. It doesn’t always make for a good story, and it doesn’t always play out the way others would like it to. And, it’s your own personal private business. Other people’s concern or curiosity does not obligate you to share details.

Survivors and victims have the right to be boring. We have the right to deal with trauma aftermaths in a matter-of-fact way, without indulging other people’s desires for plot twists. We have the right to own our own stories, and to keep things private. We have the right to have things in our lives that are not therapy; we have the right to needed accommodations without detailing what happened and what recovery looks like. Neither traumatic experiences nor trauma aftermaths erase our humanity.

We are not stories, and we have no obligation to advance an expected plot. We are people, and we have the right to be treated as people. Our lives, and our stories, are our own.

anonymous asked:

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

Money

Health

Emergency

Job

Travel

Better You

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Education

Finances

Job Hunting

Life Skills

Miscellaneous

Relationships

Travel & Vehicles


Other Blog Features

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Adult Cheat Sheet:

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

  • wishing to live independently
  • location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
  • conflict with your parents
  • being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

  • Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
  • Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
  • Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

  • They may worry that you are not ready.
  • They may be sad because they will miss you.
  • They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
  • They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

  • Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
  • Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
  • Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
  • Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
  • Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
  • Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

  • Your doctor
  • Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
  • Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
  • Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
  • Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
  • Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
  • Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

  • Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
  • Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
  • Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

Halloween

Summary: Nat and Wanda trick you into going to a Halloween party at the Stark Tower.

Warnings: smut- oral (receiving), penetration; fluff

A/N: Wrote this to get out of my writer’s block. I hope you like it!


“Fuck!” Nat yanked the strings tighter and you gasped for air. “I know I wanted to wear a corset for Halloween but-”

“Authentication is the key.” She helped you straighten. “And look at how great your breasts look.” 

“They do look pretty great.” You admired yourself in the mirror, running your hands down your torso and enjoying the feeling of the leather under your fingertips. “So…are you finally going to tell me who’s going to be at this party?”

“Nope, it’s a secret.” Nat chuckled as she adjusted her hair and makeup. “Don’t worry, you’re going to have fun.”

“You’re in for some serious hell if you’re lying to me.” You pointed at her and slipped into your leggings. “Why do I have to be a sexy cat? Why can’t I be like Victorian royalty?” 

“Because last time you were drunk you let it slip that you’ve always wanted to dress up as one.” Wanda slipped into the room grinning. “I told Nat and she helped me get the costume, now let’s go.” 

Keep reading

Creating Dynamic Characters That Feel Real

Despite what people may have led you to believe, the plot or structure is not the most important thing about your story–whether it’s a screenplay, short story, novel. That’s not what makes the story real and important. That’s not why your readers care.

Characters are the most important part of your story. Without them, you have nothing. Your story is nothing.

If you want your readers to find your story complex, compelling, and dynamic, then your characters have to be complex, compelling, and dynamic. You’re thinking, “Oh, that’s easy. I’ve already done that.” Your babies are complicated. They’re beautiful but damaged. Intelligent but socially awkward. They want to be an astronaut; they want to save the world.

Sorry, but you’re full of shit.

Characters aren’t just characters, they’re real people, even if they only exist in ink and paper and your mind rather than in flesh and blood. They need to be as real to your readers as their mother, father, best friend, the person sitting next to them. Otherwise, you have failed. Flesh them out, bring them to life on the page.

Your characters are the heart and soul of your story, and you need to treat them as such. That is your job as a writer. And when you don’t do that, you not only fail your readers and your story, you not only do yourself a great disservice, but you also expose yourself. You reveal something to your readers that you don’t want them to know. As Claudia Hunter Johnson says in her book, Crafting Short Screenplays That Connect (which is an excellent book I recommend you all read), character creation is “an artistic and ethical issue.”

Repeat after me: It is an artistic and ethical issue.

Keep reading

Masterpost: Autism and Vocabulary

As a writer, we’re sure you are aware that words are important. You can’t always substitute one for another because they all have their own depth of meaning and their own subtleties. So if you want to write an autistic character, you’ll have to refer to autism using the right words. This post will help you do just that!

Autistic person? Person who has autism? Which one should I use?

This is a highly debated question. You might have heard “You have to say “person with autism” because you’re talking about a person first; the person is not defined by their disability!”. While this is a nice thought, it is largely misguided, and this way of talking are mainly used by non-autistic persons while talking about us. The autistic community doesn’t like this “person-first” language very much for several reasons.

First of all, if you need to use specific language to remind yourself that we are people, you may have a problem that no amount of linguistic workarounds can solve. We say “a French person”, not “a person who is French” or “a person with Frenchness”, because we don’t need to remind ourselves that French people are people. Why should it be different with autistic people?

The second reason most of us don’t like saying we are “persons with autism” is that our autism is not something that we carry with us. We are not a human person + a terrible disorder. We are fundamentally different. Being autistic is an integral part of who we are as people, and touches every sphere of our lives. If someone somehow managed to take away our autism, they wouldn’t reveal the “real us” that was hidden behind it: they would create a whole different person. We can’t be separated from our autism, and this should be reflected in the language you use while talking about us.

So ideally, you’ll want to use “autistic”, as an adjective: Cat is autistic, they are an autistic person. Some of us sometimes use “autistic” as a noun as a shortcut, when we’re tired of repeating “people” all the time, but it’s best to avoid it when you can, especially if you’re allistic.

What you really need to avoid is “a person with autism”, or heaven forbid “a person who happens to have autism”, “a person who suffers from autism”, “a person who lives with autism”, or any variation thereof. I’ve also seen a few people write “an autist”, but I don’t get why they do that. Please don’t do it.

And please don’t refer to us as being “on the spectrum,” we don’t need a euphemism to soften the blow of the word “autistic.” We are autistic! Even those who don’t seem disabled. Please remember that, while it is all too often misused in an insulting or pejorative way, “autistic” is not a bad word. Don’t be afraid to use it! In fact, using it more and in a positive way is the best way to stop it from being misused as a pejorative.

You keep using these words I don’t understand…

Alright, let’s get a glossary going! We’ll update this post whenever we use a word that could be hard to understand (if we can remember to do it…). If there is any word on the blog that you can’t understand, check if we’ve explained it here. If we haven’t, shoot us an ask and we’ll do it ASAP. :)
All of the titles are clickable and will take you to the corresponding tag so you can check out everything we’ve written about a subject.

AAC: Augmentative and Alternative Communication. Encompasses all means of communicating used by nonverbal people which are not spoken/sign language, such as using a text-to-speech device or a pictogram system to communicate.

ABA: Applied Behaviour Analysis, the most common type of “therapy” autistic children are subjected to. It can have lots of negative long-terms effects on the person’s life, such as PTSD or vulnerability to abuse.

Ableism: Treating disabled people (including autistic people) poorly because they are disabled.Treating someone differently because they behave in autistic ways, punishing autistic people for stimming, forcing nonverbal autistics to communicate verbally (and ignoring other types of communication), etc. are all examples of ableist behavior.

Alexithymia: Difficulty identifying one’s own emotions, very common in autistic people. They may not know how they feel at all, or simply unable to name their feelings. They are often unable to answer the question “How are you?” or “How are you feeling?” and may be aware only of whether they are feeling “good” or “bad” (and sometimes not even that).

Allistic: Someone who is not autistic. Used as an adjective and sometimes as a noun.

Asperger’s Syndrome: An outdated diagnostic term for an autistic person who is generally able to communicate verbally at a typical age and shows interest in social relationships. This is no longer considered to be a thing which exists. (See our masterpost on functioning labels.)

Autistic: Someone who is autistic (ie the subject of this whole blog) (I don’t know why we added that to the glossary)

Cure Culture / Curism: The attitude held by many allistic groups (most notably the hate group “Autism Speaks”) that autism is a disorder or disease which should be eliminated from the human race and place a priority on “curing” it. This is similar to the old belief that homosexuality is a disease that should be cured, and just as harmful to autistic people.

Disability: There are two main definitions to this word: 1- Not being able to do something that the majority of people are able to do. For example: hear (deaf), see (blind), smell (anosmic), walk (para/quadriplegic), etc.  2-Being impaired by a physical/mental difference in a way that restricts one’s professional, social, personal, or leisure activities. Depending on the definition and personal opinions, autistic people can be considered disabled or not disabled.

Dyspraxia: Difficulty with gross and/or fine motor skills, very common in autistic people. To a casual observer they may appear clumsy, often dropping things, walking into things, or tripping over their own feet (gross motor skills), or with poor handwriting, poor ability to hold a writing instrument, etc. (fine motor skills).

Echolalia: Use of verbal repetition to communicate, usually used by those who are not fully verbal. Words and phrases can be immediately repeated directly (“You OK?” “You OK.”), or with some changes (“Are you OK?” “I am okay.”). They can also come from memory (“Who gave you that?” [Darth Vader voice] “I am your father.” = my father).

Executive Dysfunction: Difficulty with executive functioning; skills used to make decisions and carry out tasks. Many autistic people have problems with this. They may be unable to make what appear to be simple decisions or figure out how to accomplish a simple goal. They may know exactly what they need to do but be unable to get their body to move to do it. It has been described via metaphors in a few ways: one is having all the ingredients to make a cake but no recipe, and being expected to make the cake, but having no idea how to do it. Another is that the body is like a horse and the brain is the rider, and the rider tries to get the horse to move, but it simply won’t budge.

Functioning Labels: Outdated and inaccurate (but sadly, still commonly used) labels for autistic people based on a narrow set of criteria. Those who don’t communicate verbally are normally considered “low-functioning”, for example, and those who can are “high-functioning”. See our masterpost for more information on why these labels are damaging and should not be used.

Hyperacusis: When a person is extremely sensitive to sound and the world sounds far louder to them than to others. It is often extremely painful, like having the volume on the world turned up way too high, and can be disabling. Many people with hyperacusis have or develop tinnitus (a constant sound, often ringing, usually caused by nerve damage in the ears).

Hyperempathy: Having far more affective empathy than a normal person. This can result in things like crying often, being unable to comfort upset people because their emotions are too overwhelming, etc. Some people feel hyperempathy all the time. Some have it only sometimes or for some people, or for inanimate objects.

Hypersensitivity: A blanket term which means “being more sensitive than most people to something”. When it comes to autism, it can refer to several things. Most of the time, it is used about sensory hypersensitivity, such as sensitivity to sounds or bright lights. There is also emotional hypersensitivity (easily getting hurt feelings/responding very strongly to positive feelings).

Hyposensitivity: The opposite of hypersensitivity, some autistic people feel a lack of sensory stimulation. They feel understimulated and may constantly feel the need to seek sensory stimulation. It’s important to note than an autistic person may be hypersensitive in some ways and hyposensitive in others, or at different times.

Infodumping: Sharing a large amount of information on a single topic all at once, often without pausing or allowing others to speak, due to overwhelming enthusiasm for the subject. It is usually done on subjects of special interest.

Low empathy: Some autistic people feel reduced or no affective empathy for other people (do not identify with their emotions or feel inspired to a certain emotion when they see others having that emotion). This does not necessarily mean that they do not care about the emotions of others - some may not care, some may care a great deal - only that they do not feel what others feel. Some people with low empathy for other people have hyperempathy for inanimate objects or fictional characters.

Meltdown: When the brain is too overloaded with sensory information or stress and can no longer function properly, an autistic individual may have a very violent reaction, called a meltdown. The person melting down is generally in a lot of pain. They might scream, throw things, yell curse words and insults, cry, hurt themselves or other, and try to hide themselves in absurd locations like under couch cushions or behind doors.
This neurological event cannot be controlled or stopped once it begins. It can be made worse by interfering and adding more sensory input (by touching or talking to the person) and usually will not subside until the person is left alone to calm down. 

Neurodivergent/Neuroatypical: Having a neurology which is different from the most common ones, such as being autistic or having ADHD. Some people include mental illnesses in this label, some do not.

Neurodiversity: The philosophy that in order to succeed, survive, and thrive, the human race needs many different types of neurology, and that neurodiverse people are an important and positive component of our species.

Neurotypical: A term which is defined as “having the most common type of neurology” (ie not autistic, without ADHD/dyslexia/tourette’s, etc.). Someone with a mental illness may or may not be considered neurotypical depending on people’s opinions.

Nonverbal: Someone who cannot or does not communicate verbally (using spoken language, often including sign language). Some autistic people are always nonverbal. Most are nonverbal under stress or overload. Some are always verbal.

Passing: Successfully behaving enough like an allistic person, particularly in social situations, that no one suspects you are autistic. Often important or even necessary for some people, especially when it comes to work situations.

PECS: One of the AAC methods which is most commonly used with autistic children (and sometimes adults). Stands for “Picture Exchange Communication System”. A pictogram-based system.

Proprioception: All of the sensory input which comes from inside your body. Includes your brain’s awareness of where the different parts of your body are. Autistic people often have very poor proprioception. As a result, they may have some type of dyspraxia, odd facial expressions, odd posture and walking gait, etc., all of which they may not be aware of until someone tells/shows them.

Sensory Processing Disorder: The clinical term for someone who has difficulty processing sensory information. Includes sensory hypersensitivity, hyposensitivity and differences. Too many details to process can lead to sensory overload, shutdowns, and meltdowns. Some autistic people don’t agree that it is a disorder, and prefer to talk of “sensory processing differences”.

Sensory Overload: When too much sensory information is being sent to the brain and the brain can no longer keep up. It becomes painful and the person can become incapable of accepting new sensory information until the brain has time to catch up (like a computer freezing when too many programs are open). This often leads to shutdowns and/or meltdowns.

Shutdown: A defense mechanism against sensory overload and stress. The brain attempts to shut out all sensory input by disconnecting from the environment. The person might no longer understand speech (or even fully hear it), be able to think in language (or to think in any way at all), move their body, or communicate in any way. Their eyes might unfocus and they may seem to be completely “out of it”. This state is usually a sign that the person needs to be left alone for their brain to calm down, but if pushed by those around them, they may switch to having a meltdown.

Special Interest: A subject which an autistic person is extremely interested in and will go to great lengths to learn everything possible about.

Spoons: A metaphor used to indicate the (limited) amount of energy a disabled or sick person has to devote to various tasks. There is a whole script blog devoted to this (@scriptspoonies). Many autistic people rely on this metaphor to describe their (lack of) energy.

Stimming: Repeated actions which are used to stimulate one’s own nervous system, done for various reasons including to soothe oneself/calm down, express emotions, communicate, or just because it feels nice. Common examples include rocking back and forth, flapping hands, clenching jaw, tapping a part of the body, making a repeated noise, etc.

Verbal: Able to communicate using spoken language.

autistic studying advice

by an autistic undergrad

1) Don’t trust all study guides by NTs

Their brains are wired differently and some things that work for them won’t work for us. There’s a chance those tips and tricks won’t do anything for you, which might make you feel like a failure. You aren’t! If something doesn’t work, move on. It’s okay.

2) If you have executive dysfunction, laziness and lack of motivation is not your problem

When you struggle with executing tasks it may feel like you are lazy and aren’t motivated enough, but that’s not necessarily true! You might be hella motivated and still not be able to do a task. Trying to motivate yourself in that case will only make you more frustrated.

3) Get distractions out of the way

Little things that would not distract a neurotypical person might distract you, in which case you won’t be able to work to your full capacity. Build a sensory friendly environment with no noises, bright lights, bad smells, etc. Use ear plugs or music if you need to. Get stim toys if you stim a lot to concentrate. Good environment is very important and is probably the reason why you struggle at school/college/uni where your senses might be overstimulated.

4) If you tend to hyperfocus, learn when it happens

Hyperfocus can be incredibly useful for studying, so if it happens to you, try to identify when it happens. For me I tend to hyperfocus when there are absolutely no distractions (for me that often means when I have headphones on and I’m alone). Then replicate those factors to get more done.

5) Learn ways around executive dysfunction and limited energy

This is the most difficult part. Studying when you have problems with executing tasks and limited spoons (energy resources) is tough. Here’s how you can deal with it.

6) Understand your priorities

You will not be able to do as much as NTs do in one day. Deal with it now. Understand that simple tasks such as brushing your teeth or talking on the phone also require energy. So prioritize. Assume you can only do one thing today, the most important/urgent one, and do that first. Then the less important thing. And so on.

7) “Don’t half-ass things” is a lie

Half-ass things. Quarter-ass things. If you can only do one math problem today, do it. That will be one less math problem later. If you can only read a few pages of a textbook today, do it. It’s also easy to think “if I can’t write the essay and finish that project today, might as well do nothing”. That’s a lie too. Do a small thing but do something. Do something badly but still do it. You might be able to fix it later. There’s no shame in being disabled, no matter what society makes you think.

8) Do the most complicated thing first

If you have several tasks and one requires more executive functioning, do that first. Your planning skills are probably at best right after you wake up, before you have time to spend any energy. So that’s the best time to do tasks with many steps or to plan tasks ahead.

9) Rest and take breaks right

It’s important to take breaks in between work, but you have to do it right. You might be tempted to do something useful for a break to be productive - like take a walk or read a book or talk to someone. Do not, or at least do not unless you are absolutely sure. Switching to another task requires mental energy, so that will only deplete your energy sources.

For breaks, do something ridiculously easy. Go on social media. Listen to a song and sing along. Watch a YouTube video. Stim. Daydream. Even lay down and close your eyes for five minutes. Just don’t switch to tasks that also require energy.

10) Don’t try to learn by repetition

Studies show that learning by repetition doesn’t work for us. It will not help you make more connections in your brain. Instead, do different tasks. Read from a book. Write down important points from the book. Read them out loud. Try to repeat them without looking. Pretend to explain it to someone. Answer questions related to the material. Draw it. Watch a video about it. Make a mnemonic for it. Whatever. Just don’t sit there reading it again and again.

11) Be kind to yourself

Your energy levels and capabilities will fluctuate from day to day, and you can’t always know how it will turn out. On some days I can write an essay from scratch in one sitting. On others I struggle to make myself a cup of tea. That’s normal, and it’s not your fault. Blaming yourself for it will only upset you and make it less likely that you do at least something today.

Imagine it like this: you are playing a game, and the difficulty setting randomly switches every day. On some days it’s on easy and you get through five levels with no problems. On some days it’s on very difficult and you can’t even get to the first checkpoint. That’s okay. Say to yourself, “my abilities haven’t changed, the difficulty changed”. Today, just get to that checkpoint. Tomorrow you might get through five levels.

12) Learn from other autistic people

For any other problem you might come across, other autistic people are the best source of knowledge. Allistic parents, teachers, friends, mentors, etc are likely to not understand your problem at all, or give you bad advice. Instead consult the real autism experts - actually autistic people. There are plenty of us who got through school, college and/or uni. Reach out to them. They will help.

Good luck!

Astral FAQ

These are Frequently Asked Questions I get about astral. Please check this guide before asking me questions concerning astralling! This will be updated regularly, as I receive more questions.

What is the astral?

Note that this is MY definition: I consider the astral to be absolutely everything; our plane of existence, spirits’ planes of existence, pop culture realms, etc. The astral is everywhere and everything.

How does astral travel work?

When you travel, a small portion of your consciousness leaves your body.

This consciousness manifests as its own body on the astral, or it could “awaken” in an astral body you already have. In travel, you do not see/hear/feel/think as clearly as you do during projection, simply because only a portion of your consciousness has left your body.

What is astral travel versus astral projection versus OBE?

Note, again, these are MY definitions:

In astral travel, a PORTION of your consciousness leaves your body and is able to explore other realms.

In Astral Projection, nearly your entire consciousness leaves your body. Astral projection is much harder to achieve than travel. This is the “gold standard” of astral travel, where you see/hear/feel/think with complete or almost complete clarity.

In an OBE, Out-of-Body-Experience, your consciousness FULLY leave your body. As of right now, I do not believe this is possible without a near-death experience, or actual death.

What are some ways to astral travel?

  • Meditate.
  • Guided meditations
  • Trance
  • Have a spirit you know and trust “pull” you into the astral.
  • (Visualization) Imagine a door. Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of the door. Walk through it.
  • (Visualization) Imagine an X (pool, mirror, etc). Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of X. Walk through it.
  • Lucid Dreaming
  • “Splitting”: Imagine a copy of yourself hovering above you. Notice your consciousness in your own body, then “jump” your consciousness into that copy of yourself floating above you. Proceed to go where you want.  

What are some ways to astral project?

Just….keep practicing astral travel, maybe try new methods. I highly recommend reading Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce, I have literally NEVER EVER found a more comprehensive, extremely informative, and yet still beginner-friendly and not overly complex guide to astral travel/projection.

Differentiating “true astral” from imagination?

True Astral:

  • will always have external interactions that are not in your own head; entities talking/living their own lives whether your imagination/consciousness directs them to or not. Entities moving independently of your will.
  • Spirits (good or bad) being able to follow you back home, to your physical body and interact with you there
  • Unexpected/Unpredictable occurrences happen
  • You get injured and it may hurt your astral body and maybe feel it a little physically too. Injury damages your magical abilities/astral abilities
  • Your astral body can die and you won’t be able to access “true astral” until you regenerate.
  • You can meet other humans consciously. As in, you can text your friend and meetup on the astral together, and talk about it IRL afterwards. 

Imagination:

  • You are in full control of everything.
  • What you expect to happen, will happen
  • Entities are like puppets or dolls; they don’t move around unless you imagine them doing so, and if/when they interact with you, it’s things you expected them to say
  • You will not tire, or will tire extremely slowly.
  • You die/get extremely hurt and nothing happens. You can regenerate at will/heal whenever and wherever you want.
  • You talk to your friend, then you talk to them later IRL and they have no idea what you talked about. 

Why do people always imagine common fantasy stuff when astralling? Don’t you think astral and what happens there is just your imagination and happens in your head? I mean strangely all the people who talk about astral experiences describe common fantasy stuff. I’d say if astral was real it would contain a lot of stuff people can’t even imagine, and yet everyone describes dragons, elfs, etc, that which their mind already knows, nothing out of ordinary. Isn’t this suspicious?

One reason people generally imagine common fantasy is stuff is because that’s what most people care about, and thus go to. It’s hard to care about a species that humanity has never even encountered before, isn’t it? Also, how can you visit the realm of something you have never even heard of/can’t imagine before? Astral travel needs knowledge of where you will go to, so it’s pretty hard (and probably super dangerous) to just say “take me somewhere beyond my imagination.”

There’s also the problem of perception: during astralling, the mind usually replaces things you don’t know with things you do know of, to use less energy while astralling. While you can force your brain to show “the truth”, the more the thing you are trying to look at is beyond your imagination, the more energy and effort it will take to see “the truth”.

How do you do astral laundry?

Note: Not limited to this list.

  • Have a companion you’re comfortable with seeing you nude do your laundry for you.
  • Astral travel two feet away from your earth self, take your astral clothes off, put them in your washer/dryer (with your astral self or earth self), physically run the washer/dryer (you can wash other clothes with it). Take your clothes out, travel again and put your clothes back on.
  • Destroy your clothes and remake clean ones.

How do past lives affect current astral shenanigans?

You might appear as one of your past life forms/bodies. Spirits from your past lives could also attempt to find you on the astral (whether malicious or friendly, so always be cautious).

How to meet spirits on the astral?

Tl;dr:

1. Be able to astral and able to distinguish between astralling/imagination.

2. Go somewhere with spirits.

How to safely meet spirits on the astral?

There is no 100% guarantee of safety when astralling.

Some suggestions are:

  • Have spirit guides/guardians/protective companions take you somewhere safe
  • Actually know where you are going and who you want to meet

How do you keep possibly malicious spirits/entities/beings from following you back home?

  • This is what wards in your living space/where you are when you astral are for. Wards can fuddle your energy signature from being found by spirits you don’t want to find you.
  • Make sure you “come back” correctly; that you walked back through your imagined door, imagined yourself falling back into your physical body, whatever.
  • Do a centering exercise, which will help you “pull back in” trace amounts of energy you left where you went when astralling. Do make sure your wards are up first, to make sure nothing follows the “pull” back to your physical body. If you don’t know what centering is/how to do it, check the “energy work” section of my FAQ/my energy work FAQ post.

Manners/social etiquette/social skills in the astral?

Obviously those will vary a LOT based on where you go. I literally can’t write a comprehensive guide as the astral is home to a limitless number of cultures.

But some things to keep in mind are:

  • Don’t fight every single thing you see ever. Don’t try and provoke fights with every single thing ever. Retribution is a thing and the majority of spirits have the advantage when fighting in the astral.
  • Just because something looks scary doesn’t mean it’s out to get you.
  • Observe the culture, maybe talk with some of the nicer (and not trickster) locals who can tell you the Do’s and Don’ts of their culture.

Heeeeeeey people keep talking about different places in the astral and are they alternate locations all on the same plane or are there alternate astral planes with alternate inhabitants?

There are alternate astral planes with their own inhabitants, and alternate locations on the same plane.

Example of the former: We are on earth. Heaven exists on its own plane of the universe.

Example of the latter: We are on Earth. An alternate location on our plane of existence would be Venus.

Is it possible for entities/other people to drag you into the astral (forcefully or not)?

Absolutely, both people and entities can bring you to the astral. And they can do it forcefully or consensually (consensually obviously takes a lot less energy). 

————————————————————————–

This will be updated every once in a while. Again, please check this FAQ before you ask me any questions concerning this, please ^-^

Things You Can do to Help Disabled People That Don't Cost A Cent
  • Do not talk about an obviously disabled person in front of them as if they can’t hear or understand you.
  • Do not talk to a disabled person’s companion instead of them.  
  • Ask permission before touching people, or their wheelchairs/other equipment. Even if you want to help.
  • Ask disabled people about their lives and really listen to their answers.  (Within reason. Asking people personal questions about their sex lives, for example, is rude unless you are very close to them and they’ve communicated they’re OK with that).
  • Listen to what they say whether they are speaking, writing, typing, using text to speech, using a letterboard, using PECS, gesturing, using sign language, or using any other form of communication.  People who cannot speak can still communicate.
  • Stand up for people you see getting bullied.
  • Understand that disabled people don’t just need friends, they can be friends, too.
  • Every public place does not need to have loud, blaring music and TVs with flashing screens.  
  • If you blog, put bright, flashing images that can trigger seizures under a cut so that people with seizures can avoid looking at them.
  • If a job can possibly be done without a person driving, don’t require candidates to drive/have a driver’s license, and don’t interview candidates and then reject them because they don’t drive.
  • When talking to someone who has trouble speaking or stutters, and takes a long time to speak, wait for them to answer. Don’t keep repeating the question or pressuring them. Yes, if you’re like me and your mind is going really fast and you forget what people are saying if they take too long, it can be hard to be patient.  Do it anyway.
  • If you are talking to a deaf person, make it easier for them to lip-read by facing towards them while looking at them, and not covering your mouth with your hands.
  • If you are talking to someone with hearing impairment or auditory processing disorder, it is more helpful to slow down or rephrase what you’re saying than to just speak more loudly.  
  • Some disabled people have difficulty understanding nonliteral language such as metaphors and idioms (e.g., “a stitch in time saves nine”). If you’re talking to someone like this, try explaining what you mean by these figures of speech, or just not using them.
  • Recognize that failure to make eye contact does not mean someone is lying to you. It may be uncomfortable for them.
  • Recognize that unwillingness to go out to loud, crowded bars does not mean someone isn’t interested in socializing with you.
  • If people have difficulty spelling, or using the appropriate jargon/terminology for your social group, do not assume they’re stupid.  You may need to paraphrase some “jargon” for them.
  • Recognize that a person can need time alone and it doesn’t mean they don’t like you or want to be with you. It’s just something they need so they can function at their best.
  • If a person does not recognize you, do not assume they don’t care about you.  They may be face-blind.
  • If a person does not remember your birthday (or other major names, numbers, or dates) do not assume they don’t care about you. They may simply have a bad memory.
  • Understand that a disabled person’s talents, however esoteric, are real, not unimportant “splinter skills.”
  • Colorblindness affects more than just knowing what color something is.  To a colorblind person, colors that they can’t see will look the same if they have the same degree of lightness/darkness.  That means that to a red-green colorblind person, a red rose on a green background will blend in instead of contrast starkly, and the Chicago CTA El map will be difficult to understand.  Understand that something that stands out to you and seems obvious may literally not be visible to a colorblind person.
  • Accept stimming.
  • Don’t tell them “but you look so normal.” But, if they accomplish something you know they were working really hard to do, it’s great to compliment them on it.
  • Understand that a person can be working incredibly hard to do something and may still not perform as well as you’d like them to, as well as the average person would, or as well as the situation demands.
  • If someone has a major medical problem, disability, or chronic illness, then just eating some special healthy diet or exercising more isn’t going to cure it. It might help, it might hurt, it might do nothing, but they’ve probably heard it before, and it’s none of your business in any case.
  • A person with OCD knows that checking or counting or whatever compulsion they perform won't really prevent disaster from happening, it’s just a compulsion. That doesn’t stop them from feeling the need to do it anyway.  A person with anxiety may know at least some of their fears are irrational or unlikely to occur. That doesn’t stop them from feeling anxious.  A person with trichotillomania may know it hurts them to pull out their hair or pick at their skin, but they have trouble stopping themselves anyway.  A depressed person may know they would feel better if they got out of their house and talked to people, but that doesn’t make them feel any more up to doing those things. A person who hallucinates may know the hallucinations aren’t real, but that doesn’t make them go away or feel less upsetting.  You see the pattern?  You can’t cure people with mental illnesses by telling them they’re being irrational or hurting themselves.  If it were that easy, they’d have cured themselves already.
  • Do not tell a person with ADHD or mental illness that they should not be taking medication.  This is a personal decision. Furthermore, since medications have wide-ranging effects on people’s bodies and minds and often unpleasant side effects, most people taking medications have thought through the issue, done a cost-benefit analysis, and decided that the ability to function better is worth it.  Their decision should be respected.
  • A disabled person with intellectual disability who has the academic or IQ abilities of, say, a seven year old does not actually have the mind of a seven year old. They have different life experiences, needs, stages of life, bodies, and so on.
  • If a disabled person is having a meltdown, they are not angry, they are terrified.  They’re not throwing a tantrum or being aggressive, they have gone into fight or flight. The best thing you can do is remain calm yourself and help them calm down. It may help to keep your distance, keep your voice low and calm, let them retreat to a safe place if they know to do that, or remind them to do so if they don’t.  Reasoning with them won’t work well because they’re unlikely to be able to hear and understand you.  The worst thing you can do is start yelling yourself, threatening them, be violent to them, cut off their escape route, or get right up in their personal space.  

Other ideas?  Please reblog and add more.  The more the merrier.

“Seventeen Days” (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Fantasy/College AU)

Summary: An angel from heaven is sent back to Earth to prevent college senior Bucky Barnes from ending his life. But here’s the catch - she only has seventeen days to do it.

A/N: from this point on, i’ll be doing an extended author’s note at the end of every chapter so i’m not ruining the chapter in this note. tags have been kooky with me, but the tagging list for this story is still open! -j. x

“Seventeen Days” (Masterlist)

He easily pulls you up onto your feet in a fluid motion. “Hey, sorry about that. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he apologizes.

“Oh no, I’m the idiot looking at my phone and - oh, thank you,” you beam as he bends over to picks up both your phone and suitcase for you. You suppress the appreciative sigh bubbling up your throat as you get a good view of his butt.

Thank you, indeed.

“Why are you lugging around a huge suitcase in the middle of the -” He pauses as he catches your expression of admiration. “Hold up, were you just checking out my ass?”

Rapidly blinking doesn’t help your brain come up with an excuse, so you own up to the question with a sheepish shrug. “Sorry, but it’s a really nice ass,” you confess. “You must do, like, a million squats a day or something.”

A pleased look crosses his face. One hand goes on his hip while the other coquettishly bats the air. “Stop, girl. You’re making me blush,” he unabashedly grins.

Outstretching two thumbs-up, you flash him a radiant smile. “Whatever you’re doing, continue it,” you encourage. “And sorry to bother you, but could you tell me where Pym Hall is? I was looking at the map on the school app, but it’s -”

“- Really small, like it’s made for ants, right?”

Your jaw slightly drops while your eyes arch upwards. “Those were my exact thoughts!” you exclaim with surprise.

“Good to know I’m not the only one who hates the map,” he chuckles. “Pym Hall is just across the quad. It’s the second building with the statue of the lion.” He pauses, his eyes dropping to your huge, green suitcase. “I could take you there if you want.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to.”

“Pym Hall doesn’t have any elevators.”

The polite rejection you’re about to deliver stops at your throat as you recall your room is on the third floor. A sheepish smile curls up and you push the suitcase his way. “I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, no problem. I have nothing better to do, might as well help out a pretty girl,” he winks.

Are all Earth boys super nice? With a smile big enough to light up a city, you hold out your hand, enthusiasm glittering from your eyes. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), by the way. I’m a transfer student.”

He grabs your hand and energetically pumps it up and down. “Sam Wilson, at your service.”

Keep reading

The Only Exception (Part 8)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,733

Warnings: language, fire, panic, dangerous situation, rescue, drinking, bad jokes, I’m off the handle because I no longer care

A/N: If you don’t like it, don’t read it. After the posts I saw last week that personally attacked me…I wish some people put half as much effort into helping others and the earth as they do being genuinely awful.

Anyways, it’s fiction.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

Originally posted by mizar113

Keep reading

Communicating With Deities


How do I communicate with my deity?

How do I know if a deity is trying to reach me?

How can I tell if my deity accepted my offering?

How can I receive messages from my deity?

The topic of communicating with deities is the question I get asked the most so I figured it was time to give it its own post. Especially because this question doesn’t have an easy answer.  It’s not as simple as learning to give an offering or how to devote yourself to a deity. There’s no step by step, made for everyone and every deity, guide to communicating. Its ultimately something you have to figure out yourself, though I can offer some help in ways to go about figuring it out. But first I want to clear some things up about communication with deities. I feel there are a lot of misconceptions that surround it and I also need to explain WHY it’s a topic I can’t give you an easy answer to. So let’s get to that!

  1. Faith- So I’ll admit that the obsession that a lot of people have with communicating with their deities confuses me. When I started I didn’t really think much of the hows of interacting with Aphrodite because I, just like with any other religion, assumed that I had to have faith that Aphrodite was listening. I feel like a lot of people are missing that, like being a Hellenic Polytheist means you have constant, consistent, and direct messages from the gods, but that’s not the case. Faith is still an element and honestly it remains an element even when you have been devoted for years. You’re not always going to get confirmations on things you do or ask, actually most of the time you don’t. You just have to have faith they are there and listening
  2. Tumblr - This point is directly related to the first point. I believe that a lot of the misconceptions of communicating with deities and even the obsession with it has a lot to do with our community here on tumblr. I’m not here to accuse anyone or point any blame. I’m not even saying that people are lying or exaggerating. I just think because of everyone sharing their wonderful experiences it’s creating an image of communicating being a natural part of a devotee’s everyday life with their deity. I mean maybe it is for some, but not all. Honestly, a lot of what you are looking at on tumblr are snapshots of worship. Maybe that devotee received an AMAZING sign or message from their deity but perhaps that was the first one in a few months. The truth is, just like with most aspects of our lives, we like to share the fantastic on social media, so don’t take everything you read as the “normal” or the “standard” of devotion. The truth is there really isn’t one and definitely not one for communicating with deities.
  3. Skills - It’s important to keep in mind that communicating with deities can be seen as a skill. And just like with any skill there are those who are “naturally gifted” and others who have to practice practice practice in order to see any results. This is also a reason why you shouldn’t look to others’ experiences as the way it works for everyone. They could be one of those naturally gifted people who are just born tuned into the god frequency or they could also have been practicing and doing a lot of work to get the point where it’s easier to receive messages. So those of you starting out shouldn’t automatically think you will begin getting signs and messages right away, it most likely will be something you have to work towards.
  4. Deities Communicate Differently - A big reason it’s nearly impossible to say how or if a deity is communicating with you is because they do it in different ways. The way Aphrodite and me communicate may not be the same way she communicates with another devotee. A lot of it depends on the devotee. We each have a way of communicating that we will be more receptive to, whether you know it or not. Your deity might know that and choose to use that form, even if you haven’t exactly figured that out yet (fun, right? lol). A deity also may choose a way to communicate depending on the message they are trying to send you. They could also pick a way simply because they find it amusing and/or ironic (i’m looking at you, Hermes). It’s really hard for someone on the outside to tell you for sure how your deity is going to interact with you specifically. I can’t speak for the gods and I can’t speak on your personal relationship with them. Again, it’s something you have to journey through and find answers to yourself.

Now that the bad news is over with, how about I give you some good news? As I said above, I can give you some advice/tips on ways you can figure out how to communicate with your deity yourself. Remember this is a process, a journey, it’s not a faucet. Doing one of these things isn’t going to automatically start the flowing of messages. Just keep that in mind! Now onto the list!

  • Divination - Probably the most popular form of communication with deities is using some form of divination. There’s A LOT to choose from so do your research and see what calls out to you and give it a try! Some examples are tarot, oracle, runes, pendulum, scrying, bibliomancy, shufflemancy, just to name a few.
  • Meditation - I strongly recommend everyone try meditation because there’s a ton of benefits to it and one of those benefits is connecting with your deities. Not only can you receive messages and signs while mediating, the act itself opens you up to be more receptive in your everyday life!
  • Astral Travel - This is another popular method used to communicate with deities. Many people talk about not only receiving messages from their deities, but also full on interaction with them. Make sure you do your research before attempting it! It also may help to practice meditation first.
  • Dreams - Okay so this is one of the easier ones on the list to do. Basically start recording your dreams and see if you notice anything either popping out at you or that’s repeating. Sometimes your deity may just simple show up like “hey, what’s going on? You dreamin?” but other times they aren’t that obvious (why would they make it easy on us?). Recording your dreams is a great way to notice patterns because sometimes it can take multiple dreams to get a message. This applies to the universe as well. Like it took me a good chunk of my life to realize that when the universe wants me to pay attention it throws an abundance of something in my dream, where I’ll be like “shit thats a lot of elephants!” and then another dream years later “What is with all these fucking spiders!?”. Keeping a dream journal makes it easier to notice things like that. You can also ask your deity to appear in your dreams if you so choose (of course whether they do or not is up to them). Also if you’re into it you can use herbs and stones to better receive messages in your dreams and to remember them when you wake up.
  • Journaling - Anyone who has been a follower of me for awhile can probably tell you that my answer for most things is “Keep a Journal” and they are probably eyerolling me right now, lol! But I really believe in the benefits of journaling because they are abundant! I won’t go into all of them because we are talking about communicating with deities and damn it I WILL stay on topic! Just like recording your dreams, recording your waking life can help you spot patterns and possible signs that you might miss otherwise. If you’re like me and interact a lot with your deity through emotions and feelings, journaling is truly wonderful! You can start making connections between actions and your emotions that could help you better understand your deity. I also recommend doing this even if you choose to do one of the other ideas listed above. Recording your progress and your emotions is great for looking back on and seeing how far you come especially in those moments when you feel like you haven’t done much. So yeah, everyone keep a journal!
  • Open Yourself - So those of you who are witches don’t really need much explanation on this and honestly you might have already started on this one, but for the sake of those who might not know let me explain. There are different ways you can better open yourself up so receiving messages can be easier. Using certain stones, burning certain herbs/incense, using oils, casting spells, doing rituals, etc. There’s a lot you can do to help open yourself up to the universe! And these aid a lot in the techniques above!
  • Talk To Others - I know what you’re thinking “Wait, didn’t you say that looking at what someone else does is part of the problem?” Yes, i did, but it can also be helpful as long as you find the balance! Seeing how other devotees of your deity interact with them can at least give you ideas and a direction to go in. The key is not to compare and to not see their devotion as the “one true way”. Think of it more as a brainstorming session!

I just want to add that this post is my own personal opinion and personal reasons why I feel I can’t answer questions of this topic. I hope this post was helpful to those of you who took the time to read it!

Meme credit goes to my hilarious, wonderful and talented wifey @nerdywitchmomma 

Five Hundred Words *Jughead Jones x Reader*

Originally posted by imaginationworlds

Prompt: “Wait where is my homework?” 
“You did your homework?”
“…”
“Oh, yeah, right. I didn’t!”

Note:- This is my first, ever, try at writing Jughead, so, forgive me if I suck at this. I left the ending open for a possible second part, depending on if I am good at this and I get a good response, then I’ll write the second part. - Ro



You didn’t quite remember how the hanging out started, it sort of, just happened. No words were exchanged the first few times, it was comfortable silence and that’s really what you both like about one another; the silence. The easy and relaxing silence. The no need for useless conversation or forced interactions. He would be immersed in his writing, fingers typing quickly, and skillfully on the keyboard. Writing his inner thoughts and the town’s deepest secrets. You would be reading or drawing, little doodles of random things.

That’s why Jughead likes you. He doesn’t have to interact in order to be around you, he doesn’t have to speak or really listen, he just has to be there and you’re happy. It makes writing his novel easier, he doesn’t have to stop and talk or answer questions; he can just write and get on with it. That’s thing, though, he doesn’t have to, but then sometimes he wants to. Lately, he has started up conversations, it’s never normally lengthy or immersive but it’s little chats.

He’d ask about your drawings, mostly. You seemed more comfortable talking about your art than yourself, he noticed how twitchy you got when the topic of home or family was brought up, how you would smoothly transition to something else. After a few attempts, he eventually stopped asking, knowing how he’d hate it if someone kept pushing him on his predicament with “home” and “family”.

When you talked about your drawings, sketches and sometimes watercolours, you were a different person. The normal, reserved, shy and slightly weird girl was replaced with this passionate, smiley and confident girl. You carried a small sketchbook with you, everywhere, it was to jot down any muse you suddenly got. You never let anyone see the sketchbook, Jug, had a few glimpses but that’s about it. Like, everyone else, he only had the pleasure of seeing your art when it was fully done and on canvas or parchment paper. He understood that perfectionist of his writing, he doesn’t like when people ask to look at his stuff when it’s not 100% proofed for it.

Of course, he laughed at the cliche you two. The writer and the painter, two artists, who have broken souls and view the world through a warped, tinted window. You showing your view through illustration, graceful paint or pencil strokes, capturing the world in a still. And him, through the art of words, his view laid out and written down in carefully, constructed sentences. Two people who create, who are outsiders due to their lack of social skills, and yet, have found redemption of this by socialising with one another.

He usually hated cliches but he overlooked this one, just this once.

So, here you both are in the corner booth, as usual, at Pop’s. Two milkshakes in front of you, one chocolate and the other strawberry. Him with his laptop open, fingers typing down his recent findings of the murder mystery that haunted your pitiful town of, Riverdale. And you, red leather bound sketchbook open, two blank pages facing you. Pencil in your right hand as you stared out of the window, it was raining, making the window mist up.

Letting out a small, gentle sigh, you glance over to Jughead and watch him type for a few minutes. His raven hair that was peeking out from under the unique beanie, curled and fell into his face, he was too in his ‘zone’ to sweep it away. His green eyes swept across the screen, focus and determination behind them.

It was creeping late into the evening, you’d have to get going soon, you always hated leaving for some reason. You closed your sketchbook and opened your study books, frowning seeing no notes, or even your finished homework. That was extremely odd, you had math and science, where the hell was it? You’ve been at Pop’s since school ended.

“You going?” Jughead’s voice rang out. His eyes still glued to his screen, excessive typing but he knew whenever you shut your sketchbook it was home time.

You didn’t answer as you flipped through the many, blank, pages of the study. “Wait. Where’s my homework?” You asked with annoyance, looking around the table irritably.

“You did your homework?” Jughead raised his eyebrows, actually looking over the lid of his laptop to you, shock evident in his voice.

You both stared at one another, him not believing you had done it, whilst you were dead certain you did. Jughead’s mouth curved up into a smirk as realisation dawned on you, you didn’t do your homework, in fact, you didn’t do anything but sit in Pop’s drinking your milkshake.

“Oh, yeah, right. I didn’t!” You frowned and closed your books, Jughead could sense something was wrong but didn’t know if you wanted to talk or just suffer in silence, as usual. “But, yeah, I should get going home.” You shrugged lightly, an indication that you were fine.

He nodded, “Alright. I’m gonna use the restroom, then I’ll walk you home,” you chuckled at Jughead. “A killer is walking around, what type of person would I be if I just let you walk home alone,” you had to nod in agreement as he stood up and walked out of sight.

The weird feeling erupted in your stomach, you got this whenever you were alone with Jughead but it would simmer away, although it always came back when he offered to walk you home. It was weird, Jughead always walked you home, it was nothing new but yet, it was affecting you. You couldn’t possibly have a crush on Jughead, right? No, he’s your friend, you’d say best friend almost. Although, it’s rational, to develop a crush. You see and spend time with him every day, he’s like you and attractive.

He seemed to like your company. Jughead doesn’t tolerate anyone, if he has a problem or doesn’t like someone, they usually know about it. Hence the argument he had with Archie, his former best friend, who in which is trying to make amends with. So, obviously, he must like you to a degree, especially to spend every day with you! Going by all previous conversations, which are a handful you doubt that you or Jug would say anything to one another about feelings.

Noticing his open laptop an idea popped into your head. You were never, ever, this forward. Was this even being forward? You had to work fast.

When Jughead came back he closed his laptop and placed it neatly in his bag, offering a half smile and you got out of the booth, knowing full well that when he was at his place he’d see what you left. You only hoped that your act of regretful confidence would work out.

You had small chatter along the way, you complained about the weather, you hated when it rained it always shone through in your art. You don’t know what it is but the gloomy weather always made your muse a little dreary; you hated those pieces, yet the darker ones were often, Jughead’s favourite to look at when they were done. When you reached your home, you sighed at the parked cars, your parents are home; never good, especially when they’re home together.

“Night, Juggers,” You nudged his shoulder and he rolled his eyes at the nickname, it accumulated over milkshakes a few weeks back.

“Night, Y/N, meet at Pop’s for breakfast?” He asked already walking back towards the diner, he stayed there until closing, something, Pop, himself told you.  

You chuckled, “Sure.” Before walking into your house, as soon as, you opened the door you heard the yelling and sighed lightly before stalking towards your room.

Jughead, sat back in the booth, requesting a coffee as he opened his laptop once more. Keen to get this final thought down before it drifted away, only something caught his eye. A file on his desktop sat, titled ‘Read Me’, he opened it and skimmed through the document. 

Out of the five hundred words written, he only managed to comprehend the ones saying you liked him. A lot of the words were sentences of “I’m not good with words like you are.”, it made him chuckle. He frowned, normally people doing anything remotely related to feelings towards him would repulse him, yet you? It made him feel at ease. 

Five hundred words and he feels a weight lifted off of him and he didn’t know why. Well, he knew why but he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit it to himself! 

(God, this probably sucks. I am sorry if I wrote him wrong, I tried. At least, I tried, right? Let me know if I should do a part two, I am taking on Jughead and Archie requests, so feel free to leave an idea for me to write. - Ro) 
I didn’t tag because I have no idea if any of my taggers like Riverdale. 

If I do a part two, let me know by commenting on this if you wanna be tagged for it.

i quit sephora and now i feel much more comfortable being able to talk about my issues with makeup culture as it has evolved, so here’s a bit of a venting session from me! wall of text ahead!

to start: i think makeup is great, it’s incredibly fun, and i will alway stand by it as an invaluable method of immediate and non-permanent self-modification. it can help a lot of people with self expression and (mostly gender) presentation, and the fact that there are so many people who feel truer to their internal selves with the help of makeup is wonderful. 

BUT, that said, makeup culture itself is awful. i was in cosmetic sales for about 3 years, i’ve been an avid makeup enthusiast for a good decade, and it disheartens me the way people come to view themselves because of makeup culture. before i worked at sephora i was much more optimistic about makeup, and y’all would see me go blue in the face defending it– working in cosmetics shed a LOT of light on the things i would prefer to ignore. 

Keep reading

What Are Friends For?

Originally posted by bangthebae

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 2200

“Y/N, we’ve been friends a long time right.”
“Yeah, I’m the only one who’ll go to museums and bookstores with your nerdy ass.”
“ANYWAY. We’re both going through a bit of a drought now. Ya know, sexually.”
“Excuse you Kim Namjoon! I’ll have you know I am NOT in a sex drought. It’s like a monsoon of dicks raining around me.”
“Oh really, when was the last time you had sex?”
“Before I came over,” you said smugly.
“Masturbating isn’t sex.”
“Oh, in that case…what year is it again?”
“Exactly my point! You have needs, I have needs and neither of us have the time or social skills to do this with anyone else.”
“Wait! Do what? I’m not dating your crazy ass.”
“Good thing I’m not proposing that then. Not that I wouldn’t mind,” he said smirking.  “What I’m saying is, you’re my best friend and I trust you with everything. I’m hoping this is a reciprocated feeling.  But since we trust each other with everything else, why not trust me to supply you with mind melting orgasms.  What are friends for, after all.”
“Well, when you put it like that. Let’s go.”
“Go?  Where?”
“To my apartment, duh. Unless you want Kookie to hear you moaning my name,” you say smirking and heading to the door.

Keep reading

Secrets We Keep // Spencer Reid x Reader

Request:  Hey, 💕😁 your requests are open! YASS! ❤ Can you do an Imagine, where the reader is a very good trained assassin and dating Reid but she is also on the team. But she never talked about her training and maybe after a hard case, she tells him about her training to an assassin. And maybe she started to cry because, it was a really dark moment in her life. ❤💕 Love ya and i hope it’s not a problem to write about this 😊

A/N: I apologize for how long this took! I rewrote it a million times and I’m still not sure I’m 100% happy with it but oh well lol. I hope you like it!


“Penelope?” you asked in surprise as you opened your front door. It was late, and Penelope had always been the type to call before dropping in for a visit.

“I did something,” Penelope began, her voice rising as it did when her anxiety over situations arose. “I know I shouldn’t have. I tell myself I need to stop being so nosy but I have the information right there at the tip of my fingers and I just can’t-”

“Pen,” you interrupted. “What did you do?”

She fell silent for a moment as she fidgeted in place. You watched as her hands nervously played with the bracelets on her wrists before she strode into your home.

“Penelope,” you repeated as you shut the door. “What did you do?”

Keep reading

A piece of advice for parents of kids whose disabilities are starting to become apparent.

You’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who don’t respect your relationship to your child very much. You know a lot about your kid, and you’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who treat you like nothing you have to say matters.

You’re also probably going to have to deal with well-meaning people who say things like “you’re the expert on your kid!!!”. This sentiment can be affirming in some ways when people aren’t taking you seriously, but it can also be toxic.

Taken literally, “you’re the expert on your kid” isn’t true — and it doesn’t need to be. Even aside from disability, kids are complicated. No parent understands everything about their kid. Every parent faces confusing situations, and every parent makes mistakes. Parenting kids with disabilities tends to mean being confused more of the time. That’s ok. You don’t need to be a perfect expert on your kid. It’s both impossible and unnecessary.

There will be times when you have absolutely no idea. When your kid is struggling and you don’t know why, and strategies you’re trying aren’t working. When that happens, you’re still your kid’s parent, and the relationship still matters. You’re not going to be an expert on every aspect of your kid at all times, and that’s ok.

Sometimes when you don’t know what to do, others have useful ideas. It’s worth being aware that good strategies tend to get developed in silos. If you’re only looking in one context, it’s worth trying more. For instance, there are things medical/therapy professionals often know, things adult activists living with the same disability often know, things teaches often know, and so on. It can also be worth looking outside of your child’s disability group — resources intended for one disability are often helpful for another, and groups don’t always talk to each other.

(This goes double if your child is autistic. Nothing disabling about autism is completely unique to autism; all of it’s shared with some other disabilities. Resources associated with other conditions are often better (and less behaviorist.).

All that said — you will probably face situations in which none of that helps. Sometimes you’ll seek out all kinds of perspectives and still find that nothing you’re aware of helps enough. When that happens, you may attract people who give you a lot of bad advice loudly. When you’re worried, it can be hard not to believe people who yell at you and tell you that they are experts.

Don’t get psyched out by professionals who try to convince you to stop thinking for yourself. They’re good at sounding right in intimidating ways. They often do not actually know what they are talking about. And ultimately, you are your kid’s parent, and all parents are clueless sometimes, all parents make mistakes, and you and your child are allowed to be human.

Similarly, as your child grows up, they will grow apart from you in some ways. That’s how kids are, and that’s part of how maturity works. Teenagers do things that their parents don’t understand. All the more so, adults do things that their parents don’t understand. Even in childhood, no one can really be a complete expert on another human being. Disability doesn’t change that. It’s not going to be possible to be an expert on your kid, and that’s ok. They’re a person, and so are you.

Tl;dr “You are the expert on your kid” is too much pressure. There’s a grain of truth, but it doesn’t reflect reality — and it doesn’t need to. There are a lot of unsolved problems in disability support — and in any case, no human being can really be an expert on someone else.

The majority of the Arrow fandom seems to take one of two positions regarding Felicity: she’s perfect and always right, or she’s terrible with no redeeming qualities. I love Felicity, so if you hate Felicity, this post probably isn’t for you. She is one of my favorite characters. And I love her because she is a well-written, complex character. Which, sorry, means she has flaws, so let’s get rid of that pedestal some of you have been polishing. 

One of the most common criticism’s of Felicity is that she’s self-righteous and that she thinks she has no flaws. In essence there’s this position that Felicity thinks she’s perfect (I’ll talk more about her being self-righteous specifically in a second). And, frankly, she doesn’t. Just look at what she tells her father at one point “I grew up thinking I was broken”. The reason I think that some people get that impression is 1. from the fans who view Felicity as perfect and take her word as gospel in any disagreement, 2. because she’s juxtaposed against Oliver who is brimming with self-loathing and thinks he destroys everything he touches, so any measure of self-esteem looks extreme by comparison, and 3. because she is not as unguarded as she gives the illusion of being and actually keeps her insecurities locked away for the most part. So let’s look at what some of Felicity’s actual flaws are, and how aware of them she is. 

Felicity is a genius. That’s just fact. That means that growing up Felicity was a “gifted child”. One common struggle of gifted children is that they feel a pressure to be perfect. In all kinds of different ways- school, behavior, accomplishments. Felicity feels this push very acutely. That’s why her intelligence is always on full display, because her tasks have to be completed perfectly (you’ll notice she is generally very hard on herself if she feels she made a mistake). It’s why her appearance is typically completely pristine and put together (either in her more business-like professional attire, or when she chooses to get dressed up) even when you wouldn’t totally expect that level of togetherness (that and the fact that it’s a tv show). And that’s why she always feels a pressure to be the “good one”. This particular aspect is fed into by her father’s abandonment (a common reaction of children in this situation- which she outright expresses, as mentioned above- is the “what did I do wrong that he left me”) and by the fact that the team looks to her in that respect. This even twists into times when she feels she has to prove herself to the rest of the team in certain ways, like the time she’s been eager to be in on the action even though its not her disposition and not within her skill set. It is also the reason why she is often very guarded. Why she mostly chooses to grieve alone. Why she doesn’t talk about her past or her parents. Why she disguises her pain with humor. And why she appears to think she’s perfect- because she feels like she has to, because that is the expectation put on her by everyone else. 

Keep reading

SUMMARY: In your haste to answer the door (under obviously panicked circumstances), you forget your glasses. You have to calm Credence down, but some cute fluffy things follow. (off these two requests:)

  1. Can you please maybe write some sort of scenario or bullet list where its both credences and the readers first kiss EVER like neither of them have experience ??
  2. i looooooove your writing 💕😚 can i request something cute like Credence sees you without your glasses for the first time

Word Count: 1,899

Warnings: Some descriptions of panic. Nothing too major, mostly fluff.

A/N: Forgive any typos, I didn’t proof read lmao. Sorry it’s been so long!!


Your bare face had made you uncomfortable since you had gotten glasses, if you were being honest. It felt strange, to not have the familiar weight balanced dangerously on your nose, even if you always had to push them up by the bridge or wiggle your nose to make sure they stayed in place. And now that you had developed a desperate infatuation with the boy who had come with the group staying in Tina’s apartment, they gave you an excuse to break eye contact and hide your face from inspection while you pretended to be worried about if your glasses were secure. Because if anyone looked closely enough, it would probably become clear that you blushed any time Credence was even in the same room as you.

Oh, Credence was his name, by the way.

You could not remember ever having been this shy, or uncertain, or confused. You were normally pretty outgoing and knew how to talk to people and could communicate effectively, but there was something about Credence. Not that you could really name what that something was, but. It was something. Maybe it was just that you had a giant, massive, horribly new crush on him and that this experience was certainly out of your depth. You were just young, you guessed, and had been so focused on your grades and your career that you had largely neglected your romantic life, but now you were here, with no experience, and totally unsure of yourself. Maybe that was the something. The being unsure. He wasn’t a puzzle you could just solve or a problem you could just push past—he was a person. A closed off, suspicious, calculating, powerful, dangerous, completely intelligent, sensitive, calming, and absolutely riveting to talk to, if you could get him to talk to you.

Which, since you were so nervous around him, was really hard to do. You could tell that he could sense your discomfort, which added to his own, so most of the time, you settled for listening when he talked to Newt or Tina or Queenie or Jacob, when they were around, which was most of the time. You knew they weren’t keen on leaving Credence alone, not after what they told you had happened to New York while you’d been away, but… You weren’t as afraid as they were that something else would happen. You couldn’t say why, but he seemed…too controlled to let that happen again. Part of his allure was that control.

Or, that perceived amount of control.

Because tonight, in this moment, clearly, he was not in control.

It was mostly a normal night. You had left Tina’s apartment to walk across the hall to yours at around 9 PM, had gone to your room to sleep around 10:30 since you were tired, and had brushed your teeth, set your glasses on the bedside table, and drifted off by 11. Then the pounding started.

Clearly, it was on your front door, a desperate, frenzied knocking that you could tell was from a closed fist beating relentlessly on the wood. In your haste, you tripped over your nightstand as you scrambled forward, darting as quickly as you could to the front door. When you swung it open, breathing hard with a hand pressed firmly to your chest, Credence pushed frantically past you and shoving himself into the corner of your living room. He was hazy, if that makes any sense, kind of blurring at the edges. Fading away and coming back into focus on a loop. The only thing you could really tell (on account of not having put your glasses on in your hurry) was that he was crying.

Cautiously, you stepped forward. “Credence? What’s wrong?”

His eyes stopped their spastic survey of the room to snap in your direction. You could tell he was assessing you, and you knew you should have been scared of what he would do if something stuck him the wrong way but… Again, you just weren’t. But he didn’t seem to find anything awry because the tears almost instantly stopped, which alarmed you slightly, but clearly it was a bad night. So you could understand that his emotions might be somewhat volatile or unpredictable. “Didn’t—know where to—go.” His voice cracked, rasped out of his throat in cut up phrases and around strange pauses, much as it had done when you had first met him.

“Well—Why did you have to go anywhere? Is something wrong?” You sat down and crossed your legs on the opposite end of the room, wanting to wait to get the okay from him that you could get closer.

He rested his forehead on his knees as he drew them up to his chest, but you could tell he was squeezing his eyes shut. You couldn’t focus on much else though, since you still couldn’t see. “The—way that they—look. The way that they look—at me.” On the last word, he erupted almost gently into a grey smoke before returning to a solid after a few seconds, but this time he seemed more definitively solid, less hazy.

“How were they looking at you, Credence?”

“Like I’m going to—break. Like I’ll break any—second.”

When he started to shudder, shoulders caving around his knees, you crept forward on your hands and knees to be across from him, so he knew you were there, so he stopped caving in and started looking out. You were close enough now that his face was clear in your vision, not blurry anymore from your inability to focus. “You’re not going to. I know that. They’ll know that too. Maybe they just need some time.”

Credence glanced across to you from the floor briefly. This time he was the one who couldn’t maintain eye contact. “They—know me best.”

You sat down across from him and noticed that he had laid his hand, palm upward, outstretched and unmoving between the two of you. You reached out cautiously and waited for the indicative twitch of his fingers under your hand before gripping his hand tightly. “You know you best, Credence.” He looked from your joined hands to your eyes again. You could tell he was thinking. “Do you feel like you’re going to break?”

He shook his head slowly before speaking. “I just—hurt sometimes. And when I—try to tell them they—panic, talk in these voices that—they don’t usually use. I can tell they think I’m going to… That…” You waited patiently for him to work around the words, just stroking your thumb over his knuckles to try to soothe him or ground him or help at all. “I just wanted them to listen.” His voice sounded so small on that last sentence.

“I’ll listen.” You couldn’t help the boldness in your voice, the defensiveness, the pain that you felt when you realized how lonely that must have been, to feel like his pain came secondary to the worry of his roommates and friends. That they cared more about what he’d do than about his emotional distress. You could understand why, but you cared more about him than anything else in this moment. Screw the whole city. You moved slowly to sit next to Credence, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he pressed into your side and let himself shudder. “I’ll listen…” You whispered one more time, closing your eyes and trying to fight off your own tears as you felt Credence clenching and unclenching his fists, unsure of where to put them.

Minutes passed this way, though Credence’s tears had stopped almost as soon as they had begun. You were sure he was used to having to quiet down quickly. When he pulled back though, he had a small smile on his face, which you were about to question, but he spoke first, after rubbing a hand across his face to wipe away stray tears. “You’re not wearing your glasses.” He sounded amused.

You couldn’t help the strangled laugh that forced itself out of you before you answered. “Well, yeah, I was in a hurry. Made it really hard to see where I was going though. I feel blind without them. Naked, too.” You turned crimson at that word choice and buried your face in your hands.

Credence exhaled sharply, which you took to be a laugh, and you saw his face was tinged pink too. “Well, your eyes are… They’re really pretty. I’ve never seen you—without the glasses on. And I feel like—I don’t see your eyes because you’re always touching the glasses.”

You blushed at the compliment and withdrew your arm from his shoulders, playing with the sleeves of your shirt instead of the glasses. “Well, I do that when I’m—when I’m nervous.”

A quick glance over to Credence showed that he was confused. “I made you…nervous? Why? Did I… Did I scare you too?”

You felt horrible when you saw how sad he looked and decided to take a chance. You took a deep breath before confessing in one long exhale, “Iwasn’tscaredIjusthaveahugecrushonyou.”

You felt so silly that you just wanted the earth to swallow you whole. This felt so…middle school. Which felt about right since that’s about where your social skills had developed to. But the confession was awkward and sudden and probably unreciprocated and—

Credence’s hand had crept slowly to your side, just letting his pinky brush your hip. He was looking straight ahead and was red as a tomato, but this was—something. You held your breath as you intertwined your fingers with his. You didn’t know when you were going to exhale, and you felt like you were suffocating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to break the silence.

Not before Credence spoke. “I’ve never… I don’t know…”

You faced him then, which was encouragement enough for him to look at you too. You answered quietly, “I’ve never… either. I don’t…”

The two of you just looked at each other, breaths held, and you had hardly noticed that your faces were drifting together before his eyelashes brushed cheeks. It was probably awkward that your eyes were open when your lips first touched, but the moonlight on his face was really breathtaking and so was this moment. His lips were chapped, and cold, and scratched yours lightly, since yours weren’t exactly not chapped either. It was brief, maybe only a second or two of just lips pressing together, before you broke apart, but it was enough to have you both blushing under the weight of the new experience.

“Was that—Is that okay? I’ve never…kissed anyone before.” Credence’s face started to flame both with embarrassment and shame at the explicit confession.

“I’ve never…kissed anyone either, Credence. We’re in the same position.” You chuckled nervously but looked down to your hand, where Credence was stroking his thumb absently. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, letting a grin break across your face once you noticed he had a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth too.

Credence let out a shaky breath once the silence seemed to have settled comfortably between the two of you and rested his forehead on yours, looking down at your joined hands, before speaking. “Can we—figure this out—together?” His voice was a whisper, hardly louder than the silence, and so was your response:

Of course.”


Tags~

@aya-fay @dontbeamenacetotheforce @randomrainbownobodyuniverse @hestia-sama@gothamsblackqueen@argentinemango @lenodina @crowleys-poppet-queen-of-asgard @imfuckin-gcrazy @tony-the-alien @wannabe-hipsterrr @newt-scamandr@allrdyces @sarcasm-olala@rosiebeck@mcinstry1@fandomscenarios@kylieisnotnormal@wrongcrystal@this-is-a-unique-username@doublemichael @frostyiceberg @catch-a-star-wish-from-afar@prime-minister-of-hell@leauvel@apegirl@credencesmut @draco-malfoy-s@anonomouseyyyyy @bitchasaurus@jinxstarfire@expectonewt@hxlena-writes @problematicdesi @bananakid42 @wowrudee @memefuckeree @talking-trash @lissabelle116

Message or comment if you’d like to be added to the tag list!!

Let’s Talk About the “Second Shift”

So here’s something that’s been bothering me lately. 

I grew up in a house with traditional gender roles. My father went to work to pay the bills, and my mom was a stay-at-home mother who cooked, cleaned and kissed scraped knees all better. My parents weren’t strict, religious or conservative; my mother simply grew up in an abusive home and wanted a chance to raise her own children with love, and my father was lucky enough to have a high-paying job that could support the whole family. My parents did their best to make sure that my brothers and I learned all the skills we would need in life - all three of us learned how to wash clothes, cook a meal, change a tire and fix a faulty toilet, regardless of gender. 

There would be no outdated gender roles in my future relationships, I decided. 

My partner, on the other hand, grew up in a different kind of household. His family was ultra-wealthy, and had domestic staff - almost exclusively immigrant women - to take care of any chores that needed doing. His father was working most of the time, and although his mother also worked full-time, it fell on her shoulders to manage the household; she was the one who knew what needed doing, who needed to be paid and when, who needed to be hired, etc. And that made a lasting impression. 

Now my partner and I have been living together for almost two years. 

My partner considers himself a feminist. He votes for left-wing parties, supports parental leave and a women’s right to choose. He’s all for closing the pay gap, seeing more women in office, and tackling the issue of missing and murdered indigenous women. 

And yet it doesn’t dawn on him to do the slightest bit of housework. 

When I was in university, we learned about something called “the second shift” in sociology class. Basically, more and more women are working full time jobs and being the breadwinners in their families, but the amount of housework we do per day isn’t decreasing. Women are working a full, eight-hour shift at their paid jobs, and then coming home to do a second, unpaid shift of housework and household management. I remember learning about this and thinking that I’d never stand for that sort of thing in my future relationships. I was going to have a balanced, egalitarian relationship where both of us did equal amounts of housework, goddammit it. 

And yet here I am. 

My partner might do a couple of household chores, if he’s reminded repeatedly. Take the garbage out. Unload the dishwasher. Clear the table. But without direct instructions, it never dawns on him to do these things. He can walk past a full trash bag or step over a basket of unfolded laundry without blinking. He can put an empty jug of milk back in the fridge, take a single glass from the dishwasher or throw candy wrappers directly on the floor. He’s grown up his whole life seeing women managing the household and doing the chores, and whether he realizes it or not, those things are “women’s work” in his mind. I can argue with him about taking more initiative around the house, but it take a huge amount of energy with little reward. It’s often just less work to do things myself. And he’s not the only one like this - most of my female friends have similar complaints about their husbands/boyfriends. 

“What’s the big deal?” he asks, whenever I bring it up. “The chores get done eventually.”

It’s a big deal because the chores get done by me. Or because of me. Every time. I work full-time and do paid freelance writing on top of that, while my partner works part-time. And yet it’s still my responsibility to not only do the brunt of the housework, but keep track of everything that needs to be done. My partner considers himself “helpful” because he does chores on command, sometimes, but he doesn’t recognize the sheer amount of effort that goes into managing the place and keeping track of what needs to be done. Grocery lists. Vet appointments. Scheduling repairs. Making sure there’s clean sheets on the bed, food in the fridge, hygiene products in the bathroom and fresh towels by the shower. Doing all these things costs me tens of hours that I could be devoting to writing, or hobbies, or friends. It’s a cycle we’ve both been socialized into, and it’s proving hard to break. 

So to my ladies and femmes: Resist the second shift. Demand more of your partners. Demand time for yourself. Don’t carry that load by yourself. 

And to my men and masculines: Be an equal partner in your homes, not an underling who needs to be told what to do. Take initiative, and take pride in the work you do in the home. Remember the burden that women and femmes are still expected to bear. And if you’ve got that down, remind your male/masc friends to be better.