who let this thing happen to me

I hate this rhetoric I’m seeing both on here by people outside the fandom and on the facebook page about having to accept the low viewership / high cost like a fact. Not that it couldn’t have happened, let’s be honest here, those are good reasons and if (I F) Sense8 got the same promo let’s say… 13 reasons why, OITNB or House of Cards had then I would have accepted this 22 days ago. But that wasn’t the case. So here I stand.

Zaunite Interactions (Except Twitch): ZAC

Ekko: “Hey! Stay out of trouble pal. Wouldn’t want any more good guys to die down here.”

Dr. Mundo: “Mundo.. I’m not made of Jell-O. Now stop looking at me like that..”

“Not sure if what you’re doing is exactly science.. I think its called murder buddy.”

Jinx: “What’s your deal with collateral damage!? They never deserved any of that..”

“Piltover or Zaun… Doesn’t matter! You’re still a psychopath! Moreso than Twitch.”

Singed: “You tricked Twitch once. I’m not letting it happen again.”

“So you’re the one who created Warwick.. Can’t have you creating any more of those.. things

“Mom and dad always told me to stay away from scientists. They usually told me stories about you to emphasize it. Glad to see they’re true!”

Janna: “Whoa.. never knew you were real… Do you still protect people down here?”

“My mom has a poster of you. Sometimes she’ll pray to you when times are tough.”

Viktor: “A world gone metal? Sounds more like a nightmare than a dream pal.”

Blitzcrank: “Heroes stick together. Especially down here, amiright?”

“How do you handle tough situations? I’m.. trying, but can’t really get the hang of it.”

“Hey! I’ve been trying to mimic your famous blitz grab! Wanna see?”

Warwick: “You’re not helping… You’re only making things worse!”

“I’m no coward… At least I’m not a monster.”

“Sometimes its the only way, but people need protection and safety.. Not more corpses. As if we needed more in Zaun.”

“You.. REALLY want to do this the hard way, huh?”

anonymous asked:

1. The polish journalist, who was given broccoli by Harry, talked about the interview recently and I haven't seen it anywhere yet, so I thought I would share the translation! "I was very impressed with Harry. He acted like a true gentleman and was incredibly nice. I admire him for kind of distancing himself from all of the things that are happening around him without letting anyone down. He's just really nice and funny"

2. “When he looks at you, he seems super interested in what you’re saying. He looks at people in a very specific way. He would look at me the whole time and sometimes it was so intense I just couldn’t keep that eye contact with him anymore. I think I even stuttered once when he looked at me cause I didn’t know what was going on, but then he smiled, winked at me and we made it!”

3.“Me and the other journalist where sitting in our chairs already, and Harry was eating lunch somewhere. At some point he yelled, ‘Hey, anybody wants some broccoli?’ Everybody said, ‘No, thank you’, which is what every normal person would do. But, of course, I had to be like, yeah, I want your broccoli. So I said I wanted it and was sure it was a joke and a minute later I learned it wasn’t”

4. He came up to me gave me a hug, asked me about my name, how I was, where I came from and then he just stood in front of me. I had no idea what he wanted, it was very awkward. That’s when I noticed Harry was holding a plate with his half eaten lunch on it. I think none of us knew what to do next so he said he brought me some food. I told him I thought it was just a joke. He said that I need to take some of his broccoli. There were no forks or anything, but he insisted, so I ate the broccoli.“

First of all, thank you loads for this. It’s really lovely of you to share this, and I certainly haven’t seen it around so far!

Second of all, this is… there’s something so… I don’t know if I have words for what this is. It’s so *casual* and it matches *every* perception of him so well that it’s… wow. He is who he is, through and through. Good for him. 

Thanks again, love! xx

crazyskinnylove:

voguefrance:

spagettinos:

smilebecauseicant:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!


this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i really hope my wish comes true

my last two wishes came true, one more couldn’t hurt

SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works

This is AMAZING i wished that I would get into South Korea and I did !!!!!!!!

~ Follow me ~: https://skullcomplex.tumblr.com

So we haven’t spoken in 3 days since you told me that I meant absolutely nothing and I tried to bunk class because I couldn’t fucking handle it

And it wasn’t suppose to happen but I was drunk and your parents weren’t home and it was just all too fucking easy, so when you ask me to come round, all the things you said leave my mind and I find myself in your arms once again

And my friends are angry because I left them on a night that was suppose to be for us, for a boy who doesn’t give a fuck.

So I let him crawl inside me once again whilst his little brother is asleep upstairs and when it’s all over he walks away saying “don’t fucking fall in love"

And that’s how it goes, he can say what he wants and he can do what he wants and I will still go running back. I’ll go running back every single time.

—  Houses I don’t belong in
Get Into My Car

Title: Get Into My Car

Summary:  Dean and the reader are enjoying a night out, until someone ruins the evening

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Reader

Word Count: 1889

Warnings:  Body shaming, derogatory terms directed toward a plus-sized reader, drinking, explicit language, explicit sexual content, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, smut, nsfw

Author’s Notes:  Written for two challenges: @winchester-writes Drinking Writing Challenge. My drink was Glenfiddich Scotch and my prompt was “What is everyone staring at?!” and @butiaintgonnaloveem Baby’s Big 50 Writing Challenge. My song was Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car by Billy Ocean. Thank you to @feelmyroarrrr for the amazing idea. This wouldn’t have been possible without my bestie, @mamapeterson and her support, encouragement and words. Love you, T.

Originally posted by spn-spam

Keep reading

A few years ago, I worked giving out samples at Costco for a year, and these were the best/weirdest things that happened to me:

Around Halloween, a man and woman walked by my cart, with a little boy who was crying as if he was losing part of his soul. They all had strong and beautiful Indian accents. The man said, “Son, what’s wrong? Son, what’s bothering you?” and his wife sighed and said, “He thinks we won’t let him be a ladybug for Halloween.” The father straightened up and said, “Son, of course you can be a ladybug! You can be whatever you want!” and they slowly got the boy to stop crying. It was one of the most heartwarming moments I’ve ever seen.

An elderly man with a long and greasy beard stole my opened bottle of Tabasco sauce that I was using, and proceeded to tilt it over his mouth and drink as much as he could. He then made a noise like “Whee-hee!” and said, “You can’t say you’re from Georgia, unless you can do that!” while I stared on with a horrified face.

(I’m not even in Georgia, and now, I hope to never be.)

A cart rushed by me, two children clinging to the sides of it, and a third pushing it as the other two yelled, “Faster, faster!” A minute later, a very frazzled mother ran in and said, “Have you seen my children?!” I pointed, and she ran off again.

A toddler chose me specifically to tell a story to, about how one time he went to a swimming pool, and there was a slide he really liked, and he went down it a bunch of times. His mom gave me a look of “I’m so sorry,” as the kid spoke, but she should not have been sorry. It was awesome.

A middle-aged man in a suit tried convincing me (while I was shutting down my cart and trying to avoid him) that Obama was the Antichrist, and that the whole world was run by someone called “The Black Pope” who was baptizing space aliens, and that’s why he liked Mitt Romney better. I countered by telling him that Mitt Romney’s real first name is “Willard,” and that made him dumbfounded enough that I could escape and clock out.

Max Damage Dildo

Same group as the mega dwarf woman, consisting of a tiny ratfolk rogue, a blind kenku warlock, and a 7 foot tall lupine ranger (our half orc friend had to leave the campaign). We defeated a bone naga and found a hidden chest under a pile of bones with some unusual goods.

Lupine: Are these…are these dildos?

Ratfolk (is socially inept): what’s that?

L: Nothing don’t worry about it. (OOC): I take the biggest one.

DM: I can’t believe I’m letting this happen but fine, you pick up a 24 inch dildo and pocket it.

R (OOC): I also take one….I’m a rogue and I likes collecting things.

Next session we investigate a town where dead bodies have been going missing. While investigating a graveyard, two guards surprise us and are quickly determined to be the guilty party. They both manage to miss the Kenku warlock, who is standing directly in front of them…and is blind. The rogue manages to miss and is now the lupines turn.

L (*after a minute of thought*) OOC: I take out my 24 inch dildo and chuck it at the nearest one’s face.

DM: ….why did I let this happen. Okay fine, but you’re getting disadvantage because it’s an improvised weapon.

Lupine manages to pass all of the checks, and javelins the dildo into the guards face, breaking his nose.

DM: He’s just discovered something horrible about himself….he was really into that.

Our Kenku manages to climb on a guards back and hold a knife to his throat, demanding information about what’s been going on at the risk of his friend dying. They submit and we tie them up, while she also enters his mind and gains extra information.

Kenku: For cooperating I will let you go….you do not need to worry about your boss finding you. If I ever see you skulking around these parts again I will make you wish it was your boss who found you instead.

Guard: Okay…but please since I cooperated….can I take the object that hit me in the face with me?

L: Only on the condition I get to hit you in the face with it again.

R OOC: If she does this I wanna help and use mine. I may not know what it is but I know it’s the same thing and that I wanna hit him.

DM: Again, I CAN’T believe I let this happen but okay. Both of you roll a D4.

L: Uuuh I rolled a 4

R: I got a 4 too! Oh my god we rolled max damage with two dildos

We both high five and laugh uncontrollably for a few minutes while our DM questions his life choices.

They barely let her pack a bag.

She manages about three t-shirts, an extra pair of jeans and underwear, a box of treasures she’s been keeping since she was five years old, a tin containing about $130 she’d saved over the years, and the journal she had started keeping this past year. She tries to gather more - memories, clothes, whatever - but her father stands in the doorway, arms folded, snarl permanently in place. She can’t bear be under his gaze anymore, so she leaves.

She can hear her mother crying from the kitchen as she walks out the front door. Her bag is heavy on her back, and she can feel the whispered gossip of her neighbours follow her down the street.

She calls her Abuela first, her mom’s mom and winces when she hears words like ‘abomination’ and ‘devil worship’.

Her mom’s sister is the same. How dare you call here, how dare you put your parents through this.

Issy is her last hope. Her father’s baby sister, only ten years older than Maggie. Issy had managed to escape Blue Springs when she was eighteen, and had not once looked back.

But Issy drives the two hours from Omaha to pick up Maggie. She calls Maggie’s school and explains the situation and helps get her transferred somewhere closer to where she lives. She’s twenty-four and getting a Masters in Software Engineering and doesn’t have to do anything, but she does. Her two roommates - both also in grad programs - agree to let Maggie live in their spare room without hesitation. Ashe studies law and Bridget studies economics and they both hug Maggie when they first meet her because she’s so small and so sad. They take her to Target and buy her some new clothes and they get a new dresser from Ikea and they try to make sure she’s okay without hovering too much.

Ashe tells Maggie that she’s brave, that she still hasn’t come out to her parents despite the fact she’s in a serious relationship. Bridget tells Maggie that she’ll help her with her homework and beat up anybody who gives her hell at her new school.

And Issy tells Maggie that everything will be okay, that they’ll get through this together.

Maggie keeps her head down at school, stays quiet and does her homework and gets good grades. She doesn’t dare rock the boat or cause trouble, because she just can’t do that to Issy. Issy does the same, works hard and saves money, thinking of nothing but her and Maggie’s future.

When Issy graduates, she manages to get a job at Wayne Technologies, and the two of them move to Gotham City. Maggie is just fifteen and she gets a job to try and help out as much as she can. Issy refuses to take a dime from her. So Maggie learns to cook and clean and she makes sure there’s always a plate of dinner waiting for Issy after a long day at work.

When Maggie brings her first girlfriend home, Issy interrogates her. And when Issy brings home Robbie - the man she’ll one day marry - Maggie does the same.

Their family is just the two of them, but there is more love than they know what to do with.

Issy cries when Maggie graduates as valedictorian of her high school class. She cries when Maggie gets a full-ride scholarship to Gotham University. She cries when Maggie moves out. She never cries over her estranged family, over the hateful things her brother has said to her over the years. Maggie makes her strong.

Maggie cries when Issy tells her she’s pregnant. She cries when Issy and Robbie ask her to be the godmother of their child. She cries when she holds her nephew Beckett for the first time. She only cries once over her estranged parents, and when she does, Issy holds onto her tightly, and doesn’t let go until Maggie is ready. 

When Alex Danvers kisses her, the first thing Maggie does is call Issy. They talk for hours, Maggie convinced she’d blown things for good, Issy telling her to have a little faith. And when her and Alex finally become an item, Issy texts Maggie nothing but ‘I told you so’.

When Maggie blasts Alex for ignoring her about Valentine’s Day, she calls Issy in tears, rambling about ‘cards from her mom who just happens to be named Eliza’ and ‘there must be something wrong with me’. Issy waits patiently until she’s done, before telling her that no, nothing’s wrong with her. She went through hell and she survived and nobody can make her feel guilty about that.

And when Maggie brings home Alex a few months later, Robbie reminds Issy not to be too embarrassing or hard on Alex. Issy agrees until she sees just how in love Maggie is, then she pulls out the old year books and laughs over them with Alex. Alex invites Issy and the family to National City for Family Thanksgiving, Issy invites Alex and her family to Gotham for Christmas.

As they leave, Issy pulls Maggie aside and tells her how proud she is, of absolutely everything Maggie has accomplished. She tells her that if anybody deserves the love she’s found in Alex, it’s Maggie. She tells her she loves her and to come home again soon and Maggie grins like an idiot and pulls Issy into a hug.

As far as she’s concerned, Maggie Sawyer has only ever had two homes. One is in Alex Danvers’ embrace. The other is wherever in the world her Aunt Issy is.

2

Mind Chess Battle

I can’t even play proper chess game on a board. How the heck they remember all the positions on the chessboard?? Is this a normal thing for smart people??

Though I’m really impressed with people who are actually good at playing chess. Looks so damn cool and very…intellectual. *goes off to play chess with computer*

First Bloom

Kara & Lena


Lena fills Kara’s office with flowers again the next time Kara saves her (it’s becoming a habit, honestly, in one way or another).

Kara, in an effort to establish that “that’s what friends are for!” and that Lena doesn’t have to do anything special for her, fills Lena’s office with flowers in return.

Lena refuses to accept this, and fills Kara’s office with more flowers.

A gesture that Kara then matches.

Lena, who is too grateful (competitive) to let Kara win this, but who also realizes that Kara is not actually rich, begins sending single flowers instead. 

But, of course, these are not just ordinary roses or lilies. Unlike the “pretty rare” flowers she’d sent the first time -the plumerias Kara had said were beautiful- and the pretty but ordinary flowers she’d sent following that, Lena sends a single, exceedingly rare flower to Kara’s apartment.

To Lena’s surprise, Kara sends a different but also very rare flower to Lena’s apartment with the note “You may be rich, but I have connections. ;)” attached.

(Jess, who is wary of Lena’s connection to this reporter but is also very allergic to most flowers is just thankful that they aren’t coming to the office any more…)

They play this game for a while, trying to one-up each other in rarity.

Eventually, after growing tired of strange and expensive flowers, Lena opts for a simple sunflower with the note, 

Not rare, but it’s color reminded me of you. Like the sunflower, you are familiar and just a touch strange, all at once. But it also reminded me of myself. Because I, too, follow the sun and am made taller in it’s light.

Lena leaves the fact that Kara is the sun in this metaphor unsaid.

The next week, when Kara would typically have a flower waiting on Lena’s doorstep, there isn’t one. Lena goes through a range of emotions, from fearing that she was too forward with her affection for Kara to wondering if Kara is alright. But when she opens the door to her apartment, she sees it, sitting on the living room table. 

Glowing.

Lena walks over to the white, shining flower with it’s few, simple, curved petals and it’s red stem, and picks up Kara’s note.

It’s not from this planet (if you couldn’t tell) and I’m not sure how to write the name but it means ‘The Shining Dark’. It grows in the freezing blackness of the planet Klumithea. Most of these flowers don’t glow due to the harsh conditions of the planet. All of them are survivors for enduring, but this one… this one is special.

It reminded me of you.

I hope you like it, because it will probably stay alive longer than we will.”

The next time Kara is expecting a flower on her doorstep, she finds Lena there instead, empty handed.

“Lena! No flower today?”

“No. Your last one was hard to beat.”

Kara laughs.

“I’m glad you liked it. It’s actually really interesting, though, how it grows. The-”

“-I have something else, though. Something you might actually like more?”

“Oh. Well. I’ve been trying to tell you, Lena, that’s not necessary. That’s what friends are f-”

But Lena kisses her.

She kisses her deeply and quickly, enough to electrify both of their consciousnesses, but then pulls apart from Kara just as quickly.

Kara’s face is flushed.

“Lena, that’s-” she stops herself, suddenly. Licks her lips.

Kara kisses her back, just as deeply. In seconds, they’re both out of breath.

When Kara pulls back, eyes locked with Lena’s and mind fried from electrocution, she continues her thought, 

“That’s… not what friends are for.”

Lena laughs, “No. It’s really not.”

“Well,” Kara starts, letting go of her. She slumps against the wall and tilts her head at to look at Lena, whose heart is still racing.

Kara sighs, finally, and says,

“I guess you win, then.”

Let me just say this. Y'all love to excuse racism and anti blackness every single fucking time it happens. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. How much longer until y'all finally admit you don’t care about black people and actually love it when racist/anti black things happen? This isn’t just about jiwoo and jseph, this is about all idols who have been caught on camera which audio saying something colorist/racist/ab and y'all go the extra mile to jump through hoops trying to defend it. Trying to make up stories about what they “actually” said (fake) or how they didn’t realize they were doing anything wrong (fake) or how the American members who grew up speaking English still don’t know what’s wrong and right (fake). Maybe if you try to educate yourself on these issues you’ll be able to see the problem and will want your faves to understand as well. Right now y'all just sound like a bunch of ignorant clowns.

The Tree That Outsmarted Me and Punched Me in the Face

Ok so this one isn’t so much wild as it is ‘Rekina what the heck do you think you’re doing sit down this instant’ kinda deal.

Our story begins back when I worked retail.

Alrighty so quick update. The part of Saskatchewan where I live is flat. I don’t mean mildly ho hum flat I mean flat ok like the nearest slight incline(besides the dump) is nearly a fifteen minute drive. ok flat as a ruler

And because of this intense flatness we get some equally intense wind. The last few days we’ve had winds upwards of 90km (55mph) and that’s a pretty normal seen it all before kind of wind storm. Nothing out of the ordinary. But then sometimes we get even worse winds called plough winds. Now, these are sometimes hurricane force winds ok windy as all get out

These winds make a straight path across the prairies, ripping roofs off, uprooting trees, and causing general havoc ok

there’s a reason they are called plough winds they plough over everything in sight like a bull in a china shop it has zero regard for your average home or retail employee like myself

Plough winds only show their ugly faces during the summer. and in summers I worked in the garden center. 

Now, normal people would stay indoors during winds like this. Common, sesnible people would hunker down and batten down the hatches and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Not me. Not only was I at work

I was outside

That’s right folks yours truly still had to go out and water the plants in winds fast enough to shut down most cities

So there I am in my oversized rain jacket that I was practically swimming in. This thing trailed along the ground it was so big on me. I have my garden hose on and am doing my thing

First of all, do you have any idea how hard it is to water plants when the water comes out of the hose and just kinda shoots off into the distance

It’s an acquired skill to say the least k I was standing like two feet to the side of the plant I actually wanted to water

Now if that wasn’t annoying enough i also have to deal with these jerks of trees

At the back of the center is our tree selection. I’d tied them down with the full stregnth of my scout knot tying knowledge and most of them stayed secure. But there was three little jerks on the very end that would tip over, making me go and pick them up again

This happened every ten seconds.

I would go, water a plant, and then drop everyhting to pick up these stupid trees

I did this for five hours straight

Then one time while I’m picking up a fallen ash, this little apple tree gets cheeky and topples down right on top of my head.

It didn’t hurt, but those leaves are like little whips in the wind my whole face was stinging by the time I got the jerk set up right again

This tree was about to become a very big problem

See when the other trees tipped over they would politely lay in place until i could reach them, still tethered loosely to the pole. But not this apple tree oh no

Little did i know i was dealing with Houdini Incarnated into a tree.

So I’m minding my buisness watering a plant from a distance and I happen to see Houdini take the fall. Except this time something was different. This time it not only fell, but it started to roll

It had somehow jumped the little enclosure and slipped the bonds

Im still pretty chill at this point. The whole center is surrounded by a fence where could it possibily go I’ll just go get it when it hits the fence right?

Wrong.

Because I was dealing with an escape artist ok what happens next had nothing to do with me

See off in one corner we had this pile of manure right near the fence. 

This tree my little Houdini was chugging towards it at full speed, those little leaves were like sails it was just a’cruisin down aisles of bricks. It’s fine tho it’ll hit the manue and–

It hit the manure alright

It rolled up the manure pile 

and over the fence

So now The Little Tree That Could was barreling around on the highway like a phsychotic leafy bat out of hell

My first thought is if that hits someone im so fired

I scream and drop the hose and begin my pursuit because I am not getting fired over an apple tree ok no sire im going down with my dignity

So i do the only logial thing in my head

Most people would run through the open get four feet behind them and calmly make their way to the highway. Not me

I sprinted across the compound, scrambled up the manue pile, and vaulted the fence

For one glorious moment I thought I could fly.

And then I plunged downwards with a very undignified squeal.

Still I splash down into the ditch and prepare to make my heroic capture

Problem: I had just landed chest deep in slough.

For those of you lucky souls who don’t know what a slough is let me explain

A slough is what happens when stagnat water, cow crap, cow piss, and crop fertilizer mix and heat up in the sun. Doesn’t smell good.

And I just landed chest deep in the stuff. Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it

But being the trooper I am i decide I’m going to end this day on a high note and salvage my dignity

I heave myself out of the slough and take off after the tree which is dancing around the thankfully empty highway

Just one issue: Plough Winds tend to change direction

So there I am chasing this freaking apple tree around in circles and it’s winning ok every time I get close to grabbing the trunk of branch the wind throws it in another direction leaving me stumbling like a drunk moose as I try to adjust course 

This goes on for a solid twenty minutes

I’m back and forth across this highway cursing enough to make a sailor blush

And then victory is in sight my fingers graze the trunk and–

the wind stops

The base of the tree is so heavy with water that It sits straight up and whacks me across the face harder than Dwayne Johnson ever could

My momentum throws me forward, my foot catches the pot

and I sail head first into the next slough

I am now covered in disgusting, thick, sticky water and that tree is just taunting me on the road

Eventually I manage to snag the little jerk and I start dragging it back towards the compound like oh yeah who the boss? i’m the boss i caught the tree 

Just as I see  two more trees making a break for it over the fence

It was a long end of shift to say the least

I had a black eye from that tree for a week and a lovely bleeding cut on my forehead. But i caught it and I am still proud of that to this day

Monsta X Reaction: When their girlfriend kisses their neck to let them know she’s horny

||| Requested by anon |||


Wonho/Shin Hoseok

Originally posted by monstaxmemes

You left a hickey on his neck and ran to the bed.

“Come here babe, I will show you what happens to those who tease me.”


Shownu/Son Hyunwoo

Originally posted by minhyuk1

He would pin you down the moment your lips touched his neck.

“You should use your words if you want something from me.”


Lee Minhyuk

Originally posted by monstxtrash

He was working when you came up to him.

“Since when did you become so needy? I guess work will have to wait, I have more important things to attend to.”


Yoo Kihyun

Originally posted by study-me-misha

He positioned you in his lap, wide grin spreading on his face.

“I will give you want you want.”


Chae Hyungwon

Originally posted by garisanee

He grabbed your hands securing you in place.

“Well if you want me this badly, we should finish what you started.”


I.M/Lim Changkyun

Originally posted by hearteyeschangkyun

He was talking on the phone when you started kissing him. He had trouble concentrating and quickly hung up.

“Naughty girl, should I teach you again not to bother me when I’m busy?”


Lee Jooheon

Originally posted by jooheonbebe

He would be on his feet in seconds, carrying you to the bedroom.

“It’s like you’re reading my mind. I can never get enough of you.”