I still think one of my fondest memories of my mother is when I was stuck at some guy I was semi-seeing’s lake house (don’t ask), confused and pissed off because he was acting all kinds of weird, and I was sitting on the dock explaining the situation to my no-nonsense mom on the phone, and after listening to like ten minutes of me ranting she goes, perfectly seriously, totally humorless, in a thick Puerto Rican accent:
“Mm, see, the problem is if he’s one way with his friends and another way with you, how’re you going to know who the real Slim Shady is?”
And that’s the story of how an otherwise bullshit day became one of my favorite ones ever.
1. You’re the One by Flatt Lonesome
2. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
3. The Mighty Fall by Fall Out Boy
4. Whenever, Wherever by Shakira
5. Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers
6. The Real Slim Shady by Eminem
7. Walking In Memphis by Lonestar
8. Nobody Wins by Radney Foster
9. Emily by My Chemical Romance
10. Live in Fear (/Broken Out in Love) by Mark Crozer
I’m horrible at this tagging thing so I guess just anyone who wants to play!
this is for the matchmaking thingy (idk what to call it o dear) but could you do Bucky Barnes please? thank you very much by the way
Who cooks: You - Bucky insists he helps you in the kitchen but really all he does is act like a little shit and throw things at you. He usually ends up distracting you enough that you wreck whatever you were making so you usually end up ordering takeout. Who made the first move: You -Bucky was extremely quiet and guarded when you’d first met him so you took it upon yourself to ask him to hang out. Did they fool around on the first date: No, even though Bucky acted extremely smooth back in the 40s deep down he still valued what his mother taught him about being a gentlemen. How many children do they have: None, Bucky and your lives are far too hectic to even consider having children. Who’s more dominant: Bucky for sure, he loves having you underneath him and begging him for more. Even though at first he’s always a little cautious when you ask him to be rougher, all it takes is for you to start begging and he does whatever you ask of him. Favorite nonsexual activity: Catching up on all the incredible movies he’s missed out on whilst he was enslaved by HYDRA. Their favorite place to be together: At his small apartment in Bucharest. The two of you love just cuddling on top of each other in his twin bed and whispering loving things to one another. Any traditions: Every Saturday morning the two of you get up early and head to the fruit market near Bucky’s apartment to buy plums. Their “song”: Any songs by Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby and surprisingly Bucky has a thing for Eminem, specifically The Real Slim Shady so whenever that comes on the two of you try to see who can remember the most lyrics. What they do for each other on holidays: Bucky and you both agreed that you don’t really like doing extravagant things for holidays like christmas or your birthdays. The two of you are content with just being able to hold each other. However that doesn’t stop Bucky from occasionally surprising you with your favourite flowers. Where did they go for their honeymoon: The two of you didn’t really have much money so you flew to Hawaii and spent a week at an isolated little shack by the beach. Where did they first meet: You and Bucky met at the library, you were there to do some research for work and he was there trying to catch up on all the historic events he’d missed out on. Any pets: No, the small apartment has barely enough room for you two let alone another pet. What do they fight over: Everything but the main one is your safety. Bucky is constantly worried that SHIELD or HYDRA will find you and take you away from him but you try to convince him you can take care of yourself. Do they go on vacations, if so where: No, the two of you are content just being with each other at Bucky’s apartment.
Send in a character and I’ll answer these questions for what their relationship with the reader would be like!!
well most of them, message me if i missed any and i’ll add them and post it as an updated list!
Ain’t No Sunshine (Bill Withers) All My Life (Nizlopi) Be My Husband (Nina Simone) Better Man (James Morrison) Bleeding Love (Leona Lewis) Blind Faith (Chase & Status) California Love (Tupac) Candy (Paolo Nutini) Cannonball (Damien Rice) Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) Cruise (Florida Georgia Line) Cry Me A River (Justin Timberlake) Do It Like A Dude (Jessie J) Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright (Bob Dylan) Empire State Of Mind (Jay Z & Alicia Keys) F*** You (Cee Lo Green) Fast Car (Tracy Chapman) Feeling Good (Nina Simone) Gold Digger (Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx) Guiding Light (Foy Vance) Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) Heartbeats (The Knife) Heaven (Emeli Sande) Hit Me Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) Holocene (Bon Iver) Hometown Glory (Adele) Hound Dog (Elvis Presley) I Don’t Want To Be (Gavin DeGraw) I Got A Woman (Ray Charles) I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor Swift) I Need A Dollar (Aloe Blacc) I Shot The Sheriff (Eric Clapton) If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time (R Kelly) Impossible (James Arthur) In Da Club (50 Cent) In My Life (The Beatles) Keep On Moving (Five) Kiss Me (Sixpence None The Richer) Last Ones Standing (Example) Layla (Eric Clapton) Let The Sunshine (Labrinth) Little Lion Man (Mumford and Sons) Little Things (sort of a cover) Livin’ On A Prayer (Bon Jovi) Make You Feel My Love (Bob Dylan) Mama Knew Love (Anthony Hamilton) Man Who Can’t Be Moved (The Script) Masters Of War (Bob Dylan) Moments (sort of a cover) Mr. Jones (Counting Crows) My Eyes Are Red (Laid Black) My Way (Frank Sinatra) Naive (The Kooks) New York (Snow Patrol) No Diggity (Blackstreet) No Scrubs (TLC) Obviously (McFly) Pony (Ginuwine) Pretty Little Thing (Fink) Put Your Lighters Up (Lil Kim) The Real Slim Shady (Eminem) Same Love (Macklemore ft. Mary Lambert) Shine A Light (McFly) Skinny Love (Bon Iver) Slow Dancing In A Burning Room (John Mayer) Smoke Weed Every Day (Snoop Dog ft. Dr Dre) Snowflakes (Passenger) Someone Like You (Adele) Stand By Me (Ben E King) Superstition (Stevie Wonder) Swim Good (Frank Ocean) Thrift Shop (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft.Wanz) Torn (Natalie Imbruglia) Traktor (Wretch 32) Turn My Swag On (Soulja Boy) Valerie (Amy Winehouse) Vincent (Don McLean) Volcano (Damien Rice) Way Down In The Hole (Tom Waits) Wayfaring Stranger We Are Young (Fun.) We Found Love (Rihanna) Welcome To Jamrock (Damian Marley) Where I’m From (Anthony Hamilton) Who You Are (Jessie J) Wild Mountain Thyme Winter (Joshua Radin) Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) Wonderwall (Oasis) 500 Miles (The Proclaimers)
Aries: You think that you’re number 1 at everything. You only have one night stands because that’s all anyone can tolerate of you. Deep inside you are an insecure little hoodlum who only spray paints abandoned buildings because all the “cool kids” are doing it. You always feel the need to TALK LIKE THIS. WE CAN HEAR YOU, ARIES. THERE’S NO NEED TO YELL.
Taurus: You eat everything in the house. You are lazy and refuse to get a job. Your sign is the bull because you look like one. You killed your last cat because you squeezed it too hard. You love music but have no talent whatsoever. Not even a Libra would date you because you’re so possessive.
Gemini: You talk too damn much. You insist that everyone calls you “The Real Slim Shady”. You have limbs like a monkey and lips like a fish. You stay up all night playing video games instead of doing your homework. Stop blowing up my feed with your annoying tweets. Get off the crack and get on the Ritalin.
Cancer: You are moody and a psychopath. If you put rat poison in my food one more time I s2g I’m telling my mom on you. You’re cooking is terrible. Your parenting skills are worse. Your face resembles that of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Your only friend is Pisces because they cry just as much as you do.
Leo: Oh, well isn’t it Little Miss Fabulous? You think you’re the baddest bitch on the block. Newsflash Leo: you’re nothing but a hoodrat. All that animal print you were doesn’t make you look chic; it makes you look ratchet. And your hair looks like a rehash of the 80s. People don’t like being your friend because of all the drama you cause. Also, you’re nothing but a booty call.
Virgo: You are a bitch, Virgo. Nobody can tolerate being around you for more than five seconds because of your constant criticism. Everything has to be perfect for you. If not you have a fucking meltdown and eat babies. Guess what, Virgo? Not everything’s gotta be planned. You weren’t planned.
Libra: I dare you to start a sentence without using the phrase “Oh my God”. You are so shallow. Make up can’t hide everything (especially that HUGE pimple, Libra). You annoy your friends with your constant bitching about your love life. Nobody cares whether he likes you or not. Chances are he probably doesn’t.
Scorpio: Nobody can tell if you hate everybody or if your eyebrows are naturally in a scowl constantly. Your only friends are the emo kids because you both like to read depressing novels and rain on everybody’s parade. Nobody invites you to parties because you look like the Grudge. Everybody still remembers your scene phase and knows where you hide your diary.
Sagittarius: Stop masturbating. Stop making “your mom” jokes. Stop saying hashtag before everything. Saggy, the only people you are impressing with those things are annoying 12 year olds and Aquarians. Nobody likes to hang out with you because by the end of the night you’ll both end up either arrested, in the hospital, or both. They call you the lucky sign because you’re lucky if you make it to 20.
Capricorn: You are quite possibly the most anal-retentive asshole (no pun intended) that I have ever seen. You always complain about having so much work to do. You have so much work because whenever someone tries to help you, you call them “incompetent” and spit in their face. Take a fucking chill pill, Crapricorn. You live off of raw eggs and people’s wishes that never came true.
Aquarius: You are a fucking fruit loop. Nobody likes to be around you because they’re afraid of catching whatever disease that made you that way. You claim to have seen aliens but the only thing you saw was your own reflection. You’re the reason why they invented insane asylums. You claim you’re a genius, but really you’re just senile.
Pisces: Sweet, innocent Pisces. Sweet, innocent, sensitive, irresponsible, ignorant, crybaby Pisces. Your fish died because you forgot to feed it. You make all of your friends uncomfortable with your incessant crying. We all know you pick your nose. Slenderman is real and he peeks in your window at night.
About Eminem: he actually plays a character, a persona, aka Slim Shady. Whenever he starts talking shit and offending every and anyone, it is Slim Shady talking/rapping. Not actually who Eminem is. Eminem is the artistic name of Marshall Mathers. It is his art, his work, not himself. A character, NOT DIFFERENT from the characters on books you might read or movies you might watch. Killers, rapists, racists, homophobics, transphobics, whatever. They are mere characters. Not real persons. Kisses.
Louis was really into it, smiling, waving chatting with the others
Liam and Niall did the bulk of the talking. Both spoke very well. Louis and Zayn both introduced songs and thanked the audience. Louis thanked the band and called Josh the “Real Slim Shady”
Louis was winding Niall up and tried to get Niall to say a joke. He couldn’t think of one but they had been reading the jokes on Penguin Biscuits so he said “What kind og birthday cake do penguins have? Fishcake”. (it wasn’t very funny)
Harry went for a first bump with Zayn but he missed it and Harry smiled to himself.
Liam wished his friends good luck who are having a baby in 3 weeks.
Harry was struggling at the beginning of SOML.
Harry wished Anne and Robin ‘happy 1st wedding anniversary’ and said “thank you for letting me borrow you womb” you could hear the other boys say “What?” and Liam looked like he wanted to throw up. Harry just smirked.
Louis was a bit slow on the power couple strut during LBD but he did better in the next one. Defo still there.
No Insta questions but a chorus of wonder all lead by Niall instead.
Liam said to the audience "you look good, you sound good, you are good, whoo girl power!“ Noticing Zayn looking at him "What’s up Zayn?”
Zayn “liked where you were going with that”..!!!????