who i just found out has a girlfriend

shit my girlfriend has said to me

“bye i’m gay”
“i found candles in the shape of cacti”
“dogs are too good for us”
“what would this world do without me?”
“i can happily rub your butt if it’ll make you feel better”
“please give me your dog”
“what’s that bee movie even about?”
“i can’t believe i’m dating a furry”
“your fetish is getting out of hand”
“i was just in the shower and i was thinking about how we should watch shrek”
“who needs a cat when you’re dating someone who is like a cat?”
“those white haired anime boys are your weakness”
“you know i’m weak for thighs”
“at least you’re like an anime character now”
“if it makes you feel better, i think you’re 100% punk”
“why are cats scared of cucumbers?”
“i’m scarred for life thanks to them”
“you won’t believe what i just did”
“i’m gonna blame it on the vodka i had”
“are you implying that you love my pick-up lines?”
“were you laughing at the person crying?!”
“that’s pretty dramatic for a sports anime”
“you’re making me suffer with you”
“what’s your fursona?”
“you’re the only furry i’d date”
“i can’t believe i’m dating an anime nerd”
“what’s that anime about? is it about dogs?”
“why do so many of them hate dogs?”

A Great Pair (Thayne Jasperson x Reader (Platonic))

Request: Hi ! Can you write something with Thayne Jasperson like he has a sister but they don’t really look alike and she started coming over to the theater a lot. Finally the company got so curious they decided to corner Thayne and asked him about his new ‘girlfriend’ at which he just laughed and walked away. They finally found out from Lin (who has been trying to not spoil them with the truth) who she was, and they welcomed her with open arms and everything ? It’s so long I’m sorry !

Word Count: 535

Warning(s): Like 2 curse words, sibling being mistaken as partner (if that makes you uncomfortable)

A/N: This one was fun to write! I’m so sorry that it’’s so short, but it felt like it should be a shorter story.

You let out a small laugh as you walked beside your brother, Thayne. For the past about two weeks you had started to visit Richard Rodgers Theater with him, after realizing your newfound passion for the music of Hamilton.

Now, you loved the lyrics, but you meant the instrumental that had been so expertly put together by Alex Lacamoire.

When you told Thayne about this passion, he was quick to start bringing you with him so you could start sitting in on the orchestra practicing in the pit and start talking to Lac.

As you two walked into the theater, you were quick to be swept away by Lac, who was quickly starting to ramble that he created a new piece the night before. Though you were excited to hear it, you stopped him.

“One second, Lac.” You said with a small laugh. You turned and gave Thayne a small hug and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you later. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to see you as Seabury.” You smiled as you earned a small shove from him in Lac’s direction. You waved and allowed yourself to be pulled away to the orchestra pit.

Thayne watched you two, extremely amused. He let out a laugh before making his way onstage, where he saw the rest of the company getting ready for Story of Tonight.

He gave a wave as he heard 'hello’s from those onstage.

He glanced around for a moment, watching (Y/N) and Lac entering down to the pit.

“Alright. I have a question.” He looked over as he heard Anthony.

“We all have a question.” Jon corrected, earning confirmations from the others.

Thayne rose an eyebrow. “Alright. Shoot.”

“Why did you never tell us you have a new girlfriend?” Anthony asked.

This caused Thayne to freeze. However, very quickly, he started to laugh. He earned looks as his laughter continued and he walked offstage and towards the dressing room he shared with the other male ensemble members.

The confusion only grew as Lin snorted and burst into laughter, resembling Thayne’s laughter.

“Okay. What the hell is all the laughter about?” Daveed was quick to question, crossing his arms.

Lin took a moment to calm down, before looking at them. “You guys are hilarious.” He breathed, smiling at their confused looks. “Guys, she’s not his girlfriend.” He earned 'huh’s from them. “She’s his little sister.”

As soon as Lin answered, you peaked your head out of the entrance to the pit, wanting to go sit and watch them practice. Lac’s new piece was definitely beautiful. However, you were pulled from your thoughts about his piece as soon as you were pulled off of your feet by Oak.

“Thayne never told us he had a sister!” Carleigh said with a bright smile.

You smiled and patted Oak’s arm, causing him to put you down onto your feet.

“Oh he didn’t?” You asked and looked over as Thayne walked on stage, changed into more comfortable clothing.

“Thayne Jasperson.” You said, causing your older brother to freeze and let out a small 'shit’.

As he turned and ran off, you were quick to follow him.

“Well, aren’t they a great pair?” Lin commented with a smile.

Community Sentence Starters
  • " We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that's canon. "
  • " If I come over there, there are gonna be two sounds: me hitting you...twice. "
  • " Let's do what people do. Let's get a house we can't afford and a dog that makes us angry. "
  • " I don't really know how girlfriends work, but I don't think you have one any more. "
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  • " I've never been to LegoLand. I just wanted you to think I was cool. "
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  • " I had to hitchhike home last night in a burrito truck. It's not as fun as it sounds. "
  • " I am not well-adjusted. More often than not, I am barely keeping it together. I am constantly texting...and there is no one at the other end. "
  • " And I asked myself, what does space smell like? "
  • " Clean up on aisle busted. "
  • " Tinkletown. "
  • " If you have anything else do say, say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards. "
  • " Six seasons and a movie. "
  • " '___' don't make jokes, you're bad at it! "
  • " Who the hell are you always texting? Everyone you know is right here! "
  • " Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of bed. "
  • " You are the AT&T of people. "
  • " Oh I'm serious, baby. I am Yahoo Serious. I'm Serious FM. Welcome to the world serious of seriousness sponsored by Honey Nut Seerioes. "


Okay so there’s this guy I’ve known for years. We used to be friends and all but like I distanced myself from him cause he was kinda toxic and nakakaputangina yung ugali niya so I distanced myself. LIKE I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO FAKE A PERSONA WITH HIM AND WHY SHOULD I, RIGHT? Like, if I don’t like him, I don’t have to stick around. And he could fuckin see how I don’t like him. I don’t hate on him okay. Suplada lang me. But it’s because he fucks with so much people and it isn’t even funny. (Trust me, a lot of people who knows him have said the same). I just found out he’s been telling his friends how I’m crazy about him. How like I talk to him coldly because he has a girlfriend and galit ako, ganon. So I was like “wtf? uhhhh”. So I told him to stop and he was denying and shit and that’s cool. Di ko na pinilit because like half of myself doesn’t really care. And I can’t stop laughing right now because he fucking got so mad at me telling me that I ruined his night and all. Like I fucking cut off the conversation na. Legit. I was like “okay. that’s fine.”. I even told him to calm down and he was so mad and then he was like “Thanks. You ruined my night. Bye”. Like? I didn’t even get mad at him, legit. I just cut it off so quickly. Once he said he never said anything like that, I was like “okay. that’s fine”. And then he got so mad. Bakit ganon. Like, I willingly left it and dropped it. Wtf. Hahahahaha funny. 


So I just found out that Park Jimin had to apologise to the fans for hugging a girl on Star King. And this just makes me stop and wonder: IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO COMMENT ON THIS?!? He is an individual human being who has been completely dehumanised and objectified by some of his so called fans that he is unable to hug another human being for a split second without someone freaking the fuck out. This is just plain ridiculous. I get that they (BTS) call Armies their girlfriends and stuff, but it’s a joke and if anyone takes that serious then I hate to break it to you but you are living in a compete illusion and if you think because of this it gives you any right to comment and demand apologies for a hug than you are just plain delusional!

I’m actually crying like, I never wear lotion and it’s always been a big thing that id never accept lotion or have lotion to share with people. I absolutely hate the greasy feeling on my hands after applying it– or even on my skin at all sometimes. 

I just put on some Johnson’s baby lotion my girlfriend gave me and it dried with a soft, baby powder like feeling on my skin instead of feeling greasy or sticky.

I found lotion that doesn’t freak me out and feel greasy and I’m so happy!!!!!!!! I just wanted to share in case this information can help anyone else who has this problem too!

hi, i’m Emily, i’m an unemployed 31 year old trans woman and it’s my birthday on the 9th of January, but this isn’t about me getting stuff, as much as i would like a nice garlic press >.> i have some savings and live with my parents and am out to and get on well with my mother which is a situation i know is better than a lot of other trans people out there. my girlfriend is not anywhere near as fortunate that though, i’m sure anyone who follows me can remember that i used to reblog her donation post a couple of times a day but she had to delete her blog a few months ago and only just remade.
her parents are invasive, abusive and controlling, Elly had to remake her blog because her mother found it and was reading it behind her back and has threatened to call the police on her, since she was forcibly outed to them her dad has bounced between yelling and angry outbursts and ignoring her. they invaded her privacy and went through her room while she was visiting me in July and her living situation has been super unstable since then, she’s been applying for jobs and looking into alternative housing situations but has had no luck since then. she has to pay for her hormones, a lot of her food, car insurance, other medical expenses and pay down some old medical debt every month which makes it extremely difficult to save anything towards moving.
i wish it were possible for her to come live with me and be safe but i live in the UK and she lives in California and well, for two unemployed trans women with very few qualifications that would be Incredibly Expensive and very sadly doesn’t seem feasible any time soon. anyway, i really really hope some of you that see this can donate even a little something her way or at least are able to spread this post so other people might see it and help her, knowing she has something and is a little more secure would make me feel a looot happier for my birthday <3

please donate via paypal to ellythemaxx@gmail.com <3

i get more and more annoyed the more people i see saying caleb treats spencer better than toby has. like really? the guy left his girlfriend crying who just found out her mother has cancer again to have a drink with his ex girlfriend. not only that, when spencer was upset about him leaving the barn (which was unnecessary dramatic of her tbh, he’s leaving the barn not the country) all he said was “i know you do” like???? does he even care about her at all? he didn’t even say “i want to stay too” or anything along those lines. literally all they fucking do is have sex and kiss. caleb doesn’t even show real feelings towards her. or hanna. or anyone. he’s the biggest asshole this season and i’m so sick of him. 

don’t even try to tell me that toby wouldn’t have held spencer all night long if that’s what it took to make her feel better after getting the news about her mother being sick. not only because he would understand since he dealt with something similar, but because he knows what spencer needs and that’s why spaleb will never work. he looks absolutely clueless around her most of the time and has no idea how to react to how she’s feeling. toby knows her better than anybody else and i don’t see that changing ever.