who hired this guy

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

how does harry manage to update his fashion sense with each of his eras?

2012 - sweet dorky kid who might offer to pay for your ice cream and will want to “take it slow, yeah?”

2013 - some bratty frat boy who always gets what he wants but you would still let him fuck up your life

2014 - the matured ex frat boy who left the frat when he got educated on “no means no” and “rape culture” & switched his major to art or some bullshit like that

2015 - that one guy who spends WAY too much time at record stores flipping through queen and the rolling stones commenting about how he “listened to this shit wayyy before it was fucking hipster” even tho he was born in the ‘90s

2016 - the cute new dude who your boss just hired and all the girls (and some guys) in the office have a crush on and so you try to find him on social media but he has absolutely none

2017 - intimidating as fuck guy who gets iced coffee every single morning at 7 am with some weird ass bell bottoms on but when you actually have a convo he just starts crying about how much he loves the bees and “we need to save them at all costs”

I think I took my old company down over a $240 dispute.

I’m honestly not sure if this belongs here, or in @petty-revenge-stories, but I thought you guys might get a bit of a chuckle over this.

Sorry, it’s long.

I was the lead editor for a production house. We did mostly commercials, for radio and television. Small company, but we did pretty well for the most part, but being a small company jobs overlapped, and since I know how to use Google, I also became the “IT” guy.

I worked at this production house for 8 years. Overall, I was pretty content there. I made some awesome friends, but my boss (the owner / production manager) was a real dick. He was the kind of guy who would hire people for as little money as possible, and get them to work 12-16 hour days for the fucking experience.

My boss was the kind of person who would tell you on a daily basis how great a boss he was; how effective a leader he was. Every day wasting his time and money on ridiculous meetings that literally took half a day and consisted of nothing meaningful, but a huge amount of head-inflation. He would routinely deny people any kind of monetary raise, even after years of experience, saying that the company could not afford that. All while he furnished his private office, which was an entire floor above the rest of the office space, with extravagant furniture and expensive decorations.

I could honestly make an entire post on how awful a boss / terrible a person this guy was, so after some quick reflection on how much typing I want to do today, here’s a list of the worst things he was doing on company time:

  • Drinking and driving
  • Would routinely get me to pirate software for him, including software we used to actually run the business
  • Not putting anyone on payroll, which means you are forever a “freelancer” at this company
  • Hired a company who would build an entire second story to the office without a permit
  • Somehow crossing the Canada-US border drunk and with open alcohol
  • Withholding people’s pay
  • Buying things for the office; stealing them for his home
  • No vacation time / pay
  • he expected all of us to either work through a client’s funeral, or take a couple of hours as “no pay leave”)
  • He would degrade all employees, but he was way more harsh on the female employees
  • Would literally scare people into submission
  • Micromanage everything. Blame employees for following directions.

Anyways the list goes on and on. But for the most part, non of this really affected me, until his wife started working for the company.

She was hired on after being fired elsewhere, as our accountant. She would track our hours every day, making sure to conveniently neglect any extra time we put in over weekends, or after hours. Somehow, even after working a 50-60 hour week, she would come after employees saying they were only available for 30 hour or so. Again, these were all things that never really affected me, until Christmas 2015.

I got notice two days before our Christmas paycheck, via email, that the accountant was going to take $240 or so off my regular pay, because I had left the office for two hours during the week. I calmly replied to the email that we all gotta do what we gotta do, and hopped online and started applying to editing jobs elsewhere.

I told my wife about this, and got irrationally mad about it.

Nearly instantly, I was offered a job from my current employer, which I accepted. At that point I told my wife I give my old employer a year before they close down.

We made a list, and dealt with each item to the best of our abilities.

I anonymously reported both my boss and his wife for drunk driving, as well as letting a couple of my cop buddies know about it. On my boss’ Facebook page, he was complaining about how many times he had been pulled over recently. He seems to still be driving, but at least it was an inconvenience to them.

I reported the software piracy. The pirated software was Windows, Microsoft Office, and the Adobe Creative Suite. Adobe didn’t do anything, but Microsoft took it pretty seriously, and I heard from one of my old coworkers that they didn’t fight the fines.

I also filled out form CPT1-E (I think that’s what it was called), which is designed to help employers and employees understand whether or not employees should be on payroll or not. From what I gather through the grapevine, this let to something called a forensic audit, which seems to have led to a lot of back payments or something. I’m not an accountant, and I don’t really know how all this works, but from what I understand my old employer ended up paying quite a few fines. This is all unconfirmed grapevine stuff though.

I reported locally regarding the floor that was built without a permit. More grapevine stuff, but it seems that made selling the office a little more difficult. So I’ll add that to the win pile.

So anyways, I was wrong. I told my wife it would be a year and they would be shut down. It took a year and 3 months. The company is officially closing March 31, 2017. I don’t know if any of my actions are directly responsible for the closure, but I’d like to think I at least pushed it in that direction.

Slime Boyfriend

Since I got some asks for a slime or goo monster and I promised to do some SFW works, I give you this! I had so much fun with these characters and I will come back to them again for sure. Maybe the next time you see them will be an NSFW story.


You’ve been working with a new partner at the precinct, which usually wouldn’t be an issue at all, but they were a by-the-book, no-nonsense caricature. Going out on patrol and duty was an exasperating experience. You used to love your job, you had a great partner before, but this new guy came through the door and your chief excitedly passed you off onto him.

   Officer Sebastian, as he insisted you call him, was tall, always looking down at you as if you were beneath him. Sure, you were shorter than most of the others in the precinct, but none of them looked down on you. He seemed miffed to be partnered with a human anyway. You were quite sure what he looked like because he always had to wear a form containment suit in order to keep his shape and work normally. All you should see of him was his one giant eye behind the glass dome for his head.

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Protection for the Hat

So I recently joined a new campaign, and we just had our first session. We have a dragonborn fighter (me), a shardmind bard, a human psion, and a fey raccoon sorcerer. The raccoon is currently sitting on the dragonborn’s head bluffing everyone successfully that he is actually a hat. 

NPC who hired us: So you guys will need magical protection from the forest’s enchantment. I have these tokens here that will keep your sense of direction intact. (Gives one to the three of us).

Raccoon (texted): Hey can you get me one too?

Me (texted): Umm I’ll try.

Me: So… can I have a token for my hat?

NPC: Your… hat?

Me: Umm yeah, I just want to make sure it doesn’t get lost either, you know?

Shardmind: It’s a very important hat, very sentimental to her. (Succeeds the bluff)

 NPC: Uhhh… ok then…. 

I put the token on top of the “hat” and then later the raccoon proceeds to eat it. Luckily it’s an area of effect enchantment.

The Maid

Characters: reader, Dean, Sam

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, Dom!dean, sub!reader, praise!kink, orgasm denial, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected sex

Word count: 3411

Summary: when you take up a new job as a maid at the bunker, you may have a slight crush on your boss; Dean.

A/N: happy Valentine’s Day, here some Dean smut for you beautiful people

You were running late to your job interview. It wasn’t like you weren’t prepared or didn’t leave on time, but this place was very hidden. You were in desperate need of money so you decided to go to an interview to become a maid at a bunker. You had seen the ad for the job, you didn’t have to book an interview you just had to show up between the time 3:00pm-5:30pm. It was 6:30pm and you had only just arrived outside of this bunker.

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anonymous asked:

Can you compile the best (in your opinion) or maybe nice fake dating and fake marriage au (ofc with happy ending) that u have known so far?

Anon, you have done it.  I LOVE fake dating.  And there are some GREAT YoonMin ones out there.  These are the BEST in my Opinion.  P. S, I think most fake dating stories are GREAT! That’s why this list may be a little long.

Fake Dating

The first fake dating story I will put on this list is a CLASSIC! CLASSIC I SAY!

When You’re in Love All the Lines Get Blurred by jflawless

Jimin isn’t sure what possessed him to lie to his mother and tell her that he had a boyfriend, but now that he’s opened the position, he has no choice but to fill it. Yoongi is, apparently, his only option.  ( A YoonMin Classic!)


Nudes in Return by SnAnYu

Jimin thinks that fake dating his friend Yoongi will help him get together with his crush Taemin and helps him out for his photography project in return.

Little did Jimin know that fake dating his friend would stir up his life completely.  (Rated: M, LOVE)


Craigslist Date by springrain21

Min Yoongi’s family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won’t stop nagging him about how he’s still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone’s fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can’t help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi’s family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn’t know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever?

Inspired by that tumblr post about the guy on Craigslist who you can hire to be your date for Thanksgiving to screw with your family because that post makes me cry laughing every time I see it. (Rate:M, A FAVE)


You Belong in My Arms by stahprapmon18

So Yoongi was stood up by his date…
And Jimin needed someone to be his fake date to escape his own blind date


The Dutiful Brother and His Sister’s Way Too Handsome Boyfriend by  TangoMcGrand 

Yoongi’s sister Hani is fake-dating Jimin to hide from her mother that she’s gay, but Yoongi doesn’t know this. All Yoongi knows is that he has had a not-so-little crush on Jimin for over a year and that its kinda hard to be a supportive dutiful brother when Jimin is just too blindingly beautiful.


i’ll be a gentleman (‘cause i’ll be your boyfriend) by yururin 

Yoongi isn’t an easy man to surprise, but kisses out of the blue and sudden boyfriend proposals can do the job.


Lying To Ourselves by parkjizzmin

When Jimin arranges a double-date with his ex-boyfriend Yoongi he has to bring Taehyung as a fake-date, but his facade doesn’t go down too successfully…  (Rated: M)


One car please, is the boyfriend extra? by kimnamjin

jimin swallowed down the nervousness in his throat as he dialed the number on his phone, his heart almost stopping as the line picked up and a voice sounded on the other side.

“Hello this is Bangtan Rent-A-Car, yoongi speaking, how can I help you?”


under false pretences by offthebeat

getting a fake boyfriend while your real boyfriend looks on to the side and pretends to be someone else has got to be one of the worst ideas jimin’s ever heard. yet, here he is, doing exactly just that, and jimin has to wonder what in the ever loving hell did he get himself into.  (My FAVE reverse fake dating story)


Bet On Me by TheNevemore

Yoongi should have known better than to make a bet with Hoseok and Jin, but he just couldn’t help himself. Now he has to find a date to the carnival or else he’ll be out fourty bucks. Maybe Jimin would be willing to pretend to be his date… That’d work, right?







Fake Marriage

An Aperture in Fine Balance by blurrylines

in which Yoongi is an up and coming rapper whose fame had blown up in Korea, traveled throughout Asia and has now landed him in the States. Meanwhile, Jimin is in America to study photography and find success in this land of freedom. Except for one problem. His school’s policy for financial aid requires him to be either over the age of 24, have a child, or be married.

Considering the fact that he’s only 21 and can’t have a kid, Jimin is left with the last option.

That’s where Yoongi comes in the picture.


They Call Me Homewrecker by orphan_account

“Slow down, back up, take it from the top. I thought you were flirting with that really hot sophomore last night. Jimin, right? What happened to him?” Hoseok demanded, poking Yoongi’s head. “Where the hell did you find a married man?”

“Jimin was the married man,” Yoongi groaned. (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE)


ringa linga by jeosheo

Best man Yoongi needs to pick up the rings for his best friends’ wedding. The problem? The clerk won’t hand them over.

Enter lifesaver and fake-fiancé, Jimin.


ENJOY!

Story: We’re searching for a necromancer that we have to “clean”. Out shady job givers have directed us to a tree stump 40minutes outside of Neverwinter that a long time ago served as a druid temple.The guy who hired us told us to prepare against mind control. So our Ranger promptly buys an iron bucket and walks with it over his head.

Scene: While exploring the temple we stumble upon a giant statue of Auril, goddess of winter. All of a sudden a door opens and 4 humanoids run in.

Leader of humanoids: What are you doing here?
Player 1 (Me a Wizard): We’re the cleaning crew.

At which the Ranger places his bucket on the floor and the Cleric takes her giant warhammer and pretends to soak it into the bucket and she’s scraping the floor with it.

Needles to say the humanoids where not impressed.

guys talking about fucking females isn’t sexist. Heterosexual guys are allowed to talk about the ppl they’re sexually attracted to damn y’all get mad about everything, nobody ever says that bs when lesbians talk abt girls all the time. Also guys only wanting to fuck a female aren’t sexist either. They’re allowed to not want a romantic relationship. If a woman did it you ignorant fucks would be like “yasssss #playhisass waste his time!!!” it goes both ways. Guys who only want to have a relationship w attractive women aren’t sexist. He’s allowed to have a preference.

guys who wouldn’t hire a woman because she is a woman is sexist. guys who say that women only matter to him if they are having sexual relations are sexist. guys who think all women are dumb are sexist. please know the difference, guys don’t deserve to be demonized for no reason, stop being sensitive to everything.

What she says: I’m fine.

What she means: What is going on? Who are you guys? Did Patrick Spring hire you? If not then what are you? Are you detectives? No, because you’re a–you’re a bellhop! You were at the hotel! And you––you’re who? What, the FBI? No? Then how does the FBI figure into this? Who shot Ned? How did you know that Farah Black was going to be in that apartment? I mean what kind of crazy coincidence is that? Where’s the kitten? And where’s my dog? Why did you burn down my house? Who has my dog right now? Is it the police? Do the police have my dog? Who beat up Ed and Zed? Was it your guys? Other guys? How many different sets of guys are in this situation? How does Patrick Spring be in two places at the same time?

5

LISTEN…. i love everything about this dialog but the part that absolutely blew my mind was just… tony wondering if ultron can still be good…… listen to me…. this is something i miss so much in both the mcu and most comics nowadays…. my son… the guy who would hire ex-convicts without looking at their records at all… the guy who would wax lyrical about the value of second chances with minimal prompting… the guy who was manipulated by villains multiple times exactly because he was so intense about Believing That People Can Get Better… the guy who fell in love with villains multiple times…. the guy who refused to kill based on the premise that everyone deserves a chance to turn themselves around… the guy who looked at the system that fostered a crime instead of condemning the criminal…. the guy who hasn’t given up on you even after you gave up on yourself… listen……. LISTEN….. MY SON……..

P L U S that delicious contextual layer of ULTRON HAS HIS BRAINWAVES SO REALLY TONY’S WORRIES ALSO TIE BACK TO THE HOPES HE HAS FOR HIMSELF AND HIS SELF-IMAGE and anyway this event is 739283629x better than the actual movie it’s based on lmao

anonymous asked:

any good strangers to lovers AU? thank you so much!!

I think I can hook you up anon.


YoonMin Strangers To Lovers 


Craigslist Date by springrain21

Min Yoongi’s family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won’t stop nagging him about how he’s still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone’s fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can’t help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi’s family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn’t know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever?

Inspired by that tumblr post about the guy on Craigslist who you can hire to be your date for Thanksgiving to screw with your family because that post makes me cry laughing every time I see it. (LOVE, Rated:M)


The Letter Thief by d4wndust

Min Yoongi receives a text from an unknown number and it seems to be a suicide note.
Park Jimin says his goodbyes through a text, but to a wrong number.

Min Yoongi makes Park Jimin live a little longer and Park Jimin makes Min Yoongi start living. (Warning: Character Death)


Summer Wine by mintsoda 

“‘No, uhm—,’ Yoongi lifts a hand to the back of his head and ruffles his hair a little. ‘I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, actually, if that’s what you mean.’

Taehyung’s face lights up like a Christmas tree set on fire and Jimin prepares himself for the unpreparable.

‘Our Jimin here is single, too!’ Taehyung beams and he cannot believe he just said that.”

In which Jimin and Yoongi are both the fifth wheel in their group of dating friends during their summer vacation on Okinawa – but not for long.


41 by canberrx

“By the way, I’m Yoongi.”

“Jimin.”

//

Yoongi x Jimin
One-Shot (a really long one) (Rated:M)


Honey’s Secret by mintsoda

Me: So, are you going to send me a selca now or not?

Jimin is getting a little impatient now. He needs that picture, and he needs it now.

Me: hyung hyung hyung

Me: pretty please?

Yoongi hyung: Later, Jimin. I’m still at work and I really want to continue earning money by talking about sex toys on the phone with you

Yoongi hyung: And I have a feeling you enjoy those conversations as well.” (LOVE, Rated: M)


Do You Like Your Drafts Rough? by melecs

As a romance novelist, one would think Min Yoongi would have his own romantic life sorted out a little more than he actually did. Because instead of being in a happy, nauseating relationship, Yoongi was juggling both a one-sided crush and some punk who lived downstairs.  (LOVE, LOVE, Rated: M)


perfect blue by pettey

While contemplating the loss of his job in the middle of an urban mini-mart on White Day, Yoongi meets a strange truck driver and decides that going on an impromptu road trip would be good for him. (LOVE, Rated:M)


is this really just a one day sale (because i think i want you every day) by infires (infires_man)

Park Jimin thinks he’s landed a job in a departmental store, but it turns out that he is forced against his will by his boss to stand awkwardly beside an escalator and hand out flyers advertising the store’s one day sale for eight hours on end.

Just when he thinks things won’t be getting any worse, the slacker whose job is simply to lounge at the wine counter keeps coming to make sarcastic remarks at him. (This also qualifies as enemies to lovers)


No more flowers by NeyleiTarento

“You’re dirty,” Yoongi remarks, pointing with his finger at the Tangerine boy’s backside. Maybe the florist was too lazy to clean up the counter properly the day before and now Jimin’s jeans were dirty. Well. He shouldn’t have sat there, it’s his own fault.

“You bet I am,” Jimin says and somehow, Yoongi feels like it has nothing to do with the remains of cut stems on his jeans.

aka Min Yoongi is a florist and Jimin is a fuckboy who comes every week to buy a new bouquet for his new girlfriend. At least that’s what Yoongi thinks.

(Also, the title is a little depressing but this is actually pretty darn cute, at least I think so.)


Look into my heart (The unspoken promise) by Sandeunngo

Yoongi was looking forward to spending a wonderful vacation with his boyfriend, just to be dumped on the first day…

So did Jimin.


I hope you like these.

anonymous asked:

Life is Strange - Victoria dresses up as a princess for a kid's birthday party, and the kid's crying because Victoria's mean

New HC Accepted: Victoria is NoT Good with kids~

sarah’s ultimate fic rec (1/?)

this is only part one because i read too much. i’m making this bc i rly needed a place to organize everything (my ao3 bookmarks are a nightmare yikes), so here! have this! it’s categorized by ship, so it should be easy to navigate your way around.

this one only includes the following ships: yoonmin, yoonkook, vmin, taekook & taegi. i tried to limit myself to 10/20ish fics per ship bc i didn’t want it to get too long, so i’ll add the rest later on & i’ll also include other ships in the next post!

total: 20 yoonmin fics, 23 yoonkook fics, 15 vmin fics, 11 taekook fics, 8 taegi fics (77 fics overall).

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spring awakening kids as the psat 2017

moritz: king richard iii being found under a parking lot 

melchior: shrimp of a husband

hanschen: book store relative 

ernst: the tidy room

otto: sea grass

georg: NO CHANGE

wendla: k-8 school live building that you can profit off of in 8-10 years

ilse: artist colony 

martha: loosing $25,000 in the stock market

anna: massaging heirloom tomatoes with electric toothbrushes 

thea: brandon stanton

melitta: the guy who hired two movers to move down the hall

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40 Years of Three’s Company: March 15th, 1977

“It’s in the consciousness, and that is great. Because we were on so long. As long as people who hire and fire don’t pigeonhole me as a guy in a sitcom with a guy and two girls, then I’m fine. I loved that character. I loved that show. It was tense for one year. But one year out of nine is not a bad ratio. I loved going to work. I loved Dave Powers and all of the great people on the crew. I loved doing rehearsals. There were certain times that I was sleepy or tired or sick, but I always knew how lucky I was. I always knew, ‘I’m having the time of my life.’ I’ve had joyous times since then, and a lot of the joyous times are because of Three’s Company, because of the popularity. So I’m no fool. I know that people know your name as the character. But it truly is a love-love relationship.”  - John Ritter, excerpt from “Come and Knock on Our Door: A Hers and Hers and His Guide to Three’s Company” by Chris Mann

i think what i love about amy and jonah is that they're such a Classique example of opposites attract?? like from the very first episode you get the dichotomy of amy as v v pragmatic, she’s a realist, she’s very aware of her limitations. and then jonah swoops in and he’s very like “find beauty in the small moments” and a starry-eyed romantic dreamer (just got in a car and kept driving til i stopped for gas and saw somewhere that was hiring: that’s not the actions of a guy who is super rooted in reality and sensibility); and I think what makes them so absolutely lovely is that he pushes her to be kinder to herself/more selfish while you can kinda see jonah’s shift into being a little more engaged in the real world. also like,,, they’re just so sweet and goofy when they’re together. it’s not super explicit like it is with other couples that i ship, definitely, but i think they do push each other to be their best selves. idk i just think the first episode sets up the dynamics of their friendship perfectly…,,,