who hired this guy

Story: We’re searching for a necromancer that we have to “clean”. Out shady job givers have directed us to a tree stump 40minutes outside of Neverwinter that a long time ago served as a druid temple.The guy who hired us told us to prepare against mind control. So our Ranger promptly buys an iron bucket and walks with it over his head.

Scene: While exploring the temple we stumble upon a giant statue of Auril, goddess of winter. All of a sudden a door opens and 4 humanoids run in.

Leader of humanoids: What are you doing here?
Player 1 (Me a Wizard): We’re the cleaning crew.

At which the Ranger places his bucket on the floor and the Cleric takes her giant warhammer and pretends to soak it into the bucket and she’s scraping the floor with it.

Needles to say the humanoids where not impressed.


LISTEN…. i love everything about this dialog but the part that absolutely blew my mind was just… tony wondering if ultron can still be good…… listen to me…. this is something i miss so much in both the mcu and most comics nowadays…. my son… the guy who would hire ex-convicts without looking at their records at all… the guy who would wax lyrical about the value of second chances with minimal prompting… the guy who was manipulated by villains multiple times exactly because he was so intense about Believing That People Can Get Better… the guy who fell in love with villains multiple times…. the guy who refused to kill based on the premise that everyone deserves a chance to turn themselves around… the guy who looked at the system that fostered a crime instead of condemning the criminal…. the guy who hasn’t given up on you even after you gave up on yourself… listen……. LISTEN….. MY SON……..

P L U S that delicious contextual layer of ULTRON HAS HIS BRAINWAVES SO REALLY TONY’S WORRIES ALSO TIE BACK TO THE HOPES HE HAS FOR HIMSELF AND HIS SELF-IMAGE and anyway this event is 739283629x better than the actual movie it’s based on lmao

A guest actually managed to get me fired...

… because my boss is a coward.

I usually don’t work Saturdays. But last week I did. That’s OK though because I know Saturdays have someone else at the desk. However this particular Saturday that person was not there because my boss didn’t schedule one. So there goes my security and my assistance. There goes my stress relief because he’s my favorite coworker.

So I have a full house. A full house of one ball team and the rest are a bunch of regular customers and government trainees who are accustomed to a level of comfort my small town (and my boss… former boss… doesn’t even attempt to do by hire maintenance guys who can fix things like the mold in the fitness room or buy new weights to replace the missing ones?? People steal random things). I had three (technically 4) problem children.

One was a 3rd party where it put her in a king smoking rather than a 2 queen, nonsmoking. Room 325 who was suppose to be extended a day and was not (the the technical part is the women who I checked into that room). Then the dad and son who got me fired (the dad, not his son).

There are cameras on all 3 floors. Only 2 floors work. You read that correctly.

First hiccup was the 3rd party who I had to send to another hotel on our bill. I called my boss and told him. He was cool with it but wanted to know why I didn’t call her. 1, that’s 1st shifts job but they get a pass and 2, 3rd party only gives you a name so there is no way to call (that’s where that pass comes in). 325 didn’t get extended, again 1st shift but I wasn’t there and she could be lying but she’s nice so I’m not gonna chew her out. I told my boss I’m gonna comp the room and he can look over books in the AM because I don’t have the authorization to like my title is suppose to but does not because my boss won’t put anyone (not even assistant manager) on authorization for review. He was cool with it. Didn’t even act bothered. Said that’s what he’d do.

Then the dad and his kid…

He was mad because all we had left was a study and I would not give him a price of a standard. Of all the things my boss is cool with… that’s not one of them. Like… take it out of your check not cool with it. And that was all I heard of him. For ever. Never saw them for the rest of the night.

I have always told on myself, keep that in mind. I don’t like surprising my boss and gives him the opportunity to prep for whatever goes on. Usually things that are broken that maintenance should have fixed or someone being a fucking racist in my presence.

I get a text on SUNDAY EVENING. AFTER coming into work. It’s 3 paragraphs long of condescending, passive aggressive bullshit telling me I’m fired.

So I call him.

The guy with the kid said I cursed him and screamed at him AND his kid (who has autism) so it took him all night to comfort him. If I was not fired by the time he comes back then he was going to take this to the papers.

Even though there is footage of the opposite.

So my boss fired me. Even if there is footage to show otherwise. I have rent coming up and I live paycheck to paycheck.

  • The Timeless time travel show has Misha Collins! Hello, Misha Collins.
  • Look at Misha Collins in his little hat.
  • Listen to Misha Collins in his Misha Collins voice.
  • Yay! Adorableness!
  • Wait.
  • What?
  • WHAT?!

I’m here to let you know that you needed Babylon 5’s Londo and G'Kar drawn like Lisa Frank, because The 90’s.  (Even more Lisa Frank than the last time I did something like this two years ago!)

I hope you guys like this as much as I loved doing it~

squidmiku  asked:

Fun story my school wouldn't hire the guy who basically CREATED THE TECH that made the effects IN STAR WARS POSSIBLE as a tech teacher be cause his degree wasn't high enough

That’s amazing. Not in a good way.

one of the many nice things ive noticed since getting a job with a company that specifically hires autistic people: 

the guy who just took the desk next to me rocks back and forth in his chair. at first i was concerned, because i only do that when im extremely distressed, but i realized he does it whenever he’s concentrating enough on something to “forget” to act neurotypical. its so endearing. 

Man I just LOVEEE when some crusty ass rude white person is yelling at my Spanish speaking coworkers and I have to step in and as soon as these gringos hear my un accented English their whole attitude shifts and suddenly they’re very Patient and Understanding…like bitch I know what you’re doing…I know what u are…some white lady straight up saying ‘umm not to be rude but why do you guys hire people who can’t speak English well????’ Like BITCH ONE YOU NOT BEING RUDE U BEING RACIST AS HELL AND TWO YOU LIVE IN A TOWN WHERE OVER HALF THE POPULATION IS MEXICAN FUCK OUTTA HERE

Classicaloid theory: End of the world?

Some say the world will end in fire

And some say ice

But for this theory, come along

I believe in Classicaloid

The world will end in song

Greetings! New episode tomorrow so before it’s here, let’s talk more theories! And for me that means we’re gonna talk about Bach’s main plan

Which could spell disaster for the whole world

Spoilers for episode 18 and anything prior!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Mcspirk... dancer au? Bones as a grumpy older choreographer who is SUPER nitpicky about the performance pieces and not at all happy to have a young ballet school dropout kirk, on his company?

  • So they’re all different types of dancers, right. Like Bones would be probably more of a contemporary dancer? But he knows pretty much everything that’s not street/hip hop etc. They have Jaylah for that. (I know nothing about dancing forgive me in advance). And he owns this studio in Manhattan with a few different rooms. Spock is co-owner, mostly in charge of administration, but he teaches these old-fashioned type of dances like Charleston etc. that initially doesn’t seem like his thing at all, but he aces it. 
  • And Spock tells Bones he hires someone new to lead the ballet classes whilst Uhura is on maternity leave. Bones is initially just like how bad could it be because it’s only temporarily and there are plenty of professional dancers in Manhattan. Instead, Spock hires this quirky guy, who doesn’t follow the traditional rules of ballet and encourages the students even when they are doing it wrong. And Bones finds out when he’s reading Jim’s resume that he never even completed school. “Why is he hired?” Bones asks, towering over Spock as the other sits on the floor to stretch his arms and his legs for an upcoming class. “He’s good,” Spock points out. “His class feels comfortable around him. You could learn a thing or two from that.” Bones grits his teeth at that answer, and just makes sure to give his own pupils hell. 
  • Bones has to leave for a few days to give lectures in a university and when he returns Spock and Jim are just siting together closely, eating their lunch together and Spock is even laughing at something Jim says and that’s just bizarre. Maybe Bones is a little jealous.
  • And his ratings go up because Jim is so well liked for some reason, but he doesn’t stick to the rules. Bones teaches him a new performance but Jim likes to give his own swing to it and Bones grits his teeth. “That’s not how it goes,” he just says, watching Jim effortlessly stand on his toes and twirl around. Jim rests his hands on Bones’ shoulders, and Bones tries not to look flustered. “Relax, Bones. It’ll be fine. Dancing is about letting go a little bit, remember? I think you’re just a little tensed.” “I just like my performance pieces to be done well. So do it well.” Bones replies. 
  • Spock taking Bones out to an actual play, because it’s been a while. And they dress up nice in suits and have a fancy dinner first, and Spock listens to Bones talking obsessively about their newest recruit. “Sounds like you’re pulling pigtails, kind of,” Spock says, and Bones snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
  • Spock actually takes Bones to one of Jim’s dance performances. Initially, Bones is like are you kidding me Spock, but Jim is actually really good. And he doesn’t stick to the rules and he doesn’t perform the way Bones - or many others - would expect him to do, but it’s somehow even more beautiful that way. Bones won’t admit it, but he’s definitely a little emotional afterwards. “How bad was that?” Spock asks afterwards, and Bones only answers: “Terrible.” But Spock smiles because he knows it’s not true. 
  • So Bones warms up to Jim a little bit, and Jim teaches him “how to break rules beautifully” because apparently that’s an art form and Jim is currently a master in it, so so he says himself. His own students notice Bones warming up a little too, and they’re more chatty, just slightly less intimidated, and maybe even twice as appreciative as they were before. 
  • So when Uhura comes back and Jim’s contract is coming to an end, Bones walks up to him on his last day. “What are you going to do after this?” he asks, and Jim shrugs. “I guess, maybe back to school.” He replies, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “I love teaching, but you guys were pretty much the only ones hiring me despite being under-qualified.” “You’re not underqualified,” Bones says, clearing his throat and glancing in Spock’s direction as he approaches them, too. “Listen, kid, I’m sorry I was an ass to you for most of your stay here.” Bones says, and Jim smiles, patting Bones’ shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, old man.” “What did you just call me, you little s-” “What Leonard is trying to tell you,” Spock interrupts, “is that we would like to offer you a permanent position here with us.” Jim looks shocked, eyeing Bones carefully to make sure if this is a joke or not. “Are you sure?” Jim asks. “I guess,” Bones replies. And when Jim jumps into their arms, arms swinging around both their shoulders as he hugs them close, Bones realizes that, yes, he’s very sure. 
You’re Rather Sassy for Headwear


You know what wasn’t on today’s agenda? Having a conversation with a hat. Emily has mentioned a few times that there is a hat somewhere in this school that magically sorts kids into the houses, but today was the first time I ran into the thing.

I asked it to name the benefits of immediately pitting every student that enters the school in direct competition with ¾ths of the other students. He asked me to name the benefits of a magical school hiring a guy who has the same level of technological experience as any third year with an iPad. I don’t think I’m going to have anymore conversations with him.

EA - What I REALLY want!

Besides the big T, I would HIGHLY appreciate not only more ethnic options but a CAS directory for African hair. Because I’m tired of scrolling through lists and lists of hairstyles that just don’t do my African Sims justice (straighteners aside). Since you included “near to nothing” choices for ethnic hair - please consider this little favour. Wait- what little favour? There are 1.4 billion Black people in the world! Acknowledge the Afro already! 

Another thing - a big thank you to the modders and creators who have made Black simming possible, beautiful and realistic. You know who you are (EA, please hire them). Since I trust you guys more than I trust EA - do any of you modding geniuses think a modification could be made to CAS to able to sort hair like this? And in case you are wondering, I was so frustrated I drew the icon on in Photoshop. Thoughts?

Light, Dark, or Gray? (RP with @kylocanyounot)


‘This is not how I envisioned my day to go!’ Althea thought to herself as she ran from First Order Stormtroopers.

How she expected it to go over was to be highly paid after handing over the plans to Starkiller base to her mystery person. Even the person who hired her was mysterious. Although it was clearly a guy, judging by his voice, she never saw his face.

What she didn’t expect was to be sent to a First Order planet, have her ship break down, get ambushed by Stormtroopers, and start running through the dense forest.

Now, the proper question to ask would be, ‘Why would she accept such a crazy job in the first place?!’ Well, there was a lot of money that was offered. And being on the run, considering how much of a criminal she was, wasn’t cheap. She constantly hopped from planet to planet with her small, white, green, and blue BB unit droid: A-113.

Speaking of which, the little droid was rolling alongside her, matching her pace, while carrying the plans inside of him.

She quickly dove behind a tree and A-113 followed. She caught her breath before digging out her lightsaber, and activated its dark purple blade. She then went back out, and deflected the stormtroopers’ bullets with it, killing them instantly. She then deactivated her lightsaber, and continued to run.

If there was one thing she considered herself lucky for so far, she hadn’t run into Kylo Ren. Considering her background, how her parents were powerful Jedi in the day, and how Kylo had earned the name, “Jedi Killer”, he was someone she was greatly afraid of, and not someone she wanted to meet soon.

You Need A Teacher pt. 3 (final)

| 1 | 2 | 3 |

There’s one teacher at your new school who everyone seems crazy about…and you’re in his class. You soon learn why he’s the talk of the school ;)

Yup…this is the smut part, and the last part. I found this gif and I had to use it holy shit it’s so gorgeous.

Requested by my yoongi 💕

The bell rang, and you closed your book quickly, stuffing it into your backpack. This was your last class of the week, and you could now happily leave and forget all about Professor Min and his biology class.

“Hey new girl, can you stay for a moment?” Yoongi’s voice asked. You stopped, letting your bag flop back on its side. Who even hired this guy to be a teacher? He should be on the cover of some magazine somewhere, not giving students heart attacks instead of education.

The other kids made a lot of noise as they left the room. You stood anxiously as he graded papers. You played with the hem of your skirt, getting too nervous when you stopped moving your fingers.

Keep reading

Phan headcanon that Dan and Phil hired a “social media consultant” who’s really just this guy in charge of making sure no phan moments get out to the public, and every time Dan or Phil uploads a video where Dan has heart eyes or Phil cuts the video at a “touchy” (any context) moment, the “consultant” holds a Skype meeting and yells at Dan and Phil for twenty minutes as they hold hands. And when the guy finally stops yelling, Dan goes, “Listen, ‘consultant,’ Phil and I are in love, end of story. Maybe you should just let us tell the world.” And the consultant storms out, yelling, “That’s the exact opposite of what you’re paying me to do!”