How to Flirt with a Queen like Jon Snow -Finale Update
Step 1) Challenge her: Whatever you do, don’t bend the knee. Be defiant & irrational as hell!
Step 2) Casually drop BDSM subtext into conversation
Step 3) Be Mysterious : Just when your wingmam builds up your backstory, stop him as he is about to disclose the most intriguing information about you. A little something for her to think about when you’re not around.
Step 4) Casually throw in your man-pain into the mix during casual chit chat as you brood and sombrely stare in the distance. Sun setting over the sea in the backdrop helps the aesthetic.
Step 5) Take her to a pretty cave. Girls love dimly lit caves for first dates.
Step 6) Introduce her to your hobbies and interests, which in your case is white walkers and white walkers alone. Couples who nerd out together stay together.
Step 7) Establish non-sexual physical contact to make sure that you’re welcome in her personal space.
Step 8) Tell her you believe in her when she comes to you with a problem. She wants someone to listen, not to problem solve.
Step 9) The key to every single mother’s heart is, gain your future step childrens’ trust. Since her kids are literal fire breathing dragons who could kill you, it’s high risk, high reward. But if you succeed…Boom Overies!
Step 10) When your competition tries to steal your thunder to impress your girl, activate full alpha male irrational mode. It’s a bad plan but it’s worth it because you found out that she fears for your life more.
Step 11) Leave her with a fearless warrior’s goodbye, like the smooth talking bastard you are and hope that she misses you half as much as you did when you waited for her
at the cliff
daily hoping she would return safely from battle.
Step 12) Oh shit she flirted back. Shit…shit…shit…you weren’t prepared for this. Be cool, Jon! Quick, say something normal and Kingly.
Step 13) No situation is too dire to not check in and send a raven to bae, even when a hoard of ice zombies are chasing you. Especially, when a hoard of ice zombies is chasing you, because now that your jealous alpha male daze has passed, you can see that your plan sucks and only bae can save the day.
Step 14) Admire her badassery when she literally descends from the sky on a firebreathing dragon like the angel of death here to save you in your most hopeless moment. Congratulations! You now know how much she loves you. If you are the shortest person in the squad, shove them aside to check out bae.
Step 15) Don’t miss the opportunity to put your heroics on display. If you swing your sword like a total badass, maybe she’ll want to hold your other sword later.
Step 16) Even while dying of hypothermia flex your chest and abs when she’s looking. Gotta be hot and mysterious with those scars until your dying breath.
Step 17) Comfort her as she grieves, apologise for the plan that caused her great loss and most of all now that she’s all in, bend the fucking knee already.
Step 18) Come up with a cute an endearing nickname for her and casually slip it into conversation.
Step 19) Now that you know she has triggering memories of that nickname, settle for her greatest kink instead.
Step 20) Did she just hold your hand? Yes! It really is her greatest kink! Now that you are on on a winning streak like the smooth bastard you are and there’s solid hand holding action going on, don’t let go. Hold on tighter and look at her with those longing direwolf puppy eyes and beg her to stay. You might be at the brink of death but you’ve died before, no big deal, you can muster the strength to bone.
Step 21) Well how about that you horny idiot? You read all the signs wrong! Now is not the time, she’s grieving. Close your eyes to escape this awkward situation before you die of embarrassment and pretend to sleep. You’re doing great sweetie.
Step 22) Declare your loyalty to her at the least opportune time. It might seem ill advised, but you’re not here for politics, you’re here to look sexy in your furcoat & turn on your woman.
Step 23) Now that she’s completely onboard with your zombie killing interests, learn more about her heritage & culture. ‘Couples who nerd out together, stay together’ is a two way street. Gotta learn everything about Dragons & High Valarian quotes.
Step 24) You’ve been a defiant & unimpressed bad boy all this time but in her most hopeless moment, confess how amazing she is in your eyes.
Step 25) As someone who has come back to life even though the witch performing the ritual didn’t believe she could do it, you dont buy into magic birth control setup by low level witches. Slip your ability to impregnate her casually into conversation.
Step 26) Invite her on your boat, nothing sets the room like a romantic cruise.
Step 27) Come on Jon, you’ve fought zombies! Don’t be afraid to ride the dragon…knock on her door already & just barge in like the smooth & take charge bastard you are.
Step 28) Take a moment to really appreciate & let it sink in that you actually are balls deep in your Queen. You did it Jonny boy! You do know some things ;)
Will and Grace
is coming back (28th of September this year) I feel like it’s the perfect time to share something I learned a while ago. John Barrowman, probably best known from Doctor Who, Torchwood and Arrow,
Barrowman was also considered for the role of Will in Will & Grace, but the producers reportedly felt he was “too straight” and the role eventually went to Eric McCormack instead. Like have you seen John Barrowman??!
I met you in the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life, and she was you… Victorian London. There was a governess who was really a barmaid, and we fought the Great Intelligence together. She died and it was my fault, and she was you.
Hey there, my witches! I decided to put together a 30 Days of Witchcraft Challenge that you can answer by photograph, blog post, or both! This will also be hosted on my new Instagram account, so you can participate there as well! (Follow @saltwaterwitchery on IG!)
I have included some ideas below to help get you started. if you participate in the challenge, let me know! I can’t wait to see what you all come up with!
So, I just watched this video on Youtube called How Hamilton Works: Eliza’s Chord Progression by Howard Ho. Basically, it’s a wonderful synthesis and explanation of the musical themes that pervade the show and combine to create Eliza’s own musical theme. This is particularly present in the songs “Burn” and “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?”
At many points in Hamilton, the “Alexander Hamilton” chord progression is played. (The chords that open the show) This chord progression is always accompanied by Aaron Burr asking a question. i.e. “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore…etc, etc” In essence, these chords represent the narrative drive. They further the story. Except, there is one instance (the last instance, in fact) where the chord progression appears without a question. Without Aaron Burr at all, in fact. This is in “Burn”. Most people recognize the Satisfied-sounding chords played by the right hand on piano, but the left hand is the hand that plays a slight variant of the “Alexander Hamilton” chord progression. This is important, because these chords further the narrative. Yet, in this case, the narrative is being destroyed. On the other hand (quite literally, in this sense) the “Satisfied” chords represent family obligation. Combine these two, a variant of the “Alexander Hamilton” chord progression, and a variant of the “Satisfied” chord progression, and we see something special.
In the words of Howard Ho, “So, why would Lin-Manuel Miranda combine these two themes together? He’s trying to tell us something musically. In a song where Eliza sings “I’m erasing myself from the narrative”, it’s even more heartbreaking that she uses the Alexander Hamilton chord progression, which symbolizes forward narrative motion in order to sing about stopping the narrative. No longer a narrative device, the Alexander Hamilton chord progression becomes here a commentary on narrative devices. And it’s combined with the Satisfied run which represents family duty because Eliza is burning the letters to protect her family. But, the Satisfied run has been altered, turned into the minor mode with a more angular presence. This is the dark side of family duty. That, sometimes in order to preserve your family’s history, you have to destroy it.”
However, when we enter the final song, “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?” Eliza has finally put her self back in the narrative. She has forgiven Hamilton for all his wrongs, and is telling his story, yet in her own way. She tells it in a less villainous way than many would. She emphasizes all the great things his ambition provided. Here, we see the same chords of the “Alexander Hamilton” chord progression, the representation of the narrative and of ambition alike, but we see these chords rearranged to something much sweeter. These are Eliza’s chords now.
1. Do you worry more about people judging your mind or body?
2. Does the power lay with the sword or the pen?
3. Describe a mouth without using any anatomical words (teeth, lips, tongue, etc.).
4. What have you accomplished this year?
5. Make a playlist of songs that remind you of one person, title it with their name.
6. What’s a broken heart?
7. Write a journal entry to someone who has come back into your life after hurting you.
8. Do you like the age you’re at?
9. Do last words hold a greatly significant meaning?
10. How does age affect/ limit you?
11. Do you think you’d better parent a girl or a boy?
12. What is the longest period of time you have had a crush on someone?
13. Do you believe in auras?
14. Is religion by nature repressive?
15. Do you need organized religion for spiritual enlightenment?
16. What’s the different between being religious and being spiritual?
17. Is there a special reason why your parents named you what they did?
18. Who demands the most perfection from you?
19. Would you rather be able to fly or teleport?
20. Is your heritage important to you?
21. What is one gift you would like that costs under ten dollars?
22. How many times a day do you lie?
23. Do you think someone’s piercings and hair color should affect their chances of being hired for a job?
24. What judgements do you make about people who have dyed hair and facial piercings?
25. Do you seek pain?
26. Describe your bed and sheets.
27. Are bigger houses better?
28. Make a playlist dedicated to a paternal figure in your life.
29. Do you think your horoscopes are accurate?
30. Talk about people in your life who you consider close but have the habit of sabotaging you.
31. Who is the most frustrating person in your life?
32. Do you pray?
33. Make a list of words that don’t sound appealing.
34. Describe a sound that bothers you? For example, the scratching of a chalkboard.
35. Do you consider your area to be affluent?
36. How has your home life affect your school life?
37. When’s the last time you were in nature?
38. Create a list of words to describe how you feel about the 2016 presidential election.
39. Write a haiku.
40. Will some people never be happy?
41. Is loneliness a mental state of mind or physical state of being?
42. What is one secret that you’re keeping for someone else?
43. What is one secret you are keeping for yourself?
44. Do you find keeping secrets to be easy?
45. Why is it hard to be honest?
46. Can you fall asleep in cars?
47. Is physical touch important to find comfort?
48. What did you do last Friday?
49. Is writing a cathartic process for you?
50. What is the last movie you cried watching?