who else could be this adorable

I saw Zootopia last night and as I drove home all I could think about was how the hell the police investigated crime that took place in habitats designed for smaller animals.

Like their smallest recruit literally towers over the citizens of the rodent habitat.  What the fuck is a polar bear going to do if a vole gets murdered?  Forget all of the fine tools needed to dust for prints, does the poor grieving widow vole now have to deal with being homeless because the only way the ZPD could photograph the crime scene was to literally rip her roof off? 

I bet you that’s why the mafia is a literal rat pack and a shrew is the most feared crime boss in town.  Who else is going to protect your gaggle of little adorable hamster children when your businesshamster husband gets caught cooking the books to try and pay off his hamster gambling debt and some guinea pig bookie comes to literally shake your family down for the cash?  

REMEMBER BACK WHEN EPISODE 6 AIRED AND THIS HAPPENED AND WE ALL WERE SO WEIRDED OUT BY CHRIS 

BUT NOPE TURNS OUT HE’S JUST YUURI’S STRIPPER BUDDY AND MOST LIKELY THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE POLE AT THE BANQUET because honestly who else could it be……it must be Chris 

HE ALSO BLESSED US BY CALLING OUT THE RINGS

AND FOR GIVING US THE FUNNIEST SEXUAL INNUENDO ABOUT VIKTOR AND YUURI’S RELATIONSHIP

CHRIS IS THE SWEETEST CHARACTER WHO GAVE US SO MANY MEMORABLE MOMENTS AND A FASCINATING COMPLEXITY AS WELL his birthday is the best Valentine’s Day gift I adore him 

What your fav loz game says about you
  • The Legend of Zelda: you haven't played any loz games since this one.
  • Zelda II: you own the entire legend of zelda animated series on vhs.
  • A Link to the Past: you're an elitist snob and/or you hate yourself.
  • Four Swords: you just want to be able to beat someone else up with multiplayer.
  • Link's Awakening: you fuckin love whales.
  • Ocarina of Time: good man. who doesn't like this game. your favorite band might be the beatles though.
  • Majora's Mask: your blog title is "welcome to my twisted mind"
  • Oracle of the Ages: you're a twin. your sibling got pokemon blue version.
  • Oracle of the Seasons: you're a twin. your sibling got pokemon red version.
  • Wind Waker: you are easily distracted by bright colors and pretty music so the endless sailing never bothered you. you want link's grandmother to adopt you.
  • Four Swords Adventure: you just want to be able to beat someone else up with multiplayer, but on the gamecube.
  • The Minish Cap: you thought it was adorable that you could become really really small and explore. You also have the hots for vaati.
  • Twilight Princess: you were that kid in elementary school who was way too obsessed with wolves. Possibly a furry.
  • Phantom Hourglass: you want to marry linebeck. I don't understand you. You also managed to get all the different boat designs somehow. How the fuck did you get all the parts for the golden ship. I hate you.
  • Spirit Tracks: you really liked that zelda was a kindof playable character. The overworld theme plays on repeat in your head at all times. Link is so cute as a conductor. Wow link is adorable
  • Skyward Sword: your wii controller actually worked so link's sword went where you swung it.
  • A Link Between Worlds: you were endlessly entertained by just fuckin slamming link into walls. You found every painting link could stand behind so it looked like he had a funny head. chicken link is your god.
  • Hyrule Warriors: you've never actually played a real zelda game.

anonymous asked:

I know we're all dead but can we talk about how cute it was that he said thank you when she took her top off? And how intimate that moment was when he just took a second to look at her, to breathe her in, to confirm that this was really happening? Cause of death: Olicity.

Oliver was the perfect gentleman throughout that entire scene. 

Starting from the beginning, he was… everything. He was a man who was clearly still in love with this woman, but he’d also heard her last season when she said she was, for all intents and purposes, done. He was a man who was willing to get every tiny scrap of her natural sunlight, no matter what the cost for himself. Y’all are lying to yourselves if Felicity wasn’t doing exactly what Curtis suggested when the idea of her trying the salmon ladder came about. She’s all cute and flirty and doing something that shows a lot of skin, and yet, the entire time, Oliver was just so sweet. He didn’t push it, he didn’t take what are pretty obvious signs, he didn’t do anything without her explicit permission and direction. They went through two bottles of wine, my friends, they were quite a few sheets to the wind and still, he was the perfect gentleman. Even when she asked him to help her down, when he grabbed her waist, when he held her close, letting her down gently, cradling her like she’s the most important thing in his entire world (she is)…

(src)

He was just… 

(src)

… so Oliver and so respectful and I loved it so much.

But then it gets better.

Felicity finally makes the first move, she kisses him and remember the way he responded? 

(src)

(wow they kiss really well like damn well done a+)

He gives it his all because that’s all he wants to give her. He messed up so much in the past, and while the source of those issues are deeply buried and require a fucking bulldozer to unearth, it doesn’t change that it effectively ruined the best thing in his life. But now, now he has her back and it’s everything. Yes, the wine has stripped their inhibitions, but it just scratched off the surface, revealing what they’ve always, always wanted.

(src)

(src)

(This was cute af, anon, I so agree. He’s so totally getting swept up in the sensation of having her in his arms again, of kissing her, tasting her, feeling her, and it’s intoxicating. It takes over everything, leaving no room for anything but continuing to feel those wonderful things. We see that in the way he suddenly spins her, with so much intent, so much purpose - I know I’m not the only one who thought that was going somewhere else - but then he’s so painfully gentle with her. He could absolutely rip her sweater to pieces if he wanted to and he knew she probably wouldn’t complain one bit until later, but he didn’t, because remember, this is the Oliver who has been in love with this woman forever and he lost her and he’s been respecting her wishes in not pursuing a relationship and suddenly she’s here and she’s with him, but that doesn’t change where they are mentally, where he’s at mentally. (Wow, tangent.) It’s marked with that soft, adorable smile of his - that happy smile of his - and the way he says, “Thank you.” It’s really as if he’s thanking her for giving them this chance again.)

And then…

(src)

The passion is back, brimming over, all-consuming, burning them from the insides out, taking over everything, pulling them together like the magnets that they are…

But that’s not all it’s about, not quite. It’s about that, oh yes, but it’s also about connecting again, not just physically but emotionally and mentally, with their very souls. This isn’t just physical for Oliver, nor is it for Felicity, which is what he needs to double check, he needs to see, to make sure that… 

Well, that this is happening, that it’s what he thinks it is, that she’s on the same page, that she wants this, that she wants it as badly as he does, that she’s doing it for the same reasons, that… 

(src)

(the way he whispers her name, a gasp, a breathless plea… a prayer…)

He has to make sure. He has to. One, because it’s Oliver and when it comes to Felicity, there’s never been a halfway. 

Which is so very interesting considering what happened tonight - thinking about it from Oliver’s perspective, he honestly thought he was giving Felicity everything he could. He didn’t know at the time that he was only giving half of himself, only giving her the pieces he felt worthy of her, not realizing that he was hiding things from her, all under the guise of trying to protect her, in his own warped way. He has been broken, in his mind, for so long, but it’s only when he’s whole within himself that he can finally be with her, which we’re finally seeing, thank goodness.

He’s all in or he’s all out and he needs to know that Felicity is there with him.

(src)

But not a simple “Are you sure this is what you want,” no, it’s more than that.

(src)

It’s about them, and their love for each other.

(src)

And there it is. She’s right there with him, her love for him shining through, bathing him in its purity, a cleansing feeling that shines light in the darkest corners of his being (even if he doesn’t recognize it until much much much later). 

Cause of death: Olicity 

Indeed, anon. Indeed.

Yoongi

BOYFRIEND BANGTAN | YOONGI VERSION

WORD COUNT: 1,210

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by sugasuite

masterlist | ask

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anonymous asked:

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Originally posted by markimemey

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

Originally posted by mirrorthehorse

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Originally posted by treblegirl

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But  Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

Originally posted by redthereaper07

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

Originally posted by markired

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^

It’s Just Netflix...Chill

Originally posted by jayparkisagod

It’s Just Netflix…Chill
[Jay tried]

“Please”

“No-”

“Baby please! Pretty please? With a cherry on top. We’ll even watch whatever you want.”

Sighing you rolled your eyes. Your phone wedged between your shoulder against your ear while you tried to clean up around your office. “Jay, you hate my shows. I just wanna go home. Take a nice long bath, and catch up on my dramas.”

“You can do that all at my place, come on I haven’t seen you a month.”

“And whose fault is that Rapstar?”

Jay had a tendency of going ghost for weeks at a time. Rather it was for recording, business, or tours he’d usually be gone for a while. You two weren’t clingy about your relationship, and you always had something else going on to distract you so it wasn’t too bad. But when he did come back he’d always be a little too clingy. It honestly was adorable, and you always got a kick in making him beg.

“I’m sorry Baby, come on I just wanna see you.”

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Black and White - Chapter 2

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Bad Boy AU // University AU // Fluff

Word Count: 3227 words

Plot: Baekhyun is the typical heartthrob that always gets what he wants.. until you came along.

Black and White: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9 (M)

“Okay, i’ll just say this here. You’re really cute. How about we take this upstairs?” Baekhyun queried.

You felt your heart drop slightly.

This. This was exactly what you wanted to avoid. What you didn’t want to happen.

You were flattered by his words, of course. But you knew they were merely nothing but empty words. Ones that held no meaning whatsoever.

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New Exerpt

I was confident that Bill would be great at parenting. His father died before Bill was born; he knew how lucky he was to have this chance that his own father never had. Still, a lot of men are thrilled to be dads but not so thrilled about all the work that a child requires. The writer Katha Pollitt has observed how even the most egalitarian relationships can contort under the strain of child rearing, and all of a sudden the mom is expected to do everything, while the dad pitches in here and there. She calls it becoming “gender Republicans”—a nifty phrase, if perhaps a little unfair to all the feminist Republicans out there, who really do exist.
I knew that I had enough energy and devotion for two, if it turned out that Bill wasn’t a co-equal in the child-raising department. But I really hoped that wouldn’t happen. Our marriage had always been a true partnership. Though he was governor and then president—jobs that would seem to “beat” a lot of others, if you were the kind of person who ranked jobs like that—my career was important to me, too. So was my time and, more broadly, my identity. I couldn’t wait to become a mother, but I didn’t want to lose everything else about myself in the becoming. I was counting on my husband not just to respect that but also to join me in guarding against it.
So it was a wonderful thing when Chelsea arrived, and Bill dove into parenting with characteristic gusto. We went to the hospital with Bill clutching the materials from the Lamaze classes we had attended together. When it turned out that Chelsea was breech, he fought to be in the operating room with me and hold my hand during the C-section. Being governor came in handy when he asked to be the first father ever permitted by that hospital to do so. After we brought her home, he handled countless midnight feedings and diaper changes. We took turns making sure the parade of family and friends who wanted to spend time with Chelsea were looked after. As our daughter grew up, we both read her good-night stories. We both got to know her teachers and coaches. Even when Bill became president, he rearranged his schedule as much as he could to have dinner with us nearly every night that he was in Washington. And when he was somewhere else in the world, he’d call Chelsea to talk about her day and go over her homework with her.
Our daughter adored her father more and more. As she entered adolescence, I wondered if that would change at all. I remembered how my own dad and I grew somewhat distant from each other once I became a teenager. I provoked him with a lot of fiery political arguments. He was at a loss to navigate the occasionally stormy seas of teenage girlhood. Would that happen with Chelsea and Bill? As it turned out, no. He lived for their debates; the fiercer the better. He didn’t leave me to deal with the “girl stuff”: heartache, self-esteem, safety. He was right there with us.
Did I handle more of the family responsibilities, especially while Bill was president? Of course. This was something we’d talked through before he ran, and I was more than up for it. But I never felt like I was alone in the work of raising our wonderful daughter. And I know a lot of wives of busy men who would say otherwise. Bill wanted to be a great president, but that wouldn’t have mattered to him if he wasn’t also a great dad.
Every time I see the two of them laugh over some private joke that only they know … every time I overhear a conversation between them, two lightning-quick minds testing each other … every time I see him look at her with love and devotion … I’m reminded again that I chose exactly the right person to have a family with.
My marriage to Bill Clinton was the most consequential decision of my life. I said no the first two times he asked me. But the third time, I said yes. And I’d do it again.
I hesitated because I wasn’t quite prepared for marriage. I hadn’t figured out what I wanted my future to be yet. And I knew that by marrying Bill, I would be running straight into a future far more momentous than any other I’d likely know. He was the most intense, brilliant, charismatic person I had ever met. He dreamed big. I, on the other hand, was practical and cautious. I knew that marrying him would be like hitching a ride on a comet. It took me a little while to get brave enough to take the leap.
We’ve been married since 1975. We’ve had many, many more happy days than sad or angry ones. I know some people wonder why we’re still together. I heard it again in the 2016 campaign: that “we must have an arrangement” (we do; it’s called a marriage); that I helped him become president and then stayed so he could help me become president (no); that we lead completely separate lives, and it’s just a marriage on paper now (he is reading this over my shoulder in our kitchen with our dogs underfoot, and in a minute he will reorganize our bookshelves for the millionth time, which means I will not be able to find any of my books, and once I learn the new system, he’ll just redo it again, but I don’t mind because he really loves to organize those bookshelves).
I don’t believe our marriage is anyone’s business. Public people should be allowed to have private lives, too. But I know that a lot of people are genuinely interested. Maybe you’re flat-out perplexed. Maybe you want to know how this works because you are married and would like it to last 40 years or longer, and you’re looking for perspective. I certainly can’t fault you on that.
I don’t want to delve into all the details, because I really do want to hold on to what’s left of my privacy as much as I can. But I will say this: Bill has been an extraordinary father to our beloved daughter and an exuberant, hands-on grandfather to our two grandchildren. I look at Chelsea and Charlotte and Aidan and I think, We did this. That’s a big deal.
He has been my partner in life and my greatest champion. He never once asked me to put my career on hold for his. He never once suggested that maybe I shouldn’t compete for anything—in work or politics—because it would interfere with his life or ambitions. There were stretches of time in which my husband’s job was unquestionably more important than mine, and he still didn’t play that card. I have never felt like anything but an equal. Bill is completely unbothered by having an ambitious, opinionated, occasionally pushy wife. In fact, he loves me for it.
Long before I thought of running for public office, he was saying, “You should do it. You’d be great at it. I’d love to vote for you.” He helped me believe in this bigger version of myself. Bill was a devoted son-in-law and always made my parents feel welcome in our home. Toward the end of my mother’s life, when I wanted her to move into our house in Washington, he said yes without hesitation. Though I expected nothing less, this meant the world to me. I know so many women who are married to men who—though they have their good qualities—can be sullen, moody, irritated at small requests, and generally disappointed with everyone and everything. Bill Clinton is the opposite. He has a temper, but he’s never mean. And he’s funny, friendly, unflappable in the face of mishaps and inconveniences, and easily delighted by the world—remember those balloons at the convention? He is fabulous company.
We’ve certainly had dark days in our marriage. You know all about them—and please consider for a moment what it would be like for the whole world to know about the worst moments in your relationship. There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive. But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered most to me: Do I still love him? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself— twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes. So I kept going.
On our first date, we went to the Yale University Art Gallery to see a Mark Rothko exhibit. The building was closed, but Bill talked our way in. When I think about that afternoon—seeing the art, hearing the stillness all around us, giddy about this person whom I had just met but somehow knew would change my life—it still feels magical, and I feel happy and lucky all over again.
I still think he’s one of the most handsome men I’ve ever known. I’m proud of him: proud of his vast intellect, his big heart, the contributions he has made to the world. I love him with my whole heart. That’s more than enough to build a life on.
The morning after the election, Bill and I both wore purple. It was a nod to bipartisanship (blue plus red equals purple). The night before, I had hoped to thank the country wearing white—the color of the suffragettes—while standing on a stage cut into the shape of the United States under a vast glass ceiling. Instead, the white suit stayed in the garment bag.
After I delivered my concession speech, I hugged as many people in the ballroom as possible—lots of old friends and devoted campaign staffers, many of their faces wet with tears. I was dry-eyed and felt calm and clear. My job was to smile, be strong for everyone, and show America that life went on and our republic would endure. A life spent in the public eye has given me lots of practice at that. I wear my composure like a suit of armor, for better or worse. In some ways, it felt like I had been training for this latest feat of self-control for decades.
After delivering hugs and smiling so long and hard that my face ached, I asked my senior team to go back to our headquarters in Brooklyn and make sure everyone was OK. One final wave to the crowd, and Bill and I got into the backseat of a Secret Service van and were driven away.
I could finally let my smile drain away. We were mostly quiet. Every few minutes, Bill would repeat what he had been saying all morning: “I’m so proud of you.” To that he now added, “That was a great speech. History will remember it.”
I loved him for saying it, but I didn’t have much to say in return. I felt completely and totally depleted. And I knew things would feel worse before they started feeling better.
It takes about an hour to drive from Manhattan to our home in Chappaqua. I absolutely love our old house. It’s cozy, colorful, full of art, and every surface is covered with photos of the people I love best in the world. That day, the sight of our front gate was pure relief to me. All I wanted to do was get inside, change into comfy clothes, and maybe not answer the phone ever again.
I’ll confess that I don’t remember much about the rest of that day. I put on yoga pants and a fleece. Our two sweet dogs followed me from room to room, and at one point, I took them outside and just breathed the cold, rainy air. The question blaring in my head was “How did this happen?” Fortunately, I had the good sense to realize that diving into a campaign postmortem right then would be about the worst thing I could do to myself.
Losing is hard for everyone, but losing a race you thought you would win is devastating. I remember when Bill lost his reelection as governor of Arkansas in 1980. He was so distraught at the outcome that I had to go to the hotel where the election-night party was held to speak to his supporters on his behalf. For a good while afterward, he was so depressed that he practically couldn’t get off the floor. That’s not me. I keep going. I also stew and ruminate. I run through the tape over and over, identifying every mistake—especially those made by me. When I feel wronged, I get mad, and then I think about how to fight back.
On that first day, I just felt tired and empty. The reckoning was still to come.
At some point, we ate dinner. We FaceTimed with our grandchildren, two-year-old Charlotte and her baby brother, Aidan, born in June 2016. I was reassured to see their mom. I knew Chelsea was hurting for me, which in turn hurt to think about, but those kids are an instant mood boost for all of us. We quietly drank them in, that day and every day after. After sleeping hardly at all the night before, I climbed into our bed at midday for a nice, long nap. I also went to bed early that night and slept in the next morning. I could finally do that.
I avoided the phone and email that first day. I suspected, correctly, that I was receiving a virtual avalanche of messages, and I couldn’t quite handle it—couldn’t handle everyone’s kindness and sorrow, their bewilderment and their theories for where and why we had fallen short. Eventually, I’d dive in. But for now, Bill and I kept the rest of the world out. I was grateful for the one billionth time that I had a husband who was good company not just in happy times but sad ones as well.

Lance: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Keith: Yes they are.

Lance: You wanna know who else is beautiful?

Keith: blushes Who?

Lance: Those little aliens Pidge found, like, WOW, they are so adorable, I could just cuddle them forever.

Boyfriend! Jaehyun

#5 of Boyfriend! Series

Taeil | Johnny | Taeyong | Yuta | Doyoung | Ten | Jaehyun | WinWin | Mark | Renjun | Jeno | Haechan | Jaemin | Chen Le | Jisung

A/N: I honestly didn’t mean to be biased but i’m so soft because i love jaehyun so much so this boyfriend! would be much longer than the rest. i love all the members but im so sorry i got carried away ㅠㅠ

Originally posted by yutaejpg

Word Count: 2,349
Style/ Genre: Headcanon/ very fluffy 
Date Posted: 7 Sept 2017


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How could I ever possibly explain that whenever I look at you I feel as if my heart is pounding a thousand miles, and my face hurts too much from smiling at the thought of you?

How could I ever tell you that your eyes have this kind of sparkle in it that makes me nervous but at the same time fall even more in love with you?

How could I ever tell you that whenever you’re near me, my thoughts ramble and sometimes I forget what I’m about to say just because the sight of you always manages to take the breath from my lungs?

How would I ever be able to put into words that you make me feel alive again after months of being dead inside? How could I possibly tell you that ever since I’ve met you, there’s nothing else I would rather stare at then you.

I’m in love with sunsets, and every night I used to watch the sun go down and adore the colors that rippled through the sky. But ever since I met you, it’s you who I can’t keep my eyes off. I’d rather admire you then the colors in the sky. Nothing could ever be more beautiful, my love, you are exquisite. And everything about you has me so awestruck. I could find everything about you so poetic and beautiful but when it comes to writing it down, my mind is always left blank.

You are poetry. And my words that are left unspoken sometimes just prove that there isn’t any word in the English language to describe your worth, and your beauty. And the love that I have for you.

—  S.V//@Sempiternal.poet on Instagram
Serenity

Summary: In which Sam is the best source of serenity after a long day of work.

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 2,558

A/N : Happy birthday to a sweetheart with a heart of gold @avengerofyourheart. Anika, chatting with you makes my day on the regular and I love that we’re able to fangirl over so many shows together. I also love that you trusted me enough to accept my Brooklyn 99 and Pitch recommendations and got around to watching both shows. You’re amazing and I hope you’re having a wonderful day! 

Originally posted by amerikatee

After a long day of work, the last thing you want to do is climb up three flights of stairs to get to your apartment. On most days, you’re able to view the trek as a welcome challenge, but today it’s nothing more than a burden. An unavoidable one since you made the godforsaken mistake of moving into an apartment without an elevator. Your friends warned you that this day would come and you didn’t listen. You have no one to blame but yourself for being stuck in this situation.

You’ve watched a myriad of shows and movies where characters were forced to endure all kinds of unspeakable torture at the hands of villains. Not one of those torture tactics ever included having someone walk up some stairs after spending a full day at work. When you make it to the second floor, you decide that you’re going to pass on this new idea to anyone who wants to listen. Forget about tying someone up in chains or sticking their head in ice-cold water - a flight of stairs and tired feet are easily one of the most dangerous combinations.

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Platinum Locks

Prompt: Draco x reader. The reader is a rather quite To be in the same house and Draco. Patsy gets very jealous. One day cutting off her long platinum blonde hair. Draco fixes it. Angry, protective and fluffy Draco.

A/N: Hope this is what you were looking for :) Sorry for how long it has taken!

Warnings: Jealousy? Anger? Negativity? Bullying. But there is fluff :)

Let me know if this doesn’t make sense and sorry if it seems a little slapdash!

Not edited or proof read.

-

You had been sitting, minding your own business in the The Three Broomsticks on Sunday afternoon. You took a sip from your Butterbeer and the froth stuck your lip. You would have giggled with your best friend about it only the table over busted out laughing. You both looked over to see Pansy Parkinson sitting with Draco and their usual group. Everyone but Draco were were looking at you. “Looks like something has gotten stuck in your moustache, Y/N.” Pansy jeered causing the others to laugh. However Draco had his straight face eyeing his cup as he fiddled with the handle. Your best friend looked at you then straight into Pansy’s eyes. 

“Oh, we thought it was a new fashion trend. I mean, we noticed your moustache and thought we just had to try it out.” She feigned shock before turning back to you as the whole table (this time including Draco) laughed. 

Later that day, back in the Slytherin Common Room, Draco took to sitting with you on the sofa. It wasn’t an unusual scene to see. You weren’t a big fan of Draco’s choice in friends and so the evenings ad some mornings before breakfast and classes were the only time you could spend time with him without them. It’s not that you cared he was friends with them, it’s his choice but you just did not fit in with them at all. They were obnoxious and you kept yourself to yourself. Perhaps that was why Draco favoured you most over them. Of course Pansy Parkinson was a limpet and so it was to find the time of day away from her. Your night time routine involved Draco staying up late just to spend time alone with you and you’d do the same. 

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The Troubles of Family

Alec gets dragged to a double date, which might just bring some revelations to light.

Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland Lightwood
Tags: Boys In Love, Friendship, Family, Post-Canon, Alcohol

for the lovely @magnusragnor aka my sun and stars ❤

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“Absolutely not.”

“Alec, c’mon.”

Illuminated by the low light of his office, Alec silently gave up on the remaining reports he was due to finish that night. Instead, he took a long look through the room trying to focus on anything but the person who’d been bothering him with a single, absolutely impossible request.

Thinking back to how his day had begun, he sighed. With Magnus’ body pressed to his back, his warm breath hitting Alec’s neck, it had felt like the beginning of a perfect day. The golden rays of the sun had shone through the curtains, making Magnus’ bronze skin glow in a way that had left Alec breathless. And when those eyes had finally opened, and he had been met with hazy cat eyes and a soft smile, the only logical course of action had been to press sleepy kisses all over Magnus’ beautiful face. An hour later, Magnus had rushed off to breakfast with Luke while Alec had made his way over to the Institute, grin still on his face.

Nevertheless, his hopes for the day had been shattered the moment he reached the Ops centre, and thus, his brother. And now, three hours later, Alec still couldn’t believe the words double date have actually left Jace’s mouth.

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TRUTH OR DARE

HERE IT IS~ I made sure it’s slightly similar to the roommate au,because I know how you guys love that story so much ,yet I haven’t updated yet T_T I’ll try updating asap oki doki?

Don’t forget to tell me what you thought about it in the comments/message box <3

Genre: romance/fluff/Semi-Smut
Pairing: Jungkook/You
Length: 7735 words
Summary: You and Jungkook gather up with your friends to play truth or dare and it gets a little dirty.


It was a rainy day when you and Jungkook decided to meet up at his place. You were meeting up for a break after the mid-term week that has been keeping both of you away from each other. Jungkook missed you so badly that he blew up your phone with his texting messages for several days. You still refused to meet up with him, because he was being a distraction.

He was finally happy and relieved to hear that you’d drop by for the afternoon and stay overnight. He was so excited and looking forward your little night together. You were very close friends since high school it was not a big deal for neither of you to show up at the boy’s apartment or even spend the night there. Jungkook planned to have a little gathering with you and his friends to lighten up the mood from that stressful week

The boy just came out from his shower and noticed the glistering droplets of rain pouring outside. He was wearing his usual comfy white hoodie and his grey sweats. He was so warm and cozy and he could bet that the second you’d show up at his place you’d jump in his arms for some of his warmth. He looked cuddly for a reason and he knew that you were the type to squeal whenever he wore a hoodie.

Is she going show up in this rain? He holds on his cup of hot chocolate and as he takes a sip

Jungkook dials his friend’s phone number to make sure you were on your way.It rang for a few times and it didn’t take long before the latter replied to jungkook’s call.

“Heyy….” Jimin’s voice says in an unsure tone

“Jimin hyung? Are you picking up Y/N?” he calls his friend

“Bruh, my girl just showed up and she looks quite pissed from the look on her face… I’m sorry but I couldn’t give Y/N a ride” jimin replies on the other line

This hyung better be kidding me!! He left Y/N all alone?!

“Are you saying that she’s walking to get here?” Jungkook yells on the other line

“Well I gave her a tip to take a taxi, but you know how she never accepts money from me” jimin sighs

“That’s because you’re a creep. What would you expect? Who knows if you gave her money for another purpose?” Jungkook scoffs on the other line

“Hey who do you take me for? I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW. I DON’T DO THESE THINGS ANYMORE” jimin shouts

“You still have a past Jimin hyung. Don’t go around giving money to girls…they might get the wrong idea” jungkook sighs

“Is it that wrong to take care of beautiful girls when I have money to spend on them?” jimin argues

“Not when you’re a pervert.” Jungkook replies

“Says the pervert himself” Jimin scoffs

“Don’t include me in your circle, hyung. I don’t own a limited porn magazine collection” jungkook smirks on the other line

“I had money and no girlfriend. Don’t blame me, you little brat” jimin nags

“Sure hyung…sure” jungkook chuckles on the other line

He ended the call and choose to send you a text asking you where you were. As he was typing in his message he could hear two knocks on the door followed by the doorbell ring. A smile was automatically stamped on his face as he ran to open that door. He knew it was you from the second you knocked twice and rang once.

He opened the door and the first thing he saw was you being all drenched and wet from the rain. That white dress shirt you were wearing was sticking onto your skin and half of your hair was wet. You held onto your bag while slightly shivering from the cold.You were seeking for heat and Jungkook was going to give you enough heat for the rest of the night.

“Y/N? Don’t you carry around an umbrella sometimes?” He furrows his brows “What if you catch a cold?” he suddenly pulls you in his warm embrace and closes the door with his foot

You surround your arms around his waist tightly and jungkook slightly gasps from how tight you’re hugging him back. His face softens when he feels you burying your face in his warm cozy chest. Jungkook’s chest was the perfect pillow and spot to press your face on when you felt sad or cold. You snuggled your face on his chest and jungkook can’t help but chuckle at how clingy you are from the moment you stepped in his apartment. Your nose was cold and jungkook’s warm comforting chest was warming you up. Your fingers grasped tightly onto the fabric of his white hoodie and jungkook surround his manly arms around you in protection. You were so cold and he was going to make sure you never catch a cold. His fingers would touch your cold ears from time to time to warm you up.This man was like a heater and you only needed heat from his body right now.

“Did you missed me that much?” he suddenly asks “I thought you’ve been avoiding me for a while because I was supposedly a distraction”

“You’re so warm kook, can’t I stay in your arms forever?” you look up at him with your red nose

“I don’t know about forever, but you can stick to me for a few more minutes” he replies “what’s with the romantic pickup lines, missy? “He asks

“I need heat and you’re hot, so I’ll stick to you, okay?” you smile at him before hugging him tighter

“Oh okay…so now I’m hot? I didn’t knew you saw me that way…” he raised a playful brow

“Hot as in heat, idiot” you chuckle “I’m cold to death and you just happen to provide lots of heat”

“I’m still pretty sexy, don’t you agree?” he raises his brow sexily

“You’re cute Jungkook” you suddenly lessen your hold on him “So cute I’d bite you” you tap his cute nose

I’m cute? Just cute? Nothing else? He unconsciously pouts

Jungkook could feel his little word shatter for some reason.Of course you had to see him under the’ cute’ light .He was a man that worked out a few days a week. His body was hot and everyone who saw it couldn’t agree more. He had the biceps and abs that any girl would drool over, yet you were there calling him adorable. Why did he has to be constantly called cute by you?Was isit his doe eyes and his innocent facial expressions or was it simply the way you saw him?  Sure you were his friend, but you were still a girl and he wanted you to acknowledge him like any other man.

“Girl, I’m still a man. Isn’t it sad to think that you always come to this grown man’s apartment and make yourself so comfortable? Don’t you feel nervous around me, the slightest? “He stares at you as he hold tightly on your shoulders

Say yes, say yes. PLEASE.AT LEAST SAY IT TO MAKE ME FEEL WORTHY.DON’T SHATTER MY MANLYHOOD AS IF IT WAS SOMETHING NORMAL TO DO ON A DAILY BASIS. *CRIES*

“Not at all” you reply “I trust you way too much to be nervous” you brush it off

This girl don’t get the clues at all *sighs* let’s just play along with her…

“I’m a spontaneous man “he makes a sassy pose

“Of course you are “you laugh “Can you lend me one of your 24 white shirts or something, I’m dying of cold” you shiver

“Who’d ever saw this would think you’re my girl” he chuckles

How much I wish you were my girl…*pouts internally*

“Oh ho.” You punch his chest “Are you going to push me away once you find a girlfriend?” you glare at him

“Do I look like the kind of friend who’d do that?” he sends you a questioning gaze “I thought you trusted me, I’m feeling a little sad now” he pouts

“Baby please stop being a drama queen and go get me a shirt.” You ruffle his hair “Or, you know what? I’ll just go get one myself” you sigh and walk to his room

SHE’S GOING TO MY CLOSET?! HELL NO.MY SECRET LIFE RESIDES THERE. #PANIC

“W-Wait!! No one is going through my closet!!” he stops you

“Why? “ You blink before tilting your head to the side” Do you have something to hide in there” you smirk

LET’S MAKE UP AN EXCUSE.

“My white shirts are PRECIOUS.” He retorts

“So what? You won’t lend me a shirt” you frown “I’m so disappointed! I thought you loved me” you pout

Jungkook could feel his heart jump for the sudden ‘love’ word that just got out of your lips.

“LOVE is a big word.” He stares at you

“Insensitive jerk. I’ve been walking for 15 minutes in the rain to get here.” You fake a sob “Are you really going to treat me that way?”

“Do I look like a man that’d do that to a girl?” he scoffs

“Of course” you glare

“RUDE” he replies in a very offended tone before ruffling his hair

He sighed before he grabbed the hem of his hoodie to slightly pull it up.This how your eyes wavered and panic started arising through your body.You were nervous at his unusual behavior.Why was he going to take it off and in front of you on top of it?

“W-W-What ARE YOU DOING?!” you hide your eyes “Don’t strip tease Jeon Jungkook. I’M W-WARNING YOU”

Jungkook takes off his hoodie as it sticks with the white shirt he’s wearing under it. Part of his skin and his abs gets exposed but the guy does not waste time to pull down his white shirt while removing successfully the white hoodie. You seem a bit disappointed as you didn’t get to see the entire thing. You were peeking through your fingers and you could tell that jungkook has been building something under these white shirts.

“Calm down woman, I was going to give you my hoodie instead. It’s already warm so you’ll warm up faster.” He replies as he throws the white hoodie on your figure

“Why do I feel like you actually wanted me to take everything off.” he replies “You were disappointed because I was wearing another shirt under it, right?” he nudges you

“N-NO!” you stare at him before putting on the hoodie “Ahh…” you exclaim as the warmth invades you “Your hoodie is so warm and cozy” you rub your cheek on the fabric

“Of course it is, I’m hot” he winks at you

“Oh gosh, International playboy.” You roll your eyes “So what’s your plan for tonight?”

“I thought we could play a little game” he wiggles his eyebrow

“Oh no, I don’t like where this is going” you stare at him

“You’ll see. Let’s just go watch something while waiting for Jimin hyung and the rest of the guys to come”

You both sat on his couch with his arm around your shoulder as you all snuggled up on his chest like his puppy.Jungkook would pet your hair while making all sorts of weird sounds.He was like that and you had to live with his weirdness. Whoever saw both of you, would be thinking that you’re an item. Jungkook would play and ruffle your hair with his large hands in order to make you the most hideous looking hairstyles in history. He giggles and finds it funny, but it’s not that funny in your perspective.

“Jeon, I beg you. Stop ruining my hair” you sigh

“I’m just having my fun. Please let me.”

“You really want to disfigure me before Jin Sunbae shows up?” you reply

“Oh, so you’re self-conscious because jin is probably going to show up?” Jungkook gives you a glance

So she still had something for him * pouts* Damn, I thought I had a chance this time…

“You still like him?” his eyes widened

“Not that I like him, but I don’t want to seem like a loser after seeing him for so long”

It’s official. She still likes him. Our chances are doomed Jeon, just forget it…You don’t stand a chance against the perfect Kim Seokjin from the Biomedical Departement.

“Y/N, don’t lie. You’re totally crushing on him” he replies bitterly

“Stop. It’s not like you’re any better. You fell for that library girl because of her boobs.”

I don’t even look at BOOBS. I AVOID BOOBS LIKE AN ILLNESS. WHY IS SHE BRINGING THAT UP?!Aaaiishh…now that she brought up the boob subject I feel like blushing * internally scolsd himself*

“I just said she looked cute!!I never crushed on her and her boobs have nothing to do with this” he blushes

“YOU LIAR” you point at him

The doorbell suddenly rang and the door opened on its own.Jimin was the culprit and he had the keys for some reason which didn’t even surprise jungkook. Followed by jimin was Taehyung with his casual grin stamped on his face, Hoseok who seemed way too hyped up for nothing, Yoongi who seemed to be unaware of why he was even invited, Namjoon who shot you a smile and Jin who was there in all of his glory.

“Who’s a liar?” jimin giggles “I bought some beer, guys!”

“Y/N is already there!!!!!” Taehyung shots up from the back and runs to get a hug from you

“How’s it going, Tae?” you chuckled as his soft hair would tickle your neck

“I’m doing better now that you hugged me” he grins

“Awww you~” you ruffle his hair “I should adopt you, where are the papers to adopt this child!!” you laugh

“This ‘child’ is actually a perv Y/N” Namjoon sighs “I saw him exchanging numbers with Kim Hyuna from third year. You know that girl –“

“With the big boobs” you sigh “Yes I know “you face palm “Why are you guys so obsessed with boobs? You really need to get over it.”

“She’s a C cup!! It’s rare to find this in my faculty” Namjoon sighs

“That’s because there’s not that many girls in engineering” you comment

“Try talking to me about it” Namjoon replies

“You exchanged numbers with Kim Hyuna? GIVE ME HER NUMBER TOO BRUH!! SHARE IT!” Hoseok pulls taehyung to his side

“Oh guys please…” you sigh

“Are you proud of me? I’m not perverted like them” jungkook smiles at you innocently

“You’re probably ten times worse, you just know how keep it inside your pants” you smirk

“OUCH.THAT HURTS” jungkook pouts

“I don’t care about boobs, someone tell me where I can find a relaxing spot in this apartment” Yoongi asks “I don’t even know why I came here, but I’m planning to take a nap anyways”

“There’s a couch over there hyung” Jungkook guides Yoongi to the couch

On the other side Jin had showed up  

“Hey Y/N, it’s been a while” Jin smiles at you

“O-Oh…hey” you blink awkwardly “Yeah, it’s been quite a while! I’m happy to you here” you blush

“Your shirt is so oversized” jin chuckled “you look so tiny”

“I bet Jungkook went dirty on you and he gave it to you as a present “Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows

“Ew. NO. Guys what is wrong with you?” you cringed your face

“She came all drenched because of some irresponsible hyung who didn’t gave her the ride she needed” jungkook frowns

“Okay, bruh, that last sentence sounded kind of wrong” Hoseok sips on his juice

“Oh gosh” jungkook rolled his eyes “Jimin hyung what do you have to say for your defense?”

“I don’t want to talk about it” Jimin’s smile fades away  

“Where’s your girlfriend?” jungkook suddenly asks

“Don’t even bring her up” jimin sighs

As the mood became slightly awkward, jungkook decided to change the topic and this is how you were now bond to play this game he’s been craving to play for so long. All seated in the living room in a circle with beer in the center, you were feeling nervous about what game you were going to play.

“So what is it?” You nudge jungkook

“Truth or Dare” Jungkook smirks

“Bruh, why did you invite us?” Hoseok whispers “You should’ve played that game alone with her…if you know what I mean”

“Shut up, HYUNG” jungkook would slap hoseok’s arm “So…who wants to start?”

“Me~” Namjoon raises his hand “Truth for Hoseok, Did you ever had sex with a teacher for a grade?”

“Ooooh~ bruh , you’re going quite hard from the start” Jimin laughs “No one would, I mean I never hooked up with a teacher so I bet that no one in this squad—“

“Okay, maybe once—“Hoseok replies

Everyone’s eyes rounded in astonishment.

“OMG HOSEOK. You got laid with a teacher??!!”  jimin shouts

“It was just that one time! Plus, she was a TEACHER ASSISTANT not an actual teacher!” Hoseok replies “She was cute. It was two birds with a stone to be honest”

“Was it good?” Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows

“What happens in class stays in class” Hoseok smirks

Everyoone ‘woo-ed’ at how savage Hoseok was being with his replies.You were feeling nervous about this game and about how daring the questions were.What if they asked you some awkward questions in front of Jin.You could tell that Jungkook was fidgeting in his seat.He may have chosen the game, but he was also nervous about what kind of wild ideas would come out of his friends.

“It’s my turn huh?”Hoseok asks “This is one is a Truth for Park Jimin. How many freshman have you slept with?”

“THAT’S NOT EVEN FAIR!!” Jimin points at hoseok “How do you expect me to remember that.”

“Oh Jimin” Jin chuckles

“Why am I befriending them again?” Yoongi stares at you

“I bet it’s close to the entire female population” Taehyung chuckled

“Five…” Jimin replies

“Jimin…please. This is truth or dare, not lie or dare” you face palm

“OKAY FIFTY. I SLEPT WITH FIFTY FRESHMANS. DON’T JUDGE” Jimin takes a shot “Your turn to Suffer Kim Taehyung, THIS IS A DARE FOR YOU. Go and lick the wall”

“Lick the wall?” Taehyung raises a brow “Alright, I’ve licked lots of stuff in the past anyways”

“Ew. HELL NO. I’ll have to clean it up” Jungkook cringes his face “NOT ON MY WALLS!!”

“Okay then, go out the balcony and scream to the entire neighborhood that you’re a hoe for jungkook while twerking” Jimin chuckles

“Everyone is a hoe for Jungkook” Taehyung smirks

“Oh man, this is going to be embarrassing “Jungkook sighs

It wasn’t long before Taehyung went out in the balcony. He started off by warming up his deep voice and made a few booty shakes to practice his twerking. It gave you the shock of your life when he suddenly screamed out of his lungs.

“I’M JUNGKOOK’S HOOOOOOOEEEEE!!!”Taehyung would shake his butt “YES I’M THE BEST HOE IN TOWN AND I CHOOSE JUNGKOOK. CATCH ME JUNGKOOOOKKKK. JUST LIKE IN THAT POKEMON GO GAME!!!! I’LL BE YOUR HOE!!!” he’d twerk for a few seconds “JUNGKOOK’S HOE FOR LIFE.HEARD THAT B*TCHES??!!! COME AND JOIN ME IN THE JUNGKOOK HOES FANCLUB–”

“Hyung, please shut the f*ck up, what will my neighbors think??!!” jungkook shows up behind taehyung as he claps his palm on the latter’s mouth

“Sorry, I just felt like it was appropriate to embarrass you along the way” Taehyung laughed

“Can I go back home? Please” Yoongi pleads but no one listens to him

“Congrats Jeon, you got yourself a Hoe Fan club” you laughed while nudging his shoulder

“You’re part of the fan club too” he winks at you

“In your wildest dreams” you send him a flying kiss

“My question is for Y/N” Taehyung giggles at you

“Please tell me it’s an innocent one” you laugh nervously

“If you had to Pick one of us and dress him up as your roleplay fantasy, who would it be?”

“Role playyyy~~~ Hmm, I like these kind of things” jimin giggles while nudging your arm nonstop “Now I’m feeling more curious”

“Why would you ask that?!” You chuckle “what if I said I don’t have a roleplay fantasy?”

“Oh baby, you do. Everyone does “Hoseok replies

“You guys are perverts” you groan “I don’t have a role play fantasy

“Why don’t you tell them about your cop fantasy—“Jungkook is about to reply but you put your palm over his lips

“SHUT IT.” You sent him a death sentence through your eyes

“Damn girl. Cop roleplay? That’s kind of naughty. I didn’t expect you’d be into that” Jimin giggles

“Are you into handcuffs in all those kind of stuff” Taehyung asks

“I’m not replying to this” you stare at Taehyung “AND YOU ARE DEAD” you glare at jungkook

“Hey, I had to say something” Jungkook chuckles “It’s not that embarrassing. It’s kind of Hot actually” he reassures you

“I think that Jungkook is already making plans for his Halloween costume” Hoseok smirks

“Shut up hyung” Jungkook flushes

“You didn’t reply who you’d pick in the squad to make this fantasy come true” Taehyung pouts

“I’m not picking any of you” you laugh sarcastically “Now let me make you suffer Jeon Jungkook” you stare at him

“W-Why me?!” jungkook blinks at you

“This is a dare for you. Give a kiss to Jimin on the cheeks”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t kiss guys especially when they’re Park Jimin” Jungkook replies

“I feel offended now” Jimin puts a hand over his chest

“Oh shut up with ‘I don’t kiss guys’ ish, I’ve seen you kiss Taehyung that other time” you nudge jungkook

“I NEVER KISSED TAEHYUNG!!IT WAS NOT WILLINGLY AND IT WAS NOT REAL EITHER” Jungkook shots up

“Bruh you guys kissed?!” Hoseok put his palm over his lips “TAEKOOK SAILED!!!”

“We did NOT!!” jungkook argues

“ I helped Jungkook to pretend he had a Girlfriend that one time, so we acted out a little scene” Taehyung replies “We did not kiss, you don’t have to freak out Y/N” taehyung would pat your arm

“Who’s freaking out? I’m not freaking out!” you furrow your brows

“I just figured you might be a little jealous of me” Taehyung grins

“Yeah, obviously” you chuckle “Jungkook must be one hell of a good kisser then.” You smirk

“Tell me about it” Taehyung gives you a perverted glance

“STOP GIVING THEM THE WRONG IDEA, HYUNG!!”Jungkook shouts    

“Sorry Jimin, but Taekook sailed…” Hoseok taps jimin shoulder

“Why is my life so pathetic…?” Jimin took a shot “I just broke up with my girl and now Jungkook rejected me”

“Don’t be like that hyung” Jungkook would pats jimin’s shoulder “I’m sorry for your girlfriend. I promise you’ll find the right one soon.”

“That’s true Jimin-ah. We can get a drink together sometimes. Don’t feel so destroyed. You’re an amazing man” Jin would reassure jimin

“That girl doesn’t know what she’s missing” Hoseok replies smugly “You got so many hoes and she’s just one of them”

“Hoseok, can you just shut up please?” you glare at Hoseok before petting jimin’s hair “She probably had her reasons. Remember that we’re always there for you Chimchim” you hold onto his hand

“B-But I loved her so much” Jimin would bury his face in his hands

“There are many girls waiting in line for you. It’s okay! Just think like the old Playboy Jimin would.” Namjoon tries reassuring him

“I thought she was different…That girl changed me” Jimin sniffed “I thought she was the one”

“Don’t let her break you down like that” Taehyung smiles before adding “Girls act out weird sometimes”

“Excuse me?” you gave a stare to Taehyung

“Hum. Yeah. No. I think I’ll just drink and shut up” Taehyung giggles

“Come here “you pull jimin in your arms as you cuddle him and play with his hair “I’ll tell you a little secret” you whisper in jimin’s ears

Not fair. She never cuddles me like this, Jungkook pouts

“Girls may hold grudges for long, but she will eventually come back” you whisper in jimin’s ears

“How do you know that?” jimin stares at you

“Let her time to cool off” you ruffle his hair “And then impress her”

“Y/N, please give me some attention too” Jungkook tugs on your sleeve

“Jesus, you’re such a child!” You chuckle before staring at him “I dare you to stay silent for the rest of the game till someone chooses you for another truth or dare” you reply

“RUDE.” Jungkook replies in an offended tone “Do you hate me that much?!”

“I do it because I adore you” you pinch his nose in between your fingers

“Sure” jungkook sighs “I’ll stay shut but before that, I’ll ask a little question too” he replies “My question is for Jin.”

“Yes?” Jin blinks

“If you had a chance to date Y/N, would you do it?”

Your eyes rounded automatically and you slapped his arm aggressively while communicating with your eyes. You and Jungkook could understand each other with your facial expressions.

Why would you ask him such an embarrassing question?!!! You stare at jungkook

It’s about time he knows you like him! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. He stares back at you

DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!! YOU BETTER REVERSE THIS ISH OR I’M REVEALING YOUR DARKEST SECRETS, You glare at him

GO AHEAD, YOU THINK I’M SCARED?!!! SORRY.BUT WHAT IS DONE IS DONE, he gives you a mocking face

I’LL KILL YOU, your eyes threaten him

I LOVE YOU TOO. He smiles sarcastically

“Y/N is a sweet girl! Who wouldn’t want to date her?” Jin smiles sweetly

“That’s not the question. Would you date her?” Jungkook adds fuel to the fire

YOU BETTER SHUT IT NOW ROMEO. I WILL CUT YOUR BALLS IF YOU KEEP ON GOING, you tug on his sleeve

TRY TOUCHING ME THERE, He smirks

I’ll f*cking murder you, you grit your teeth

“I would date her. She’s really cute” Jin smiles at you

OF course he’d say that, jungkook internally rolls his eyes

“O-Oh….yeah…t-thank you” you blush before staring at jungkook “Now you better shut that pretty mouth for the rest of game” you tap jungkook’s lips with your fingers

“I’ll ask one question to Yoongi then” Jin suddenly comments

“Did you just include me in this game?” Yoongi glared at jin

“Of course you should participate, you’re still our close friend” Jin smiles “So I have a dare for you”

“Oh no, you did not go there” Hoseok gasps

“Tie your hair into apple hair” Jin chuckles as he stares at yoongi

“He will murder you” Taehyung shook his head

“RIP Jin Hyung” Jimin sobs

Yoongi stares at everyone lifelessly.

“You can expect to go to hell for making me do this” Yoongi threatens and all guys gulped on their saliva

“Do you want me to lend you a hair tie” you poke yoongi with a smile and he only gives you a sigh of exasperation

“I don’t even know anymore” Yoongi sighs “Why am I even here in the first place?”

“I’ll make your hair for you” you smile at yoongi as you tie his bangs into apple hair “So KYUUUTTTEEE” you squeal and clap your hands

She never tied my hair and said it looked cute. Please give me some love and attention too. jungkook internally pouts

“I get to give a dare this time?” Yoongi sighs “Jeon Jungkook. This one is for you”

Why is he choosing me? Do I look like a Pokémon you can just pick?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME??!!! Jungkook only sighs in response since he’s supposed to keep quiet

Yoongi on his side had a plan to finish up this game and go back home as soon as he could.

“Oh I forget to mention that it’s a gift for Jungkook and a dare for Y/N” yoongi clarifies

PARDON?!!!A GIFT FOR ME AND A DARE FOR HER? I DON’T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!!!!,  jungkook shudders

“A dare for me?” You blink this time “How come my dare is a gift for this kid?” you poke jungkook’s arm

“I don’t know where this is going, but I’ll just sit back and watch the genius do his job” Hoseok sits back while sipping on his beer

“The dare is to sit on Jungkook’s lap for the rest of the game.” Yoongi smirks at you

WHY IS MY LAP INVOLVED IN HER DARE???! CAN’T THEY LEAVE MY POOR SENSITIVE BODY ALONE! jungkook cringes his face Ugh, I’m getting drunk on top of it. PLEASE NO. Y/N. SAY NO.I BEG YOU.MY PANTS ARE BEGGING YOU TOO.

“Sit on his lap? How is that supposed to be a gift for Jungkook? He’ll only get burdened” you chuckle “I mean, I’ve been eating quite a lot of sweets nowadays” you giggle

“Just hop on it and I promise you’d understand what we mean” Taehyung winks at you

WHAT?! DO I LOOK LIKE SOME OBJECT PEOPLE CAN JUST HOP ON FOR FUN?!I THOUGHT I WAS THE BUNNY HERE, WHY WOULD SHE HOP ON ME….oh…wait…now I get it* CRIES THE ENTIRE HAN RIVER* HE’S LIKE ASKING HER TO HOP ON MY DICK INDIRECTLY.OH GOSH I HATE THESE HYUNGS.I’LL POISON THEIR DRINKS.

“Sure. I mean Why not?!” You smile at Taehyung “As long as it causes no harm to anybody I’m cool with it”

GIRL NO.HELL NO.YOU’RE GOING TO CAUSE HARM TO ME.UGH…and I CAN’T EVEN SAY A F*CKING WORD!!!

You grabbed Jungkook’s hand and his eyes wavered from your eyes as he tried staying composed from your touch. His eyes laid lower to check out how you were dressed again. Here is was, his worst nightmare. The damn Booty shorts. It was so humid outside and you chose to wear these when you came here.

HOLY MOTHER OF THE BOOTY SHORTS * cries* we’re f*cked for real this time.

Jungkook didn’t noticed because he always does his best to avoid looking at exposed areas of your body. He can’t believe he hugged you so casually a few hours earlier. Your shorts were a detail he always avoided to look at and this time he won’t have a choice but to give them a second closer look.The cut of of these destroyed jean shorts were the kind that he hated. The kind of shorts that had busted holes in the front since they were fashionable. That was not the main problem.The real problem about these shorts was the fact that whenever you’d bend or sit, they’d get magically shorter. That was the reason why you would usually tie your vest around your waist, but this time your vest was drenched and in the drying machine.

Might as well just play along with it and treat her as if she’s a plant.Yeah, jungkook, she’s a green plant and you’re not the kind of guy who’d get horny over a plant, right? *cold sweats*

He crosses his legs in an open position as he chooses a more comfortable way for you to sit. He thought that sitting like a chair would prevent his worst nightmare from happening. A position that won’t drive him over the edge every time you move or shift on top of him. Well that’s what he thought.

Yeah, if I sit like this it won’t be a problem right? He’d reassure himself

“Can I?” you ask first

Jungkook suddenly pulls your body to sit on his lap with no warning. You feel like you’re sitting on a chair and Jungkook gasps at that sudden extra weight on his crotch. You tried adjusting your seating position on his lap and jungkook suddenly freezed. He’d hold his head to the side while staring at the ground while gulping on that knot of saliva in his dry throat. .He was f*cked and that position he just choose was going to make him suffer for hours under you. Your shorts already started riding up a bit and he couldn’t even bare to look at you. Having drank one bottle and half of beer for the past half hour wasn’t going to help him out at all. He was already feeling the heat rise in his body.

“Look at Jungkook” Hoseok chuckles “He’s all tense”

“Oh, it must be my fault” you pout “I’m sorry, I gained a little bit of weight” you turn around to look at juingkook’s face

DON’T TURN AROUND. DON’T F*CKING MOVE.

Jungkook simply nodded to assure you that it was okay with an awkward smile. Unlucky as he was, the boy had to bear with your butt on his lap for the next hour. One wrong movement and he’d be screwed. Sitting on his lap was a thing but your attire was going to make this ten times harder for him in every sense of the word. The fabric of your shorts was thick while his sweatpants were thin enough for him to feel everything. He was going to suffer while you weren’t going to feel anything. It was his lap after all. He could already feel himself suffering from thinking of how horrendous and frustrating it must feel whenever you’d shift a little bit and the rough fabric of your jeans would simply create friction against his sensitive pants. He was going to suffer for the rest of the game and this was just the start.

“I actually never expected Yoongi hyung to throw a dare like this one” Jimin giggles

“How does it feel to have a girl on your lap jungkook-ah?” Taehyung nudges jungkook

Jungkook only stayed silent while staring at everyone with his does eyes. Bitting his poor victimized lips that would turn red by the end of the game. He had the look of someone who’s guilty of something and his hyungs could tell from the first glance.

“Why are you guys asking him so many weird questions” You raise a brow “Leave him alone?”

At least she’s taking my side *sighs*

“Y/N, we’re just playing” Taehyung chuckles

YEAH YOU’RE PLAYING AT MAKING ME AND MY POOR PANTS SUFFER.TELL THEM Y/N. PUNISH THE F*CK OUT OF THEM. Okay maybe not. That sounded wrong.

“You guys are making me do all sorts of thing” you nudge taehyung

“Blame Yoongi Hyung! I didn’t do anything” Taehyung lifts up his hands in defense

“My dare is for you Taehyung-ah” you smile sarcastically at him

“Cruel woman”

“I dare you to kiss Jimin on the lips” you smirk

It’s in these moments that I’m glad she can’t see me and give me a dare.

“A REAL KISS?” Taehyung blinks

“WHY AM I ALWAYS THE VICTIM IN YOUR DARES?! Y/N WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?!” Jimin whines

“I bet it’s a revenge because you didn’t pick her up and she had to walk in the rain to get here” namjoon laughs

“Or maybe Y/N is just into yaoi stuff. I mean this girl has a kink for police uniforms so I wouldn’t be surprised that—“Hoseok chuckles

Her kink is still sexy as f*ck, why does he keep on bringing it up? It’s not like something she should feel ashsamed of.  jungkook rolls his eyes

“Do you want me to include you in that dare too?” you raise a brow at Hoseok

“Okay no, I’ll shut up” Hoseok sits straight in a formal position

“Ok I’ll kiss Jimin, but NO ONE TAKES PICTURES!” Taehyung warns

“Hell no BRUH, I MAY HAVE SAID YES TO JUNGKOOK, BUT I REFUSE TO BE KISSED BY YOU” Jimin steps back

“That’s not fair!” Taehyung whines

“JUST DO IT” you lay your head back and jungkook’s little panic was starting to rise

N-N-NO…DON’T GET CLOSE TO ME!!!!

If he could he’d lay back his body away from you as much as he could. Everytime you’d turn around and shift on his lap he’d suppress a sound to come out. You only added up the fuel to the fire by turning around. He could smell your fruity scented hair and for some reason it was starting to build up this frustration through his body. He was in a position where he’s so close to you but still can’t do anything. He’d curl his hands into fists while constantly biting on his lip, killing himself and praying that you won’t move much for the rest of the game.

F*ck NO.WHY DOES SHE SMELL SO DAMN GOOD. *hides in a corner while sobbing endlessly*

“Come here jimin and kiss me” Taehyung pleads jimin

“HELL NO” Jimin’s eyes rounded

“PLEASE! I’LL CALL YOU HYUNG!” Taehyung pouts

“Of course, call me Hyung and I won’t mind a kiss” jimin smiles

“Really?!” Taehyung blinks

“You think I’d say THAT??!!” Jimin scoffs

“I’ll be part of your hoe fanclub “Taehyung pleads

“He has a hoe fan club too?” Your mouth forms a ‘o’

“I don’t need more hoes” Jimin frowns “You’re NOT EVEN WORTHY OF BEING MY SIDE HOE, SO —“

Taehyung takes the opportunity to peck jimin’s lips fast. Everyone’s jaws drop to the floor, including yours.You did not even expect Taehyung to do it, yet he still did.Taehyung just blew everyone’s minds with his act. Jimin was the most shocked.His lips that were usually stained with the various lipsticks of many girls were now stained by Taehyung’s lemon chapstick.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??!!” Hoseok steps back

“OH MAN HOLY SHIT!!!!!!” jungkook suddenly shouts “THEY DID IT FOR REAL!!!!”

“F*ck this shit. I think I’ve seen enough for tonight, I’m leaving” Yoongi gets ready to get up

“You’re staying here, sugar” Jin pull yoongi to sit down

“I’m not your sugar” Yoongi glares at jin

“You’re my sweet ingredient so you stay here” Jin pats Yoongi’s back and yoongi sighs in defeat

On the other side it was another story for jimin

“How DARE YOU??!” Jimin put his hand over his lips as a blush started to form on his cheeks

“Sorry Jimin, I just had to make you shut up” Taehyung sighs “On another note, I think you should change up your chapstick.It tastes like rotten apples”

“I think I’ll go get some water” Jimin fans himself

“You’re savage Tae, I didn’t expect that at all” you whisper to taehyung “Can’t you see how hot and bothered Jimin looks now?!” You blink

“It’s okay! He’ll get over it, eventually!” Taehyung giggles “So it’s my turn this time to ask a question~”

Everyone stares at him in disbelief.

“Okay so my question is for Y/N” Taehyung stares at you

“Why did you pick me again?!” You whine

“Does size matters for you?” he smirks

WTF IS THIS KIND OF QUESTION??!! WHY DO YOU ASK HER THIS WHILE SHE’S LITTERALLY SITTING ON ME * FACEPALM *

Jungkook suddenly feels himself flush and tense up for some unknown reason. He had no idea why these questions were so dirty and so awkward, but this mood was making feel quite hot in this shirt.What if you could feel his size by accident while sitting in this position? What if he’d have trouble staying in place for the next hour and you’d get to know about the heat that has been rising in his pants.What if you could feel him and be disappointed? In fact he was curious about your reply but afraid at the same time. What if your reply makes him ten times more frustrated?

“Size? I mean, a girl can expect something up to her standards. As long as the performance is good…” you reply slyly “I’m just kidding “you blush as you cup your cheeks as you realize that Jin is still in the room

Jungkook felt this weird feeling in the pit in his stomach and he chose to shrug it off by commenting and playing along with you.Maybe it’d make him less nervous and it’d help him forget about this constant frustration that has been building up.

“You make sly comments and then you blush” Jungkook chuckled “Girl, get a grip over yourself”

“Shut up Jungkook, you’re obviously enjoying this” Taehyung giggles

“NOT” Jungkook fans himself awkwardly

The thickness of your shorts rubbing on him was making his breathing hitch.His lips were aching to let out a sound but his teeth were sinking so deep down his bottom lip that only little whimpers could be heard.You’d chuckle and clap your hands while playing and he’d casually have to bear with the pain to stop his raging desire to take over him. The fabric of your jeans would create that sinful friction on his crotch area whenever you’d move from side to side.

UGH.SEND ME SOME HELP.I NEED A MOTHERF*CKING CUP OF HOLY WATER. NOT SOME STUPID ALCOHOL!!!

“Oh I have another one for Y/N! Who do you think has the biggest size in this room?” Hoseok smirks

WHY WOULD YOU ASK HER THAT??!!! Of course they’d make my life ten times harder… *digs a hole for his own funeral*

“Do you really want me to answer this?” you raise a brow “Man, I never saw anything, how am I supposed to know”

“Girl, just answer with the feel. There’s probably a guy in this squad that you’re expecting something from” jimin chuckles

Of course, she’s probably expecting something big from Jin, Jungkook would sigh in his inner thoughts

“I’ll go with Hoseok…”you tilt your head to the side “I’ll give you this one, cause’ you asked me the question” you chuckle “Happy now?”

“I’m quite satisfied” Hoseok laughs

“From what I personally saw, the biggest one here is the guy sitting beside you” Jimin suddenly shows up with a smirk

WTF ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE JIMIN HYUNG??!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE RECOVERING FROM THE KISS TAEHYUNG JUST GAVE YOU??!

“The guy sitting beside me?” You turn to your left and meet eyes with Yoongi

“Do I look like the kind of man who’d show my privacy to these worthless strippers?” Yoongi stares at you in disbelief

You blink at him for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. Yoongi really didn’t want to be there and it showed all over his behavior and his facial expression.

“We’re NOT STRIPPERS” taehyung reply in a very offended tone “Maybe Hoes, but not strippers”

“Someone put some tape over Taehyung’s mouth please” Namjoon face palms

“Okay I’ll be more precise. The guy sitting under you” Jimin giggles

You chuckle at yoongi’s hilarious response and turn to you turn around before meeting eyes with a very shy jungkook who’s awkwardly sipping on his beer as if it was apple juice.Red cheeks and very active eyes who’d glance everywhere but in your direction. Jungkook was nervous and he did not want to hear a response from you.It was already killing him to know that you’re now aware of this embarrassing information. Not that it was an embarrassment for him, he was rather proud to have the biggest size, but it was awkward in his perspective to tell you about this.

“Boy, why are you so red? Are you drunk?” you put your palm on his cheek and you can feel the heat radiating from him

DON’T TOUCH MY CHEEEKSSS!!!!!! * cries*

“Come on Jeon, why are you acting all shy now? You’d always show it off and brag when we’d be in the locker rooms” Hoseok rolls his eyes

“Shut it” Jungkook glares at his hyungs

“You actually brag about it? Whoah kook, I’m learning all sorts of thing from you today” you raise a brow “I didn’t expect you’d have the biggest size either” you punch his arm “You’re quite the man, huh?” you chuckled

Your jeans rode up and he could see from the side of his vision your exposed skin. Being dazed from your scent, your skin exposure and your proximity, it was currently driving him over the edge. You were so close yet so far. Beads of sweat along his side burns were glistering and falling right down from his jaw to his neck. Jungkook was nervous and anyone could tell from the first glance that he was suppressing himself to not move.

Let’s stay cool and not make this too obvious *puts professional mask on*

“I don’t know if I should feel offended by this comment or be happy, but thank you anyway. Can we please pass to the next question and stop talking about my size? ” Jungkook cringes his face

“Embrace it, BRAT. It’s not every day that you get to have that kind of size! “Hoseok replies

“Freaking embarrassing” jungkook face palms

“It’s okay jungkook-ah. Don’t be ashamed. I can brag about you now” you nudge him

“W-What? “He blinks at you “You’ll BRAG TO WHO ABOUT THIS? YOU NEVER EVEN SAW THE REAL THING.”

“Should I see it?” you smirk

EXCUSE ME?!!! Jungkook’s eyes almost dropped out of their sockets

Your comment just made his blood rush with anticipation and his sweatpants feel a bit tight for some weird reason. His heart jumped and he was suddenly pulsating with desire. He was restraining himself from breathing heavily because for some reason he found this straightforward side of you kind of aggressive and sexy. You were slowly turning him on and he was slowly starting to lose control over himself.Heat was rising everywhere on his skin and he needed a freezer to cool down.  

The boys let out ‘whoos’ and screams in excitement while jungkook’s jaw is dropping on the floor.How in the world did these kind of words managed to slip out of your tongue.Who knows? Maybe you really wanted to see something.

“THAT GIRL IS STRAIGHTFORWARD AND I LIKE IT!” Jimin stands up

“I’m just kidding guys” you chuckle “I think I’m getting too drunk” you cup your warm cheeks “Sorry, I thought It’d be cute to tease Jungkookie”

“Man, she just called you cute” Hoseok shook his head “Y/N, we just told you he had the biggest one yet you call him cute?”

“B-But he’s still my cute little Jungkook” you pout “Right, kookie?” you pinch his cheeks

“I ask for a re-match, I refuse to look at my dongsaeng being called cute when he has the biggest size in this room!” Hoseok stands up

“H-Hyung, DON’T DO IT” jungkook glares at Hoseok

“I choose the next dare” Hoseok says in a definitive tone “Go ahead and ask your two questions Y/N, because I’m choosing the next dare”

TO BE CONTINUED…


REQUEST/COMMENT FOR A PART 2 AND I’LL MAKE IT COME TRUE~

meadow105  asked:

I can just imagine the rest of the Ruby Squad (except for Army, she's a little violent) interacting with baby Steven in RMS!AU. What if they watch Steven grow up? I wonder what friendships they will form as the years roll by? I wonder what things they'll learn?

I too can easily imagine the Ruby Squad interacting with baby Steven. Good thing I have sketches of them doing just that I need to tidy up and color before I post it up soon!

I don’t think Army is as violent as she just inclined to get loud and physical because.. that’s what a Ruby is generally like or expected to behave. But she would have the hardest time curbing her innate aggression and understand that punching is not acceptable way to greet someone who isn’t a full-grown gem. 

Otherwise, I like to think that she would adore this pebble!

Things that happen while they help raise Steven (because of course this boy needs an army of lesbian moms to take care of him):

  • “You can’t put Steven in the sand and expect him to grow into a full-sized Quartz in a matter of weeks. Human babies don’t work that way.”
  • Loads of diapers. And constant crying. They learn just how nice and pivotal sleeping actually is for their health, especially Eyeball. She could sleep for days when someone else is caring for Steven.
  • Garnet (Rupphire) + Eyeball friendship! Pearl too, more or less, since I’m sure those two will have plenty things to talk about (or argue) involving Rose.
  • Amethyst + Ruby Squad friendship! 
  • What if baby Steven was able to use his floating powers? Whenever Doc and Army aren’t paying attention to him like they should, he “disappears” and those two end up panicking because Navy isn’t someone they want to upset if she decides to look into an empty crib. 
  • “He’s now as big as an Aquamarine and, thank the Stars, not a brat like one. I was getting a little worried.”
  • His favorite video games align with the Rubies’ interests. Navy and Leggy get into Animal Crossing because of him.

  • Steven’s well-being becomes Eyeball’s top priority. “Steven is sad. Here’s some money. Go to the Big Donut and get him 20 of those chocolate cats he loves so much.”
  • Steven’s first visit to a zoo is also the Ruby Squad first visit. They were expecting to see some more humans there, but instead there are Earth animals that they have never seen around the beach or forests in Beach City. Steven loves the lions and wolves, and they do too. Navy loves the pretty birds. Eyeball loves the tigers. Leggy likes turtles. Doc wonders if the “cool, stripey horses” can be ridden like the fancy, “frozen” ones at Funland.
  • Every year for his birthday and when he’s big enough to do so, they drive around in those little kazoo-racer cars with him. They just don’t consider themselves above “childish” activities.
  • “He’s as big as a Ruby. Is he a Ruby now? Can I give him a punch on the shoulder now?”
  • Steven remains as big as a Ruby for quite a while and the Ruby Squad is so sure that he’s a Ruby. But Eyeball knows better. Eventually, he’ll grow to be taller than them. Taller than Pearl and Garnet. Maybe become as tall as Rose. And Eyeball just isn’t looking forward to that.

“I had a black eye. I’d been in a fight the night before … I’d went into McDonald’s with this girl I had been dating, and it was late night and there was no seats. I asked this guy and this girl that he was with if we could sit at the same table as them. We sat down, and quite quickly he started being rude to the girl I was with, calling her names …He called her an ugly pig or something worse, and I said, ‘No you can’t, you can’t call her that. Get up.’ He’d been sat down the entire time so when he got up he just kept going. I realized I had to, at that point. I had to throw the first punch or else I’d look like a complete wimp. And I got batted. So I went to the Jon Snow audition with a black eye. I think that man who punched me in the face may have helped me get the job, so thank you!” (x)