who can't drive

The signs as things I've heard people say at school
  • Aries: hey if I died right now do you think I'd still have to do my exams in hell
  • Taurus: why? Was I not supposed to use hydrochloric acid? Oh... Then I have a confession make
  • Gemini: chemistry can kiss my fat ass
  • Cancer: I'm gonna die a virgin who can't drive, can't swim and can't apply the cosine rule
  • Leo: yeah so I said who cares? I'm like really over you, you can suck 10 dicks. But then he said good I'm gay anyways. How did I not see that coming? (Cries)
  • Virgo: (everyone was talking about chicken fillets and asked her if she used one) no I'm a vegetarian you idiot
  • Libra: (when asked what we should do to avoid having this test) maybe if we stay still he won't notice us and he'll think that nobody's here
  • Scorpio: I think murder in a science lab should be legal if you end up with a moronic partner
  • Sagittarius: Look all I know is I was blazing it and then it started blazing me and I had to take the bus home with my shirt half burned off. It looked cool though
  • Capricorn: if I finish all these biology notes in my next free period I think I'll have time to go home and watch every single Star Wars movie
  • Aquarius: it's a fucking conspiracy. How can every single science teacher that ever taught me since year 7 just leave school like that... Something's up
  • Pisces: (why weren't you paying attention)I was thinking about how Drake would say xylem

anonymous asked:

a fool: phil is straight me, an experienced gay who knows a non str8 when I see one: hmmm well he's a kind guy who can't drive and named his cactus after poe dameron so

straight people just don’t name their cactuses after poe dameron okay!

thedisdainfullysilentvisitor  asked:

After Elizabeth lost her father and had to face the fate of being parted with Will for years on end, even if he isn't the one she's meant to be with, maybe her character degraded slightly. It's happened before, female characters face so much hardship and then one final thing happens and they can't take it anymore. But even if she were to stay on the island, how tf did she get that dress? did some fashion ship wreck there or something? That small lil clip confused me more than answered any q's.

no one knows!! and you can’t even be critic (or just talk) about the clip bc apparently the fandom police will find you and accuse of the most incredible of shits!

how did she get the dress? who does she live with? how is she even sustaining herself???? how did she manage to go back to society even though she is a wanted pirate?? like HOW is she having that comfortable life? did we forget that in the after-credits scene she didn’t dress like that? how is she affording anything?? and again, have we forgotten that she IS the pirate king (like it or not fandom!) and thus she IS wanted???? her father is dead and we never heard of any other relatives!!! and even then, her father was executed and people would know why! like i’m honestly baffled, did she re-marry and inherit the fortune?? she’s raising a boy alone in society?? even if she is not back in society, how the hell did she afford that dress and that jewellery???? did she steal that??? why would she steal a fancy dress to pretend to be who she is not??? why couldn’t we have her simple yet appropriate attire of the after-credits scene?? will they EVER answer us??????

Popping in for a quick update. Haven’t been on much since getting home because I’ve been running chores (mom is thrilled to have someone home during day hours that can drive and do stuff for her while she’s at work), interacting with my sibs, catching up on games and shite I didn’t have at school, and babysitting my grandmother (god I love her but she needs to go home I am. tired). On Monday I’m flying out to Vegas with mom for a lil vacation and since I’m basically going to be in my hotel for most of it (she’s going for work things I’m tagging along just for funsies since I can casino and stuff now that I’m an official Big Kid) I’ll be drawing and working on lots of lore things and maybe writing? It’s gonna be good fun. 

But yeah, I’m not dead, just don’t have the time to sit at my computer very long these days because family

the types at a party
  • intj: shows up, is immediately disinterested, and starts to leave but gets unwillingly pulled in by the crowd
  • infj: shows up, and after about half an hour gets roped into a counseling session with a heartbroken stranger
  • intp: arrives halfway through the party and ends up drunkenly lecturing someone on astrophysics
  • infp: shows up and says hi to two people before getting overwhelmed by the crowds and retreating home with a good book
  • entj: shows up and ends up drunkenly bragging to everyone before crying in the bathroom
  • enfj: goes into hyper "mom" mode and helps three different couples work through their relationship problems
  • entp: spends the half the time trying to excitedly explain their newst plan to everyone before giving up
  • enfp: becomes best friends with everyone there, and busts out their dorky dance moves while somehow looking cool in the process
  • istj: is uncomfortable for about half an hour before unwillingly ingesting several cups of alcohol and becoming a party animal
  • isfj: ends up driving about seven people home who can't drive themselves
  • estj: is the designated driver, and is actually responsible
  • esfj: eagerly socializes for the first half, then consoles a heartbroken friend for the second half
  • isfp: stays on the side of the room, and forms a meaningful bond with the cat
  • esfp: somehow has amazing dance moves and makes everyone jealous
  • estp: dances with the esfp, and manages to look pretty cool (but not as cool)
  • istp: mysteriously enough, doesn't show up before posting a picture later of his/herself at the top of a mountain halfway across the world
driving a stick shift

me: ok it’s time to shift into first gear

my brain: ok. gas and let the clutch out

my right foot: ok. gas

my left foot: ????

my brain: let the clutch out

me: let the clutch out

my family: let the clutch out

god: let the clutch out

my left foot:

my left foot:

my left foot: dumps the clutch

sweetwatered  asked:


what did i do to deserve such beautiful people  .  . .  .