who can't drive

The signs as things I've heard people say at school
  • Aries: hey if I died right now do you think I'd still have to do my exams in hell
  • Taurus: why? Was I not supposed to use hydrochloric acid? Oh... Then I have a confession make
  • Gemini: chemistry can kiss my fat ass
  • Cancer: I'm gonna die a virgin who can't drive, can't swim and can't apply the cosine rule
  • Leo: yeah so I said who cares? I'm like really over you, you can suck 10 dicks. But then he said good I'm gay anyways. How did I not see that coming? (Cries)
  • Virgo: (everyone was talking about chicken fillets and asked her if she used one) no I'm a vegetarian you idiot
  • Libra: (when asked what we should do to avoid having this test) maybe if we stay still he won't notice us and he'll think that nobody's here
  • Scorpio: I think murder in a science lab should be legal if you end up with a moronic partner
  • Sagittarius: Look all I know is I was blazing it and then it started blazing me and I had to take the bus home with my shirt half burned off. It looked cool though
  • Capricorn: if I finish all these biology notes in my next free period I think I'll have time to go home and watch every single Star Wars movie
  • Aquarius: it's a fucking conspiracy. How can every single science teacher that ever taught me since year 7 just leave school like that... Something's up
  • Pisces: (why weren't you paying attention)I was thinking about how Drake would say xylem

So uh, it’s still raining. My house is another road past the ones on the lake thing and up a bit higher so it’s gonna be a looot more water before I flood, but this is getting crazy. 

sybilofthestars  asked:

Prayers for your safety, dear friend <3

Thank you so much! The storm has passed, so I’m safe now! We just have to pick up the pieces and try to get back to normal. The biggest danger I can think of right now comes from downed traffic lights at intersections. Florida drivers suck badly enough WITH traffic signals telling them what to do…

anonymous asked:

a fool: phil is straight me, an experienced gay who knows a non str8 when I see one: hmmm well he's a kind guy who can't drive and named his cactus after poe dameron so

straight people just don’t name their cactuses after poe dameron okay!

  • Theo: I came for the Werecoyote
  • Theo: I came for the Banshee
  • Theo: The dark kitsune
  • Theo: The Beta with anger issues
  • Theo: That's the pack I want
  • Theo: ... and what did I get?
  • Theo: I get a werecoyote who can't even drive to save her life, The banshee who knows more about fashion than being a banshee, the Dark Kitsune who turned out to be a bunch of flowers, a Baby!Wolf and a boy too obsessed with his jeep!
  • Theo: And who the hell is that?
  • Isaac: Hello! I'm back from France with my scarfs!