who can blame the guy?

6

I love how they just gave up on making I Dreamed A Dream sad after the first show

*warning Spies are Forever spoilers*

If you haven’t seen Spies are Forever, here’s everything you need to know:

-it’s a musical

-mostly people from Starkid, plus you’ll recognise a few of the cast from Poe Party

-Lauren plays two (2) women which I’m pretty sure is a record for her

-there’s the classic espionage femme fatale BUT SHE DOESN’T GET WITH THE PROTAGONIST AND THEY AGREE TO BE JUST FRIENDS. THAT NEVER HAPPENS PEOPLE

-protag spy dude has two possible female love interests, but he doesn’t get with either of them bc he’s gay

-turns out the real love story was between him and his spy-buddy Owen

-who happens to be Joey Richter so who can blame him

-guys a spy musical that destroys the Bond clichés and has a gay protagonist and manages to treat the female protags as actual characters rather than Bond-guy’s next exploits

-the gay is pretty subtle and a kiss would’ve been nice but hey I’ll take it

-maybe a sequel at some point

-amazing soundtrack

-Lauren says “fuck” a lot

anonymous asked:

What's the MOST EXTRA Bellarke scene you like?

The MOST EXTRA? Just one?!? These two are insane for each other. 

This is a tough choice, Nonny, but I gotta go with:

Originally posted by bellaamyblakee

Bellamy Blake, in the midst of a dangerous rescue mission, on his own and with no backup, because he couldn’t wait for a proper rescue mission to get to her, takes precious seconds to brush the hair away from Clarke’s face. This was so not the time to get soft, Blake. NOT THE TIME but he seems unable to stop himself when it’s about Clarke and who can blame the poor guy. Love makes us do stupid things.

BONUS MOMENT (cause I can’t help myself):

Originally posted by thehundredbellarke

Bellamy Blake pulling the same soft move after finding the nerdiest, most unnecessary reason to touch Clarke Griffin. 

Please, Bellarke fam, reblog with your fav EXTRA moment from these two dorks in love. 

Types of BTS stans
  • Namjoon stans: fake deep but extremely aesthetic, the biggest perverts out of all ARMYs, would gladly drown themselves in namjoon's dimples, 50% secondhand embarrassment, 50% proud moms, wives and girlfriends
  • Seokjin stans: almost as fabulous as their bias and they know it, hella sassy, everyone wants to be friends with them, jin makes them either very emotional or very horny, there's no in between
  • Yoongi stans: sarcastic af but also very soft, they think they're savage but in reality they're sweet as sugar, actually really nice but they won't admit it, usually art hoes, yoongi spitting fire is their aesthetic
  • Hoseok stans: 150% chill, 100% sunshine and rainbows, spreading love all around the world, can watch hobi dance 25/8, in love with literally everything their bias does but tbh who can blame them, this guy poops glitter
  • Jimin stans: protection squad hoes even though they sin all day everyday, addicted to sexy/cute jimin videos, not even trying to pretend they're pure but somehow they're actual fluff balls, screamers
  • Taehyung stans: adorable little shits, they say inappropriate stuff without realizing, very friendly and loyal, like to talk a lot about things that make them happy, probably running a sideblog for taehyung's eyebrows
  • Jungkook stans: in constant denial that their bias is an adult now, most likely leather pants biggest fans, they want to fight kook pretty much all the time, legit memes, good puns, either 200% chill or -17462% chill
connor x thick!!!reader hcs

kali me and our other friend were talking about this a while back, we’ve been seeing that theres a lot of “x chubby!readers” but they’re mainly focused on the reader being insecure about themselves and not that they don’t because i know myself and i feel that way more than sometimes, BUT i believe that things like writing shouldn’t always be perceived so negative THEREFORE we thought we’d make this x chubby!reader a little more positive :) -mod nat (idea by kali hehe)

-connor’s car was in in the shop for some reason but he wanted to pick up canvases for his paintings ( separate hc for later ;) )
-yknow how cynthia always has this new craze that she’s obsessed with? this time it was yoga
-so cynthia was like “the art shop in on the way to my yoga class, if you come with me i’ll let you go in afterwards!” and connor is like ok whatever
-so like he’s waiting for his mom outside the class in the lobby all grumpy n shit
-the classes are separated by age group, so you’re already outside waiting for your ride in the lobby
-there’s not too many seats open so you plop down next to connor
-your phone is tucked inside your yoga pants bc there’s no got damn pockets and then you get up to go to the bathroom and ur phone falls out and you don’t even NOtice
-connor calls out to you, “hey you dropped your phone.”
-and you’re OH JEEZ THANK YOU and head to the bathroom
-when you come back you starts a conversation with him and ask him what he’s doing here and he’s like
-”can’t you tell, i’m working on these glutes” y’all joke around and then he explains how his car’s in the shop blahblah
-your ride gets there so you ask him if you can exchange numbers and you DO
-connor is so DUMBFOUNDED and for two reasons
-reason one one being how stunning you are? he’s never seen a girl so beautiful
-everyone looks the same in this small town, so when he sees you his heart almost damn near explodes
-reason two being, how QUICKLY he clicked with you? honestly i wouldn’t blame him for being excited
-his mom finally gets out of class, “sorry i kept you waiting so long! let’s get out of here” “YEAH, you took long enough”
-he wished his car stayed in the shop so he could come with his mom every time she had class
-even on weeks where his mom doesn’t go to her class, connor is there, waiting for you to finish
-you don’t go to the same school so every time you see each other it’s almost like a reunion which makes it that much more special
-the two of you would just hang out, just talking in the lobby until the center closed
-it didn’t take long for connor to start rubbing one out to the image of you
-ONCE AGAIN WHO CAN BLAME HIM
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-you guys start dating after months of pining and YOU are the one to ask him out since he was too nervous to and you are IMPATIENT
-something that really upsets him is how he cant give you his shirts to wear since he’s a stick
-one day after TOTALLY NOT BUYING HIS SWEATSHIRT IN A LARGER SIZE he’s like “here, wear this.”
-and you take one good look at his build and one good look at your build and almost have a The Office moment before saying “connor. that’s not going to fit me.”
-and completely stone faced, he says “yes it will.”
-he is definitely your #1 hype man
-“you look good in that but i’d rather see you with it off”
-his favorite part of you is your thighs, he always says how he could be between them all day
-whenever you two are just hanging out he’ll trace the curve of stomach and lay his hand on your waist
-whenever you do get insecure he always tells you the same thing, that you are unique the way you are
-”no one has these curves, no one has these stretch marks, no one has this tummy, no one has this cellulite. no one is you, and i love you because you’re you.”

Not stayin//Daryl Dixon

Info: reader is Ezekiel sister, therefore she is pretty high up in her ranking. When Daryl has to stay in the Kingdom, Ezekiel has her show him around.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, oral sex, smut

Originally posted by andylincoln


When y/n saw Daryl, she was intrigued. She knew that he was an Alexandrian and had no chance with him but a girl can dream. Jesus came here with Ricks group, they want us to fight Negan with them and the Hilltop. Ezekiel wasn’t with it, but y/n wanted to, that could give her an excuse to talk to him.

“Daryl, you should stay here” Rick says to Daryl.

Her heart skipped a beat. Daryl, staying here? Even for only a few days, she’d be fine. She concealed a smile that spread across her face as her brother and Daryl were nearby.

“I ain’t stayin here” Daryl refuses throwing his hand back, motioning at the Kingdom.

She looked up, she was disappointed. But then again, who can she blame? The guy wants to go home, it isn’t a crime. She looked to Ezekiel, he had no opinion on Daryl staying or not.

She opened her mouth to speak but Ezekiel quickly stopped her.

“He must make this decision for himself” He explained himself.

She nodded and let the scene play out. It ended with Daryl standing alone as the gates closed behind his friends. Morgan turned to Ezekiel.

“I’ve got class with Ben” He excused himself.

“Daryl,” Ezekiel spoke, he turned to the duo “y/n, my sister, will show you around and get you set up with sleeping quarters”

“I ain’t stayin long” Daryl spoke.

“Well you gotta sleep somewhere tonight” y/n spoke as she walked towards Daryl.

“Farewell my dear sister, see you at dinner, I’m expecting you bring Daryl”

“Of course” She said with a smile.

Daryl walked beside her as she led him to the laundry square. Piles and piles of clean folded clothes sat on tables, damp clothes hung on drying lines.

“This is where you’ll find any clothes you’d need, but I know,” She turned to him with a pile of clothes “You aren’t staying long”

He nodded with a smirk and a stifled chuckle. He walked next to her once again as she walked. He couldn’t really focus, but her voice was so pretty and so was her face. He kind of wishes he wasn’t leaving but Alexandria is home. She pointed and spoke, looking back making eye contact to see if he understood, he gave empty nods.

“W-why can’t you go home?” y/n asked looking straight ahead.

“Negan took me after killing two of my group, I escaped and they’re gonna be lookin for me real soon” He said, he said it with emotion, it was obviously a sensitive topic.

“I’m sorry” She whispered.

The air became still and silent as they walked. He held a pile of clothes while she picked him up a towel from a friend. She stopped once they reached his door, it was a room with an empty bed and not much else.

“Ezekiels your brother, huh?” He asked.

“Yeah” She agreed.

“Get him to stand up to Negan, try, if not for yourself, me”

She shifted on her feet “So you think I care about you?” She asked with a smirk.

Daryl shrugged, she handed him his towel, they brushed hands and she felt her face get hot. He gave her a nod and opened the door to go inside, y/n went to go to her room.

“Wait, y/n” Daryl spoke.

She turned to him.

“Wait for me? I won’t be long but you gotta show me to the dining hall, yeah?”

“Yeah, I do” She nodded with a smile.

“You can wait inside if ya want, I’ll change in the bathroom”

“Okay” She nodded and stepped inside.

He went into the bathroom while she took a seat on the bed. There wasn’t much to do while she waited except wait. Counting cracks on the wall, broken window panes outside and floor tiles. Count how many times someone walked past the window or the florescent light flickered.

The bathroom door opened and revealed a wet Daryl, towel low on his hips. She tried to keep her eyes on his face.

“Are you okay?” She asked him.

“Just forgot my clothes” He spoke timidly, he was unsure of whether he should come out or ask her to get them.

“I can get them” She said.

“Are you sure? I can if you don’t want to get up”

“No, it’s fine” She nodded and got up.

She picked up the piles of clothes and met him at the door. Hands touched once again and a look was exchanged.

“I, uh, thanks” Daryl stumbled over his words.

Y/n skipped the bullshit and kissed him. She hoped he’d kiss back and he did. He dropped his clothes and kissed her back. Their hands caught in one another hair. y/ slid her hand down his slick abdomen and underneath the towel. She grabbed his cock and he groaned into her mouth. They pulled away and y/n fell to her knees in front of him. She undid his towel and his cock sprung up. She smirked and looked up at him, he looked embarrassed but so turned on at the same time.

She wrapped herself around him and he threw his head back. She steadied herself with her hands on her lap, Daryl was holding onto the door frame behind him. She took him in until she gagged around him, as unattractive of a sound and sight, Daryl moaned out in pleasure. 

“Fuck” He cursed from above her, one hand now wrapping into her hair.

He guided her up and down his cock, the top hit the back of her throat every time. Daryl moaning turned her on, her making him feel that good made her clench her thighs together for some kind of relief.

“Stop” He suddenly spoke and pulled her off of him.

She worried she did something wrong and looked at him with concern. He picked her up and moved her to the bed, laying her on her back. At this point she assumes she didn’t do that bad as Daryl was yanking her jeans down her legs. She lifted her hips to help him, he took them off along with her underwear and boots. Daryl positioned his face between her legs and got to it. His tongue exploring her, it had been so long anything would feel better than her hand at this point.

“Shit” She panted, her fingers in his damp hair.

Daryl continued to eat her out. He’d look up every now and then to see how he was doing and if she was satisfied. He eventually had to lay an arm across her hips to keep her from bucking. His scruff hit her thighs the right way, his nose wold bump her clit every now at then making her writhe beneath him. When he added fingers she was done. She pulled her head closer to her so he wouldn’t stop. 

“I-I’m gonna come” She cried out.

“Not yet” Daryl spoke and stood up.

She was left on the bed, just for a moment. It wasn’t long before Daryl pushed himself deep inside her. Both of them now equally desperate for a release, Daryl wanted them to come once and together, after all, he wasn’t staying long. They had to finish up quick either way for dinner.

He was up on his elbows above her as he thrusted. Her body moved with every thrust, she held onto his shoulders for something to hold. She moaned and he grunted occasionally. Both finally excited to have someone to fuck after so long.

“Shit” He groaned as she clenched around him, signalling she was close. He lowered himself to her ear and told her,  “Come with me”.

She could only nod, her mouth agape and panting.

“Now” He spoke and they both came together.

After not having anything in so long, coming together was even better than one at a time. She sighed in relief as she finally got what she’s been needing, and the guy she got it from wasn’t too bad himself.

A knock on the door startled them, y/n rolled off the bed, grabbing her pants and hid on the ground while Daryl answered the door.

“Hello, Daryl. I am so sorry to interrupt you but I was wondering if you know whereabouts of y/n , dinner is soon and she isn’t in her sleeping quarters” Ezekiel asked.

“Nah, but she should be stopping by soon to show me to dinner”

“Okay, very well, I will see you then”

Daryl nodded and closed the door. He turned and sighed with a chuckle. y/n rose up shimming her pants onto her hips.

“What?” She asked.

“He always talk like that?” He spoke while pulling his shirt on.

“Yeah, it’s his thing. Goes with the title of King Ezekiel”

“That makes sense”


After dinner, Ezekiel pulled y/n aside. Daryl didn’t leave the table as he needed her to get around.

“Don’t get attached, he isn’t staying” He spoke.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw your shoes in his room, y/n”

“Oh” Her face turned red “You can’t blame me”

“Goodnight, dear sister” Ezekiel said turning around.

Y/n turned to the table where Daryl sat alone. The rest of the hall had cleared for bed. She sat across from him, she got sad knowing it wouldn’t last long.

“How many walkers have you killed?” Daryl asked.

“A lot”

“How many people?”

“Three”

“Why?”

“To save myself. Why are you asking me all this?”

“I want you to come back with me, to Alexandria”


@sparklebutter @mariacroftt @littlemisscaptainfandom @rainbow-unicorn-pony

nightpool  asked:

Jane reacting to having read Detective Pony.

The fun thing about Detective Pony as written is that it acts as a vector for Dirkness - not in the sense that the self-splinter he laid into the book is going to hop out the other end and graft itself onto a new host, but in the sense that the key element of being Dirk, fragmentation, is contagious - the thing about revealing your fuckedness to a person before whom you had hitherto masqueraded as unfucked is that it immediately creates double consciousness within the afflicted party, having as they now do to contend with two of you, the fucked and the unfucked, which in turn creates two simultaneous states in them, the comfortable and the uncomfortable, the put-out and the not-put-out - and because it is in the nature of unfucked people to resist splinteredness - because properly functioning psyches, like properly functioning bodies, are self-healing - a person who finds themselves with a double consciousness not derived from culture or illness but from a particular, modular aspect of their lives will begin to contain and recontextualize the source of the split - a fragment of inconvenient information lodged in the mind is covered in mucus and pushed to the surface, where it can be expelled - so the incompatible coexistence of My Friend Dirk and My Fucked Friend Dirk is rectified, and only My Fucked Friend Dirk remains - the bit of empathy, patience, generosity that could be afforded to Friend Dirk but not for safety’s sake to Fucked Friend Dirk is sealed off and discarded - and, through an entirely natural process that nobody can be blamed for except the guy who invited Fucked Friend Dirk over in the first place in the form of a stupid fucking art project that got away from him, the splintered audience becomes whole again by reconciling the part of themselves that really cared about him away - it’s math, the straight line between two points - the guy who wrote this can’t possibly be the guy you respected and trusted, so he isn’t anymore, thought Dirk, as he duped himself a brand new copy of Detective Pony and started the fuck over from scratch

4

@kingoftheghosttrain meet me in the fucking pit o my god. the dagger is his penis

i won’t give up - part iii

part i, ii, iii

you’ve been branded a good many things throughout the course of your adult life; while a handful would label you kindly (and also half-heartedly) as a super fan, most have boiled you down to just another rabid sasaeng.you’re the only one who knows it’s not like that, and that’s because you’re the only one who really remembers. you remember a countless number of times, an infinite set of lives, and it’s always you and him — together. even if it never truly ends happily, you’re determined to make it so in this lifetime because, well, byun baekhyun is your soulmate, even if he doesn’t really know it yet.

    Pairing: baekhyun x reader
    Verse: canon
   Rating: M
    Warnings: none
    Word count: 5.7k

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thereallukeevans: This little bird did not wanna leave my shoulder at lunch yesterday. Was half expecting an involuntary ear piercing at one point as he looked longingly at my ear lobe…. what breed of bird is this guys??

The more I read and learn about abuse the more I have these weird revelation moments in which I remember things from the past and recognize them as abuse for the first time, events and behaviors I used to make excuses for.

It’s always a mix of emotions when it happens. There’s the “aha!” aspect of course, which is intellectually rewarding. It feels good to better understand something that happened. And there’s hurt too. But there’s also terrible frustration because it’s just like “AUGH! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT FUCKER DID THAT!” 

One thing I recently had to add to that list was diet sabotage. The realization came to me after reading about how abuser’s will sabotage victims who have a substance abuse problem, such as alcoholism. They’ll do things like bring home a six pack, even if they don’t drink, and say they want to have it on hand just in case their buddies come over (but somehow it’ll never get offered to said buddies). 

Now, I’ve never had a substance problem. But I spent much of my marriage on a diet, trying to lose weight (even when I was a healthy weight and in great cardiovascular shape). 

During those periods when I was trying to shed weight my ex would bring home a box of treats, make a point to tell me he had bought them for himself and I shouldn’t eat them, and place them in the kitchen. Then, after spending all day, or multiple days, resisting constant temptation I’d inevitably break down and have a treat. And not only would he sit back and allow me to feel terrible about it for breaking my diet, he’d pile on to my shame by making me feel bad for eating “his” food (food purchased with our joint grocery budget). I used to feel like such a gluttonous, selfish, loser

But wait a minute.

If they were really for him and him alone, why bring them home? Why not keep them in his locker at work/school? 

If they really were for him and if he really wanted them at home, why keep them in the kitchen? Why not hide them? Why make a big show of telling me about them at all?

And if they were really for him, why did it so often take ages for him to eat them? He wasn’t exactly the type to refrain from indulging in what he wanted. When it came to pot he’d get high multiple times a week. When it came to drinks he’d have so many I’d have to drive us home. When it came to porn he’d hardly go a day or two without watching. So why would he buy treats “for himself” and leave them forgotten for so long?

And why did it seem like he so seldom brought home the same treats when I wasn’t trying to lose weight?

Now I think I know why.

And it wasn’t just buying junk food when I was on a diet. When I wanted to be vegetarian it seemed like he’d purposely bring home the most tempting meat he could. We’d decide to have burgers for dinner. He’d had beef and I’d have a veggie patty. But then, even when we were super broke, he’d buy bacon as a topping. Bacon is fucking delicious. And it smells just as good as it tastes. So sometimes I’d cave, and he’d put bacon on my veggie burger. 

Now, I might be willing to make the case that he simply wanted bacon for his own burger and it was just my own weak will that sabotaged my efforts to be vegetarian. I’d even be willing to say (and in fact, used to make this very excuse for him myself) that maybe he was being a little unsupportive and selfish but who can blame a guy for wanting bacon? Except that not only was he incredibly unsupportive of my efforts to eat a vegetarian diet (regularly voicing his contempt for the very philosophy) but he also used these episodes to embarrass me in front of others. He’d broadcast my failure to stick perfectly to my vegetarian goal for laughs.

That’s something a lot of abusers do, “playfully” ridicule their victim in the presence of company. It’s a brilliant way to take them down a peg, often by targeting a flaw or mistake they know their partner is already feeling poorly about. And by doing it in front of friends or neighbors, or such, they insulate themselves from their partner’s displeasure. If she objects, he can simply manipulate the situation so that she comes off as the humorless and perhaps even unstable banchee of a wife while he’s the charming comedian.

Not surprisingly, after a while I gave up on being vegetarian. It was just too difficult to make that change with an unsupportive partner and housemate (especially considering all the other stress I was under by virtue of being in an abusive marriage). For so long I’ve believed I was just inherently weak-willed. It wasn’t until re-evaluating these occurrences in a new light that it dawned on me that I was set up to fail. And, in fact, when I think about times in my life where I had to abstain from something or add a new habit but he wasn’t there to interfere, I often accomplished those goals.

So now begins the long, arduous process of retraining my brain not to doubt my ability to do hard things. In these diet sabotage examples and in so many other ways, my ex eroded any sense I had in my own capabilities. He made me believe I was weak, and helpless. I just need to remember that, like so many other times and in so many other matters, he lied.

6

Enough! Enough! I’m so tired of this crap. I’m gonna be a 30-something retiree soon. Hell of a lot sooner than I’d like. Love of my life is getting remarried, too. So, so much for a family. And you bickering idiots is all I have to show for it! Our manager’s in trouble, guys. He could get canned any day. This is the same guy who takes the blame when we lose, when it’s us who plays Hacky Sack with the baseball. Yeah, same guy who didn’t just convince Stubbs’ ex not to sell their honeymoon pictures to a tabloid. He bought ‘em! All to protect his own player. Is Ginny getting us more attention? Huh? (laughing) Yeah. Yeah, she is, man. Which sucks, 'cause we’re losing in front of sold-out crowds. I gave my life to this game! So I got a radical idea, mooks. Hear me out here. How about we start winning in front of sold-out crowds? How about we start winning for Al and his job? How about you start winning for your captain, too? We’re gonna shock the world. And yeah, we’re gonna do it with a pretty girl in the dugout. Yeah, pretty girl, who, by the way, works a hell of a lot harder than you lazy losers. So maybe… we all start working as hard as her. Maybe we start acting like a team instead of a bunch of spoiled brats. Then maybe I’ll feel lucky that you guys are all I have. Yeah, lucky to be a Padre. For every last flickering minute of my damn career.

What I love about this post is that you can tell from the cropped off heart, bubble, and arrow at the bottom that Tom screenshotted it from the girl who posted it’s account.

So of all the pics they took at the pool (including the one of him with his boys) he chose this one to screenshot and repost.

Can’t help thinking Tom’s crushing on Z a little but and who can blame him? Add him to the list of guys crushing, I guess!

I’ve said this before, but I low key ship it. Not as much as Valdaya, obvs, but this is a cute distraction.