who allow you

Things I've learned since becoming ill...

• It’s nobody’s fault. It is genetic. It just happened.

• Do not be too proud or stubborn to ask for help. You need it.

• Brush your teeth and wash your face (even just with a baby wipe) everyday if you’re able to do so. It makes you feel more human.

• Shower or bathe whenever you are able to. Good personal hygiene is good for your mental health.

• Some people will leave. You don’t need those people. Others will stay and they are wonderful human beings.

• You are not a burden. You are not useless. Do not be guilty. Please. Guilt will eat your insides.

• You have not lost who you are. You just now have to make adjustments to accommodate this new thing.

• Accept the fact that you have an illness. Being in denial will only make your mental and physical health worse.

• Clean pyjamas are a divine gift. As are clean bedding and blankets.

• Self care is entirely subjective. If you want to do yoga then do it, if you wanna sit and eat takeout in front of the TV in a squirtle onesie then that’s fine too. Whatever makes you feel good, or at least better.

• If you are tired then rest. Do not burn yourself out. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if you need a nap then you have one.

• Talk. Write. Sing. Paint. Draw. Dance. Do something to express your feelings. Don’t keep them inside. You’ll explode.

• Don’t worry if you can’t adjust right away. It takes time. A lot of time.

• Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unfortunately illness often has embarrassing symptoms or such. It isn’t your fault. People who allow you to feel embarrassed about such things are terrible people.

• Keep your sense of humour. Some days it’s the only thing that gets you through.

• There will be good days. Grab them with both hands and enjoy them. Savour them. Spend them doing things you love, things that you can’t do on bad days.

• Prepare yourself to the best of your ability. Like…always have a hospital weekend bag packed for emergencies, keep a bed day drawer or bag near to where you sleep, have food or snacks close by, always have a water bottle…

• Take your meds. Please. If you have a serious illness for the love of god don’t listen to the “big pharma” conspiracy theorists. You need your meds. They keep you alive. They enable you to function.

• Research your illness. Keep yourself informed. But don’t dwell on what might happen. Please don’t scare yourself.

• It’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to feel down. It’s perfectly natural. But try to be as positive as you can. For your own sake.

• Your own health comes first. It’s not selfishness it’s survival.

• Be kind to yourself.

• The bad days can be horrific but the good ones are beautiful, and so worth holding on for.

• Don’t give up on love. Just don’t.

• You are a badass warrior.

Can we just discuss this? This was when she saw Rhea on her phone talking to Kara, and when she asked, Rhea blatantly lied to her face. Lena KNOWS she’s lying (and TBH, she always knew in the back of her mind that Rhea is shady), but she chooses to ignore it. She struggles, but she still turns away and continues to work. She wants SO BADLY to believe that someone (besides Kara) is truly good, and truly believes in her. She turns away, knowing better, because despite everything, Lena Luthor has a hopeful optimism that trumps her rationality simply because her heart is desperate for love.

This also ties into the headcanon that Lena knows Kara is Supergirl, but is in a bit of denial about it, simply because she wants to believe her life can be normal, for one second. For one second, she can have a friend who doesn’t have any ulterior motives, and doesn’t have a past that is tangled with her last name. Kara is her safe place, a place to go to hide from the reality of her life, and admitting she’s Supergirl adds layers of complications that I don’t think she’s ready to face. Lena Luthor is smarter than everyone, but she chooses to overlook certain things, almost as a reflex, to protect her heart.

2

Everyday that you get to work in music, I feel like it’s impossible not to love the people who allow you to do that. It’s amazing to have people who want to listen to something that you’ve made. It’s the biggest compliment.

Okay, so I just saw a Tony and music headcanon which I absolutely and totally respect, because a classical music Tony is an awesome Tony that is a valid way of viewing the character.  However, I also completely and totally disagree with it and didn’t want to highjack that post to disagree.  Basically, fellow writer, you’re awesome and so is your headcanon which is totally valid and legit, but I’m gonna rift off it because I keep arguing with the post in my head.  

Maria started Tony on the piano at a young age.  Howard yelled and complained about how the kid could never keep still, so Maria taught him cords and basic piano warms ups.  She told him if he couldn’t keep still, he could go over the piano fingering in his mind.  He could even move his fingers if he needed to, going through the motions with his hands at his side as Howard ranted at him about how his latest robot was a failure, and keeping him still enough for photographers to take pictures of the engine while Howard put on his fake smile.

Tony would often hang in the doorway as his mother played and sang, hesitant to come in and interrupt her.  Music was numbers and frequencies and all sorts of things that were fascinating to Tony, but he couldn’t quite manage to fit them together into a song.  

It wasn’t until Maria came upon Tony struggling through “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from Carousel that she teaches him how to play music.  Maria the brilliant scientist who loved show tunes could explain to a young Tony Stark how to make music from the notes.  

From then on, Tony was a quick study.  He would often play as Maria sat by his side and sang along, from My Fair Lady to Evita, he would play and sometimes hesitantly sing along.  He fell in love with the quick wit of Cole Porter, often playing a quick bar or two and sing in a sarcastic tone when Howard railed on him for his failures.  Maria was always more fond of Irving Berlin, and he’d play “Blue Skies” whenever she was tired or angry.  

He always liked it when she played Rodgers and Hammerstein.  Sometimes she’d play “Impossible” from Cinderella when Tony felt like he couldn’t meet Howard’s high standards.  He was always mesmerized when she sang “Some Enchanted Evening” or “Something Good”. 

He sometimes thought about running away and working on Broadway.  He never had a way with lyrics, but he could compose a tune.  Surely he could find a partner and they’d create loads of shows that would become world famous.  But Howard would surely find him, so close to home, and the one time he tried to sneak off to the West End while visiting Aunt Peggy in London ended with her taking out a man who had been following Tony for nefarious purposes.  She was kind about it, but she had to take him home.  

Soon enough, he gave up on that dream and entered MIT, but he still couldn’t shake stealing away into one of the music shops and playing the occasional tune.  Some of the others found out about it and bullied him until he stopped.  But Rhodey could sometimes pull him away and ask him to play a song from The Wiz or some of the old Ella Fitzgerald jazz standards.  He also started to branch out at this time, coming up with piano versions of rock songs that he would play to make Rhodey laugh.

“Try to Remember” was the last song he heard her play before she died, and was always one of his favorites.  It was years before he could listen to the song again, much less play it.  Rhodey was the one who sat with him when he finally managed it, softly singing along even though he was never much of a singer because Tony couldn’t quite manage the words.  

Steve was shocked to hear old familiar songs coming from the Avengers common room one night when he couldn’t sleep.  He walked in to see Tony at the piano, singing some of the old Cole Porter songs.  Tony switched over to his own piano rendition of Highway to Hell as soon as he realized Steve was listening, but Steve had already found out.  After that, he’d sometimes join Tony, sitting at the piano and listening to the old tunes.  

It was during one of those times Tony admitted his mother had taught him, and he played “Try to Remember” for Steve.  It wasn’t one he recognized, but it had a soothing melody that made him think of Bucky, who he was still trying to find.  It was then Steve decided he could never tell Tony about what the Winter Soldier had done.  `Tony was finally in a place where he could play the song as a fond memory, and learning the truth would only cause more pain.  

After everything burned down, Steve only felt guilt when he heard the song or looked at a piano.  There were a lot of things he would never do differently, but not telling Tony the truth was a mistake.

After everything burned down, Tony sat at the piano, but couldn’t play.  He stared at the keys, but couldn’t will his hands to move.  When Rhodey would ask him to play, Tony would smile and say he was fine.

He’s always fine.

Sometimes Peter would hear haunting melodies of songs he had never heard before when he visited Avengers Tower.  He never found out where they came from, but he kind of liked listening to the old melancholy tunes before Tony finally showed up and gave him the latest upgrades for his suit.

So, this is entirely @kazliin and their beautiful fanfiction’s fault, specifically the part where they used a song from Notre Dame De Paris for Viktor’s free skate. If Viktor is the singers, that would make Yuuri the object of Viktor’s desire, which means Esmeralda, and there you have it.

Bonus reaction Viktor:

Friendly PSA:

Do not keep people in your life who don’t allow you to be yourself. This is something that kept me from loving who I am for years. I would feel bad about every single aspect of myself. They made fun of my sexuality, my goals, my interest, etc. Don’t date them. Don’t keep them as friends. Their words bury into your mind and eat away at you overtime. You deserve people in your life who love you. My life has improved so much from cutting people like that out. If you have to block them do it. Do whatever you need to free yourself from that abusive situation.