white-zetsu

I’m doing this for my amusement. Pickup lines by the Akatsuki!

Itachi: Can I borrow your eyes? Mine can’t see clearly without you.

Kisame: Did you know the human body is 65% water? *grins* And I’m mighty thirsty.

Pein: …. I like your face.

Konan: Are you origami because I want to fold you up (me: Is.. That a threat?)

Zetsu: If you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cumber

Tobi: Are you a lollipop? Because I want to lick you all night

Sasori: …. *straight face* You can say I’m a master with my hands. *very slight grin*

Deidara: *winks* is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in them

Kakazu: I am willing to pay for dinner, will you care to join me? (Me: this is a really big step for you, Zuzu)

Hidan: I can make you scream. (Me: Another threat?) In pleasure! *giggles at his cleverness*

BONUS:

Sasuke: …. I kind of don’t hate you. *slightly blushes*

Orochimaru: I can do things with my tongue you can’t even imagine. (Me: fuck this I’m out)

~End~

30 DAY NARUTO CHALLENGE DAY NINETEEN day 19: favorite villain. I absolutely love the akatsuki but that’s too obvious of an answer. Nah that’s still my pick

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anonymous asked:

What do you think Sakura does that turns Sasuke on? We can't act like he doesn't have a sex drive , something has gotta make him horny lol

Who knows? That’s unpredictable because that side of his character was never explored upon in the slightest.

My headcanon? Nothing turns Sasuke on quite as much as when he watches Sakura enter badass mode. You know, when she gets that look in her eye…

Like when she punched Sai right in the face for badmouthing Sasuke:

Or when she had enough and destroyed Sasori’s puppet of the 3rd Kazekage:

Or when she beat down the White Zetsu posing as Neji:

Or when she turned the battlefield into her own personal playground:

Or when she ruptured Shin’s internal organs for daring to lay a hand on her husband and daughter:

Sasuke is rather similar to Saiyan males in that sense, because not to long ago in Dragon Ball Super, it was revealed that Goku and Vegeta were drawn to Chichi and Bulma respectively because they were very headstrong and wilful women. Sasuke is no different; He relishes the fact that his partner in life is the most powerful woman in the world:

And he absolutely loves it when she brings that side of herself to bed! XD

  • White Zetsu: Sasuke won. Itachi Uchiha is dead
  • [everyone has shocked looks on their faces].
  • Tobi: Whoa, didn't see that coming... NOT. Just as I predicted.
  • Sakura: S-Sasuke... killed Itachi?
  • White Zetsu: Sasuke collapsed like, a second later, though... What do you say? He's probably fading fast.
  • Naruto: YO ALOE VERA! WHERE THE HELL IS SASUKE!?
  • White Zetsu: "Aloe vera"...?
  • Black Zetsu: Just ignore him.
  • [Kakashi looks at Tobi and sees his Sharingan]
  • Tobi: [with Sharingan active] I'll play with you children some other time.
  • Tobi: I found it! I found it, Mr. Zetsu!
  • [Tobi takes Sasori's ring and admires it]
  • This means I can become an Akatsuki member now, right? You have a vacant place, after all.
  • [Tobi flips the ring into the air]
  • Black Zetsu: Idiot. It's not that simple.
  • White Zetsu: Why not let him? Tobi's a good boy.
  • [Tobi fails to catch the ring as it falls into a crack in the ground as Zetsu walks off.]
  • Tobi: Mr. Zetsu, wait!