Straight White Boy Problem #64

girls can get drunk and kiss each other at parties and get away without saying no homo. bruh if im sitting at lunch and im starving and i point at my friend’s half-eaten hot dog i gotta be specific ‘dude can i have your hot dog that is in the fry basket? no homo’

Straight White Boy Problem #101

girls take guys’ sweatshirts and flaunt them around like they have vanquished an enemy. Please stop telling people you are wearing my sweatshirt, I just want it back. I’m so cold

I am officially the whitest person I’ve ever met. I am the embodiment of every stereotype.

I’d never been to Taco Bell (yes, I know, judge me all you want) and today I came to the big city so I decided to try it, I got a burrito and I couldn’t even eat half of it before I started wheezing, was out of breath, red and puffy because it was “too spicy”.

Now I have a headache, my nose, stomach and my lips hurt and from now on I’ll stick to salt.

Straight White Boy Problem #837

*girl finishes hugging friend, turns towards me*

me: hey, dont i get a hug too? ;)

girl: *makes a forced smile*    *goes in for the side hug*

me (thinking): what the hell?  a “side hug”?????? side hugs aren’t even “real” hugs! i thought we were really good friends……we sat next to each other every. single. day. for a whole semester. who gave you your homework because you had to go out of state for “school activities”??? I DID. the LEAST i could get is a “full hug”!!! i mean….i full hug my grandma all the time and i’m not even trying to touch her bobbies……please…..i beg you…..give me a good hug…..

Straight White Boy Problem #886

girls say they don’t understand guys and guys say they don’t understand girls so i looked this up on yahoo answers and “Linda” said that this is because humans prefer to spend more time with same sex friends rather than opposite sex friends but that’s also like really gay so idk what to think about that

It’s just funny that people continuously claim black men “like” curves and a big ass but the same girls who apparently fit that “standard” keep telling me and other black women they “need” to lose weight. Y’all seriously want to pretend body dysmorphia and eating disorders is a “white girl” problem. You don’t believe fat and plus-sized black girls have insecurities about their weight. You kind of sound like the black people who call general mental illnesses “white.” You’re telling thick, fat and plus-sized black girls worrying about their weight is a “white girl” thing, and people accept them for who they are which is a lie. And it’s mostly black women telling them that. If it was truly about what black men liked, a lot of women with boyfriends and husbands wouldn’t keep expressing their want and “need” to lose weight and to be “in-shape.” Come on, now.

  As a thin black woman, I have the “ideal” curvy and thick black women calling my disabled and out of shape body “in-shape” while their bodies aren’t seen as such. I’m not oblivious about my thinness to not see the privilege and standard I fit into compared to other black women. In fact, I have people telling me to “maintain” my size because I’m not getting any younger. That’s from my dad. “You’re getting older and your metabolism will start to slow down. You gotta watch how you eat so you don’t get as big as your aunts and cousins.” So that’s why I say skinny black girls who say skinny shaming is a thing in the black community are lying.

Straight White Boy Problem #743

girls get mad when bros dont hold the door open for themm…..what?? i thought everybody got mad about that? I’m a GUY and i HATE it when a dude doenst hold the door open for me because I always have so much shit in my hands. like some sort of sports drink and a notebook. come on man…. hold doors open for EVERYBODY