white whine

buzzfeed.com
This Woman Found 'Octopus-Looking' Mold Inside Her Coconut Water And Now She Plans To Sue
And she's not the first Vita Coco drinker to find large chunks of mold inside.
By Julia Reinstein

Barbara: ALL I WANT IS CLOSURE! I’M NOT DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY!

Also Barbara: NO I WILL NOT SEND IT BACK TO VITA COCO SO THEY CAN TEST IT, TELL ME WHAT IT IS, AND GIVE ME CLOSURE.

It’s mold. I’m sorry it looks exceptionally gross, but it’s mold. You can tell it’s mold by comparing it to the dozens of other pictures on the internet from people who found mold in their Vita Coco.

Also, Vita Coco has no preservatives. Sometimes mold happens when there are no preservatives and there’s improper refrigeration after opening (your fault) or a tiny leak in the cardboard no one noticed (their fault). Pour your shit out into a glass before you drink it and move on with your life. Clearly you’re not dead, because you’re on the Internet yelling about this mold. Calm down, Barbara.

Okay it’s really fucking annoying though that we aren’t allowed to be excited about Black Panther without some white girl being like “BuT ThERes a MaLE LeAD”.

so we’re just going to ignore all the amazing black women in the movie as well just because they’re not the “lead”??????? Having an all black cast is really fucking important so it’d be cool if people didn’t dismiss that just because the lead is a male.

Morning Wood.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader
genre/warnings: smut
words: 970
summary: What’s the best way to wake up your boyfriend who has morning wood?


The sun was high, the warmth and light seeping through the window and painting the wooden floor below it a warm golden. The clock that sat on the bed stand read 12:41 pm, the red numbers standing out from it’s dark counterparts. You sighed, rubbing your eyes tiredly and running a hand through the hair of the body sleeping next to you softly, twisting small parts around your finger from time to time. You smiled a small smile, watching as the man stirred in his sleep, a soft whine leaving his parted lips. You ran your finger softly down the curve of his jaw, down his chest and then down his thighs. You loved his body. You always have. Every curve and bump is one of the many things that you love about Taehyung. He doesn’t have rock-hard abs, but that’s okay because you loved his tummy. You kissed it every chance you could and told him that’s okay if he doesn’t have a well-muscled body, that didn’t mean you loved him any less and you in fact adored the little bit of chub that would appear when he put on skinny jeans, telling him that it was cute and he shouldn’t lose it. He would blush and pout and say that he isn’t cute, he’s handsome; to which you didn’t disagree. And his thighs – oh god, his thighs – you didn’t know where to start with them. Sometimes when he would gain a little weight, you’d run your hands along them, marveling how soft they felt and leave little love marks on them when things got a little heated. You loved his chubby cheeks he’d get when he gained weight, they’d be the most adorable thing you’d ever seen and you marveled how he can be hot and cute at the same time. Kim Taehyung was one of the hottest and sweetest person you’d ever met, and you were glad he loved you as much as you loved him, if not more.

As you ran your fingers back up his thighs, you softly grazed his crotch causing a soft sigh to escape his lips and back arching off the bed slightly. You froze, your eyes widening as you stared at the sleeping man next to you. Your brows furrowed, your fingers grazing his stomach and landing on his covered dick. He was hard.

Was he having a wet dream? No, he couldn’t be.

You wrapped your hand around his cock, watching as the man furrowed his eyebrows in his sleep as you started pumping him slowly. You smirked, coming to the conclusion that your boyfriend, in fact, had morning wood. You shifted to get underneath the covers, darkness replacing your sight, causing you to take a few moments for your eyes to get used to the sudden darkness. You pumped your hand again, flattening your tongue against the base of his boxer covered shaft and trailing upward towards the tip. You listened to every sound he made, every sigh of pleasure and how his breath hitched in his sleep once your tongue was against him. You pulled his boxers down with your teeth, tossing them to the floor silently once they got to his ankles. You wrapped your lips around his tip, sucking lightly, your tongue flattening against his slit. His sharp intake of breath further convinced you to go deeper, taking in as much as you could and pumping the rest of what you couldn’t fit in your mouth to pleasure him more. He whined, the sound sounded like music to your ears as you bobbed your head up and down slowly, relaxing your jaw and breathing through your nose to take in more of him. Once you got to the base, his trimmed pubic hair ticked your nose and you pulled back lightly. You stopped and moaned around him as you felt his hand come to rest in your hair, massaging your scalp and pushing you back down.


“Y/N..” Taehyung sighed, his face scrunched up in pleasure at the sudden jolt of pleasure he felt when he woke up. He bucked his hips up into your throat, moaning loudly at the feeling of you bobbing your head faster and gently rubbing his balls in the palm of your hands.

“You’re so good, baby. Just like that – fuck” He moaned loudly, pulling the covers off over your head to get a better look of you sucking him off. You winced at the sudden brightness, your movements stuttering slightly. Taehyung rubbed his fingers against your scalp as a silent apology before pushing your head down and thrusting into your throat. Your eyes welled up with tears, hands clutching and rubbing circles into the sides of his thighs. You made eye contact with Taehyung, moaning against him to further increase the pleasure.

“fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, throwing his head back against the pillows. “I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m c-“

His moans died down to whines as white, hot strings of cum went your throat. You pulled back up after you swallowed as much as you could, sucking on his tip and pumping his base to further milk him. He patted your head lightly, signaling you he was now too sensitive and to stop. Taehyung helped you back up until you were face to face to him, your covered chest laying against his bare one.  You peered down at the boy beneath you, his bangs sticking to his sweat-covered forehead. He brought a hand to your neck, pulling you down into a soft, but passionate kiss.

“Ew, I can taste myself on you.” He said, face contouring into that of disgust.

“I don’t complain when you do that to me” You said, standing up and walking towards the bathroom to brush your teeth.

“Yeah, but when I do it, it’s hot!”

Watch on soletstalkabout.com

Ultimate Kebab White Whine

“My kids don’t eat green things.”

Oh well, let’s stop the world for little Brayden and Mackenzie and their malnourished diets.

This is why I no longer work customer service.  I am old and cranky and I do not have time for women like this.  The customer is NOT always right…and by that same token, neither is the service worker.  Why?  Because we’re humans and humans make mistakes.  If you ordered red peppers and they put green peppers on it instead, oops!  They made a mistake.  They are really sorry about it.  At least, they would have been really sorry about it if you try not to act like a total cunt because something went wrong.

You can tell a lot about someone on a date by how they treat customer service workers around them.  I have legitimately walked out in the middle of a meal because this dude was being an asshole to the waiter who brought him a regular baked potato instead of a baked sweet potato.  How hard is it to say “oh hey, I ordered the sweet potato” as opposed to “Are you hard of hearing?  Do you understand English?  What is so hard about getting my order correct?”

This garbage woman is obviously of the second tribe.  And she can run smack dab into every closed door from here to Kingdom Come.

*notices ignorant people wanking on my post about white people using Irish oppression to talk over poc*

*notices ignorant whites talking about how “the Irish had it just as hard as the blacks”*

*notices how many Black Americans today have Irish last names for reasons that aren’t interracial marriage*

*notices how no fully white Irish person is walking around with a last name like Anyanwu or Owusu*

Honestly y is ace discourse even real when the lgbt community has better fucking things 2 b fighting for here

Like, say, the rampant racism in our community?? “No rice, no spice, no [black men cause I forgot the term]” on every other grindr profile??

Maybe we could worry abt conversion therapy & homophobia from the church?? Things that are far more damaging and prevelant??