A movement saying that women matter doesn’t mean that men don’t matter.
A movement saying black lives matter does not mean that white lives don’t matter.
A movement saying that LGBTQIA people matter doesn’t mean that cishet lives don’t matter.
A movement saying that disabled people matter doesn’t mean that abled people don’t matter.
Saying one thing does not equal the exclusion of another thing. I can say I love the colour blue and that doesn’t mean I fucking hate the colour purple.
Sure, all lives matter but white lives are not being executed in the streets. Sure all lives matter but abled people aren’t being executed in the street. Sure, all lives matter but cis people are not being executed in the streets.
Stop acting like activism that isn’t for you is specifically against you.
When I was a kid, I thought everyone went to foster care at some point in their lives. And that everyone sometimes ran out of food in their refrigerators and had to live off of fast food and pb&j for the rest of the month. I thought everyone’s parents were divorced and that everyone got so used to hearing gun shots at night that they could easily sleep through them. Until I got older and I saw more and experienced more and I realized, not everyone lives the same life.
People that refuse to recognize their privilege are basically children walking around in adult bodies. If you’re in a position of privilege and you can say and believe that other people are just whining and didn’t work hard or didn’t behave well enough or didn’t have the qualifications to get where you are to be ALIVE like you are…you need to open up your eyes and grow the fuck up. Meet new people. See new things. Take a trip to the other side of town. Get out of your little box. Not everyone lives the life you live.
If something doesn’t apply to you, then you have no right to speak on behalf of a whole group that is affected by it. When women, the LGBTQ+ community, the mentally/physically disabled, Muslims, immigrants, POCs, etc. say that they are offended or that they are hurt or being disrespected or being oppressed or that they are fearing for their lives, fucking LISTEN TO THEM. Believe me, they know a hell of a lot more about their oppressions than you do.
So stop telling minorities that there’s nothing to fear or that if we just do everything the “right” way we’ll be fine. Not everything is so black and white and to act like it is is just showing that you are coming from a position of privilege that, unfortunately, not everybody has.
Stop telling minorities how to feel about what is going on around them and what is happening to them. They shouldn’t have to feel these horrible things- nobody should- but they are. The least you can do is realize that their feelings are valid and try to help them.
Stop telling minorities, “Oh, well, I’m an [insert minority group here] and [blah blah blah] doesn’t hurt/offend/scare me.” Because yeah, it’s great that you are in a position of privilege/power where you aren’t being affected by these things, but use that position to help others and just acknowledge the fact that not everybody has the same luxuries that you do.
Just because you can’t see or understand the magnitude of what is going on, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening. It just means that it isn’t happening to you. (at least not to the same extent as other people are)
Instead of telling minorities how to feel, listen to us. Open up your eyes. Don’t stay ignorant. Try to understand the viewpoint of different minorities and realize that although you will never truly be able to, you will have at least a tiny bit more of an understanding- you will gain some sort of compassion by doing so. Then find a way (or ways) to join in the fight for justice and equality.
Hey everyone. In light of the way the election is going, I feel like I need to make a post about it. I know this is so scary, I’m scared out of my mind right now, and I know I’m not the only one. I’m lucky enough to live in a liberal place and be surrounded by accepting and loving people, as well as having white privilege and cis privilege. But to my lgbt+ siblings who aren’t as lucky as me, to my brothers and sisters and siblings of color, all my lgbt+ muslim and jewish siblings, to my trans sisters and to my trans brothers, to my nb friends, to my gay and lesbian and bi and pan and ply siblings, to all my lgbt+ disabled and mentally ill siblings, to my disenfranchised, incarcerated, and undocumented lgbt+ siblings: I want to be here for you in any way that I can. This is scary and horrifying and makes so many of our futures so uncertain, and I wish I could tell you that everything was going to be okay. I wish I could guarantee that. I’m so sorry that I can’t. I love all of you and I know that’s not enough and I’m so sorry. I love and there are other people who love and this is so scary but we can be here for each other. We have to be, because no one else will be.
It is literally impossible for oppression to “go both ways”.
Oppression is when a lot of traditions, laws, stereotypes, and social rules give one group unfair social, political, economic, and/or legal power over another. Privilege is the opposite of oppression - it’s when you’re part of the group with the power.
The only time oppression can “go both ways” is when there’s a different group oppressing both of you for not having the same privileged trait - and you’re not oppressing each other, it’s “lateral aggression” (or “horizontal aggression”). Bi women and lesbians can be laterally aggressive, for instance, because we’re both oppressed for not being het, but neither has the systemic power to oppress the other.
Oppression also happens on different axes.
You can be oppressed as a woman and privileged as a white person. Since there are many axes of privilege - including disability, being cis or trans, and social class - it’s possible to be privileged on several axes and oppressed on several others.
Trying to figure out which kinds of oppression are worse isn’t useful or meaningful. The point of realising that you have privilege on one axis is to recognise your responsibility to work on ending that privilege, by becoming an ally to the people whose oppression gives you that privilege.
This is why there’s no such thing as “reverse racism” or misandry. Oppression isn’t about people not liking you, it’s about the power your group holds over theirs.
Angsty Black Girl Essay #3: Why is my Anger Not Valid?
I’ve been meaning to write this essay for a while now. I’d like to preface this by saying that I used to work at a racially diverse call center for a major retail company. I’d like to say that the Black and Hispanic population equaled if not outnumbered all the white employees there. Though everywhere you go as a black woman, you will experience microagressions, they were not as prevalent there. I definitely feel that I was unfairly targeted a few times by white management who were shook by my styles they couldn’t wear or because I laughed too loud–and we all know everyone thinks Black girls are just inherently louder than everyone else which is bullshit if you’ve ever been around drunk ass white people–but again, nowhere near the level of microagressions I am now experiencing at a predominately white call center.
Due to the nature of my work, I sometimes get frustrated with the people on the other end. It involves car insurance, so of course people will get heated. There are people here who are notorious for banging tables, slamming phones or just getting an exaggerated attitude with the customers. There’s a white woman who does it, an Asian woman and a white man. And me. But guess who constantly gets singled out whenever a call gets out of control? Me. When my team coach tried to explain that I shouldn’t get mad, I asked, “Is it because I’m black?” Then I checked him and let him know that the Asian girl on our team does the same thing, but he never calls her out for it. Granted, she is not on his direct team, but I already know why he only addresses me whenever this happens.
Black women are automatically expected to have a furious attitude over everything, and when we get rightly pissed off about things, instead of indulging our anger, a natural human emotion that everyone has, we get told to stifle it. God forbid a black woman get pissed off about anything! We’re supposed to just smile through the bullshit, which doesn’t make any fucking sense because it’s not like anyone is trying to help us or coddle us the way they coddle white women. I have to go through life on my own because this white supremacist society has fucked me over time and time again but you still expect me to never get angry about anything?
I already know why this is, though. White people are unflappably great at projecting all the savage shit they do onto minorities, but especially Black people. Case in point: angry white people are never viewed as a threat. Chef Gordon Ramsey yells at fucking everyone for making tiny mistakes. Fuck, that’s basically the reason people watch! No one says he has an attitude or is creating a hostile work environment for his fledgling chefs. Simon Cowell was the biggest bitch on American Idol and no one called him angry or said that he had an attitude for always insulting the ones who couldn’t sing. Bill O’Reilly’s fuck ass is always angry about some shit, cutting people off on his shows or hulking out over not being able to read a damn teleprompter, but no one will say he has an attitude! And these men are privileged, cis-het assholes. Why the hell are they pissed? But that’s just the men.
Angry white women are always viewed as radical, even the middle aged Beckys who get mad at retail employees for not accepting their years old returns or because Apple Care said one thing but then another thing happened. People listen to what they have to say because white women are always viewed as more important and delicate and therefore precious. Many movies have proven this to me. Case in point, there was this really 90s movie calledElection that had Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick in it. In the movie, Reese Witherspoon is a power-hungry, manipulative overachieving bitch who is running against the queer younger sister of her more popular opponent played by Chris Klein. She ran against her brother as payback because her ex-girlfriend began dating Klein’s character for the evulz. Her name is Tammy Metzler. Tammy is a bratty, whiny asshole. I understand her angst, though. I mean, come on, a queer, adopted teenager living in bumfuck Nebraska whose brother just unknowingly snatched up your ex? Not to mention, the entire school knows about her sexuality and disapproves. She eventually takes her 90s girl power angsty ass to the stage and reads the school election for what it really is: a bunch of bullshit. And that’s fucking great! I love this scene so much because it tips the nature of elections on its head in a high school setting. Everyone cheers. They love her because they also know it’s bullshit. But would they love her if she were a Black queer woman saying the same shit?
And it of course continues. Watching Clueless, I hated how they made Dionne the haughty one with the attitude. You were definitely meant to love Cher more, which I did when I was a kid. Save the Last Dance had another example, with Julia Stiles playing the wide-eyed, relatable fish out of water and her best friend, played by a young Olivia Pope, is the bitter, angry Black girl who got knocked up young and is now pissed that her milky white friend is dating an eligible black bachelor. Let’s not even get into the cartoonish portrayals of angry, fat Black women used for “comedy” in these shitty, hack-written mainstream flicks. Repeat until infinity.
I find it also funny too, because Black girl attitudes always manage to get appropriated in some way. Everyone hates black women when they get a bit pissed but don’t mind watching trash reality television where they are front and center yelling at people. Black men fetishize these same unacceptable attitudes from Black women whenever they’re in a non-Black body. I have heard my brother say countless times about the whole Sandra Bland situation that everything would have been okay if she hadn’t gotten an attitude. And don’t even fucking get me started on that fucking cash me bitch. Her fake attitude gets her in a Kodak Black music video where she can now get even more exposure. What does my Black ass get when I rightfully get pissed about how shitty I’ve been treated my whole life? Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
I know that just whining about it in essay form will do little to change the sad reality that anger is somehow always devalued when its coming from the rightful source. What the fuck are white cis-het men so pissed about? They have everything but for some reason, are allowed to be angry about their favorite sports team losing. Their violence is justified, even when it is completely nonsensical. I mean come on, how does “I’m rioting because a child molester who was also the coach of my favorite football team is now going to jail” sound? White women, who overwhelmingly voted for that guy, can march in droves yet when their own hypocrisy is called out from Black women and other POC, they will be quick to invalidate our feelings and tell us that we need to stand together and stop being so “divisive.” Meanwhile, two queer Black women organized Black Lives Matter and it is always labeled a terrorist group. Good fucking bye.
like don’t get me wrong the amount of people out and mobilizing for the women’s marches is awesome and it’s great to see such large forces in action but also I’m like…large amounts of the people out there are white and like why is this happening after the Fucking inauguration why didn’t y'all white cis privileged ass women rally like this before.. how come white women overwhelmingly voted for trump huh
And now it’s turned into this tbh kind of white feminism type thing like with all the cissexist and lowkey racist shit out there on signs and stuff that’s supposed to be motivational