white bedcover

Perfect Husband ( Jung Kook/Oc)

Chapter 5

In the early light of dawn, Ah Reum looks like a child, Seokjin thinks, watching the gentle slope of her bare shoulders half covered by the white silk of their bedcover. Her hair is messy, soft and fluffy, like spun silk in his hands, slipping through his fingers like flowing water . He almost reaches out and cups her cheekbones, but stops himself , wary of waking her up . Her breathing is gentle and uninterrupted, her face completely at repose and he’s sure that she’s never looked more beautiful.

He remembers the first time they’d made love. About a month after their marriage. He’d been eager, excited, looking forward to a lifetime of the vibrant , beautiful girl who was kind, selfless and adorably funny.

But she hadn’t wanted it .

Of course, she hadn’t said so. She’d nodded, agreed and said yes. Once , twice and then a countless more times when he’d slid into her, pressed her into the soft downy mattress in the oak, four poster bed of their 5000$ a night  beach resort, the sound of the waves and the rain permeating the air while he moved inside her in smooth, gentle strokes, her face framed in his hands while she had  stared sightlessly at the ceiling over head. Her gaze had been glassy and … lost. Like she wasn’t sure who she was, where she was, who was inside her and it had hit him like a cannon ball.

He wasn’t the one she was thinking of.

He hadn’t pressed the issue. Hadn’t even brought it up.

She had let him kiss her, pressed her perfect lips against his, allowed him to explore her with his tongue, to taste every inch of her skin, to touch and savor every curve dip and recess of her body with his clever surgeon hands. And she had enjoyed it, there was no doubt about it. Ah Reum was too inocent to fake pleasure , and Seokjin wasn’t exactly a bad lover. She had enjoyed herself, exploded around his fingers, his tongue and his body on countless occasions.

But  she hadn’t wanted it.

He straightens, moves away from the bed and moves to the bathroom, opening the door cautiously and stepping into the sprawling white room. He stops in front of the oval mirro, staring at himself.

He looks starkly beautiful, a kind of lifeless beauty he thinks. Seokjin is beautiful only when he’s perfectly still, hair styled perfectly, lush lips curved in the barest of smiles and wide brown gaze steady and sincere. He’s beautiful when he’s slipping into his pure white coat, slipping the stethescope around his neck, perfectly buttoned up shirt underneath, stretched creaselessly across wide, wide shoulders.

He’s beautiful when he’s saving lives, maybe, but not beautiful in general.

Not beautiful in the way Jeon Jung kook is beautiful.

Seokjin is art in repose. 

Jung Kook on the other hand, is poetry in motion.

Jung Kook is young, handsome in a masculine , rugged alpha male kind of way. Dangerous, sexy and alluring. Mysterious. . Probably the first to throw a punch in any fight.

Words that would never be associated with someone like Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin is a pacifist, a healer. He sticks his fingers inside living things, puts together broken pieces of muscle, bone and sinew and tries to restore order whereas Jeon Jung Kook is chaos personified. He destroys lives, wrecks them with his beauty, enchants with that angelic voice and enamors people with the way his hips move.

How could Seokjin compete really? It’s not a fair playing ground by any means.

They were both so different.

Like Summer sun and torrential rain, Seokjin thinks, washing his face carefully, smoothing in his foam cleanser into his face. He uses a no-nonsense , anti bacterial kind and he has less than an hour to be at the hospital so he can’t afford to spend a lot of time getting ready anyway.

It’s not a fair playing fround, but Seokjin isn’t going to give up, yet. 

When he walks back out of the bathroom, towel slung low on his hips he finds her sitting up, bleary and confused. She’s fumbling across the bed, fingers patting the sheets looking for her clothes. He catches sight of the bra at the foot of the bed and hands it over. She’s too sleepy to feel shy, he muses, when she sits up straighter, lets the sheet fall off her upper body, pooling around her waist . 

Seokjin feels his throat go dry. He’s a doctor. The human body ought not to arouse so much reaction in him but fucking hell, she’s gorgeous. breasts that fit perfectly into his arms, perky pink nipples that look like they can cut glass, a flushed pink tint to her skin as she shivers lightly against the cold. 

He stares at her, while she slips on her bra and buckles it up at the back. Her T-shirt follows and then her simple white shorts. He wants to climb back in, peel off every inch of fabric and slide into her again. He’s so cold and there’s nothing warmer than sinking into her, letting her close around him , letting her scent permeate all the cold recesses of his heart. He wants her. He wants her bad. 

But he curbs the urge. He’s late. She’s still tired from last night. Probabaly sore too. He’d been a little tense after work and … he hadn’t exactly been gentle. 

He wondres if it makes him a bastard. Knowing how much it probabaly hurts her to let him touch her that way and not do anything about it. but he tries not to think about that. He thinks , with time, Ah Reum will learn to love him. 

Once she’s dressed , she stumbles out of the bed and zombie walks to the bathroom while he moves to their shared closet space.

By the time she comes out, he’s dressed, slipping his watch on and adjusting the knot of his tie against the collar of his powder blue shirt.

“You look nice.” she smiles and he returns the gesture. He knows she means it. And that’s the essence of the problem, he thinks. His wife has never misled him. She’s  pliant , adjusting, reasonable. She likes him, possibly even loves him. But she isn’t in love  with him. And Seokjin has never felt the difference between those two phrases so strongly before. So strongly that he feels like someone just stuck their bare nails into his chest, clawed their way in, gripped his insides and were now ripping him open. He swallows the hurt and manages a weak smile.

“I have a meeting. It may run late. Don’t wait up for me.” He smiles and she nods, without moving.

He glances at the digital calendar on the wall. It’s the end of september already, just a few more weeks to their second wedding anniversary. For their first, he’d taken her to Paris. For her birthday, he’d flown her down to Macau and Vietnam and then spent a week in the Maldives. He knows now that the problem isn’t the place but the partner.

So he’ll let her choose, although he knows she’ll want to go back to Seoul. She’ll smile at him assure him that she’ll stay with her parents for a while .

I miss them, Jin, let me stay here for a few days, she would whisper. 
Okay, shall I ask someone to pick you up later?,   he would ask. 
No, I’ll be fine. You should go back to Busan. she’d probably reply.

And if he had an ounce of self respect, he’d leave her. Really.

But she’s still my wife, he thinks stubbornly. Mine, not Jung Kook’s.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jeon Inc., CEO is planning on retiring. .” Seokjin said casually, while I finished clearing up the plates from dinner. It was one of those rare occasions when my husband had come home for dinner, early. 

i didn’t cook. 

My fingers trembled of their own accord and I dropped the forks on the ceramic plates, the resulting sound feeling like some sort of an accusation as I tried to get myself together.

“Mr. Jeon?” I said nervously, my voice shaking a little bit more than my fingers. Seokjin hummed and stepped right next to me, gently nudging me away and taking the dishes himself. 

He cooked whenever he was home, so I usually cleared the dishes but my brain was slow to catch up and I let myself sit down on the chair.

Jeon Jung Kook. I wanted to cry.

It had been three years but I still wanted to cry when I thought of him.

“His son would be stepping in as the CEO , I guess.” He said , very pointedly  looking at me as he took the used glasses as well. I hesitated, not sure what to say.

“He’s an idol. I don’t think-”

“Not an acting one. Just as the face of the company. ” He shrugged, “ Like me.”

I nodded absently and fumbled with the ring on my finger.

“You do that whenever we talk about Jung Kook.” Seokjin said suddenly and I froze.

“What?”

“You touch our wedding ring… When I mention Jung Kook…Like it’s a handcuff and not just a ring.” The bitterness coating his tone felt like ash on my tongue.

“Jin…”

“It’s alright. I’ll put some of the leftovers in the freezer. You can finish it off for lunch.” He said swiftly, gathering the rest of the crockery and moving out of the dining space. I sat there, confused and guilty. I hadn’t meant to hurt Jin. Hadn’t meant to hurt anyone.

When we settled down to bed, Jin stayed a good foot away from me. I didn’t remember the last time we’d made love. it had definitely been more than a few weeks. It didn’t matter, i thought vaguely, staring up at the ceiling while he breathed evenly next to me. It didn’t matter whether we had sex or not, whether we talked or not, whether we smiled at each other or not.

Because at the end of the day, we  didn’t matter.

There was no Ah Reum and Seokjin. There never had been. Probably never would be. How could it? When I spent most of my time worrying and thinking of Jung Kook.

It was hard not to.

Of all his friends, only Yoongi after several failed attempts had agreed to talk to me. He had been blunt and brutally honest. Jung Kook was pissed, annoyed, and angry. He couldn’t accept that what had happened was for the best. Neither could I. After three years, things that had seemed so important back then were just vaguely distressing now. It struck me that there would have been other ways out for me, from that predicament. My father would have found a way…

But I’d done something irreversible. I’d ruined , not just my life but Seokjin’s too. The guilt weighed heavily on my soul.

“I’m sorry.” I said softly, when the breathing next to me hitched.

“Don’t” His voice was sleep heavy but firm.

“We could… We could divorce. If that’s what you wanted.” I said nervously.

Jin didn’t reply. But I couldn’t let it drop.

“You deserve better…I…”

“And you deserve someone like Jeon Jung Kook? Wild? Rough? Reckless. ” He said sarcastically.

“I don’t know. But I certainly don’t deserve someone perfect like you.” I choked out. He sighed deeply and then turned around to face me.

“Stop it. Stop this nonsense. ” He said firmly.

“I…”

“Jung Kook is getting engaged next month. He’s going to marry the daughter of Kingdom Corp., Her name is Lisa and she’s also an idol.” He said bluntly.

I stopped breathing.

“I didn’t want to tell you this but as one of the partners with Kingdom corp., I’m going to have to be there. And you would too.”

I was going to be sick. I really was.

“I… I need water…” I stumbled out of bed and barely got my bearings before he caught me close. I tried to wriggle out but his grip tightened.

“Listen to me and listen close. Whatever was there between you and Jung kook, I won’t let you destroy yourself over it. He’s not coming back to you. You’re my wife and i don’t want you to fucking ruin your life over him!” He said roughly and I whimpered in protest.

“Let me go …I…”

“You thinks it’s funny? Watching you play martyr is the most horrible thing I’ve ever gone through. Make up your mind, whether you want to be an idiot for the rest of your life?. Whether you want to spend the rest of your life with him in your head and me in your bed .” He snarled and I lost it . Shoving him hard I moved away.’

“Shut up…. Shut up. You don’t know anything about me. Anything. ” I hissed out, the vehemence in my voice surprising even me.

Seokjin scoffed.

“I’d venture I know enough to say that you’re a hypocrite. You act like you don’t care about him…Like you don’t think of him every fucking minute of the day but you’re too much of a scared cat to actually accept it . Why don’t you stop putting both of us through hell and own up to your feelings for once? Accept that it’s fucking over. If you don’t do it, I’m going to have to do it for you. ”

i stared at him, stunned. Seokjin had never yelled at me.  Never.

Finally I sighed.

“Do you think i haven’t tried…I… don’t know what to do… ” i said helplessly. Seokjin stares at me.

“I’m too old for this, Ah Reum. I turn thirty in a couple of years. i can’t… stay in a relationship that … ” He stopped and I felt something very cold grip my heart. Like an iron fist.

“I understand.” I said.

“It’s not that…it’s not that I blame you for the way you feel;. I just…i don’t think it can… Not when you’re thinking of someone else. It’s unfair to everyone involved.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want you to move on.”

“Seokjin…” I said, startled. I could feel my heart start to cave in.

“I think I’ve been patient enough, don’t you think? It’s been three years. I want us to start a family. I want children.”

Jung Kook. I love you. Only you. No one else. It will always be you.

Nausea.

When i just looked at him he shrugged.

“You don’t have to answer, now. But think about it. ” He said softly, finally letting me go. I opened my mouth to say something…what, i didn’t know but Seokjin’s pager went off at the exact same moment.

“i have to get to the hospital…” He moved to the closet but stopped to stare at me.

“Pack some clothes. We’ll leave to Seoul after I inform the hospital.” He said calmly.

“You look good." 

Jung Kook stopped fumbling with the collar of his shirt and sighed.

"Thank you mother.” He said politely. 

“You don’t have to do this. No one’s forcing you to marry Lisa.” Mrs. Jeon said patiently and Jung Kook felt his fingers clench a little.

“I love her." 

"We both know you don’t." 

He gritted his teeth.

"Mother I…”

“It doesn’t work that way… Just because you keep saying that it won’t be true.” His mother said desperately and Jung Kook swallowed. 

“I want to be alone now.” He said blankly. Mrs Jeon hesitated and then sighed deeply.

“Lisa is only eighteen. She isn’t like you. She’s still young and innocent. Don’t break her heart because someone broke yours.” She said gently. 

When Jung Kook didn’t reply, she quietly left. As the door closed behind her, Jung Kook stared into the mirror. He looked very handsome he could tell. Lisa and him would make a beuatiful couple. He was already famous and she was too. They could be so good together. 

And his mother was wrong. 

It was possible to marry someone and then hope to fall in love with them.

Hadn’t Ah Reum done just that?

He swallowed the dryness in his throat. He wanted to move on. To stop feeling this way. It wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough. He would have millions roaring at him, a wild crowd, women screaming, wrapped around his finger, dying for a glance from him but it wasn’t enough. He wanted that feeling of emptiness to go. He wanted to go back in time. To the time when he’d been with her. He’d had nothing then. No name. No fame. No money. But he’d had her by his side. And he’d felt complete.

Happy. 

Something that even being in the most successful kpop group in history , didn’t give him. He wanted that back. He would never forgive her for taking it away from him. From them. His friends had tried to change his mind but he couldn’t agree with them. 

She loved you…

they said, over and over again but he couldn’t believe them. You didn’t leave the people you loved. You stayed by their side, kept them close. When you lost your grip on their bodies, you began to fall. The way he had began falling, that night three years ago, watching her get married to another man. The way he had never stopped falling, ever since. 

She didn’t love him. She had never loved him. If she had, how could she have left him?

She had likely pitied him, he thought miserably. 

Pitied him for being an abused, money-less teenager with no future in sight. 

He gritted his teeth at the sharp stabbing pain in his heart. He didn’t know what to think or feel anymore. He hurt so badly and he had no idea how to make it stop. 

~~~~~~~~~~

When Jung Kook walked into his office at Jeon inc., the last person he expected to see there was Kim Seokjin. 

“You…” He stopped short, too stunned to move or react. His mind and heart and body just shut down completely. 

Seokjin looked worse than him, if that was possible. His shirt was rumpled, his hair messy but he still looked like a walking painting. Like the prince charming in every cliched fairy tale that was ever written. Jung Kook could feel bile rising inside his throat. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” He snapped, moving to sit behind his desk.

“Before you call security , hear me out.” Seokjin said casually and Jung kook remembered suddenly that the man was five years older than him. 

“You have five seconds.” Jung Kook snapped. 

“Ah Reum and I want to wish you congratulations on your engagement. This is difficult for her too, So I’d appreciate it if you … give her some closure. Break things off properly.  ”

Jung Kook thought it was remarkably amazing that he didn’t immediately react.

Trying to keep his voice steady, he managed a little smile. 

“Full points for the delivery , doctor. Why isn’t she here then? If she wants to move on? “

“ I wanted to meet you alone.”

“  Is that a line?  Sorry, I don’t swing that way.  ” He said, deliberately provoking.

Seokjin’s fingers clenched into fists and Jung Kook felt satisfied. 

“I don’t even know what she sees in a jerk like you. But it’s the way it is, i suppose. i just wanted to tell you this. You have the information. What you choose to do with it, is up to you.” Seokjin said calmly, before moving to the door. Jung kook could feel fury bubble inside him like molten lava.

He had known. Kim Seokjin had known that Ah Reum loved and he’d still gone ahead and married her. He wanted to pummel him into the floor. 

“Get the fuck out of my face.” Jung Kook snarled.

Seokjin gave him a smile.

“You can talk to her and at least hear her out , like an adult. Get off your high horse for one minute and consider that there might be something more to her story.” He said softly.

“You’re pushing it, Seokjin. ” Jung Kook snapped, annoyed by how flippantly Seokjin was talking about Ah Reum to someone else.

Did Ah Reum know her husband was here. Jung Kook could guess that she probably didn’t. No girl would want to have her feelings or thoughts shared with others like this. . Did the man not care about how his wife would feel about his actions? The thought made Jung Kook want to kick him. 

But Seokjin wasn’t finished.

“Now that I’ve got that off my chest. Let me tell you what i really think, Jeon Jung kook. I hope you stay the fuck away from her. I hope you go ahead and live in denial for the rest of your life. And I hope she finally gives up on you and comes to me instead. That’s what I hope will happen. And considering the kind of asshole you are, there’s no doubt that , that is  what will happen.  ” He said before turning around and stalking out. 

Jung Kook fumed as the door shut behind him. 

~~~~~~

He’d thought of this moment a million times. The moment when he would finally see her again. But it still knocked the breath out of him.

She couldn’t see him. He was behind the one way mirror of his office and she was here with Seokjin, politely bowing to all the other officers and the interns and the secretaries. She was here out of politeness. Now that his father was no longer in power, the board of directors had agreed to invest in her father’s company. She had come to offer her greetings.

His gaze fell on her hair, long and hitting her waist again and he could feel his throat beginning to close up.

She looked painfully different from how he remembered her. She was thin now. Not just slim but thin. There was no brightness in her gaze, no playful smile , just waiting to get out, tugging at the corner of her lips. He stared at her like in a trance, noting the sloping curve of her shoulders, bare to the world. He felt his jaw clench at the sight. She used to wear shirts, he remembered. Shirts that displayed no skin. She hated having her skin bared but now here she was in an off-shoulder blouse in  candy pink, long long hair perfectly styled.

Her slightly knobby  ankles were fitted into high heeled sandals. He could still remember how they’d felt underneath his fingers when he’s carried her on his back, on the river bank three years ago. He’d teased her about how they were. Like dried prunes, he’d said impishly. 

She had laughed . Not a lady-like mild little giggle but a full on laugh. Did she laugh like that now? Somehow he doubted it. 

They had destroyed her, he thought, fingers beginning to tremble.

The girl he’d fallen in love with wasn’t there anymore. 

No short , soft hair. No pretty laughing eyes. No happy, honest smile. Instead she had been turned into just another trophy wife. 

And then without any warning she turned around and looked right at him.

Jung Kook staggered with the force of her stare. There wasn’t anything substantial in her gaze but it still terrified him. 

It took him a second to realize that she couldn’t see him through the glass. But she was staring right at him and he couldn’t breathe. 

He couldn’t breathe but everything just changed. He didn’t even fucking remember Lisa’s face anymore. This was her. This was the girl for him. The only girl for him.

And he wasn’t going to let her go.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I want her back.” Jung Kook said into the receiver. For a second there was no response.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. ” Seokjin said , voice shaking just a little bit. 

“I don’t fucking kid, Doctor. She’s my girl. She’s always been my girl. I’m just taking back what’s rightfully mine.”

Silence.

“What she is, is a person. She doesn’t fucking belong to anyone: you or me. But right now, she’s also my wife. The next time you refer to her as anything else, I’ll hand you your teeth in a fucking platter..” Seokjin gritted out.

“Look whose grown a fucking spine… “ Jung kook sneered. “ You think she won’t ditch your sorry ass if I called her right now?”

“Try it. You and I both know Ah Reum will never cheat on me. Just face it, Jung Kook. You had your chance and you screwed up. She’s my wife now. No one forced her to do it. She did it all on her free will. ”

Jung Kook took a deep breath.

“I’m coming for her. You better be fucking prepared.” He gripped the glass of scotch on his desk in an iron grip.

Seokjin laughed.

“And she’ll be coming for me. The way she’s done, every single night for the past three years.” He whispered.

The glass shattered, slicing through Jung Kook’s skin , tearing through the white expanse and painting it red. He watched the blood drip down the desk, the pain momentarily clearing his head of the excruciatingly painful image of Seokjin touching Ah Reum…

Of Seokjin actually ….

“You just signed your death warrant.” He gritted out before hanging up.

AUTHOR’S NOTE : My apology for the lack of originality but this is actually a literal kdrama fest so, expect more cliches. Thank you. Let me know what you thought without fail.