A wizarding war roaring over the nation, striking fear in all witches and wizards. Even muggles could feel that something was not right in the world. Though they could never understand just how horrific the reality of it all really was.
A cottage in the English countryside is where a handful of members from the Order took temporary residence, waiting to hear from the ministry. To be specific.. The Marauders, Lily and Y/N.
You sat at a round dinner table, which sat off from the kitchen. Lily sat in front of you, fiery hair messily pulled back into a bun to keep out of reach from the child who sat giggling in her lap. The woman bounced the child on her knee, a smile on her face as she watched how little Harry gripped tightly onto her fingers, squealing in amusement. You couldn’t help but laugh with your silly nephew, eyes occasionally glancing up at the clock that hung behind Lily.
“Do you know when they are suppose to be back?” You ask aloud, sitting up to lean your back into the chair, your focus shifting over to Remus who stood in the kitchen. He was hunched over the counter, a glass mug sat in front of him, You watched as he mixed the cream into his coffee, able to see how the dark beverage turned into a much lighter shade through the glass. “Soon,” Remus mumbled as he raised the mug to his lips, now slouching with his back to the counter.
You nod, fingers tapping against the table, eyes drifting back to the small lad who reached for your hand. As you allowed Harry to play with your fingers, conversation with Lily continued as you all waited anxiously for James and Sirius to return.
Just as Remus predicted, James pushed through the door, cocky grins on his lips. Sirius trailed in behind him, the black dog grinning with his pink tongue hanging out of it’s mouth. James tossed his wand into the air, watching it twirl before catching it. “Oh, you guys should have seen what I did back there to that Death Eater. Absolutely brilliant.” Your brother’s familiar, self-confident voice filled the room. James hopped over to the table, lifting Harry out of Lily’s lap with a large grin. “Hello, little Potter,” he cooed, the child being held against his chest as he made sure to greet his wife as well.
You stood from your seat, head turning to see Sirius leaning against the closed door. A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth as your back turned to face him. You made your way out of the room, slipping into the hallway. Excitement and anxiousness pooled in your chest as you heard quick footsteps trailing behind you.
Before you had a chance to say anything to your ‘stalker’, two hands were placed on your hips, turning you and then carefully shoving you into the wall. Sirius ran his hand up your side, grasping your jaw to tilt your head back. Fingertips pressed against your jaw bone, his grip firm yet gentle. “No hello.. Or ‘Welcome back, baby. I missed you, oh, so much, please whisk me away and take me right now.’?” The man teased, hips pressing against yours to hold you against the wall.
You couldn’t help but laugh, eyes rolling in response as you stared up at him. “Nah, why would I lie to you?” Your joke caused a small pout. Sirius stuck out his bottom lip a little, head shaking.
“I think they meant it,’
Having enough of all the joking around, Sirius’ lips quickly found yours. The kiss quickly grew rough and ravenous, his hand slipping from your jaw to hold the back of your head. As your lips moved with his, you took the chance to try and slide your hands into his hair. Your hands were soon pressed against the wall above your head, pinning you to the wall as his tongue slipped into your mouth.
His fingers intertwined with yours, maintaining a tight grip on your hands. The skin of his hands were rough, and slightly callused. His lips were quite the opposite. You adored how soft his lips felt, loving the feeling of them pressed against yours. You both got so lost in each other, the voices echoing from the other room were drowned, seeming nearly nonexistent.
‘When they said you can’t buy love.’
Sirius and you have been together for five years. At first things were rocky, the two of you not knowing how to deal with your feelings towards each other as well as everything else that was going on. It started off with sneaking around, which sounds as though it would be easy because of him living with the Potters. But, James seemed to be around every corner.
When school came around, you became more anxious about the relationship. You did not believe that Sirius Black could possibly tie himself down to a single person. Not meaning you did not trust the boy, but that you were aware of his lacking of experience with long term relationships. Or how his flirtatious behavior came naturally in conversation. You could still recall the night that you confronted him about your worries.
‘But I know you can rent it,’
Curled up in the boy’s dormitory, the both of you somehow having squished together so that bed could hold the both of you. How you laid against his chest, humming as Sirius ran his fingers through your hair, occasionally poking you to beg for another kiss. You could remember how you couldn’t speak, yet the words bubbled in your throat. It was like in cartoons, where one character would stand on a hose and the water would gather, causing a huge bubble to form. But, eventually, the character would let go. And that is when you basically shouted at him. Obviously, since the two of you were now where you were, things must have worked out somehow.
‘A new lease you are my love.’
Sometimes you thought back to when James had learned about the relationship. The anger that filled him as he yelled at the two of you, both dazed because of the heavy making out the two of you were doing before your brother interrupted. You were glad that James came to peace with the whole thing, seeing just how happy Sirius made you and how in love with you he was.
‘On life, all my life.”
“Oi, why don’t you both join us, yeah?” James called from the other room, his voice breaking through the barrier that separated you and Sirius from the rest of the world.
A low whine escaped from Sirius as he hesitantly pulled away from your now smiling lips. He huffed, head leaning back a little to bark back at his friend. “Give it a minute.” Your hand fell from his grasp, finding it’s way into his hair so you could pull him back to you, lips pressing against his briefly.
“I missed you..” You whispered to him, kissing at his cheek before making your way back to the group. Your boyfriend followed behind you, hand swatting at your behind before he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you back against his chest. “Watch it!” James groaned, shooting a glare at his friend before he turned back to Lily. The two of you looked over your friends. You watched how James held his son in his arms, quietly telling him a story as Lily watched, swooning at the sight of her husband with their son.
“I want one,” Sirius muttered into your ear, nose rubbing against your temple. His comment brought heat to your cheeks as you were at a sudden loss of words. You never would have guessed that he would be thinking about having kids. “Well, why don’t we get through the war before we start thinking about.. All of that.” Before Sirius had a chance to speak, Remus piped up.
“Ready?” Lupin mumbled, adjusting the bag that hung off of his shoulder. You gave a quick nod of your head, prying Sirius’ arms off of your body. “Ready for what?” He questioned, hand taking your wrist to stop you from walking away with Remus.
“Going to the shops. We have to get a few things, I’ll be back before you have a chance to miss me,” you slip away from him, taking your sweater from Remus, pulling it over your body.
“Impossible, but be careful,” Sirius sighed, watching as the two of you disapparated. The man inhaled deeply, reminding himself to stay hopeful. He didn’t like to sit around and worry, but of course the nerves always seemed to linger. He decided to distract himself, turning to Lily and James, putting a large, goofy grin on his lips. “Let me see my Godson.”
“There you go little guy..” Sirius murmured as he laid the sleeping child down in the small crib. He took a moment to watch as Harry slept, hands resting against the rail. The room was dark, the only light coming from the hall outside of the room. The yellowish light peaked through the gap of the door that was left ajar. Sirius casted a shadow over the crib, covering the baby like a dark blanket. The sound of a door being slammed against a wall is what pulled him out of his trance. The weight on his chest lifted when he realized that Remus and you had returned. He took his time leaving the room, wanting to make sure little Harry was completely asleep before leaving him alone.
As Sirius turned down the hall, entering the living space, he had a picture in his mind of what he would see. James sat on the sofa, Lily in his lap as they exchanged whispers about who knows what. Remus probably carrying a couple bags into the kitchen, and Y/N smirking over at Sirius from across the way, before finding her way into his arms once again.
That wasn’t the case. The picture perfect idea was quickly ripped into tiny pieces as Sirius turned the corner.
The first thing his eyes fell on was Remus. The man stood frozen in his place, tears flooding his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. His hands were held out, palms looking towards the ceiling. They were coated in red. He seemed to be mumbling something to himself but it was muffled by the sound of his sobs. Both his and Lily’s eyes found Sirius. Remus took a step in Sirius’ direction, but was ushered into the kitchen by Lily. “I’m sorry.. Sirius, please I am so sorry,” he could hear his friend shout as the woman dragged him away.
It was then when Sirius’ attention shifted to the sofa. All that was visible to him was the back, as well as the sight of James standing in front of it, glasses being pulled off of his face as he rubbed his eyes. For a moment, Sirius glanced around the room frantically, but to his disappointment, there was no sign of the one he loved.
“James?” He muttered, eyes staring down at the back of the sofa, face draining of colour as he put the pieces together. His best friend shook his head, holding back a cry. Sirius quickly approached, your body coming into view.
“I’ve longed to discover,’
You laid across the length of the couch, bloody hands pressed against your stomach. You breathed deeply, eyes being squeezed shut as you tried to ignore the pain that pulsed in your lower abdomen. Blood seeped through the dark shirt you wore, causing a large discoloration. Red stained the apricot cushions. Sirius could not fathom the sight that laid before him. His body grew numb, his heart aching as he fell to his knees, hand pressing against your lower abdomen. The added pressure caused you to wail in pain, eyes opening to a widened state. “Sirius..” You whined, hand wrapping around his wrist, but he didn’t lift the pressure.
‘Something as true as this is.”
“This wasn’t suppose to happen,” Sirius shook his head, staring down at the covered wound. He could not look at you. He could not handle seeing the pain that twisted in your eyes, or the paleness of your skin. The face of someone he loved who was dying in front of him. But, a part of him would not let him believe that you were here. That this was one of those few nightmares he would have that would result in him waking up and you would be there with him. He would be able to pull you against his body and it would remind him that he was safe. That there was nothing to worry about because he had you.
It wasn’t. You were slipping through his fingers and he so desperately tried to tighten his grip. “You’re going to be okay.. It’s all going to be okay,” Sirius lied through his teeth, quickly gasping for air. He was holding his breath. “Everything will be okay in the end.. We will get you healed and you will be here.. You will be here with me, Y/N,” the tone of Sirius’ voice made it sound as though he was not only trying to convince you, but himself as well. His words were cut short as you finally spoke up. “Sirius, look at me,” you begged, hand grabbing his chin to turn his head. His terrified eyes met yours. As your hand fell, Sirius could feel the blood that was now smudged against his jaw.
“If you’re cold and you’re lonely,
“Breath, baby..” You tell him, taking a deep breath to demonstrate. As you tried to get Sirius to copy your breathing, you took his hands in yours, holding them tightly. Your hands were cold, the warmth from Sirius’ rough hands made you smile. “I love you.. Okay? I love you so much.” Sirius shook his head, for once he did not want to hear those words. They felt like venom.
“Don’t, please. This isn’t how this ends.. You know that. We are suppose to get through this, I am suppose to ask you to marry me. We were going to get married once the war is over, we were suppose to have a baby, like Prongs and Lily.. Remember? They would go to school with Harry, and all of us would go wave goodbye.. We are suppose to be together. You and me.. Y/N and Sirius, that’s how it’s suppose to be.” Sirius rambled, quiet weeps rolling over his quivering lip. “I know.. I know.” You nodded along, eyes gaining a watery gaze as you stared up at your boyfriend. Occasionally your eyelids would droop out of exhaustion, you wanted to sleep. “N-No you don’t, because you are here and you are dying.” Sirius spoke as if you could control your body. That you would willingly seal the wound and fix the damage that had been done.
‘You’ve got one nickel only.”
Nothing else was said, nothing else could be said. Actions seemed to speak more than words as Sirius leaned his head down, kissing your lips softly, ignoring the blood that bubbled in your throat. The kiss was soft and slow, almost needy. It reminded you of the first kiss you shared. The vulnerability he showed, how he reeked of exhaustion and sadness. In that moment he needed to feel loved, cared for and protected, and that is exactly what you presented him with. Oh, how the tables have turned.
Eventually, you no longer returned the kiss. Though, that did not stop Sirius. He held on, lips still pressed to yours. Maybe if he just held on it would be like one of those ridiculous movies you had talked him into watching. The ones that Remus showed you, where true love’s kiss woke the dead princess. But, this was reality, and reality was nothing more than a two-faced prick.
“When you’re worn out and tired.’
As Sirius slowly raised his head, he hesitantly opened his eyes. He watched as your chest remained still, no longer moving as you sucked in a breath. Your hands would have slipped from his if he didn’t maintain a firm grip. His head fell against your chest, his now free hand in your messy, dark hair. Unable to contain his emotions any longer, a loud sob came from the broken man.
At first he felt nothing. Sirius believed that he had felt heartbreak, or the worst pain that someone could feel. But now he knew that all that experience didn’t prepare him for what he felt in that moment when he realized that you were gone. He almost felt pathetic for the amount of pain that ruptured within him. Time felt as though it had ended rather than stopped. Everything was quiet.
‘And your heart has expired.”
Footsteps made their way into the room, standing a few feet away from the scene. Lily was pulled into James’ arms as he silently cried into her neck. Sirius almost forgot that she wasn’t just his girlfriend. Y/N was a sister and a friend to those who stood in that room.
“What happened?” Sirius growled, damp eyes flickering up to look at Remus who leaned against the door frame, face pressed against the wood.. It wasn’t right for him to be angry at Lupin, he couldn’t have been the one to cause this death. “I’m sorry..” That was not the response Sirius wanted. “What happened, Remus? Why is she dead?” His words shot at Remus, who winced at the sound of his shouting.
“We were on our way back.. There were three of them, they ambushed us.. Y/N disarmed them and we thought we had gotten down.. But.. When we tried to leave.” He took a minute to swallow a sob. “He came up behind her.. I couldn’t see him.. I only heard her scream and then he was gone.. Sirius I thought he was dead,” Remus stared at Sirius, eyes pleading. He clearly blamed himself for the reason that his friend was hurting, and he wasn’t the only one.
“Well obviously he wasn’t,” snapped Sirius as he looked away from Remus. With that, he stood up off of the ground and quickly left the room, disappearing down the hall, not giving your body a second glance.
Sirius pushed the door open to the bedroom you both had shared over the course of staying in the cottage. The door was closed with a rough bang, his body falling into the large bed, the strings squealed at impact. He pulled the duvet that was messily laid on the bed, over his body as a pillow was pulled against his chest. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut, needing to sleep. The man needed an escape. But when did, all he saw were your eyes.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the queen herself.”
rolls her eyes, glancing over her shoulder although she’s perfectly aware of
who the voice belongs to.
she replies, offering a demure smile. “It’s nice to see you.”
flashes a grin. “It’s always a good day when I get to see my favorite
gladiator,” he says, sauntering up beside the redhead to lean against the
guardrail. “Even when said gladiator is being particularly pensive.”