while my internet was out i had time to do one of these

being a professor’s kid is wild i’ve had classmates (who didn’t know we were related) mention how he’s really smart and accomplished and how they’re kinda scared to talk to him because wow, etc etc, and go ‘whoa so he’s probably really strict then, no wonder you work so hard, you gotta live up to that’ when they do find out their prof is my dad

meanwhile my dad has:

  • argued with one of his grad students until 2 am about which song truly kicked off taylor swift’s career
  • refused to believe ‘doppelganger’ was a word until we showed him a wordgirl episode ft. the word
  • still doesn’t understand that hannah montana and miley cyrus are the same person (we have argued about this multiple times)
  • attempted (and failed) to start memes (*says something* “i now declare this a meme, let the internet know”)
  • “dolphins have bones?”
  • made references to ‘the flash’ while helping me with thermo homework
  • is currently rewatching miraculous ladybug episodes to figure out hawkmoth’s motives (he already figured out his most likely identity)

anyway so don’t be scared of professors, even if they’re super professional and never crack jokes they’re still probably giant dorks on the inside

Be loud and obnoxious while I'm playing with my friends? Enjoy your "glitchy" of Internet!

(warning: long story)

What you need to know:

  • I am the ONLY person in my house who knows how to PROPERLY use a computer
  • I have a little brother who was 12 at the time and is 13 now.
  • My little bother is a console peasant who ONLY plays Destiny with his friends while shouting the WHOLE TIME.
  • My parents forced me to allow my bother to use my Xbox Live account to play with his obnoxious friends because I am the only one who knows to manage the stupid thing.
  • I don’t play with my friends often due to school work and other things going on in my life so when I do get on, I expect him to be respectful
  • My brother is in middle school and I am in High school so I get home considerably earlier than him.
  • Because of reasons my parents forced me to put my computer in the “Office” along with the Xbox 360

Keep reading

Dyeing Lycra

So for my upcoming Cortana Cosplay, I ran into a few problems, the first being the body suit. I needed find a way to make her body pattern while still wearing clothes. But the problem is that most bodysuits bought off the internet tend to bunch and pull in all the wrong places. To get that smooth skin look, the suit needed to fit just perfect. In addition there were no online sources, that had just the right shade of baby/sky grey/blue. Another fun thing is the shape of Cortana’s body; she has a natural woman’s shape. When women wear tight bodysuits, the suits tend to flatten and rounds out the chest, rather than fitting the natural teardrop shape.

So what do you do? Well, let’s start with one problem at a time, as all new projects can seem a bit daunting. The fabric’s color, and what fabric to use. After looking at the properties and what could be dyed, I decided to go with  Lycra, a 80/20 nylon/spandex, blend. It’s a 4-way stretch fabric with two sides, one with a light sheen and one with a more mat appearance. However both sides are mildly reflective, so this worked great for “A.I.”ish appearance. I used the more mat side, and intended to dye the fabric a light grey/blue.

So when deciding how much dye to use, you need to 1- read the dye packet. 2 - weigh the fabric. So I bought 4.5yds of fabric on sale at Hancocks, and weighed it. (I usually use 4 yds when I make onsie’s, but only ended up using like 2 &¾ yards for this bodysuit. I am about 5′9 to, so 4 yards will go pretty far with lycra.) I also used two different Jaquard’s acid dies, gun metal and brilliant blue so that I got the grey blue I wanted. I did a 2/3 blue to grey dye, after I measured how much I needed. (The packets will each dye 2lbs of fabric, so just do the math for how much fabric you have.)

Make sure it is an acid dye, otherwise it will not stick to the nylon. You always should worry about the base material when dying spandex blends. If you have a cotton spandex, then you could use basically any dye, because cotton dyes so easily. The only spandex blend you can not dye is spandex/polyester. For the nylon, keep the water around 120- 140F (49-60C) otherwise you will denature the polymers in the fabric. Anything lower and the dye won’t stay as well.

So when dying fabric, just remember if you are going to dye the fabric lighter, then just use less dye. 

Before dying, make sure you wash the fabric to get all the store goo off. Yuumm store goo.

Next get a large pot, mine is aluminium, (steel is better, but I don’t own one that was big enough to fit my fabric. The pot must be large enough so that the fabric can move around with ease, otherwise it will have little lines in the finished product. (so unless you want tie dyed fabric…..)

So always test the dye with a test, fabric (Usually a plain cotton swatch of fabric is best, since cotton is so easily dyed.) I tested it on my zipper, unfortunately, the fabric’s composition was not the same as the spandex, so they color I ended up with was a lot darker than I thought it was gonna be, even though I measured out how dye I used. (You also want it to a bit darker than you intend because the dye will wash out a little, but in this case it was too dark.) Depending on how rich you want the color, leave it in the water longer. I kept my fabric in there for ~7minutes and got this dark color. Usually the packet says 30minutes, but just eyeball it. 

So here is a little tutorial on how to dye Lycra, or any nylon/spandex blend! It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, and the Jaquard dye stayed really nicely! However because it was so dark(royal blue) I needed to lighten it, so I will be posting soon how to undye Lycra! 

Hi Taylor

So my 24th birthday is coming up in less then a week and I wanted to write something to you for a while and I thought this is a good time to do it so here it goes. I don’t know if you will ever read this but hey it’s always worth the try. Here in the Netherlands people always used to say to me ‘Taylor Swift, never heard of her’ when I told them you were one of my idols. I first heard Love Story on the radio somewhere in 2010 and something about that song made me go I wanna know more about her. So on the internet I went and I listened to your first two albums and I was hooked instantly. You’re only one year older than me (which still amazes me sometimes haha I don’t know why) and your songs represented the phases that I went through in life so well at that time. When I found out that the Speak Now tour was coming to Rotterdam I knew I HAD TO GO. I bought two tickets but nobody wanted to go with me cause yeah I wasn’t really popular in high school and I wasn’t close enough with my college friends yet at that time. The only person I knew who knew about you was my little brother who for sure heard me singing along to your songs in my room. So after promising I would pay for his ticket and do the dishes for a week he went with me. We had the time of our lives (although he probably won’t admit it haha) and it was everything I ever hoped for and more. So that’s when I really really fell in love with you as an artist and as a person. The look you had on your face looked probably a lot like mine. That of being completely in awe.

FAST FORWARD to now because I literally could go on and on about all the stuff that happened in between and the conclusion is that it only made me love you more. I just want to highlight one more thing and that’s the Red Tour in London. I went with my best friend (who I met in college and I turned/corrupted her into a Swiftie) after we realised there wasn’t going to be a Dutch date and yeah I just had to singalong to 22 while I was still 22 because I turned 23 only 16 days later :) We ended up having nosebleed seats because it was such a late decision but that didn’t matter. My friend said she only saw me this happy at a Coldplay concert before (and that really says something hahaha).

This was me almost a year ago and as close as a selfie with you I could get ;)

This is already way to long so I’m getting to the point now. Thank you Taylor. Thank you for being your angel you, making everyone of us so happy with your music and all the love you give us. You are more known here now in the Netherlands and it makes me smile that whenever I’m mentioning you I no longer get a who? face. I’m going to see you again in June at the Amsterdam date and I can’t wait already. I met the person I’m sitting next to on tumblr (the lovely sixthsea who you’re already following) and we didn’t even know that we are sitting next to eachother when we started following eachother so talking about a coincedence!

A follow from you would mean the world to me and my ultimate dream is to meet you. I want to thank you in person for being a friend when nobody else was. I know the chances are probably very small and that there are people out there who probably deserve it way more than I do but I’m not giving up. Not this era. (Plus I want to see the look on my best friends face when she sees me bawling my eyes out cause that never ever happens and she said she can’t imagine it haha!)

I love you taylorswift and I’m sorry if this post is cringy/cliche but you noticing this would be the best birthday present ever :)

Am I Actually EXO’s Pimp Mama???

 So, most of you that don’t have non-internet friends that like kpop LIKE ME im very salty can probably relate to this. I talk and fangirl about EXO all the time in my personal friend group and since they are understanding (sometimes) and find my anxiety of a Korean boy band amusing they’ll tend to learn things or comment about them. One of my friends finds it extremely hilarious when I show her pictures, vines, MVs, ect. about EXO, even though she doesn’t understand it, she still finds a way to make my day with her little comments. One day I was silently screaming while we were out eating because the Love Me Right MV had just dropped and I was literally gone from every conversation and just yelling at my phone because I was so excited/offended/youknowthedrillwhenitcomestoMVs. 

 That same friend I mentioned earlier was like, “You know, they way you talk about them, it’s like they’re your hoes and you’re the pimp mama instead of the pimp daddy, like a reverse pimp squad.” (Literally this comment made my life.)

 I was like, “LOL let’s figure out the roles of my pimp squad.”

 So, I’m showing my friend different gifs and pictures and she’s commenting on them: these are her exact quotes. (Note: She has no idea how true some of her words are lol)

XIUMIN

Friend: Oh man he is daddy AF. His abs should be illegal.

Me: ikr?

Friend: In the squad, you’d probably be his hoe instead of the other way around.

Me: true *lenny face*

Originally posted by sexgodkimjongin

 LUHAN

Friend: Okay, he’s your main bitch because he looks the type to want to wait hand and foot on a lady. Also he’s prettier than you or me.

Me: That’s okay with me really.

Friend: …Wait.

Friend: Is this the one you cry about all the time when you’re on your period.

Originally posted by princekeuriseu

CHANYEOL

Friend: Oh! This is Chanyeol, your actual main hoe!

Me: *genuinely surprised* How’d you know his name?

Friend: Because this is the one you talk about all the time and is your phone background the most out of all of them.

Friend: …btw I know you have an album on your phone of just pics of him. 

Friend: Also, since you talk about him so much I began to ship you with him.

Me:  (◕‿◕✿) …I love you.

Originally posted by imwalkingonthemoon

KAI

Friend: This is the one you thirst for when you’re horny and on your period.

Me: Can’t you see why tho

Friend: I guess he’d be like the hoe you’d use when you need a good f*ck. He does have a superb jawline though.

LAY

Friend: Awwww he’s so sweet, he’s not a hoe at all.

Me: *internally screaming and thinking about Yixing’s abs*

BAEKHYUN

Friend: Okay he’s cute too, but looks like he’d be one of your little bitches.

Me: Nicuuuuu

Friend: I think he’d like being dominated tbh

Me: Not a nicuuuuuuuu *tries not to think dirty thoughts*

SEHUN

Friend: OKAY THEN

Me: You like him don’t you?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Friend: I do but he looks like a total f*uck boy. That’s what he’d be in the pimp squad.

Me: Das true  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

KYUNGSOO

Friend: You enjoy talking about this one too a lot.

Me: But I mean look at him??? Remember I showed that one clip of him singing and you thought he was fabu?

Friend: You’re right he is the package deal. Marry him and make adorable babies. He’s too precious to be in a pimp squad. He’d be like your husband by day and then by night you’re the true pimp mama but he doesn’t know it’s you.

Me:  (◕‿◕✿) I love you even more now.

CHEN

Friend: He’s your nerd hoe.

Me: What made you decide that?

Friend: idek but check out his cheek bones. Those babies could rival Benedict Cumberbatch’s!

TAO

Friend: He’d be your pimp deputy.

Friend: I mean just look at those rings.

Me: That’s gucci with me bish *internally smiling at my own joke*

KRIS

Friend: HELLO THERE. 

Friend: …He’d be your bodyguard so when all the trifflin’ hoes try to snatch up your hoes you can use his prettiness to distract them.

Originally posted by dianary

SUHO

Friend: Hello, hello, hello~

Friend: He’d handle money and would be into kinky ass shit.

Me: HOW DID YOU KNOW????????????? He’s a complete sugardaddy and most people in the fandom thinks he’s daddy AF

Friend: It’s all in the eyes. Just look at this sexy muthafucka. He knows you’re going to get some tonight.

Originally posted by keyismyqueen

And thus concluded establishing my pimp squad. I’m extremely #blessed to have such a hilarious friend. I swear to god she was psychic though??? We also concluded she is biased towards Sehun and Kris, which is no surprise because they are a bunch of sexy muthafuckas. 

Have any of your non-kpop friends ever told you or said anything funny about a group you liked? Tell me if so!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this little thing.

Love, EXO’s Pimp Mama a.k.a. EPM