while i try and sleep

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*


“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or 'dogs’.”

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 

“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”


“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”


“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”


“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”


“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“Permanence is an illusion.”


“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”


“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”


“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

  • My house: *makes a potentially spooky noise while I'm trying to sleep*
  • Me: everything is ok, it's just my sweet gay uncle the babadook, no longer feeling the need to terrorise families thanks to his newfound sense of community. He's doing some late night prep for the baking class he'll be running tomorrow in the local café; it's macarons this week. *Sleeps safely and soundly*

Merthur!au : After a heavy blow to the head, Merlin finally regains consciousness. But it turns out Merlin has forgotten everything about his life at Camelot. Arthur tries his best to help him remember : he tells him how they met, where they stand now, and everything in-between. As it doesn’t work, Arthur suggests Merlin should resume to his usual chores, that maybe the routine will ring a bell. But as time goes by, Merlin still can’t remember anything and Arthur starts to think he’s lost him forever. However, and as always, it is when you expect it the least that the sun comes out….

  • patton: logan, you're so smart! you know so many things! but do you know about updog?
  • logan: no? what is that?
  • patton: what is what?
  • logan: what you just said?
  • patton: oh, you mean updog?
  • logan: yes, that. what is updog?
  • patton: nothing much, what's up with you?
  • logan: what do you mean, what's-
  • logan:
  • logan:
  • patton: :)
  • logan: ...you're dead to me

Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, startled by something. Might be his dreams, might not. He didn’t remember enough of them to tell.

What he remembered of them usually went like this:

He woke up alone. Statics filled the air. The streets buzzed. The punches never came, and he just walked the streets until he was on the ground, in front of an alleyway. The dusty lamppost stood between him and the entrance. The light flickered the way usual household light bulbs did, but slower.

Then he woke up, alone, the newest podcast playing on loop in his ears. The light was always off.

It really wasn’t much to go by.

even more bc it has to run its course 

post menae:

joker: so does garrus still have that pole up his ass?
shepard: not really
joker: good
shepard: yeah.. because he puts it up mine now
joker: well at le– GOD WHY SHEPARD WHYYYYY

Volton Mafia AU

has this been done yet?


Age: 22

·         Has been living with Coran ever since Zarkon killed her dad

·         It’s been five years since The Lions was betrayed by Zarkon

·         She’s been planning her revenge ever since

·         Wants to re-build The Lions and lead them

·         Also, very badass and could totally kill you


Age: ???

·         Admired Alfor very much

·         He used to be very close to him

·         Took Allura as his own

·         Takes care of the supplies and all that

·         Is actually someone you don’t wanna mess with


Age: 24

·         Entered The Lions when he was like 16

·         Used to be the Gunderson’s bodyguard

·         Found a 10 year old Keith and literally adopted him

·         Best friends with Matt and Pidge

·         Was tortured to enter The Galrans

·         Escaped somehow (or rescued?)

·         Woke up in another country and freaked out a little bit


Age: 18

·         Escaped orphanages

·         When Shiro took him in, he became friends with Pidge and Matt

·         Pidge showed him Assasin’s creed (and he fell in love with it)

·         Loves his daggers

·         Asked Hunk to build him a hidden dagger like the ones in assasin’s creed

·         Owns a motorbike because of reasons

·         Has been looking for Shiro and Matt with Pidge


Age: 18

·         Escaped home because his parents were very homophobic

·         Has been living around the streets since he was 14

·         Hated public school until he met Hunk and became best pals

·         Is jumping from job to job

·         Loves shooting and his guns (he names them probably)

·         The sniper of the group

·         Doesn’t fight very well

·         Is actually very protective and sweet but gotta keep his bad boy image


Age: 18

·         Loves building and fixing things

·         Thinks cooking is like fixing or building some food’s tastes

·         Sometimes works with poison

·         Loves his best friend very much

·         Wasn’t very fond of the idea of following Lance into this life style but doesn’t regret it

·         Doesn’t like to go to outside missions and is more of an inside man


Age: 17

·         Looks like 14

·         Doesn’t like to go to outside missions either

·         Insisted Keith to teach them how to use a dagger

·         Loves their computer and drones

·         Always spills coffee or other liquids on their computer so they have to ask Hunk to fix it for them

Other facts:

·         Lance and Hunk’s district was “taken” by The Galrans and they were terrorizing the families

·         Lance learned his loves for guns and sexuality and shooting  in a school trip to a police station (a very handsome cop asked who wanted to try shooting)

·         Pidge and Keith bet on how Shiro got his scar

·         Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Keith met at the public school they went

·         Pidge’s father actually worked with the government

·         Alfor planned to turn The Lions into something good

·         Zarkon didn’t liked that

·         Allura recruited them one day when they all casually met at Coran’s bar

·         Hunk and Lance were there for Lance’s bday

·         Keith and Pidge went to talk to an informant (Allura) to get information on The Lions

·         Allura found Shiro in the streets one day and recognized him

·         Shiro didn’t liked the idea of Keith joining The Lions

·         Allura changed the name The Lions to Voltron probably

·         They don’t actually have money and power as their incentive

·         They’re still illegal though

·         They all just want justice against Zarkon and took justice in their own hands

Not to sound dramatic but becoming a Kpop Fan is one of the BEST decisions I’ve ever made, and I do not reget it at all.

a phan theory

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I cannot sleep. I believe that we sometimes confuse behaviour with personality and that that is the reason why we are oblivious to some things which are actually quite obvious and easy to understand.
Imagine two straight boys/men you know. It doesn’t matter who they are. They can be your friends, classmates, neighbours or even just people you see sometimes.
I want you to think about how they casually hang out as friends.
NOW apply Dan and Phil’s behaviour to them. How they sit very close all the time and how they crack stupid jokes which are not at all funny but still somehow manage to make the other one laugh. Think about them smiling at each other, sharing a flat and fighting over the last bit of cereal. Think of them tiredly waking up in the morning and waiting for each other to wake up, too, so that they can have breakfast together. Imagine them skyping when one of them leaves for only a day and how they prepare meals together.
Now, does it still seem so innocent and ordinary to you?
Because to me, it doesn’t.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: reiji akaba's father walked out on him and his mother when he was only thirteen years old and went to another fucking dimension in order to groom children into becoming soldiers, forcing reiji to grow up into a mini adult in the space of three years under the threat of potential dimensional invasion from his own father. he's a sixteen-year-old wildly out of his depth and desperately pretending he isn't by suppressing any and all human emotion and throwing himself headfirst into the protection of an entire dimension, attempting to sacrifice his own humanity for the greater good which then spills out in overly excited aggression once he finds someone (yuya) that actually sparks his desire to face off against someone one-on-one again, forced to remain completely unaffected at all times in front of others because he's a kid and he knows it and any expression of emotion could be seen as a weakness that could be taken advantage of and even while knowing that he has to use everything, everyone, and even himself in order to secure the safety of his and all dimensions, he still refuses to use reira just like a tool even though that would be easier instead listening to him when he's scared and encouraging the growth of his sense of self rather than simply use him as a mindless solider like his mother wanted and in the end he decides to throw everything he has into trusting yuya because he's at his limit and he's seen what yuya can do and it's finally given him something to believe in desperately which is probably all he's wanted for three years and yet people still try to spin it like he was or should have been the real antagonist all along
Jughead Jones | My little Serpent

Count of words: 2567

Warnings: super long, longer than intended, fluff, maybe kind of spoiler about the season finale but I guess you have all seen it. I SWEAR I DIDN’T INTEND ON WRITE SUCH A LONG IMAGINE BUT I’M PROUD!

A/N: this is seriously as good as it could be. It is currently very late at night and while I was trying to sleep I couldn’t cause someone is having a wedding on the next street and there are fireworks, which I’m scared of so heeey I got a distraction…..I swear this is 100% your average big greek fat wedding going on in that house. IT’S BEEN ALMOST 6 HOURS NOW!!! Sorry I rumble about this… Anyway enjoy my late night creation ♥

PS. Let’s pretend that Fred was either not shot or survived the shot…




@tayrae515 asked:
Ok so don’t hate me but I had another idea! Could you do one where you are once again Archie’s younger sister and you and Jughead are really close friends so when he became a serpent you were around them a lot and became friends of the serpents and because they take care of there own the offer you a jacket to and Archie and Betty and the gang find out and get upset, they feel like they already lost Juggie and don’t want to lose another friend but you join and idk fluff? Jughead x reader. 💕💕💕

Even with all that crazy stuff following you ever since the death of Jason Blossom, you thought that for once you could have a quiet day. And you did, but not for long. You woke up that morning with your brother, Archie, and his best friend ,and roomate, Jughead jumping on top of you. They were laughing while trying to wake you up to have break fast and go to school with them. As soon as you realised what was going on the two dorks started tickling you and the extreme laughter combined with the extreme ab exersise you were getting by it didn’t really let you talk. “Stop! Stop you are killing me,” you yelled. “DAD! SAVE ME!” You called at him after seeing him standing by the door, admiring the joyfull moment before him. “Hey, boys, enough,” he tried stoping him but the didn’t stop. “Well, you know what they say, Y/N. ‘If you can’t stop them, join them’ .“ “NO!” You screamed as your dad joined the two boys tickling you; more like stabbing you, with their fingers. 

“I hate you all,” you said at the two boys sitting in front of you eating breakfast trying to suppress their chuckles. “She’s right, you know,” your father butted in jokingly. “Oh, you don’t talk,” you grumped and went on with your breakfast as the man let out a breathy laugh.

The day seemed to be rather calm. You know, stupid classes, small breaks, lunch with your brother and his friends; in which Jughead would not stop tickling you. You really had no idea why they were like that today but you liked it. As much as you hated to admit you liked it. But, your quiet day came to an end as soon as you walked inside your house with your brother and your close friend short behind you. 

As you stepped a foot inside you spotted a woman around the age of your father talking to him. “Hey, guys. This is Ms. Weiss from Social Services. She’s, uh, she’s Jughead’s case worker.” Your father declared as soon as he saw you three. You all seemed shocked and you were. While the boys walked towards the small kitchen you followed close behind. “Jughead, I know how terrible and emotional the last few days have been for you. Your father’s facing serious jail time. Your mom’s over-extended and out of state. We just want to make sure that you’re taken care of.” The woman admitted and Archie butted in , “Well, he can keep staying with us, right, Dad?” Your father simply sent him a sad smile telling him that he already offered. At that moment you knew what was coming. You took Jughead’s arm in your hands and held it firmly, while you later proceeded on hugging it close you your body and interwine your fingers together. He turned his gaze on you for a second smile at the sight of you like this. No, you were not together, not that it would bother you. But Jughead was the person you truly fitten in with. He was quiet and so were you. You were the two members of the little group of friends that would never talk, and when you were it would mostly be between you two and you would be just making sarcastic remarks. “Great, so what’s the problem?” You asked even though you knew the answer.  “It was a DUI. After your mom left. Look, we can talk about this later but between that and my cash flow problem, it knocks me out.” Your father explained as Jughead gave your hand a reasuring squeeze. “There is a family on the Southside that’s offered to foster you. They’re good people, they’ve worked with us before.” The woman added while looking at him. “That doesn’t sound completely horrible.” Jughead reasoned, saying that mostly for you to hear. “It does mean you’ll be in a different school district, Jughead, and you’ll have to transfer schools.” That’s when you lost it. The only person you were comfortable around in school was going to tranfer to the southside. Great, wasn’t that just great?

After leaving them and dashing into your room you were completely unaware of anything else that was said. All you could do was stay in your room and try to calm down a bit. There was a soft knock on the door and without having anytime time to answer the sudden visitor opened the door. “Are you ok?” A person you recognised as Jughead asked. You slowly rearrenge your posistion so you could look at him. “Do I look ok?” you replied with tear stained eyes. “Oh, little one, come here. I’m not gonna be that far away,” he said hugging you close to his body. “I’ll tell you what. I will be staying at my dad’s house, ok? And you will be coming over as frequently as you would like, ok? We could even have sleepovers!” He cheered trying to explain to you that it was not the end of the world. “Yeah, ok. But you will not be there with me at school. How will I do that?” you asked, probably acting like a baby but you didn’t care. “Well, uhm, I could give you my beanie but we both now I won’t,” he said jokingly and making you smlie, “but I will give you one of my flannels. You can wear it on school and it’ll be as if I’m there, yeah?” He said giving you a peck on the forehead. “Good. Want me to sleep here tonight?” he asked and you simply nodded as he started getting comfortable in the bed and pulling you towards his body, embrassing yoy and allowing the heat to warm your small body up in this cold night. “The door stays open,” your father called passing by, always destroying the moment.

It had already been a couple of days ever since Jughead moved to the southside and you spent most of your time there.You would finish school and then you would instantly run to FP’s trailer to meet Jug and today was not going to be any different. The thing was that before that Jughead would come over so you all would go to the Jubilee together and as much as he hated it he did it for you. He walked inside and was stunned after he saw you. You were standing by the kitchen island with your brother and mother. A stunning off-the-shoulder tight-fitted black dress, falling down to your knees. You looked absolutely stunning and Jughead could not hide it. “Oh, Jug’s here,” your mother called and you saw the boy looking at you all. “Jug!” You called and walked up to hug him. “Hey little one,” he said hugging back and giving you a forehead kiss. “Are they a thing?” Your mother asked Archie silently that replied with a disappointed no. “I think we should head off,” your dad said and grabbed his car keys as you all walked to the truck.

After the boring dance was over… Well, it was not so boring. I mean you had Betty’s speach and your brother sing with his current love intrest, and your mum being annoying and a lot more things, but let’s stick to boring. So, after the boring dance was over you and Jughead were going to walk to his father’s trailer, watch a movie and you would then sleep here. And that’s exactly what happened, with a little twist. You made it to your destination and walked inside. Jughead offered you a shirt of his he knew would be huge on you and a pair of his boxers as shorts, knowing that his sweatpants would be enormous on you. You were after all tiny in front of him, but he found that cute. Not that you knew. After putting that on you found Jughead sitting on the couch turning on the TV to find a good movie, and knowing him it would probably be some great old one or a scary movie since he was always amused when you got scared. But his actions were stopped when there was a knock on the door. He walked outside but you didn’t know what happened until you got out as well to see what took him so long and he was wearing his father’s Serpent jacket. When he saw you he seemed scared of your reaction but you took it surprisingly well. You even said that he looked like a very dark version of Clark Kent with the hair and all, or like a younger and more adorable version of Damon Salvatore. After that you continued doing what was on your original plans.

Your brother and his friends were devastated when they saw Jughead walk inside Pop’s wearing his Serpent jacket. Betty was shocked to say the least, while your brother seemed angry, Veronica didn’t think much of it and neither did Kevin so they just kept on making jokes and comments like the ones you did when he was given the jacket. The downside of this was that you were going to have your brother talk about this for a long long time, but you would indeed avoid it as much as possible. 

It had been about a week since Jughead became in charge of the southside Surpents, since his father was the ‘leader’ before. But he did have help both from you and a man’s that was second-in-command that took his dad’s place until Jughead came to the southside. Due to that and because you and him seemed to become even closer with everything that happened you spent a lot of time together in the southside, either just walking around and talking, or staying at his house, or some times spending a lot of time in the Whyte Wyrm. Everyone was surprised and you constantly had your brother or father trying to keep you from going there with Jug, but you didn’t seemed to care. The thing is the Serpents accept you as their own, they got your back not matter what. Like that time this girl from your school started calling you names and some of them happened to be around they did everything to protect you from her and make sure you didn’t actually believe everything she said. They even had one of their own stick around you just to make sure you were ok but your brother didn’t know. 

One day you all were going to hang out over at Jug’s so you, your brother and the girls were driving there in Archie’s truck. Just as you stepped outside a bunch of Serpents appeared in front of you. Betty got scared, thinking they would attack you or something, since they were told you to stop walking, and she hurried to get Jughead. He walked towards you watching as the second-in-command came over to you and hugged you. “Look,” he began, “we see your friends here are like family to you, you are one of them. But you are family to us and you are one of us. And you know how we take of our own. So we wanted you to know that we will keep on taking care of you, kid. It’s always good when you stick around and, well, we thought you deserve to have this. You deserve to have this cause, as I said you are one of us.” He finished. It was so sweet how much these people cared for you. I mean you grew up with the idea that they are vicious and bad. But they’re not. They are nice people; different people that are under the influence of the stereotypes. You smiled at the man and reached for the jacked but Archie stopped you. “Y/N, no. Don’t you dare. You are not a surpent. You are one of us.” He said. “He’s right, Y/N. You don’t belong with them but with us.” Veronica butted in, agreeing with the stupidity of my brother. “We already lost Jughead to the serpents,little one, we can’t lose you as well,” said Betty adding to the anger that began to boil inside of you. “You are joking right? You don’t mean this stupid things you said.” You mumble. “No, Y/N we’re not,” replied Archie. You looked down for a second contemplaiting what was going on exactly, and then you did what your friends and brother didn’t want you to. You grabbed the jacket from the surpent and wrapped it around your body. After a long time you felt like home. You felt that you truly belonged somewhere. The serpents start cheering on your decision the one that gave you the jacket even hugged you once again. Jughead stared in aw as the two girls with Archie walked inside.

The serpents left and both you and Jughead walked inside meeting a furious Archie, a disappointed Betty and an annoyed Veronica. “What’s wrong with you guys?” You asked trying to understand why they all were like that. “What’s wrong? You ask what’s wrong? Y/N, you are no serpent. You are my sister. They are no good for you.” Archie said pacing up and down the small space. “Arch are you joking? They are amazing people. At least most of them. They treat me like family, they take care of me. They have on of their own to keep an eye on me and make sure I’m safe with all that shit you guys get yourselfs into and drag me into as well.” You fired back at him. “Wow, Y/N, wow.” Betty said looking at you with a very disappointed, almost discussted look. Tears pricked your eyes as this kept going on for a while. “Just don’t come home until you find a way to explain this to dad,” he said in an angry matter. “That’s it. Get out. All of you get out. And don’t come talk to me or her until you stop being irrational.” Jughead yelled, seeing how these words hurt you. You started sobbing in an instand as Archie said that and Jughead pulled you into his arms. Archie tried to apologise but Jug didn’t let him. “I said leave. Now.” He chanted once more since your brother wouldn’t leave. Eventually he did and Jughead picked you up and walked to the couch.

The whole night you spent on that couch. He would say things to calm you down but your tears would not stop. He wouldn’t give up though. He would hold you in his arms stroking your hair and back in attemts to relax you. “It’s ok Y/N. It’s gonna be alright. You can stay here for as long as needed. You know the serpents love you. I love you,” he said. You stopped crying after he said that and you just stared at his face. “Yo-you love me?” You asked surprised. Jug didn’t reply so you took matters in your own hands and you kissed him. You kissed him with so much love you had never shown to anyone. “I love you too,” you uttered before the boy took you in his arms bridal style and run to the bedroom playfully as you laughed. He seemed so happy you said that, so he threw you on the bed and run to the window and opened it. “My little serpent loves me back,” he screamed repeatingly so every one would know.

Just for Now

Just for Now

Fandom: Overwatch

Pairing: Jesse McCree/Tekhartha Zenyatta

Rating: T (swearing)

Word Count: 2,036

Summary: Jesse has a hard time falling asleep. Zenyatta is here to help.

For all intents and purposes, Jesse McCree should have been exhausted.

Should have been exhausted, because in the chaos of the recall, he had spent all day with the other former members clearing out the Watchpoint from its previous life. Jesse had spent his second day in Gibraltar hauling boxes of trash–outdated equipment, leftover debris, broken furniture–out to the loading bay for disposal. He must have made a hundred of those trips through the maze of corridors, trips that his muscles would definitely be reminding him of tomorrow morning.

Keep reading

[The Foxes are standing in the foyer, staring at Kevin’s broken racquet]

Kevin: So. Who snapped my racquet? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Renee: I did. I broke it.

Kevin: No. No, you didn’t. Nicky?

Nicky: Don’t look at me, look at Dan!

Dan: What?! I didn’t break it.

Nicky: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Dan: Because it’s on the table in front of us and it’s broken!

Nicky: Suspicious.

Dan: No, it’s not!

Matt: If it matters, probably not… Andrew was the last one to leave the court yesterday.

Andrew: Liar! I didn’t even go on the court last night!

Matt: Oh really? Then what were you doing?

Andrew: I try and sleep while Kevin and Neil have extra practice. Everyone knows that, Matt!

Renee: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me fix it, Kevin.

Kevin: No. Who broke it?

Aaron: Kevin, Neil’s been awfully quiet…

Neil: Really?!

Aaron: Yeah, really!

[off to the side] Kevin: I broke it. Last night, I failed one of my drills so I snapped it in half. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

do you guys ever think about… the first time Junkrat and Lúcio sleep together in a bed and how much of a nervous wreck Junkrat must’ve been and how awkward they must’ve felt