while i figure out wtf to do with all my blogs

Actually, I have a fairly good idea of exactly WHY tumblr ads suck so hard,

 and why they’re failing so badly at appealing to youth, and they never seem to be paying attention to the HEAPS OF CRITICISM, even when most all the notes on their sponsored posts are specifically telling them, in detail, why they suck. 

(sorry for the long post)

First of all, they are actually listening. 

My dad works in advertising and graphic design, he’s in this industry, and he certainly listens to me every single time I talk about the memes, the culture of the internet and today’s youth and all the hip things like that. He’s gotta. This is his job, his paycheck really depends on whether or not he knows exactly how to appeal to whatever target audience the company wants him to appeal to. He’s got to be hip on all the memes, internet slang, popular music and media, because if he doesn’t, he’s gonna get replaced by a younger guy fresh out of art school. So you bet your ass he’s gonna listen and pay attention and ask questions whenever his 19-year-old daughter’s talking about DWC, the new game that Blizzard just released, or Hillary Clinton’s pathetic attempts to get the youth vote. 

As you can imagine, everyone in marketing is trying their damned hardest to make sure their content appeals. By this point, they know exactly why content doesn’t appeal, because they’ve analyzed why things do and dont appeal from every possible angle. People literally go to school for this. They attend workshops. 

So if that’s the case, then wtf is happening? 

Why do we get shit like this

spammed all over our feeds? 

Well it’s a bunch of factors, and not all of it is the age of the people making this content. 

See, the internet and social media has actually brought a kind of mini-crisis upon the marketing industry. They have to constantly be appealing to kids these days, or they quickly become irrelevant, uncool. Every day, individual advertisers, and the industry as a whole, has to ask themselves what appeals to this generation, what can they offer that would appeal to the kids these days? 

They’ve got a crisis on their hands right now, because, to put it simply, we all hate advertisements. With a burning passion

And they’ve noticed this, they’ve noticed that internet youth as a whole will go to any possible lengths to avoid ads, that we’ll download extensions, avoid websites, even fucking pay money if it means we won’t have to deal with any goddamn ads, and then when we do see ads, we’ll relentlessly mock them on every possible flaw we can find. 

They had a whole decade to notice their audience’s overwhelmingly negative response to anything that’s trying to sell them shit. They are fully aware how annoying their very existence is to us. 

So right now, what they’re trying to do is make ads that don’t look like ads

The first thing they figured they should do, was that instead of doing banner ads and sidebar ads and video interruptions in your youtube and spotify, they should be doing sponsored posts: write up their ads in post form, put them up on a designated corporate account on a popular social media site, then pay the site to seed those posts on everyone’s feed. There you go. It’s an ad, but it doesn’t look like an ad. Maybe the internet people won’t be as annoyed now, because it’s just a post in their feed, it’s not disrupting their experience in any significant way like other ads do. 

Well, they tried that, and it didn’t work. It didn’t really matter that now it was all in accordance with the natural functions of the site, pretty much all of us could see that this, 

is a fucking ad. That’s a goddamn ad that’s being put on our feeds against our will. Nobody followed fucking Microsoft, why in fuck would we do that? there’s nothing but ads on that account, and who the fuck wants ads? 

So now they have to go back to the drawing board, and figure out another way to make these ads appealing, even though they’re ads and everyone hates ads. 

So the marketing guys noticed how a new meme causes everyone to suddenly gain interest in a new piece of media, and how quickly viral content will spread in general. How, say, all those Doritos and Mountain Dew in MLG montages are basically free advertising, or how the slew of viral videos featuring horse head masks caused the sale of those particular horse head masks to skyrocket, etc etc. 

In the memes, they found a possible solution to this near-impossible conundrum that the industry is trapped in.

Basically, the way to make your ads not look like ads, is to make them look like your average viral content. You have to turn your brand into a meme in order to appeal. 

It was actually probably Denny’s that figured out the formula first, and they’re probably still one of the most successful examples. 

Think about it. Did Denny’s even HAVE to sponsor their posts? Or did we just all willingly reblog them because they were so fuckin weird, and we couldn’t believe a corporation was doing this shit? 

But now here’s the problem, and this is why the ads are failing to appeal, even more than obvious reasons like “they’re all putting existing and outdated memes in their ads, and its really uncreative and out of touch”: 

The problem is there’s no direct interaction with the audience. 

You know how the Denny’s blog answers asks? That’s exactly the sort of thing that’s lacking from all these corporate blogs, that’s why they’re still really obvious adspewers, and thus, why they’re so damn annoying (other than all the piggybacking on outdated memes, ofc). 

Other than Denny’s, I’ve only seen two isolated situations where a corporate blog actually responded to feedback of any kind: 

  1. That one time that a visual novel app actually announced two lesbian love interests in response to someone demanding gay content.
  2. That one time Episode got self-aware and mentioned Tumblr in an ad

The first response garnered actual respect for the app, while Episode’s ad caused everyone to burst into mock panic (which was par for the course, given how their strategy seems to be “become infamous for our wild ads, and maybe someone will be curious to try out our app”). 

Given how most of us will accept ads in the form of “signal boosts” from fellow tumblr users, it’s basically a given that, as a whole, we respond much better once we’re assured there’s an actual genuine person behind the ad, who is sincerely trying to reach out to us. 

So you know, why the fuck do all these marketing blogs, Episode, Battlecamp, Funyuns, Game of War, etc. 

why do they

never

actually

talk to us? 

It’s simple:  

they can’t actually talk to us. 

Corporations have rules, regulations. These advertisers running the marketing accounts aren’t CEOs, they’re not even managers, they’re most likely low-level workers in the midst of the marketing branch of the company, a branch that, for the most part, has to follow the rules of the company, and are under extreme pressure (from company lawyers and the PR department) not to do anything out-of-line. 

Actually responding to asks or reblogs are a huge risk, and the people who command the guys who run these blogs have a bajillion reasons why they don’t want some bloody grunt to go saying whatever the hell they want on the official corporation’s tumblr blog.They could say something off-color and cause a scandal, or they could ruin the company’s professional reputation just by acting like a human being. When they log into that blog, the low-level grunt is supposed to be representing the entire corporation, a body made up of hundreds or thousands of people. You’d better damn well make sure they’re saying the right thing.

Running the official Denny’s blog probably takes a very organized and deliberate effort, along with a hella lot of risk, all to make those weird posts, reply to asks, even to figure out the perfect blend of surrealism and mundanity, while at the same time ensuring their product actually looks appealing. it probably takes a whole team to run that blog, if we’ll be honest. There’s probably 10 mods, who all have to be in close contact with not only each other, but with the boss. The boss has to trust them to not fuck up. It probably took a lot of careful planning and communication in order to figure out a stable system for all that. 

Episode couldn’t make a response to tumblr that wasn’t formatted like one of their usual ads, and they only made their (pseudo) response after a string of increasingly weirder ads convinced them that such a daring move like mentioning tumblr wouldn’t be a total disaster (well, more like convinced them that “total disaster” is something that should actually be their marketing ploy from now on).

Kisses and Curses (the aforementioned paranormal romance app) obviously was planning the female love interests already, and saw in that single comment a good opportunity to officially announce them. They also are most likely a smaller company, probably a single team that’s doing double duty on both content creation and marketing, giving them much less red tape if they wanted to answer a question like “but do the lesbians die,” or model future content after the desires of their target audience. They have a lot more freedom to be human, is what I’m trying to say. 

And while it’s fully possible that something can reach viral status and be beloved as a brand without having to respond directly to their audience, it’s pretty impossible to intentionally pull that sort of thing off, especially when you’re advertising a product or service. That kind of viral fame depends on being unexpected and unexplained, an enigma, really, and as a result, any strategy you find that actually works will only ever work the first time. The second person who tries the same thing will be labeled an obvious copycat.

TL;DR: the field of advertising is struggling to figure out how to adapt to an audience that hates the very existence of ads, and their only strategy is to make their ads less and less ad-like, and make their marketing accounts more like actual users and content creators. 

However, due to the structure and size of the companies themselves, they can’t actually do that. Fully committing to their emulation of content creators would mean they’d have to let the employees who run these blogs freely respond to their audience, and actively communicate with them. That’s a risk that no company is fully willing to take, and thus, all these advertisers are forced to make shitty content bandwagoning off the latest trends, and cross their fingers that someone finds the mess appealing on an ironic level. 

Everyone’s pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the only way out of the shitty ads is to literally redefine the whole concept of marketing, because we just flat-out hate all ads nowadays, no matter what they are or how they come to us.  

Family

Part eleven of the Good Little Angel series!

Good Little Angel

Good Little Angel part two

Good Little Angel part three

Good Little Angel part four

Good Little Angel part five

Good Little Angel part six

Good Little Angel part seven

Good Little Angel part eight

Good Little Angel part nine

Good Little Angel part ten

Word count: 1,071

Warning: angst

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader

Summary/Request: Part eleven of the Good Little Angel series!

A plan begins to hatch between Cas and Y/N but Lucifer misinterprets how close they are.

A/N: Sorry it’s a bit short but I’M BACK! Yes indeed I am finally back from my holidays and feeling rejuvenated. Hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by magnificent-winged-beast

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Before It’s Too Late (part 6)

Summary: Bucky starts dating a girl from his History of Art class. The only problem: you’re in love with him. College AU.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: I haven’t seen my best friend in like a month  (bc she goes to school and I do online school) and on the weekends she’s always doing something and I can’t see her this weekend because she’s packing and I can’t see her next weekend because I’m going up north and it’s just so ugh.

“He what!?” Wanda, Peggy and Natasha screech over the phone. You wince and pull the phone away for a split second.

“Could you guys scream any louder?” you huff.

“Y/N Bucky fucking kissed you!” Natasha responds, the others humming in agreement.

“He almost kissed me. Almost.” you correct your friend.

“It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you two could have kissed.” Wanda says. “So why didn’t it happen.”

“He has a girlfriend, Wanda. I can’t just go around kissing the guy! That’s fucked up.”

“Y/N, how long have you been in love with the guy?” Peggy asks.

“Since I was sixteen.”

“And how long has Kirsten been in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “It’s Kristen and I have no idea.”

“Let me rephrase; how long have Bucky and Kristen been together?”

“Three months.”

“Exactly. You’ve known him longer. It’s like your god-given right to be with him.” she tells you and again you roll your eyes.

“You guys… I can’t. He’s happy, okay? I just want him to be happy.” you frown.

Natasha sighed. “You need to stop hurting yourself like this, Y/N. Seeing him with her, hearing him talk about her, I know it hurts you.”

You bite your lip and look out the window.

“You need to tell him how you feel. Before it’s too late.”

You breathe in. “It’s already too l-“

“No it’s not. Stop saying that.”

You open your mouth to respond but footsteps from the stairs catch your attention and you turn around seeing Bucky making his way down.

“I gotta go, Bucky’s coming and I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday.” you quickly whisper.

“Alright and tell Bucky how you feel!” Natasha exclaimed.

“Maybe. Bye.”

“No, not ‘maybe’ you better-“ and you hung up.

You slip your phone into your pocket before walking over to the fridge and pulling out the apple juice. Just as you were reaching for a cup, Bucky walked into the kitchen. He was shocked to see you mostly because he had thought you went out shopping or went to meet up with Wanda, Nat and Peggy.

“Oh, hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.” he says.

“Well this is my parents house.” you respond, not looking at him as you turn around and place your cup on the counter.

Bucky scratches the back of his neck. “Right.” he watches you pour the apple juice into the cup before taking a step forward. “Hey… can we talk about yesterday?”

You froze with your hand on the fridge. Squeezing your eyes shut, you take a deep breath. You were hoping the two of you could just forget about what had happened. You really didn’t want to talk about it.

“What about yesterday?” you ask, putting away the apple juice and turning around.

“When um… when I almost… kissed you.” he held his breath, waiting for you to respond.

“Oh!” you exclaim. “Oh that. Right.” you chuckle and Bucky had never been more confused. “Don’t worry, I didn’t take it seriously or anything. You were just messing with me like how you always do.” you lift your cup to your lips. “Right?”

It takes Bucky a few seconds and he felt something inside him but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He smiled. “Right.”

But it wasn’t a genuine smile.


The first week had gone by in a flash and it was now the 23rd of December which meant last minute gift wrapping.

“What do you mean there’s no wrapping paper!?” Bucky screeched as he tugged at his hair.

“I mean there’s none!” you pace the room. “I thought my mom had some, I swear. I guess she used it up wrapping presents this year.”

Bucky sighed. “Do you know what this means?”

“We have to fight our way through last minute Christmas shoppers.”

“Just like last year.”

Last year for Christmas Bucky called you up and asked you to go to the store with him to get some things real quick. Of course, you said yes.

You groan. “But last time we did last minute shopping there was one last roll of wrapping paper and some lady nearly killed me for it. I don’t wanna die, I’m only twenty-one.”

Both yours and Bucky eyes widen and you turn to look at each other.

“I’ll get the keys.”

“I’ll get our wallets.”


You make it to the store and let out a groan when you see people rushing around for last minute items.

“God this is worse than black Friday.” you murmur. “Speaking of black Friday, do you remember the time when-“

“No time for reminiscing!” Bucky cut you off, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the back of the store where all the Christmas things were.

“We need the stickers with the names on it and some bows and tape!” you say as Bucky picks up three rolls of wrapping paper.

“Doesn’t your mom have all that?” he questioned but when he saw the look on your face and he looked at the wrapping paper in his hands, he nodded. “Yeah… Let’s go get that stuff.”

The two of you got the bows and tape, now all you needed was the name tags. You and Bucky searched the shelves until you spot one last booklet of name tags at the bottom of the box.

“Bucky I found it!” you exclaim and with a smile, you reach for it but as soon as your fingers grasp it, another hand grabs it as well.

You look up, seeing a lady who was already giving you a death glare.

“This is mine.” she says.

“Technically it’s mine because I grabbed it first.”

She huffs and tugs at it. “Let go, it’s mine!”

You exhale and gulp. This is it. She’s gonna kill you. And for what? A book filled with-

“Hello, ma’am?” Bucky appeared next to you. “I was just talking to my co-worker over there,” he pointed over to one of the stores employees, “and he said we have a brand new box full of name tags so if you could just-“

The lady didn’t give him time to finish his sentence before booking it to the employee. You look over at Bucky and smile.

“Thanks. I was already saying my goodbyes to everyone.” you say and he laughs.

“Let’s go.” he grabs your hand. “I lied to her. They don’t have box of name tags.”

“You talked to him?” you nod over to the employee who was talking to the woman.

“Yeah. He said they wouldn’t be getting a new shipment of name tags until tomorrow morning so we better get going.”

You look over at the lady and the employee only to see her looking back at you with a scowl.

“Yeah, let’s go. I think she figured that out.”

After paying the two of you head home and up to your room.

“Alright, I’ll set everything up and you bring the gifts over.” Bucky says. You nod and gather the gifts - that were still in the bags – and bring them over to where Bucky was seated on the floor.

While he sorted everything out, opening the tape pack and bows you separated yours and Bucky’s gifts as to not mix them up.

When you were done you sat next to him.

“Alright, let’s get wrappin’.”


A/N: so while I was writing this my arm was burning and I was like wtf so Ilook at it and there’s scratch marks on it and I’m like wtf? I haven’t been scratched? So I ignore it and continue to write and then a couple of minutes later my arm starts burning again but towards the left more and I look and I have scratch marks there too. The scratch marks moved to the left, even crossing through my scar I got when I was l like 6. It was really weird. Now they’re gone but I dunno. It was pretty freaky. Anyways, I hope ya liked this part, tell me what ya think!

Tags:

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A Little Push

Characters: Pietro x Reader

Summary: No matter how quick Pietro Maximoff is even he can’t outrun his feelings.

Word Count: 1505 words

Prompt: This gif.

A/N: This is for my 800 followers celebration as requested by the lovely @flirtswithdanger who sent me this lovely gif and reminded me how much I love this Maximoff.

Pietro Maximoff was smitten.  Had been since the moment you had walked into the training room with Nat, laughing at something Tony had said earlier when he had tried being smooth. Pietro had been lifting weights and all of a sudden his grip slipped and the sound of heavy weights hitting the floor had your eyes on him and he was all too aware that this was NOT the first impression he wanted to make.  “Smooth quick shot.” Clint called over from the bench where he was sitting watching the entire scene with a smirk.

“Yeah, well… shut up old man.” Maximoff huffed at him, avoiding looking at you for fear that it would be like looking directly at the sun and the little jolt he had felt in his chest upon seeing you would turn into a full blown heart attack.  

“Nice come back.” Clint grinned causing the boy to storm out of the room.  Great, not only would you think he was clumsy but also simple.  He rushed out so fast he didn’t see your curious look which was probably a good thing.

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anonymous asked:

Blog recs?

i havent done this in a while and i could use some positivity so heres the exact opposite of a shit list (in no order or like,,, most recent to least recent follow bc im just getting these from my following list so i dont forget anyone lol)

  • @nikiiforovs i only followed and started talking to her recently but shes super nice and really talented at making graphics??? google how do i be like liz enter
  • @mysanitynotfound is The Kindest!!! what a darling!!!!! she let me rant about one of my favorite characters in a show she doesnt even watch like when will ur fav ever??
  • the mods of @askoppositeotayuri are super sweet and the art is ADORABLE
  • @voltron-and-chill67 DESERVES THE WORLD AND HER MAKEUP?? ON POINT. WHAT A TREASURE
  • @dicktor-thicciforov has the best url ever??? i havent talked to them much yet but theyre still cool aND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT LIFE IS STRANGE WITH THEM :(((
  • @yourplisetsky / @otabottom sub beka is the best ALSO THEYRE SUPER NICE AND I WANT TO TALK TO THEM BUT KJHFKJHF
  • @meimagino a loser
    no im kidding shes extremely kind and has the best responses to everything ever also a fantastic writer and she lets me call her ‘mei’ 
  • @yuratchka-speaks super sweet!! has the best headcanons and her voice for yuri makes me weak at the knees
  • @kanekkis an aMAZING writer idk how she manages to churn out fics so quickly also REALLY FUN TO TALK TO ILY ELLE
  • @justanxietythings im too shy to talk to them much but their fics??? i cant deal??? FUCk?? also my co-captain in the “mila and yuri are platonic soulmates” boat
  • @katsu-nikii adorable art and seems really nice but im shy!! also a fellow filipino so i really want to talk to them and maybe like eat at jollibee with them 
  • @aphhun too talented for words i cant dEAL with her!! also endlessly kind?? wtf?? sami leave some for the rest of us
  • @daddybek KIM UR AMAZING literally the kindest and sweetest person on this earth also rly pretty HOW DO I DEAL!!!
  • @novocaine-sea fellow “oh my god sometimes the yoi fandom is just Too Problematic” person love u aja
  • @viktuuri-pork my bes!!! somehow amazing at music and art at the same time like leave some talent for the rest of us >:(( ALSO I’LL MEET HER IRL SOMEDAY THIS I VOW
  • @dandybek the dandiest… but also the sweetest!! and the strongest!!! what a blessing 
  • @otabaeplisetsky best older sis figure!!! also the kindest and the prettiest how do i deal
  • @kawaiilo-ren intimidates the fuck out of me but theyre really sweet?? and talented??? notice me senpai
  • @draco-rys intimidating at first tbh but really talented?? and kind!! and les mis trash which i appreciate
  • @tecochet NADIA!! SO PURE SO KIND BYE!! and has the softest art ever did u know ur art is still my ipad homescreen heheh
  • @sarah-yyy every time she notices me my heart stops tbh they have THE BEST fics ever??? also if ur into les mis specifically e/r ur in luck
  • @otayuriism the chillest of them all, that cool kid next door u kinda want to talk to but at the same time ur hella intimidated by id like to marry her someday
  • @boxwineconfession the man. the myth. the legend. the creator of fawl. drunk 25/8
  • @fuku-shuu my go to source for the Hip New Happenings and amazing art in the fandom, also very kind and approachable!!
  • @nikiforohv i wouldnt be surprised if shes starting to get creeped out by my admiration for her but. here i am. doin it again
  • @seeyounextlevel MOTHER!!! super talented and pretty and the queen of snapchat *viktor voice* wow amazing
  • @nooowestayandgetcaught salt friend!! riverdale friend!!! i dont talk to them much but when i do its always a great time :’)
  • @felicitatem meta on point?? beautiful?? cute art?? incredibly kind?? when will ur fave!!!
  • @otayuri-queen i miss u wifey!!! but has super cute art and is incredibly kind, but we all know she a bitch inside :^) im kidding ily
  • @kingotabek honestly idk much about them just that every time i see a fic from them i die

plus a lot more but this is long enough as it is so COUGHJSDK

anonymous asked:

Idk if you write headcanons but, can you do an ace!Jason and bi!Percy headcanon list thing? (i also requested some from i'mnotstraightorcis, etc. etc. , lmao. thank you in advanceeeee

@dontcallmestraightorcis is a great blog for anyone whos into content similar to mine - aka That Gay Shit tm B3c lil promo there

and ace jason and bi percy are my lifeblood tbh yes please

-

• jason (gr)ace figures out pretty early on that he’s not into people That Way - you dont grow up raised by wolves and then as a soldier beside other soldiers and not hear about The Do and how fun it is. he doesnt understand it though - if anything, it sounds gross and unnecessary. why waste time with something like that when you can be doing something else? the idea that he cant Provide that for someone stops him from dating in the barracks even before becoming praetor, however, even though dakota flirts constantly (which mostly just makes him laugh)

• percy doesnt get that hes bi until hes around 13-14 and hes talking to someone who Isnt like “yeah those guys are super good looking” “haha wow gay” “nah im straight” “those are not straight thoughts percy jackson” “…oh. guess im not then” and he doesnt beat himself up over it too much. its another thing that fugliano would have hated about him and the idea feels like rebellion, like blue food. it makes him grin

• when they meet, they’re ridiculous. percy is all peacock, being aggressive and showing off and trying to be The Coolest. he doesnt get that he has a crush. jason responds back to percy the same way, and KNOWS that he has a crush on percy. hes never liked someone that much before and really doesnt want to. hes afraid of not being Enough, of “leading percy on”, so to speak. he hasnt accepted that there are people out there that wont expect that of him - that would be happy with him as he is and would find no shortcomings in that which he could give. luckily percy doesnt seem to like him much, so that suits jason just fine (even if he is maybe secretly pining a little)

• percy is hanging out with piper and they get talking about jason. jason is on percy’s mind 24/7, the way luke was, the way annabeth was for a while, and he Knows but he hasnt put 2 and 2 together yet. piper, luckily, does. “percy, you like him. you like him and thats super gay and i approve.” “[gasps] piper, you useless lesbian, i cant believe this” “youre the useless lesbian. now go find jason and tell him the OTHER L word”

• so percy goes to find jason and apologize for his behavior because pigtail pulling is not an appropriate way of displaying a crush. jason goes stock still and is like “…a crush?”

percy goes on to say its okay if he doesnt like him back and that he’d get over it eventually and no sweat, i just came to say im worry, it wont happen again and jason hushes him pretty quickly. “its fine, percy… i mean. i kind of like you too just… i dont know. things are different.” he struggles to express how he feels. “but i dont want to lead you on.”

percy thinks hes saying “i dont ACTUALLY like you” and nods, a little hurt. ‘i like you but i dont wanna lead you on’ then what was that, he thinks bitterly. but he thinks he understands. “its okay, dude. dont worry about it.” jason shakes his head and says “but i DO worry about it. i want to be able to go all the way.”

percy blinks. “wait, what?”

“i just,” jason struggles again, bringing his hands into the air and looking exasperated. “i just.. i dont know. i want to go out with people and kiss or hug or whatever but then theres what comes next and i just cant do that. i dont think ill ever want that.”

theres a beat of silence, jason looking at the ground while.

“then we wont go that far.” jason looks up and when they meet eyes, percy shrugs easily. “youre a really cool, strong guy. youre nice, too, and you care about people. i wanna get to know you better, maybe not be at your throat all the time trying to 1 up you to get you to like me.” that makes jason laugh. “im okay with just taking you out. i dont think i need to ‘score’” he uses air quotes here, pulls a face at the word. “to score with you, if you know what i mean”

jason is smiling and blushing and maybe his throats a little tight and his eyes sting because a cute guy totally just used an awful line on him and doesnt mind that it wont get him into jasons pants. “then… okay.”

“okay?”

“okay, ill go out with you.”

and if percy raises his fists in the air and yells “WOOHOO!!!” then let it be known that jason didnt stop laughing for a long while after that

-

…wow im gay wtf - mod will

Six Feet Under

(if you didn’t know six feet under by billie eilish is such a good song and that’s what I played on repeat while writing this)

ask : can you write about the reader getting kidnapped/tortured as their way of Percy getting to go to them and fight for them?

hi yes i’m here for all the mo'fuckin angst ever and am i good at writing it?

probably not

am I still gonna write it?

fuck yeah i am

to sum it up, if it’s shitty i’m so fucking sorry i’m really tryna get my shit together on this blog tbfh. anywho back to ur regularly scheduled programming by yours truly, nez !

warning : blood & torture scenes & swearing, fun for the whole family !!! (obviously wtf) (also might be triggering but that’s maybe idk how you guys are as people my dude)

Stringy strands of hair fell in front of eyes that were nearly swollen shut. Chest rising and falling quickly, you heard quick, rapid footsteps come from the hallway, but you didn’t know from where. Scooting back to the corner of the room, your pupils grew wide, trying to see in the pitch black room you were kept in.

A cry came from deep within your chest, turning raspy as it escaped your dry, cracked lips. The door swung open, letting in a bright, harsh light that made you shield your eyes. The door slammed against the wall, and you watched the figure come up to you. “Stop-” You croaked, a harsh cough following shortly.

Sending a thin spray of crimson blood onto the gray, cement floor in front of you, you covered your mouth. “Get up.” The man spat, grasping your arm and tugging you up. Stumbling slightly, he steadied you, before grasping your hands, and tying them up behind you.

“Why are you doing this to me?” You asked, managing to keep down a cough. He dug his short nails into your pale arm, tugging you forward viciously

. “This isn’t for you. We need you here, to get your boyfriend here.” Shoving you through some doors, you fell forward, falling face first. Cursing, you spat out blood at the feet of your attacker.

“How-” Your attacker paused, a wiry smile on his translucent face. Grasping a chunk of your hair in his hands, he tugged your head back viciously, smiling down at your face which twisted in discomfort. “Disgusting.” He finished.

You smiled, teeth stained red with blood. “Only the best for you.” You remarked, and he laughed, pushing his blonde locks out of his face.

“We haven’t beat the sarcasm out of you yet-” His black boot collided with your ribs, and you let out a strangled gasp, falling back. Your side throbbed, ragged breaths making your chest rise and fall shallowly. “Have we?” He asked.

“Fuck you.” You coughed up more blood, shutting your eyes and curling up on the cold, white tiles in the room. Only one thing was on your mind.

Percy.

“Wishing your boyfriend would come save you? So do I, sweetheart. He’ll be much more useful.” Opening your glassy, (e/c) eyes, you let out a forced laugh

. You turned on your back, staring at the high ceiling, painted a royal blue. “You think he’s coming for me? We’re not together. He doesn’t love me.” You lied, hoping to save some time for Percy.

If they did this to you, and didn’t need you, what would they do to Percy?

“You’re a fucking liar-” A boot collided with your face, and you hissed in pain, turning over. Blood spilled from your nose, and your head swam, as you desperately tried keeping your eyes open. Hunger ached in your stomach, thoughts screamed in your mind, and bruises and injuries burned beneath your scarred, cut skin.

“Fuck-” You whimpered, sitting up, your head hanging. You tugged your hands forward, your wrists raw from the ropes. He grasped the rope, and pulled you up, holding your hands above your head.

“This is what we’re going to do, princess. Until you tell me where the sea bastard is, I’m going to beat the shit out of you. Got it?” He tied your hands up onto a hook, so you stood with your hands over your head. Head throbbing, you let it fall, staring at your blistered, scarred feet.

“You’re smoking a pack of dicks if you think I’m going to tell you where he is.” Your eyes scanned the table of knives, metal bats, and all sorts of weapons you didn’t know existed.

“Put your head up-” Cold metal pressed against your side, and you screamed, as electricity flowed through you. Head up, you glared at the blonde in front of you. “Pay attention. Where is Percy Jackson?” He asked, his fingers trailing across the table of weapons.

“I don’t know..” You muttered, hoping Percy was as far away from this place as possible. He grasped the metal bat, and swung, cracking at least one of your ribs. You choked on your shock, and he grasped your hair again, forcing you to face him. You looked into cold, dead deep brown eyes.

“Speak up.” He growled, pushing your head away. Wanting to curl up in pain, you tugged down on the ropes viciously.

“I don’t know.” You spat, closing your eyes and hissing at the pain. If someone didn’t help, you knew you were going to die there. Blinking away tears, you watched as he went to swing again.

Your body jerked on impact, the hook above you tilting slightly, as the bat collided with your stomach, black and blue spreading quickly underneath your ripped and tattered clothes. Hot, crimson blood escaped your lips, and your head hung.

“Percy-” You croaked, your vision becoming blurry. Laughing, the blonde pulled your head up again, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“You’re weak. Calling out for someone you claimed didn’t love you anymore.” He smiled at you, perfect teeth glimmering in he dimly lit torture room. A sharp pain spread against your side, and you gasped, as you looked down.

A knife handle stuck out of your side, as blood pooled around it. “Too bad there won’t be much of you to take back home-” He tugged the knife out, and you watched the blood spill from your wound.

A strangled gasp came from behind you two, and you jerked your head up, watching Riptide being shoved through the man who brought you to the room.

Percy.

He walked in, a blood thirsty look in his eyes. He froze, and the blonde man smiled, holding the knife directly over your stomach. “Perseus Jackson, how lovely it is to have you here with us today.” He smiled. Percy tensed, his sea green eyes darkening, his knuckles growing white from gripping his sword tightly.

“Let her go.” Percy growled, and your eyes widened. Blood spilled from your nose and side, and you felt yourself dying slowly.

“Percy no-” You gasped and screamed, as the man drove the knife into your stomach six times, letting the wounds spill, white tiles now stained red.

“Y/N!” Percy shouted, and your eyelids felt heavy, but you knew if they closed, you were gone for good.

“I’m so sorry-” You croaked, blood spilling from your lips once more.

“Now that she’s a goner, I can have you.” The man smiled, and Percy looked from you, to the man. Percy charged, taking the guy off guard, as he was used to torturing to get what he wanted. Riptide was sent through the mans chest, and out through his back, and Percy let the man explode into gold dust, Riptide clattering to the floor as he rushed after you.

“Y/N, Y/N. Stay with me, oh gods-” Percy untied your hands, and you slumped into his arms, your eyes threatening to close and take your life away. You looked into sea green eyes, filled with so much worry and fear. Heart slamming against your slightly shattered ribcage, you took a jagged breath.

Percy picked you up bridal style, reaching down and picking up Riptide on his way out. His hand found its way to your stringy, (h/c) hair, and Percy looked down at you, heart aching. Clutching his Camp Half Blood t-shirt in your fists, you sank into the warmth of your boyfriend, what might be the last time you get to feel him.

“SOLACE!!” Percy shouted as he kicked the doors to outside open. You gasped in the fresh air, watching the moonlight for the first time in three weeks. Your stomach ached, and Percy laid you down on the ground. Familiar blonde hair came into your view.

“Holy shit.” You heard, and you chuckled.

“Am I in great condition, Doc?” You laughed, before coughing up more blood. Percy clutched his hand in your own.

“Y/N, how do you manage to always tell a joke?” Nico asked, eyes flicking away from your beat up body. You shrugged, your eyelids feeling heavy again. Will pressed his hands to your stomach, sunlight pouring through his fingers as he desperately tried to heal you.

But, you felt your life slipping away, slowly, surely. A sharp breath escaped your lips, and you squeezed Percy’s hand.

“I love you, and I’m sorry.” You croaked, looking up into those beautiful, sea green eyes you fell for long ago. Percy’s eyes widened in fear, as he looked from you, to Nico, who had a blank stare on his face.

“No. No, Y/N- Solace-” Percy frantically looked at Will, who was looking painfully at your wound, trying to work quickly.

“I’m trying!” Will cried, but it was no use.

“Thank you guys.” You smiled, teeth stained red with blood, and Percy watched you, in horror, as you closed you eyes.

“Y/N.” Percy spoke, as your hand went limp in his own. Both Percy and Will looked up at Nico, in shock, horror, and worry. Percy’s heart rammed against his ribcage, praying silently to all the gods that Nico didn’t tell him you passed away.

Nico refused to face them.

(oh ma fuckin god she fukin dead)

- nez

In which I live-blog Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Okay. Here we go.

Can I get more Heather and Valencia this episode? Please?

Oh, Rebecca. So many unresolved father issues.

Wait? Paula made that veil? What a gem. What a fantastic human.

Rebecca, I know you’re SO HAPPY but this wedding CANNOT happen.

I mean, this wedding isn’t going to happen, right?

RIGHT?!?!

YES A DEATH METAL NUMBER THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED FROM THIS SHOW

You know Josh, you’re not the brightest, but thank you for recognizing something’s up and that Rebecca’s has done a complete 180 in regard to her newfound idealized vision of her relationship with her father.

You still shouldn’t marry Rebecca, though.

Stop being cute. I refuse to ship this.

Oh, God; she’s said her life is practically perfect. She’s happy. How is this all going to fall apart?

Hmmm…

Oh, God.

Josh is a stand-in for her dad.

No, not like that.

Just that she had abandonment issues regarding her father and that Josh is her way of fixing that. Like, by him sticking with her, she can mentally erase what happened with her dad by making Josh the primary male figure in her life. Just like “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” in season one suggested-that every guy she dates is just a stand-in for her dad.

This show, guys. It’s so good.

Robert? Who tf is Robert? Was she engaged before? Interesting

Darryl’s in the stag party, God bless.

REJOSHECCA CHABUNCH DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE DARRYL

Looks like Rebecca’s not the only one with an unhealthy relationship with her opposite-sex parent. (Lookin’ at you, Hector.)

White Josh is right; last two people who should get married.

WiJo is not into marriage; of course. Kids, yes, marriage, no-Darryl is going to be so upset.

But, you know, actual conflict that couples have to deal with is good, so props on that. I’m excited to see where their storyline goes. And, you know, I think there’s something to be said for not having to “legitimize” a relationship by getting married.

But I also really want them to get married at some point, so…

But, you know, it’s fine. Because I trust the creative team on this show-I trust them in whatever decisions they decide to make.

Wow, I have literally never said that about a show before. Good, job, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Team. (This show is the best, you guys.)

I love Father Brah. Like, legitimately so much.

Shut up, Naomi; Valencia is great.

“Hootenany.” I’m so glad Valencia’s vocabulary is this way.

All of these guests, but no Trent? I was promised Trent. Where is Trent?

Did she just…pop her foot while hugging her dad? WTF?

Aw, Scott and Paula went together. As much as I don’t like infidelity plots, I’m glad they’re working things out.

Naomi is dishing. It. Out. I wasn’t aware how much I loved her before this episode.

NATHANIEL IS HERE

WHY

WHY IS NATHANIEL HERE AND NOT TRENT

Is he trying to be a Nice Guy ™? Or does he just want approval because he also has father-based self-esteem issues? In either case, he really needs to shut up.

Hmm…accepted to Harvard, Robert happened, went to Yale instead? GIVE ME ANSWERS

Yeah, she’s an enigma because she kept one obviously traumatic event from you, Josh.

He thought….

The dance instructor thinks Rebecca is marrying her dad. Wow. And she finds it funny instead of being freaked out (presumably because a stranger sees an emotional connection between them and she’ll take anything she can get at this point)? Can this show get any more blatant?

My poor, little problematic protagonist.

I NEED. TO BORROW. SOME CASH. WOOOOOOOOOOOW. What a fucking jerk.

No wonder Rebeca has so many issues. Her own parental unit only came to her wedding in order to ask her for some fucking money. God, I hate this show.

(That’s a lie; I love this show with every single atom in my body.)

Thank you, Doctor Akopian. Dr. Akopian is the hero we all need. #AkopianforPresident

Oh shit, Robert the mysterious ex-boyfriend was her TEACHER?! (I mean, she said “I dropped out of your class” and “You said you’d leave your wife,” so I assume…)

Oh, no, Rebecca. You did not drive your father away, you were eleven. You were not a needy child. Someone give this poor woman a hug.

Forget about the past? I do not like this. I don’t trust you, Silas. I’ve got both my eyes on you.

YES TRENT FINALLY

PLEASE SAVE US WITH YOUR MORALLY UNSOUND PLOTS

So, this wedding can’t happen, but I don’t want Josh to be the one to call it off because I know that will utterly break Rebecca.

But I also don’t want Josh to be sad because he’s trying his best.

Yes, communication is good. Thank you, Father Brah.

This conversation is going to be a time.

A REPRISE OF YOU STUPID BITCH

AND VILLAIN IN MY OWN STORY

IT’S A MEDLEY

Okay, this show wins all the awards. All of them. Everyone else can go home.

NO JOSH A GIRL CANNOT FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

YES JOSH RECOGNIZING YOUR ISSUES AND CALLING YOURSELF OUT I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

Please, talk to each other. I don’t ship you, but you need to have this conversation.

I am actually legitimately scared; I have no idea what is going to happen.

This friendship is so important. Paula and Rebecca, I mean.

HAHAHAHAHA DON’T ASK ME I’M JUST A DUMB COWBOY WHO LIKES WEDDINGS Darryl is my favorite. Like, actual favorite on this show.

WiJo, maybe you shouldn’t argue about it, but you should talk. Discussing where your relationship will go is important for couples everywhere.

Heather’s directness and honesty is everything to me.

JOSH WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING

DARRYL DARRYLDARRYLDARRYL IT IS FAR TOO EARLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CONSIDER HAVING A BABY YOU GUYS ARE PRECIOUS BUT PLEASE THINK ABOUT THIS

Why is this show like this? Why did I sell my soul?

…I hate this.

Josh, no. Don’t just leave. You need to talk to Rebecca. Trust me, it will hurt her less than if you just don’t show up without an explanation.

I am so here for all of Rebecca’s friends being willing to rip Josh apart for abandoning her.

“With someone else, but it’s not what you think?” Is he dead?

WHAT

JOSH IS JOINING THE MINISTRY

…Because Father Brah said it was the answer to all of his questions about life and Josh thinks this will solve his serial monogamy problem.

I…honestly didn’t see that coming.

Oh, no. Rebecca is thinking about jumping. I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I asked for a silly musical show that deconstructed romantic comedies, and I did NOT ask for this.

Aw, she admitted she loved Greg while he was here. This makes my heart happy. They were not good for each other and shouldn’t get back together, but I’m glad she acknowledged his importance.

Okay. So, Robert was her teacher, he broke up with her, she tried to burn his stuff and got tried for arson, and the judge agreed to strike it from her record if she sought mental health counseling. She went to a mental institution and did the whole drug cocktail thing, and that explains why she was on so much medication at the beginning of the show and couldn’t feel anything.

That…makes a lot of sense, actually.

YES PAULA

Oh, God, this is so important. Everyone in Rebecca’s life left her because of their stuff, not because of her. And it all starts with her father walking out.

YES YOU TELL HIM REBECCA

Oh, thank GOD.

“You’re crazy.” “Little bit.”

REBECCA OWNING HERSELF AND ACKNOWLEDGING HER ISSUES HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY

“Have fun flying coach, dick.” Oh, Nathaniel. You know, I just might come to like you.

Destroying Josh Chan. What is she planning?

WAIT WHAT NO

YOU CAN’T JUST END IT THERE NO

I CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER 8 MONTHS FOR A RESOLUTION TO THIS

GIVE ME MORE

Well, at least we got renewed for season 3.

I look forward to it.

And, I gotta say: Rebecca hating Josh is a new dynamic I am beyond excited to explore.

Peace out. This has been a Liveblog No One Will Read.

Pretty Boy Morty 1/2

Allow me to introduce you to my own made up 100% USDA Organic Morty: Pretty Boy Morty

Like with all Morty’s it begins with a Rick. In the finite curve, he’s an average Rick, no more evil or good, not excessively brilliant or stupid in comparison. His Morty, however, is nothing like what he should be. Rick meets him for the first time after things go terribly wrong. He’s been avoiding meeting his own Morty for years. He knows what they look like and how they act and, frankly, he’s not really all that interested in the idea of lugging around a whiny brat.

But during a mission to exchange some illegal weaponry with a buyer, he slips up and gets in trouble. The heat’s coming down hard. And he could just slide into a new universe but, unfortunately for Rick, he’s actually kinda attached to the one he’s in. So with no other options, he does what every Rick eventually does. He goes to visit Beth. He figures he’ll stay there a week tops, avoid Morty as much as possible, and go on with his life.

But when he gets to Earth things don’t go as planned. Namely, because his Morty is not what he should be, and suddenly the average life of an average Rick is completely thrown off track.

Morty’s are supposed to be unpopular, whiny, idiots but this Morty… is an outlier. He’s got long eyelashes, bouncy hair he grows just a little longer than his copies and he has it styled to perfection. He takes care of his appearance, wears lip gloss, tight jeans, button up shirts, even jewelry. He’s the student council president, popular with the girls [and the guys]. Not even the football team at his school will dare lay a finger on him because he’s helped them with their studies [and he may or may not have blackmail material on the others].

The fact is that Rick’s Morty is a pretty boy. He’s got a perfect life and, frankly, he’s got the personality to match. He’s spoiled, selfish, and cocky, so when Rick shows up, Pretty Boy Morty he doesn’t give a damn about him.

Rick soon realizes the key feature that’s morphed his Morty this way is Beth. She finished school to be a doctor even through her pregnancies and then divorced Jerry not long after Morty was born. The constant competition between Beth and Jerry to be there children’s favorite led to Morty getting whatever. He learned quickly that all that really matters to people is appearances so he’s spent his life molding his appearance into one of perfection and beauty.

Pretty Boy Morty is constantly fixing his lip gloss, refusing to get out of the ship until his eyebrows are on fleek. He takes forever to apply and reapply lipstick when it gets fucked up. He refusing to be out at night because he needs his beauty sleep. He dressing scantily for adventures and draws all the wrong kind of attention, just for the fun of it, because at school he’s always prim and proper and it boring beyond belief.

And it doesn’t stop there. Pretty Boy Morty lectures Rick angrily at 4 am when he walks into his room, drunk, and wakes him up. Morty being a little brat and refusing to go on a mission because, “My homework isn’t done yet, Rick, and I won’t have my grade drop because of you.“ This leads to Rick doing the homework for Morty while the pretty little shit paints his nails. and Rick doesn’t even realize it until after he’s done all Morty’s equation work.

Because you can bet that Pretty Boy Morty is the single most manipulative little shit that Rick has ever encountered in his life. He knows he has to be, he knows that no one really cares about him that they only really care about the pouty lips and cute eyes he can flash them. They only care that he has the perfect grades, the perfect resume, and Morty knows that. Morty knows how to get exactly what he wants. He knows what to say, how to dress, what look to give, and it drives Rick absolutely insane.

And you can bet that Miami Morty and Pretty Boy Morty are best friends. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Just imagine: Pretty Boy Morty looking at Rick with scathing disgust when Rick wants to go get laid and suggests that he stay at the Morty Daycare for a few hours. Morty obviously fights tooth and nail, stating he’s not a child and he can’t just be brought to the dog hotel like some prized poodle while Rick goes off to let some alien fuck him.

But when he gets there and meets Miami Morty he figures he can stay a little while.

And they are most definitely the Mean Girls of the Daycare. They seem to sit above the rest, painting each other’s nail and gossiping, exchanging secrets on how they keep their hair bouncy and soft despite the hair gel and dye necessary to keep it in perfect style. And you know they talk shit about their Rick’s, and, honestly, PB Morty is slightly relieved to hear he’s not the only one who has to deal with leering glances from his own grandpa.

By the time their Ricks finally come to pick them up, the two are practically best friends, telling the Ricks to shut up as they got right back to talking. Just picture it. Pretty Boy and Miami exchange dimension numbers and like, when PB needs to be dropped off for a while, he demands to go to Miami’s house or back to their own house. No exceptions. To which Rick eventually concedes because he doesn’t want to deal with a pissy Morty and, either way, he’s getting what he wants by dropping the boy off, regardless of where he’s at.

Just imagine PB and Miami all holed up in Miami’s extravagant bedroom, giggling and laughing and gossiping and, after a while, Miami leans in and asks Morty if he’s fucked his Rick yet. And PB rears back. He definitely wasn’t expecting that and he’s grossed out and disgusted and like "Wtf no, why would you even ask that.” And Miami just blinks at him, all confused and tells Morty that he thought Rick was PB’s Sugar Daddy and that’s why he was so spoiled and so different from the other Morty’s.

Miami confiding in PB and admitting that Miami Rick is his Sugar Daddy and, standing up and pulling his shirt up in the back, showing PB the tramp stamp tattoo of Rick’s name and dimension number on his back.

And even though PB wants to be disgusted, and kind of is, he’s also intrigued.

PB Morty asking Miami what it’s like and Miami happily telling him that Rick’s are SKILLED in bed. Really skilled. You kind of have to be to fuck your way through all of space-time. Miami explaining how it happened and what it’s like. PB Morty admitting he’s still a virgin because looks are everything and the moment you start sleeping around rumors fly and he has devoted too much time to making his reputation untouchable and he can’t risk it not for anything, or anyone. and if he’s honest, he’s a little scared of sex he’s scared of what people will say. Miami assuring Pretty Boy Morty that people will talk anyway. PB actually opening up to someone for once. They’d be such tight knit friends after that.

I mean, they exchanged secrets and, no matter how prissy and uppity, they’re still Morty’s so they bond fairly quickly.

After a few months go by, PB tries to convince himself that he’s interested in the whole “fucking Rick” thing as a concept, like people who read sex stories about incest but have no interest in fucking their own fathers. Nothing more.

But.. as time goes on, he starts discovering that’s a lie. Because he’s slipping. He’s letting Rick get away with shit. He goes out later than he normally would just to spend time with Rick. He misses the occasional throwaway assignment and just flutters his eyelashes and gets full points because the teachers know he’s brilliant anyway. Morty can’t stop looking at Rick now. Whenever the older man isn’t looking, Morty is subtly glancing at him and wondering what it’d be like to fuck him. But, even after PB Morty finally comes to terms with wanting to fuck his own grandpa, he has a feeling that it won’t be that simple. He has a feeling Rick won’t immediately hop into bed with him if he asks and so, not willing to risk fucking up in any way, he goes to Miami for advice on how to seduce his grandpa.

Miami telling PB Morty that it’s basically a universal consistency for Rick’s to fuck their Morty’s so it shouldn’t be too hard. And PB Morty being partially relieved and horrified to hear that Ricks are universally perverted old men. Miami telling Pretty Boy what his own Rick likes, telling PB to maybe ditch the prim and proper Pretty Boy school clothes for something a little easier to tear off. When that doesn’t work Miami tell’s him to try getting unwanted attention from some aliens.

But imagine when none of that works. PB has dressed scantily, he’s subtly flirted, he’s danced and giggled with other aliens, he’s flirted with Miami in front of Rick, Hell, he’s flirted with a few Ricks that they’ve met at the Citadel but, literally, nothing is working. And, of course, Pretty Boy Morty feels kinda hurt. He knows he’s sexy but suddenly he doesn’t feel sexy enough for Rick and, before now, he didn’t realize that mattered to him.

But, apparently, it does.

Imagine PB becoming withdrawn, out of ideas, struggling to deal with his own desires, frustrated by his inability to get the idea out of his head and, in his anger and confusion, he even starts pushing Miami away. He blames Miami for making him feel that way about Rick. He never had those types of thoughts about Rick before Miami came into his life. He never even entertained the notion. Ever. And now it’s in his brain like a parasite that won’t go away.

He slowly dresses less and less sexy until he’s literally going to school in the t-shirt and jeans he wore the day before. He ignores Miami’s calls and texts. He goes with Rick without complaint, no matter what time of day it is. He barely gets through his homework. he doesn’t wear makeup, his roots start to show and de doesn’t re-dye them. He doesn’t style his hair.

He doesn’t do anything other than try and figure out how to stop wanting to fuck Rick…

[My lovely @the-clairvoyant-rick will be posting the other half of this on her own blog so make sure you follow her and stalk her and love her.]

anonymous asked:

QUESTION TO THE AUTHOR what else do you ship besides drarry???? What inspired you to write??? Do your friends know about this blog or are you the type to like "NO DONT LOOK AT MY SHAME"??? IM SO CURIOUS YOURE LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE WRITER EVER (soz for the creepiness

OH MY GOD, THANK YOU AND YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE ANONYMOUS ASK EVER? I GUESS? IDK ❤️

Besides Drarry, I guess I like Wolfstar? I haven’t read more than a handful of Wolfstar fics though. And I guess Scorbus is cute, but I haven’t read any of that lol.

What inspired me to write in general? I’ve been writing since before I was 10 years old (I mean, not smut, obviously, wtf?) I’ve always been a bookworm (even though my life now revolves around reading gay porn and I haven’t picked up a real book since 1839) and that in turn always inspired me to write. And IDK I’ve been told I have a flair for it but apparently my confidence only extends this far.

What inspired me to write Drarry, specifically? I stumbled upon it purely by accident actually; before that I used to ship– (Draco’s going to kill me) –Dramione! Then I started reading Drarry and well, it’s like quicksand, once you’re in, there’s no getting out. And so after a while of only reading it I figured, in for a penny in for a pound, cause I’ve always loved to write and this particular ship is nothing if not inspiring and after months of working on it I finished Playing the Hero

And nobody outside my little Tumblr/Ao3/ff.net world knows I write Drarry, and not ‘cause of any ‘shame’ but ‘cause nobody would get why we’re all so obsessed with it. This ship is definitely more than just about all the lovely smut. It’s about something that, if you think about, could’ve been canon. 

Or so I keep telling myself, lulz.

MY MEET AND GREET STORY:
On Tuesday evening I was contacted by Taylor Nation first on Instagram and then again on twitter about them saying how they saw I was going to the show and how huge a fan I was and that they wanted to meet me. I had to give my info by the following day but like I literally replied on twitter with in a second lol. I was freaking out so much and had like no one to tell. Ali called me on Wednesday while I was at work and said how excited she was to meet me and how they were gonna give me a “special shirt” and just thank me for being an awesome fan and then she said I would just have to email her me and my groups info and like SHE KNEW I WOULD BE GOING WITH A GROUP OF 5!!!! She said she would call me back on Friday because they had to scope out COTA and find a good meeting spot and time, plus they were also going to that swiftie meet up and didn’t want to miss it! So I still didn’t directly know I would be meeting T, just thought we were getting merch but something wasn’t adding up lol anyway so I finally tell my group and I couldn’t even focus my whole shift like all I did was text them the entire time and I like sent my email to TN right away and just the days dragged by until Friday lol, sure I was in Dallas by Thursday but it was agonizing waiting for the call and all the info. On Friday I went to the Taylor Swift Experience at the Texas State Fair and RIGHT before I entered Missy called me!!!! I had been thinking too they would call me around the time I visited it, it was fate honestly. Missy told me how we had a meeting place and what time to be there and how the place was HUGE so we should get there earlier to scope it out but then she goes “we have ANOTHER surprise for you! We’re gonna upgrade your seats!!” And we had regular GA so it was amazing however with Lotte having a wheelchair I wanted to make sure we would be able to and that it would work for her so she said they would find a way or spot to put us! (We ended up having ADA upgrades that then no one at the place could even find so we just went into pit and even though it wasn’t the platform spot where all the others got upgrade it was still an amazing view and better than where we would’ve originally been) Anyway, so then Missy says we would have to take a tram after the meet up for the shirts and then she goes “oh and we’re gonna email you a waiver to sign for this!” And I was like WTF!!!! Like why would I need a waiver for a shirt and an upgrade/tram ride, something doesn’t add up but I was dying and told my group everything after and that we needed to sign it ASAP. So now for the show Saturday, we got there around 1 and ended up skipping the Swiftie meet up after hearing TN was giving those upgrades there and obviously since we already had upgrades it wouldn’t be fair to go plus Missy had said if we saw them there we couldn’t go up to them and say like thank you or acknowledge any of this so we just sat near where we needed to meet up until 5. The time was dragging but also flew by, I honestly thought I was gonna throw up like there was still no direct info we were meeting Taylor but we were all still hoping. 5PM rolls around and we go line up with a group of about 30 others plus the radio contest winners and Ali and Missy show up. Ali is literally my favorite person and she remembered meeting me at Gillette. So then they start going through the line and checking everyone in and you can see they have a print out with everyone’s pictures!!!!! They had a super old picture of me and of my friends from when we posted like a “See You In Texas” post for Taylor right before she left Tumblr, so we get checked in and they give us bracelets and our upgraded seats. After a little while we get brought down this little hill where these tents are set up and the radio station people are already in there waiting so we had to wait outside because Ali and Missy were like “That groups a little different from ours, we aren’t doing what they’re doing” and then we get let inside and get our merch bags and honestly I was beginning to panic after they said we weren’t doing what they were doing like obviously they were meeting Taylor bc they won contest which meant we really were just getting “special shirts”. I felt like my emotions were going everywhere like I was so excited but sad. And then Andrea walks in and she thanked us for being huge fans and said that she AND TAYLOR had another surprise for us and that Taylor REALLY wanted to meet us and literally everyone started screaming and crying like it was really happening we were meeting Taylor. We also all found out we were HANDPICKED to meet Taylor by TAYLOR HERSELF!! How crazy is that!! So we had to leave all our stuff in the first tent and get wanded down but then we’re in line and like my group was the FIRST group from TN’s group in line and we were freaking out so much. We had been like somewhat told we were getting individually photos and we were all trying to figure out our poses it was crazy. When we were walking into the next tent we passed by Andrea, Scott and Scott B and Andrea remembered who I was and smiled so big at me and thanked us for being there. So after that we just played the waiting game inside this room that reminded me of Loft 89 by it was like different furniture but still had the same vibe and had food but it most likely wasn’t for us or for any fan really(think it was for staff to eat and relax tbh) since there wasn’t a loft type thing last night. So we’re talking to everyone around us and we’re all like trying to tell each other not to cry so our makeup wouldn’t get ruined when all of the sudden it’s our groups turn! But then they said it would be the 5 of us going in and we were like we were told singles, and they continued to say it would be the 5 of us so then we wanted to break the group up so it could be more personal but they ushered as all in together and then LIKE THE TAYLOR SWIFT WAS RIGHT THERE STANDING IN THE BACK AND SHE DIDNT LOOK REAL AND SHE SMELLED SO GOOD AND WAS SO TALL AND SHE HUGGED ME SO TIGHT AND TOLD ME HOW HAPPY SHE WAS TO FINALLY MEET ME AND THAT SHE LOVED ME I COULDNT BELIEVE I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER!!! There was so much going on like it was 5 of us but we all tried to say things we wanted but honestly no one really remembered what to say so we all just kept saying we loved her and she was smiling so much. Then I remembered to bring up the blog and how she brought us all together and I mentioned 1989costumes and she was like “omg yeah I love you girls, you’re killing it!” And we freaked out! But then it was time for our photo like we were getting rushed by the people running it so we couldn’t really pick a pose so we just made it work for the 5 of us, though I do wish we had a little more time for it all. We took the photo and the camera girl like checks to make sure everyone looks good before letting us go so that was a plus! We hugged Taylor one last time and she was still talking to us and her team was trying to get us to leave but like literally SHE WAS STILL TALKING and then I was the last one to hug her again and we walked out and got our autographs and we started crying and freaking out. Like it didn’t hit me that had just happened so I wasn’t really crying but I was freaking out so much on the inside and felt like throwing up lol plus I kept crying so much before going in for the photo i think I had no more tears lmao so we get out and go back into the other tent and Ali was asking us how it all went and took photos of us and then the people who were recording us the entire time asked us for an interview. We have no idea what they were recording for but they were !!!! They even recorded our actual meet and greet with Taylor!! Once all the groups were out they brought us out into the tram and they basically told us we would be cutting everyone already in the pit so we had to stay together (obviously we had that ADA which then we couldn’t get to lmao) and we get to the concert and we had the greatest time ever and like she didn’t perform as long as it was like estimated but she was sick and it was more of 1989 than GH but HOLY GROUND AND SPARKS FLY WERE PLAYED!!! And that’s kind of my story. I don’t think I’m forgetting everything I mean the day happened so quickly after we got lined up to meet her but it was amazing and I’m so thankful for getting the opportunity to meet her, it’d been a long 10 years and I literally got to meet her during her like anniversaries week at her only show of 2016! @taylorswift

Hibigay Finale Recap

Since I was asked to do this, here’s a recap of the hibigay finale episode and my personal thoughts as well. SPOILERS EVERYWHUR DONT READ UNTIL YOU WATCH UNLESS YOU DON’T CARE

It always takes me longer than most people to get through these episodes when they air because I prefer to get the best screencaps in my first watch through and I always post them after, and then I had some IRL stuff to take care of so I’m late in doing this, but, hope you enjoy this anyway.

So the general gist of this episode was that the third years were graduating and everyone was saying their goodbyes. The episode starts off with the next club president and vice president being chosen and I was very amused to see that it’s FUCKING NATSUUKO ROFL and of course they got into a little hissing match and it was A+. What made it all even more wonderful is that ASUKA MOTHERFUCKIN’ TANAKA was the one who wanted that lineup. I think this cap sums everything up perfectly:

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Sometimes I feel like theme makers have no rights.

Why? Let’s see, theme makers generally have to:

  • answer things in their inbox politely on a regular basis
  • fix bugs on their coding as soon as possible
  • post codes on a regular basis (before people start going into the inbox and demand that they do so)
  • do all of this, as well as juggling whatever commitments they have in real life, such as studying, or having a job, or actually having a life.

In addition, here is a general process that goes behind making a theme:

  1. Plan the theme. Draw inspiration from various places, make sure you’re original enough, or just whack it and sketch something out.
  2. Open the tumblr customiser, and start translating the idea into code.
  3. Fuck something up, then spend ages trying to fix it, only to then break something else and end up having to fix that, too.
  4. Debug the code and add your credits, trying to make sure that people can’t delete them too easily.
  5. Code meta options into the theme and painstakingly design a colour scheme that works, while making sure that your booleans are all properly coded, that your colour options all work, and that common add-ons (music player, updates tab, freehostedscripts, etc) don’t fuck up when you install them.
  6. Make previews. Find appropriate posts of each post type to reblog, look for suitable header/sidebar/background images, photoshop accordingly if needed, test dimensions.
  7. Write feature lists and options, customisation notes, theme documentation, etc.
  8. Post the theme, ensure that your screenshot shows off the best parts of the theme, tag it appropriately, submit it to relevant places, etc.

And yet, many theme makers also have to:

  • deal with things like people removing the credit and other people stealing their coding
  • deal with customisation questions that they don’t want to respond to, or questions about things that have been asked over and over again and are written on the FAQ
  • deal with rude people demanding that their answer their message and/or fix their bug right now, at once, immediately
  • deal with even ruder people telling them off for being rude when the question was on their FAQ or in the theme documentation
  • deal with people demanding that they re-publish ______ theme that has already been revamped/deleted

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scattered-dreamers  asked:

All right. So for the hitman AU. Not sure if this has been done yet. If it has, can you just link the post? But, asexual!Vega please? Especially headcanons regarding asexual l!Vega and Saeran. ^^ Please and thank you. I love your blog.

✿ so this turned into “I-don’t-want-sex” comedy and is also filled with swearing and crude humor. young, pure eyes turn back - Vega has literally no filter and will say whatever is on their mind.

also, I didn’t really have ideas for V and Vanderwood that were any good, but if someone ends up wanting them, feel free to ask and I might have something for you later. ;V

Here’s the Hitman!AU/Vega tag.


Yoosung

  • you slick back your hair.
  • you adjust your tie.
  • you take a deep breath, let it out, and prepare to tell your boyfriend that you’re never, ever going to want to fuck him.
  • It’s not his fault. You don’t particularly want to fuck anybody, and the entire topic… vaguely puzzles you. You’ve seen the worst, seediest parts of humanity, you’ve seen more men be lead astray by their dicks than… lights on a Christmas tree (or whatever), and you’ve never understood the appeal. 
  • It’s just… weird? And sounds unpleasant? And it sucks, because you love Yoosung, and you know he’s really attracted to you but
  • you just
  • you can’t.
  • So you’re going to tell him over dinner and let him do whatever he wants with the knowledge.
  • In hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have decided to break the news in a fancy restaurant you had to get reservations to, but shit, you wanted it to seem formal. Like a break-up, except you were really hoping this didn’t end up with a breakup, even though you’d long ago resolved yourself to the fact that the whole not wanting sex thing would mean no one would ever love you (if the ‘worthless murderer-for-hire’ bit hadn’t damned you enough already.)
  • After a collective effort between the two of you to figure out which of the three forks you use for the h’ordsduhwhatthefuckever (it takes some impromptu googling) you bring up that you have something that you want to talk about. yoosung, torn halfway between trepidation and excitement (are you proposing omg) asks, well, okay, what’s up.
  • and you.
  • in the middle of a fancy restaurant.
  • black tie, black suit.
  • say, “yoosung, i love you, but the idea of sleeping with you makes me want to vomit.” 
  • TO WHICH YOU QUICKLY ADD ON, “not because it’s you, the thought of sleeping with anyone makes me want to vomit. like, i just… don’t want any dicks near any of my orifices, y’know? my body is a strictly no-dick zone.”
  • you pause, not realizing that people are staring at you in horror (yoosung included) and then continue. “or vaginas, I guess, there’s nothing wrong with them, but there’s nothing appealing, y’know?”
  • a third pause.
  • “i mean, i guess you don’t know becau-”
  • “THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH THANK YOU”
  • “but - ”
  • “FANCY RESTAURANTS ARE FOR PROPOSALS AND ANNIVERSARIES, NOT LEWD TALK”
  • “but i’m saying that i’m never gonna want anything lewd - ”
  • “hhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
  • After a particularly intense glare from the lcouple  seated next to you, Yoosung leans in and starts whispering vehemently. You, now thoroughly awkward, do the same, and - under actual crystal chandeliers over a dinner of lobster - proceed to talk about sex.
  • Now, normal people would shelve this conversation and have it in private, but you’re not normal people and also Yoosung can tell this is a source of some anxiety for you, which is probably why you’re bringing it up now. It’s one of your weird quirks that, honestly, he finds endearing, even though - at times like this - it’s also exasperating.
  • Similarly, knowing that it’s a source of anxiety, he’s actually… very sympathetic, quickly reaffirming that, no, he’s not going to leave you, wtf he beat a man up for you, to be quite honest if you’d done what he’d been expecting you to do when you arranged this fancy date and popped the question, he would have said yes in a heartbeat (and still would.)
  • you - the thought of marriage not actually ever having crossed your mind, considering your current preoccupation with playing scholastic catch-up to compensate for years of killing people instead of learning your maths - freeze up.
  • “but yoosung,” you say, the first words that cross your mind coming out of your mouth. “how could i get married to you if i don’t want to have sex.”
  • “what do you mean,” yoosung says, exhausted on so many levels from trying to explain to you that it’s okay, he can live without it.
  • “what would we do on the wedding night.”
  • yoosung stares at you. rubs his eyes, and then offers, “i dunno. you like jenga, right?”
  • shit yeah you like jenga.
  • great, Yoosung says, and uses to illustrate the many, many entertaining things he’s a-ok with doing with you instead of banging.

Zen

  • ohhhhhhh boy uh, this is going to be a trip.
  • You didn’t just run (quite literally, run) from Zen just because of your own anxieties regarding your potential impact on his career. No, you know Zen is a horny fucker, and you know that all you could do is either break his heart by saying you’ll never sleep with him, or break your own heart by doing things that make you really, really uncomfortable.
  • so - figuring that it’s best for everyone else involved - you leave and go to Cuba.
  • Of course, Zen FINDS you in Cuba because he’s A DETERMINED PIECE OF SHIT, and he’s trying to drag you back to the RFA while you hide underneath the counter of the bar you’ve been working to pay the rent.
  • Everyone is staring at you as you shout at each other in Korean. Zen begs you to come home, you say you can’t, he asks you why not, you say BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, he says THAT’S EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULD COME BACK HE LOVES YOU TOO
  • “but that’s the problem”
  • “WHY IS THAT THE PROBLEM”
  • “i’ll ruin your career”
  • “I DON’T CARE OMG BESIDES JUMIN IS GOING TO FIX THINGS”
  • “but we can’t date”
  • “WHY NOT”
  • “because i can’t sleep with you!!!!”
  • zen pauses.
  • “why not? is there like… something weird down there? because i’m really flexible”
  • ZEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PORN YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING BUT THAT’S NOT IT. I JUST DON’T WANNA FUCK ANYBODY, YOU INCLUDED.”
  • and zen’s like. oh.
  • why.
  • he’s quieted down a bit (he kind of has to, since the bouncer has decided to make his Opinions about Shouting known) and you poke your head over the counter and say, well, you dunno. you’ve never been interested. 
  • it just seems gross, and that the only throes of passion you wants to experience is the aftermath of eating an entire pot of curry.
  • he just doesn’t get it.
  • you pour him a drink and desperately try to explain, as he repeatedly asks about act after act, and you alternate between various ways to say “nope”, “no”, “sounds awful”, and “tried it and didn’t like it”.
  • wow, zen says. well. that’s fine. he’ll just have to restrain his beast.
  • “zen you should find someone who fits your needs, you shouldn’t have to make yourself unhappy for me”
  • “look,” zen says, gesturing vaguely at you. “porn has been fine for this long, I’m sure I can manage.”
  • oh my god.
  • he’s really insistent on that though, and god did you miss him, so eventually you’re convinced to give it a shot. 
  • it… becomes something that you can discuss with amusing frankness as you tease Zen about the contents of his  “collection” whenever he goes to have some “me-time”.
  •  the disconnect in your needs causes you a good bit of anxiety at first, but Zen is a loyal guy, and you’re totally fine with hugs, cuddles, and disgustingly saccharine hand holding.
  • The two of you make a bizarre couple - a fact which the media comments on occasionally - but zen don’t GIVE A FUCK. like. when has he ever?
  • he’s always wanted to do his own thing, after all.

Jaehee

  • “so, Jaehee. approximately how much do you think about sex.”
  • jaehee spits out her water, wipes her mouth, and looks over at you fidgeting by the counter. are you trying to imply you want something or -
  • NO, you say, holding up your hands and sweating buckets. THE OPPOSITE ACTUALLY I UH
  • I JUST
  • OH SHIT
  • FUCK I, I SHOULD HAVE PREPARED NOTECARDS, I UH
  • LOOK I’VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, PLEASE DON’T BE MAD, I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAD YOU ON BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT AND I THOUGHT YOU’D BE DISAPPOINTED OR - I MEAN - I THOUGHT I’D JUST START WANTING TO - I MEAN - I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WOULD GO AWAY ON ITS OWN BUT
  • I
  • UM
  • Jaehee interrupts you as she towels herself off. “Vega, I know you’re asexual, and you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve never expected anything like that from you.”
  • you pause.
  • you stare at her.
  • “…i’m what?”
  • oh my god you didn’t even know the word for it what the fuck.
  • Jaehee, bless her soul, sits you down and explains to you that not wanting sex is actually not that abnormal, and your mind is blown. Not only because you’re suddenly learning for the first time that you’re not broken like you thought you were, but because Jaehee figured it out before you did. You ask her how the hell she knew and she just shrugs and say she got that vibe from you.
  • “what do you mean, you ‘got that vibe’.”
  • “You never initiated anything, and you’re certainly not shy, so I always assumed…”
  • Jaehee is genuinely, seriously okay with it. She has a pretty low drive herself, and she finds you engaging in many other ways, so it’s… not really a concern?
  • As long as she can connect with you emotionally, it’s okay, and you totally deflate from how tightly wound you were. Bless u jaehee, the world needs u and your kindness.

(the rest is under the read more!)

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The moment John and Sherlock fell in love

I was trying to figure out which one it was or if we ever actually witnessed this exact moment or if their love was something that happened gradually. In one of the very first metas I wrote when I created this blog, I expressed my opinion that John wasn’t consciously flirting at Sherlock during this dinner at Angelo’s. Of course, I believe both of them were attracted to each other from the very first moment, but what I was wondering was when each of them realized that something more was going on. 

So, one of the things I have written there is that at least John hadn’t realized he had romantic interest in Sherlock till they returned at home after Angelo’s. (For more on this topic, you can read “Why Sherlock isn’t really sexually oblivious”. Consider this post partly a continuation of that meta.)

After a little romantic moment in Baker Street, Lestrade watching, Johnlock gives its place to the crime plot until the end. In which, John Watson kills a man for Sherlock Holmes. And this time, he looks pretty consciously in love - and probably a little worried because of it. See this post for some sort of visual proof. So, is this the great moment after which John’s ENORMOUS heteronormativity makes its appearance? Because he is heteronormative as fuck in TBB. Probably. Therefore the realization must have happened after they returned home from Angelo’s and before John shot the cabbie.

TRUE! TRUE!

I just noticed.

Their realization is one of the most famous - if not the top famous one - Johnlock scenes!

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anonymous asked:

if you're still doing requests could you do one where they run into a clown ( with saeran and v pls too ). ily!

I’M FOREVER ACCEPTING REQUESTS UNTIL MY BLOG SAYS OTHERWISE! SHOVE THEM INTO MY INBOX.

Also holy s h i t. I ran into a clown the other day while driving nonono what is w r o n g with people. As always V and Saeran will be under the cut.

Yoosung

  • omg p o o r c h i l d
  • literally ran into one while walking on the streets or in a park for a date with MC
  • sees clown with a knife
  • clown with knife + Yoosung = 404 Error
  • P A N I C P A N I C omgomg what do i do holy shit
  • S C R E A M I N G SOME SAVE THIS POOR PUPPY
  • MC isn’t any better off but holy shit Yoosung is the most scared
  • he watched IT the Clown as a kid scarred for life this is your fault Stephen King why did you do this to people
  • literally so tempted to run the other way but home is in that direction
  • MC is the one the saves the day
  • because MC drags them past the clown
  • and when the clown approaches them
  • H O L Y S H I T mayday mayday God Seven whereareyouweneedhelp
  • MC PULLS OUT A TASER BECAUSE BADASS
  • and tases clown so they can run home
  • Yoosung almost pissed his pants whothehellthoughtofthis
  • plays lots of LOLOL with MC in his lap to recover from the encounter
  • cuddles for hours to get over it

Zen

  • he was literally apart of a motorbike gang but he isn’t hard
  • runs into the clown with a knife while on his motorcycle with MC
  • holyholyholy pray to the gods weneedthedivinetoday
  • DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR A MOMENT
  • MC is shaky af and tugging on him asking what they should do
  • AFTER THE GODDAMN CLOWN STARTS WALKING TO THEM
  • Z e n i s l i t e r a l l y f r o z e n
  • about to scream like a girl but MC is there gotta be cool gotta be the hero
  • HE’S STILL SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE AND PANICKING
  • until he remembers he’s on a motorbike
  • AND HE’S LIKE SCREW IT WHAT AM I PANICKING FOR
  • literally floors it and books it out of there
  • almost runs over the clown and did the world a favor holyshit act like an idiot end up in the hospital
  • not today you stupid clowns holy shit gotta look good in front of MC
  • gets home and acts all chill about it and mentions it like it was nothing
  • who do you think you’re fooling you froze for a solid twenty minutes while the clown was taking a step per minute
  • but takes a bath with MC and cue sexy music to makeup for scary encounter

Jaehee

  • does not u n d e r s t a n d why this Clown Epidemic™ is happening
  • but there is no way she’s messing around with it
  • UNTIL A CLOWN APPEARS ONE DAY WHILE SHE’S WITH MC ON A DATE AND THEY’RE WALKING HOME
  • IT’S NIGHT and she’s had a long day whywhywhy are the gods like this to her
  • JAEHEE IS TIRED AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE TIME
  • SHE ISN’T DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT MR. CLOWN no one is dealing with your shit Mr. Clown
  • *badass girlfriend music plays in the background*
  • both her and MC carry tasers around
  • because safety and badass, alwaysalways badass
  • she tases the clown and drags shaking MC home
  • after the clown falls to the ground K.O’d
  • HOME BASE IS S A F E. NO MORE CLOWN FEARS FOR MC.
  • because Jaehee Kang is a badass and having none of your bullshit today Mr. Clown who did you think you were playing with not today
  • watches fluffy movies at home and in bed and cuddles through the night because clown encounters are scary

Jumin

  • d o e s n ‘ t h a v e a f e a r o f c l o w n s
  • so impassive and cold and apathetic and wtf is this person dressing like that for do you not love yourself or something
  • runs into the clown with a knife while walking to car after a date with MC
  • MC is literally clinging onto Jumin and shaking
  • MC is all like p a n i c p a n i c errorerrorerror this situation does not compute
  • you might not be afraid of clowns but your lady love saw IT the Clown, she is, so play ball mista trustfund kid
  • engages with a staring contest with the clown
  • feels MC shaking and almost crying and figures the clown is what’s causing it
  • Death Glare™ shot at the clown
  • did you think Jumin was playing Mr. Clown, did you think this was without consequences Mr. Clown, why did you do this to yourself
  • and he’s Jumin Han
  • aka Mr. Director of a company and is never without a bodyguard in sight
  • Mr. Clown is going to jail. Mr. Clown is behind bars.
  • smfh you really had a death wish going up to Jumin Han like that
  • when Jumin gets home with MC
  • lots and lots of cuddling to make up for trauma
  • plays with Elizabeth the 3rd and more cuddles
  • it’s not cuddling for long if you know what I mean daddy jumin please

Seven

  • he is doing so much more dangerous things daily
  • b u t never before has he run into a clown after watching IT the Clown
  • and now it happens on the one date he makes time for in a month your bad luck must transcend time God Seven
  • he’s literally laughing and crying at the same time how is that possible
  • MC is panicking and almost ready to cry clowns are scary alright
  • so they’re both hugging each other not knowing what to do
  • someone save these poor babies they’re going to die staying still
  • GOD SEVEN ISN’T HERE TO SAVE YOU NOW
  • Seven literally calms himself down and wraps an arm around MC’s shoulders
  • and literally just walks past the clown
  • you are God Seven you are God Seven peasantscannottouchyou
  • clown does nothing
  • RUNS HOME WITH MC IN TOW HOLY SHIT WAS THAT THE SCARIEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HIM
  • sits at home while watching something happy with MC in his lap
  • literally goes online and attempts to make dressing up as a clown illegal

V

  • he’s literally almost blind he’s seeing nothing lucky him
  • he does not understand why MC is so scared
  • they’re on a picture taking adventure and all of a sudden MC shrieks
  • f u l l o n w o r r i e d m o d e
  • MC has to explain really fast while tugging him away
  • “there’s a clown with a knife and we have to go.”
  • runrunrunrunrun gogogogogogo nononononono
  • TOO BAD V ISN’T ALL TOO SCARED OF CLOWNS
  • he’s literally so c a l m about the situation and snaps another photo
  • but sees the clown in the photo LOOKING SCARY AF you didn’t believe MC did you but now look where you are huh mr. teal and brave
  • holy shit that is not a normal clown told you so Mr. V 
  • V I S M A L F U N C T I O N I N G and MC IS READY TO SCREAM
  • V literally chucks his tripod at the clown he can buy a new one he needs to go now with MC
  • the clown is in shock
  • MC drags V away and they stumble home while running from the clown
  • V comforts MC and apologizes for not believing them
  • he makes it up in bed later let’s be real here daddy v is a thing

Saeran

  • also another one t h a t i s n ‘ t a f r a i d o f c l o w n s
  • getting ice cream with MC one day and oh would you look at that
  • THERE’S A CLOWN ON THE STREETS
  • BUT IT ISN’T HANDING OUT BALLOONS NOPE
  • HE’S HERE TO DELIVER NIGHTMARES AND PEOPLE PISSING THEIR PANTS
  • MC is literally ready to cry and tugging on Saeran’s sleeve to l e a v e
  • MC just wanted ice cream not terror and nightmares nopenopenope
  • but Saeran engages in a staring contest with the clown
  • death glare for scaring MC
  • double death glare for causing MC to drop their ice cream
  • triple death glare for ruining their day out together date
  • Mr. Clown sees the glare Mr Clown outoutout
  • Mr. Clown runs away because shit that kid is scary
  • Saeran buys MC another ice cream and walks around a park with them
  • whenever the Clown spots Saeran he books it
  • not today satan n o t t o d a y
  • no more clowns approach Saeran or MC ever again
  • MC’s knight of shining death glare gets a million kisses
Innocence Lost

Anonymous: hey if you’re taking requests I was wondering if you could do a baekhyunxreader smut where the girl is a lot younger ( legal oviously tho ) and he feels bad the next morning cause he thinks he took her innocence but the reader just like bro no u didnt lmao? Its stupid but i’m curious !! thank uu love ur blog btw

Baekhyun is like hitting me in the face with inspirations like wtf boi stop. I hope you enjoy it! I sorta felt a little off writing the age difference part but I subtly included it!

Summary: The morning after was more entertaining than you thought

Idol: Byun Baekhyun (Exo)

Genre: fluff / hints of smut

Word Count: 1,195

Originally posted by exoturnback

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Hannibal Rewatch: 1x06

Season 1, Episode 6: “Entrée”
or, THE SHOW THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

**Warning: rewatch blogging, written with knowledge of the full series

“Entrée” is basically about as far as everything currently happening on Hannibal got before it turns on its axis in the next episode, the literal and figurative center of season 1 and, arguably, the entire series.

Yeah, we’re going bold here. I hope you are enjoying these Bold Proclamations.

The reasons for why I hinge PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING on Season 1, Episode 7 “Sorbet” will be explained in full on that rewatch, so for now let’s just talk about what we’re nearing the peak on here in ep. 6, some of which will continue at this level, some of which will crest here and never reach these heights again.

1. Will’s Horrifying Kill Reconstructions

OH MY GOD.

I can hardly watch this sequence, not gonna lie. It’s far & away the darkest murder scene in this season, and I think a lot of it’s because every ounce of clinical remove Will usually tries to maintain in his narration is gone, for his entire narration is gone. There are no words, no “this is my design” no “I [murder action here],” he just does, and it’s deeeeply upsetting. Even later at his most Monster Husband-y, even just in his imagination, it doesn’t even approach how disturbing this scene is. The casual easy way he moves around the space, unhurried, because he knows exactly what he’s doing. Surety. Utter surety. So so so different from the Will Graham we are about to see, and what makes this SUCH A FUCKING PERFORMANCE by Hugh Dancy.

2. Will Destroyed By His Kill Reconstructions

OH MY GOD.

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