while i do find her annoying

Expedition to Sol2487-3 Pt.4

“This is the weirdest ride of my life” noted Xato Nexgrra. I could only consent him. Our platoon of eleven, sitting in a CARDBOX, big enough it could have been a scouting ship, attending to our incapacitated member while being carried by a foreign race’s pup, which had the size of a legitimate skyscraper, stomping through the endless plains. Each step of the tremendous creature echoed in our heads and brought us dozens of IFPS standard steps ahead. With our improvised vessel in one and the smaller vicious gazing beast - a cat, as Dr. Proaxl could tell us after touching the giant pup’s mind - in the other hand, the giant crossed the lands in an astonishing swift manner.

“So exactly how is this giant going to help us?” I asked Dr. Proaxl.
The doc, while easing Loxxar Kraes’ pain by mental attendance as best as she could, answered to me.
“It’s taking us to its home, where we will find shelter, food, medical equipment and - so all your religious deities are at our side - the support of its family. For this it would be great if we all could communicate with them. Mindtouching is really tiresome and I don’t want to translate between you as our leader and this world’s inhabitants the whole time, so… Üprrkl, how’s it going?”
The annoying Pjörecian scientist had gone silent for a while now and hatched on the task Dr. Proaxl had ordered him.
A brilliant move of her, both shutting him up and giving his undoubtedly enormous brain something better to do than analysing the non-existing chances of our survival.
“Not bad, the data you collected from the pup’s mind are feeding our intercom’s translation codes. They are fragmentary, and at first glance I would say this specimen does not understand its own language’s grammatic rules quite well - or those rules are so broken and arbitrary I for myself can’t wrap my brain around their structure - but its quite the basis. Some rudimentary communication with natives should be possible at least, until you are able to widen the database by mindtouching a - let’s say more experienced - specimen.”
“OK, then let’s try it” I said and formed with my forelimbs a funnel before my mouth. “Hey! You!” I yelled towards our ride.
“It’s name is Max” filled Dr. Proaxl me in.
“Hey! Max! Can you understand me?!”
“YE… I… UN… U…!” The roaring voice echoed in our whole bodies and stressed the intercom’s abilities.
“Maybe I should build in a filter that pitches the tune up and the volume down” suggested Üprrkl. “Wait a moment.” He manipulated his own intercom and shared the changes to the others. “Now.”
“I’ll try again, Max!” I shouted again. “We couldn’t understand you! Say something, please!”
“CAN YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW!!!?”
We flinched under the noise.
“You aren’t too quit, you are too loud! Volume down, please!”
“Oh, sorry. Better?”
“That’s it. Good work, Üprrkl. Ok, Max, we can understand you now. How far is it to your home?”
“Why? We’re here!”

Due to the sunset and the speed, we hadn’t even noticed the sudden difference in the scenery. We entered some gigantic building and the reddish yellow light of the sun changed to the cold blue shining of electric lights. Of course this building had to be gigantic, given the fact the giant carrying us - Max – was only a pup, the house of its family must have been astronomic to our standards. It was just reasonable. But nevertheless we were struck speechless, for this building was for real taller as you could see.
Max brought us in through a huge gate – or was it a simple door? It was archaic, moving around a pivot without any means of electromotoric assistance. Then he brought us upwards by stairs into his room. Beside the electric lights there were no proofs of advanced technologies. At least those giants seemed to be far away from space travel and so they posed no threat for the IFPS for now.
“Wait here, I’ll get some food and medicine. What do you need?” asked Max, the giant.
“Something to prevent inflammation and a narcotic against pain” answered Dr. Proaxl. As a bodyless being, it was only natural for here to ignore the offered food.
So I added to her request: “Some water and something filling and easy to swallow, please.”
Max showed quite the troubled face, but nevertheless left us alone in his room. Thank Xaleates he took that “cat” with him, wouldn’t have wanted to be left alone with that.

After a short while we heard those gigantic steps approaching again, but this time it seemed to be four legs.
“Please Mom”, we heard Max’ voice from behind the door, “just promise me you don’t freak out!”
“Maxwell, I dare you, if you took in a spider or a snake, you’ll sleep in the garage tonight!”
The door swung open and a way taller giant came in, the head covered in lots and lots of those swirly filaments nearly every living thing here had – hair, as Dr. Proaxl told us.
The bigger giant glimpsed at us.
“Quick!” insisted Dr. Proaxl, “Wave one of your forelimps and bare your fangs! It’s a gesture of greetings.”
We did as she told us – but…
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!!!!!”
My eyesight went blank, my hearing broke down, my intercom went sparkling and – I admit it with disgust – I had lost control of some of my digestive organs for a moment. When I regained my senses, I found more than half of my men on the ground, struggling for breath. And even Dr. Proaxl, whose nebulous body usually shimmered in a sparkling yellow white, now smouldered in a nauseous looking green.
“WHA… THE… HE…HA…!”
My hearing was still burrowed under a constant screaming noise, but I registered the muffled rough roar coming from the gate. And through my limbs I felt the tremors of a vast approaching third giant.
Just when would this superlative end? The third one was even taller than the second, by at least two heads. And I mean their heads, not mine. It gestured to the second, the second to Max, and Max gestured to us. And all of them made those annoying roaring noises. My head went numb.
Then finally, the biggest one made a wide gesture and the noises stopped. I remember the face of that giant coming nearer and nearer until it filled all of my field of vision. Then my mind went black.

When I came to my senses again, the biggest giant was talking to a still green shimmering Dr. Proaxl, but I couldn’t follow their talking, so I interrupted them.
“How long have I…?”
“Just seconds, captain. Don’t worry.”
“Oh, you are the captain?” asked the gigantic giant. He oppressed his voice with one of his limbs and tried to be as quiet as he could. Plenty of noise still, nevertheless. “Nice to meet you.”
“This is Captain Bcao Kjuk Mrra, Leading Officer of our expedition ship, and this here is Dr. Smith, Max’ father and biologist of this planet the natives call “Earth”” introduced Dr. Proaxl.
“I apologize in behalf of my wife” began the giant. “Our voices must have quite the destructive force to your bodies. We intended no harm to you, we were just… overwhelmed by your appearance. I mean, it’s just natural, that someday, eventually, someone from out there… I mean now, that after all this time finally…” The giant began quiet, but unknowingly it got louder and louder, like a little boy who couldn’t hide his joy about a new toy. Then Dr. Smith coughed slightly and got quiet again. “Ahem… my apologies. Let’s concentrate at the task at hand. Max said, one of your group is injured?”
“Yes, Loxxar Kraes. He got wounded by a … hamster is what Max mind called it” answered Dr. Proaxl.
“Oh you encountered a field hamster? God, you’re lucky the crop’s plenty. In spring, when it’s their season and the food resources are scarce, they go savage for any intruder in their yard. Some fairly random facts the least of my people knew, but for someone in your… position… it would have been crucial intel. Ok, I see. That breastplate absorbed most of the impact. Some sturdy material you got there. The wound is… what’s that?”
“A force field to keep the wound steril” answered the misty Doc.
“Fascinating” mumbled the giant Doc.
Two in their element. I decided to leave them be. Then the giant Doc asked.
“How do you stand alcohol?”
“For disinfecting? Isopropanol should do…”
“No, no, I mean, how do you stand drinking ethanol?”
Did that monster just say “Drinking ethanol”?!?!

shesaysdisco  asked:

For my medieval literature class this semester we read a version of "Pangur Bán" and now I'm writing my final paper about how differences in translation affect the narrative -- every time I read one of the versions or type the cat's name, I think of your weasel queen! Imagining her screaming at the monk while he's trying to do his important intellectual work is a very amusing image (he would probably be much more annoyed if that were the case).

So in peace our task we ply, 
Pangur Ban, my cat, and I; 
In our arts we find our bliss, 
I have mine and -
mrrraaaaa
and she has -
MRAAARRRRR MWRRAAAAWWWW 
oh for fuck’s sake Pangur Ban

EXO Mafia Reaction: When their pregnant wife tries to leave them to protect their unborn child

||| Anons asked: Mafia!exo/bts reacting to their wife wanting to leave them bc she wants to protect their unborn child; Can I request an Exo mafia reaction where you get pregnant and try and keep it from him? |||

BTS


Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by scartic

You told him you were going shopping but when you didn’t come back for more than three hours and didn’t answer your phone he became worried.

“That girl, she wouldn’t dare do something like this, or would she?”


Xiumin/Kim Minseok

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

You have been thinking about leaving for a while now and when you finally decided to go on with your plan, he came back home early and caught you red handed.

“What the fuck are you doing? Don’t tell me it’s what I’m thinking about.”


Chen/Kim Jongdae

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

You came by his office and told him that you wanted a break. He was so shocked by your sudden statement that he only caught up with you outside.

“Excuse me, can you repeat what stupid thing you just said? Are you seriously trying to leave with our child?”


D.O/Do Kyungsoo

Originally posted by katherine8595

You tried to sneak out at night when somebody grabbed you by your arm.

“And where do you think you’re going, Jagi? Are you trying to escape and leave me all alone?”


Kris/Wu Yifan

Originally posted by wuporn

When he came back home and found you missing he immediately understood what you did.

“Aish, she shouldn’t have told me in the first place. Now how am I supposed to relax until I find her?”


Tao/Huang Zitao

Originally posted by zitaoa

When he found out you left him with his child he was beyond pissed.

“How dare she do something like that to me? Does she seriously think it will be that easy?”


Kai/Kim Jongin

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

When he became aware of your plan he was determined to make you understand that no one will keep you and your child safer than him.

“Jagi, please stay, I really don’t want to take any drastic measures.”


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by katherine8595

You left him a note saying that you will stay at your parents place for a while. He was annoyed that you didn’t call him and tell this yourself so he drove to their house but of course you weren’t there.

“Fuck.” he shouted smashing his car’s window, startling your parents. “I swear, your daughter will be the death of me.”


Luhan

Originally posted by yeollovemebaek

He tracked you down the same day and demanded an explanation. When you told him you were pregnant he was so shocked you tried to leave him.

“And you would have taken our child away from me just like that?”


Zhang Yixing

Originally posted by lullabyun

He was so excited when he first heard the big news that he couldn’t believe you did something like this to him. He went on a rage, smashing everything he found, no one dared to approach him as they have never seen him this mad.

“Find her and bring her to me. Now!!” he ordered his men.


Suho/Kim Junmyeon

Originally posted by tinyjunmyeon

After telling him you went to the balcony to clear your head but he followed after you. You could see he knew what you were thinking.

“Just don’t. It will only be worse for both of us.”


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by khunwufan

When he found out that you’re pregnant not from you but from others he was really irritated but when he was told you also left him, he was beyond pissed.

“I can’t fucking take my eyes off her for a second or she goes ahead and makes trouble for me.”


A/N: Almost all of their reactions turned out pretty angry or maybe it’s just me releasing my built up frustration from the exams 😂

Naruto couples attend a birthing class
  • Chouji: Providing snacks for his wife's unstopable cravings.
  • Karui: Crying in the corner because she thinks she's getting fat, while assaulting a bag of chips.
  • Naruto: Has three clones assisting Hinata to change positions while he holds her hand the whole time.
  • Hinata: Strongly embarrassed at having to spread legs in front of the entire class.
  • Sasuke: Pretends to find it annoying but has sharingan activated the whole time to remember everything.
  • Sakura: Glaring at Ino and doing her best at following instructions.
  • Sai: Follows all the instructions, including those for women.
  • Ino: Glaring at Sakura and doing her best at following instructions.
  • Shikamaru: Sleeps and snores.
  • Temari: Tries to pay attention, but later falls asleep, too.
one who can only find his way by moonlight

for @nurseyweek, day 6: dreamer

The first time it happens, Derek is seven years old and having a nightmare.

He’s dreaming of the counselor his parents had made him see after the divorce, the mean one, the one who had pushed and pushed and pushed him to talk even after he’d started to cry and said he didn’t want to. He’s pushing in the dream, too, and finally, Derek, in his dream, thinks, with all of his might, I want my mom.

And then he’s not in his dream anymore. He’s somewhere else.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Maybe I find weirdness in everything now but the ig thing was hours ago. It's not even 6am rn in London and she decides to engage fans again? And of course it's another larrie? Idk I just don't get it. And all of this the day his brother announces a single. Feels like they are pushing a non Larry message on this day... I just don't see the point of her engaging the fans once again, putting more attention on the subject again, hours after happening. I don't get it

It’s kinda funny timing, but who knows what anything means. Gemma goes off on Larries at least once a year, so I’m not surprised by this at all. I just find it funny because while I’m the first to tell you that some Twitter and Instagram Larries are annoying as fuck, Larries as a general group (which includes a lot of people who don’t do the really annoying stuff) are also the ones who tend to get the most accomplished in this fandom - we tend to be leading projects for the boys, we tend to be leading charity efforts for the boys, and so on. So I always find it quite entertaining that we’re continually trashed as an entire group in really rude and abelist ways every time somebody decides to be a dick on social media.

anonymous asked:

Prompt: jealous jousef

“Too loud in there?” Yousef’s voice had a soft, understanding tone, yet he still managed to catch Sana off guard, making her nearly flinch. She put down her glass of water - that she had presented as an excuse to escape the room where her friends and her brother’s friends we’re loudly enjoying themselves at the very moment - and looked up at Yousef.

The boy was standing at the doorway of Eva’s kitchen, leaning on the doorway in a seemingly careless manner; his eyes bright with a smile that curved slightly more to the right and which was a detail that Sana most definitely shouldn’t be paying attention. She shook her head at her own silly thoughts, and it took her a while to remember that he was actually expecting a response. Sana let the silence continue for a few more seconds, attempting to find the right words, while Yousef stared at her with a question in his eyes.

“No, I just… Needed some water,” Sana lied and nearly jumped when she heard Eva’s alcohol-infused laughter chime from the livingroom. “And yeah… It’s loud. It’s often like this, being the only sober person.”

Yousef looked understanding, and he took a few steps closer and grabbed a glass from above the sink. “Yeah, I bet. Do you ever get a feeling like you wanna do it too? Get drunk and loud and fucking annoying?”

Sana laughed at the way he said the words - his tone was strange, and she couldn’t quite figure out if he was serious or just joking. She shrugged, drawing incoherent patterns on the outside of her wrist. “Doesn’t everybody?”

“I guess,” Yousef said with a careless shrug. In the livingroom, they could hear Chris and Vilde laughing loudly at something, quickly joined by the guys. “The girls seem to be having fun.”

Sana nodded and said: “Yeah, the girls are excited. They really like the guys - I think Mikael and Adam are particularly popular, since they’re single and all.”

There was something in Yousef’s eyes when she said it: for a fleeting second the joyful glimmer was gone, and for a moment it was disappointment that was so visible in his expression - like a little kid robbed of his candy.

There was a silence of about ten seconds between them, during which Yousef looked like he was building some courage to say something. After a while, he huffed his breath out in a loud manner and asked: “Do you like them?”

“Like who?” Sana asked.

“The guys - I mean… I saw you talking to Adam tonight and before and I just - I don’t know. He seemed pretty excited about you,” Yousef explained, his voice suddenly quieter. It was like he was trying to examine Sana’s expression when he talked, clearly looking for a reaction. Testing the waters.

The truth is, Sana had noticed Yousef looking at her earlier in the evening, when Adam had come up and talked to her. He had stood at the other side of the livingroom, talking with Mikael, but his eyes had kept slipping on Sana and to the back of Adam’s head. And each time his gaze glided over the two of them, his expression had sunken with a shadow of irritation, but every time the expression had disappeared in a few seconds - but Sana noticed. She noticed even the little things with Yousef, even when she really didn’t want to.

“Oh, yeah. He’s pretty nice,” Sana said, examining the patterns on the wooden floors below their feet. She could feel the boy’s eyes on her, but she didn’t have the courage to actually look up to him and meet his gaze.

“Okay.” Yousef’s gaze was burning her, but she didn’t look up.

Back Off ♡ Jay Park

Originally posted by mvssmedia

warnings: swearing, slight dirty talk{not a smut}

ps: i was trying way to hard to be funny so dont mind me


“Baby, you gotta wake up before we’re late.. for the millionth time,” Jay exaggerated while shaking me by my waist. 

“I was never the reason why we were late for any occasion. The only reason why we’re ever late is because you can’t take your eyes off of a damn mirror, spray 10 more pounds of cologne, take hour shits, and–” 

“Okay, I get it. Now would you get your lazy ass up, and get ready? We’re meeting AOMG and most of my friends at the club,” Jay sighed.

I wasn’t getting up early, and Jay knew that which is why he made it his goal to try his best, and wake up his lazy ass girlfriend who he loved so much yet wanted to just throw her into a pool and move away to another country so he won’t get murdered by his feisty girlfriend. 

I put my palm against his face, and pushed him away from mine while closing my eyes and regaining my beauty sleep. “Please baby, just get up,” Jay exasperated while putting his face into my neck and plastering little kisses that he knew were my weakness. 

“Give me a minute, baby,” I yawned.

“You like opening your mouth wide open, don’t you?” Jay smirked. Trust your own boyfriend to turn every innocent thing into something naughty. 

I giggled before rolling around and leaning in trying to give him a kiss on the lips. To my surprise, he moved his head real quick before pointing a finger to bathroom and saying, “Toothbrush.” 

Asshole.

Keep reading

NCT127 Reaction: His S/O’s older brother is constantly picking on them

Anon said: “hey since you are accepting requests right now.. i was wondering, how do you think NCT 127 would react to their S/O’s older brother constantly picking on them, pointing out their flaws, you know..older brother stuff lmao. im currently going through this with my older brother so i was wondering how they’d react. thank you for reading this very ling ask lol“

A/N: Ignore the captions for the gifs, I know Taeil’s is pretty weird lmao


Taeyong: *eyes your brother once in a while hoping he would stop before he makes him get up and warn him personally*

Originally posted by jonqins

Taeil: “Don’t listen to him he’s just trying to annoy you”

Originally posted by nakamotens

Johnny: “So what if your cheeks are chubby? I love them, I find them very adorable”

Originally posted by 12fools

Yuta: “It’s stuff older brothers like to do, I’ll talk to him if it will help”

Originally posted by nakamotens

Doyoung: *very protective of you* “You’re her brother you shouldn’t be hurting her, you should be keeping her safe”

Originally posted by dovounq

Jaehyun: *does anything to try to cheer you up, including buying you stuff”

Originally posted by yoonohthings

Winwin: “Maybe he’s jealous that you’re the good looking sibling” *innocent*

Originally posted by neotechs

Mark: “Cheer up jagi, I’m sure he’ll stop soon”

Originally posted by littlechloverstar

Haechan: “Don’t worry jagi I’m already thinking of which prank he deserves the best”

Originally posted by neotechs


REQUEST BOX IS CLOSED.

*Miri*

Fraywood things :

Clary : i know we don’t always see eye to eye on things-
Alec : that’s because you’re too short


Jace : well you can’t always be so negative about things; when life gives you lemons-

Alec : You throw them at Clary 


Alec : *resting his hand over Clary’s head, making her an armrest*


Alec : On Wednesdays we wear black

Alec : And Thursdays

Alec : ….

Alec : And every other day

Alec : You can’t sit with us Clary


Everytime someone insulted Alec, Clary would storm forward to attack that person with all she has. Alec would hold her back, telling it’s okay. If the same person ever did the same to Izzy or Jace, he would slowly let her go while whispering, “MAKE IT HURT!”


Jace : whats wrong br0?

Alec : I’m having a serious headache and stomach upset that comes and goes

Clary : *enters*

Izzy : *enters* I made dinner today

Alec : oh look, both of them are back


When Alec and Clary slay demons together, both of them initiate high 5, but for the person Alec is, raises his hand at a height that is almost impossible to reach, but since Clary never gives up, she keeps jumping, something she holds Alec’s hand using it as a lever. Sometimes she also brings a chair so that she could climb up, sometimes jace lifts her by the waist, simon rambles his nerdy jokes, magnus distracts him and izzy tickles him, finally when Alec’s hand gets tired he lowers it and Clary finally is able to do the high 5 and then she jumps in triumph.


Whenever there is a movie night at the Institute or Simon’s concert, clary always climbs and sits on Alec’s shoulders whether he likes it or not because she can’t see it from the back and he is the tallest.


Clary : *takes a picture with alec and prepares to upload it on instagram with the tag* #hangingoutwithcoolpeople #demonhuntingsquad #bestfriendsforever

Alec : *rolling eyes* Jace, what is this red thing still doing here???



Alec : I’m starving, i’m off to Subway, you guys want anything?

Izzy, Jace, Simon, Magnus, Luke : Uh yeah actually, i would like-

Clary : *who was until before busy with her drawing* a smoothie, some cheese sandwiches, some french fries, garlic bread sticks, a chicken patty and coke, yeah that’s all.

Alec : Yeah, i got like eleven bucks?!?!


While Clary is sketching, Alec always finds a way to annoy her and his very famous tactic is snatching away her sketchbook usually when she is engrossed with her drawing. He raises her sketchbook thinking she can’t reach, but Clary works her way by hitting him in the stomach. Due to this, he curls down, holding his stomach and in the mean time Clary snatches her sketchbook, snaps her fingers and walks away.

Clary and Alec watching sports tournaments together and scowling at their favorite team players like they’re gonna actually hear them from the other side of the screen, the one whose favorite team wins, has to make the other watch their fav movie together even if they don’t like it. There is popcorn and soft drinks and moral support to each other when their favorite character dies or there is a sad ending.

So some years ago when they still existed I was working at a video store. This mom comes in, typical white lady soccer mom with two kids probably 7-8 years old. We’re a small store, I’m the only one at the counter/on the floor and my supervisor is in the back office doing paperwork and stuff. So I give her my typical “If I can help you find anything let me know.” with a smile and go back to checking in the returns.

I’m kind of keeping an eye on her because her kids are running around and being really loud while she browses our family movies section, and she finally comes back to the counter with a few movies in hand and complains at me “There was no on on the floor to help me so I guess I’ll have to ask you what your thoughts on these are.” in that annoyed soccer mom voice. I didn’t bother to try and tell her that I had already offered my help if she needed it because I could tell it was pointless. I gave her my impressions of the movies because I had, in fact, seen them all and liked them all.

The next day I’m working again and this lady comes back alone. She sets down The Golden Compass and demanded a refund. I asked her why, because that’s our policy, and she promptly stated that the movie was not in fact appropriate or her boys because it contained ‘demonic fantasy elements’ and violence and whatnot. It’s a PG-13 movie, and if you’ve ever seen the cover of that movie or read the back or anything then it’s super obvious that it has fantasy elements.

I told her, as kindly as I could, that I could not give her a refund. We offered refunds on 3 conditions - the wrong movie was in the case, there’s no movie in the case, or the movie was damaged/wouldn’t play. She gets angry and promptly asks to speak to my supervisor. Okay fine, I have to go in the back and get my supervisor and tell him what’s going on and he comes back out and tells her the exact same thing. We can’t give her a refund because she disagrees with the contents of a movie, she should have looked it up online or pre-screened the movie herself if she’s so worried about what her kids are watching.

So she asks if he’s the manager. He’s not, he’s just my shift supervisor. She demands to speak to the manager. My supervisor calls our manager because he’s not in the store, and he tells her pretty much word for word the exact same thing. Once that’s done with she throws her hands up in the air and screams that we have bad customer service and she’s never coming back to our store and she’s going to tell everyone she knows not to come to us either.

I found out the next time I worked that she also apparently called our district manager and complained about it, but the district manager spoke to my manager and supervisor and then to me to ask what had happened and we all had consistent stories so we got praised for not giving in to a pushy customer. 

And we never did see her again for the remainder of the time I worked there, which was until the store closed a few months later. So at least she kept her word I guess?

stellagibsonisalifeforce  asked:

MSR Prompt: "With how long we've known each other, I just don't understand why you'd think I would say yes to that." "Well, hope springs eternal. Isn't that what they say?"

Oh god, I’ve had this prompt in my inbox forever, I’m so sorry for the delay!

Hope Springs Eternal

“Where are you going?”

Scully paused in the midst of buttoning up her shirt, turning to look across the bedroom at her partner in the bed. She was hoping to be up and out before he woke, but it wasn’t meant to be. “Out.”

“Where?”

“Just to the mall. I won’t be long.”

“The mall?” Yawning, Mulder sat up in the bed, the comforter pooling at his bare waist. “What’s the occasion? Your mom’s birthday?”

“Not for another six months.”

“My birthday?” Scully gave him her best “I am not amused” look. “Well it’s not your birthday, is it?”

“It’s nobody’s birthday today Mulder, at least that I know of. I just need to pop to the mall for something.”

“What?”

She sighed. “A dress.”

“A dress? So it is my birthday after all.”

“Go back to sleep Mulder. Those lines only work in your dreams.”

“What do you need a new dress for?”

Shaking her head, Scully quickly finished dressing before she replied, clearly not in the mood for questions. “For a work function on Friday.”

“A work function?”

“Yes, for the hospital.”

“And you’re going?”

“Of course I am Mulder. I want to be there to support my team; it’s recognition for their hard work. And my hard work too,” she added. “It’s nice to be appreciated.”

He ignored the jibe. “Of course,” he replied, not wanting to annoy her further. “It’s just you haven’t mentioned it before, and I’m sure you didn’t get the invitation this morning.”

“I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to go at first.”

“So you’re leaving me all on my own?” he asked, his lips forming a mock pout.

Seeing right through his act, Scully laughed. “It won’t be the first time. Besides, I’m sure you’ll find something to do to pass the time while I’m away.” She stared at her partner, as though sizing him up. “You could come with me.”

“What?”

“The invite says plus one. You don’t have any plans for Friday. You could be my plus one.”

“Scully.” Mulder shook his head. “With how long we’ve known each other, I just don’t understand why you’d think I would say yes to that.”

His words came as no surprise to her, and she gave him a sad smile. “Well, hope springs eternal, isn’t that what they say?”

“You know I don’t play nice with other people.”

“Oh I’m well aware of that. Just remember we had this conversation on Friday when you’re complaining that I’m going without you.” Grabbing her jacket, Scully then scanned the room for her purse.

Mulder frowned. “You’re going now?”

She nodded.

“It’s early.”

“I want to beat the crowds.”

“Come back to bed.”

“Mulder.”

“Come back to bed and we can go to the mall later.”

“Uh uh, I’m not falling for that again. You hate driving around that car park. The last time you almost got into a fist fight when that other guy beat you to a parking space.”

“He stole my parking space Scully, he deserved what was coming to him.”

“And that attitude is the reason why you’re not going to drive me to the mall today.” Locating her purse, Scully then approached the bed. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon and then we can go to lunch.”

“Or you could join me in bed.”

“A late morning nap?”

“I wasn’t thinking of napping.”

“Go back to sleep,” repeated Scully with a smirk, then headed towards the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

Xxxxx

Scully descended the stairs, fixing her earring as she went. As she entered the living room her eyes caught sight of the television clock and she sighed. “Mulder!” she called out, addressing her partner who was shut up in his study. He’d been in there for most of the afternoon, save for a brief moment when he popped upstairs to take a shower. Scully had no idea what he was up to, but by now she knew that sometimes it was best not to ask. “I’m heading off now.”

Grabbing her keys and purse from the table, Scully smoothed down her new dress, a sleeveless navy number, which offered just a glimpse of flesh but was conservative enough to wear or a work function. She edged closer to the door of her partner’s study. “Did you hear me? I’m going now. I shouldn’t be too late, but don’t wait up…” She trailed off as the door suddenly opened. “Mulder?”

Her mouth dropped open as she took in his appearance. Mulder stood before her, looking decidedly uncomfortable in his new black morning suit, pulling awkwardly at his tie. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him looking this spruced up. “What are you doing?”

“I’m ready.”

“You’re ready? For what?”

“To be your plus one.”

“My…?”

“You did say I could be your plus one, didn’t you?”

“Well yes but…I didn’t think you wanted to go?”

“I changed my mind.”

“You…why?”

Mulder’s smile faltered ever so slightly. “Because I want to spend some time with you. I want to meet your colleagues and find out more about your work. I know tonight is important for you, which means it’s important to me too.” He smirked. “And I want to tell anyone who’s making eyes at you tonight, which they will do with you wearing that dress, that you’re taken, and that they can back off.”

Scully smiled, relaxing as she stepped in closer towards him, reaching up to straighten his tie “Thank you,” she whispered, her smile alone telling Mulder that he’d made the right decision. She kissed him chastely.

“Besides, I figured if I do this for you, you can do something for me later.”

“Keep dreaming Mulder.”

“Well,” he replied, as Scully quickly wiped away remnants of her lipstick from his mouth. “Hope springs eternal, isn’t that what they say?”

Daddy issues

What happens when you can’t pay for your 5 doughnuts and one hot chocolate order, because you forgot your wallet at home? You find yourself a sugar daddy. Or that’s what happened to a grumpy Min Yoongi.

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Jeon JungKook | ft. Kim NamJoon

Word count: 4977

Warnings: Maybe swearing and future smut

A/N: Another fic that was originally posted on AO3. I plan on finishing it over here because I really love the idea and in all honesty, I think it’s my favorite that I’ve written. Also in here JungKook is older than Yoongi. Hope you’ll enjoy!

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

“One hot chocolate. Three doughnuts. One chocolate pretzel…hmmm…and…huh…you know, make it 5 chocolate and cherry doughnuts…” Yoongi said to the cashier dressed in a rumpled bright green uniform with a mustard yellow shirt underneath. She had a small name tag attached with a safety pin that said “Mindy”. He felt kind of bad for her, but at the same time he didn’t have much time to meditate over the thought, because guilt was creeping into his mind, thinking about what he just bought.

“Crap! I’ll regret this later…for sure I’ll end up a closet with four doors…shit! I don’t fucking care for now, actually. This is for later!” he said to himself, trying to avoid the unavoidable confrontation with the cold truth. He was binge eating. Again.

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love is coal | the missing pieces

or, an entirely un-necessary  companion in Hobi’s perspective to “the constant changing state of us.” perhaps read that first.

HOSEOK / J-HOPE / HOBI | BTS
3,006 words | A TRIFECTA (comedy/drama/romance)
featuring bff yoongi
warnings for language

in case u wanted more dialogue idk sorry guys

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Hoseok blinks at Yoongi, the cogs in his head unmoving.

“But she hates me,” he finally says after a long silence.

Yoongi sighs. “No, she doesn’t hate you. I think she thinks she does, but I know she doesn’t. She hates that stupid shit from high school and she holds a grudge like no one else. If she hated you, she’d never even do me the favor of being in your presence when I want to hang out with both of you.”

“She told me my laugh sounds like two pieces of styrofoam squeaking against one another.”

The simile makes Yoongi laugh and roll his eyes. “She’s dramatic.”

“She should have majored in theatre instead of business,” Hoseok responds dryly. “If she doesn’t hate me, I’ll eat my hat.”

“Well, let it be one of your bucket hats, then, you’ve got too many of those.”

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stupideffinbee  asked:

5, 6, 12, 21, 34 and 35

5 - 2017 David over 1993, but I wouldn’t mind finding a disheveled1993 Mulder in a bar somewhere alone.

6 - 2017 Gillian because that shit just keeps getting better in every way

12 - (Reyes or Doggett?)  Neither

21 - Spender or Krycek? - Spender was kind of a fun antagonist

34 - Clean-shaven Mulder over scruffy for sure.  I’m with Scully on scratchy beards.

35 - MSR sexy headcanons.  

Well, I think Scully sleeps in t-shirts and nothing else often.  I think she likes to talk dirtier than you’d expect from a Catholic girl, or maybe exactly as dirty as that.  I think the trust they have enables them to be playful and honest and therefore happy in the bedroom and every other room of the house.  I think Scully finds it kind of annoying when he gets in the shower with her, because it’s mostly difficult to do anything in there, although once or twice that’s led to something worthwhile.  I think Mulder calls her silly things like baby and sweetie and tiger when they make love.  I think Scully hates it when Mulder calls it making love because she protects herself and acts harder than she is.  I think they’ve both cried during sex.  I think the first time they figured out how to come together, they laughed while doing so.  I think they mostly turn that side of themselves off when they’re at work together but on occasion have locked the door to that office and someone’s wound up on their knees.  I think, at some point, Scully’s had sex with a steering wheel poking into her back.  I think they know what it is to rub up against rough motel sheets all over the country.  I think he’s always gentle with her unless she gives him cues to pull her hair or grab her harder, and he secretly thinks of it like baseball, knows those cues like a catcher behind home plate.  I think they like sinks and counters and anything that makes the height difference more bearable.  I think when Scully’s too tired to fully engage, Mulder will offer a slow, generous, experienced finger and kisses on the neck to bring her to orgasm so that she’ll sleep better.  I think she hates his beard and he hates nothing about her except occasionally her haughty attitude and mostly that turns him on too.  I think they give each other massages, often platonically, but then sometimes Scully takes her shirt off quietly so that he suddenly feels her skin when she leans over to dig into his shoulders.  I think Mulder’s favorite thing is when he gets to undress her after work and Scully resists it because she’d rather wash up first.  I think Scully’s favorite position is on top, at the edge of a bed, and Mulder’s favorite position is anywhere she wants.  I think like anyone, there have been times things interfered with their sex life and that has been devastating, a loss of oxygen in their relationship.  I think they remedy that problem as quickly as possible because they both know they can’t live without each other.  I think they love even more fiercely, unabashedly and sweatily than they did when they were young.

Also, there’s a bunch of fic.  

I Can’t Help Falling In Love

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader
Word count: 1,919
Warnings: Fluff. A dab of angst in the middle.
Request: ( Anonymous ) May I request an oneshot of Lucifer overhearing the reader playing the piano in the bunker (just pretend there’s one there even if there isn’t one) and singing a love song and realizing he’s in love with her but not sure how to tell her so because she’s a Winchester and a hunter and doesn’t realize that the love song she’s singing is about her feelings for him? Sorry if that sounds dumb.

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archiveofourown.org
Bloomtale - Chapter 14 - Kaitogirl - Undertale (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapter 14 is up!!! And today, March 20, is supposed to be Athela’s birthday!! I will soon draw something, I promise ;v;


For those who can’t access AO3 or just don’t want to do it, the chapter is pasted under this sexy cut!!!

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4

Dylan x Reader

Requested By Anon


You screamed as someone shot at you and out of nowhere another person gripped you by the waist and dragged you out of the line of fire. He smiled and tried to keep you calm despite the large gun in his hands.

 

“Hey listen I’m not going to hurt you, my names Dylan.” He said quickly.

 

“(Y/N).” You mumbled.

“Right, (Y/N) do you know what you found?” He asked, swallowing nervously when you nodded. “You’re going to need to run that way until you hit the road and then skip town as soon as you can.”



“But I!” You objected but he shook his head.

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Duality part 3 (J-Hope smut/angst)

Summary: You treasured your friendship with Hoseok, until a drunken mistake changed everything.

Originally posted by lesbianvmin

Part one Part two Part four Part five

Word count: 2.8k

Genre: Smut/angst


“Come on guys, please pay attention,” you begged.

You couldn’t understand a word that the boys were saying because they were all talking over each other and howling with laughter. You and Hoseok had been trying to show Jin the simplest of moves, but he just couldn’t get it right. After five demonstrations, he was still doing something entirely different with his body, so the other members had turned on him. They now were surrounding him like a pack of hyenas and taking it in turns to demonstrate exaggerated versions of his awkward movements. Even Hoseok, who was supposed to be helping you teach them the new choreography, had ditched you and was joining in with the riot. You stood alone at the front of the room, helplessly observing the madness. Jin was at the center of it all, bright red, his face creased as he struggled to breathe from laughing.

“I feel like a zookeeper,” you yelled, but no one heard.

You walked over to the speaker and turned off the music.

“Go for your lunchbreak,” you shouted. The members’ selective hearing conveniently kicked in and they all turned to thank you for your hard work before heading out of the door, still chuckling and mocking Jin. Only Hoseok stayed. He walked over to you and picked his jacket off the floor.

“I hate working with you guys,” you grumbled.

“Well we love working with you,” he said, then pinched your nose. You playfully slapped him away.

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