which was a fail

The History of Tumblr

Okay, so let’s get this out of the way first. Nobody knows when Tumblr was first invented. Don’t ask me why, just nobody ever bothered to record that it seems. Tumblr wasn’t invented by David Karp. Karp just happened to be some hapless twenty something that became irrevocably attached to it at some point in time. For the longest time, Karp was the only staff member at Tumblr HQ where he was commanded by what he described as a “formless and faceless entity” to do a number of trivial programming tasks in order to maintain the site which, in its earliest known form, was a social Networking website for priests but was actually primarily used by the Russian Mafia in order to deal drugs.

The Russian Mafia became more involved in the inner workings of the website, demanding that Karp - who, at the time, regularly dressed like this:

make major changes to the website in order for it to be more encrypted. Karp, lacking the coding prowess to do this, and perhaps intimidated by the formless and faceless entity that shouted orders at him, in a voice that was both oddly alien but uncomfortably familiar, from the dirty, unused, rat-infested bedroom of Tumblr HQ, which Karp began living at full time, completely failed to do this which lead to the Russian Mafia unleashing a costly, unceasing DDOS attack on the website for two years. During this time David Karp, believing he had escaped the formless and faceless entity that lived in the unused bedroom in Tumblr HQ, began to travel the world and thought that he might settle down with a pretty Scandinavian lady named Gennifer. This would not be, as Karp was still at Tumblr HQ but hallucinating the entirety of his freedom.

After the DDOS - which in reality was miserable failure - ended, the formless and faceless entity that lived in the unused bedroom in Tumblr HQ, attacked Karp, putting him into a deep coma, a state in which he still remains to this day.

It was during this time that Tumblr purchased Yahoo. That’s right TUMBLR purchased YAHOO. Tumblr, now free of any governing force, to the extent that Karp could be considered a governing force, began to run itself autonomously - perhaps due to its nature of being a sort of extension of the formless and faceless entity that lived in the unused bedroom in Tumblr HQ - an HQ, mind you, that is located in the basement of an abandoned Sheetz. Visiting this Sheetz, which some Tumblrinas wish to do, is highly unrecommended. This Tumblr Sheetz is superficially like any other Sheetz, it doesn’t even appear to be abandoned even though it actually is. Going to this seemingly normal Sheetz, located where one would expect the ritzy Silicon Valley offices of Tumblr HQ to be, is an incredibly bad idea. It’s not because of the “employees” that inhabit it and act much like you would expect employees of Sheetz to act. It’s also not because of the digital menus they provided there where you can customize any meal to your heart’s content and is very much like your regular Sheetz’s menu, though perhaps a bit more diverse. No, it’s because of the overwhelming urge you, as a Tumblr user yourself, may get to travel into that basement where, penetrating the space between the surface and subsurface of the building, you’ll the notice the building has been entirely abandoned with the exception of the basement where you’ll see the faint Tumblr Blue glow emanating from deep within. And you’ll be drawn ever closer to the source of that light to meet Tumblr Staff. The same staff, mind you, that never does their job or out right maligns their userbase. You’ll want to meet them, perhaps shake hands with the tie belt guy, and you’ll meet them. You’ll walk into that dirty, unused, rat-infested bedroom and you’ll never come back out again.

youtube

Chopin - Scherzo no.1, op.20

Going through some old time Romantic favorites on my iPod, I came across Chopin’s Scherzi which I neglect too often. The first has been a personal favorite since high school. While the scherzo was a “musical joke” genre, Beethoven had elevated it to dramatic heights in his symphonies, and Chopin played off of that by writing scherzi that were no laughing matter. This first one, written soon after the November Uprising, the failed Polish revolt against Russian rule, which had caused enough political unrest that Chopin’s friends convinced him to leave the country. He would never return to Poland for the rest of his life. Like the stormy quality of his etudes [written around the same time], this work opens with fire and drama, rushing along in complexity until we get a break with a softer middle section that quotes a traditional Polish Christmas song, “Lulajże Jezuniu”. After a few repetitions, we are thrown back into the maelstrom, that ends with an intense coda, that includes a brilliant upward chromatic scale that spans four octaves [which legendary pianist Vladimir Horowitz embellishes in octaves, you can listen to that performance here]. Chopin’s four scherzi had influenced other “ironic” scherzi from later composers, notably those by Brahms.

at the end of the story
i felt like i had just finished
and paid for
an expensive hour
of analysis
with a suicidal therapist
who was waiting for me
to say something
interesting enough
to save him
from himself

at the end of every
story i felt
i had failed

which was exactly
the point of every
word he wrote

until he got
so exhausted
he killed himself

reading it always feels
more like an infliction
than anything shared
or given

but perhaps dull
mirrors are meant
to leave one with
that impression

for a reason
hidden

because other-
wise
you will not
look

hot take: hamilton and 1776 each have their political strengths and weaknesses but they share the same crucial flaw as historical commentaries which is that they both fail to adequately indict jefferson for his moral hypocrisy. which is why, in my upcoming musical on the 1786 constitutional convention,

centurosplaneswalker  asked:

Are there any details on who the Viziers are? Did they sign up to grow "old" and not achieve a glorious afterlife? Is it an instance of "those who cannot do, teach"? If so, how would they have found out that they aren't suited for the trials without failing - which generally means death?

It’s different for some, but in general the Viziers are called to their positions during the Day of Harvest, which is basically a sorting hat ceremony for the people of Amonkhet.

ship whatever you want, as long as it’s not real

Whispers to the side that means fictional people, not real ones.

don’t ship real people

No, this doesn’t mean stop thinking two people would be cute together, that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about creepy fangirls (and boys) who treat them like they’re fictional characters, that are there purely for their enjoyment, and like they don’t have feelings.
I’m talking about people who got mad at Markiplier when he said he was straight, because that didn’t fit their “headcanon” and “ruined” sceptiplier.
I’m talking about people who harass the significant others of celebrities and YT celebrities, because they’re “supposed to be with this other person!!”, and their significant other “gets in the way of that”.
I’m talking about the kind of people who sent Mikey Way from MCR fanfiction of him and his brother fucking.

Stop shipping real people, stop “headcanoning” them, stop treating them like fictional characters. It’s disrespectful, and fucking creepy.

They’re real people with feelings, and your actions can affect and hurt them, unlike fictional characters.

6

Going to the theme park together!!
I love this happy family so much 

Not everything works out the first time. That’s okay. Growth means attempting new challenges, many of which we will fall short of. We can see it as failing, or we can see it as practice. We can retreat into ourselves, or we can take what we’ve learned and move forward. Failure or practice. It all comes down to how you look at things. Your mindset is your destiny. It’s all up to you.

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

Talks Machina Highlights - Episode 102
  • Pre-show picture: Travis photoshopped into an Eagles uniform
  • Matt’s birthday is on Thursday! Brian gives him a thoroughly mangled cake.
  • No TM next Tuesday, because it’s the 4th of July.
  • Matt: “Look, I have half the internet wanting to fight me after that episode.”
  • Matt had three or four more battlemaps prepped that will never see the light of day, including two that were in the tower that they knocked down; there were a lot more challenges that the party completely overcame by bringing the top of the tower down to them.
  • “Your imaginary boyfriend was killed by your real-life fiancé.”
  • Keyleth knows it’ll take some time to prep for Vecna, so right now she is entirely focused on Vax.
  • Matt: “The book we’re releasing after the campaign guide is The Man-Ass of Tal’Dorei.” Travis: “There’s a fold-out calendar.”
  • Travis thought the Earthquake spells were just gonna weaken the structure of the tower, and then they’d still have to climb it… “What caused the TPK? Our own hubris.”
  • Travis’s GTFO-alarm went off at the very first turn of the first round when five members of the party were paralyzed. Marisha knew that Keyleth’s wisdom was high enough to shake it off, but she quickly realized that everyone else would need to roll a natural 20.
  • VM would’ve had a chance to stop Vecna’s ritual. Once Delilah saw them and knew the threat, she escalated the timeline. On the other hand, if they’d taken too much time, they would’ve come back through the orb to the Shadowfell and just found a giant crater with no clues as to where to go. Matt emphasizes that things will happen regardless of where they are in this arc, whereas the Conclave arc had the baddies settling more on their laurels and VM had a little more leeway to plot and scheme.
  • Matt points out that almost no DMs ever get to run an epic-level game, especially since 5e is still relatively new. Travis: “We’re gonna peter out and start gradually leaving the game.” Matt: “I will run you over, Travis.”
  • Marisha talks about how Keyleth has started going into very competent crisis-mode in the moment, but she’s very freaked out at the prospect that Foresight may have given Vax a vision of his own death (which is essentially what that failed first Disintegrate amounted to), and after putting him through that, she doesn’t think Keyleth will use it again.
  • Travis: “There’s a whole line of vacuum-cleaners called Vax.” Brian: “That’s fucked up.”
  • Vecna’s a keeper of secrets and knowledge; he knows everything about VM. He immediately targeted those who had range and mobility.
  • Keyleth had mixed feelings in the past about True Resurrection, just because of the moral implications of wielding that sort of power, but now things have changed. (Matt mentions that Pike may have leveled and might have access to it as well.)
  • Brian points out that you can have those standards and principles, but everything goes out the window when it hits close to home.
  • Keyleth is also concerned about how the Raven Queen’s influence is going to come into play; Vax could be standing right in front of her, and she’d still feel like it was borrowed time.
  • True Resurrection bypasses Matt’s resurrection ritual completely. It does require 25,000 gold in diamonds, however…
  • Grog is feeling better about Scanlan being back after seeing him in action again.
  • If everyone had died and Pike was the last one standing, she was gonna ask the knight to send her to Grog so they could at least go out in a blaze of glory together.

MS-DOS Machina in the Dark:

  • Marisha wins the roll for hosting!
  • After a rough episode, Marisha paces around the living room for half an hour. Travis and Ashley are advocates for avoiding the internet and going straight to bed.
  • Ashley thinks Matt does the best Pike impression.
  • Marisha’s “Sleeves are Bullshit” shirt was a gift from Laura.
  • Matt: “Whenever I see a mansplaining comment on the internet, it just goes through a Papyrus filter in my mind. ‘Well, actually…’”
Between Us And Infinity

Originally posted by theseoks

Genre: Angst/fluff || soulmate!au / street performer!tae

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Length: 35.7k

Summary: Place two strangers together and give them seven days to fall in love, and they will be soulmates for the rest of eternity, otherwise, neither of the two will come to love anyone ever again; The Seven Days Countdown has always been an old wives tale to you and nothing more, but all of that changes once you meet Kim Taehyung in the midst of a crowd of thousands. From then on, your life is thrown into a race against time, not only on a mission to beat the clock in falling in love with the renowned heartthrob, but also on a quest to make him fall in love with you.

Keep reading

Ink and Kisses

Anon said to moi:

“Omg i want a tattoo artist jungkook!!!!!! 😭😩 smut/fluff/and honestly anything!!!! I just love tattoos artists jungkook but there aren’t alot of those fanfic…. can u help a poor girl out ??💖”

FIRst time trying a Tattoo artist AU. I had to do some reading before this, and JK is sO sexy i s2g. Still weird that I don’t really ever feel like doing the do with him. HOPE YOU ENJOY <3 1,400 Words

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Tattooist au!

Part 1 | Part 2 (FINAL)

Originally posted by nnochu

No one would have ever imagined that hardcore badass Jeon Jungkook, the most well-known tattoo artist in the town, the guy who dropped out to follow his passion, was best friends with beautiful, sweet, top-scoring university student, Y/N. 

Physically, they seemed to be polar opposites. He had dragons inked onto his skin, three piercings on his left ear and two on his right, and always wore black; whilst you were a bright, clean slate – but you knew that was what he loved about you.

Keep reading

3

If you can’t protect Iris, Joe has no use for you

Chapter 50 Eremin Meta/ Theory/Headcanon

So, first, I’ve got to say that I’m really, really, really busy. I’ve got a graduation thesis to finish until next week, so I really can’t do much over here. Btw, I’m so glad Eremin Month and Ex0’s comeback will be after I’m done with that damn thesis, but anyway, let’s get to the topic.

First, I’ve got to say that I didn’t watch the last three or four episodes of Season 2 (I really don’t remember where I stopped, that’s how crazy I am over everything I have to do). In any case, I knew that the chapter 50 episode would come out one of these weeks, and I checked the Eremin tag because, well, I wanted a sneak-peak of how bad it would be. Well, from what I’ve seen, it was bad indeed.

So, I grabbed my volume 12 and went to look again at the scene, just to soothe myself a little (or to scream over how baffling this whole thing is, whichever you prefer), and I noticed something.

Mika.sa starts talking and Ere.n looks at Armi.n, we all know it. But then, Mika.sa says the following:

Ere.n is looking at her, alright? Look how cute this Ere//Mika moment is. We can’t deny that it is touching, though I can’t look at it with shipper eyes. Anyway, then, in the next page, we have this:

I don’t think it’s too clear in this image, but in my printed version is it clear enough to me. I’ll point it out:

Mika.sa says she’s thankful for Eren being with her and she says “Thank you for teaching me how to live”, as you can see above. Then, Ere.n is looking at her, but in the last panel we have here, you can see that he tilts his body AND face towards Ar.min, while Mika.sa’s back is facing Ar.min, which means Ere,n isn’t looking at her. I’m not here to belittle Mika.sa’s and Ere;n’s relationship. What I wanted to say is: Ere.n hears what Mika.sa says and looks at Ar.min. My shipper goggles say it’s not coincidence. Let’s see why:

From what we’ve seen, Isa.yama has emphasized time and time again that it was Ar.min who has shown Ere.n a new perspective of life, and, from there, Ere.n has a goal in life, he’s not living meaninglessly. Ar.min was responsible for that, and it is explicitly said in the manga more than once. I’ll just throw here one of these moments, so people who don’t pay enough attention won’t say I’m delusional (and because I’m never tired of this scene):

So, what does this all mean? Well, after Mika.sa said that Ere.n taught her how to live, he looks at Ar.min. Coincidence? My shipper goggles say no. What I take from this is: Ere.n looks at Ar.min because, in his case, Ar.min is the one he’s thankful for teaching him how to live, and he doesn’t want to lose that. But this is just a theory to make me feel better about that damn anime, my headcanon. If anyone agrees, great; If not, it’s okay, but if you come to throw shit at me, well, I don’t have time to discuss, but if I had, I have an arsenal of receipts to throw at anyone who comes saying eremin isn’t all that.

Hope we can all overcome this and that Isa;yama proves us again, as he always does, how important they are to each other.