Sorry for slightly long post, will not post more long-stuff.
There’s a certain underlying stress that comes from being a media student. A student who spends their days and nights just staring at the media, at Twitter, at Tumblr. Watching the news. Listening to the radio. A stress from already having anxiety about the world as I do. Depression as I do.
In order to get good grades I have to read about people’s suffering - which is kind of dark to think about.
There was a certain light and stress reliever from discovering Writeblr. I looked through thousands of accounts before I made one myself and It rekindled the love for writing that never truly went away. There’s this stress relief that I could write a book and send little segments to friends on here, which would cause me manageable anxiety, unlike unmanageable anxiety if I were to do so in real life to real-life friends.
I came to Writeblr with the hope it was different from the rest of Tumblr, asking myself…
How could writing possibly be anymore depressing than the world I have to remind myself exists around me.
I wanted to escape the fuckery of life and being a media student, only to fall into the worst community for debating in the entirety of the world - fucking Question Time is better than Writeblr. If I wanted bloody screaming at each other and debating I would have rejoined debate club.
I wanted fluffy flowers and inspiration.
I have never felt less inspired and more depressed as I have being in this community, but I stay for my friends and I stay for the hope it’ll become some-what functioning to be in.
I’m hoping if I really distance myself from that stuff that I might be able to pull myself out of these bad depressive bursts I’ve been having and write again. Not become blind to the world or unaware, but just breathe from it for a second.
So: Ignoring you if you’re over-the-top posting or screaming at each other.
And: Posting less spamming-posts and more inspirational flowers. (I will stay away from the internet when I am tired and or on meds as I annoy people.)
Maybe it is mostly just Tumblr that is the worst place for debating, but I am trying to deflect it and the same things on Writeblr. I am just going to talk to people and look for friend’s rather than look at posts on Tumblr, they make me sad.