which is more than i can say for the men

Dear Cis People,

On the topic of “not all cis people”: Prove it. Stop saying “not all men” or “not all white people” and ACTUALLY be an exception!! I as a white person know that we can be shitty. Which is why I go out of my way (with actions, not just words) to prove I’m not a bad white person. If you’re an ally, Prove. It. Don’t whine because your group make US feel unsafe. Actions speak much louder than words ever will. Prove you care about more than being called names. Prove that there are exceptions.

so i’ve seen a lot of posts that ask “why do bi women experience domestic abuse at higher rates than lesbians?” which is a good and fair question. but then these posts add something like: “you can’t say it’s because of men, because that’s victim-blaming.”

i’m a bi woman and i abhor the idea that bi women are to blame for their own abuse. and — not but — i think the reasoning above is dangerous to bi women, and actually, counterintuitively, encourages victim-blaming. let me explain why.

i’ve seen people say that bi women are more likely to be abused because they’re more likely to be with men and that this is their own fault for being stupid enough to date men, which is absolutely disgusting. it’s important to understand, though, what’s going on in rhetoric like this.

the people who say this are NOT just making one claim, but two separate claims — one is a fact claim, and the other is a moral claim.

the fact claim is that bi women are more likely to be in relationships with men, and that this is related to their higher rates of abuse.

the moral claim is that therefore bi women are at fault, that they somehow deserve the abuse they suffer at the hands of men.

by treating these two claims as one inseparable claim, one actually does the victim-blamers’ work for thempeople who blame bi women for their own abuse want you to believe that this blame — the moral claim — follows directly from the fact claim. but the truth is that it doesn’t.

by accepting these claims as one claim and dismissing the fact claim on the basis that it inexorably leads to the moral claim, one suggests that if the fact claim were proven true, bi women actually would be at fault.

i reject this and maintain that no explanation for bi women’s abuse rates would actually imply that they deserve that abuse, and that a serious attempt to reduce bi women’s abuse rates will require considering all the potential factors, while actively opposing any attempt to place blame on victims.

because if it turns out that bi women’s abuse rates are related to their relationships with men, and we ignore this because we’re afraid on some level that it would mean we’re to blame, then we’ll miss opportunities to understand and address that aspect of the problem (i.e. men’s homophobic and misogynistic partner violence) and our intervention will be less effective. this is one way in which our internalization of this victim-blaming narrative can do concrete harm to bi women.

fight victim-blaming; reject the idea that blaming the victim is the natural conclusion of any explanation of bi women’s abuse rates.

C: I think marriage benefits men more than women. I’ve read about men leaving their sick wives or the wife worrying about leaving the kids w/her husband cause he refuses to look after the house. That don’t seem worth it to me. Now if he’s rich and can afford children then I would probably do it otherwise what’s the point lol? I want security and since men are “wired” to be fuckboys then I better get something out of it. Some may say I’m a gold digger which is cool cause it’s true 😂 idgaf.

The Worlds Greatest Detective

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader

Request: Hey there:) can I request something where Bruce comes back from patrol frustrated because the trail he was tracking went cold or something so the reader helps him blow off some steam? Can it be a little smutty please? Thanks;)

Description: After going on a wild goose chase with none other than The Riddler, Bruce returns frustrated and defeated. Y/N attempts to make her lover feel better, but only one thing can make him feel like himself and clear his mind. 

Smut: yep! 

Words: 2266

Requests are open!


Originally posted by writers-square

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Update photo. I am 6 months on T. I haven’t had surgery yet, which sucks. And I’m feeling extremely extremely dysphorics lately. It’s almost scary how much it’s affecting me right now, but I’m trying to stay positive. I know 6 months is a lot more than a lot of other folks can say, I’m just trying to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Peace and love to all of you though 🌺

anonymous asked:

hey! I'm an active tog hater & I recently found ur blog and I have never related more. Ur blog is GOLD I'm telling you. anyway, I've read a bit about this but not very in depth so I was wondering if maybe you could detail the really Bad Bad Bad parts of the whole territorial fae deal?? cause I know it sucks but could you maybe explain why in further depth?? anyway thank you so much for your blog it's a GEM ok goodbye

I might write a better post, but this is everything I can think of right now. It’s about how shitty the fae are in general

  • It’s a super heteronormative culture. The way she writes the fae makes me think you can only be straight. After having sex, the male turns super possesive and can’t stand the idea of his lover around other men. Rowboat literally has to “bit down against the rage” of Alien talking to HER COUSIN. 
  • She says you can have more than one mate, which makes sense, but then she procedes to say Rowboat has only had ONE mate??? (Alien)
  • The mate bond is supposed to be so strong that you can’t fake it, but Maeve tricked Rowboat into thinking he had a mate when she actually wasn’t.
  • When they mate, the female fae cooks for the male fae. Is this the 20s?
  • You can’t hurt your mate but Rowboat punched Alien in the face? And told her he wished she was dead?
  • Bitting is a sexual thing. When Tam*lin did that to Feyr*e it was supposed to be foreshadowing of him being abusive, but Rowboat bit Alien in H*oF and they’re perfectly healthy?
  • The two main ladies give their super male lovers a pass with their possessive attitude because “they can’t help what they are”. Boys will be boys I guess.
  • The male fae are toxic and abusive, but the narrative never punishes them. However, when the female villains are toxic and abusive, they’re the biggest bitches to ever exist.
  • The whole claiming thing. Ugh.
  • There’s classism, since the fae are written in a way we’re supposed to belive they’re better than humans in every way possible. It’s like she forgives the fae for enslaving humans (in AC0TAR), kinda like saying “well, they’re technically better so… It’s natural for humans to be slaves”. 
  • This is a personal pet peeve of mine, but their relationships are too focused on sex, on the physical aspect of relationships. There’s no emotion, only bad written sex with special effects. The romantic relationships are shallow, you can’t feel anything.
  • The narrative makes it look like “territorial fae bullshit” isn’t a bad thing… It’s toxic and awful. The excuse “they aren’t human” isn’t good enough for me. People call Ratalien goals, young readers. That’s a bad thing.

I don’t feel specially eloquent today I might delete this and write a better post. Sorry.

anonymous asked:

Something that pisses me off is how everyone who writes/talks about Eliza seems to be like "oh yeah she wasn't very pretty but..." like omg she went through so much because of her stupid husband and yet was still so loyal to him and did so much good for her family. She was poor the rest of her life but still tried and succeeded in helping people yet you're focusing on the fact that she wasn't as pretty as her spoiled af sister? GAH

It is my personal opinion, of course, that she was gorgeous. But I am okay with what Georgina wrote because she was focusing on better, more important qualities, and basically telling a little girl that it is better to be a good person and do good things than to be beautiful, which is true.

Now, when men say this shit in biographies and make it all about how she wasn’t pretty enough to keep her husband faithful, they can fucking choke.

anonymous asked:

hi hi! no one asked but i feel like i need to try to answer last anon's question abt korean men dating foreign women if thats okay? okay so ive lived in korea for almost 3 years now, and i can say that its much "easier" for korean women to date foreign men than the opposite. what you need to realise is that when a guy dates a girl, unless if he's traveled and is really open minded (which happens more but still not that often), has open minded parents, he's probably not going to want to (1)

have a serious relationship w/ a foreign girl bc no matter how much you’re going to know about the culture etc, if you’ve grown up in the west i think as a woman your freedom matters to you right? guys here sort of want to have a hold over their gf and tell them what to do and they know that its not in our traditions to submit to men. you have to know that that’s really what it is for many women; submission. some of my friends who are married are literally waiting all day/night for their guy when you’re married it’s expected of you to quit your job if you’re a girl) and they come home completely drunk every night, they always order them around, as well as their parents since you’re supposed to take care of the guy’s parents and they’re always popping out at your house and if you dare act like you don’t like it then the mum’s going to let their husband know. that’s why korean women are starting to date foreigners more & more. and now some men are really starting to hate women because of it. so yeah if you’re lucky to find a nice guy that don’t follow all the cultural rules then you could be able to date but not everything’s as perfect as it seems on your computer screen okay girls? ^^ i used to work w the tourism office and theres a reason they’re mostly promoting korea with kpop and kdramas… (4 and ending^^)

you say its only submission for women there, but you miss that that might be the tendencies of their personality anyway. i know I’m certainly someone who works well under guidance and rules. i need someone who is very decisive. people might like the idea of being a house spouse. i agree its very different place to place, but people are very different too, and may prefer one culture over another. either way, i think the general stats for dating are up, due to the new generation.

~ahgase Omma 

mytardisnowspacetravel replied to your post “I despise the term “toxic masculinity” because masculinity isn’t…”

I think toxic masculinity is actually a little more specific than being an asshole.It’s is a type of masculinity (which by itself isn’t actually bad) in which boys are taught that to be a “real man”, they need to be the dominant figure & suppress their emotions. they can’t “act like a girl”(which is derogatory) All these things hurt both men and women. So toxic masculinity isn’t criticizing masculinity itself, it’s the way society teaches boys to men in problematic ways

Yes! Actually, @mytardisnowspacetravel​, several people correctly pointed this out as well but I wanted to explain some things a teeny bit more and responded here about it!


Can we talk about this please? I love this a lot because we all know that Raph likes to be seen as the toughest, the strongest, the all around best fighter, but after Mona Lisa proves that she exceeds Raphael at all these aspects that he revolves himself around he loves her. Raph loves that she’s a badass and never asks her to dull her own abilities so he can feel superior. I feel like many men in our society don’t like when a woman can overwhelm or intimidate him because they believe it’s an insult to their masculinity. But Raphael doesn’t feel that way at all! The fact that Mona is more skilled as a warrior than he is is a major turn on for him. In Mona’s next appearance in the episode, ‘The War for Dimension X’ Raphael says to her, “Looks like you’ve learned some new skills.” To which her reply is, “I’d be happy to teach you some time, one on one.” Raphael then shouts, “I’d love that!” (I went by memory of this scene because I couldn’t take/find good screenshots of this scene.) The point is though, Raphael was excited for Mona to teach him combat and ways to improve. He didn’t even try to stupidly impress her or was an asshole about it. I love their relationship and hope to see much more of them together in the future.

Ayurvedic Advice for a Happy Menstruation

Ayurveda says that bleeding every month gives us a distinct advantage over men, and it’s probably why we live longer than they do. It sounds weird, I know, but that’s because Ayurveda believes that your monthly is much more than a way to shed the ol’ uterine lining.

Think of it as a built-in detox cleanse that you get to do every 25 to 35 days, one in which all the toxins— the sticky, icky stuff Ayurveda calls ama— that have accumulated during the month get a free ride out. These toxins can come from anything your body hasn’t digested— bad food, stress at work or at home, even any emotions you’ve shoved down.

Of course, if you’ve taken good care of yourself all month long, your body should have a pretty easy time self-cleansing. But if you’ve pigged out on junk food, hit the Red Bull a little too hard, functioned with barely any sleep, skipped out on your usual yoga classes, or failed to deal with hurt or angry feelings that cropped up, guess what? It’ll be a drag later on in the month.

Add these if they speak to you!

1. Focus on your breath on Day 1

While you’re taking it easy on the first day of your period, your body is working really hard to move the menstrual blood (and all the toxins it finds) down and out.

You can help it along by focusing on soothing, conscious breaths, with a special emphasis on the exhale.

This type of breathing will encourage what yogis call the apana vayu— the downward-moving wind energy. Apana vayu (a type of prana, or life force) not only governs menstruation and digestion, but it also allows us to let go of what no longer serves us— destructive thoughts or negative emotions.

2. Be selfish

The first day or two should be a time for reflection. This is a perfect opportunity to do a loving-kindness toward yourself, your family, and your friends. It can really help dislodge you from the poor-me attitude your cycle has unleashed.

Focusing on your basic goodness— after all, you’re beautiful just the way you are— turn it inward and then toward the people you love (even if you’re not feeling all that loving toward them right now!).

Here’s how:

Sit down comfortably either on a cushion or in a chair. Close your eyes and allow your breath to find its natural rhythm. And then turn your attention to the area around your heart.

Breathing in and out of your heart space, repeat the following several times to yourself:

Loving-Kindness Meditation:

May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be free from harm.

And now visualize someone in your family, and repeat

May s/ he be happy,
May s/ he be healthy,
May s/ he be free from harm.

Repeat the same meditation/ prayer with one of your close friends in your heart.

3. Give yourself an Ayurvedic massage

Begin your massage with a loving attitude— toward your body and your mind— and focus your awareness on the task at hand.

Warm some sesame, almond, or coconut oil and massage a thin coating over your whole body.

Use long strokes on your arms and legs— moving from the tips of the toes and fingers in toward the body— and circular movements on your joints.

Let the oil soak in and then shower in warm water. No need for soap. If you want to feel even more luxurious and rejuvenated, massage some of the warm oil into your scalp, onto your forehead and temples, and the soles of your feet just before bed. Throw on a pair of cotton socks and call it a night.

via Yoga for a Healthy Menstrual Cycle

want to eat in tune with your menstrual cycle? follow yourcycleyourfood

ok i need to get this out because i’ve been stewing on it for the best part of an hour and, as a writer, the only way i’m going to get over it is if i write it down

this episode hit me so hard for a number of reasons, but none more than this: robert sugden has been repressing his sexuality for the best part of fifteen years, had done everything he could to reject the side of him which liked men as well as women. 

he was beaten by his father at the age of fifteen, only a year after his mother had died, and all because he wanted to kiss a boy. since then, robert has considered himself a disappointment not just to his dad, but in general, and all because he is bisexual. 

is it any wonder that robert refused to say he was anything other than straight? is it such a surprise now that whenever jack is mentioned (even up until today when vic said their dad would be proud of him for proposing to a man) he immediately shuts down? 

robert has pushed down his feelings for half his life, buried them as he accurately said. and aaron, broken and insecure but so utterly strong as well, was the only person who got through those defences, the only one robert got to be himself around. 

that poor, frightened, insecure, ashamed little boy has always been a part of robert, he’s carried round that guilt for years and aaron has finally helped him to overcome it. 

“i just wanna be myself now… with you” 

that’s all he wants, all he’s ever wanted. for someone to look at him, all of him, and not turn away. all he’s ever wanted is to have someone love him for who he is. and now he has that.

Science Section: Day 7 [The Lover]

When two people seem to have romance brewing, sometimes people say that they have ‘good chemistry’. Inaho would probably say that their biological chemicals are in fact reacting – which is less romantic, but scientifically accurate!

Is love nothing more than a bunch of hormones being released? Science has no answer to that. But what science can tell us is what hormones are released during the different stages of ‘falling in love’.

The first stage can be called ‘lust’, and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone (men) and oestrogen (women). They’re what make you take a look at someone and think “now there’s someone I want to get closer to”.

The second stage is ‘attraction’. Adrenaline causes you to sweat, your heart to race and your mouth to go dry – the butterflies in the stomach when you see your crush. Adrenaline activates the stress response, increasing levels of adrenalin and cortisol in the blood. that sharpens your focus and makes you feel like you don’t need as much food or sleep. All the better to keep you on track with wooing the apple of your eye! And hopefully notice if they’re not reciprocating so you can cut your losses. Dopamine gives you a feeling of pleasure when you think about your beloved, the chemical ‘rewarding’ you for interacting with them so that you keep them on your mind. Serotonin also causes you to want to be around them more.

The third stage is attachment. Oxytocin is the star here – it makes you feel a strong bond to another individual and isn’t always romantic; parental bonds also rely on this hormone. It’s released when you cuddle… or do other things that involve close bodily contact.

All of these chemicals work to make love feel addictive and turn it into a powerful, mysterious force that seems have the power to make people crazy; it sort of does, since the hormones change the way you think and act.  

And it’s not all chemistry! Other factors can make people seem more attractive and there’s science behind that as well. For example, people with more symmetrical appearances are more attractive, since it’s a way to judge how good their genes are – diseases can disfigure faces and affect growth, so it’s an indication of a good immune system.

Another way the immune system plays into helping us sniff out our match is that it… makes us literally sniff out our match. There’s theories that humans can smell out people with ‘complimentary’ immune systems – that’s to say that people will seem more attractive if they happen to fill the gaps in your own armour. This also plays into the idea that ‘opposites attract’. Therefore, hypothetically, it’s more likely that you’ll fall in love with someone very different from you.

So… who would be more attractive to Inaho Kaizuka?

An intelligent Japanese girl who is a good Kataphrakt pilot and an academic high achiever?

A Martian princess who cares deeply for both the people of Vers and Mars and wishes idealistically for peace?

Or is there someone else who could be better described as his ‘opposite in every way’?

That concludes the last science section of Inaweek. The organisers sincerely hope that your all enjoyed the celebrations and wish you a great year.  

anonymous asked:

Hey. I have kind of a weird question, I guess... I'm bisexual, which for me means that I am attracted to more than one gender (not necessarily two) and I was wondering if it's transphobic to say I have a preference for transguys and generally girls? I know it's a weird question, but I thought it might be transphobic, because it sounds like I see transguys as girls (which I don't) and I don't wanna be transphobic.

Tbh I would say that it reads as transphobic to me, yes. It appears to exclide transmen from the category “men in general”. May I interest you in the term “feminine” instead? Because nb people, men and women can be feminine, regardless of whether they are cis or trans. Although that can also be dysphoric for a transman. And there are quite a lot of girls (cis and trans) who do not read as very feminine. Maybe “androgynous” is the term to describe your objects of attraction? I identify as androgynosexual myself because I, like you, have a preference for my partners’/’s physical attributes, but it is not regulated by gender in any way. And through the term androgynosexual I feel that I highlight the aspect of another person that is about sexual attraction… which I separate entirely from what makes them romantically attractive to me. But I know that is not for everyone, so it’s really up to you what you want to label yourself as, of course. I do advice you to be careful about using language that might indicate that transmasculine people belong in the same caregory as ciswomen. Perhaps if the defining trait for your objects of sexual attraction is that they have vaginas, that is what you should say: “I am attracted to people whose genitalia have this specific shape.” Because that is esentially what is comes down to in the end, no? And you may note that this reducing people to their genitalia becomes rather fetishizing… which then would be a form of exotification of people in general and transpeople in particular, because it seems to indicate that.it is our genetalia that is the only focal point of our entire person. That is a very slippery slope, but it is the way sexual attraction works. If we’re talking about romantic attraction then that would be something like: “I am attracted to people who has the experience of being treated like girls and whose past coding as a woman has shaped them as a person.” It’ not the same as sexuality but it’s an important part of who we are attracted to. It’s quite a balance act, which is why I think we need to make a difference between romantic and sexual attraction. It’s less obscuring of asexual, aromantic and aroace people as well. 😄

This election is so inherently sexist it makes me sick. If Hillary were a man there wouldn’t even be a question of who was going to be president, but because she is a woman, she is automatically scrutinized and attacked for every thing that she’s ever done. Yes, she isn’t perfect. We know that but more importantly she knows that and she’s admitted it which is more than I can say for trump. She genuinely cares for this country and has worked in politics for years. She knows her shit! But people still won’t side with her because she’s “shady”. If Hillary had done even half of what trump has done she would have been condemned. But men are forgiven for their actions, “boys will be boys”. The only reason trump is still in this is because he is a white male.

A few years ago, I met this young woman who was aspiring to be a model. She’d go on & on about the men who hit on her, pursue her, compliment her & I’d just nod my head. Weeks went by & she called me one day & asked, “ are you attracted to me, am I beautiful to you?” My response was,“ I don’t know enough about you to know if you’re beautiful or not.” I don’t like the way men throw around compliments just to get what they want & i’m just not the by any means necessary, do what you have to do or say what she wants to hear to get the pussy type of man. Being attractive should be based on far more than physical attributes that can be found upon the surface of several. I want something that I can’t easily find. I need to be able to crave something in which only you can provide. Most of which is found deep within. Just thinking out loud. Instagram: @r.h.sin
—  r.h. Sin

wow okay so i am attracted to more than two genders, but i still call myself bisexual. the reason i say bisexual instead of pansexual is because i behave differently around different genders, and gender affects the specific feelings i have for a person and the way in which i’m attracted to them. like how dean is super smooth and suave around women but a bumbling shy idiot around men–that’s why i would call him bisexual instead of pansexual.

this is an important distinction because people think bisexuals can’t be attracted to transgender people, and that’s just not true. i think of the distinction as HOW you’re attracted to people as opposed to WHO you’re attracted to. and yes, it’s still confusing and i could be wrong.

Remember how upset a few bloggers were about “man caves” ? Like Tumblr is so anti male to the point where men leaving them alone,which is what 90% of this website says it wants, is a form of misogyny or whatever. Y'all listen more to these pseudo intellectuals on here more than your common sense. I saw a post yesterday saying that hating reality TV means you hate everything women love and hate women in general. How does that even compute?

I swear you can’t even critique/challenge a statement or idea on here if it comes from a woman because its always taken as an attack on a gender and not 2 adults debating. It’s sad.

I’m sitting here in the final two, with two brothers who I’m sure we all agree never would’ve made it to the end without each other because neither one of them have proven to be a whole player individually. For anyone who thinks I don’t deserve the win because I returned after being evicted once, I’ll kindly remind you all that you all are the ones who voted me back in unanimously, and left me in the house week after week until this point.

Emmett even advised me to change up my game, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t. I stayed true to who I was.

I was the first to survive being on the block, and I have stayed true to my alliance until the very end, which is more than I can say for the brothers….who have had no clear strategy or alliance to anyone, but have lost their tempers and thrown tantrums like young boys and not young men. So I hope you’ll give your vote to me, a more whole player than these two brothers could ever be individually, and let them share what’s left of the spoils of 2nd place.

—  Jun Song, writing what would have been Kelsey’s game winning speech, and scalping the brothers bald(er) in the process
The Fallacy of Strong Female Characters

I watched Guardians of the Galaxy and decided I could no longer appreciate these movies. It’s not that the film was bad. It had the light-hearted atmosphere that provides much needed respite from the brooding sci-fi and super hero movies in which Hollywood imagines itself a martyr. This was why the Avengers was also more tolerable for me than, say, most of the recent Batman movies (I never got Batman).

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