which is more messy my life or my hair


“Uhm, Harry?” Draco eyed his roommate suspiciously. He shifted nervously in his desk chair as Harry’s intense green eyes seemed to graze over him. The man had a weird look on his face and Draco did not like it.

“Yes Draco?” Harry replied, stepping out of the doorframe into their shared dorm.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Draco pushed his chair backwards until it collided with his desk. Then, when Harry showed no sign of slowing down he got up and stepped away, so he now almost had his back pressed against the wall behind him. He knew he was acting ridiculous, but so was Harry. If he didn’t know any better the green eyes coming towards him were filled with… with…

Lust was the wrong word, but it was definitely some sort of desire. And curiosity. And determination. And some form of fondness Draco could not place at all.

A combination scary enough to make him do one more step backwards. His heels hit the wall.

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Bitter Sweet

Jughead x Reader 

Requested: - Anonymous said: Hey um… I don’t know if you do requests… but I’ll just request and see what happens I guess? Okay, I really enjoy your writings and I was wondering if you could do a Jugheadxreader story where the reader is kinda depressed2 


can you do a jughead/riverdale imagine where jughead breaks up with the reader, and the whole “squad” leaves the reader, so in despair she goes to the river to kill herself ( like what Cheryl did ) and Jughead saves her?

Words: 2752

Warnings: self harm; depression; suicide attempt; suicidal thoughts.

Originally posted by xoheatherkw

“I’m sorry Y/N, I still love you but-”

“Then why are you leaving me! This isn’t fair.” I sobbed and gripped his shirt in my hands trying to stop keep him close.

“Y/N please. You’re making this harder for both of us. I promise you’re not losing me or anyone else.” He sighed and carefully pried my hands off of him and wiped my tears before walking me the rest of the way home.

I tried to go to bed but my thoughts kept me up as well as my constant crying and pain. I didn’t get any sleep that night despite how hard I tried to calm down and try get a few hours of rest. When my alarm went off in the morning I was already up, I pulled myself out of bed after convincing myself that it would be the best thing to do. I grabbed a pair of leggings and a huge baggy sweater from my cupboard and put them on before going to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. I looked in the mirror and only then could I see how badly I needed to rest, my eyes were puffy, red and had dark circles around them and tears stains ran down my cheeks with the general paleness of my face topping it all off. I left my face alone, make up can’t cover all this up so I just did my hair and went to my room fetching my bag and stepping outside.

I waited outside for two minutes out of habit which made nearly cry again, Jug always walked me to school, even before we were dating but I guess he doesn’t need me anymore even if we were just friends. So I walked to school all by myself with tears threatening to fall the whole way there. Once I got to school I cheered up a little when I saw Betty at her locker which is a few paces from mine, I strolled over to her and greeted her with a sigh which made her turn around quickly in curiosity.

“Oh hey Y/N… I’ve got to go.” She said bluntly and basically ran off in the other direction as I laughed which wasn’t a happy laugh it was a sad laugh at the crushing realization of the reality of my new world.

I spent the rest of the day trying to confront the people I used to call best friends but they all made up an excuse to leave before I even got my first sentence out. Even Archie ignored me, Archie Andrews, we had known each other since first grade and now it’s like we had never met. I blame Jug for all of this, he’s turned the people closest to me against me and what pisses me off even more is that I haven’t seen him all day, I thought I wasn’t going to “lose him or anyone else.”

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anonymous asked:

for starters; I don't mean this in any negative way. I noticed you draw deku slightly different every time. Is there a specific reason why?

It’s mostly because I’m trying to get a feel for his character. I’ve been experimenting with him in my style to see which one fits the image im imagining for him

A great example is my first ever bnha fanart of deku to my most current fanart:

Obviously it was my first time drawing him so in the first picture he looks really forced and stale. Even though it was deku, it didn’t really look like deku. Then to my current deku the picture fits more of his character; rounded cheeks, defined freckles and chunky, messy hair. Plus my color choices for him in the beginning were grossly yellow and lackluster. Now he’s a lot more vibrant and full of life and character!

We were in the grocery store. You wanted ice cream even though it was cold out. You couldn’t decide which flavour and I was teasing you able being so indecisive sometimes. I suggested we just buy every flavour in the store and you laughed. It was the kind of laugh I could listen to for the rest of my life. You said I was silly and you kissed me, pressed against me so I could feel how cold the top of your nose was. You were only in sweats, hair so messy from being in bed all afternoon. And in that moment I knew I loved you more than anyone else I had ever loved. In that moment I knew you were my once in a lifetime. And yet all we were doing was looking for ice cream.
—  Looking for Ice Cream | Courtney Peppernell, Pillow Thoughts
Bibia Be Ye Ye

A/N: someone asked for another Sebastian x reader but I lost it in my inbox but this one is for you babeee!!! xxxxxx

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

You watched from backstage as Sebastian sat talking to the interviewer about various projects he had been working on. 

A grin stretched across your face as he mentioned you, talking about how much he adores you. “How long?” The interviewer asked, and you still hadn’t gotten use to the general public knowing about you. 

“Oh gosh, nearly 2 years this April.” He smiled, his eyes brightening with every word. “Well let me know if it doesn’t work out, kay?” the interviewer joked, sending Sebastian a wink. 

The audience laughed and you couldn’t help but feel a hole in the pit of your stomach as she said that. Of course, she was a comedian and you knew that it was irrational to think that it was anything more than a joke, but it still stung. 

“I don’t think she’s going anywhere.” Sebastian said, chuckling under his breath. You crossed your arms, Sebastian’s dressing room suddenly seeming a lot smaller than it was a few moments ago. 

The interview continued and you still thought about that one comment. One single comment, and you felt jealously course through your veins. 

It ended and you watched as the cameras switched to a wide angel and the interviewer pressed a small kiss to Sebastian’s cheek. 

“Jesus fucking christ.” You groaned, closing your eyes and sighing as the television went black. 

Of course the interviewer was gorgeous, her long black hair and ivory skin filling you to the brim with envy. You rubbed your temples and attempted to ignore the headache coming on. 

Sebastian was quick to rush into the room, high off of adrenaline and sweaty from the stage lights. 

“Hello baby.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, which you welcomed but felt a bit of nausea accompany it. “Hi.” you cooed back, swallowing your pride and deciding to ignore your jealousy. 

“What’d ya think?” He asked, sitting next to you. “Great, as usual babe.” You smiled, kissing his lips and standing up. “You gonna shower?” 

He nodded, following his usual routine and undressing before hopping into the shower. You heard him humming softly as you looked into the mirror, picking apart your image for what seemed like that thousandth time, wondering if you were good enough. 

You couldn’t understand why he was with you. He said he loved you, he stayed by you with everything and he was excited when he saw you. But, your brain wouldn’t let you believe it. 

You never spoke about your insecurities in front of him because once you thought about saying it outloud, it all just sounded a bit silly. 

Despite how silly it may seem, it still bothered you. A lot. 

“Hey darlin’,” Sebastian poked his head out of the curtain, “why don’t you join me today?” 

You met his eyes, swallowing back more nausea and lifting your shirt over your head. He smiled, watching you climb into the shower and holding your hand so you don’t fall. 

He moved you underneath the water, the warmth enveloping your body as he looked down at you with a grin. 

Your bottom lip trembled as you had a weak smile stretch across your face. 

Concern washed over Sebastian’s face, his hair dripping as you felt a quiet sob fall from your lips. 

Sometimes you just felt like you weren’t enough, and seeing Sebastian standing in front of you with so much admiration, you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t deserve it. 

He wrapped his arms around your shoulder, skin to skin contact nearly calming you but you still felt anxiety bubble up. 

“What’s the matter?” He murmured, rubbing the lower half of your back soothingly. 

A tear slipped down your face and quickly mixed in with the water that fell from the shower head. “I’m just- you could do so much better.” you whispered, your head on his chest. 

“I did not just hear you say that.” Sebastian said, hugging you tightly between his arms. You loosely hung on him, your arms on his waist as you cried softly. 

“You listen to me,” Sebastian pulled away and met eyes with you, watching as your tears mixed with the water from the shower head, “you are the most gorgeous person I have ever met. Ever. I love you more than anything and you know that.” 

In his attempts to brighten your mood, you could only think about how easily he could act and say the words without actually meaning them. “B- but, you have girls lusting after you. You could have anyone you want in the world. Just- why me?” 

Voicing your frustrations has never been easy. 

“I only want you.” 

“Damn it, Sebastian! Why? That interviewer was practically panting through out the whole thing yet you come back to this mess?” you gestured to your face, which now had mascara stricken cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

“You don’t seem to understand,” Sebastian whispered, wiping away your tears and holding your face between his hands, “I want you. Especially when you have runny make up or messy hair.” 

He took your silence as an opportunity to speak more, “You are the love of my life.” 

You scoffed, ending it in a laugh as you looked up at him, “Why?” 

“Why not?” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “because your laugh makes me smile. Your hair smells amazing, and you look great in my t-shirts. Hell, even my mom loves you.” 

You smiled softly, “Is that it?” 

“I could keep going, or I could do this.” He was quick to pick you up and press your back against the wall of the shower. You giggled, allowing him to capture your lips with his and run your hands through his hair. 

His hands held your thighs and you felt the water run over both of your bodies. To say your insecurities had diminished completely would be an overstatement, but Sebastian certainly has a way with words that eased your anxiety slightly. It also helped that he had his hands on your body. 

A knock sounded on the door which tore you out of your bliss. 

“Sebastian, you’ve got to get to the Fallon studios soon!” Sebastian’s manager sounded, his voice gruff with annoyance. Sebastian poked his head out of the curtain and nodded, “Will be out in a second.” 

You poked your head out from beneath him, a sly smile on your face as you watched his manager’s face go red, “Maybe two seconds.” 

Without another glance, Sebastian pulled you back into the shower and pressed his lips hard against yours. 

You were feeling better, to say the least.

tlc fancast

This took like a year and one long hour trying to figure out who I wanted to cast. I did more energy on researching this more than school which says a lot about me. So here is more long awaited TLC fancast.

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One Day | Oh Sehun

Rating - Fluff

Word Count1.2k+

Summary - In which you attend your sister’s wedding with your boyfriend Sehun - along with his group members - and you begin to think about your future.

Originally posted by luderella


As I put the last flower in my beautiful unni’s hair, I gave her a smile through the mirror of the dressing table she was sat at. It was her wedding day and we were both beyond excited.

“I can’t believe you’re already getting married, I could’ve sworn it was yesterday when we were running around the house playing tag” I chuckled before feeling a tear roll down my cheek, and I instantly wiped it off. But it was too late, as she looked at me with watery eyes as well. “Hey! Don’t you dare start crying! I spent half an hour on your make-up” I scolded as she lightly laughed and attempted to fix the little damage she made.

“Finally found my Mr. Right…” She sighed as she admired a picture of her and he fiancé, which was stuck to the mirror. “Speaking of, when’s yours arriving?” She asked looking up at me as I blushed

“I’m not sure I texted him a few minutes ago, he said he’s going to arrive with the boys in about 20 minutes” I smiled, fixing my dress as she smirked “What?” I laughed as she shook her head

“I was rhetorically speaking, but you actually answered as if I was asking about Sehun” She giggled as I gave her a light shove. “You really like him don’t you?” She smiled and I lightly nodded. Oh Sehun was everything that I could ask for in a boyfriend; He’s caring and sweet, takes care of me but still gives me the freedom to live my own life, he’s my rock whenever the world is knocking me down and he’s simply just the perfect person to be around. He had gotten close to my family through the course of our dating life, that’s why he was mostly invited to all of my family events and vice-versa.

Sehun’s POV

I fixed my bow tie for the hundredth time looking in the mirror and checking whether my hair looked too messy, or too slicked back. I know that none of the attention is going to be towards me this afternoon, which I will enjoy quite a lot. Meaning, I’ll be able to spend more time with Y/N and share her happiness. Her family had also invited the rest of the boys, and by observing the annoyed expressions they were giving me, I’m pretty sure I was the one taking the longest amount of time to get ready.

“Your bow-tie is fine! Your hair is fine! Your suit is fine! Everything is fine. Seriously we’re gonna get late!” Junmyeon hyung, exclaimed before plopping down onto the couch along with Chanyeo

“It’s not like it’s your bloody wedding! It’s her sisters, you’re just Y/N’s date” Jongin added and I shot him a glare.

“Don’t worry, our maknae is definitely her family’s future son-in-law” Minseok continued, but Junmyeon hyung calmed them down before things got out of hand. Sure, Jongin had a point, but now that I’m practically family to them, I should look equally as presentable. I heard my phone go off, notifying me that I got a text, so I checked it.

Baby: You’d better be setting off; the groom’s side has already arrived

Me: Got it! See you there beautiful x

Baby: Bye handsome x

“Okay, Lets go!” I announced as I got my keys out and they all let out a relived sigh

“Okay so let me get this straight, when we tell you a million times, you don’t listen. But when you receive a text from Y/N, you’re out the door in 0.3 seconds. I see” Baekhyun laughed

“Don’t make me regret taking you guys along with me. When we’re there, all of you are mature and sophisticated. Nothing else” I instructed as we got into our cars.

“Our Maknae is becoming a big boy!” Yixing hyung exclaimed fanning his eyes as if he was about to cry of happiness.We drove to the venue which was a beautiful open field, with white garden furniture with a mix of baby-blue and lilac decorations. Y/N had worked her little socks off these past 3 months planning this wedding and everything looked perfect. I saw her perfect smile beaming at the guests who had arrived early as she showed them to their tables. I smiled to myself, staring at her with sheer admiration in my eyes, realizing once again, how lucky I was to have her.The boys soon cleared themselves out to their table, chatting with the other guests as I stood watching Y/N fixing some of the decorations, and I decided to finally greet her


As struggled fixing a little lily that had fallen off of the flower display, I felt someone creep up behind me and my heart began to race. I calmed down as I caught a whiff of Sehun’s familiar musky scent and he reached up from behind me and fixed the flower.

“Hey beautiful” He whispered in my ear as he placed his arms around my waist, placing his head in the crook of my neck and I let out a giggle

“Hello handsome” I greeted turning around in his grip so I could face him, linking my hands behind his neck.

“May I just say you look breathtakingly gorgeous today” He cheesily smiled as I looked down at our feet. He seemed more silent and tense than usual as I felt his arms flex at the sight of my parents

“Do they still manage to make you nervous?” I giggled placing my hand on his cheek and he lightly shook his head before letting out a nervous laugh “Then what is it?” I asked getting slightly worried as he was never like this when my family was around

“I don’t know… It’s just… It’s a big day for your sister, do you really want me and the other dimwits here?” He asked quietly as I shook my head as I turned to see the boys messing around on the table

“Sehun you’re one of the most important people in my life, so are those dimwits. Trust me I want you here as much as everyone else does” I reassured as I got up on my tip-toes and gave him a light peck on the lips.

 The program soon began as the traditional exchanging of vows and what not took place. That was heartless. I apologize. But as my sister slipped a ring onto her new husbands finger, Sehun came closer to me, wrapped his arms around my waist once again and placed his head on top of mine

“That’s going to be us one day yeobo” He teased and he kissed my cheek as felt them heat up. I lightly shoved him backwards, only earning a light laugh and I shook my head “I’m being serious jagiya, there’s no one else in the world, who I’d rather spend the rest of my life with” He cooed swaying us lightly at the beat of the soft tune, playing in the background. I turned around to face my beautiful boyfriend, just enjoying his presence in such an important event in my life and I placed my head on his chest

 “I love you Sehunnie…” I mumbled looking towards our intertwined fingers as we continued to slow dance along with my family as my sister was having her first dance

“I love you too Beautiful. More than anything” He whispered back before pulling me into a passionate kiss. Maybe that is going to be us one day…

A/N: Hope you guys loved reading this as much as I loved writing it! 

-Shazz xx


Classic Sugg - part one

“Classic Sugg” -part one

Third person’s POV:

Today was the day, today you were finally going to see the Jaspar flat. One of the roommates, Joe Sugg, and you had been best mates since what seemed like forever.  You two used to be prank king and prank queen in highschool, and shared your childhood. But as you grew older, Joe’s YouTube channel expanded and he moved to London. Even though you stayed a few hours away, in Brighton, you were still the best of friends. Just two weeks ago, he had moved in with another you tuber- Caspar Lee, because Caspar’s previous roommate- Alfie had moved in with Zoe Sugg, who was Joe’s sister as well as your best friend. There had been a housewarming party one week ago, but since you were in Uganda helping children, you had missed it and never seen the flat.

But three days ago, you had asked his manager to check his schedule, which was clear today, and planned a surprise visit for him.

When you called him to say that you couldn’t attend the housewarming party, he was really upset, and even though it wasn’t that big of a deal, you decided to shock him, in a good way, you hoped.

Your POV:

After coming out of the shower, I changed into a black and white striped halter shirt, faded blue denim jeans, and put on a black jacket, to prevent my makeup ruining my new shirt. Then I put on some foundation, concealer to cover my dark circles because of staying up too late, put on some mascara, and finally put on the “Afternoon Tea” lip gloss from my good friend Tanya Burr’s lip gloss collection. I had to say, it really made my lips look snoggable. This wasn’t my go to look, which took a bit more time, but I didn’t bother hide my face from Joe, who had seen me when you had the flu, probably when I looked the worst in my life, with the pale skin and all.

After making sure there were no clumps in my mascara, I braided my hair into a messy braid, because it was going to get messed up by the wind anyway, and I loved messy buns and braids.

I grabbed my absolute favorite leather rucksack, which was gifted to me by Joe this year on my 23rd birthday, and put my flat keys, your laptop, phone, clutch, and a compact mirror into it, along with the new vlogging camera neatly wrapped (it wasn’t me, I’m rubbish at wrapping presents) in white paper with cartoons all over it. Joe loves cartoons so I thought he would like his present covered I them. His birthday is tomorrow, I plan on returning home tonight only, because a meeting is scheduled tomorrow, but he won’t be celebrating his birthday tomorrow, since all our mates have thrown him a party this weekend. I bought him this camera just as a pre- birthday present.

After calling up Lizzy, Joe’s assistant (I literally just made that up, I don’t know the name of joe’s assistant) to make sure Joe was still free for today, I headed towards the train station to get to London. I sure was damn excited.

Third person’s POV:

After three hours of travelling, you were exhausted and finally on your way to The Jaspar Household. Your cab driver- Arnold, was a very sweet person, he was young like you, and had been a cabbie for around three months. You had learned that he was an orphan, which almost made you cry, because you were a very empathetic, and sensitive person sometimes. After about an hour of sitting in the cab listening to Arnold’s life story, and writing a blog post, you had become good friends and exchanged numbers. It was just ten more minutes to Joe’s and Caspar’s flat, and you could already feel the excitement. You hadn’t seen Joe since a month, which was a shame, since you had been here several times in the last month, but had loads of meeting to attend to.

“Y/N, we’ve reached,” said Arnold with a big grin. You took your rucksack and put your laptop back in it, and got off the cab. After paying the fare, you bid Arnold goodbye, and called Lizzy and told her you were here.

Now, since you had Joe’s apartment keys, because Joe had forgotten his spare keys at yours’ the last time he came to visit, Joe didn’t have to know you were here before you surprised him. You opened the lock quietly and tip toed to Joe’s bedroom.

Joe, it seemed was watching a YouTube video with his headphones on, and couldn’t hear you. After putting your rucksack down, as it was heavy, you screamed, “SUGGY!”

Joe immediately took off his headphones and looked at you, first he looked utterly shocked but then it changed into a bit less shocked grin. He came over to you and squeezed you in a giant hug.

“Y/N, you literally shocked me, it’s so nice to see you, I’ve missed you so much!” he squeezed me in another hug. “Were you editing Joe?” you asked, “I don’t wanna disturb you.’’  “You sound just like Tanya right now, you’ve made me so happy, besides, I was just watching a YouTube video.” “But Tanya’s so sweet.” “I meant in a good way, I don’t think I’ve seen Tanya be rude.”

“Where’s Caspar?” you asked to which Joe replied, “He was just buying come groceries, I reckon he’ll be back in ten minutes or so.” “Mr. Joseph Sugg, would you show me around your residence?” you asked in a posh manner. “Sure, m’lady, it would be an honour to do so,” Joe took your hand and kissed it gently, and you pretended to shyly look away. You guys were weird, but you guys totally understood and related with each other’s weirdness. You both laughed, and Joe showed you around the house. You loved their new house, it was spacious, and all around lovely. Almost immediately after you had seen the house, Caspar came back from grocery shopping.

Pineap- Caspar’s POV:

As soon as I came home from Tesco, Joe introduced me to Y/N, who was his best friend from back home, but after college she had moved to Brighton. She had luscious y/h/c hair and gorgeous y/e/c eyes. She and Joe were so similar it freaked me out. As she had known Joe since high school, I asked her and Joe to film a truth or dare with me, and my fans tweeted some pretty good truths and dares. She agreed, and now we’re filming a video together. At first, I thought she was his girlfriend whom he had been hiding, but all she was was a friend, shocked me a bit, to be honest. I totally ship them. I’m totally going to tease Joe.

Your POV:

Joe adjusted the camera and it started recording. “Hi guys my name is Caspar Lee and today I’m here with my roommate Joe and good friend Y/N, and today we’re playing- ““Truth or dare,” Joe inserted and you screamed, “Shit’s about to get reaaaal!” in a weird voice and all of you started laughing. “So I asked you guys to tweet me some truths and dares, and Joe’ chosen them, so if yours was not taken, blame Joe, and let’s go!”

“Joe, truth or dare, you asked?” “Well, dare me!’ he screamed in a Kermit impression and you all started laughing. “I dare you to kiss the person sitting next to you on the cheek,” said Caspar “Gimme a cheek kiss,” he pouted. “Well, there’s two people next to me, “Joe said, as he was sitting in the middle with you and Caspar on either side of him. “Looks like you have to kiss both of us,” Caspar said in a horrible British accent. Joe looked at you and kissed you on the cheek. You blushed, but pretended to fix your hair to hide it. You had had a crush on Joe for quite a while but hadn’t got around to ask him out because you didn’t want to ruin your friendship with him. Your friends like Tanya and Jim and Alfie and Zoe had all told you that he really liked you, but you didn’t believe the because you know, Joe had never said it himself. Joe then gave Caspar a cheek kiss.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Caspar asked, “Truth.” “Bold choice, y/n.” Joe said, seriously. “Joe, why do you sound serious all of a sudden?” you asked. “Nothing, just good acting,” he gave you a cheeky smile.

“Y/N, what are your crush’s initials?” Caspar asked. “Well Casp, these guys know him, so I can’t give them his initials, but I can tell you one of his initials, does that make sense?” you blushed. “Is it me Y/N? Caspar asked jokingly. “No, Casp, you’re friend zoned, sorry mate,” you said with a pretend sad face. “Ok, Y/N, what is one of your crush’s initial?” Joe grinned. “S,” you answered, Joe’s surname. “Is it someone’s surname Y/N?” Caspar asked. “Yes.” “Okay Casp, truth or dare?” Joe asked. “Truth Joe, why?” “What’s your name?” Joe asked. “What?” “Just say,” “Okay, mate, calm down, Caspar Lee.” “So Y/n, truth or dare?” Joe asked again, “Well, dare.” “Okay, Y/N, someone dares you to call your crush and confess,” “But Caspar has the- ““Y/N, please,” Joe said cheekily. “Okay,” you said, and picked your phone, you dialed Joe’s number, and called him. “Joe Sugg, I really like you, would you want to go out with me?” Caspar, meanwhile was on his phone, pretending not noticing anything. “I really like you too, Y/N, yes I will go out with you,” Joe replied, dropped his phone and pecked you on the lips. You dropped your phone, cupped his face, and kissed him back. You paused for air, “Y/N, we should probably get a room, poor Caspar.” “Yes, and Y/N, my OTP is finally true, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS,” Caspar said, and hugged you both, you both hugged Caspar back, and walked into Joe’s room.

To be continued…

Nash Grier Imagine-A Little Bit of Your Heart

I suggest you listen to A Little Bit of Your Heart by Ariana Grande while reading this cause I’m listening to it while writing it:)

I looked at the clock once again to see it read 2:00AM. He still wasn’t back. I continued to clean the dishes slowly trying to hold my tears back. I knew he would be back soon and I didn’t want him to see me hurt. I heard the door open and close and I turned to see Nash walking through the door with messy hair and an undone belt. He doesn’t even try to hide it anymore. We didn’t speak to each other as I watched him walk to our bedroom to take a shower. My lip quivered warning me that I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears much longer. Once the door had been closed I placed the dish that I was cleaning down and gripped the sides of the counter and took a deep breath in before the tears came pouring down. I slid to the ground and curled up into a ball holding onto my legs crying my eyes out. Why wasn’t I good enough? I have him everything but for some reason it just isn’t enough. If he doesn’t love me why doesn’t he just leave me? Why do I have to love him so much? Why don’t I just confront him about it? Maybe there’s more to the story? Or at least I could know why… But that would allow Nash to know that I’ve always known which would cause problems and I can’t lose him. He’s my entire life. So everyday I’m just his fool waiting at home telling myself that maybe this time he’s actually got caught up at work. But everyday he walks through that door with messy hair and the smell of another girl’s perfume on him. I heard the shower turn off and I wiped my tears away and stood up to continue to clean the dishes. A few minutes later Nash walked out in a new outfit and came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “Hey baby girl. Are you almost done? I’m really tired.” He whispered in my ear. I let in a huge breath to keep the tears from coming down but that only made them come down faster. I began bawling my eyes out right in front of them. I fell down to the ground sobbing. Hearing him say something like that to me right after he was with another girl was too much. He bent down in front of me and wiped my tears away. “You know…” He said. “Why!? Why, Nash!? Was I not good enough!?” I screamed through my sobs. He looked down at the floor, ashamed of himself. “Y/N…” He whispered. “Tell me, Nash! Why!? Do you even love me!?” I screamed. Nash snapped his head up. “Of course I love you, Y/N! You’re my whole world!” He said to me. “Then why would you hurt me like this!?” I sobbed. “Baby… I’m an asshole… The first time was when you were away, I got drunk at a party and a girl came onto me and she looked so much like you I couldn’t stop myself… And then when you come to visit you always leave so sad and I feel like I’m hurting you and then I go and get drunk and end up in bed with another girl and then I got worse when you moved out here. I just kept getting drunk whenever we’d fight and then it started happening every night.” He said, crying now. “So you’re trying to use the drunk excuse, Nash!? You CHOSE to get drunk knowing what you’d do!” I yelled at him. He bag crying even harder now and my heart broke even more. “I know, Y/N. I don’t know why but I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you and that you would leave me one day and when these thoughts would creep into my head it would destroy me and the only way they would go away was if I’d drink and every night I make the same fucking mistake and I hate myself even more everyday.” He said now crying as hard as me. I pulled him into me and let him cry. I knew it was a stupid thing to do but I also knew he was telling the truth. In the 2 years me and Nash have been dating, I’ve never seen him cry. So I know he isn’t lying. “Nash… I won’t leave you but you can’t do that anymore. If you go with another girl again, don’t expect me to be here when you get home.” I said to him. He nodded and snuggled his head into my chest and continued to cry. “I hate myself. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I hate what I did.” He said crying more. I held his head close to me and kissed the top of it while running my fingers through his hair. “I love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. I didn’t mean any of it and the whole time I was only thinking about you.” He whispered. “Don’t do it again and you’ll always have my heart, Nash.” I said to him. He nodded his head and then I helped him up and we headed to our shared bedroom. We cuddled into each other and fell asleep.


I was originally gonna stick to what happened in the song but have you leave at the end but the last time I wrote an imagine they didn’t end up together so I felt like I owed to guys a happy ending 😂😂

Mr. Dan Isn't on Whatever

A/N: I actually really liked writing this, probably because this is the first time in a while since I last wrote. Anyways, you will not get the title until the middle-ish sorry. Enjoy!

I had an interview for a law school that day and I had planned that nothing would interfere or ruin my chances for one of the best opportunities in my life. I put on my most professional clothes, which was a poorly ironed ruffled white shirt messily tucked into a black pencil skirt that made my hips look wider than I preferred. My hair was curled then put into a messy bun that was supposed to look smart, but I think that was more of an attempt than a accomplishment.

The appointment was fairly early; a bit earlier than I intended because it was at 12:00, the time I usually woke up. By 11:15, I rushed out the door to head to the tube, bringing an old suitcase that held notes and possible interview questions along with me.

Like always, it was terribly busy in the station, so I had to once again force myself through the crowd, which was more of a struggle for short people like me.

When I checked times for deportation, my lips twitched into a frown to see that after leaving 45 minutes early, the first deportation to Baker Street was 11:46, a twenty five minute wait around this hectic swarm of people. None of the benches were available and my feet were surprisingly already aching in the heels I idiotically chose to slip on.

I trudged outside of the station to the nearest bench or bus stop that could potentially take me to Baker ahead of time. I found one out of two of the things listed; a bench.

Not wanting to be late, I constantly checked the time on my phone, but the time would stick. It was like the one day I wanted time to go ahead, time decided to go extremely lag-like.

After five minutes of paranoia passed by, I checked my social medias, where of course, no new posts would pop up in my dash or home spot. Since the only thing that could take up time left was Flappy Bird, I reluctantly started it up.

Flappy bird was the most life ruiningly annoying game ever invented, but its simplicity influenced my addiction to it, as you would tell from my high score of 56. The game actually took up plenty of time because when I checked the time once more, I had only three minutes before the tube arrived.

While it was a hassle to even get inside of the station, I successfully came just in time; although all of the seats had been taken up, standing was not a problem.

At last, everyone had boarded and the soft rumble began churning beneath me. My attention was mainly on Flappy Bird, because it had become my life’s duty to get my high score bumped up to sixty.

“Flappy Bird? God, I hate that game,” some guy remarked.

My head snapped up in alert, then I came to see a tall man. He had on a grey hoodie with cute cat ears pricked at the end of the hood. Besides that, his eyes were a soft brown, which made them seem almost feminine in a way.

I realized that I was simply staring at him in my own world, which made me cringe (on the inside) at my embarrassing actions.

“Um, yeah, sometimes it just makes me want to throw my phone against the wall, but it’s ever so addictive,” I laughed, hoping to make my already awkward situation lighter.

“What’s your high score?” he asked.

“Fifty eight, trying to get to sixty. What’s yours?”

“Wow, I thought I was good, I only have fourteen!”

There were some chuckling, but a silence dawned upon us, which gave me a chance to think. The guy seemed vaguely familiar, but then it all clicked.

“Are you-,”

“Danisnotonfire? yes,” he cut me off.

“No no, Dan Howell from BBC?”

“Oh. Oh, yes, yeah, I’m that too, sorry for cutting you off, I’m not normally like that, sorry.” He flustered.

“No, it’s fine, but you have another persona? Mr. Dan Isn’t on Whatever,” I giggled.

“I do YouTube, which is basically my job, and of course my fourteen year old self stuck with that username, which I cringe to this day.”

“I haven’t been on YouTube in forever, heh. But I do tune into your radioshow with Phil Lester as often as I can,” I admitted. It was one of my guilty pleasures.

“Well, thank you, then. It’s actually refreshing to hear that someone knew me from the radioshow first.”

“Anyways, what serious business are you attending to, at least I can tell by your outfit,” Dan inquired.

“I’m going to an interview for law school,” I said while straightening my skirt.

“Law, my worst enemy,”

“What, why?”

“My YouTube videos explain all of my fails with law, so you can checkout Danisnotonfire, not ‘Dan Isn’t on Whatever’,” he smirked.

I was taken back by his admirable smirk, but it was probably the jolt from the tube stopping. Something tugged within me when we were at my stop, but I carried on smiling.

“This is my stop,” I choked out.

“Oh, okay. Wait, I didn’t even get you name,” he quickly stated.

“It’s (Y/N).”

Dan suddenly grabbed my arm before I left, pulling me behind for a second.

“I’d like to see you on here more often.” he winked.

I stared him in the eyes, our faces inches apart, then left.

I just left.

When I reached the pavement, I reflected on our conversation, his pink lips forming into such a devious smirk, and the strong scent of gum when we were dangerously close.

I hated this yearning that would pang through me everyday. While my rationality understood and moved on with life, my subconscious continued to play sorry for me, and begged me to go on this movie-romance search for this man.

So one day, although it took a bit of brain strength to remember, I searched up his account on YouTube. He had three million subscribers, which I suspected were mainly girls, but was still shocked at how crazy internet famous he was.

I went through most of his videos throughout that day, and it felt like in every video, I would get to know him even more, and my usually drained smile became brighter than before.

Eventually, I followed his Tumblr and Twitter, and anxiously waited for his next liveshow on YouNow. That very Tuesday, he had put out a tweet stating that he was going to be live, and my old teenage ‘fangirl’ squeals escaped.

I began wondering once again if I could get his attention, or make him remember me throughout this liveshow. While most of me pushed aside the thought, there was that little spark of unrealistic hope that spiked within me.

Once he came on and everyone began blowing up the chat, my fingers lightly tapped the keyboard of my laptop, questioning myself on what I should say; what would be memorable, although I’m not good at those things.

There were multiple times throughout that hour that I would draw back from my childish idea, but my fingers would end up stuck on the keyboard.

“Okay guys, we’re just about coming to the end of the hour, any last thoughts or things I haven’t mentioned?” Dan announced.

I quietly panicked, then randomly typed something into the chat without a thought from anticipation.

“Hey Mr.Dan Isn’t on Whatever,” he read. My eyes glistened at his notice.

“(Y/N)?” he smirked.