which is interesting because i usually am when i'm on this mood

yellowgoingblue  asked:

“i work at a little market/store and u came up to the register with a candy bar but didn’t have enough money to pay for the entire thing. but don’t worry, i got you, fam” au: I saw this and my mind screamed, "ANDREIL".

ok i combined both of these and neither is fully what you asked for but i hope you like it anyway!!!

It’s hot the way only New Jersey gets hot, America’s swampy asshole, thick damp air under an impermeable layer of smog, the sun mocking him from where it hangs between a few grey clouds that indicate but don’t promise an upcoming rain.

Neil’s jog is taking much, much longer than usual thanks to an unbearable amount of traffic. It doesn’t help that he’s had to reroute himself to get some British candy bar from the one Wawa that—without explanation—carries British candy bars.

He gets there eventually, eight miles away from his apartment and so fully dehydrated that he’s questioning how the fuck he’s going to make it back. Wawa is, as always, an oasis: refrigerators line the walls, and within them, blissfully, is cold water. He grabs a bottle and drinks half of it in the aisle before even going on the search for the Mars Bar.

The candy aisle has nothing, just mostly-depleted cardboard boxes of Snickers and Twix. The international section is mainly Latin American and Asian goods, and then, crammed between coconut water and Goya goods, a box of Mars Bars.

Like the boxes in the candy aisle, it’s empty.

Keep reading

aviewfrommercury  asked:

Hey, I've been trying to research progesterone and I'm still not even sure if it's a single chemical or a name for a group of similar ones and it feels like it gets used so interchangeably that I'm getting lost a bit. May I ask what brand of progesterone you're taking?

Ok so I’ve gotten multiple asks about Progesterone since I started going on it and talking abt it. So like, obviously I’m not a doctor or whatever, but I can definitely talk abt what I know and my experiences w it! Sorry that this is gonna be a kinda long response.

So first of all, progesterone is a ‘sex hormone’/steroid hormone that everyone produces in different amounts. In that way, it’s similar to Estrogen and Testosterone. There are ways to take progesterone (creams, pills) but what I’m on is called Prometrium, which is considered ‘bioidentical’ (that is, of the same chemical structure as what the body makes). There are things called “Progestins” that not chemically identical to progesterone, but at used to have similar effects to progesterone. From what I understand, the depression that lots of people have w progestins doesn’t usually occur w bioidentical progresterone.

Progestins (and progresterone) are used for lots of things, like as a part of birth control, or like to avoid endomitriosis if you are on synthetic estrogen (and have a vagina you were born w). It’s also used for HRT for cis women after they hit menopause sometimes; that’s what my mom used it for.

Progesterone as a pretty big range in the hormonal menstrual cycle. Some trans women want to mimic that by taking progesterone only for like a week out of the month, or going on for two weeks and off for two weeks. Having gone through the emotionality that I did from just going on it, that sounds hellish to me, but like that’s not the form that my dysphoria takes, so I’m not gonna come down on anyone for what they do.

Lots of medical practitioners for trans women don’t want to prescribe progesterone for a variety of seeming contradictory reasons: it doesn’t do anything, it has a bunch of negative effects, the changes it causes are only temporary, whatever.

The site that I looked at with my NP was this one: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-feminizing-therapy . The way that he talked to me about it was that if you brought a group of trans women who took progesterone into a room, 3 would say that it didn’t do anything for them noticeably, another 3 would say that it was terrible and they were moody and emotional all the time and it was generally unpleasant, and 3 would say that it was calming and really helped with their bodies and dysphoria.

As for my personal experience w it, I would say that I’m in the last group: I’ve really had good experiences w progesterone, although there have been some issues as well.

So, as for body changes, I have had a *lot* of change of my general shape and esp my breasts. like to the extent that I may have grown more from being on it for a couple of months than my years of just estrogen. Like, the shape is more round, and I’ve basically gained a cup I would say; it’s been kinda crazy because I’m not used to hrt doing changes quickly, and progesterone has definitely worked fast for me. I’ve gained a lot of weight, which has positive effects (like body shape) even tho it is also kicking up my ED shit.

As for emotional changes, this has actually been a mixed bag for me, like hrt has been generally. I mean, i think people are always oversimplifying when they talk abt how hormones effect things, because we’re complex and dynamic beings. But the way I can talk abt it is to say that like… I cry a lot more than i used to. I didn’t cry for several years, and now I sometimes cry on the train when I think abt wishing I could have children (extremely bad for the movement, but #whatever). And like, when I get really emotional, it is like… much *more* than it was previously and like I feel a bit foolish and stereotypical at how much I can feel those things. But at the same time, I feel like at the stable point I am now, I am in some sense relatively calmer, and can like get thru difficult conversations better and more calmly than I could before. This is not the case when you are first starting: the first week for me was like such a mood swing city that I felt like every annoying Tina Fey depiction of a hormonal woman I had ever seen.

Other things to note: I’m hungry all the god damn time. But, I feel cold less! When I wake up now, it is much harder for me to go back to sleep (this was the first thing I noticed abt it actually). I actually felt like my libido was somewhat negatively affected by it at first as I got used to it, but there are a lot of third variables going on there. At this point in a stable dose, I feel like my libido is maybe a little bit more, but mostly in the same ballpark. It’s changed how my sexuality functions a little bit (I feel like I’m less into men, I feel maybe more masochistic) but that’s totally just me and who knows why.

anyhow, I hope this helps anyone who has been interested in my general experience here.

"Favorite Colors" - LokixReader

Prompt :: Your favorite colors match your best friend’s clothing, that you tend to wear.  A certain God is less than pleased about this when he returns from Asgard.

Features :: grumpy Loki, platonic Pietro, mutant reader, slightly happier AU where the characters we love aren’t dead and the team lives at the Avengers Tower

Warnings :: Some cursing, and wee bit of suggestive language because… Loki

Word Count :: 3,070

Additional Notes :: This is the first fic I’ve finished and liked enough to post.  I haven’t written xReaders actively in years so it’s probably pretty bad, but I hope it’s alright aha.  I haven’t seen every movie yet so I apologize for inaccuracies.  I also wrote this on my phone, so I’m sorry if it reads awkwardly!

(side note: favorite colors are already set for this story)


“PIETRO!” You howled, as a trailing blue blur swirled in and out of your room.  Having just woken up, you had planned on changing out of your pajamas in exchange for loose, comfy, lazy-day clothes.  Instead, Pietro had cleared your drawers and left some of his own clothes.  You sighed and slapped your palm to your forehead, both exasperated and amused.  You had formed strong bonds with both sibling sets, somehow, but you considered Pietro to be your closest friend.  That wasn’t without effort on your part, however, as you had tried to form a deeper bond with the silver tongued God.  Despite yourself, you smiled softly at the thought of him.  You had to admit to yourself that you had a special fondness for Loki, but unfortunately, the Sokovian twins knew this… all too well.  Wanda had noticed right away, but let you believe she didn’t until you had the strength to tell her.  After that, well… her teasing was what tipped off Pietro.  You loved the speedster, but platonically.  Somehow, he felt the same, and it was truly wonderful.  The other Avengers occasionally commented on how you both acted like a couple, even with cheek kisses, but the two of you cared little.  However, to anyone who didn’t constantly spend their time around you, the lack of romance could easily be missed.  Especially considering the fact that you often wore Pietro’s colors, or clothes, and you enjoyed using your powers together.  You were a proud mutant, and your powers consisted of super strength, matter manipulation, and rapid regeneration.  To put it all simply, you and Pietro were a chaotic duo in the tower.


Later that day, the two of you were starting to set up an overly elaborate prank for Tony, when the Asgardian brothers returned from a month-long visit to their home.  Thor first entered the room with his booming voice, which caused you to disintegrate your prank materials in surprise, to avoid being caught.  Tony could clean up the debris later, or have someone else clean it, but currently, your eyes were focused on a rather gloomy Loki, who entered a few paces behind Thor.  Unfortunately, he didn’t see you yet, because you were hanging from the ceiling, as you had secured your legs into it by manipulating the ceiling to brace your body.

“Friends, how we’ve missed you!  Asgard is well- No, Jane stayed here-” Thor was answering multiple questions as the other Avengers filled the room, but paused when he noticed you.  "Lady (Y/N), why are you on the ceiling?“ He asked with a knowing smile.  Thor had fallen victim to your pranks enough times to know how you and Pietro worked together, but what he didn’t notice was how Loki’s gaze hardened when he saw you as well.

You, on the other hand, quickly motioned your hands and blended the debris into the floor, knowing what would come next.  

"I’m simply assessing the layout from a new angle, is that so wrong?” You asked with a grin, before resetting the ceiling and falling to the floor.  Pietro zoomed from an adjoining room and caught you, before pressing an over dramatic kiss to your cheek.

“(Y/N)!  What would you do without me?  You’re literally falling for me.” He joked, dragging an exasperated groan from you, followed by a hearty chuckle.  You flicked a lock of his silver hair and leapt from his hold, before walking to Thor.

The two of you properly exchanged greetings, before sharing your ‘traditional’ hug.  Thor gripped your waist and lifted you, and in turn, you did the same to him.  He was shocked the first time you did it, but now, he loved how strong you were.  As a bonus to being admirable, the two of you had become a sparring team when you were in the same realm.  You could still remember the shock and mild horror on Frandal’s face when he realized the pretty lady from Midgard could hold her own against the mighty prince.  The horror was partially because he had been flirting with you moments before you sparred with Thor, and he realized your disinterested threat of 'neutering’ him if he got too close was very possible.  Glancing at Loki, you blushed faintly and approached him with mild caution.

“Salutations, Loki…” You began, but faltered at his darkened mood.  “Hey, are you… okay?”  You asked softly, while most of the Avengers focused on Thor and headed to the sitting area.  You had always preferred to be to-the-point with the God of lies, and his apparent anger seemed to soften at your voice.  He wasn’t usually so dark and sour when returning from Asgard, though that attitude was more reasonable when he had to go there.

“I am well, thank you… But if I may ask, why do you wear the runner’s clothes?” Loki asked, his tone shifting to distaste.  "I’m sure you deal with his sweat enough to not require wearing it.“ He added, which stopped you like a brick wall.

"Wh… What?  Sweat?  These are just clothes he left after raiding my dresser.  I mean, blue and silver are my favorite colors, so…” You trailed off, still confused by Loki’s strange comment.  He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, so after a drawling moment, you decided to try to neutralize the awkwardness with a proper hug.

Unlike with Thor, your hugs with Loki were soft and caring.  He stilled for a moment in your arms, before shifting to hold you close.  His body language gradually relaxed, and soon, he leaned back and rested his forehead against yours.  You forced a smile when you noticed the pained look in his eyes.

“Loki… Please, what’s wrong?” You pressed, knowing it was important that he didn’t let his negative emotions brew and fester. He sighed, and you blushed softly at his cool breath fanning across your face.  You loved this closeness with him, and craved more, but your fear of losing his friendship was stronger than your want to be by his side, no longer just a friend.

“Nothing, darling.  I’ve simply been thinking about a conversation I had with my mother.” He stated, before turning you around and keeping a hand on your back as you walked towards the other Avengers.


The evening had descended on the tower, but several Avengers remained active in the rec. rooms.  Pietro and Tony were betting on whether you or Thor, respectively, would win your wrestling match, while Wanda watched you with a knowing smile.  You were distracted by the other God, who was trying to read peacefully, which was why Thor had gained the upper hand.  You stole another glance at Loki, and locked eye contact.  You stilled when he grinned at you, but then, Thor pinned you to the ground. You tried to escape his grasp with your strength, so Thor pressed you into the floor to keep you there.  Pietro whistled teasingly, hoping to make a joke so Tony would forget about the bet.

“I guess we can see who will be the next queen of Asgard!”  Pietro teased, remarking on how close you and Thor currently were.  You then heard a thud, and turned your head to see that Loki had dropped his book on the floor.  Looking up at his face, his jaw was stiff and his expression was angry.  He stood up, and as he began to storm out of the room, you felt a pang of pain in your chest.  You looked at Thor, who had watched Loki as well, and he nodded softly at you.  You were glad that you knew Thor well enough when it came to his brother to wordlessly ask a myriad of questions.  He stood and pulled you up, so you could go comfort Loki on whatever angered him.


When you arrived at Loki’s room, you knocked softly on his door, not wanting to further irritate him without justification.

“Loki, are you alright?  What happened back there?”  You asked gently, pressing one hand to the door, to feel closer to the reclusive Asgardian.  You waited several minutes, with no response, before you tried to open the door.  It was locked, of course, so you sighed outwardly.

“Loki, I’m coming in.” You warned, before using your powers to create a hole through the door that you could step through.  You returned the door to a solid state before searching for Loki, but to no avail.  Having given up and figuring he was elsewhere, you laid down on his bed and waited.

However, you probably shouldn’t have curled into one of his pillows, as you had drifted into sleep not long afterwards.  You were jostled awake by a cold hand gently shaking your shoulder, and you looked up to see Loki with a melancholic expression. You swallowed nervously, but decided against leaving.

“Loki… I’m sorry for breaking into your room, but I-” you began while sitting up, but he cut you off by raising his hand.  He smiled softly, yet you could tell it wasn’t genuine, and then he sat beside you.

“All is well, darling.  I do believe you are in the wrong bed, however.  You’d best return to your lover, lest he grow worried that I have abducted you.  He already speaks of Thor claiming you, so surely he must be lacking in confidence.” He joked, but his grin did not reach his eyes.  His smile was quickly wiped away when you gave him an incredulous look.  "Have I overstepped-“ Loki began, but you cut him off by taking a risk and holding his cold hands in your own.  He kept his lips in a tight line, and gave you a questioning look.

"Loki, I have no lover.  I… do find myself interested in someone, but I’m currently single.” You explained vaguely, wishing you had the courage to tell the Asgardian how you felt.

“…You and the man of Sokovia are not courting, then?  He is always holding you and kissing you, and, well…” Loki gestured at your outfit, “You are currently wearing his clothing.” He noted, with distaste creeping into his tone.  You chuckled softly and leaned against your long-time friend.

“Pietro and I are purely platonic.  We’re just comfortable with one another, and as to the clothes, I already told you that he likes to replace my wardrobe with his own.  I simply go along with it because he’s my best friend.  Plus, I love blue and silver.  They are one of my favorite color combos, as well as my favorite colors.”  You explained with a smile, but you took on a confused expression when you noticed Loki’s pensive look.  You sat up, and gently brushed back strands of his hair to draw his attention.  He looked at you with a hopeful expression, and you were taken aback for a moment.  He pressed his forehead to yours, and you tried to fight a blush at the intimacy of the situation.

“Then tell me, who is this man or woman, they who hold your affections?”  He asked, intertwining his fingers with yours.  "They are a lucky mortal.“ He added softly, and you had to admit defeat to your blush.  You opened and closed your mouth like a fish, but the words were caught in your throat.  Maybe you didn’t need to flat out tell him?  It was worth a shot…

"Th-They aren’t… mortal.” You whispered, hoping he would realize the truth.  However, his angry expression portrayed a very different understanding.  He stood abruptly and moved to pace around his bedroom.

“Thor?  You hold affections for that oaf?  Will the runner’s words hold true?  Do you wish to be-” Loki stopped and growled when he realized you used your powers to brace the floor around his legs to stop his angered pacing.  "Release me, woman!“

"Loki, calm down!  I don’t like Thor!” You exclaimed as you took wary steps towards the volatile God.  "I’m just friends with your brother.“  You clarified in a leveled voice, hoping to calm Loki as you stood in front of him.

"Then who?  Sif?  Hogun?  Volstagg?  Norns… is it Frandral?” He listed, dearly hoping that you had enough sense of mind to not fall for Frandral.  Loki didn’t like the idea of you being with any of them, but his chilled blood boiled at the thought of Frandral using you like any other momentary infatuation.  You took a deep breath and held his face between your hands, which seemed to surprise him.  You summoned all of the bravery you had developed as an Avenger, and pressed a soft kiss to Loki’s cheek.

“I thought you were the smart prince…” You noted softly, hoping to make light of the situation, and distract from your previous action.  Loki simply blinked in surprise, and moved one hand to touch his cheek, but he took hold of your hand instead.  You waited with bated breath for his next action.

He quickly pulled you into a tight embrace, which you fondly returned.  You gripped the back of his outfit and wished to remain that way, but that hope was crushed when he began to pull away.  However, you were shocked still when Loki pressed his chilled lips to yours.  You let out a soft noise of contentment as you returned the kiss, moving your hands to his dark hair. Loki’s arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, and remained that way when you pulled apart.

“I have longed for this for a while now, my darling… but…” He began, and you were surprised to see his expression turn sad. You softly ran your fingers through his long locks as encouragement.  "Why me?  You know what I am, and what I’ve done…“ He asked, and you sighed deeply.  You returned his floor to its natural state and lead him to sit at the foot of his bed.

"Loki, I don’t care about that stuff… Being a jotun doesn’t make you any less important, and sure, you wrecked New York, but…”  You paused, and he gripped your hands to silently implore you to continue.  "The you that I’ve come to know is a good man.  You’re one of my dearest friends, and I don’t think I could have feelings for you if I thought you were bad for your actions or bloodline.  You’re just… you, Loki.“  You tried to explain with a small smile, still struggling to tell him how you felt.  Kissing him at least took away your fears of rejection, but this felt almost surreal.  Loki was silent for a short while, before returning a gentle smile and raising your hands to his lips.

"You truly are special, lady (Y/N).  I apologize for my outburst, and if you will allow me, I would like to pursue our shared emotions…” he stated, but it seemed like there was something else he wanted to say.

“Of course, Loki, I’d love to…” You responded, biting your lower lip to try to contain yourself.  Loki smiled brightly and reconnected with your lips, pulling you into a deep kiss.  He carefully pushed you back onto his bed.  His cold fingers slid under the fabric of your shirt, but he frowned and pulled away.  He withdrew his hand and sighed, while he supported himself above you by keeping his arms at your sides.

“Now that we are courting, may I ask… Could you refrain from wearing the runner’s clothes?  I do not want anyone mistaking such a thing as his claim over you, as I did…” He asked softly, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sure.  Pietro will be bummed, but he probably started doing it to try to get a reaction out of you… He and Wanda have known about my feelings for a while.”  You admitted, and Loki raised a brow.

“Oh?  Who else knew of your affections?  Please, don’t tell me your minimal red wardrobe comes from Thor…” He groaned with distaste, but that was replaced with curiosity when you chuckled lightly and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“The twins were the only ones who knew.  But you know, I wouldn’t be opposed to another wardrobe twist.  My top favorite color combination is blue and green, after all.”  You noted, to which Loki sent you his devious grin that you loved so much.

“Oh, darling… I cannot wait to see you draped in our colors, or nothing at all.”  He growled deeply, which caused a deep blush to bloom on your face.

You were going to respond, but then, Tony’s voice rang through the building.

“Fuck yeah!  Suck it, speedy!  I won the bet; Reindeer Games and (Y/N) just got together.”

You groaned loudly and Loki gave you a questioning look.  You chuckled softly and moved to sit up.  He followed your actions, but secured his arms around your waist.

“So, you know how Tony and Pietro were betting on whether Thor or I would win our wrestling match?  Well… They were also betting on if, or I guess when, I’d tell you how I felt.”  You explained with an embarrassed tone, but found yourself smiling at Loki’s calm yet content expression.

“At least I no longer need to worry about the apparent 'playboy’ trying to steal you away.”  He stated, before pulling you back into a chilled kiss.

How to deal with an unhealthy INFP

So I have seen some posts about how to help an unhealthy INFP and as I am an INFP myself I thought I would give my two cents. Especially because there were some things I didn’t agree with. I'm not an expert on this and I am simply speaking for myself here in the hope that some other INFPs will relate. And of course, no two INFPs are the same.

First of all, I said ‘ deal with’ rather than ‘help’ for a few reasons. INFP’s are generally - or at least deep down on the inside - vulnerable, emotional and self conscious people. This sensitivity means we are going to have our low points - a lot. These low points can be really clear and concerning to others, or it could be more subtle as it fluctuates. Basically these low points are inevitable - regardless of the form they take. INFPs can also be quite stubborn and distant when unhappy so any attempt to help will be in vain and leave you feeling frustrated. Rather than trying to ‘help’ them so you can fix them, I advise that you simply acknowledge and accept them as they are. Know that eventually it will pass, but it’s vital also to remember that it will return again at any point. (This of course does not apply if you are seriously concerned for their mental health in which case you should encourage them to seek professional help). 

Words that best describe unhealthy me:

  • Moody (grumpy/serious and/or mood swings - cannot take pleasure in things the way I do when I’m healthy)
  • Stubborn 
  • Easily frustrated (can get unnecessarily angry about things that would not usually effect healthy me)
  • Forgetful (about physical possessions and events in mine and friends lives)
  • Disregard for physical possessions (Messy room - like REALLY messy, dirty clothes, un-organised uni books etc)
  • Distant, guarded, quiet, private (to a point where I can come off as cold and unfriendly)
  • Fatigued, sleep-deprived.
  • Uncaring and self-centred (it’s all still there deep down inside but it’s hard for me to focus on external things when I’m unhappy/tired)
  • Lost sense of humour. 

Sometimes these things don’t shine through as I can still act interested or like I find something funny even if I really don’t.

For me personally some signals that I’m probably stressed and unhappy include: losing personal possessions/leaving things behind more often and getting sick, always tired.

What to do:

  1. Give me space. I mean this in the most literal way possible. When I’m not doing good the last thing I need is someone being close in proximity or trying to be physically affectionate (healthy me is the opposite as I do not ever feel comfortable expressing affection in words and prefer to opt for hugs and close proximity). Sometimes great hugs can feel relieving, but generally speaking - unless I’ve got the hots for you - don’t touch me (please and thank you). I need to be left alone completely. If you want to contact me - use social media and I will respond if I want to. Please do not demand attention or affection from me. This ties in a lot to the way I become distant and quiet when unhealthy. I cannot explain why I feel any of these ways, but I do and I need space to combat it. I am usually guarded with everyone except for my closest friends and family, but when unhealthy I become distant to everyone. It will pass. Like a cat, you need to wait for me to come to you on my own terms.

  2. Patience. I’m just going to apologise for this one. Sometimes I will be self-centred and even though I’m thinking of them, I will not show support, care or friendship for those I care about and their struggles. I will be stubborn, short-tempered and probably quite irritating. All of which I am sorry for. (But also if you keep your distance you probably won’t have to deal with this as much). 

  3. Don’t use guilt. Please don’t make me feel guilty for not being affectionate, social, interested or open. Guilt is like poison to me and will eat away at my insides and will definitely not improve anything. I cannot help the way I feel, nor do I want to feel this way but I do and you need to let me breathe. 

  4. If you are frustrated be open and honest. One of the things I hate most is passive aggression. It makes me furious. (Surprisingly a lot of posts have described unhealthy INFPs as being passive aggressive which astonishes me. I cannot imagine ever being passive aggressive. I internalise and do not tend to let my anger out or show people when I am annoyed with them. I am more likely to be blunt and honest - if provoked - than passive aggressive. Or I will vent to a friend. I cannot be passive aggressive or tell people what I think to their face because it feels cruel and unnatural. It is just not possible for me. My anger goes deep down inside and then explodes later when my anger bank is full). Find a time to speak to me gently about what is on your mind and I am 10x more likely to listen and take it on board. 

That’s it for now. We are all complex beings and even this lengthy post doesn’t really do me justice. 
If you relate to this please let me know. If you need more help dealing with someone like this feel free to ask me things. IF YOU DISAGREE/DO NOT RELATE AS AN INFP LET ME KNOW BECAUSE I AM CURIOUS.

Neymar [EXTRA LONG] Long Imagine; [I'm requesting a smut imagine about Neymar having a crush on you but he's with Bruna. She's really jealous of your relationship with him and they get in a huge fight, afterwards you come over to comfort him and it ends up getting intimate. She comes back to get one of her things and walks in on you two but Neymar doesn't really care and neither do you]

I had just gotten off the phone with my best friend Neymar and he had invited me to his house warming party. Him and his girlfriend Bruna had just moved house probably because of the relationship problems they were having. Ney had briefly told me about them but I knew he wasn’t telling me the full story. It was none of my business anyway but I hated seeing one of my best friends so upset. I quickly put on a bit of mascara, eyeliner and deep crimson lipstick. I pinched my cheeks so they gained some color and called a cab.
Once I arrived at the house warming party I knocked on the door nervously. I think I looked okay. Well better than usual because I had put on my brand new dress which was revealing but classy all the same. I had also put on very high heels which was very stupid of me as I would probably be falling about all night but these were the only ones that matched my dress. Whilst thinking about the ludicrous length of my heels the door swiftly opened and I was met by a smiling Neymar and a surprised Bruna. The party was almost definitely in full swing as Ney moved to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you for coming! Welcome!” He beamed and I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a small hug to which he returned. I could see Bruna from over his shoulder scowling at me and I had no idea why. 
“Hi Y/N” she gave me the fakest smile she could muster whilst pulling Ney away from me and wrapping her arm around his waist.
“Hello Bruna” I replied casually smoothing out my dress. What was her problem? Why did she hate me so much?
I quickly excused myself before the situation got any more awkward and went to get a drink. As I was leaving I could hear Bruna hissing at Neymar “why did you have to fucking invite her?” 
She was fuming and my anger began to build. How dare she be so horrible to me for absolutely nothing? 
I saw Ney hiss something to her just as harshly whilst moving away from her but he was just out of earshot. As I moved towards the bar I saw Marc one my friends that I hadn’t seen in a while and his eyebrows raised in surprise followed by a grin when he saw me which made my heart flutter. At least someone is nice to me. As I approached him he gave me a kiss on the cheek and wrapped his strong arms around me in a warm and comforting hug. We began to catch up on all of the things that had happened recently and in no time I was in stitches from laughing so hard. Marc placed his hand loosely around my waist and I leaned into him. These heels were really killing my feet! I saw Ney through a crowd and I could see he wasn’t happy as a sour expression took over his handsome features and his jaw clenched. I felt bad for being in such a happy mood when the host of the party was so upset so I explained to Marc that I would go and check on Ney and he removed his hand from my waist and nodded in approval. I smiled and made my way upstairs seeing as that was the last place I had seen Ney go. 
As I make my way upstairs I am stopped by a very flushed and angry Bruna.
“Listen here bitch I know you’re a whore who sleeps with every guy who says hello but you better leave Neymar alone” she spits and I gasp.
What !? I blink rapidly utterly stunned.
“My boyfriend is not interested in you at all and we have just moved house to have a fresh start. He doesn’t need reminders nor you confusing his feelings and I don’t need you encouraging him and stringing him along away from me.” She adds and all color drains from my face.
Before I can say anything in retaliation she spots a friend and moves away from me with one last cold look and I breathe a sigh of relief, trying to relive what just happened. Did it happen !??
I tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and go upstairs into the room which I assume is the one Neymar is in as all the others have their doors wide open. 
I knock cautiously and hear an angry ‘go away’ from a familiar voice. I go ahead and open the door anyway and I’m met with Neymar looking outside the huge glass window. 
“I said go aw-” he begins turning around but his eyes soften when he sees it’s me.
“Y/N” he breathes.
“Yeah it’s me. I know you said you didn’t want anyone in here but I’m worried about you. You seemed angry before are you okay?” I ask concerned moving towards him. 
“Yeah I’ll be fine it’s just Bruna. We just got into a fight and she just .. I don’t know what to do” he sighs and moves closer towards me. He takes my hand and sits me down on the edge of the bed.
“No kidding. All due respect Ney but she is a bitch. She just screamed at me about leading you on and messing with your feelings downstairs. I have no idea what she’s talking about” I almost laughed at what seemed to be a laughable situation.
“She did what?” He snarled standing up. 
“How dare she? I specifically told her to not say anything but she never listens.”
“I’ll go talk to her” he says sternly and I quickly got up too.
“Ney please just leave it. I’m only a little bit shaken up but she’s just worried about you. I don’t know what she means about me messing with your feelings and confusing you though…” I say placing my small hands on his chest. He lets out a small sigh and 
places my hands around his neck.
I gaze at him with a ‘what are you doing?’ look and he moves closer to me so that his face is right in front of mine. His hands are placed firmly on my hips and I look up to meet his almond green eyes and his pupils dilate.
“I hadn’t noticed how beautiful your eyes are” he says in a deep low voice and his hands move towards my face. My mind begins to race and a million thoughts run through my head. 
“I’m in love with you” he whispers hoarsely and my eyes widen in shock.
“What? Ney you’re not.. thinking straight .. you have a girlfriend who hates me remember .. ?” I remind him timidly but my heart lurches and my pulse begins to quicken at his sweet words. His knuckles graze my cheekbones and I move my face into his palm so that his hand his cupping my cheek. My conscious and my hormones are battling it out but my conscious loses as I wrap my hands around his neck and bring my lips to his plump ones. As my lips touch Ney’s I feel his sharp intake of breath. I have no idea what I’m doing but I can’t stop. I can taste the faint hint of mint and alcohol on his tongue and he opens his mouth and really kisses me. My entire body feels like it’s been ignited and I don’t recall ever feeling like this. He cups my flushed cheek and his hands move to my hips. He places me slowly on the bed planting a small kiss on my lips and breathing my name once more. 
“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this” he whispers his hot breath fanning my face. Ney pulls me by my hips closer to him as he lays back, never breaking the kiss. His skin is hot and his chest is moving up and down, from his rapid breathing. 
Before I can comment on it I hear the familiar voice of Bruna getting louder and louder. 
Before I have anytime to move from Ney’s lap she walks in mid speech and once she sees me and her boyfriend her face turns puce. 
My heart hammers and I climb off her boyfriends lap swiftly and try to cover my cleavage that somehow was spilling out of my dress. When did he even unzip my dress? 
“What the fuck is this!?” She almost screams. Her voice is a deadly combination and in that moment I am actually afraid of her and for her. I’ve just been caught messing around with her boyfriend, the love of her life. What was I even thinking?
“Bruna I’m sorry” he mumbles weakly.
“You know what this is the last straw and I’m done. Done with this relationship that it seems only I am trying in and I’m done trying to make a go of things. I love you how could you do this to me!?” She questions seething. Uncontrollable tears seem to roll down her face as she begins to shake and I find my cheeks are wet too. 
“I’m sorry it happened this way Bruna I really am” he says moving towards her.
She immediately retreats as a harsh ‘don’t touch me’ fall from her lips. 
He runs his hands through his hair and he seems frustrated. I feel for him but I feel for his poor girlfriend more. 
Bruna grabs a small duffle bag and begins to pack her things as me and Ney watch in astonishment. She’s leaving him? This is all my fault I have to say something.
“Bruna I’m so sorry this is all my doing. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I try to explain but she shoots me an arctic glare which sends shivers down my spine and silences me instantly. 
“Shut up you stupid bitch. Of course this is all your fault. I always knew you were a whore who couldn’t keep her legs closed.”
Neymar opens his mouth in fury and I shake my head forcefully and give him a ‘please don’t say anything’ look and he grits his teeth, his jaw clenching in anger.
“I’ll be back tomorrow to get the rest of my things” she says sounding tired and defeated.
Neymar doesn’t reply as she throws her bag over her shoulder and exits the room and I see a tear falling slowly down her cheek.
“Are you okay?” He breathes moving towards me and cupping my cheeks.
“I’m fine but you really should go after Bruna. She’s so upset.” I tell him but he shakes his head with an impassive expression.
“I love you not her. I care about her but I care about you more. I’ve slowly but surely been falling in love with you. I’ve tried to stop it and tell myself that I want Bruna instead and not my best friend. But I just can’t. I can’t help what my heart wants .. ” he trails off and I am in awe. My eyes have widened in shock and my heart is beating so loud I’m sure he can hear it. He runs his hand through his hair which is a telltale sign that he’s either frustrated or confused. A brief flash of worry creeps over his eyes and he continues speaking but it’s not what I thought he’d say.
“Oh my god. What have I done? You don’t feel the same way right? I’ve just completely embarrassed myself in front of the person I care most about. I’m so so-” he blurts flustered but I shut him up with my lips. I give him a deep meaningful kiss and once he realizes that I’m kissing him he quickly returns it with the same desperation and I seize my opportunity. I begin running my fingers through his hair, grasping two handfuls and kissing him back while invading his mouth with my tongue. He pulls away breathless and flushed and I realize that I probably look the same way he does. 
“So you feel the same way?” He smiles his handsome smile that I’ve become fond of.
“Yes I feel the same way baby” I breathe returning his smile and he chuckles wrapping his sturdy arms around my waist and pulling me into his warm embrace.
“What are you going to do about Bruna?” I mutter into his ear.
“I don’t know. She’ll calm down then we’ll talk. I don’t want to leave on bad terms. But it’s fine it’ll be alright when she calms down. I want you not her.” He mumbles calmly into my ear and I smile into his shoulder. He’s finally mine I think to myself and my grin widens in happiness.

Creepypasta #388: I Don't Think I'm Real

5:30 am

My Alarm clock goes off. I wake up and hear a tapping noise coming from my window. I turn to it and see nothing but the still dark sky and the other apartment buildings in the complex I live in. I dismiss it as my half-asleep brain continuing its ceaseless quest to make my life a living hell, or as close to it as one can get.

I hit snooze, hoping to slip into unconsciousness for just a little longer before beginning the day, but the tapping continues and I eventually get back up to look at the window again. Nothing.

Sometimes I hate my brain.

I fall back asleep and wake up again at 5:42. I decide today will be a wake-up-late-and-rush-to-get-ready type of day and hit snooze again. I wake up at 5:56 and begin to start my morning routine. I throw my clothes on, brush my teeth, put on deodorant, and grab some pop-tarts to eat in the car. All of this was done by 6:01. I’ve gotten this routine down to a science because I do it pretty much every morning. I go to work and begin my never-ending grind. I take a lunch break around noon and go to subway. I think I see something in the corner that looks like a person, but I look back and it’s empty.

“Guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” I say to myself as I go to the counter to get my usual artery clogging meatball sub.

I finish my sub and go to the bathroom to wash up and pee. As I’m washing my hands I notice something strange. It’s like my reflection isn’t… In sync with me. I put my hands in the water, and so does my reflection, but a split second later. Again, I chalk this up to not having enough sleep, but as I was leaving, I could have sworn it smiled when I definitely did not.

I go back to work and say a casual “hey” to my coworkers as I pass them, but every one of them ignored me. Guess they’re not in the mood to talk. I go to my manager’s office to ask him if I can have a day off next week (Doctor’s appointment, nothing important), but he ignores me, too. He acts like I’m not even there. I wave my hand in front of his face, but he is unphased. At this point, I’m aware that something isn’t right, but I wasn’t sure if he was just being a dick (He was pretty well known for being one around the office). Finally, I go back to my cubicle and go to sit down, when I see myself, sitting at the desk. I blink my eyes hard, thinking I’m just hallucinating, but after I open them, it was clear he was just as real as anything else. I begin breathing heavily, and he must hear me because he turns around, gives me a sly, almost knowing smile and turns back around. I stop thinking rationally at this point and start screaming. I expect people to react, to tell me to shut the hell up, or even ask if I was okay, but no one said a thing. No one even seemed to notice, which was more terrifying than anything else that had happened today. I don’t even remember leaving the office. What I do remember is people looking at me like I was crazy when I drove my car home. Even other drivers. I almost caused a few accidents because people couldn’t stop staring at me. I wonder what is so interesting about someone driving home.

I walk in my front door and go to the bathroom. As I’m leaving, I notice something in the mirror, or should I say lack of something. Me.

I wasn’t there. I walked right by it and never saw anything other than the wall behind me. And then it occured to me why people were looking at me so weirdly when I was driving. I don’t exist. To them the car was driving itsself because I’m not real. But I had to be. How else could I have even driven? How had I eaten my lunch. Why hadn’t someone noticed in subway?! The person who gave me my sandwich seemed to see me just fine, so why hadn’t anyone else? So many questions are running through my head right now, but not one single answer. As I’m sitting, trying to figure out what the hell is happening with my life when I hear my alarm clock go off.

“What the hell?” I think as I walk into my room. It wasn’t supposed to be going off right now. I look and see myself waking up. I’m pretty much in shock from the earlier events so my reaction to this was basically nonexistent, though inside my head was a hurricane of possible reasons why this was happeningh and even more reasons why the other reasons are wrong.

I’m surprised to see, however that the “me” in my bed doesn’t seem to notice me. Suddenly I get an idea. I go over to my window and tap on it 3 times. I see the other me turn to look at it, then turn back, hit snooze, and go back to sleep. I tap again, remembering when I heard the tapping that morning. The other me turns back around, sighs, and goes back to sleep. At precisely 5:42, he wakes up, hits snooze and goes back to sleep. At 5:56, he wakes up, gets ready, and leaves at 6:01 carrying pop-tarts.

I think I just got a little but closer to figuring this whole thing out.

Credits to: somekindoftimeshift

tinyconfusion  asked:

fic rec list please: fics you read after your soul has been crushed by angst (you know the ones you reread over and over again) .. i want to see if we share some :D

Haha, sure :D.

This is an extremely subjective list of what I would call my “go to comfort fics” that I return to again and again. Of course newer fics I’ve read aren’t on here since I haven’t had a chance to re-read them yet. 

Rated Teen or below

Hair of the Dog, ZephyrHawk

Because you have to face the morning eventually. A short sequel to In Vino Veritas. TenToo x Rose

In Good Spirits, rosa-acicularis

“Give me a month,” she says. “In a month, I’ll know what to say.” In which there is some angst, but mostly silly drunkenness. TenToo x Rose

In Orbit Around You, keep counting

‘Donna informs me that I am an insensitive bastard’. Rose returns, but things aren’t exactly brilliant. Yet. Ten x Rose

Keep reading

"I'm feeling a bit mentally under the weather, can we raincheck?"

File under: things I wish that people understood.

Mental health is just like physical health. Sometimes you feel symptoms coming on, and you know exactly how to nip it in the bud before it becomes more of an issue for which you may or may not need to seek professional medical attention.

And just like with physical health, some people experience mental symptoms with more frequency than others. Maybe some people just have really excellent mental health immune systems or something – I don’t know. If a mental health immune system is a thing, mine is pretty excellent now. My bad days are very rare, which used to not be the case. At all. But still - they happen from time to time, and if left unchecked and untreated, they can roll over into episodes lasting days or weeks or even months. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Over the course of many years of dedicated introspection and working on my brain, I have become very in tune with how to care for my person. Just like I know that if I begin to develop any semblance of chest congestion, I need a z-pack and a dose of oral steroids right away (lest it turn into a three month case of bronchitis), I know that if I am in a foul mood wherein everyone and everything enrages me and/or I lose interest in my day-to-day life (including tasks and relationships), I need to take a step back. Maybe even a few steps back.


Imagine you start to feel a bit achey and tired. Maybe your throat is getting a little scratchy. You intuitively know that you’re about to get sick, because this has happened before. Many times. So instead of going out to happy hour with your coworkers as you had planned, you let them know that you feel like you might be coming down with something, so you’re just going to go home and rest your body. They understand. “Feel better,” they wish to you.

Now imagine instead that your brain has become foggy. You are any emotion other than one that could be construed in the slightest as positive. You are not excited about your plans. Rather, you are dreading something that you usually look forward to. You tell your coworkers that you’re not in the best mood – you’re not feeling up to going out and you need some time for yourself, so you’re just going to stay in tonight and rest. Often, they do not understand. Rarely do you get well wishes.

Responses are generally frustrating, insensitive, and belittle how we feel.

  • “Did something bad happen?” (No… so I clearly have no right to feel this way, and now I feel worse that I feel this way “for no reason.” Thanks for that. Strong work.)
  • “_____ will be good for you.” (Since when do you know my needs better than I do? Just because it might work for you doesn’t mean that it will work for me. Your ignorance makes me want to throw fine china against a brick wall.)
  • “_____ will be disappointed if you don’t.” (Cool. Make me feel like an asshole for not doing the thing. I really need that extra layer of negativity.)

I wanted to want to ski yesterday. I did. I really, really did. I wanted to have fun with my friends. I wanted to play. But I can’t just gogogo all the time. Just like my body can only handle so much before it starts to break down, my brain needs time to repair itself, too.

I know some people are a little less comfortable being honest on this front. It’s easier to tell someone you have a headache or you’re feeling a bit nauseated than to tell them that you’re feeling anxious or sad or self-loathing, because people get that. Everyone can empathize with those physical feels. There’s still a stigma against expressing symptoms of poor mental health, though, and as a consequence, a lot of people don’t get it. I have no problem being honest about my mental health needs – I just wish that honesty was met with more compassion and understanding. I’d be a little less ragey.

tl;dr – I needed to take care of myself mentally by resting and recharging my brain last night, so I did that. And I refuse to feel guilty about it. As such, I feel great today. I did good. A+.

Woobin Magazine M Interview

T/N: I referred to J亲故乖巧又聪明o_O’s weibo when translating so the translation shouldn’t be too far off I think. (The last few questions were entirely based off Chinese translations because I should be packing my luggage now lol) I’d be going on a one week holiday probably without any internet so if anyone wants me to translate anything, inbox me and I’ll do it when I’m back. There is another magazine, MaxMovie Magazine, which I MIGHT do after I come back, if I don’t become too lazy. 

Q: Your first lead movie, Friend 2, was a box-office hit and there was much favourable comments about your acting.

I am most honoured. Even if it didn’t do as well in the box-office, it doesn’t change the fact that I feel honoured. When the movie opened, I was still filming “Heirs”. I felt sorry that I couldn’t go for almost any interviews and stage greetings. It was regrettable that I couldn’t repay the love received.

Q: Following, you took up “Criminal Designer” and “Twenty” one after another. It can be said that you are a lead actor who is “on a roll”.

It is true that I now have a wider range of choices than before. As such, there is a greater sense of need to fulfill the expectations people have. I will work hard to have a clearer sense of conviction when selecting projects.

Q: What type of conviction are you referring to?

Even now, I am still gradually building it, but I’ll pay more attention to the character I feel there is some similarity with me.

Q: In caper movies like “Criminal Designer”, the nature of the film generally stand out more than the character.

It is more of the scenario than the characters. It must be fun when I read it. I first received the scenario of this movie when I was filming “Friend 2”, and it was titled “Checkmate” at that time. Honestly, I am still unable to make a good judgement of projects. Afterwards, the dramatized version by director Kim Hong Seon was extremely interesting. The title also changed to the one now. That was around the time when “Heirs” ended.

Q: You are very quickly verifying your possibility as a lead actor.

Movies from the production company of Friend 2 (Trinity Entertainment) is a good chance for me. It was thanks to it that I have a good outlook.

Q: Jihyuk is a character who is good at breaking into vaults and counterfeiting money. If the movements are slightly awkward, the movie would be less exciting.

There are so many people breaking into vaults in the world, and everyone is trained under a different environment and have a different physique. I want to make a character that moves in a way that is unique to me. In the movie, there are also many tools to commit crimes, and this would increase the excitement of the movie.

Q: In all your films, there is an impression that you are never discouraged. How do you get this confidence?

It seems to be a little easier in front of the camera now, because it is fun on site. When I first started acting, I would tell myself “Please let it be okay, please”. Now, as opposed to anxiety, I have a greater desire for my acting. Every time I do monitoring, I would think that I am lacking, and I would want to minimize this.

Q: When you took up this movie, what was the greatest desire you had?

Even before me, the director has really a lot of desires. He is really persistent and we shot a lot and for a really long time (laughs)

Q: I heard you always prepare thoroughly before going on set.

When I first got in contact with acting, this was how I learnt. To give a reaction that fits the situation and co-actor, I would prepare at least ten different versions of saying my lines. Of course, there is no correct answer to acting, but I think there is at least a basic “dos and don'ts”.

Q: You should still have the natural flair for acting?

 I don’t have anything that is “in-born”. Everything was slowly discovered after a long time. And I would need to work hard for it too. Up till now, I feel that it is thanks to my stronger appearance, and I would also need to thank the characters which bring attention to a new actor like me.

Q: But your appearance might restrict you. A charismatic character like Jihyuk would be very suitable but would it fit a character that is like a boy-next-door?

When that time comes, I’ll just show everyone how I usually am at home. I am untidy to a degree beyond all your imaginations. 

Q: You seem to not have much worries.

I am the kind of person who would fix a goal and gradually work hard towards this goal. And I am originally more optimistic. To me, fixing a goal on a specific date and using all my energy to reach that is something that would never happen. I believe that no matter what it is, as long as I work hard under the given conditions, it is fine. I hear the people around me say that I am always acting as a rebellious character, and if it is perhaps time for this kind of characters to come to an end. I would say “I plan not to take on rebellious characters, but I don’t want to draw the line too clearly. With time, I want to find a way of action that is suitable for the current situation.”

Q: Because it is premiering at the end of the year, the competitors are strong. 

I want to let go and feel more relaxed. But my mood is still very good. Because aren’t there a lot of movies which have finished filming but can’t be screened. In comparison to that, I feel that I am very lucky. To have good co-actors like Go Chang-seok sunbae and Hyunwoo, and that I have a new piece of work to show everyone after last year, I feel very fortunate.

Q: You are really positive.

That’s right. (laughs)

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry my asks came across as rude and entitled, I definitely didn't mean for them to be. I think my wording was also poor because I was trying to condense space. I really only meant that it's discouraging to receive replies that makes you feel like the author doesn't care about your feedback or that you're bothering them. For example, someone getting really into a fic and leaving an excited message in all caps, and only gets a simple 'thanks' back, makes them feel like they were 1/4

overreacting and shouldn’t have left that comment at all, and then becomes self conscience when leaving comments in the future. If an author doesn’t reply to a comment at all, usually I’ll just completely forget I ever left it in the first place and that’s fine. If I follow an author elsewhere, it’s always nice to see even a generic post about how grateful they are for the comments. I understand what you’re saying and I understand how this is sounding entitled but the point I’m trying to 2/4 make is just that fanfiction has gotten into this poor slump of how things work, readers need to leave more comments because writers work hard on something and they love to hear how people like it, but it’s discouraging leaving a comment when they think they’ll be ignored or the author won’t care. I was just trying to point out that it’s sort of a vicious cycle, a back and forth of everyone feeling self conscious, and protecting themselves by staying detached, but I think to fix it, ¾ it takes both writers and readers, if that makes sense? But I am very sorry that you took my messages as insulting, I really never meant for them to be. 4/4

Thanks for writing again.

I want to start off by assuring that writers never ignore comments, that we love and appreciate them and and are usually beyond thrilled, the longer and more detailed they are. Comments honestly light up my day, pull me out of my darker moods, can leave me smiling for extended periods afterward. If you mention a specific line or plot twist you liked I’ll feel this extra surge of pride every time I read that line over again. Honestly, feedback encourages me to keep posting at all. And the more excited you sound or the more detailed review you give, the more we’re likely to appreciate it. So I get what you’re saying but please don’t think longer comments ever bother writers.

Let me talk through my personal experience with replying to comments, just to give you a sense from one author’s perspective.

When I first came on AO3 it honestly never occurred to me to reply to comments. I thought it I did it would seem like I was trying to make my fic seem more popular than it was (since on ff.net a fic’s popularity was generally gauged by number of reviews, and replying to comments would effectively double my fic’s numbers.) Then, when I saw that it was a semi-common practice for authors to reply to comments rather than it being frowned upon, I spent extended periods of time trying to give everyone a thoughtful and unique reply. Even if their comment was a word or two, I’d feel bad if I gave the same response more than once in a row. I thought that would seem inconsiderate or, like you said, like I didn’t really care. I worry about things like that.

So I’d spend 40 minutes trying to think of different, interesting ways to show my appreciation for the comments so it wouldn’t come across as false or ungrateful. (And guess how many people ever responded to my comments on their comments?) Anyway, my meticulous replies ended up taking a lot of time, which ate into my writing time quite a bit (along with other things).

And then I thought, maybe I’d only respond to the longer comments, the more detailed comments, or the ones that had questions. That makes sense, right? Until a friend mentioned how horrible they felt if they wrote a comment and went back and saw that the author had responded to other people and not to them.

So then was it better to respond to no one? Or to just give short, generic thank yous to everyone to at least make sure they got something and didn’t feel ignored?

It’s hard to know what to do – what’s expected, what “standard procedure” is, and what will make the readers feel appreciated in the limited time we have. And the fact still stands that we put a ton of time into our writing, editing, and posting.

So just remember, every time we put up a new story, that’s for you guys. Maybe we don’t have time to thank you all individually, but continuing to post, and taking fic prompts and doing events here on tumblr, that’s us showing our appreciation. That’s us thanking you for your support.

Anyway, thank you, seriously, for leaving detailed comments. You can trust that every time you do, you’re making the author’s day brighter, even if they aren’t able to give you a big response in return.