tl;dr: vegetables and babysitting
I report back to you from my adventures in Oscar Isaac’s Early Filmography with a review of Won’t Back Down:
- it’s about Women with Children Getting Shit Done, which as you know appeals to me as a genre
- Oscar Isaac plays the Sexy Girlfriend role, where he is essentially Maggie Gyllenhal’s prize for being a good person who Works Hard and who Cares about Society. we all deserve nice things, right?
- she already has the best clothes, but why settle for that?
- because you too deserve to be banging a hot ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER who LOVES THE KIDS and JUST WANTS TO TEACH! but he doesnt get the big picture about Society, you know? she does. she explains it to him. then he gets it.
- he brings food to her flat and cooks it
- the food involves vegetables
- is there a man in YOUR life who spontaneously cooks you vegetables? well woo fucking hoo for you if there is
- after cooking vegetables for her and her kid (oh yeah the kid’s there, this isn’t SEXY cooking, this is weeknight dinner) he lets her PULL his HAIR in the KITCHEN (he seems to really dig this part. i really dig this part. here’s a screencap of this part:)
- and possibly most importantly, he advances the plot by being her booty call babysitter.
- seriously! she just calls him up for a quick peck on the cheek and then leaves him entertaining her child with his ukulele so she can go out and CHANGE SOCIETY with Viola Davis
- do you know why Women with Children don’t get more shit done? We’re too busy buying and cooking vegetables and we can’t go the fuck out in the evening because of our KIDS
- kids listen to me I am 37
- one day you too will understand the power of my yearning for oscar isaac to come to my house, cook me vegetables and play the ukulele to my kids so i can GO THE FUCK OUT AND ADVANCE THE FUCKING PLOT ALREADY
In conclusion: what do women want? protagonism, vegetables and hot babysitters. next question.