wheres my chicken

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

anonymous asked:

Your mom killed your pet chicken and fed it to you?!?

STORY TIME

i was like 6 at that time and i asked my mom to buy me a pet chicken because i thought chickens were adorable and so she did buy one we were really broke at that time so my mom was working so hard and she had to get up early for work and that chicken would not shut up so one day i was at school and my mom didn’t have anything planned for lunch so and she wanted to get rid of that chicken so she cooked it for me and i ate it then i asked her where my chicken was and she said like straight to my face “you ate it” and i cried and the next day in school i told my teacher my mom is a murderer and my teacher believed me and after a few hours the cops took my mom and she spent hours explaining how she killed a god damn chicken not a human being and i got my ass whooped when she came back from the police station.

my town has been fighting with whether or not to let people in the town limits keep chickens and they finally decided that people could keep chickens but they have to be documented and something about people being busted for “undocumented chickens” is so absurd to me. Like the wording and the the whole situations is just idk

3

Introducing: my biases
↳ Jung Jaehyun, Neo Culture Technology (NCT)

oh my sweet baby jae, my favorite peachy baby 🍑 He’s my second ultimate bias and I’ve been hooked on him ever since his debut. He’s the perfect all-rounder, he can sing, dance, rap, write, you name it! I believe there’s nothing this boy cannot do. 

it’s so difficult to find photos for a young!grace & frankie graphic because young jane fonda dressed like frankie

and young lily tomlin dressed like a corporate butch lesbian grace

on second thought, i might just do a freaky friday-ish grace & frankie body-swap graphic instead

Seriously...

Every few weeks, a new season 2 spoiler comes out for the Miraculous Ladybug fandom.  I can understand a few tiny spoilers, but all of this “leaked” footage/scenes/graphics is ridiculous.

I refuse to believe that every single instance is because yet another person snuck into a panel and or production meeting to take pictures/steal video of a children’s tv show to post to the internet so they can get more likes on their blog, and no one notices this.  I’m imagining the same dude in a trench coat and various interchangeable disguises in each meeting, using a camera shaped like a pen or something to steal production content and the staff never catching on because they’re all “oh, that’s just Bob, he’s weird but he makes great coffee”.  Like, wtf?!

Also, WHY are there panels at conventions showing season 2 stuff if they didn’t want to spoil it?  Something doesn’t add up, you guys.  

That being said, the fandom is getting tired of this.  If it’s ZAG doing this to keep interest in the show, please stop.  If it’s randos trying to get more likes for their blog, please stop.  The first two spoilers were fun.  It’s time to stop.  Save some of the mystery for season 2.

Also, it looks like I need to go back on a few of my crack prediction posts for future eps and tag them as spoilers -_-

Megan and I bestow unto you this gif of Arya and a Chicken.

  • Max: Alright, just moved to Hawkins. I wonder what this town is like. I mean, it seems pretty normal-
  • Hopper: *in the background, being dragged away by the Bad Men™
  • Joyce: WHERE'S WILL AGAIN?!
  • Will: *transforming into the Thessalhydra*
  • Mike: *crying over boxes of Eggos*
  • Dr. Brenner: *returns but his body has cyborg pieces which he needs after being mauled by the Demogorgon*
  • Eleven: *battling Cyborg Papa while trying to console Mike*
  • Jonathan: I LOVE NANCY
  • Steve: I LOVE NANCY
  • Nancy: *swoons* I CAN'T DECIDE
  • Jonathan, Steve, Nancy: *soap opera bickering in the background*
  • Ted: WHERE DID ALL MY CHICKEN GO?!
  • Karen: WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT CHICKEN THAN ME!
  • Chicken: *becomes sentient and starts attacking the Wheeler house*
  • Barb: *returns from the dead as a zombie* I have returned...to seek...justice.
  • /
  • /
  • Max: ...well, fuck me, this is some strange shit.
  • Lucas: *bikes up to her* GURL, YOU THINK THIS IS STRANGE? THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET...STRANGER!
  • Dustin: *puts on sunglasses* YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!
announcement

the good news! remember in January when I went on hiatus to apply to grad school? remember in March when I went on a giant trip for a mysterious interview??

I’m pleased to announce I was accepted into my number one program!! I’ll be going off to graduate school in the fall to study fun things and work super hard. :3 I’m really REALLY excited. this is the culmination of a couple years of hard work and a whole lot of onion stress, so I’m just. I’m really, really happy. (my number one school!!!) 

bad news: I have a lot of things to figure out in the next few months, not least of which is how I’m funding this. Like most educational programs in this country, this one comes with a giant price tag that’s currently entirely insurmountable for me. So - dream on one hand, money on the other. I don’t yet know how it’ll balance, or if it even will. (anyone have an extra 100k lying around?) The school’s also on the complete other side of the country, so I have a giant move and adventure ahead.

On top of all this, I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself to get fic and fandom events done and it’s spiraled out of control. I don’t possess a strong ability to say no to people or fun activities, so it’s just built up to the point where this self-imposed level of anxiety and stress is not healthy for me. So I’m stepping back from tumblr for a little while to see if I can’t get a handle on everything - IRL stress, fic stress, any or all of the above.

Worse news, maybe: I’m going on hiatus for a while. I have some things queued and will be around to do a thing or two (events I’m running), but for the most part I’m not here. This also means no Hunk Day or Shiro Day for the foreseeable future. If you’d like to take up one of those please shoot me a message and I’ll walk you through it :) it’s not hard.

tldr; I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL, I’m more stressed than I should be, I’m going on hiatus at least for a bit <3 tag me or @ me or drop me a message if there are things you want me to see in the meantime. I’ll respond when I can. :)

Thank you all for your support!