• steering me in the right direction • #nautical #naturallight #ship #jacuzzi #light #rustic #rusticfolk #window #water #beach #blue #onwardandupward #wheredoigofromhere #minimal #minimalist #minimalism #minimalistic #simple #window #steeringwheel #shipswheel

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i’m so scared that i’ll never find my niche. i love doing so many different things, but nothing i can see myself making a career out of. i want to be something great, but how can i do that when i don’t even know where to start. everyone around me seems to know where they want to be. how can i know where to be, if i don’t even know who i want to be. the future is a scary thing, i just hope i’m ready for it.

college dropout

I wonder how many people are actually in school because that’s where they wanna be.. I know for a fact that’s not the case for me. I just cant help but think while Im sitting in these boring ass classes, listening to these boring ass professors lecture me about shit I dont give a fuck about. I know at the end of the day college is suppose to help you. I get that. go to school to earn a degree so you’re not stuck working at a drive thru asking niggas if they want fries with that for the rest of your life. but SCHOOL IS NOT FOR ME. I just wanna get it tattooed across my damn forehead so it can be made very clear. I dont know what the fuck I wanna be in life.. I dont know what I wanna do with the rest of my life, and I dont know where Ill be in the next 5 years. but sitting in a shitty class, filled with all this stress is not helping me find that out. I feel like Ive wasted 2 precious years of my life that could’ve been spent finding myself or finding something to do with my life. why do I say this? because when Im done with college Im still gonna have to find a damn job. I had a job over the summer, and when summer came to an end I was offered the position full time. obviously the answer was clear to me. I wanted to say fuck school and stay there. stack my bread and save up to move! I wanna move to atlanta someday.. someday soon. and I just feel that slipping from my very fingers because I feel like I dont have anything going for me. yeah Im in school but for what! just because you have a degree doesnt mean shit. its plenty people out here with degrees, yeah like that shit matters. I bet a homeless man is using his degree for a fucking pillow right now. I just feel like giving up because school is slowly breaking me down. and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make me feel otherwise. I only have about 2 months left of school but I just feel like Im slowly withering away.. I just wanna be successful I dont know how many times I have to say that. I wanna be able to provide for my family and make sure they never have a want in the world. family is all I got. I dont have friends, and if anybody tells you that their a god damn liar. I have acquaintances. people I might speak to and hang out with on occasions, but at the end of the day nobody gives a shit about you like family does. I just want everything my parents have done for me to actually mean something. I dont want to be a nothing.. I dont wanna be a failure. but they dont teach you that in school folks.