(life was never worse, but never better) You were struggling to find your room key, stopping once you were inside the hotel doors, smiling at the doorman as you stood paused in the lobby. You finally grabbed onto it, rounding the corner to the large bank of elevators, letting Liam know you were on your way up with the food with a text. You heard the squeals and murmuring to your right, so you shifted the food out of your hand, giving the fans a small wave. You were halfway into the elevator when you caught the harsh words of a fan, “Whore.” Which left a ringing in your ears all the way up the your 17th floor room. You dumbly walked to your room, understandably upset, opening the door blindly. You were almost ready to cry when you took in the sight in front of you. Liam was sat on the edge of the bed, smiling widely, his eyes crinkled like always, sans shirt and pants. “Batmans on! And you have Chinese!” He said, getting up to greet you, taking the bag out of your hands and dropping a quick kiss to your head. “Some fan called me a whore.” You said after a beat, as Liam paused as he was rifling through the bag. He gave you a worried look, and you shrugged. “Heard worse. You should’ve seen my feed last night. Apparently me touching Zayn’s shoulder is evidence that we’re sleeping together.” You said, glancing down. All the hate hurt. It was impossible to ignore, and your self esteem had taken some blows. But Liam was standing there with those eyes and some lo mein in his hand as he grabbed you into his bear hugs, and it faded away like usual.
(i reach for you, but you were gone, I knew I had to go back home) You held out Louis’ shoe and he took it silently, tossing it into his bag. You grabbed the t-shirt he held out to you, folding it neatly before placing it in your suitcase. You handed your favorite shirt of his over, finding it at the bottom of your suitcase, you having worn it a week ago. He glanced at it for a moment, then back at you and shook his head, pushing your hand back. You held his eyes for a moment and swore you saw him again. The Louis who wasn’t pushing you away, and wasn't drowning in pressure from all sides, but rather the Louis who woke you in the middle fo the night for ice cream, or decided they could be five minutes late to stage because he had to kiss you longer. “My flight leaves in an hour.” You said, zippering up the suitcase finally after adding his shirt. You’re sure that would hurt later, but it also hurt to let it go. “Okay. Security will drop you there.” He said nodding and avoiding your eyes. You chewed on the side of your cheek. “I better get going but I…” You trailed off, seeing as he was interested in the carpet rather than your face. “I just want you to know that it’s always been you for me, you know? And this isn’t going to change that. I’ll still be anything you need me to be, and if this is what you need, okay; but please find the boy I love. Everyone misses him.” Louis nodded minutely, looking at you one final time. If you shoved through the exhaustion and the pressure and the stress, you could find love, and that alone gave you strength to walk out the door.
(but there were strangers watching, and whispers turned to talking, and talking turned to screams) Zayn slammed the door behind him and you snapped your head to him, your purse being tossed on the couch. You heartbeat was loud in your ears, because this was not the Zayn you knew. The angry Zayn you knew would mumble to himself, have a cigarette, kick the stoop a few times and come back in. But him slamming the car door was shocking, him mumbling to himself all the way home was too, but him slamming his door was the last straw. “Stop! Just stop!” You said, shaking your hands. “This isn’t you! So people found out, and now of course the rumours are going to fly, but my god, stop!” You shouted. “It’s just-” Zayn couldn’t finish , rubbing his hand over his mouth. “It’s bullshit, it’s all such bullshit. The things they say about me, about the boys, and now about you. It’s just.” Zayn shook his head, leaving out the door. You took a deep breath, following him quickly, not shocked to find him seated and a cigarette lit. “We knew they were watching us like hawks. I know we wanted to lay low, but Zayn, it’s hard. And so they know, that’s fine. But what we can’t do is scream at each other every time everyone outside our relationship has something to say. In a lot of ways, thats what they want.” You said, reaching over to grab the cigarette out of his hands and put it out. “Take a few deep breaths, know I love you, and then come back in.” You said patting his shoulder as he managed a small smile.
(haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds?) The tension in the room was breathing. You could feel it, making your nerves stand up, and it was clear Niall was aware of it, his hands sitting on his lap wringing together every so often. “I’m serious you two; talk. Bunch of teenagers, honestly don’t know how you both are so daft its mind boggling..” Harry’s low tenor was making it’s way through the door, trailing off as he walked away, mumbling to himself. Everyone at some point in their life has that one person where you both know something is there, you can basically reach out at touch it. Sometimes it fades, people act on it slowly, or the levee just breaks and all hell breaks loose. With the way you and Niall launched yourselves at each other last week, you two certainly fell in the last category. “What do we do now?” You asked quietly. You asked glancing at him. You sighed to yourself, knowing that if you two decided to do nothing, and act like that chemistry wasn't there, it was going to hurt like all hell. “We could be smart. Because I leave in a week for three months and I’ve never had a long distance relationship, and we wouldn't risk our friendship.” Niall spoke quickly, you mind rushing with his accent to keep up. You nodded minutely, before he spoke again. “Or we can stop lying to ourselves and let the curious side of us take over. See what happens. It could be great.” He said smiling at you. “It could be.” You agreed, your own grin crawling up your face.
(you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had, and in the end, in wonderland, we both went mad) You threw your hair up as you jogged to grab the door, swinging it open. “Hey just-” You cut yourself off when the figure was clearly not the friend you were expecting. Rather a very worn down looking Harry in a gray sweatshirt and a beanie, his aviators covering his eyes. “You’re hungover.” You stated, Harry snorted quietly, nodding his head. “Very.” It had been three months since you had seen him in person, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t everywhere. In your house, finding pieces of him everywhere, and on all the magazines too, of course. Harry entered without you telling him too, heading straight for the living room to grab a tabloid that sat on your table. “This girl was nice, she spoke really pretty spanish. The girl before her was some sort of dancer, the one before that said two words to me before she asked if I was taking her home. It’s just- you’ve really fucked me up you know that. And with these as evidence, and the fact that you probably don’t realize, but those are my joggers, have I done the same?” You were blindsided, “Harry I-” “No, just tell me we made a huge mistake and that you feel like you’re going mad when I’m not here. Please.” He said, strained. “You couldn’t find anyone else, could you?” You managed out. He shook his head as you nodded, “Me either.”
look cassandra managed to title it something other than just the song name. gold star for me. this one is a little heavier? i don't know, i'm in a mood. hope you enjoyed! be nice to people! plant a tree! i dont know!