it always confuses me when superman gets drawn burlier than batman. i mean we dance around it but superman is basically super strong due to space magic. he could be a weedy lil string bean and he’d still be able to lift a bus. i’m not saying the muscles don’t help, or that he doesn’t probably have magic space muscles. i’m just saying, all of batman’s strength is muscle-dependant. he has no space magics. in my head he is the more burly of the two just out of necessity. i know he’s kind of got the gymnast thing going on but like. i imagine bruce wayne as more barrel-y and clark kent as more dorito-y. i don’t know why i’m telling you this except that i’m dealing with the realization that this is not the standard assumption.
Andrew Minyard and cats will never not mean everything to me. Consider these concepts:
Consider: Andrew silently assigning the cats percentage points when he’s annoyed not that he’ll ever admit it out loud
Andrew Minyard telling the cats “I hate you” as often as he tells Neil.
Andrew Minyard then proceeding to feed them and allows the cats to gently headbutt his hands in appreciation
King Fluffkins coughing up a hairball and Andrew freezing up and cautiously staring at the cat because? what is he supposed to do??
Andrew keeps his reaction impassive, but he cleans up the hairball diligently anyways and make sure to keep the cat in his sight for the rest of the day
(If Neil catches on that he’s being nicer that day than he usually is, well, Neil knows when to keep his mouth shut)
Consider: one of the cats getting food poisoning and really sick
Andrew literally dropping everything he’s doing to rush to the vet
Andrew Minyard walking in and dumping the poor cat on the alarmed receptionist’s desk
Andrew keeping his face neutral as always but for once he really is concerned.
The vet asking for the cat’s name.
Andrew deadpanning “Sir Fat Cat McCatterson”
Andrew upping the cat’s percentage points to 275%
He’s also upping Neil’s percentage points for getting him into this damn mess
Consider: Andrew confiding Renee about what happened
Renee knowing a surprising amount of knowledge about cats (she volunteered at an animal shelter a while back) and telling Andrew if he ever has any questions he could come to her. Andrew wishing he could glare at Renee over the phone
Renee being Helpful™
and gifting him a book the next time he sees her
Andrew Minyard browsing the Internet and library to find books like “The Cat Owner’s Manuel” in case anything happens again
Consider: Andrew lounging around his apartment reading the books
Andrew bringing the books with him to practice or to out-of-state games
Andrew glaring at anyone who comments on them
Andrew does not murder Neil for smiling when he sees him with the books for the first time, but he does add +1% to his hate meter
Andrew Minyard reading the cat food ingredients carefully the next time he goes grocery shopping
Consider: Andrew and Neil finally coming home at last after a really tiring flight. Them curling up on the couch & the cats jumping up to greet them
Neil tiredly and softly whispering greetings and praises in Russian
(Neil’s and Andrew’s Russian are very good by now. They use it a lot at home)
Consider: The cats learning to understand basic Russian commands
Consider: The cats being part of Andrew and Neil
Consider: Andrew growing to love hate them as fiercely as he loves hates Neil
Consider: The cats growing to be part of why Andrew lives through each day
Now consider: One of the cats dying.
“Should we bury him?” “I thought you were more in the habit of burning bodies.” “Can you not be an asshole right now?”
But because I don’t want to end on a sad note, here’s a bonus:
Imagine Kevin Day meeting the cats for the first time.
Imagine Sir Fat Cat hating him.
Sir hisses at him. Sir tries to scratch him. Sir snarls whenever Kevin gets too close
Kevin catches on pretty quickly he’s unwanted and takes great pains to avoid Sir Fat Cat whenever he goes to Andrew and Neil’s apartment
Kevin tries to pet King Fluffkins next, but King Fluff just turns his head and walk away whenever Kevin approaches
“I’m a dog person anyways,” Kevin moodily tries to justify to himself. This is a strike to his ego.
Andrew doesn’t comment on it, but the next time Sir tries to jump into Andrew’s lap he doesn’t push Sir Fat Cat off.
In fact, he gives him a rare scratch behind his ear.
When Neil finds out he gives Sir Fat Cat and King Fluffkins a treat
They’re all Instigators at Heart
I love them
Anyways, I just want to say that Andrew + cats is a gift from the heavens and we should all treasure it for all of eternity
It’s so annoying that there are generic looking skinny white people who are able to pull off a perfect cosplay of almost any female character. And I think that speaks volumes about how we treat female characters in our society.
Who delivers grindylows? Is there some guy whose entire job is to rent out dark creatures to schools for educational purposes? Or are they animals on loan from a magical zoo?
And if there is such thing as a magical zoo in the wizarding world, that unquestionably needs to be a new part of Universal’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter as a tie-in for the Fantastic Beasts movies. Like the Wizarding World equivalent of Disney World’s Animal Kingdom, but with animatronic versions of magical creatures oh my god can this please be real and exist right now?