where's the bathroom

nazi: where is the bathroom 

me: right over there *pointing to gates of hell* 

nazi: thank you 

liberal, lurking in shadows: wow. so you just lied to him. that’s not the bathroom. 

little under-appreciated peridot moments that i love
  • “IS THIS YOUR BIZARRE ICON??!??!?!?!!?!?!” (holds up image of a crying waffle)
  • “the fusion experiments are developing properly….a few have even emerged early-EYOOHA
  • That little noise she makes in that moment in Catch and Release where she’s in the bathroom yelling at the Crystal Gems and she’s lying down on top of the towel bar holding a plunger and she almost slips
  • (Steven: I know you use my tooth brush!) “n….no……..well, Yes-”
  • (voice cracking immensely) I h A V EN>T  Cr A C K ED!!!!1
  • when she keeps holding the drill the wrong way in Back To The Barn
  • the one scene that she has in Steven’s Birthday
  • the face she makes in It Could’ve Been Great when Steven says “Just look at that view”
  • That scene in Message Received when Steven locks her in the car and we see her from inside the car and she looks like this
  • That moment in Log Date 7 15 2 where Garnet catches her wearing the alien boxers and she rips them off in the most dramatic way possible
  • IN GEM DRILL WHEN SHE’S SO CONCERNED ABOUT STEVEN AND HIS WELL BEING THAT SHE STOPS DRILLING THE CLUSTER ALL TOGETHER AND HOLDS HIM AND THAT RELIEVED SMILE SHE DOES WHEN HE WAKES UP FROM TALKING TO THE CLUSTER SHARDS SHE CARES ABOUT HIM SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY SCOOB
  • W H E N S H E H U G S S T E V E N I N G E M D R I L L
  • That moment in Same Old World where she makes exaggerated sound effects while telling their story about drilling the Cluster
  • Her little hand gestures in Barn Mates
  • The cute little cartoony smile she makes in Barn Mates when Lapis asks her if she’s okay
  • IN HIT THE DIAMOND WHEN SHE’S HIDING UNDER THE BOX AND STEVEN TAKES IT OFF HER AND SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS
  • When she puts the tablet on her arm in Too Short To Ride and it looks like she’s dabbing
  • When she keeps saying “ow” very flatly while Steven and Amethyst are trying to stretch her in Too Short To Ride
  • That lil moment in Beta when she’s talkin all casually about the Beta Kindergarten and she just twirls a tuna can in the air using her metal powers while she talks
  • IN EARTHLINGS WHEN SHE’S TALKIN ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE LOVES EARTH AND IT SET HER FREE
  • In Gem Harvest when she’s trying to get the Pumpkin Dog to say “clod”
  • In Adventures In Light Distortion where’s talkin about how she can change the settings on the Ruby ship and it’s indirectly confirmed that she changed the settings of the entire ship from The Return so it would be green like her
  • The loud yelling she does when she’s levitating the cars in The New Crystal Gems
  • The fact that she can levitate cars in the first place
  • The way she says “Look at it! It’s great!” in The New Crystal Gems while presenting the new car wash sign to Greg
  • The entirety of her role in The New Crystal Gems
  • Her wet hair in Room For Ruby. I legit screamed when I first saw that
  • In Room For Ruby when she rolls around in the dirt with Steven and Navy???? so pure
  • When she tries to console Lapis in Room For Ruby
  • just…her????? i lov peridot so much
10

♪ It’s not difficult to define Miss Douche ♪

3

The last messages sent from Eddie Justice, an accountant, to his mother. Eddie was hiding in the bathroom of Pulse nightclub in Orlando when he sent these terrified text messages to his mother. Omar Mateen barricaded himself inside the nightclub in the early morning hours of 12 June, 2016. Once inside, he senselessly murdered 50 people and injured another 50+. Not long after these texts were sent by Eddie, Mateen stormed into the bathroom where he was hiding and shot him dead.

Okay but for real though

I wanna see more headcanons/fics about Hazel adjusting to the 21st century. Not so much in the technology aspect but in the social aspect. Keep in mind she lived in the 1940s. BEFORE THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT. Like we know she had to go to a segregated school and everything, but we never get to see her reaction to how times have changed. For example:

  • Hazel asking where the bathrooms for colored people are and Nico having to explain that they aren’t segregated anymore
  • Hazel being surprised at how nice Percy and Jason are to her because in her time white boys generally didn’t acknowledge black girls. Especially not politely. 
  • The Seven stopping at a restaurant to get something to eat and Hazel being reluctant to go through the front door. At first, everyone is confused but then Annabeth catches on and assures Hazel that the restaurant won’t refuse to serve her
  • Hazel finding out about America’s first African American President and FLIPPING OUT
  • Frank showing her MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech and Hazel tearing up at it

LIKE SERIOUSLY I WANT THESE ISSUES ADDRESSED

Can the Marauders sing?
  • <b> Sirius:</b> can sing and will sing, all the time, everywhere.
  • <b> James:</b> can't sing, but still sings till your ears screech
  • <b> Remus: </b>can sing, but won't sing in front of anyone
  • <b> Peter:</b> can't sing, won't sing
  • <b> Lily:</b> can't sing, but knows all the lyrics and will correct you
Day Seventy-Two

-For Christmas Eve Eve, I wore jingle bell suspenders. Tonight, Christmas Eve, I stepped up my game. I wore a homemade ugly Christmas sweater that my girlfriend Lauren and I had created together. Covered tastefully in pompoms, pipe cleaners, tassels, small present boxes, and more, it went over phenomenally. Plus, it worked fantastically as a deterent. No one could yell at someone who looked this tacky.

-“Here’s this. Here’s this.” A nine year-old girl handed her mother her Starbucks drink and pastry to hold. “Now I’m going to go to the bathroom, because I really need to go.” Moments later, she returned. “Now, where exactly is the bathroom?” Never before have I found a child whose struggles I knew so well.

-A man told me that we were doing the right thing by staying open so late on Christmas Eve. I would now like to cordially invite this man who waited until the last twelve hours possible to purchase his daughter’s gifts to come and do the right thing and work my shift for me.  

-Men continue to find it necessary to throw any even slightly feminine products onto the register, to distance themselves from such a girly thing as hairspray or a greeting card. I continue to find this absolutely hilarious, a very telling display of their fragile masculinity.

-In what seemed to be a sweet act of Christmas kindness, a woman paid for the items of the guest behind her. It was all ruined though, as she then turned and said, “I’m a Christian. Don’t forget that.” This was all fun and games until it turned into a Jesus fan power play.

-A baby, barely old enough to speak, saw me in my sweater and hat and came to the conclusion that I was the present man she had been told about. Her eyes widened, her hand stretched out, and her face lit up. “SANTA???” she shouted in an adorably squeaky voice. I stepped up to the plate and handed her a long strip of stickers, cementing this as the most fulfilling Christmas Eve either of us will ever have.

-After scanning a Shopkins activity booklet, an adorable five year-old girl in the cart asked me if she could hold it. I naturally acquiesced. I then heard both her father and her brother repeatedly tell her, “That’s not yours. That’s not for you.” She acknowledged this, but would not let go of it. I realized to late that she had taken advantage of my naivety and was holding the gift hostage, tearing it up more and more as her father scolded her.

-A woman attempted to use a “rechargeable gift card.” I put that in quotes, because as she found out, it was an actual credit card in the name of a stranger whom she did not know at all. She told me that she had taken a few cards out of her twelve year-old son’s wallet and that this had been among them. She does not know how he got a hold of Kevin Jones’ company credit card, but I am impressed to no end and look forward to hearing about this boy in true crime podcasts to come.

(Zimbits, slight AU, 2.8K, under a cut because it got long.)

They asked him every year. Sometimes, even more than once a year if he wanted to be on Samwell’s promotional material.

Jack said no every time because he really didn’t have any interest in having his face plastered on billboards and on every brochure and course calendar they handed out to students, both prospective and current. He’d had enough secondhand publicity from his parents’ careers and he wasn’t going to go seeking it out while he was at Samwell.

The only allowance he made was when he was photographed with the rest of the hockey team because he understood that hockey was a big selling point when it came to convincing people to attend their school. One of the team photos was enlarged and put up in the sports complex, right between the women’s volleyball team and Samwell’s dance team. It had already gotten vandalized this year by some drunk LAX bros and had to be replaced (which the university was not happy about and last Jack heard, the bros responsible were on suspension from the team).

The university couldn’t get Jack, but they got Ransom and Holster to agree to photos other than the team one. There were some of them pretending to study in the library, or looking happy and not-stressed as they socialized. These ended up on the cover of last year’s Campus Life magazine and both Holster and Ransom both joked that they were wasting their time at school when they should be modelling instead. It still didn’t stop the recruitment team from continually asking Jack who refused to change his mind.

Little did he know it was about to be changed for him.

Keep reading

the signs as places to be at midnight

aries : on a curb outside a loud diner with a neon sign behind you and darkness before you

taurus : a windless playground as the swings begin to move

gemini : a truck stop bathroom where the sinks spray dust instead of water

cancer : an ancient place, the air buzzing with something like fury

leo : looking up into the dark at a skyscraper that doesn’t seem to end

virgo : barefoot in a brightly lit parking lot

libra : by the pool in an unfamiliar neighborhood

scorpio : an abandoned barn full of the smell of dust and rotten wood

sagittarius : a bus empty except for you

capricorn : a forest, surrounded by whispering trees

aquarius : an empty church full of candles

pisces : an old tennis court with a solitary, flickering light overhead

The RFA at the Hoover Dam
  • Jumin: Where's the dam bathroom?
  • Yoosung: pfft
  • Yoosung: dam bathroom
  • Jumin: What?
  • 707: nothing nothing
  • 707: i just wish i knew where the dam snack bar was
  • Yoosung: yeah i want some dam fries
  • 707: and a dam drink
  • Jumin:
  • Jumin: what
Spell It

A little angst. A little smut. Way too late at night.

I had an excellent suggestion for a mistake made on Harry’s part that leads into the situation he finds himself in below but in the end it felt right to leave his indiscretion vague. Feel free to fill in the blanks and enjoy.

-Kay


Text messages - three of them - pinging your cell in quick succession, Harry’s desperation illustrated in all caps.

Harry: I NEED YOU

Harry: PLEASE BABY

Harry: CAN I COME?

Keep reading

SKAM - THE OPINION OF A SLIGHTLY DRUNK AUSTRALIAN LITERATURE STUDENT

First, although we have all been quick to demonise Even for hurting our beautiful elven Prince Isak many of us can agree that he is likely suffering from some form of mental illness.

Many signs indicate this such as the scene in which Isak first encounters Even in the Kose group bathrooms where Even obsessively, compulsively removes every single hand towel from the dispenser, knowing that Isak still needs to dry his hands. Signs of mental illness can also be seen in the pool scene when Even ‘jokingly’ chokes Isak, this random, compulsive behaviour denoting that he is not of a stable mindset. He engages in extremely reckless and romantically grandiose behaviour such as breaking into a stranger’s house and kissing Isak in the locker room as the bell is going which is thoughtless behaviour seeing as both parties have an unspoken agreement that they are not prepared to come out to their schoolmates. He fails to contact Isak for days, this possibly due to the overwhelming stress of becoming vulnerable after spending so long in a safe relationship with Sonja, whom he most likely does not romantically love. People with bipolar disorders often have dark times followed periods of euphoria, this providing a good explanation for all of his random behaviour. It is obvious that Even is affronted when Isak mentions the fact that his mother is ‘crazy’ and he thinks his life is better off without the company of mentally ill people, this supporting the theories above.

It is evident that Even has retreated back to Sonja because his mental illness was likely to have set in during his teen years, which as stated in episode 4, is the time during which he and Sonja initially got together, this indicative that to Even, Sonja represents stability and safety which is crucial in the life of a mentally ill person. As Even would have spent much of his young adolescent years dealing with the onset of his mental illness he would have not had the chance to deal with his homosexuality or possible bisexuality. As his relationship with Isak is homosexual, this being a prospect he is not prepared to address, running back to Sonja in his time of uncertainty is logical from his point of view as she has already accepted many parts of him he is uncomfortable with. We can therefore surmise that Even is not a bad person, simply scared, confused and unstable this causing him to do the careless yet somewhat understandable things that he does to Isak. Isak himself lets his fear of being outed cause him to treat others poorly. His cruel treatment of Emma is a testament to this fact and both Isak and Even manipulate females to keep status and remain comfortable in their various social settings.

Isak has a tendency to run away from his issues, abandoning his parents when things got difficult and denying the fact he is gay for the entirety of season 1 and 2 and the vast majority of his teenage years. Through Even Isak is confronted with the reality that mental illness is not necessarily only to be associated with characteristically bad or out-casted individuals but also can exist within people he generally holds in a positive light, such as Even (prior to ep5 in which Even breaks his poor baby fucking heart). This may provide Isak with a better understanding of mental illness and reduce some of the stigma he feels towards his mother, adding a more human quality to her, this allowing him to reconcile with her.

Even also forces Isak to directly confront his homosexuality, their relationship inevitably requiring him to come out if he wishes to pursue it, his body language and general behaviour around Even prior to the final five minutes of episode 5 suggesting that he does.

As season 3 centres around the development of Isak as an individual Even will remain in the narrative as he plays a vital part in Isak’s character arc, therefore they will most likely end up in a public relationship by the end of the series.

If I am wrong I will drink myself into a coma.

6

(aka ‘poe meets karé at a mixer for new flight school recruits. she’s gay. he’s gay. instant bond formed’)

iolo, reading the paper: how’d it go?
poe: well, i met this girl -
iolo, completely monotone: ooOOooooh.
poe: i thought she might be flirting with me but she was actually just wondering where the bathroom was. also she was gay her name was karé kun
iolo, turning a page: i like her already. we should invite her over for dinner

  • Qrow: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas~~
  • Winter: Qrow, I swear to god, it is the middle of July.
  • Qrow: But just look around us!
  • Winter: Yes my name is Winter and you are, for the time being, living in my house, which has a lot of white furniture. That doesn't mean it's funny to sing christmas carols.
  • Qrow: Fine, fine. So where's the bathroom.
  • Winter: Down the hall and to the right. Anywhere else you need to know the location of?
  • Qrow: How do I get up on the rooftop, click click click?
  • Winter: *Slowly clenches her fists, audibly crinkling the paper she's holding.
  • Winter: Qrow, do you know why you're staying here?
  • Qrow: Cause baby it's cold outside?
  • Winter: No, because you need to conceal your location for the time being so the enemy doesn't know where you are. Your life is at risk. This is no laughing matter, which means no more jokes.
  • Qrow: Okay, okay...
  • Winter: ........
  • Qrow: ...... *Opens mouth to speak, but then closes it*
  • Winter: ......
  • Qrow: .......
  • Winter: Okay fine, one more, but this the last one.
  • Qrow: Really?
  • Winter: Yes.
  • Qrow: *Points to a family portrait, moving his finger from Weiss, to Winter, to their mother*
  • Qrow: Ho Ho Ho
  • Winter: *Knees him in the fucking groin*