where's neil

anonymous asked:

Where's Neil at tho? 😂 Liam, Louis and Harry have all killed us then resurrected us but where's the leprechaun? 😂😂

Readying himself to hit us with an album when we least expect it… xx

3

chapter one — neil josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. he didn’t want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother. if he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire. it was at once revolting and comforting, and it sent a sick shudder down his spine.

ok but consider: cheerleader Neil Josten

HEAR ME OUT I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS I SWEAR

- so we all know neil’s mom said he couldn’t play exy

- you know what the next best thing to playing exy is

- obsessively watching exy and cheering for it

- his mom didn’t really mind (well, he did at first, but neil somehow convinced her it wasn’t terrible) as long as he didn’t get attached to a squad and shit

- boy picked up so much skill from local cheer gyms everywhere

- he trained sO HARD (like half because if he was better they put him closer to the game so he had a better view)

- his tumbling passes were legendary. with his speed he could do the craziest shit like so many back handsprings. a back tuck. crazy twists and everything.

- even though he’s a guy he’s still soooo short

- at one point his coach decided to make him a f l y e r - like this little 5"3 muscular ass boy getting tossed like 20 feet in the air by these peppy girls in short skirts - just imagine

- he kept going until sometime before his mom died, when he realized he might have put a bit too much effort into the sport. people don’t see boy flyers and pass it off, and one of his teams almost made it big. almost- neil’s mom made him mess up their last routine and they left shortly after crippling the squad’s chances at nationals

- neil never really cheered again after his mom died, but he sometimes watched the vixens’ routines, mentally noting their strengths and weaknesses and what they could do with them, but he never said anything because he only knew katelyn and… it’s katelyn

- no one knows about his cheer days. not even andrew. uNTIL

- one day neil is out running and hey look up ahead near the exy stadium it’s the vixens holding practice

- he’s totally just gonna go right by them because exy but then he hears some shouting

- as he gets closer he sees some guys trying to talk to the vixens. from the look of their body language and the girls’ tense stances, it’s not going well

- neil gets closer and hears some very rude and derogatory things being said

- he promptly tells them to fuck off, may have added a threat or two. the guys bail.

- the vixens tell him they had it covered but thanks anyway, and one is like “hey, you wanna have a real practice today?” like totally joking

- neil’s brain is like fuck it

-  “yeah sure can you guys fly me in a basket double twist”

- who are you and what have you done with our starting striker

- neil just basically joins their practice

- katelyn’s reaction was priceless

- not as priceless as andrew’s expression when he sees his boyfriend being thrown into the air by a bunch of cheerleaders on the way to practice

“Am I at ninety-four yet?”

Neil asked.

He was not at ninety-four. Ninety-four was the whispered words, “Thank you. You were amazing.” They echoed inside Andrew’s head over and over, like they were an offering, a prayer, a goodbye, like they were pushed out of his body with his dying breath. It was irritating and he was going to bring it up on the bus. He was going to spell it out nice and slow how Neil needed to stop living like he was dying and start living like the exy junkie he was.

Ninety-five was turning around and seeing nothing. Not nothing in the sense that Neil was nothing, but nothing in the sense of panic, of worry, of standing on the edge of the rooftop looking down thinking “Would it hurt if I fell?” The space where Neil should have been filled with emotions that Andrew swore he would never feel again.

Ninety-six was finding his bag. It wasn’t the bag that held his entire life, that was locked away in the Fox Tower, safe. It was the bag that held his future. A future he knew Neil wanted in the way he clutched the key he gave him back in August. A key that was left in the God forsaken bag with Neil nowhere in sight.

For ninety-seven, Kevin was there. The other foxes were there too but the words Kevin formed with his breath passing over his voice box and the movements of his tongue and jaw, were the only things that mattered. Kevin’s mouth moved, sound traveled in vibrations through the air, hit Andrew’s eardrums, and then his hands were around Kevin’s neck. There were lies and half-truths and Andrew hated those. Again not in the sense he hated Neil but in the sense that he hated the word ‘please’ and ‘misunderstanding’. He hated how he didn’t hate Neil because of all the lies. And for that, ninety-seven.

Ninety-eight was the phone call that Neil had been found.

Ninety-nine was walking through the hotel door and seeing him crumple in agony. It was the hissed “Don’t” as he did his best sooth away the pain. It was the eyes that were Nathaniel’s with hints of Neil peeking out behind his irises. It was the look of a man staring helplessly as the executioner readied the guillotine. It was the words “I’m sorry” like he had something to be sorry for. It was his attitude that no matter how beat up he got, remained impeccably intact. And it was the question he still had the gall to ask: “Am I at ninety-four yet?”

“You are at one hundred.”

u know that bit in the books where renee and neil are talking about that period where they weren’t sure if neil was going to be put under renee’s protection or andrew’s? and andrew tells renee that he wouldn’t wish neil on his worst enemy? like o hmy god andrew was already so gone for neil when renee offers to take him he’s just basically like
“uh no you can’t have him”
 “why” 
“….u just can’t”
 “but andrew why-”
 “fuck off renee, i said i’ll take him”

andrew goes on to play exy professionally because it’s all he knows. it’s a borrowed obsession and he knows neil will play pro until he physically can’t anymore. so he joins a professional team, and he keeps playing. for years. until eventually he figures out what he wants to do with his life

he wants to work with kids. he wants to help vulnerable kids because no one ever helped him. so he retires and he becomes a social worker and for probably the first time in his life he has a passion. something he loves doing, that makes him feel good. something that makes him feel like he has a place in the world

something to live for

10

This season we learn… what it means to have to pull the trigger yourself, what it means to have to perform the role of a person whose convictions are so completely different from your own. What does that cost your soul? // X COMPANY SEASON 3 STARTS JANUARY 11th

y’all can u BELIEVE that andrew minyard would willingly burn the world to find neil fucking josten. can u believe he “wanted to shove aside anyone standing in his way, wanted to tear the stadium down bench by bench and bolt by bolt, until he figured out where neil was,”  ‘cos sometimes i Remember That and i just fucking die

What if Aaron was just a little bit taller than Andrew? Not even a few inches, just a few centimeters. You can barely notice it but it’s there and it makes Andrew so mad. Aaron holds it over him f o r e v e r

2

So a friend talked with me about a Music Camp he was in, and I immediately thought of Camp Camp.

I don`t know why, but I`d like to think that Max is a child that would like playing the violin? But his parents had to high standards for him to reach, so his self-estem kinda went down the drain, even though he`s actually really good and enjoys playing!