Request: Imagine dating Jax for a while, Tara comes back and you and Jax fight.
PART TWO COMING 😘
“It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.
Yet, it’s said that we need each of these loves for a different reason.
Often our first is when we are young, high school even. It’s the idealistic love; the one that seems like the fairytales we are all read as children.
It’s a love that looks right.
The second is supposed to be our hard love; the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved.
Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even.
It’s the love that we wished was right.
And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually comes dressed as all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be.
It’s the love that just feels right.
Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime; but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to.
Possibly maybe we need a whole lifetime to learn or maybe if we’re lucky it only takes a few years.
And there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath.
Someone once told me they are the lucky ones; and perhaps they are.
But I kinda think that those who make it to their third love are really the lucky ones.
They are the ones who are tired of having to try and whose broken hearts lay beating in front of them wondering if there is just something inherently wrong with how they love.
But there’s not; it’s just a matter of if someone loves in the same way that they do or not.
And maybe there’s something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second…but there’s also just something about our third.
The one we never see coming.
The one that actually lasts.
The one that shows us why it never worked out before.
And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love. ”
You pulled into the Teller-Morrow lot and parked in your usual spot before sliding out of your seat and closing the car door behind you.
The night was warm and the air was crisp, the sun slowly beginning to set and you walked across the lot, thinking to yourself how thankful you were to live in a place like this.
Your footsteps echoed through the quiet lot, almost silent except the faint music coming from inside. The row of bikes was a welcome sight and you headed straight for the clubhouse doors.
There was nothing quite like the smell of the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse and it welcomed you every time you opened those doors; a mix of cheap perfume, leather and cigarettes.
And for the last two years, this place had become your home.
Dating Jackson Teller wasn’t easy, but to be honest you didn’t want easy. Nothing worthwhile ever came easy and for you, Jax was worth the world.
You saw him almost instantly, sitting casually at one of the tables, a beer in one hand and a cigarette pressed between his lips, his blonde hair slicked back from his face.
A smile spread on your lips as you neared him and when he saw you approaching his face lit up.
“Hey darlin,” Jax greeted you and gave his leg a pat, gesturing for you to sit.
You obliged and sat in his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulder before kissing his lips gently.
Chibs and Tig were sat at the table also and they both greeted you warmly.
“How was your day?” You asked, absentmindedly playing with the folds of leather on his kutte.
“Busy.” Jax smiled at you.
He knew you weren’t digging for information on the club, you were just generally interested in how his days went and he admired you for not pressing him for details.
You began to chat about your day, Jax asking you questions about work and neither of you noticed Chibs and Tig leave the table.
Conversation always flowed easily between the two of you and even when you weren’t speaking the silence was comfortable.
“You ready to head home?” You asked, stifling a yawn.
Jax took a swig of his beer before speaking.
“I’ve gotta wrap up some Club stuff,” He told you, shifting uneasily in his seat. “I might be late tonight babe.”
You nodded and smiled. “Well I’d say I’d wait up but I doubt il be able to.” You said as another yawn came over you.
Jax smirked and kissed you deeply.
“I love you, (y/n).” He told you, his voice serious.
You thought nothing of it and smiled back at him. “I love you too.”
The singing of the birds outside your window woke you before your alarm did, and you were thankful. The sounds of nature were a much more pleasant awakening then the nagging beeps of your alarm clock.
You stretched your arms out and instantly noticed the empty spot beside you.
You frowned slightly.
It was unlike Jax to not come home. Even when he stayed late at the clubhouse he always made his way home, knowing that you worried when he wasn’t beside you.
You checked your phone but saw no messages or calls from him.
‘He probably crashed at the clubhouse. It was a busy day after all.’ You told yourself and headed for the shower.
After showering you pulled on your ripped black jeans and a grey tshirt and tied your hair loosely on top of your head before heading to the kitchen for breakfast.
It wasn’t your day off, but you only had two meetings today so you didn’t need to head into the office til around lunchtime.
You threw some bread in the toaster and made up a pot of coffee.
It wouldn’t hurt to pop in to the clubhouse, you thought. Jax might have already headed out for the day but there was still a chance he’d be there and you wanted to ease your mind before heading into work.
You quickly had your breakfast and tidied up the kitchen before grabbing your keys off the counter and heading for the door.
Your house wasn’t far from TM and the drive there passed quickly.
The lot was coming alive for the day, some of the guys around the picnic table, some in the garage working on bikes and you could see Gemma in her office.
You parked in your spot and got out of the car.
“Mornin’ lass,” Chibs called from the table.
“Morning!” You smiled back.
You’d always gotten on well with him and he always made you feel welcome.
“Aye, he’s in his dorm.”
You thanked him and kissed his cheek before heading inside.
Jax was exactly where Chibs said; sitting at the desk in his dorm, cigarette between his lips, writing in that notebook he always clutched so tight.
You leant against the door, unwilling to disturb him. You liked watching him write, he always looked so focused, like he was writing the secrets of the world. You never asked what he was writing, never wished to read his words; you didn’t need to.
He had always been open with you and you’d never had secrets between you. However something didn’t feel quite were.
You let him write in piece for another minute before you rapped on the door lightly.
Jax lifted his head and smiled before blowing out his smoke and putting out the cigarette in an ash tray.
“Mornin’,” Jax saidnas he stood and walked towards you.
“Long time no see, Teller.” You smirked.
You were pissed he hadn’t come home and hadn’t bothered to text you, but damn with a face like that you could never stay mad at him for long.
Jax smirked and ran a hand through his hair.
You raised an eyebrow and laid your hands on his shoulders. His hands held your waist gently.
“That’s all I get?”
“I’ll make it up to you?” He offered, a playful hint in his eyes.
You laughed lightly.
“You sound so sincere.”
Jax smirked at the sarcasm in your voice and kissed you softly.
“I’m sorry babe.” He told you again.
This time you nodded and smiled.
“Just come home tonight.” You told him.
Jax nodded and you kissed him once more before turning away.
“See you at home. For dinner.” You called over your shoulder
“I’ll be there.” Jax watched you leave, a content smile on his lips as he watched you walk.
The house was so silent that you swore you actually heard the clock tick over.
And he still wasn’t home.
Your fingers rapped at the table impatiently.
Fuck it. You thought. You hadn’t heard from him since you had left the clubhouse earlier this morning and after not coming home last night you were pissed.
He could have at least had the decency to call.
Now, dinner had gone cold and you didn’t really care; you always lost your appetite when you were angry.
You glanced at the clock once more before grabbing your keys, pulled on your boots and marched to the door.
You drove fast, barely stopping at the red lights and stop signs on the way and the tyres screeched when you pulled into the lot.
Tig and Happy were sat outside and they eyed you curiously as you slammed the car door.
“Everything okay doll?” Tig asked as you stormed across the lot.
“Just fucking peachy.” You said.
Tig nodded slowly and backed away, arms raised and you sat back at the table with Hap.
You glanced past the dozen men scattered around the clubhouse, searching only for one.
Juice was walking towards you, pulling a pack of smokes out of his pocket as he walked.
You spotted Jax, sitting on one of the sofas, a pretty brunette beside him. She wasn’t a crow eater, that was obvious but you still felt a pang of jealousy when you saw Jax smile at her.
“Juice, who’s that?” You asked as he neared you.
He glanced around the room, following your gaze and stopped awkwardly when he saw who you were meaning.
“Uhh I’m not sure (y/n).” Juice said and rubbed his neck.
You crossed your arms and glared at him.
“It’s um. Tara.” He told you and flashed you a sad smile before squeezing your arm and walked past you.
You nodded slowly.
So this is why Jax had been acting strange; Tara was back.
Goddamit. You knew about her, he had told you, Gemma had told you, hell half the fucking club had told you.
She was his first love, the first girl to break his heart. It had been years since she’d left town and you hadn’t ever imagined she’d come back. You’d had a hard enough time adjusting to Wendy being around, but you’d come to realise there was nothing left between her and Jax.
They had been toxic for each other, and they only kept in touch for the sake of Abel. She wasn’t a threat and you’d actually grown to like her.
Tara was different.
You’d never met her, you’d only moved to town two years after she’d left but you knew how much she had meant to him. And the fact that he had practically ignored you didn’t sit right.
A part of you wanted to storm across the room, slap the bitch right across her cheek, and rip Jax into shreds.
But you didn’t.
You turned around slowly and walked back to your car.
It was 2.37am when Jax pulled into the drive way.
He parked his bike and swung his leg over before resting his helmet on his handle bars and heading towards the front door.
The kitchen light was still on inside and he walked slowly, his head hung low.
His footsteps were light as he walked up the steps and he opened the door slowly and closed it before him.
His shoes thumped against the carpet as he licked them off and he pulled the leather off his shoulders and laid it over the back of a chair before heading into the kitchen.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw you sitting at the table, a half bottle of whiskey and an empty glass in front of you.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “You’re still up.”
He nodded slowly and fumbled with his rings before pulling out a chair and taking a seat opposite you.
“I’m sorry I’m late babe, things with the club have been.. busy.”
You nodded and lifted the bottle of whiskey and poured some into your glass.
Jax sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.
“It won’t be like this all the time darlin, things have just been busy. It’ll die down soon and I’ll be-”
“I came to the clubhouse.” You interrupted.
Jax stopped, his blue eyes fixed on you but you didn’t meet his gaze.
You twirled the glass in your hand, letting the whiskey swirl around before taking a sip.
“How longs she been back, Jax?”
He was silent for a moment before he spoke.
“A few days.” He told you.
You nodded slowly, your face cold.
“Do you love me?” You asked.
Jax reached across the table to grab your hands but you pulled them away.
“I do, (y/n). I love you.”
“Do you love her?” You took another swig.
Jax sighed. “Look it’s not that simple, I-”
“Yes or no.” You interrupted.
His gaze lingered in you but you only stared at the glass in your hands.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, (y/n).”
You scoffed. “Then what the fuck does it mean, Jax?! You blow me off cause your ex is back in town?”
“I needed time to think.” Jax said, his voice calm.
“To think?!” You yelled. “To think about what, Jax?! She left you! It’s been ten fucking years! But you need to think about it?”
“I didn’t think I’d see her again, it threw me.”
You scoffed and downed the rest of your glass.
“I was gonna tell you, I just needed to figure thins out. Me and Tara, we got a lot of history.”
“What did you need to figure out Jax? You’ve moved on! You’ve moved on with me! Or have the last two years meant nothing to you?!”
“Of course they meant something!” Jax yelled back. “I love you!”
“Bullshit!” You threw the bottle of whiskey at the wall behind him, barely missing his head and the glass shattered to the floor.
“If you loved me you wouldn’t have blown me off to see her! You would have told me straight away! You wouldn’t have lied to me!” You screamed, your fists shaking with rage.
“I am no ones second choice, Jackson.”
You grabbed your keys and pushed past him, heading for the door.
Anger was seething through you and although you could hear Jax yelling after you you couldn’t make out his words.
The rage was blinding, and you didn’t notice your knuckles whitening as you gripped the steering wheel.
You didn’t notice the row of flowers you crushed beneath the tyres.
You didn’t notice the tears streaming down your face.
You didn’t notice the red light beaming in the street.
You didn’t notice the truck.
No, you didn’t notice it. Not til it hit the side of your car, and everything went black.