where will we go next

LGBT Percy Jackson Headcanons

-Trans girls are always accepted by Artemis into the Hunt

-Nico never actually says he’s gay, just makes it known by making out with Will in nearly every location possible

-Queer kids whose parents didn’t accept them are year round campers

-At first the Ares kids were a little wary of the LGBT community, but when a second year Ares camper comes out they become fiercely protective of them

-The Aphrodite kids are walking encyclopedias on all LGBT terms, and have a list with definitions in their cabin for questioning campers

-The Aphrodite kids also really like helping trans campers feel comfortable in their own skin

-Pansexual Piper

-Lesbian or bi Reyna

-Asexual Thalia

-Apollo kids (being children of the god of prophecies) always know who is going to come out next, but never pressure them to do so

-Chiron makes any homophobic campers be on stable duty for a month

-Dionysus lazily mentions that if he hears anyone else being homophobic… well, he hopes you like dolphins

-Athena cabin getting into debates on which of their favourite fictional characters are LGBT and having literal CHARTS and GRAPHS to prove it

-Bi-curious Percy, though he never acted on it because it’s always been Annabeth

-Jason being the straightest, whitest, cis-est, malest demigod out there, but supporting his LGBT friends and the entire community without hesitation

-Jason is literally the guy to make t-shirts, to keep buying skittles, to find all LGBT songs possible, and, of course, “Guys! Guys! There’s a Pride Parade next week! We /have/ to go. Where can I buy a pink tutu on short notice?”

-Nico secretly loving that Jason is like this but never admitting it

-Pansexual Will

-Frank being really confused about the whole thing but totally accepting it because people he love are in that community and it’s all about love so how could that possibly be a bad thing?

-Annabeth, Frank’s go-to on anything he doesn’t understand, happily explains everything she knows to him

-Frank thinking it’s so cool and telling Nico how awesome he is for being himself

-Hazel being /floored/ on how accepting the world is of LGBT people today, though of course plenty of people still suck

-Hazel being slightly relived to know that it’s normal because although she loved Sammy then, and she loves Frank now, there was this girl back home who she sort of had feelings for and never understood what that meant

-Demisexual Frank

-Bisexual Rachel

-Leo and the rest of the Hephaestus cabin working on bracelets for gender fluid kids that change colour to correspond with how they feel

-Alex Fierro buying out all of the first ones ready

-Bi or pan Magnus

-Gay Hearthstone

-Gay Blitzen

-^^^This was obvious because Blitzstone is practically canon, come on people

-Each and every god (besides those who swore off all love) responding with ‘yes’ when asked what their sexual orientation is

-Polysexual Sadie

-Polysexual Leo

-Trans Meg/ *edit, suggested by @thisrandombloggergirl Demi-girl Meg instead!

-Also lesbian Meg?

-A large number of LGBT and ally kids being from the Aphrodite cabin because LOVE is LOVE people!

-Calypso making flower crowns that correspond with the different flags’ colours and giving them to anyone who wants them

-Bi, pan, and poly Apollo kids never feeling the need to change the pronouns when they sing love songs or write love poems

-Apollo being *extremely* out at CHB while he’s there

-Him actually giving other LGBT kids the courage to come out

-A small elite group at Camp Jupiter created as a safe space for queer kids

-Reyna always supporting it but being really shy about joining when she comes to terms with her sexuality

-The kids in the group gladly welcoming her

-Asexual/aromantic child of Aphrodite worrying something is wrong with them

-Their brothers and sisters assuring them that they’re normal and there are all different kinds of love

-Hephaestus cabin setting up LGBT movie nights (nothing graphic, mostly fluff, though Travis and Connor have tried on more than one occasion to sneak some x-rated stuff in there)

-Piper running an LGBT aesthetic blog on tumblr

-Feel free to add more!

Reasons to be happy today:

  • Tim’s groceries magically appear on his kitchen table every Monday afternoon. He doesn’t really know how they get there, but he doesn’t question it because he assumes Alfred brings them by. He’s wrong (zombie squad back at it again with the aggressive care taking).
  • Number of times Wayne Industries employees have walked in on Tim power-napping on the break room couches: nine. In the past month. It’s cool. They’re used to it by now. They know to let him sleep.
  • When Dick first started hanging around the Batcave, he decided he should design his own secret fortress, but (being an eight year old), his idea of the perfect hideout was… interesting.
  • “And this is the medical bay, and this is the armory, and this is the moat with the MAN-EATING GUARD CROCODILES.” “I’m pretty sure this where I tell you no.” “No crocodiles?” “No crocodiles.” “Okay ROBOT CROCODILES.” [Bruce sighing]
  • But it’s still an official blueprint, right? Crayon drawing or not, it has to go with all the other plans. Which means it’s been hanging up in the cave for the last decade and
  • Yeah, all the other kids have seen it. And they’re keeping the tradition alive with their own designs. Tim and Jason both actually made theirs, if not quite according to the original blueprints (no movie theater, no secret tunnel to Pizza Hut). But they were close enough for Bruce to recognize them the first time he saw. Stephanie is still campaigning to get hers built.
  • And Damian, with his usual lack of chill, has not only detailed plans, but also construction estimates, a schedule, and a budget spreadsheet. Also he’s been laughing at Grayson’s original for months. (“Robot crocodiles? Really? There are more cost efficient ways to protect your hideout.” “I was eight.” “You don’t even have mechanical blueprints.” “I was eight.” “I could make them if I wanted to. For the record.” [Dick sighing] )
Skyline {VI}

Originally posted by tomhollanderr

Warnings: Language, blood mention, panic attack

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: Oh my god you guys!!  I have so much to discuss but first and foremost I want to thank all of you for making this story into what it is.  I started this story two weeks ago and in those two weeks I’ve gained almost 2000 followers and have had success that I never even dreamed of.  Thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me, for this story, and hopefully for stories I write in the future!!! Skyline wouldn’t be what it is today without you guys.  Secondly, there will be a pt. 7!!!  I know I keep saying this, but I really did mean for this to be the last part.  It’s just that there are so many things I want to include and plot points I want to flesh out, and although I feel bad for writing angst chapter after angst chapter, I want to give you guys my all and I don’t want to short change you.  Finally, I would like to thank my friends Zoe and Jen for helping me brainstorm ideas and helping finalize details and plot points.  I love you guys so so much!!  Also, everyone, again, I DO NOT HAVE A TAGS LIST!!! I put this at the beginning of every chapter, it’s in my bio, and I’ve made multiple posts but people keep spamming me about it.  I am truly not trying to be mean, but I do my best to respond to every ask and message I get, and having to sort through a million people asking the same question is hard guys!!!.  Before, I go, one last thing: because everyone has sent me in songs that they listen to that remind them of Skyline, I compiled them into a playlist along with ones I listen to!!  Please give it a listen and try to listen in order, as the songs follow the storyline.  Link is below.  Enjoy everyone!!

skyline: a mixtape

{part i} {part ii} {part iii} {part iv} {part v} 

Waking up the next morning was hard.  Sleep was like temporary amnesia, and when you awoke alone in bed, your hand automatically reached out for the note that Spider-Man always left before he disappeared every night.  Instead of feeling the usual smooth sheet of paper, however, you felt empty sheets that seemed colder than ever before.  It was then that the events of the previous night tumbled into your head, from your request to know Spider-Man’s identity, to him saying I love you for the first time, to you giving him up.

You groaned and rubbed your hand across your face, fatigue taking over.  More than anything, you wanted to fake an illness, stay in bed all day, and wallow in your thoughts, but you knew you had to get up. Although the breakup hurt you (did it count as a breakup if you were never really together in the first place?), you knew you made the right choice.  There was no way a relationship with a superhero would work out if the significant other didn’t know who they were; if you were to fall in love, you would need to be able to fall completely.

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Our party has arrived back in town in need of funds and unsure what our next step should be. We decide head to the Orion Guild, where we can earn some gold and hopefully get a clue as to where we should go next.

DM: As you enter, you see Guildmaster Cid in his usual spot on the counter. It’s early enough in the day that most of the tables are empty… [and so on]

Me: [Fighter] checks the board for bounties.

The DM puts down a small handful of papers in front of us–the bounties that we’re eligible to take at our current ranks in the guild. One bounty reads:

ROAD BLOCKED!

A Crash of Rhinoceros has taken up station NE of Neverwinter on the main trade road, charging those who try to pass. They need to be removed, by force if necessary.

Sister: This one shouldn’t take too long, it’s just on the road.

Me: And [Druid] will probably like it.

My sister looks confused, which I don’t understand since her druid’s been taking every opportunity to seek out new animals to wildshape.

Sister: What’s [Druid] got to do with bandits?

Me: What bandits?

Sister: The crash of rhinoceros?

Me: Oh, I think he meant crash as in group. Like, actual rhinos.

DM: Yep.

Sister: …But then how are they collecting the tolls?

There’s a moment of silence. I actually lean over to look at the bounty again, since I didn’t remember reading the word “tolls” anywhere. Then he speaks slowly:

DM: …what tolls?

She looks at us like we’re nuts.

Sister: The ones they’re charging people on the road…?

And then she gets it. Her whole face changes.

Sister: Oh. You mean the rhinos are actually charging people.

We had to break for a few minutes until we got the laughter under control.

SKAM S04E03 Clip 5 - I Judge No One

SANA: That’s why I think we should be ambitious, and a clear goal should be to try to win at least one of the bus prizes at Tryvann* in May 2018.

GIRL 1: It’s pretty easy to say you want to win prizes, everyone wants that, but now that you’re bus boss, do you have any plans on how to do that?

SANA: To start, I’ve had a look at your budget, and it needs to be re-allocated. For example, there’s no point in trying to compete in lighting and sound rigging, cause then we’re going to lose. But what we can be competitive in is concept. So the first thing I’m going to do is move a lot of our resources from the lighting and sound category to the concept category.

INGRID: I’m sorry, but it’s pretty hard to win the year’s best concept.

SANA: Yes, but if you do an analysis of the buses that have won the last three years, you can see some obvious commonalities. The League 2014: a boy’s bus from Bærum with Pokeball-bar and Pokemon decorations. Montana 2015: a boy’s bus from Oslo-West that used three versions of Montana - Tony Montana, Hannah Montana and the state Montana. And then we have Landslaget** 2016, inspired by football spirit and nationalism. Do you see what those buses have in common?

GIRL: Boy’s buses…

SANA: All the concepts suck and we can do better. In the first round, I’m going to call in all the bus bosses to a meeting where we plan what we’re going to do the next half year with some clear goals. Any more questions? Yes?

GIRL TWO: Well, so … the russ period is all about partying and drinking, and then I have to ask, since you’re Muslim, what do you think of drinking?

SANA: I judge no one.

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Natural - Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: Natural

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Imagine Bill seeing you interact with little Jackson on set and realizing he wants to have kids with you.

A/N: (Y/s/n) = Your Superhero Name, Y’all little Georgie is everything! And I’m not the one to easily find kids adorable or say I’d want a kid like that but oh dear!

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Bill asked with an adorable frown as he looked down at you and you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Bill you don’t have to worry about me, I already have an amazing company!” you grinned, turning to look at Jackson who was barely able to hold all of the comics in his small hands.

“You two will get along perfectly fine.” he breathed out with a small chuckle and you giggled after looking at your small fan and then back at your boyfriend.

“We already are.” you winked “Come on now, go be a big scary clown and don’t get all messy with the blood, children are not like eating chicken and you know it. Bones are bigger and there usually is a whole lot more blood, cause you practically eat them alive and yeah.” you leaned in and pecked his lips as he laughed at you.

“You’re so weird.” he made a funny face but still looked at you with adoration.

“But that’s why you love me.” you breathed out, your hands resting on his chest “And if you need any tips on red lipstick I am always here, baby.” you winked with a giggle and he chuckled.

“You are… amazing.” he breathed out, cupping your face before fully kissing you on the lips.

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anonymous asked:

My dad says Zoo's are becoming politically incorrect. I've seen both arguments but I wanna hear your opinion on it: do you think Zoo's are a good idea?

Well, let’s see if I can keep this response short.

First, I’m guessing that by ‘politically correct’ you mean ‘ethically sound.’ So, is keeping animals in zoos an ethical thing to do? As with many things, there is no easy or even single answer to that question.

Without a doubt, there are bad zoos- private or roadside zoos, zoos that keep their animals in abhorrent conditions, zoos that allow visitors to engage in unsafe things like cub-petting schemes. It is obvious that these types of zoos are unethical and exploitative.

(Hint: something like this is never a good sign.)

On the other hand, what constitutes a ‘good’ zoo? In the best captive conditions currently available, is it okay to keep an animal locked up? Some say no, no matter what; some say what we have now isn’t good enough. Others say yes- the best zoos are able to provide their captives with good lives.

This of course brings us to just what a ‘good’ life is. Those who say that animals should never ever be placed in captivity usually value a sense of freedom above all else. Even in perfect captive conditions, an animal will not be free, wild, or ‘natural.’

However, we must acknowledge that ‘freedom’ is a concept created and defined by humans. A human locked in a prison knows the difference between captivity and freedom, and is able to conceptualize that certain ‘rights’ that they have are being violated. But for animals, this may be too complex to perceive. How far back do you have to move a fence before a kudu decides that he is wild again? The idea that animals sense when they are ‘free’ versus ‘not free’ is, to me, not realistic.

Animals do, however, benefit from the ability to be free to make choices, such as what they eat, where they will go, who they will interact with, and so on. Undeniably, captivity presents animals with fewer choices of these kinds than they would have in the wild. The best zoos are now implementing programs to accommodate these choices, particularly with highly intelligent animals such as elephants and apes.

One such example: the “O Line” at the Smithsonian National Zoo allows orangutans to choose one of two buildings to stay in during the day. Other animals, such as the otters, can choose whether or not to be on exhibit via spaces in their enclosure that are sheltered from the public. Scatter feeding and foraging enrichment is yet another way that zoos allow animals to choose what food they want to eat.

Still, despite these improvements, there will always be limitations of choice in captive environments compared to wild ones by the very definition of ‘captivity.’ Furthermore, while many strides have been taken to update enclosures with choices in mind, the fact remains that the implementation of behavioral science in zoos lags behind the research due to the costs, and often due to the stress of the animals themselves when trying to adjust to new schedules and norms (even if they are theoretically better ones).

A forty-year old captive elephant will have lived through decades of zoo reform, and we can’t erase those negative experiences from her mind.

One danger of comparing captive animals to their wild counterparts is assuming that captive environments should mirror the wild ones as closely as possible. But what the wild even is is not well-defined. ‘Wild’ deer roam my suburban neighborhood: should that habitat be replicated in their zoo enclosure? Wild environments include predators, diseases, and natural disasters: is it better that those be implemented in zoos as well?

In actuality, an animal born in captivity likely has no sense of what its natural environment should look like. Certainly it has natural instincts and inclinations- a tiger likes to urine-mark vertical objects and a gibbon likes to climb- but neither of them specifically needs a tree to do this with- a post or rope swing would also work. The ‘naturalistic’ look of many zoo enclosures is actually for the benefit of the visitors, not the animals. In fact, a lush, well-planted habitat could still be an abysmal one for an animal if all of its needs aren’t being met.

This brings us to one of the most important aspects of zoos: the visitors. Theoretically, one of the major purposes of good zoos is to educate and inspire the public about animals, particularly in regards to their conservation. But do zoos actually do this?

The answer is yes… to a small extent. People given surveys upon entering and leaving a zoo exhibit generally do know slightly more about the animals than they used to, but this depends a lot on how educated they were to begin with. While many visitors express an increased desire to engage in conservation efforts after leaving a zoo, not many of them have actually followed up on it when surveyed again a few weeks later. Still, most zoo visitors seem to leave the zoo with several positive if perhaps short-term effects: interest in conservation, appreciation for animals, and the desire to learn more. If a visitor experiences a “connection” with an animal during their visit, these effects are greatly increased.

However, certain types of animal “connections” and interactions can also produce a negative effect on zoo visitors. This reflects what I said earlier about the naturalistic design of habitats being more for the visitors than the animals. Individuals who view animals performing non-natural behaviors (such as a chimpanzee wearing clothes and acting ‘human,’ or a tiger coming up to be petted) are less likely to express an increased interest in their conservation, and even less likely to donate money towards it. Generally, our own perception of freedom and wildness matters much more than the individual animal’s.

The fact of the matter is that, worldwide, zoos spend about $350 million dollars on wildlife conservation each year. That is a tremendous amount of money, and it comes from visitors and donations. What amount of discomfort on the part of captive animals is worth that money being devoted to their wild counterparts? It’s hard to say.

This is a very, VERY general overview of some of the ethical issues surrounding zoos; to go over it all, I’d need to write a book. But hopefully, it got you thinking a little bit about what your own opinion on all this is. (I didn’t explicitly state mine on purpose, though it’s probably fairly clear.)

Refs and further reading below the cut!

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A sleeping tide, love lost under the cave

currents came/gone the same

lovers entangled, bridges crossed

you were my language, tongue twisted whitewash

a day waltzed, a second of wonder
a third of your curiosity, four answers to what’s next?

Where did we go, the time and us?

The morning trespassed my night
I dug your mouth, always hidden
I had wished you would tell me
where I should have planted
these kisses amongst your skin?

Hushed, untimely
secrets unburied
my love,
how these hands untouched

I sought for remnants
antiquity of soul
found you oh you, you again.

Why must fate turns its back on me?

Oh, how obnoxious was this untethered oblivion?

D C de Oliveira
10.09.2017
04.00am

if the apocalypse is ever a thing that happens i definitely won’t survive it but it won’t be because i’m lazy (although i am) it’ll be because i have the worst sense of direction and geography ever like i’ll go out on a supply run or something and forget which way home is or i’ll be running from idk zombies and like step right off the edge of a cliff

Forgotten - Jughead Jones

Hello! May I request an imagine where Jughead and Archie’s little sister are dating because when Archie ditched him in the summer she went and comforted him or something and it’s all fluffy and adorable? Thank you!!

Originally posted by dailyriverdale

I think I may have changed it a little, but I hope you like it!

It was the day your brother woke you up early by being far too noisy, when you realized it. “What’s wrong with you Archie?” Your voice was a whisper when you spoke. Archie was halfway out the door and it was early in the morning. “Jughead is waiting for you to go on your road trip,” you had caught him sneaking out while speaking to some mystery girl over the phone. “Don’t tell Jughead or Dad,” he said seriously, but you just rolled your eyes. “You’re a horrible friend Archie, just ditching him for a girl!” You stormed back upstairs to your room and Archie made his escape out the door. You felt anger surging through your veins as you quickly got ready. If Archie wasn’t going to hang out with his friend, you would. Jughead didn’t deserve this treatment, plus he was fun to be around. You pulled on a shirt and some comfy pants, followed by your favorite pair shoes. You grabbed your phone and waited until Archie was farther away from the house. You made your way downstairs and out the door, starting the walk to Jughead’s house.


“Y/N, what are you doing here?” This was the first thing Jughead asked when he opened the front door and saw you. You smiled at him, “I’m here to hang out with you.” He raised an eyebrow, stepping out on his porch and shutting the door behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at you. “Not that I don’t enjoy your company, but wasn’t it Archie who wanted to hang out?” You stared back, searching for an excuse Jughead would believe. Luckily, his phone buzzed and you didn’t have to. As he read it, he just shook his head and scoffed.

“Nevermind, your brother just texted me,” he sounded pissed off so you could only assume Archie had really screwed up. He looked back up at you and you turned to looked at your shoes. “You don’t have to waste your time with me, Y/N,” he said and you just shook your head. “I want to,” you replied and he nodded. He pulled his jacket more securely over his chest, and walked past you. “So where are we going?” You walked down his stairs to stand next to him. He placed his hand on his waist, giving you room to link your arm with his. As you did, you smiled and said, “to Pop’s we go!” He gave you a smile and you both made your way to the diner.

Surprisingly, Pop’s was basically empty when you and Jughead arrived. Granted, it was the 4th of July, so everyone was probably at home or in someone else’s backyard at a barbeque. You and Jughead picked booth with a window after ordering food. “If you don’t mind me asking,” you said, playing with the straw of your milkshake, “what was Archie’s excuse?” Jughead looked up, still holding a fry in his fingers. “He said he just had better plans,” he popped the french fry in his mouth. You rolled your eyes, “I’m sorry my brother is so stupid sometimes. It’s like he gets blinded from what truly matters.” Jughead nodded in thought. “It’s okay, really, I should get used to being forgotten.” You shook your head, “nonsense Juggie, you’re too memorable.” He let out a dry chuckle, “If I was, I’d be with my best friend, not his sister.” You swallowed at his words and he realized what he had said. “I didn’t mean it like that, Y/N. I really enjoy hanging out with you.” You nodded, glancing out the window at the blue sky, that was still tinted with colors from the dawn.

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Send one of these in my askbox to see how my muse reacts

“Do you want to build a snowman?”

“Everyone ends up alone.”

“Stay close to me.”

“We need to get away.”

“This is all for you.”

“How could you be so heartless?”

“There’s gotta be another way out.”

“I’ve tried forever getting out on my own.”

“I don’t wanna fight alone anymore.”

“I never thought you would really go.”

“I was being such a fool.”

“But I can’t live without you.”

“If I wanted to leave I would have left by now.”

“Don’t let me down.”

“And now I’m feeling stupid.”

“I’ll only stay with you one more night.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Can’t take it no more.”

“I used to pretend that I felt okay.”

“I’ve failed you again.”

“God knows that I tried…”

“I was dreaming for so long.”

“You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need.”

“If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?”

“We both know how this ends.”

“This is not what I do.”

“Is that alright?”

“Am I even human?”

“I’m a mess.”

“At least I’ve always been myself.”

“No one knows my heart.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“There is something that you need to let me know.”

“Be honest please.”

“Say you’ll stay.”

“I’ll look after you.”

“I wasn’t looking for this.”

“Here’s my number.”

“Where do you think you’re going, baby?”

“I missed you so bad.”

“You see?”

“Come on let’s go and play!”

“Be my baby.”

“Don’t you ever say I just walked away.”

“I will always want you.”

“I never meant to start a war.”

“I just wanted you to let me in.”

“I guess I should’ve let you win.”

“You make me crazy from happiness.”

“You my prince from the fairy tale.”

“Where do I go if you leave?”

“I was afraid you don’t care about me.”

“I can’t forget you.”

“I’m your destiny.”

“You are like frost.”

“We just have to wait until the next life.”

“We need to talk.”

“Where did I go wrong?”

“I lost a friend.”

“If I don’t say this now I will surely break.”

“I’m losing my control.”

“What’s mine is yours to leave or take.”

“You’ve begun to feel like home.”

“If that’s what you want…”

“But I’m only human!”

“I bleed…”

“I can do it!”

“Don’t let them in.”

“Let it go.”

“We only have each other." 

”Okay, can I just, say something crazy?“

"We are meant to be.”

Are You Watching? [m]

Genre : smut

Summary : Your boyfriend has discovered the joke book you thought you’d thrown away, and along with that he’s also found the page in which you circled the words, mirror kink.

In the mirror, which stood at the foot of the bed, you could see his face buried in your neck as he scattered soft kisses down the length of it.

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yall i had a dream that we got a clip from evens pov and it was the most beautiful thing ive watched

Vacation/ Summer starter Pack. 


  • “ It’s too hot, we should really buy some ice-cream.”
  • “ So, do you like swimming ?" 
  • ” It’s summer, time to party.“
  •  ” Days like this are perfect for hanging out with your dearest friend, don’t you think? 
  • “ With this heat the pool is more appealing than ever…" 
  •  ” Do you want to go to beach?“ 
  • ” I heard there is a nice event you might like.“
  • ” Where should we go next?“
  •  ” I wish it could last forever.“ 
  •  ” I’m not sure I want to go back home. It’s awesome here.“
  • ” Get ready, we’re going on a trip!“
  • ” I’m totally ready to start a new summer romance !“ 
  • ” The hotel looked different in the pictures…”
  • “I heard there are some neat places to visit here.”
  • “Why don’t we try some local food?”
  • “I want to take some pictures, we should frame this moment forever.”
  • “I can’t believe we’re finally here!”
  • “Guess who bought two tickets for the waterpark?”

anonymous asked:

could you please shed some light on the last malec's scene? magnus' expression specifically when he says "i can't do anything without thinking of you" like he hates himself for saying it.

That’s because Magnus “Petty” Bane was a nervous pile of nerves in that moment. Harry’s portrait is amazing because you can see Magnus’ anger dissolving into awkwardness and then fear and then hope.

Magnus literally downed his drink before walking outside, took a deep breath, had nervous hands nervously moving as he looked everywhere but at Alec’s general direction, and then did the “this is awkward” lips-pushed-smile.

 Evidence I

When Alec starts to apologize again. Magnus doesn’t want to talk about that anymore, because it doesn’t matter to him anymore. Magnus’ voice is much softer now, telling Alec not to apologize, telling him that his mistake is in the past. Notice that Magnus is hugging himself. He’s insecure, afraid that he may have broken what he and Alec had.

Evidence II

The first thing that Alec says after that is that without Magnus, he can’t think straight. This is when the “I can’t do anything without thinking of you” comes. Alec is shaking his head, Magnus is voicing something that makes him very vulnerable. 

It’s hard to talk about feelings because it makes you vulnerable. For someone as proud and as experienced as Magnus, he knows just how important those words are. He knows that, as great as a feeling that is, it is also a double-edged sword. Magnus’ feelings are so strong, he knows he’ll factor Alec in no matter the circumstances and that is not always a great thing. 

Especially if Alec doesn’t want to get back together with him, after everything that has happened.

You see, Magnus doesn’t know where that conversation is going. Alec’s next words could very well be “we should stay apart, this isn’t good for any of us.” 

But they aren’t. Blunt, honest to a fault Alec just blurts out an “I don’t think I can live without you.” Magnus’ face when he hears it is of someone who has just seen the light at the end of the tunnel. He can barely believe it.

Evidence III

Now Magnus knows where Alec is taking this. Alec wants him back. Alec still loves him. Magnus’ voice was never softer than when he says he thought he had to choose between Alec and the downworld. Magnus is half talking half smiling then, because he didn’t lose Alec, like he feared he had.

Magnus can be 100% sincere and 100% unafraid. And he is. He’s back at moving as he speak, closing the distance between them that he created. Imitating Alec, letting all his walls fall down. He’s laughing again.

This is how I saw this whole scene. In my opinion, it’s not that Magnus hates himself for not being able to stop thinking about Alec. He hates the situation they are now and how, despite everything, Alec is still so present in his mind. He probably never said that out loud. He probably never elaborated that so clearly.

And it might just blow up on his face. But it doesn’t <333