where we're going we don't need context

Where We're Going, We Don't Need Doors

(Precious context: I was playing a troll in a group that was attempting to sneak into the mayor’s house to find out where he keeping his mistress. I was the bullet sponge, we also had a decker and a sneaky person. The following are a series of quotes from the session.)

GM: The guard didn’t spot you, but you made some noise and he’s now paying attention and listening intently. What do you want to do?

Me: Shit, all I’ve got is the sedative-loaded steak. Oh, I know. It’s a contact poison, right? If I hit him in the face with it it’ll knock him out, then the dog can eat it and it’ll knock it out too. Two birds with one stone! *roll a critical fail*

GM: Nice thought, but as you attempt to throw your grip slips and you hit the decker in the face instead.

Me: Oh shit.


Me: They spotted us?

GM: They spotted you.

Me: What are they doing?

GM: Raising their pistols. They’re just aiming at you right now to try and convince you to get lost. What do you want to do in the few seconds before they decide to roll initiative?

Me: So…. I’m a big, tough, troll… And they are puny humans… I run through them and through the plate glass into the house.

Sneak-thief: What?

Me: I’m going loud.


GM: You’re hit… Roll me body and willpower.

Me: *sucky roll* Alright, so what badness comes of this?

GM: Well, at the end of the turn you’ll start vomiting, suffer disorientation, and take… 6 damage.

Me: Damn. I’ve got two actions left, right? Alright, then…

GM: Quickly, clock’s running.

Me: Right, farewell subtlety. Can I tell where his office is?

GM: Sure, you’ve got the map. It’s to your right through the locked door.

Me: I’m a big, tough, troll and those are puny drywall.

GM: Roll me an unarmed attack, to see whether you make a large enough hole.

Me: *first excellent roll of the session*

GM: You’re in the office, leaving a suitable trail of destruction. Roll perception. *I roll well* Good, you see what looks like a burner phone on the desk.

Me: I grab it and pocket it. Now I need to get out of here. Hey, how far is it in a straight line to the car?

GM: Uh… 12? Yeah, 12.

Me: Well, I apparently don’t like to use doors, so I’m going to go to the car before I pass out.

GM: Uh… Right. Roll me another unarmed attack.

Me: *I roll phenomenally high.*

GM: Alright, you tear through the walls like they’re made of tissue paper. You burst through the first wall and right into the mayor’s daughter’s room. She’s awake from all the noise and screams as you run through her room and into the opposite wall. You make it all the way to the car… And then proceed to puke all over the inside of it as the drugs take effect, and you’re unconscious