where the hell did i park that thing

So more on Dexter Grif (season 15 episode 6 spoilers)

Remember back in season 10 when Doc was giving his speech on the good stuff that happened to everyone thanks to Project Freelancer and all adventures of the Reds and Blues? The only two people he hadn’t addressed had been Caboose – who lost Church, and Grif. It might have been because Grif got the, well, Grifshot. Or maybe because he never got what he truly wanted and… After now I think about that a lot.

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sarah’s ultimate fic rec (1/?)

this is only part one because i read too much. i’m making this bc i rly needed a place to organize everything (my ao3 bookmarks are a nightmare yikes), so here! have this! it’s categorized by ship, so it should be easy to navigate your way around.

this one only includes the following ships: yoonmin, yoonkook, vmin, taekook & taegi. i tried to limit myself to 10/20ish fics per ship bc i didn’t want it to get too long, so i’ll add the rest later on & i’ll also include other ships in the next post!

total: 20 yoonmin fics, 23 yoonkook fics, 15 vmin fics, 11 taekook fics, 8 taegi fics (77 fics overall).

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Smooth Operator (Min Yoongi)

Originally posted by fullfangirling27


NonIdolAU!Yoongi

“This food is really good! It’s not as good as mine but it comes very close.”

Word Count: 1,174

Request: Hi can I please have a scenario where the reader is really chill and cool with everything but seems like she doesn’t care sometimes until her boyfriend (Min Yoongi and or/ Mark) figures out that she actually works really hard to ensure that everyone around her is happy (like secretly she makes sure that everything runs smoothly for the people around her). Thanks if you write this!!! I like your writing alot 😊😊😊
Genre:
Fluff

A/N:

This was a good prompt, thank you for being so sweet! I hope you like it!


“So I have to make sure the entire party goes smoothly, make dinner for Yoongi tonight, pick up Jennie’s cat, feed Hoseok’s dog and-“ You muttered to yourself before you heard Your phone ringing, the sudden noise slightly startling you. You picked up the phone upon seeing that the caller ID identified the caller as Yoongi.

“Hey Y/N.”
“Hi Yoongi, how are you.”
“I’m good I’ll just be out maybe another hour or two. Do you want any coffee.”
“No, it’s okay I’m fine. Thank you though.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon. Want me to pick up dinner.”
“No, it’s alright I’ll order something.”
“Alright, bye I love you.”
“I love you too, bye.”

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To Celebrate 200 Followers!!
  1. ”Who’s it’s possible that both of us took out the trash
  2. God, that woman pisses me off to no end!…but that’s why I want her 
  3. “I’m on middle of the fucking fight! Stop it!
  4. I’m gonna throw up, I hope that’s cool 
  5. Come on woman! 
  6. I broke two lower ribs, my stomach is full plum color.. Sleeping is kinda hard
  7. “Jump!”
    “What?!”
    “Aim for the tree!”
  8. “Do you think this is a good idea?”
    “My honest opinion is that this is the worst idea I’ve gotten since going to college, but..”
  9. You broke me out of the prison for this? As grateful as I am for getting me down from that wall, I don’t think you want me messing with that
  10. The kid was around adults all day, he knew how to approach them easily. 
  11. Toni was uncomfortably leaning backwards  on her hands as Scott stitched the wound inches below where the sport bra ended.
  12.  I have a breathing fucking creature inside my stomach, if you want to talk to me, you better fucking speak nice to me.    
  13. “Did you eat my lasagne last night?”
    “I haven’t even seen you in weeks.”
    “That doesn’t mean you haven’t broken into my flat. Remember, I know you.”
  14.   did he just..? Tell me he didn’t just put foot through my door
  15.  “What’s happening with Tom?”
    “Oh it’s full war with him.”
  16. ”Are the knots too tight?”
    “I don’t care.”
    “Well they’re on you..”
  17. She got her ribs kicked in for this?!
  18. “You sure that this is good idea?”
    “This is an great idea, what are you even talking about?”
  19.  “Can I get you something stronger?”
    “What would you suggest, barkeep?”
    “Rum and coke, without rum of course.”
  20. She’s the type of person who will pull the trigger for you when you’re too weak to do this yourself
  21.  You couldn’t have choice the worst time to do that
  22.  She could barely move her toes without grimacing in pain.
  23. With a broken nose and a stitches on her cheek, she showed up at senior’s prom and started a fight
  24. “Who are you?”
    “I’m someone who the people you own money are afraid of.”
  25. “Was that a gunshot?”
    “Gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do.”
    “Was that yes or no to the gun”
  26. I think she grew up with at least one broken rib at any given time
  27. That’s a brave fucking kid
  28.  I stared down at my hands, as people walked past the stairs, laughing and talking to each others. I was starting to feel the pain on my knuckles.
  29. Charlotte lifted her hoodie over her head covering herself from the world and stuffed her hands into the front pockets of hers jeans hunching hers shoulders closer to hers body as if trying to be unnoticeable.
  30. The itching rope was rubbing against my wrists as I tried to yank the rope off, they had bound my legs from ankles and up my knees. Something was tied around my neck, it restrained me from moving, which was obviously doing it’s job right. 
  31. To family. What wouldn’t she do? She took the punches for her siblings, from fists of her father and words of so many who ever were relevant.
  32. “Don’t run!
    “But he’s staring right at me”
  33. You have to admit, she’s great at what she does.
  34. If they trap us, we have good 50 minutes before we could get help. So don’t mess up.
  35. She was the first one to reach there and she took the worst of it
  36. He tightened his grip on my arm again and dug his nails into my skin.
  37. Three of them all squished into the back seat of the car. 
  38. Tyler had my teel backpack on his shoulder, his big form looking ridiculous with such a color
  39. “You thought he was crazy and you decided to just sat down next to him?”
    “He’s an nice guy”
  40. “You can’t deny that this isn’t relaxing.”
    “We are in prison. Nothing relaxing about this”
  41. “We don’t speak about the accident, Dara!”
    “No, no, we do not talk about it! Only mention it several times and wait someone to snap at us!”
    “They will beat us down and yell until we tell them the secret behind the accident.”
  42. Joisie knew that smirk on Rosa’s face. It wasn’t even a smirk, it was just disturbing lift of her red painted lips as she marched through the dance floor.
  43. “What are you doing?“
    “Depends are you going to judge me  or not?“
    “It really depends if you’re cleaning blood off your shirt?”
  44. Her head hurt. Almost enough for her to put a bullet in her own head
  45. “Pretended to be my sister!”
    “Seriously, again? Who lies about having a sister to get a girl?”
  46. “This is going to hurt.“
    “To be honest, you’d done much”
  47. “If I one more time wake up with duct tape over my mouth, I will throw you out of the fucking balcony.”
    “It’s not my fault that you snore!” 
  48. “You could’ve called, Kurt.”
    “Is he home?”
    “Passed out cold mid-way up the stairs. 
  49. She can pass the polygraph easily, you know that.
  50. Following people isn’t nice, you know. 
  51. Someone came to clean up the place?
  52. “Can you contact him?”
    “It isn’t so easy..”
    “Can you or can you not?”
  53. “You look bit homeless there”
    “I am bit homeless, though” 
  54. My clothes weight so much because of this damn mud. 
  55. I can’t hold you, you fat bastard. Use your feet to climb
  56. Only you would ask somebody who you met for the first time to break you out of a damn prison
  57. She will kill you if that’s the only way to get him back
  58. You know what they called me. You know my reputation 
  59. “You didn’t actually kill him, did you?”
    “Well now, you really have to define killing and accidentally letting him die”
  60. Not answering the phone is not a new thing for her
  61. Should I apologize and kick you or not apologize and kick you.
  62. And once again we are on the starting point. Crying on the playground.
  63. I’m working on my anger issues and seeing you angers me the most, so stay the hell away
  64. I’m not saying we should worry, but we have no breaks and the bridge is ending.
  65. We have a lead. Well, it’s more of a stupid ass guess, but it’s somethin’
  66. “Where did you bury her?”
    “Lake Baika”
  67. “We have possible sighting of her in Waterfront Park, Seattle”
    “How sure?“
    “It’s her. It’s definitely her.”
  68. “Your name is James? But you’re a girl“
    “My father was in drugs when he decided it“
  69. Explain the blood
  70. I pulled the trigger, hoping that the bullet magically would turn around and kill me instead
  71. “I’m a graphic designer, not a firefighter!”
    “Nobody told you how to throw water to a fire?”
  72. who did you manage to fell asleep in the bathtub?
  73. You really have high tolerance of pain, don’t ya?
  74. “Does your shoulder hurt?”
    “I have a butcher knife sticking out of me! What the fuck do you think?!”
  75. It’s amazes me how you are willingly to put your body through everything only to hurt her
  76. “Will you dig me out if this collapses in?
  77. She slowly brought the spoon to her mouth, closing her eyes as the warm liquid touched her lips. It was like she was afraid to eat. 
  78. There was no sympathy in her words
  79. Her past flickered in her eyes, the torture and pain coming back in waves.  
  80. Have you eaten breakfast yet?
  81. If she hits someone again, she will get kicked out
  82. She might be in prison by then
  83. She threw her bag and the cigarettes on the backseat
  84. She laid on her bed, pouring last of the mashed up chips down her throat. Relaxing her arms and letting them slam down against the mattress. 
  85. She didn’t fight back, not against him.“
  86. Tell me that this is never going change”
    “But the truth is, this is going to change.
  87. I jumped to the couch, placing my leg on his lap. “Touch me.” I dramatically whispered, “I just shaved.” Isaiah laughed, pushing my legs away. 
  88. Ohhh, that ain’t good
  89. I don’t aim on being the sweetheart one
  90. I kept the helm of the dress up, as I ran towards Leo, grabbing him into one arm hug
  91. After I had kicked the ball to Gordon, a third leg intervened, tackling me to the ground. 
  92. His leg managed to connect left side of my face
  93. On second period, I dragged myself in my car and passed out in the backseat
  94. She and Diego did every single thing that a parents would do for their kids
  95. You still don’t seem to understand. She doesn’t care if she dies, and that’s a biggest problem for us
  96. I am parked outside your house, so get your ass out here or we’re gonna leave
  97. Okay, I just want to put you on mute right now
  98. My girl, you are crazy as hell
  99. Bennett leaned against the wall, staring down at my shoes as I nervously tapped it against the ground
  100. You do whatever you hate to do to save her
  101. “Don’t be an asshole this time, okay?”
    “If you mean the blood mojito thing, it wasn’t my fault –“
    “It was definitely your fault, so shut up.”
  102. She had her head over the sink, both doctors stapling her busted up head
  103. “Put a towel under your head so the sheets won’t be bloody.”
  104. The bandages around my torso constricted painfully as I drew in a deep breath, hoping the stitches wouldn’t tear. 
  105. It’s special if he choice you from 23 girls.”
    “Yes, or he might be a serial killer or creepy otherwise.”
    “Or like last time, it might be grandpa of one of our girls and you have to bring your medical past back up.”
  106. Okay, that was an aggressive door slam.
  107. ”Just a heads up, Eric’s looking for you”
    Of course he is.”
  108.  One week here, and she stabbed three of our staff members, landed seven patient into medical care.  
  109. She’s the best damn sniper in this base
  110. I mean let’s be honest. This isn’t exactly working. 
  111. You still believe in happy endings? 
  112. Both of them could see the silvery white scar, about a half an inch wide, midway down her rib cage. 
  113. Ronnie was regretting her idea of putting high heeled ankle boots as she struggled to keep up with Nikki, who was walking ahead, kicking the snow and sleet
  114. Half-finished cigarette stumps were scattered on the last step
  115. My job is to run in front of everyone and not to get killed. Simple
  116. I jumped around to keep the balance as I ripped my shoe off, chunking it away to corner.
  117. “Anslo is going to kill you”
    “Quite many people are going to kill me”
  118. “I don’t think you understand.. I’m not an angel. I kill people, I murder people.. it’s my work, my job is to kill.”
  119. “If you ever again hurt her, look at her bad way.. I will kick in your miserable little balls. I will show you how it feels like to be beaten by somebody how once said ‘I love you’ to you. I can make it to hurt..”
  120. ”You should get somebody who actually wants to help you”
    “I will buy you double”
  121. “Could you explain why you are even with him?”
    “Somebody’s gotta do it. I’m taking a bullet for everybody else”
  122. “How can you even sleep next to him?”
    “Well, the snarleks is paying off with other things”
    “I don’t wanna even know.”
  123. Hey Mikey! Your father wants you to phone!
  124. You want to play her game? Don’t. You don’t want to get into it, believe me.
  125. Drown on a fish pool asshole
  126. Apparently I’m only good at taking beatings
  127. “I trust her”
    “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t trust herself.”
  128. Someone just proposed in our dorm. Anybody know who’s Marley
  129. The dwarf looked her with disgust
  130. “Do you think she will stay?”
    “Knowing her.. I think she will 
  131. “You were supposed to bring the ladder”
    “I did. The bike is the ladder.”
    “No! Bike is not a ladder.”
    “I hold it, you climb up the wall of amazement.” 
  132. She wouldn’t last much longer, both of them knew it. Her knees were going to give up soon
  133. She leaned her forehead against the wall, letting the cold water run down her back.  
  134. “The safe house in Casablanca has been compromised”
  135. He ran up the stairs of Pinehurst Avenue 
  136. On the back roads of Nebraska, custom made Harley left a dusty cloud behind as it roared down the gravel route. 
  137. “I got inspired by genius but insane dictator Adolf Hitler, and got six.”
    “I can’t possibly imagine what word you got.”
    “Hither.”
  138. Lee can’t stop laughing, so I already have thoughts about this.
  139. “Question is, would I lie to you?”
    “Yes!”
    “She totally would.”
  140. I once had to dive out of my girlfriend’s window because his father tried to chop me in half with an axe
  141. Whatever she says, you do and you follow her 
  142. Don’t get into a fucking knife fight
  143. “Do you want me to do it?”
    “No.”
    “Are you sure? Hundred present sure? I have great change of breaking his neck”
  144. I just need to you are  alright, call me back.
  145. I may be getting way too old for this
  146. “I have to… go.. Need to shower my.. cat”
    “She doesn’t want to talk you assbag, go along”
  147. “Shut up, you don’t have option in this. Take the fucking leather tie off and don’t do anything stupid.”
  148. “Yeah, give her a reason to trust you even less!”
    “It’s not my fault that she can’t trust anybody!”
    “No, it’s exactly people like you why she can’t do that anymore.”
  149. You can’t just keep hitting everything you see 
  150. “You look like..”
    “Mess? I’m aware”
  151. You just fucked up our dinner!
  152. “What are you –?”
    “My father was one of the nutcases that were obsessed with zombie outbreak. Turns out that fucker was right.”
  153. Let the man in before he breaks my doorbell
  154. “I’m going to stay out of it this time. My old man is going to send me in Chicago if I get expelled one more time.”
    “What’s in Chicago?”
    “Not him.”
  155. I hold my books up against his chest, to keep his face coming even inch closer. 
  156. “Don’t be childish!”
    “What does that even mean?”
  157. If you haven’t noticed, huge part of my leg is in the desert in Afghanistan
  158. Charles had never understood her, but he had accepted that he couldn’t  
  159. John poured half bottle of vodka on me
  160. “He’s passed out in very weird position in the bathroom.”
  161. Stop slapping me with rings on! It h.u.r.t.s!
  162. Stop asking me to be your girlfriend! 
  163. Help me get off these stupid boyshorts.
  164. I can’t feel my thighs 
  165. Do you know how much replacing doors cost? Windows are also so fucking expensive.
  166. just remember personal space with her and you will be alright
  167. “You are so needy right now”
    “I’m aware”
  168. the game of ‘don’t touch the jellyfish’ is more painful than I thought
  169. there’s no people in 10 miles and I managed to run into a maniac
  170. “Do I have to?”
    “Sooner or later.”
    “Well I’m sure she’s willing to tell everything to you.”
  171. Do you think I can swallow the charge cord?
  172. “Do we have a ladder?”
    “If you’re trying to take the perfect photo of Empire State Building in our roof. No, we do not own a ladder.”
    “I just want to take the poster down from the ceiling.”
  173. “Are you and - ?”
    “Jackson. We are roommates.”
  174. “It’s landlord!”
    “Okay, we practiced this! Go, go!”
  175. yeah, you tried to drink beer out of you eye, it was quite amusing to look actually 
  176. Who did you run into a gun wielding gang within a two minutes entering here?
  177. “That’s not smart!”
    “I’m not trying to be smart!”
  178. “He has slight problems”
    “Slight?!”
    “I mean, we can discuss this whole night but”
  179. “When’s the last time you ate? And I mean real food.”
    “I had those ribs two days ago at your house”
  180. She has friends in high places, that’s why she has the job
  181. “How’s she alive?”
    “I’ve been asking that since she was born”
  182. “Does she have TV in there?”
    “Had. But her idea of shutting it off was to shoot it, so”
  183. “Go low!”
    “Low? What do you mean low? Stop confusing me!”
  184. You wrapped pizza box.. most amazing birthday present ever 
  185. “You mind if I crash here?”
  186. He uses fancy words that I don’t understand
  187. “Is your hair still green?”
    “I don’t think my mother really wants to me to ruin my hair again”
  188. Just pull your hood up. 
  189. You are same age now that your mother got you, she may not be worried but I am! 
  190. Your father looks like bodybuilding Santa. It’s quite attractive 
  191. “I know nobody here. What I’m going to do?”
    “Blend in.”
  192. Can you stop hanging out alone in the bathrooms when we are in parties? 
  193. What we discussed about the B-word?
  194. “So he can call you bitch but I can’t?”
    “You already call me slut. Easy with the insults okay?”
  195. “Why do you have a shirt with my face in it?”
    “You’re my best friend”
  196. “What’s wrong with you?”
    “I have kind of fucked up nerve ends”
  197. I got no fucking gun!
  198. What does under control mean to you? Because you have bazooka in your hands and I don’t think it’s safety to blast it inside the house  
  199. “You’re dating a firefighter?”
    “Well dating is a strong term to use”
  200. It’s like you don’t even know how much I love you
11 AM

Bucky x OC 

Notes: fluffy, silly, sweet, some swearing, mentions of anxiety. 

A/N: this was somehow inspired by the song Bright Eyes by Simon and Garfunkel. Dunno how. AND! First OC! Felt the need to switch it up a bit. Enjoy! 

Originally posted by mylastlove-mylastsong

His heart skips a beat, then another, as it always does when he sees her. It’s not a coincidence, not at all. He makes sure he’s there every Saturday, 11 AM, at the same spot at the same park. It’s easy enough, he just took it up in his routine to run around the park about twenty times, leaving his apartment around 10, walk across town -all of town- and get up a good sweat. She seems as meticulous about her routine as he is; she always jogs right past him at 11 AM on the dot, rain or shine. At that time Bucky’s always at one of the park benches, pretending to take a break to stretch. But the moment she passes him by, he waits a few more seconds and takes off again, following her path. He’s done this for about three weeks now, ever since he decided he wanted some different scenery from the route he used to run. The first time he saw her he felt like his heart was going to give out, his lungs didn’t seem to have the capacity to hold oxygen for him. He followed her without really noticing, and before he knew it she’d stopped and made ready to leave. He had just enough of his resolve left to not follow her straight home and snapped out of it at the entrance of the park.

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I am Baby

Reader Request: Hi. Do you write human!impala? Could you do one with either of the boys and human!Impala? Something smutty, maybe? Can she be brown-skinned/ dark-skinned? I’m thinking she’d either be naive because she didn’t really know how humans work, or she’d be very knowledgeable due to all of Dean’s past conquests in her back seat. Or maybe she thinks she knows stuff, but she she doesn’t? So something smutty but funny? I’m sorry this is all over the place. Thanks either way. (requested by smile-it-wont-suck-forever)

Characters:  Dean Winchester x female reader/human!Impala

Word Count: 3642

Warnings:  reluctant Dean; virgin reader (she was a car, so yeah she’s a virgin); angsty

Author’s Note: I wanted this to be funny, but the story had other ideas. So, it came out sort of sad and angsty.

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anonymous asked:

Actor AU, everyone is actors for the show Naruto. Sakura's actor has a secret bf and everyone's trying to figure out who?

Sakura smiled bashfully up at Sasuke, snuggling closer to his side as the children around them screamed and yelled enough to be funny.

“And cut!” The camera pulled away. “That’s a wrap, send it to print!”

Sakura exhaled, stepping away from Sasuke and rubbing her face. The make up came off in her hands but it was the end of the day and she didn’t need it anymore. And besides, it’s not like there weren’t layers of it on her. No one would notice. 

“You did well, Sakura.” She looked up to see Sasuke still hadn’t gone back to his dressing room as per usual. He had a bad habit of lingering when it was just the two of them.

“You didn’t do too bad yourself,” she answer in an easy grin.

When she took a step off the set he followed. “You give any thought about the extension they’re pitching to the studio. They wanted to keep all the original actors from the Borito shorts.”

Sakura frowned, knowing she had been discreet about how much she disliked her most recent work. She wasn’t the type of person to leave one job until she knew she had another lined up, but it was getting harder and harder to find work that didn’t typecast her as the annoying, love sick female with a temper. The Borito movie just made it worse, but work was hard to come by.  

“Did you hear how long it would be for?”

“Four to six seasons.”

Sakura shut her eyes and whimpered. There was no way she could do it, not after her character had been so mishandled by the writers. 

“I don’t know, it’ll have to be something we talk over. My boyfriend wants me to move overseas with him and take a break from work.”

She hadn’t noticed Sasuke stopped walking until she was at the snack table and there was no one for her to hand the extra plate off to. She blinked, looking around and finding Sasuke exactly where she left him.

“Sasuke?” She narrowed her eyes in his direction. “You okay?”

He coughed into his hand and crossed the rest of the way to stand beside her. “Y-yeah. No, um…you never mentioned a boyfriend. How long have you been together?”

“It’s long distance, but for about six months now.”

“Only six months and he wants you to move overseas with him? Sounds like a hotshot. Do I know him?”

Sakura shrugged, picking up a set of tongues and using them to pile the noodles on her plate. A year ago she wouldn’t have dared eat whatever she wanted, but she was saying to hell with a diet that only landed her in the damsel role. When Sasuke didn’t take the tongues from her she realized he was still waiting on an answer.

“I’m not sure. You probably don’t, sorry,” she answered with a flush. 

“Hn.”

Later that evening Sasuke had managed to wrangle Neji and Naruto into his dressing room, the former of which was pissed off at having been called from the neighboring set where he was filming a period drama. Kakashi and Sai were on their way and bringing snacks. 

“What’s this about, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, hands behind his head.”You sounded more pissed than usual. I thought you had a cute filming scene with Sakura today, those always put you in a good mood.”

Neji glowered from where he sat, while Sasuke just flushed angrily. “Shut up, you idiot. I do not-it doesn’t. Ugh, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

“Are they bringing me back as a ghost for the new series, otherwise I’m out of here,” Neji sighed, staring down at his fingernails that had been expertly polished and buffed. 

“Sakura’s seeing someone.” 

“What?!” from the doorway Kakashi dropped his bag of snacks as a look of horror overtook his unmasked face. Beside him Sai looked angry.

“What the hell did you just say?” Sai asked through a sneer as he looked over the group.

“Who is it?” Neji demanded, leaning forward. This was more important than his nails. 

“She wouldn’t tell me. She said I wouldn’t know who he was but I think she was covering for him. He lives overseas.” 

“How long has my baby been compromised?” Kakashi asked in a whine. 

Sasuke winced. “Six months.”

Sai cursed loudly and kicked something before shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his black straight leg jeans. He glared at the floor where the extra chair had fallen. “How the hell did you let this happen?” he seethed. “You were with her the whole time thanks to the new writer. You were supposed to watch over her.” 

“Wait, new writer? Is that the chick you were shamelessly flirting with in the trailer park last week?” Naruto asked. 

“She liked the romance angle I was leaning towards,” Sasuke grumbled. “And I wasn’t flirting. I wouldn’t do that to Sakura.”  

“You’re not an item,” Neji huffed, rolling his eyes. “Reality and fiction are two different things. Get it right.” 

Sasuke sneered, stomping down his bitter remarks for the killed off actor who always seemed closer with Sakura off set. It had been the whole reason Sasuke suggested Neji’s tragic sacrifice last season.  

“Point is, we need to figure out who this guy is. Where were we shooting six months ago? We were on location in Whales, weren’t we?” Sasuke looked up at Kakashi and Sai. “Do you remember her going anywhere, seeing anyone?”

Kakashi looked like he was internally panicking while Sai just seethed more and more as he pressed himself into a corner to kick at the molding. He had been in a dark phase since the Borito short started up. 

Naruto snapped his fingers. “Wait, maybe it was before then. You know we were shooting Borito in Whales but before that we were all on vacation. Sakura had photos on her website of places she visited.”

“That narrows it down,” Neji huffed. “She did the whole Europe tour. She could have met someone anywhere. 

A loud thunk made all the males look up and over at where Sai was banging his head into the wall repeatedly. 

Naruto frowned. “Um, Sai, you’re not supposed to damage your face. That’s not good for you.” 

Sai just kept banging his head against the wall. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Leave him be, it’s not like he has a significant role other than Ino’s arm candy anytime soon.”

The banging got louder and Kakashi had to reach over and pull the boy away from the wall with no little struggling. “Sai, hun, are you crying?” the older man asked.

“No,” Sai sniffled. “I just have plaster in my eye. Don’t look at me.” 

Neji stood, brushing the wrinkles out of his French Military style jacket. “You ladies may amuse yourself however you see fit. I’m employing the aid of my sisters to see what they can dig up. I’ll expect to be kept informed if any of you uncover anything more.” 

“Ah, and I’ll ask Gaara. I think the two of them still keep in touch,” Naruto offered.

Kakashi was still rubbing circles into Sai’s back. “I’ll see what I can dig up with her agent. He’s an old friend of Obito’s so I have a connection.” 

Sasuke nodded, looking to Sai who was still smearing tears across his face. Wincing, Sasuke decided the emotionally unstable actor was more trouble than he was worth and didn’t press him for help. 

“Fine, this is a top priority. I want a name ASAP.” 


“Wait?” Karin was coughing over the side of her wrist while also trying to hide her smile. “You didn’t even make up a name?”

“I was blindsided, okay!” Sakura hissed. “I couldn’t think of anything and then Sasuke kept asking for details. Help me.”

Karin laughed. “Oh no, this is your own hole. You can dig yourself out of it. Why don’t you just say you broke up or something. They’ll stop pestering you after that.”

“Then they’ll pester me more about other things. I can’t do another season, Karin, I can’t. It’s insulting what they’ve done with my character.”

Karin snorted. “Welcome to the club. Oh, but I did find out those details you wanted about the Pirate drama you were interested in. You want it?”

Sakura nodded, taking the information packet from her friend and feeling only slightly better. 

I Have To Work

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

Request: Scenario where Chanyeol keeps on coming home late and you get worried that he’s working too hard.

Word Count:3037

Genre: Angst and fluff at the end

Note: I honestly could not think of a more creative title soz

Keep reading

3

(You have any Owen or even Chris Pratt imagines/stories in mind? Request right away! It’s Jurassic World/Owen Grady week!)

“They gotta be joking. They are joking right? They must be joking” Owen grumbled as he and Barry walked towards the newly set training area.

“Nope they’re not” Barry said matter-of-factly.

“What the hell where they thinking? Building this place again? Even after all the things that happened? Unbelievable” he shook his head.

“Well, people liked the park and as it seems they still do. Did you see how many people there were?” he replied.

“You tell me! People are insane that’s what I have to say. Even after the things that happened here they just keep coming and coming” he said with a sigh.

“And they even rebuilt the Raptor training area” Barry said “Didn’t they call you to come back and work here? They called Claire and most of us that used to work here before.”

“Yeah, yeah they did but I told them I needed time. After losing the girls it was hard to cope with being here again”

“But you did say yes. Isn’t that why you are here?” he asked him.

“Yeah, yeah. Well, Blue is alive so I didn’t feel like just not coming back for her, you know. They said that I should see on the new facilities before I started working again that’s why I am here earlier than needed. To take a look on everything.”

“Well, then I am pretty sure you are going to enjoy this” Barry said and opened the door to the safety cage for him and Owen to enter.

“Raptors” he mumbled with a smile, nodding his head as he took in their looks.

“How long have they been in training?” he asked turning to glance at Barry for a while.

“Uh just a couple months, every since the park opened again”

“Hmh and have they done a good job or not? Is the new trainer better than me or what?” he asked him with a smirk.

“Well, I’m not going to say anything just in case you think I’ve gone nuts.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Owen frowned.

“You’ll have to wait and see for yourself” Barry kept the mystery.

Owen frowned, looking at him for a while and then turned his head to look at the Raptors. It was almost silence for a while until a voice was heard-

“Pig loose!” 

And Owen’s eyes widened as he saw a guy run with a stick to catch it. This hauntingly familiar and he honestly feared what was to happen next.

Because it did.

-To be Continued-

Boys’ Club: Real

Request by miller1967winchester: You should do a series Dean x reader going off of the plot of Mulan where the reader pretends to be a male hunter because female hunters get looked down upon but then she gets revealed as a women Dean leaves her cause he doesn’t trust her but then during the fight with Micheal and the whole ass butt scene it’s the reader who really ends up Saving them

Summary: You took Sam’s place in the Cage so that Dean could get his brother back… We all know what happens when someone brings a Winchester back to life…

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3297

Boys’ Club    Backup    Just Dean     Fallout    Aftershock


“Sammy?” Dean repeated, sure that he was hallucinating.

Sam grinned a little and shrugged a shoulder. “Hey Dean.”

“What are—what happened?” Dean stared at his little brother, torn between relief and anxiety. Coming back from the dead was hard enough. Coming back from the Cage meant something big had to have happened.

Unless what came back wasn’t Sam.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

A scene based off a Parks and Rec episode where Grimm Bees attack the school and Sun protects Blake in his shirt while saying "I WILL PROTECT YOU! I'VE BEEN STUNG BY A BEE BEFORE! DID NOTHING! I AM IMMUNE!" and the there's Yang who immediately picks up and carries Neptune and then jumps out the window with him and across town.


Step 1: GRAB THE SMOL ROSEBUD AND THE BOYF

Step 2: Run like hell

Sister Sister

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x reader

Summary/Request:Would you mind writing a TVd Oneshot with Damon please? Maybe she’s like Caroline’s twin and it’s back in the beginning when he was using Caroline so maybe he starts talking to her one day thinking its Caroline and she’s like what who are you and he’s like you know don’t pretend blah blah and then maybe later he sees them at mystic grill together and is all flirty with Y/N and buying drinks etc and Caroline’s wants him to back off but Y/N just as flirty maybe please? - Anonymous

Word Count: 2697

“Care, why the hell are you wearing a scarf? And a long sleeved t shirt? It’s like 30 degrees” You asked your twin.

“It looks stylish”

“Really? you look like a mime.”

“Whatever, Y/N. Tell mum that I’m going to be home later.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m going to make dinner too, I’ll leave you a plate in the microwave.”

“You’re the best.”

“What are big sisters for?”

You sauntered away and headed to the store to buy some stuff for dinner. With your mum always working at the station and Caroline always being miss extra curriculars you were the one who dealt with the dinner and cleaning. You managed to match Caroline’s grades while you did all of your other things. Once you were done at the store you headed home and began dinner. While you were cooking your front door opened.

“Mum? Dinner will be done soon, but I thought you were going have dinner at the station?”

“Well well, domestic goddess.” He came over to the pot and dipped a finger into the sauce pot.

“needs more salt and chilli flakes.”

You rolled your eyes and tasted your sauce too, you agreed with Damon and added the seasoning.

“Why are you here?”

“You know why, come on.”

He took your hand and raised it to his mouth.

You pulled back, disgusted.

“Come on Caroline what about our agreement”

He tried to take your hand again.

“Fuck off, I’m not Caroline. I’m her sister Y/N”

“She has a sister?”

“Yeah, she does.”

“This is awkward. I’m Damon Salvatore.”

“I know, I’ve heard about you”

“Well, your sauce smells good.” 

He came and dipped again.

“Now it’s perfect.”

“Look, this is cool and what not but can you please leave?”

“Right, I’m sorry. your food is amazing by the way, Y/N”

He winked and left the kitchen. You packed some food in a tupperware box for your mum and headed to the station.

You walked past your mum’s colleagues and they greeted you, some commenting on how nice your food smelt.

“Hey mum”

“Hey, honey.”

“Got your food”

“Smells great.”

You smiled and sat on her desk.

“Can you run a name through the database? 

“Yeah sure”

“Damon Salvatore”

She looked at you.

“A boyfriend?”

“No, I’ve seen him around the Grill and I want to get the job there.”

“Right” 

She still typed his name in.

“His record is clean”

“Really? Not even a speeding ticket?”

“Nope.”

“Can you check any other towns and cities?”

“Yes I can but why do you want to know so much?”

“Because I don’t want to work near a criminal”

Your mother wanted to ask why you were so paranoid but she decided against it to save herself the trouble.

“It’s going to take some time so when I find out you’ll find out”

“Okay thank you. love you and make sure you eat it!”

She chuckled as you walked out. While you returned home you debated whether you should confront Caroline on her ‘friendship’ with Damon.

“Care! I’m home!” You yelled out.

“I’m in my room” 

You bounded up the stairs and jumped onto her bed. 

“So, there’s this guy”

“OH MY GOD! Tell me!”

“Hes tall, brown haired. the most beautiful eyes. He dresses like a bad boy. Oh my god, his muscles!”

“What’s his name?”

“Damon Salvatore”

“What?! Stay away Y/N”

“Why?” You asked tilting your head to the side.

“He’s just not good for you.”

“Then why was he good for you huh? He mistook me for you and the shit he did was weird. Why do you kiss each other on the wrist?”

“He’s just not good for you Y/N. I swear, if you date him I’ll never talk to you again.”

“Then why the hell were you with him? You’re such a hypocrite, Care”

“Get out”

“Have I hit a nerve? Did I find your dirty little secret?”

“GET OUT”

“Fuck yourself” you snarled and left her room.

You were sat on your bed and felt the remorse instantly. You don’t know how things got to where they were. You just wanted to confront her about it but you judged her, something you swore you would never do. It was a complete and total accident but she needed to know how stupid she was being. 


You felt a tap on your shoulder while you were reading in the park. You looked up and saw Damon. 

“Can I help you?” You asked sassily

“Yes you can. I need your intelligence”

“Are you sure you don’t want to make out with my wrist”

“Well if you’re offering I wouldn’t decline”

“It wasn’t an offer. What do you want”

He dropped a book in your lap. You picked it up and inspected it.

“It looks really old.”

“Because it is, well done for the inference though Sherlock”

“Why do you need me?”

“It seems like my ancestors liked to write in riddles and I can’t figure out what they mean”

You went to all of the book marked pages and began to work through the answers to the riddles. Damon made the process fun by giving sarcastic quips and getting frustrated when you spent more than 15 minutes on a certain riddle. He was pretty cute in that respect. Also him lying on his arm gave you a view of his flexed bicep which was what helped you through the ordeal.

“Maybe he’s talking about an ass”

“Damon why the hell would he say his idea was to take it into the ass?”

“Maybe he was gay? Or experimenting in the bedroom with his wife”

“I don’t think he would need to turn ass into a riddle”

“Then what is it?”

“A barn”

“A barn?”

“Yeah, you keep donkeys in barns, which is why you thought it was an ass plus it makes more sense to keep the thing hidden within the hay”

“You’re a genius. At least now we know who the smart one in the family is”

You laughed.

”You’re the first person to realise that. Everyone thinks it’s care only because she’s a lot more school involved”

“Aren’t you? I mean I see your name up around the school a lot”

“Yeah but it’s for one thing, they just haven’t changed the posters”

“They really ought to, it won’t do them any bad having your face plastered around the school”

“I’ll just be mistaken for Caroline”

“You guys don’t look that identical”

“Which is why you thought I was her?”

“Well now that I’ve had a chance to study your face you don’t look completely identical”

“Name me some differences”

“Well your hair is longer and slightly darker, you have a different eye brow shape, your lips are ever so slightly fuller and your cheekbones are more defined”

“Hmm fine”

He smiled at you and you realised how handsome Damon was, his true smile made him look more gentle and less aloof.

“I’m getting burnt out so I’m going to head home, if you need more help, text me”

“What must a man do to receive your phone number?”

“Ask kindly”

“Ms Y/N Forbes, would you please allow me the honour of having your esteemed phone number logged into my cell phone,, ” Damon said with a posh voice, grasping your hand.

You giggled.

“Why, yes you may”

You exchanged phone numbers and you drove home after he offered to take you.

The next day while you were walking into the school, everyone was staring at you. You thought everyone though you were Caroline and that she’d done something stupid when you walked in to see your face all over the walls. Some of them showed the differences between you and Caroline while others had a selfie from instagram. You walked to you locker and set your books in to it, you were about to call Damon when he tapped you on your shoulder. 

“Surprise!”

“Why is my face all over the school walls?”

“Because the posters needed an update.”

“Yeah just the ones that already had my face on them. Not every other one”

“I spent my time ripping down every other poster and replacing it with your new ones and I don’t even get a thank you?”

“Wait, every single one? Like EVERY single one?“

“Yep”

As if it were planned, Caroline came storming towards you.

“Why the hell is your face all over the school?”

“Because I have a secret admirer? I don’t know”

“Every single poster for the cheer tryouts was ripped off. How do you expect freshmen to come?”

“Are you sure it’s not because it’s her face up their and not yours, blondie?”

“So you did it? Have you got the hots for my sister or something?”

“Yeah, I did, because your sister should not be overshadowed by you as she has been for the past 4 years.”

“I do not over shadow her”

“ENOUGH” You yelled, causing everyone to turn and stare.

“Damon, leave. Caroline, tell the teachers I’m ill and get me today’s work. I’m not staying here a moment longer” You slammed your locker shut and and began to walk away, ignoring Damon and Caroline ’s calls.

You got into your car and drove to the station. 

“Why aren’t you at school?”

“Sanity day.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

You began to explain the situation to your mum.

“And the most annoying thing is she gets so pissed off for no damn reason. She’s such an attention seeker”

“You know how insecure she is”

“But does that give her the right to push me out of the way? Do you know the amount of times a guys come and tried to flirt with me because he thought I was her?”

“If you feel like that then tell her”

“And what will she do? Dismiss it, like always”

“Look, you can’t harbour these feelings against your twin sister, Y/N. When Caroline gets home tonight, tell her how you feel, or if you’re still angry then write everything down on a piece of paper and then burn it.”

You didn’t reply and you just thought about the situation for a second.

“Yeah, we’ll go to the Grill tonight.”

“There we go. Now, who wants to help me read through some reports?”

You jumped up and grabbed a file from the stack on her desk and began to read through it. You spent the majority of your time reading through the reports and at around two your mum offered to go and grab lunch. While you waited you checked through your phone notifications. Most of them were from your friends asking about your explosive argument, one was from your service provider telling you that you were close to finishing your data allowance there was also one from Damon.

Damon: Hey, you okay?

Y/N: Hey, yeah I’m fine, just got a bit pissed off is all.

Damon: Where’d you go?

Y/N: W/ my mum at the station. Listen, are you free tonight?

Damon: Yeah, why?

Y/N: Me and care are going to the Grill to patch things up, in case it ends in an argument and I storm out I don’t want her to be without a ride

Damon: so you need me to be your ride home?

Y/N: Pretty please?

Damon: what do I get in return? 😉😬

Y/N: Gratitude and bourbon?

Damon: deal. Why do you care anyway? Why doesn't she get Elena or someone to pick her up?

Y/N: their weak ass’ don’t like getting involved it fucking pisses me off.

Damon: why?

Y/N: some bullshit about not wanting to get into a fight with either one of us, foolish children.

Damon: haha so this is gonna sound serious, but I want to ask you something.

Y/N: ominous much?

“Y/N, I’m back bearing a burrito,” Your mum said dropping the bag onto her desk.

Y/N: hold that thought, my burrito’s here and it has importance over you 😛😘

You locked your phone and went to grab your food.

“A chicken burrito with tortilla chips, salsa and extra guac”

You took the bag from her and ripped off the wrapping and took a huge bite

“Ugh I love you mother”

She chuckled and sat at her desk to eat her own food. Once you finished eating you thought it would be a good idea to return home. Caroline would be home from school and it would give you the chance to talk to her about dinner.

The both of you returned home at the same time, as you pulled into the driveway, Matt dropped her out of his car. 

“Hey Y/N, we missed you in history today”

“Sorry”

Caroline walked past you and you followed behind her. She unlocked the door and you both went inside.

“So, I spoke with mum and she said we need to talk this out, so were having dinner at the grill. Be ready by 6.”

“Yeah, okay”

At 6 you both left for the Grill. You texted Damon and told him you were leaving and you arrived fifteen minutes later.

Matt seated you at the bar and took your order.

“So about today,” you said, prompting Caroline to apologise.

“Yeah,”

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I don’t need to say anything you’re the one who made this into a big deal.”

“ME?! I think you’re confused.”

“No, if you didn’t have feelings for Damon then-”

“Hold up there, I only bought up Damon because I wanted to know what your relationship with him was”

“Why do you care?”

“Because he tried to make out with my arm as I have told you already”

Before the conversation got more heated Damon strolled into the Grill.

“Blondie, Y/N”

Caroline rolled her eyes while you greeted him back.

“Two bourbons”

Caroline scoffed.

“She doesnt want anything from you”

“Oh so now you speak for me?”

“Come on Y/N, him really?”

“Well two humans as beautiful as Y/N and I must be together, its destiny.”

You giggled as Matt placed the cups in front of Damon. You took a glass and downed it. 

“I like a man who has a good taste in alcohol.”

“Well then, honey, you’ll love me”

“Stop flirting with my sister.”

He ignored her and placed his hand on the small of your back. You felt a jolt of electricity run up your spine making you sit up.

“So what I wanted to text you about before you dumped me for mexican food. I want to go out with you. On a proper real date.”

“No way”

“He wasnt asking you Caroline, he was asking me. But okay. I’ll go out on a date with you. How can I resist a hot guy who knows his drinks and how to treat a woman?”

She growled slightly.

“I want to go home”

You threw her your keys.

“Go ahead”

“But-”

“I’ll drop her” Damon interjected.

She took her bag from the bar and stormed out.

“It wasnt meant to happen like this” You groaned your head falling into your hands.

“I was meant to apologise to her and we were meant to be okay and now-”

Damon lifted your head and pressed his lips to yours. you were shocked at first but then began to move along with him. He pulled away and placed a hand on your cheek.

“I’ll talk to her okay?”

“Thank you. I hope you don’t think this is our first date”

“It’s not?”

“Nope”

“I guess I’ll have to make an effort the next time”

Carpool Karaoke

Author: underthesebb
Pairing: reader x Sebastian Stan
Word Count: 3,876
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Idk, probably none…OH WAIT!  There’s a little section where the reader is out of her seat belt while the car is moving…don’t do that guys!

Keep reading

Too many possible jokes here. Phallic architecture is nothing new, but this is a “pleasure tower.” Ribbed… Okay, but look at how ridiculous a plan this is. This is the vanity of modern building and car culture right here. “Yeah so we’re going erect this big concrete thing that’ll be twice as high as the Empire State Building. And people won’t ride glass elevators to the top or anything like that; they’ll drive up a long, terrifying ramp to a parking garage. How fun!” This was taken seriously. But did they actually think they’d be able to look down at virtually the whole continent from this thing? (Also, the illustrator had kind of a silly idea of where Spain should be located on a map.)

What a horrible idea. Last year I parked in a garage with a spiral ramp a little like this one but it went up only seven levels or so, and even that was a hell-ride, not a “pleasure tower.” In the picture that’s supposed to make this look like a great idea, the cars are about an inch from going over the edge! This was never built, of course—nowadays it probably would be—but was designed by Eugène Freyssinet for the 1937 World Fair in Paris, and this page was reprinted from Modern Mechanix magazine in the book Wasn’t the Future Wonderful?.

Care Giver Pt. 11 by YBlack & Dscurve

“Let’s play.” @dscurve @yblack2205

**Ashley**

     I jump when I hear the door upstairs slam. I scurry over to the window just in time to see Janay quickly walking to her car. “Damn…what the fuck happened?” I worry that maybe David did some stupid shit and I snatch up my keys, lock my door and storm upstairs. I start to bang loudly but then don’t want to alarm him so I have the upper hand. Instead I knock softly and just as he opens the door I become keenly aware of my hard nipples and exposed shoulders and thighs in my short, jersey, strapless dress. The metallic silver threads shimmer when the soft glow in his living room falls on me. He stands staring at me unsure what to do as his long dick hard, swings freely! My eyes are glued on his dick as my heart beats fast slow I shake my vision and look at him but I’m speechless. He’s deep brown eyes have the same effect on me as I stand there thinking to myself, ‘I know he’s seen me, I know he’s noticed me watching him, I know he heard me last night rubbing my clit calling his name.’ His lips part and I watch in slow motion as the words leave his mouth, “You live below me right?” His thunderous tone rumbles past my ear drums down into my soul as passion brews between my thighs I swallow down lust and air struggling to combat the electrical pull as he steps forward and pulls me inside.

    Our lips press hard together as his tongue slides across mine I melt within his grasp while he roughly rips my dress off my body. He’s brows are narrowed as he bites my neck lightly and slams me against the wall. I counter him just as rough biting his earlobe and kissing down chest. My lips graze his swollen head and surprisingly he grabs my arms bringing me back to up to his mouth. I’m confused I’ve never had a man deny me his dick! I gasp as he lifts me up off my feet and pulls hard on my g-string ripping it off my hips! “Shit!” I say remembering the price of those limited edition rhinestone panties! Seconds later he’s on top of me on a plush comforter, tearing open a magnum with his teeth. I bite my lip watching as his dick struggles to fit. “Fuck!” he says. He reaches back in a drawer and turns a box upside down, nothing falls out. I remember my box of condoms next to bed in my drawer, but I don’t want to fucking leave! What if he changes his mind? “Fuck!” I say dropping my head to the bed. He COULD just pull out. Dammit but him and Janay must have been doing something, and she’s been fucking Kelvin who’s been fucking Marissa who’s been every fucking where! Abruptly I jump up and he yells behind me, “Wait I’m sorry!” I slow down when my feet hit the hardwood floors in the living room so I don’t slide into the door and knock myself out! “Two seconds!” I yell and I dash out the door not even closing it as I skip by two down the stairs fumble with my keys and run into my bedroom; I grab the whole box of large magnums and quickly lock the door dashing back up the steps not even realizing I left my keys on the bed. I slam his front door close, lock it, run and jump onto his bed ripping the box open as fast as I can. He starts laughing. “You know you’re butt ass naked right?” I look at his gorgeous Morris Chestnut smile and open the condom with my teeth. His eyes light up with desire as he takes the condom from me and lies back against the pillows. “O now you want a blowjob?” He chuckles and gropes my ass as I slide my tongue across his smooth balls of chocolate, up his veiny shaft while it bobs against my face. Slowly I take one of his balls into my mouth and suck on it as if caramel were going to seep out. “Mmmmmm…..” he moans when I massage his asshole while sliding my tongue up to the head of his dick around the edge as he squeezes my ass tighter. I take his dick into my mouth and bob slowly pressing my tongue tight against his dick as it slides up and down his dick, my lips remained suctioned around his dick. “O FUCK!” he moans hitting his head against the headboard. I take long sucks on his dick as it fills up my mouth, his hand drops down to my inner thigh, squeezing it tight as I pick up speed and continue rubbing his asshole with my finger. He begins thrusting into my mouth faster and faster. “Shit! Shit!” I know he’s getting close and if he hasn’t noticed my pussy juices dripping down my thighs I’m extremely turned on! I can’t take it anymore and let his dick loose as I snatch the condom from his hand and quickly pull it down over his dick. Without hesitation I straddle him planting both my hands on his rock hard chest and begin bouncing my ass!

    His eyes grow wide and both of his hands grab my breasts tight as I bounce uncontrollably on his dick moaning, sinking my nails into his chest! “O Fuck! O Fuck!” he moans as I breathe hard I concentrate on his dick rolling my hips until his dick hits my spot. Leaning back on him I finally got the right angle and I moan loudly, “Ooooooooo…..” and close my eyes. I move my feet to either sides of his hips and lean back putting my hands on his knees, parting my legs wide giving him full view of his dick thrusting in and out of my pussy! “O MY FUCKING GOD!” he moans holding my ankles tight as I pump my pussy on his dick, she soaks him as I scream into the floorboards of the apartment upstairs! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” My body shakes as he continues thrusting inside me, I soon catch a second wave and smile as he yells out, “O FUCK!” bouncing hard on the spring mattress as he thrusts deep. Lazily I sit up on his dick as he lies on the bed. Gently I rise up off his dick and lie down next to him looking up at the roof. “Hit the light.” He says starling me. “I can stay?” He laughs, “What the fuck? I ripped that damn dress, and you don’t have your keys so I know you left ‘em! I’m not sending you out there naked or getting up to get you no clothes! I’ll pick your lock in the morning.” I slide off the bed smiling and hit the switch. He’s already maneuvered under the covers when I return and I slide in to join him. Before my head hits the pillow I feel the warmth of his body on my back. It’s a strange feeling since I’m used to sleeping alone. ‘Don’t get sprung Ashley…. Don’t get sprung!’

    Two hours later I moan so loud I wake myself up! I feel his breathe on my ear and I realize I’m not dreaming! His dick plunges deeper inside me as I grip the sheets tight, his fingers dig into my hips as his strokes my pussy hard and deep. “Damn you’re so fucking tight!” He moans and I respond in pleasure as he slides his hand in between my thighs gripping my right thigh tight as he lifts it up and thrusts faster. “David! David!” I yell and as if calling his name were an expresso shot, he pumps his hips faster and I scream louder as the headboard bangs against the wall! “O FUCK! O FUCK DAVID!” I don’t know how I didn’t rip a hole in those sheets I was squeezing them so tight burying my face in the pillow as I screamed, “AAAAAAAAAHHH!” He continues thrusting until I hear him echo my muffled scream, “AAAAAAAAAAHHH!” His dick throbs inside me as he lowers my leg and snuggles up next to me. Within seconds we’re sound asleep. Janay just missed out on some good dick!

**Kelvin**

It was the Saturday before I was to start at the new Hospital. I had no real plans but I did want to get up and head to the park and get a couple miles in. It had been forever since I went to the park. Hell that’s where this whole thing begun in the park. I pushed it to the back of my thoughts. I couldn’t help but replay the moment I bust my ass, when Janay and I first met. Funny how life brings people together. Apart of me was hoping I could see her in the park today. It had been a week since the elevator and I was still loathing about not having said more. She was a good woman and I had a weak moment. I should have known better.

I finished my run feeling a tad better, having aired some of my thoughts out. I decided to hit up this juice bar on the other side of town not too far from what was now the old place of employment. They had a really good mango pineapple fruit smoothie. For some reason I was craving it. The road was busier than normal for a Saturday.  The wait in traffic made the smoothie that much more delicious. I headed back towards the house. I was cruising 24th approaching Davis. The light had just turned yellow and I started slowing. The car behind me honked, whipped around me and sped through the light. A perfect storm was created as a car travel on Davis caught the green light in stride. The car coming up Davis smashed the asshole car that whipped from behind me dead center. The shit was surreal. It happened in slow motion, I watched as glass shattered and trickled down to the asphalt. I was frozen in dismay for a full 5 seconds before put my car in park and hopped out to render aid or assistance. I was the first witness to reach the cars. I was closest to the car that had been traveling up Davis, so naturally I peered into that one. The driver door was jammed shut, so I went for the backdoor. The driver was slumped over, unconscious so it appeared. I poked my head into the car. “Hey, hey you ok?” I called out. There was no response, only a faint moan. The smell of fuel permeated my nostrils. I knew this was no place to be I rushed to the passenger side of the car and was able to successful pry that door open. I reached in and began to slide the driver out of the car. As I laid the victim down on the pavement I noticed it was Marissa who I was rescuing. For a split second I was torn. The faint sound of my name brought me back to reality. Looking down at her I went into doctor mode. “Are you in any pain?”

“It’s… It’s hard to breathe.” It was a struggle for her to even get that out.

“It’s ok Marissa I got you.” The sirens distantly started to come about. I put my ear to her chest. She was wheezing heavily, trying to breathe. I was convinced she had a collapsed lung. I couldn’t tell which of the two were collapsed. I kept her calm and spoke to her until the medics arrived. All the animosity that once consumed me when it came to her. Misfortune had erased that for a moment’s time.  I saw her off and let the EMTs know what I had suspected her injury to be. I was familiar with the team and let them know she was one of our own in the medical field.  I was glad I had been in the right place at the right time. I stayed and gave a witness statement as to what transpired. This whole thing should have been avoided. As I pulled into the driveway a text from Sammy came in. He needed a few scripts and was checking up on me. I let him know we were all set and that I was A1. In all realness though I was in a surreal place, with all that took place. I was really regretting not talking to Janay.

I ran the scripts up to Sammy over at the store and chopped it up briefly. On my way back I rolled by Janay’s spot. I wanted to get this weight off my chest. I rang the bell a couple of times, but I didn’t get an answer though. I went home a little deflated and decided to make me a drink. I went through my contacts, I was feeling like some sensual company. I stopped at Janay’s name, I couldn’t move on. Putting the phone down, I grabbed the remote and went to ESPN. The game was a complete blow out. It was as if nothing was going to be able to take my thoughts off her. Her smoothness, her smile, cute laugh, soft lips, her attentiveness, supple breast, tight ass. I was missing my woman. I yearned for finger tips to dig into my chest. The way she used to sink her teeth into my neck when she rode me. I poured a double of this Honey Jack I was on and peered at my galaxy. I was wrestling with the idea of making the call. I picked it up and unlocked it. I was right back on her contact info. I hovered momentarily and said fuck it. The phone rang in my ear and I had the inclination that she wouldn’t even pick up.

“Hello.” There was a silence. “Hello.” Just the sound of her voice was a melodic master piece.

“Janay….”

“Kelvin.”

“I miss you woman.” Silence fell upon the phone. “I…”

“Kelvin I don’t if I can do this.”

“I’ve had a rough day Nay, put a ton of shit in prospective.”

“I heard what you did for Marissa this afternoon. I couldn’t help but think of how I was there for you when things got crazy. I wanted to call you when I heard. But I wouldn’t allow myself to.” The emotion in her tone was evident.

“But look, I called you and here we are. I want this, I want us, I want you. This is something special, I know it now. I refused to see it then. But I can no longer ignore this, ignore the greatness you possess. I just want to make good on you.”

“Kelvin… Come” she sighed. “Come open the door.”

puella-magi-homura-akemi: Darcy shows Thor and Loki Cards Against Humanity.

More Odinsons Are Banished! AU. And I take back what I said before, for this is surely the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written.



puella-magi-homura-akemi: Darcy shows Thor and Loki Cards Against Humanity. Jane’s stuck with explaining the references they don’t understand.

watermellow: Loki, while assisting with Jane’s ‘research’ *clears throat*, finds out about…porn. Jane is Not Pleased.




“This is a terrible idea, Darcy.”

“It’s efficient. And I’m just going to go through the white cards. How else are they going to learn?”

“Learn? As though mortals have conceived of anything in their short civilizations that Asgard has not already done a thousand times over.”

“Hey, you guys are the ones who spent two hours on YouPorn.”

“Yeah, thanks for that. Do you know how many viruses you picked up? I’m still defragging my hard drive.”

“It remains unclear to me how a piece of machinery can contract an illness.”

“Story for another time. Let’s get started.”

Keep reading

I remember when you first held me and called me your son, you said that I’d grow up to be many things, but I would never be you

I could never be you

I remember when you held my hands and walked me to the park, you said son, one day you’ll write about this day and tell the world about simple things, you’ll make the simple look complex and that’s why they’ll love you

but you couldn’t love me, could you

I remember when you saw me taking my first pill and said, this shit is killing you, what are you doing? Why are you harming yourself, my son? Why did you turn out like this? I’ve been here for you my whole life, where did I go wrong?

Hell, I wouldn’t know the difference between you and my shadows, always hidden away somewhere dark and close to nowhere, if I shined a tiny light, you’d disperse into nothingness, I guess you have a lot in common with shadows and demons

I remember when you met my first girlfriend, you said she looks like your mother, you sure know how to pick them, she’s beautiful

my mother is beautiful without your comment

I remember when you saw me smoke my first blunt, where have the time gone, how fast have I grown, my mistakes pacing with my breaths, I’m a dying species waiting for extinction, I’m the message you never got to send and I’m bending these trees to see the age, but between every page I find nothing

the only conversation we ever held was silence

I remember that we share no memories
I remember that none of this ever happened

I remember the bad because that’s all you left
I remember this fiction because the nonfiction was something I had to explain

That’s the beauty of being a writer

Is there really a difference between truth and lies?

If I coat a sentence with enough honey, darling, I’d rot your teeth before you get another chance to smile

If I lace a poem with enough poison,
do you think I’d die from reading it?

—  9:11 pm
Where Clint really was during Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  • Natasha: Clint, SHIELD fell! Fury almost died! Steve's boyfriend can fly! My ex-lover is back! Where the hell were you?
  • Clint: I was on my way to help and then I saw a dog.
  • Natasha: You saw a dog?
  • Clint: So I stopped to pet him.
  • Natasha: And it took you that long?
  • Clint: It was at a dog park.
  • Natasha: That still doesn't explain it.
  • Clint: I couldn't just pet one dog and ignore all the others, now could I?
  • Natasha: *sighs* How many did you end up adopting?
  • Clint: Four.