where the eff have you been

Vet School Difficulties and Accomplishments by the Year

1st year:

-Difficulties: 

How the eff do you study all these arteries and nerves and muscles??? How do I study for this? Should I join all 15 clubs or nah? Why am I studying harder than undergrad/college but getting worse grades???How can I remember all these people/classmates??  Why do I feel like I won’t be able to pass or be good enough? Depression. Not sure how to juggle exams, friends, family, studying, and mental health. Feeling like there is information overload X 4. Like you are constantly drowning. How do you not drown?  4 tests IN ONE WEEK? WHAT THE EFF.

-Accomplishments

I survived 4 exams in one week! I recognized an organ during histology today! I didn’t die during my anatomy practical! I remembered a classmate’s name today! I touched a live dog today! 

2nd year:

-Difficulties: How in the absolute WORLD is there MORE information this year?? Tell me how this is possible!?!? So many parasites, bacteria, viruses, and pathology to know. Vet school isn’t novel any more, and you are YEARSSSS away from clinics. 

-Accomplishments: Can now juggle watching Netflix, talking to your friends, and studying all at the same time. Know almost everyone in class- where they sit, and one or two quirky facts about them. Figured out that grades really aren’t everything.  

3rd year:

-Difficulties: Have never been more apathetic. 

-Accomplishments: Have never been more apathetic. 

4th year (clincs): 

-Difficulties: So you’ve been studying for 3 years and you know NOTHING. NOTHING! Where the eff is everything? How do I fill in this paperwork? How do I say this to a client? What is the dose for this medication? Why am I peed on every two seconds?? Why do I not know this? I don’t know how to answer this question by the owner what do I do?? So am I going to get comfortable on the last day of each rotation and then switch and feel like an idiot EVERY SINGLE TIME? Why does this feel so inefficient? OMG my attending vet just asked me a question… PANIC!!! Why does every rotation have so many different ways to do things? Why do I feel like I’m not good enough or I don’t belong here?? When will I have time to eat and sleep and be a human being???? Realizing you can’t save every life. 

-Accomplishments: Getting hugged by a client. Being told “you’re going to make a great vet.” Performing surgery. Being able to eat lunch. Somehow surviving every rotation even though you know zero things. Saving a life or two. Getting a day off and enjoying life. Getting a question right. Passing the national board exam (NAVLE). Becoming a doctor of veterinary medicine! 

So ngl, this might be a huge reach but

I STILL DON’T THINK THAT’S OUR SHIRO.

Now before any of you judge or make any comment claiming this is a reach and I should stop, hear me out. I’ve thought about this a lot, and send a lot of time on this to make you people understand why I feel this way. And I’m normally not very good at that, no thanks to my brain and adhd. I’ve even explained how I think Shiro disappeared and what really happened.

To begin with, we didn’t really get a proper insight into anyone’s character this season and there was very little character growth. I’m so salty about that, but the season wasn’t that bad, so imma just not mention that again. Now about the Clone Shiro theories. There were a lot of them, and some of them stated that Kuron may not even know that he’s a clone. And I feel that this is what’s happening with Kuron here. I’m sure that Kuron himself thinks he’s Shiro. 

But while memories make up an important part of your personality, it’s not everything. There’s a lot we learn from our own thoughts on certain things, the way we make observations which might be linked with our memories, but are not a part of our memories. That’s what’s going on with Kuron here. He has Shiro’s memories, he knows how Shiro behaves, he knows how he’s supposed to behave (since he believes he’s Shiro), but that’s the thing - he’s not Shiro.

With many memories, we tend to have feelings associated with them. Feelings are an abstract thing, so I’m not sure they were copied when Shiro’s memories were implanted in Kuron. But Kuron still knows how he’s supposed to be, because he’s living in Shiro’s life, in Shiro’s memories, with Shiro’s memories, so even if he doesn’t have feelings, thoughts or opinions associated with those memories, he still knows.

It’s kind of like with kids (and occasionally teens too). They tend to look up to certain people - parents, siblings, role models, classmates, celebrities, etc - and imitate them (knowingly or unknowingly). And they do it so well, when they don’t even have memories of this person, just the ones they’ve seen and the memories they were in. But Kuron here, has 25 years of Shiro’s experience and life and he might not even know he’s a clone. That’s actually really sad, because when all’s said and done, in the end he’s not Shiro. Even if they’ve “led” the same life. He cannot be Shiro.

This is gonna be kinda long, and I might be wrong but I wanted to put this out there.

Keep reading

Petty revenge by theatre

Some context. I’m bisexual and I’ve known that since my senior year of high school but the main thing that’s kept me from dating guys is my mother. She’s the type of person who says they’re ok with the lgbt community but lets her bigotry slip out every now and then. (I.e. Excuses older bigots because “they were raised in a different time” and questions my friend being trans as “a phase” when he comes up in conversation.) She’s also the only person in my house that I haven’t come out to for this reason.

Now for the pettiness.

My college theatre department (which I am a major in) is currently running Angels in America, a hella gay show about gay men in 1985 New York (Think RENT as a play except it deals less with corporate takeover and more with discovering sexuality and destructive Reaganite republicans). I thought it would be the biggest eff you to my mom if I was cast in it. There are literally no straight male roles in this show. It’s got a gay man in drag, a scene where two dudes have sex in Central Park… it is dripping in gay scenes and themes.

It would have been the best petty revenge to have my mom see her presumably straight son playing gay men in this very gay play… at least it would have been if I got cast. I couldn’t get the perfect revenge, so I got the next best thing and signed on to work the technical run crew for this show specifically at the beginning of the semester. So every night for two weeks I’m sitting up in a booth above the stage making sure this three hour long gay fantasia is lit up with the right cues. Not the best outcome but it comes close.

Oh. And my mom usually makes a point to see all the shows I’m involved in ever since I started performing when I was 7 but when I offered this one she’s suddenly “too busy”. Way to hide your bigotry mom.

youtube

ITS FINALLY HERE

Peter: Im here because im your son
Erik: I HAVE A SON
I HAVE A SON CHARLES DO YOU HAVE A SON?!?!?!? MYSTIQUE DO YOU HAVE A SON?!?!?!??!
Raven: *nervously glances at kurt* ummmmmmmm

youandthemountains  asked:

🔥NYC :p

unpopular opinion meme

look it’s a concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there’s nothing you can do, but it’s MY concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, y’know?

the things about NYC that annoys most people are things i fucking love btw: I love that people move so fast b/c I hate it when people dawdle, I love that no one gives a fuck about you or what you’re doing when you walk down the streets b/c my anxiety always makes me worry people are looking at me and i like knowing that even if they are it’s new york, i’m hardly the weirdest/most hideous person they’ve seen all day, i love that you aren’t expected to make small talk with people in customer service capacities b/c it’s always awk and when i was a cashier in suburban maryland i hated when people tried to chat w/ me because like dude that’s not what i’m here for. i also love no-nonsense wise asses and find them delightful for the most part.

for all that i bitch about nyc tbh it’s very in line with my own values: liberal, bourgeois, grumpy and self interested, but capable of real genuine empathy in the weirdest/most dire of times. 

Promises are meant to be broken

Summary: Fic based on this gifset by eliseboobman except Beca hasn’t really kept her promise

Note: I really don’t know what came over me to do this and I’m sorry in advance

It has been two years, maybe even more than that. Two years of grief and misery

Two whole years of missing one person, hoping that when you wake up you’ll have them in your arms hugging them as tight as you possibly could and never letting go

For two years hope is the only thing that’s making Chloe Beale alive.

Tired? Yes, maybe, some may even say no because how can you be tired if you live through hope every single fucking day.

But Chloe Beale thinks differently, loving someone can be tiring, of course it can, because being tired will make you realize that even though your body can’t fight the world anymore, it will, especially for someone you love. But loving someone who is gone and goes with the name Beca Mitchell? Now that’s a whole different story.

Beca Mitchell” the name rolled over Chloe’s tongue in a whisper

Rebeca C. Mitchell

November 5, 1996 – March 14 2013

“You will always be

   cherished and loved”

 

Beca Mitchell, where do I even start. She’s the girl who always carries around her big chunky headphones, the girl who has “ugly” ear monstrosities, the girl who has the i-don’t-give-a–shit-attitude, to everyone that’s Beca Mitchell

To Chloe she’s everything

Her soul

Her mind

Her heart

Every piece of her ache for Beca Mitchell, but what happens when Beca Mitchell is gone?

Nothing.

Nothing is what happens. Not the nothing that you’re thinking about. Nothing as in like seeing darkness except it’s in a body with fiery red hair and blue eyes that used to shine brighter than the whole world, that nothing.

Chloe wipes the tears that’d escaped from her eyes and tried to hold back a sob

Pulling out the white rose that’s currently in her purse as she feels her phone vibrating through her jeans

“Hello?”

“Chloe! Where the hell are you?! I’ve been here knocking on your door for almost half an hour now.”

“B-Bree I’m not home”

“No shit, now can you please stop messing around and tell me where the hell are you because we’re gonna miss our flight ”

“Im at the cemetery” Chloe sighed

“Cemetery? What the eff are you doing th- oh..”

“Yeah…”

“Chloe if you don’t want to do thi-“

“No. No. I have to… I a-am doing this its for the sake of everyone right?

“Chloe… Please remember that you do not need to do this for us” Aubrey said

“I know that.  I want to do his because this is what’s good for all of us” There was a slight edge on Chloe’s tone that Aubrey noticed but choose to ignore

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah, Alright. Be ready in 20 I’m coming to get ya.” Aubrey said

“Okay I’ll be here.. Oh and Bree?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.. f-for all of this” Chloe admitted sincerely

“No problem Chloe it’s what best friends for right?”

“Right.” Chloe let out a light chuckle before ending the call

‘This is it then’ She thought

Chloe raises the flower to her face giving it a light kiss on the petals before placing it on the cold cemented stone

Chloe released out a shaky breath before starting

“Beca.. Hi… I-I know its’s been two years since you l-left me. Two Years of tears and heartbreak. Two years of people telling to move on and just start over, I never listened though, cause they don’t understand, they never understand that I can never get over from someone like you… You’re Beca Mitchell… My Beca and you always will be.”

A sound of a car honk came from behind her signaling that Aubrey’s here.

“ I guess this is a goodbye then.” She sobs wiping the tears that had fallen

“G-Good Bye Beca Mitchell… Until we meet again.”

“Never?”

“Never.” She said it without a trace of hesitance in her voice

“Never ever ever?”

“I promise you, not in a billion light years will I leave you, Chlo”

“Mhm-mhm” Satisfied with the answer Chloe snuggled closer to the brunette

“I love you do you know that?” Chloe started, raising her head so she could face the smaller girl

“Nooooo… really?” Beca said sarcasm dripping at every word

“Wow… Way to ruin the mood Mitchell.” Chloe laughed lightly slapping the other girl’s arm

“Oh you know you love it Beale don’t even try to deny it” Beca smiled

Chloe started leaning in towards Beca before stopping making their lips inches from touching

“I won’t” Chloe whispered pulling back the piece of fallen hair from Beca’s face before pressing their lips together

“Good.” Beca sighed before continuing 

“Because I love you too Chloe Beale.”


Tell me what you think

Anyway
I went to Sephora today
Which always overwhelms me because I never know where to start and I often just walk out of there like “eff it I’m a just have jacked up eyebrows forever”. I find myself in front of one of those cosmetic mirrors where everything is magnified. And I literally stand there and start picking at myself.
“Ugh you need a hair cut. And you look so tired. When’s the last time you exfoliated? So you’re really committed to this…look?”
And then this lady comes up to me and starts talking about how much she loves my hair. That she’s been thinking of going natural and never really committed and said “but if I end up with a big beautiful head of hair like yours it’d be worth the risk”
And even as she said it I was thinking “who are you talking to?”
I appreciated that moment because I think about how much time we spend picking ourselves apart; fixating on every little thing we think is wrong with us. And literally at the same time we’re thinking that we’re a mess, someone is looking to us for inspiration and guidance.
Anyway we had a chat about hair products that I use and how I transitioned and I gave her some encouragement. I left Sephora with nothing because yeah, it still is an overwhelming store. But I definitely left with a different perspective. I felt like God was telling me to cut it out and extend myself to someone else, even when I was feeling bleh

Spoilers ahead

After seeing the spoilers about Damon saying he love Bonnie like Elena loved Bonnie, my first reaction was disappointment.

But I thought EFF this I’ll watch the episode for myself and form my own opinion. And I’m glad I did just that.

Man, that scene where Damon is pouring his heart out to Bonnie in the woods by the tree stump got me soooo emotional. Here we have Damon setting all his jokes aside and truthfully telling Bonnie what she means to him.

“I admire you” (I’ve watched you throughout these years and have seen what you are capable of. You have my respect).

“I believe in you” (With everything we’ve been through, being trapped together in a prison world. Me not believing we’d make it out, but you stayed optimistic and strong for the both of us).

“I love you…” (I have grown to care so much about you. You’ve become such an important part of my life and I want you in it always).

The way he cradled Bonnie in his arms after Matt sedated her will always have me in tears.

Even now writing this down the tears are streaming down my face. I’ve never felt more in touch with Bamon than I do now. I mean all the emotions shown during their scenes is what we as fans know them to have for/between each other. Gosh….Damon taking care of Bonnie at her bedside and telling Stefan on the phone to take it from the guy who supposedly got it all and currently sitting on bubkes while looking at Bonnie laying in his bed.

And I need to know what is written in Damon’s letter to Bonnie, but I have a feeling the contents were already told in those woods between them.

Call me delusional, but my Bamon heart won’t let me give up on this ship becoming romantically canon. I just can’t. Not after shipping these fuckers for 7 long years. And seeing their development (especially) over the last 2 years screaming in our faces that this couple has more than a platonic relationship.

Side note: OMFG @ Paul’s directing skills!!! You can’t tell me he’s not a Bamon Fanboy like Stefan lol. All the emotional Bamon scenes were off the charts. Thank you Paul.

2nd side note: “Your body is safe in Damon’s bedroom.” Hehe

3rd side note:  how fucking hot did Bonnie look in her cheerleader outfit?? Dang girl. She was just a regular (Bonnie) Buffy the vampire Slayer. And her hair….on point.

And actually for the first time in ages I was really feeling Steroline. In fact I found myself rooting for them to kiss and make up!! What is this world coming to? :)

bi-bi-birdking  asked:

Hey, Joe! As a human being, it's normal to feel inadequate sometimes, but lately, I feel like that a lot, and it really sucks so I just wanted to ask how you deal with such negative feelings (though you should never have them, Mr. Bereta, because you're amazing).

The most vicious battles I face in my life are those I wage with myself. I’m equipped with a big-ass sword I’ve dubbed “Self-Doubt” and a nasty set of nunchucks that I call the “Criticizers”, and I constantly cut myself down and beat myself into submission. Luckily, I’ve picked up some sweet party members on my life quest and they’ve been there to pick me up when I can’t defeat myself. But once and awhile, you do this life thing solo style, and that’s when you just have to say EFF IT and believe in yourself. These are the moments where you grow. Some people like to say - “Don’t be afraid to fail.” I say, “Don’t be afraid to forgive yourself  for your failures.” Allow yourself to chase risk! Take a chance on you, cause you’re awesome! In these moments you’ll discover more about yourself than you could ever imagine, in both success and failure. And if you do fail, forgive yourself. Gift YOU with an unlimited amount of second chances! Avoid the nasty beast known as The Wallow! Wallowing grants life the opportunity to pass you by. Don’t make life about what happened, make life happen. That’s living.

P.S. I bet you’re amazing. Roll with it.