Hey there! It’s me: theauspolchronicles AKA David AKA “hey you, half-man half-curly hair!” Did you know that as well as being on the tumblr where all the cool kids are I also go outside and do poetry sometimes where the other cool kids are? Well finally all that hard work in the poetry scene has paid off and I’m being recognised for my amazing skills as a spoken word poet by performing a 15 minute feature set at Spoken Word Perth at Paper Mountain in Northbridge. Are you a Perth person into poetry? Perhaps plonk on over to espy my performance please. Great pals Sebastian Howard will be the other feature poet and Chuckie Raven is going to MC and oh boy you ain’t never seen a more funny yet depressing trio of poets. We are so good at making you laugh and then talking about depression. EXPERIENCE TWO OR MORE EMOTIONS ON WEDNESDAY 10th of MAY! Door opens at 7 event starts at 7:30! $5 cash entry. I look forward to seeing a small handful of you there!
Percy: Nerd Dad. Lets his kid “help” in the workshop and then cleans up the mess after they leave. Makes all of his kids toys himself. Kids go through a phase where they are “too cool” for him, but quickly grow out of it. Normally quite fair, polite, and reasonable in his dealings, but no one messes with his kids lest they incur his paternal vengeance.
Keyleth: Overprotective Mom. Insists on holding her child’s hand as they cross the street until they are, like, 17. Tries way too hard to be available for them 24/7. Sometimes has trouble laying down the law, but is too sweet to take advantage of. Lets her child keep every stray animal that they find.
Tiberius: Soccer Dad. Way too proud of child’s accomplishments. Owns a “My little sorcerer is an honor student at Emon Elementary School” bumper sticker. Extremely strict but clueless enough that it balances out. “My child drinking alcohol? Poppycock!” Can sometimes be unreliable at times, but always ready to throw a few fireballs the instant his child needs help.
Scanlan: Dad Joke Dad. The kind of dad that accidentally embarrasses his child. The kind of dad that embarrasses his child on purpose. The kind of dad who sings songs loudly in public and sings louder when his child complains. Gives awful dating advice that somehow ends up helping anyway. Most likely of all of Vox Machina to actually be a dad.
Grog: Friend Dad. Braids flowers into his daughter’s hair, then teaches her how to wield an axe. Has wrestling matches with his children and lets them win. Not skilled at teaching manners or helping with academics, but knows his weaknesses and will send them for a lecture from Uncle Tiberius if they are bad. Sends them to Pike if they need help with “emotions”. Teaches them about colors, shapes, and shiny things himself.
Pike: Maternal Good. Made of pure mom energy. Makes lunch boxes every morning with little notes that say things like “Have a great day!” and “I love you!” Spoils her children, but doesn’t let them walk all over her. Bakes brownies for the PTA bake sale. Heals boo-boos with the light of Sarenrae. Teaches her children to destroy their enemies with kindness.
Vex: Cool Mom. Lets her kids get away with a lot. Occasionally aids them in their rule breaking.
Very lax in her rules except when it come to money. Teaches her kids to shoot and hunt and stealth. Encourages her awesome stealth kids to pull elaborate pranks on their Uncle Vax. All of her children’s friends have awkward crushes on her.
Vax: True Dad. You will not find a more dadly dad. The dadliest. The omega dad. Vax’ildad. Fun, but not afraid to lay down the law to keep his children on the right path. Encourages his awesome stealth kids to pull elaborate pranks on their Aunt Vex. Would have given his children daggers at age 7 if Vex and Keyleth didn’t stop him.
Trinket: Bear Dad. Is best dad. Very overprotective of his own children as well as Vex’s. Tries to mimic Mama Vex’s parenting. Teaches cubs to roly poly and give massages.
Well, college started at full
swing. It’s like I went from zero to sixty in one day. Tons of school
work, so much reading, and it feels like every two days I need to turn
in a paper. In fact, I’m writing you when I should be writing a Richard
III paper. But fuck that, right? What does Richard know about trying to
balance school with a crazy household full of crazy women (and I’m not
even including myself this time!), and hiding secrets from a ton of new
people, and also going to parties, and let’s not forget, sleeping from
time to time…
I don’t know how Chloe does it. She seems to cram
twice the activities I can into 24 hours. Like, I’m barely awake, and
she’s already been on a run, or gone to Rounders training. She’s an
excellent student by day, and still has time to date and go to the pub
with us at night. She never turns in a paper late, and she never misses a
party. Yes, our Chloe is a dancing-drinking-flirting party queen. How?
Hoooowwww, Fatty? I’m getting winded just writing about it.
And Mum is all… oh, isn’t Chloe just fantastic? And I get the snide one liners, and then I’m expected to baby-sit Kitty at nights, since I’m not dating, am I?
A/N got this prompt last night and felt the need to write it an push it up until today. I hope everything is only, love. So here’s some cuteness. I hope I did okay. Interestingly enough, I have friends (FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL) who are at these two schools… that’s how I knew about them. Rock on.