where people might actually respond to questions you don't expect to be answered

z-hard  asked:

Hello! I actually don't have anything specific that I want because I basically pretty content with anything you write! But maybe anything about my precious son Takao? Either Midorima's evil twin/7284's PoV of what made him interested in him (thought I presume it would be little disturbing) OR the more light-hearted one like Kageyama's PoV of his newly friendship with Takao. But ultimately, anything with Takao would be fine ^o^ Thank you so much!

When Takao Kazunari pulls him into a game of “volley-basketball,” Kageyama doesn’t really think too much about it. He’s still reeling a little by what happened at the Special Diet, and he’s not entirely sure how he should be acting around the Aoba Johsai team. He knows he owes Oikawa big for this one, and there’s certainly some…mixed feelings there… but he’s not entirely sure how he should act around Kindaichi and Kunimi, who also came to show their support.

He really, really doesn’t want to feel like he owes them anything.

“Heads up!” Takao shouts, tossing the ball at Kageyama, who immediately sets it on instinct.

Takao laughs, “Oh man, did you do that as a reflex? You were totally zoning out a minute ago!”

“Were you trying to hit me in the head?” Kageyama asks suspiciously.

“Of course not,” Takao says, whistling innocently.


“So what’s with you and turnip head?” Takao asks after their current round comes to an end. “You keep glaring at each other.”

Kageyama shrugs, not wanting to get into it with someone he just met. “We went to middle school together.” He scowls. “Middle school kind of sucked.”

“Oh man, tell me about it,” Takao says. “Middle school is the worst.” He doesn’t ask anymore questions, and Kageyama appreciates that.


They exchange numbers by the end of the day at Takao’s insistence, and Kageyama isn’t expecting to ever talk to this guy again. Takao laughs a lot, and Kageyama has never known what to do with good natured people. But somehow it doesn’t surprise him as much as it otherwise might have when Takao does end up texting him, and emailing him, and suddenly he has a penpal in Tokyo and life is very strange.


“Green’s boyfriend?” Hinata asks, once he notices Kageyama texting. Kageyama just stares at him blankly. “Midorima,” Hinata clarifies.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess.”

Hinata scrunches his nose up in thought. He’s clearly confused, instead of jealous (like someone else might be, when finding out their boyfriend had prolonged email exchanges with some other guy). “What do you guys even talk about?”

Kageyama just shrugs. “Our games, mostly.” The only thing they really have in common is the fact that they’re both dating Miracles. But even that experience is so vastly different it’s not like they could even compare. Kageyama’s not even sure how they talk so often, but they do.

“Weird,” Hinata says, and then shrugs the whole issue aside.

It is weird, Kageyama agrees silently.


When Midorima and a few of the other Miracles visit Hinata, Kageyama tries to leave them alone. He figures, some things can really only be shared between them—the ones who were in Teiko together, and it’s really best to let have their privacy.

Takao must agree, because he drags Kageyama away and demands they go sightseeing. Which is all well and good, up until they run into Kindaichi and Kunimi, who are out shopping. The three Kitagawa Daiichi alumni all stare awkwardly at each other, and if Kageyama was by himself, he’d probably pretend he didn’t see the other guys and the other guys would have probably gone along with it.

“Takao Kazunari,” Takao introduces himself. He’s wearing his Shutoku uniform, so it’s obvious he doesn’t go to Karasuno, which explains Kunimi’s question, “How do you know Kageyama?

“We dated in middle school,” Takao says brightly, before Kageyama can respond.

“You—you did not!” Kindiachi says hotly. “You didn’t go to Kitagawa Daiichi!”

“Nope, it was a long distance thing,” Takao says.

“Kageyama was not dating anyone then,” Kunimi says.

“You didn’t tell them about your adorable boyfriend?” Takao says good-naturedly outraged, “He was so shy back then! And such an adorable stud, I really should have locked this one in when I could.” Takao then launches into such a convincing narrative about their long-distance middle school romance Kageyama almost forgets for a second that it never happened.


“What was the point of that?” Kageyama asks. Kunimi and Kindaichi had walked away scowling, and that was pretty satisfying, but he’s not sure why Takao did it.

Takao shrugs. “I told you I had a rough time during middle school. There was a time when it was easy to pretend I had a long-distance boyfriend, just so people—well, just so some people knew I’d moved on and they couldn’t get to me, I guess. I just thought maybe you’d benefit from having an imaginary ex-boyfriend too.”

Kageyama thinks about this, and it occurs to him that having an imaginary boyfriend might have actually been a good coping mechanism back then, had it occurred to him at the time. “Thanks,” he says, a little awkwardly.

“Anytime. Ooh! I’m totally going to tell Shin-chan and Hinata we used to date, that would be amazing!”

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Hinata would never believe you.”

A/N: Thanks friend!! I’m so glad you submitted a prompt =D I wanted to write something lighthearted so I chose your second prompt (since anon-friend also wanted to see this story, it helped tip things in favor of this one, so thanks anon-friend!!) and yet somehow it ended up slightly angsty anyway. I once came up with an idea for a story I didn’t end up writing (and most likely never will) where Kageyama and Takao had faked-dated each other in middle school, so this was a slight homage to that story I never wrote. Thank you both!!! =D

thegoliathbeetle  asked:

Oooh do that one! The SuFin date prompt. Sweden has a stutter and it gets worse when he's nervous. You know what I mean, you reblogged the post...xD But you love SuFin and I don't read enough of it. I bet you'll do a really good job!! TY TY <3

ASqdmfmek, this was fun. Oh and before I forget @sufin5ever thank you for the prompt!

A quick note before we get started: Berwald’s stutter is kind of mixed. So he repeats initial sounds a lot, primarily hard consonant sounds like “kuh” and “guh” and sometimes he gets “caught” on the s sound. He also has a tendency to get stuck in the middle of a sentence and use a lot of interjections like um, uh, etc.

Also auditory processing disorder is kind of a weird thing. Like medical professionals don’t agree on whether it is an actual thing or not and as such there’s very little research on it. It’s been relegated to the territory of sensory processing disorder, where it does not appear in the DSM V and it gets sort of ignored. Basically it just means that while your hearing is fine, your brain gets a little confused by all the sensory input you’re constantly taking in, especially if you’re nervous, and it can’t “process” what you’ve heard. For me, I know I’ve heard people say something and I can make a guess as to whether it’s a question or a comment but I may have to ask people to repeat themselves several times and it’s quite embarrassing.

Anyhow, please enjoy!

When Berwald Oxenstierna had imagined his own death, he’d always imagined it being in some sterile hospital room with a few loved ones holding his hand to gently guide him into the great beyond. He had never once anticipated that it might come in a more natural setting, such as an Italian restaurant.

But as he rolled and unrolled his shirt sleeves for the third time, it occurred to him that he desired nothing more than the sweet release of death and that pasta di fuoco he’d just ordered that sounded really delicious.

He’d done it. He’d finally asked Timo on a date. The guy he’d been steadily and painfully crushing on since sophomore year of high school. And Timo had said yes. It was a rare stroke of courage Berwald doubted would ever be repeated in his lifetime.

But there was only one problem. In all his bravado, Berwald had forgotten how much, ahem, “trouble” he had communicating with people.

His eyes darted up to make sure Timo wasn’t looking directly at him- oh god, he was. Timo caught his eye and gave him a nice, sort of reassuring smile.

“So, have you decided what you’re going to major in? I think they’re expecting us to declare in the fall.”

Timo blinked patiently at him, chin resting on an open palm, waiting for his reply.

Okay, Berwald, this is an easy question you already know the answer to. Just say the words.

“SSSSS-Software engineering. With a minor in um, um, uh…” Shit, he had that tight feeling in his neck and throat again. His muscles were basically seizing up and refusing to work properly. And he was so close too! That damn S sound always tripped him up.

Berwald couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d begun to stutter, maybe fourth or fifth grade, but ever since, it had always been with him, like some unholy algorithm, endlessly generating what-if’s and Bad Endings. Everything he did involved careful, even obsessive, planning and accounting for.

Sometimes he got it right, rehearsed enough to choke the words out and move on. But, more often than not, he panicked. Fight or flight kicked in and his primitive lizard brain decided that coherent speech was far less important than running from an imaginary hungry tiger. Thus, he was reduced to a stammering, stuttering, scared little boy in the body of a hulking man with slumped shoulders and a stern expression.

Berwald’s gaze had been shamefully averted down to the tablecloth. But when he risked a peek up, Timo looked a little concerned but not annoyed or frustrated.

“What did you say you want to minor in?”

Berwald’s panicked mind reminded him of his speech therapist telling him to take a deep breath before speaking to calm down and then another to actually get the words out. Flat speech, not bumpy speech.

“Cyber security,” he said in a measured, slow tone.

Timo took a sip of his water and nodded enthusiastically.

“Wow, computers, huh? That’s a great field to get into! You’ll do really well in it too, you’re so smart.”

Rather than go through the whole ordeal again, Berwald opted to just give a bashful shake of his head.

As if sent by divine intervention, the waiter came by with their food. Timo and the waiter were both that friendly, expressive type of person and chatted about how delicious the food looked and what wines paired well with which dishes and so forth.

Berwald only gave the waiter a small nod of gratitude when his own food was placed in front of him. The sudden fear that Timo might think him rude did not help matters.

Timo looked across the table at Berwald’s plate and grinned.

“Yours looks so good! Mm, you might need to eat quickly if you don’t want me to steal it all.”

Berwald took a long sip of water to avoid having to speak immediately. He never knew what to say when people made jokes like that. It wasn’t that he didn’t have a sense of humor, but how exactly did you respond to something like that?

Perhaps his dismay at his lack of social skills had registered on Berwald’s face, because Timo chuckled after a pause.

“Just kidding, I wouldn’t steal your food. At least not on the first date.”

The first date? Did that imply that he was already thinking about more dates? Truthfully, Berwald had been so preoccupied with having a date with the man of his dreams at all and trying not to screw it up, he’d never even considered the possibility that Timo might want to see him again.

Though he wanted desperately to let Timo know how much he admired him and that he wanted to go on many, many more dates together, Berwald couldn’t speak. If by some miracle his speech came out clear on the first try, there was always the looming chance that he would use the wrong words and offend Timo or creep him out.

Berwald just adjusted his glasses and began eating. The pasta was as delicious as he’d hoped but he couldn’t seem to enjoy it much. His tongue tasted sour and his throat was parched.

Timo didn’t try for any more conversation and Berwald couldn’t help but be relieved. He hadn’t eaten since lunchtime and, so he rationalized, maybe getting some good food into his system would help him calm down and think more clearly.

After some time of shoveling forkfuls of pasta into his mouth and praying to whatever gods might be listening that he would suddenly gain the social skills of a normal human being, Berwald heard…something.

He shifted his head up and saw Timo looking at him expectantly. Berwald knew what he’d heard was Timo’s voice and he could deduce that Timo had probably asked him a question. But it had happened so fast and Berwald had been too focused on his thoughts to understand. Reluctantly, he began the too-familiar process.

“Beg your pardon?”

“I said, do you…?”

His ears were straining, he was looking directly at Timo’s face trying to figure out what he was saying to him. It didn’t help matters that the restaurant had gotten loud all of a sudden and Berwald was so, so nervous.

He couldn’t ask Timo to repeat himself. He knew how it was. People got irritated with you, you looked like a complete fool, having to ask a million times, not because you couldn’t hear but because your brain was working to slow to process what was happening.

He remembered the weird looks he’d received over the years, Is something wrong with this guy? The burning shame of being laughed at by his classmates when he’d asked them to repeat what they said several times. “He’s too stupid to know when we’re making fun of him!”

Frantically, Berwald tried to guess at what Timo may have been asking for. The salt, maybe? It was the only thing on the table. With a shaking hand, he offered it to Timo.

“Oh, no, no, I meant , did you want to try some of mine?” He scooped a bite onto his fork and held it out.

But when Berwald reached for the fork, Timo moved his hand quicker and fed it to him, left hand cupped under Berwald’s chin to prevent any spills.

Berwald didn’t dare to breathe. Timo’s hands were right near his face, near his mouth. To another person, it might have just be a nice gesture. To Berwald, for whom the phrase touch-starved was an understatement, it was incredibly intimate.

Timo raised an eyebrow and looked him dead in the eye. “How is it?”

“GGGG-” He had just had to pick a word with that hard consonant, didn’t he? Berwald could’ve kicked himself, he couldn’t go a full minute without making a fool of himself!

He swallowed hard and tried again. “It’s good.”

“I thought so too! The sauce is fantastic. Really rich and creamy.” Timo glanced to the side for a moment, and then held Berwald’s gaze again.

“Um, is everything okay? Are you, you’re not having fun?”

Air raid sirens went off in Berwald’s head. Okay, he wouldn’t exactly say he was having fun, but that was just because he was nervous about this going well. He liked spending time with Timo, liked listening to Timo talk. But he couldn’t say all that.

So he just said in a low voice, “Sorry. M’ just really nervous.”

Timo rubbed the back of his neck. “I- I’m nervous too. I know I’m really weird, pretty much everyone says so, and so I was trying to act more normal tonight but I think I went too far and ended up being boring instead.”

“You’re not boring.” Berwald felt a little shocked. He’d assumed this date was just business as usual for Timo. Timo had always seemed so confident and enthusiastic in class. He’d never imagined that Timo might feel self conscious.

Berwald licked his lips and continued. “In ccclass,” that palative C sound almost tripped him up but he was too determined to say what he meant, “you always have something really smart or interesting to say. Everybody likes you, even if they don’t know you well. I really like you. That’s why I’ve been so nervous. I know how bad my stutter is and my speech therapist says I have an auditory processing disorder, whatever that means, and I just- I don’t want to look bad in front of you.”

That was quite a speech for Berwald. He had to take several deep breaths afterwards to prevent himself from passing out and really ruining the night.

He fully expected Timo to look relieved, happy that Berwald was self-aware enough to realize his stutter was annoying and just get up and leave.

But then Timo did something strange. He reached across the table and took Berwald’s hand.

“I can understand you just fine, even if you do stutter. And I don’t really know what an auditory processing disorder is but it doesn’t bother me. Actually, um, I’ve had a little bit of a crush for a few years now and I’ve been working up the courage to ask you out. But you beat me to it! You’re stronger than you think.”

Timo looked down at their hands and a strawberry blush was dusting his cheeks. “And I hope this isn’t our last date.”

Berwald smiled and shook his head. “Not at all.”

That bashful look almost seemed like it had been imagined by Berwald, as quickly as it was replaced by a mischievous wry grin.

“I also hope you kiss on the first date because the backseat of my car is very comfortable, if I do say so myself.”

As luck would have it, that excitable, auburn-haired waiter was coming by their table at just the right time. He rubbed Timo’s hand with his thumb as he said, clear as bell, “Check please.”

Preference #51 You're Both Famous


You were a model. It was something you’d always enjoyed doing but you never thought it would lead you to meeting the love of your life. You had been invited to a red carpet event for the American Music Awards where you were going to be a presenter. You arrived with a few friends who you decided to bring along and began making your way down the carpet. The three of you posed for pictures and stopped for a few interviews here and there to ask who made your dress or where you bought your shoes. You were approaching closer to the entrance of the convention center when you heard a wave of screams come over the carpet. It took you by surprise and you turned around noticing the 1D boys were slowly making their way up the carpet. You got pulled in for one last interview and just as you were going to turn and walk away to head in, you got bumped by someone. “I’m so sorry!!” you turned to see who it was with such a thick accent and it was none other than Niall Horan. You had seen pictures and what not but you had never formally met one another. He was quite cute you had to admit, his ocean blue eyes could have you lost for days. “Oh it’s alright.” you smiled and he extended a hand “Niall, Niall Horan.” you again smiled at the boys words and extended your hand in return, “Y/N, nice to meet you. I’m sorry to cut this short but I actually have to get inside, I’m one of the presenters!” “Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, maybe I’ll see you again soon.” with that you nodded and gave him one last smile before heading inside. The show had been great so far, there really hadn’t been a dull moment. You were now backstage getting ready to present your category; best vocal group. You hated to admit it but you really had no idea who the nominees were, all you were given was an envelope with the winners names’. You made your way onto the stage and the typical video clip played, showing all the nominees and what not; but you weren’t really paying attention, you just wanted to announce the winner. You pulled open the envelope and paused for a moment before reading the name; “ONE DIRECTION!”, music began playing and claps and screams erupted in the room. One by one they made their way up to the stage and that’s when you saw the blonde boy you had just run into a few hours prior. They gave their speech and soon after you guys headed backstage. “When I said I’d see you soon, I didn’t think it meant this soon!” the two of you laughed and you congratulated him and the others on the win before he took you aside; “I forgot to tell you earlier but you look amazing. Maybe we can get some drinks after and talk some more so I can properly get to know you..” you smiled and nodded “Yeah, I would really like that.”, you were just about to head your separate ways when you turned back around “Here. It’s my number. Text me later so we can meet up!”, the two of you exchanged a small hug and a smile before heading back to your seats to watch the rest of the show. You couldn’t wait for tonight, you already felt a connection for Niall and you hoped he felt the same way. 


You were an actress and were also starting to make your way into the music world, releasing a few songs here and there. You lived on the Upper East Side in Manhattan and kept mostly to yourself. You were going out for some breakfast at one of your favorite cafes and you thought that it would be just like any other day but that quickly changed. 

You decided to walk there since it was a beautiful morning and you wanted the exercise. You were about 1 to 2 blocks away when you heard the loud shrieks and screams; this was usual living in New York, as their was always celebrities being spotted around town by flocks of screaming girls. You continued walking and the screaming continued to follow; you were a bit annoyed as it was a little obnoxious but you decided to ignore it. You finally reached the cafe and let out a breathe of relief when the screaming could no longer be heard. You ordered your coffee and croissant and sat down at a table near the window. A few people came up to you as you ate asking for some autographs, usually teenagers who had seen your show. You were happy to take a few pictures and what not with them because they were the ones who gave you all the support. You had finally gotten a few moments to yourself and all of a sudden you took notice to the mass of people outside the once quiet cafe. It was the screaming fans. You weren’t sure if you were just imagining this or what but they just didn’t seem to go away. The door opened and a few buff men walked in approaching the counter, you couldn’t quite hear what the conversation was, but it was brief. Following the two buff older men were a group of 5 younger boys, probably around your age, maybe a bit younger. You knew you had recognized them from somewhere but you just couldn’t put your finger on it. They were all quite shaken up about the ambush, as it was apparent by the looks on their faces. One took notice of you sipping your coffee in the corner and began to approach you. That’s when it hit you, they were the One Direction boys! “Hi, may I sit?” you smiled politely and nodded “Yeah go ahead!” “I know there’s some empty tables but I noticed you were here alone and it’s not much fun to eat breakfast alone..” you laughed at the remark “I’m Y/N by the way” you extended your hand out to him and he took it, giving you a friendly shake. “I’m Liam. Hey, I recognize you…from TV, right?” you smiled “Guilty!“ “Well I guess you can relate to mob crowds too then..I’m in a band so it can get pretty crazy at times.” he turned and gestured to all the boys behind him. “Yeah, One Direction, isn’t it?” “Hey,  you know who I am?” “Of course! It might sound surprising but I listen to your guys’ songs sometimes” he laughed at the comment. “You know, It’s not often that I get forced into a cafe and get to meet a famous TV star..” once again the two of you laughed. You both really hit it off and you stayed at the same table for another few hours just talking before the boys were whisked away by security. Liam made sure to leave you his number so you two could meet up again and talk some more while he was still in New York. This might’ve been the best breakfast you’d had in a long time. You didn’t know where things were going from here but you hoped it would lead to something good.


You were a model as well as many other things. You had been on TV, written fashion books, and had even made your own clothing/accessories brand. You didn’t want to be called an “over-achiever”, you just wanted to try a bit of everything. A lot of the time you would get calls to do talk shows or Hollywood news fill-ins and you really enjoyed getting to work with the different people that you came across. Many saw you as just a fashion guru but that alone was an understatement. 

You got a call to fill in for Mario Lopez on Extra for a couple nights because he wouldn’t be able to make it. You of course accepted the offer but you had no idea what to expect, you were just told to show up and that you would receive further instruction about the show when you arrived. You got there early for hair and makeup when one of the producers came over and greeted you, they thanked you for coming in on a short notice but you didn’t mind at all. They took you aside to go over tonights schedule of events and just as he went to open his mouth to relay all the information; you could hear screams coming from outside. Not just a small scream, a massive wave of screams. “And there they are now I believe…the One Direction boys! You will be doing an interview with them; we do have some questions ready but feel free to ask any additional ones you have! You are also going to be doing a small piece on fashion do’s and don'ts, then to end it out we’ll have you join with Charissa Thompson for our last story!” you could tell he was a bit frazzled and you assured him that the show would be fine and you knew exactly what to do. He quickly ran off to check on the sound equipment and cameras to make sure everything was set for tonight’s show, leaving you in your dressing room to get ready. You still couldn’t believe you were going to be meeting the One Direction boys, you weren’t a crazed fan but they did have good music and they were pretty cute. 

You had a brief interaction with some of the boys’ security guards who were very friendly before the show was going to begin and they told you how much the boys were looking forward to the interview. You were glad they were excited but you were wondering if they knew you were the one giving the interview instead of Mario. Directors of the show gave Charissa the countdown and she began to open the show talking about a few current events before she tossed it over to you. “Hi everyone, now tonight we have some very special guests with us. Welcome boys!” the camera panned out to the six of you and the boys all gave you a smile and greeted you. “Now I know I’m not Mario, so I’m sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting him!” you all laughed “That’s alright” you heard Louis say quietly, but you didn’t respond to it because you didn’t know if he meant to actually say it out loud. You began reading off the questions allowing the boys to answer and everyone was having a great laugh. It was actually a lot of fun hanging out with them. 

After the show ended you were backstage with one of the stylists talking when Louis came over to you. “Hey!” “Hey, thanks for the interview. It was one of the better ones we’ve had..” you blushed at Louis’ words. “Thank you! It was so nice to finally meet all of you, you’re all so sweet.” he smiled and looked down before talking again. “Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out with us later tonight, we might grab some dinner and just hang out. I’d love to get to know you better. I’ve heard so much about you.” you could tell he was a bit nervous, his voice was a little shaky. “Yeah, that sounds great! I’ll just be a minute, let me grab my things!”, you gathered your things from your dressing room and you both walked back to the boys’ room before you all headed out. You were excited to see what tonight would bring, and hopefully you could get to know Louis a little more. You could already feel yourself falling for him, you just hoped he felt the same way.


You were one of those childhood TV stars who turned into a music icon through the years. You did many performances at awards shows and had been on a few world tours. You had performed at the MTV music awards just a few hours prior and now you were at the celebrity after party. It was an amazing atmosphere with everyone singing and dancing. You were dancing with one of your friends when you got bumped from behind. You didn’t think anything of it but you heard the apology over the loud music. “It’s fine!” you yelled back, so the man could hear you. You didn’t get a good look at him but he then looked up at you, “Hi, I’m Harry.” you smiled “Y/N” “Amazing performance tonight by the way. You looked great and sounded wonderful” you blushed at the One Direction star’s kind words. Of course you knew who he was, how could you not. For one, you were both in the music industry, everyone kind of knows everyone and second, they’re like the biggest band in the world! “Would you like to get a drink?” you nodded and followed him over to the bar. “Thank you” you smiled when he handed you the drink. “I hate to admit it, but I’m a huge fan of your music. I’ve always wanted to meet you in person, I’ve just never gotten the chance..” “That’s so sweet, thank you! You’re singing isn’t too bad either.” he laughed at the comment even though it was a bit cheesy. The two of you stayed at the bar for awhile talking and getting to know each other more. Before you knew it, it was already 2:30am and the party was still going on. “This has been amazing but I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. It was so nice to meet you thank you for everything.” you really didn’t want to go, he was so cute and sweet but you were seconds from falling asleep, you were exhausted from the days previous events. “Wait, before you go…here’s my number. I’ll be here in LA for a few weeks so maybe we can meet up again. I had a really nice time with you tonight.” you didn’t want him to stop talking, you could listen to him all day, his accent was to die for. “Definitely.” you smiled and gave him a hug and a small kiss on the cheek. He walked you out to your ride before watching you drive away. You weren’t expecting this at all but you were totally falling for the British pop star and there was no way of denying it. You wondered if he felt the same..


You were on TV a lot. You had a reality TV show that was quite popular. Along with being on TV you were often invited to various parities and red carpet events. Tonight you were attending a party for Justin Biebers birthday, you two were good friends with one another so of course you were going to attend. You knew a lot of people were going to be there as well but you didn’t know who exactly. 

You arrived in a limo with a few friends and made your way up to the LA flat. The place was packed and filled with music, laughs, and dancing. You quickly joined in on the party as you danced with friends and sang to the songs coming from the stereo. You didn’t really take notice of who was around you until you bumped into someone. “Sorry about that” you heard a british voice say quietly from behind you, you turned to face him and noticed that it was Zayn from One Direction. “Oh it’s fine, it was my fault” you let out a small laugh and he smiled “Zayn” he extended his hand out to you in the cramped space. “Y/N” “You’re on TV right?” you laughed “Yeah, and you’re in a band right?” you could tell he was a bit nervous but he laughed at your comment. “Do you want to go outside, get out of this crowd?” he nodded and led the way outside. “It’s nice to put a person to the music…I’ve always wanted to meet you guys” you didn’t want to admit that to him but it sort of just came out. “Well here’s your chance!” there was a hint of flintiness in his voice so you played along. The rest of the night the two of you kind of kept to yourselves, staying away from the raging party inside to get to know each other a bit more. By the end of the night you felt like you had known Zayn for years. The more you looked at him the better looking he became. You know you’d only met but you already had feelings for him; there was a piece of you inside that felt like he had them for you too. He made sure to get your number so you two could get together while they were still in town. You couldn’t wait until you could see him again.

anonymous asked:

I think seeing as John violently denies being gay, we can assume he's not or doesn't want to come out. Now he says he loves mary and sherlock the most in the world; so, hes in love with mary, and loves sherlock. One is romantic (mary) the other is brotherly/platonic (sherlock)

Good one. This ask refers to this post I made yesterday. I will edit it later with the replies to questions (though this is the only one I got so far). 

Now to the answer: 

Yes, John denies being gay vehemently. That in itself can have several reasons. 

  • he is not attracted to men at all, including Sherlock. 
    There is a ton of subtext that refutes this. John may say this, yet his body language betrays him on so many occasions. It is easiest to observe during the drunken knee-grope scene where his entire body language is inviting (both he and Sherlock are leaning in toward the other, John sits with his legs spread, that goofy, flirty grin on his features etc.) 
    This is a very big subject in itself that could be filled with pages worth of examples, but let’s keep it at that.
  • He isn’t gay, but he might be bi (-curious/flexible). 
    John never says “I’m straight”, he always just denies being gay which easily leaves that option. Whether he has actually acted on his bisexual tendencies before remains a question. However, seeing how his and Sholto’s relationship was portrayed (and how Mary but more specifically Sherlock read it, i.e. with jealousy) there very well might be something there. Further evidence is the “my husband is three people” line that many people have read as referring to Mary, Sherlock and Sholto. Admittedly, this doesn’t need to be the case but it’s a possible reading. 
  • John is so vehement in his denial because his attraction to Sherlock confuses him. 
    In ASiB he has the same conversation with Irene. Again, he says he’s not gay, to which Irene responds “But I am. Look at us both [being in love with Sherlock].” He doesn’t deny it there. He doesn’t tell her she’s interpreting things wrong, doesn’t correct her again. In fact, there is a moment of realisation in which he accepts her explanation. He’s not gay. He’s never felt attracted to men before. He loves women. And yet… Look at him and how he’s completely smitten, how everything in his life revolves around Sherlock. It shouldn’t make sense, but it simply is the way it is. 
    Yet, upon realising this, Jon decides not to act on it. Two possible reasons for this: a) he thinks Sherlock wouldn’t be interested. The first time ever he’s seen Sherlock display a sort of interest in someone is with Irene. So John assumes that, IF Sherlock were to pursue anything romantic or sexual with anyone, it would be Irene. b) He can’t come to terms with it yet. There are too many uncertain factors: Is Sherlock even into that sort of thing? Would he be into that sort of thing? Would it destroy the friendship? And what about women and him loving them, having sex with them? He’s nearly forty and suddenly his world gets turned upside down. All just because of that one man who is brilliant and enthralling but also a bit dangerous and unreliable. And not interested anyway. And John’s just confused and mixing up friendship with more and should better get a grip on himself and forget the whole thing.
    ‘Yeah, no, I’m not gay. Thank you very much. Now stop assuming it all the time because it confuses the hell out of me, and I don’t want to be confused because there’s no point.’

Now on to the second part of your question (the first half).

Most of us probably squeed like crazy when John actually. told. Sherlock. he. LOVES. him. We never really expected something like this to happen, not explicitly, but it did. And it seemed like it wasn’t such a difficult thing for John to say at the time. Because it’s all just platonic, you say. 

Wrong. I say. If we take the latter of the above readings of John’s attitude towards his own sexuality, then he now doesn’t have a reason to doubt himself anymore. He’s with a woman, he’s about to marry that woman. Everything is great and as it should be, and suddenly something that would never ever have happened under any other circumstances does: John feels safe enough to tell Sherlock how he feels because now 'nobody will talk’ and nobody will assume anything. Because he’s with a woman! 

He hugs Sherlock, teary-eyed, in front of a couple of dozen people, because his wife is sitting right next to them. That’s proof enough that this is no homo. Everything is safe and fine. 

Think about it. Would John have told Sherlock the same thing if he hadn’t been engaged at the time? Big no, imho. But if it’s all just platonic, then why does he need that 'safety’ of a heterosexual relationship to shield him from any other allegations? 

Also note how John’s denial gets stronger and stronger from every time he utters the words “I’m not gay.” At first, at Angelo’s, he’s rather amused by it and states it calmly. Later, he sounds a bit more annoyed that it keeps coming up, and in season 3 he basically yells at Mrs Hudson “HOW MANY TIMES… […] I’M NOT GAY!”

Would a man who is perfectly confident with his sexuality (and most certainly not a homophobe) be this violent in his denial, as you have put it? Would he, rather than just roll his eyes and chuckle and respond calmly, get so angry? The only reason I can think of that makes any sense is that his vehemence springs from a deep, (subconscious or not) frustration and regret that, no, they never were a couple while, yes, damnit, he would have liked that. But it NEVER happened. So STFU. 

Whether John is in love with Mary is another complex question. Simply put: yes, he is. But being in love with one person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be in love with another one as well. On different levels. 

The interesting bit here is that Mrs Hudson, who has served as a foreshadowing “prophet” several times, tells John about her and her late husband’s relationship as something purely physical. They couldn’t keep their hands of each other. But later, she found out what a bad person he was, a criminal whose death she didn’t mourn.

Now, we don’t see any evidence on John and Mary being very physical (another complex topic in itself; there are two people who are a very affectionate and adorable couple in real life, yet there was hardly any chemistry between them, no affectionate, romantic moments; a much more buddy-like atmosphere between them than anything else while, between John and Sherlock, we see lingering, yearning gazes and sizzling chemistry all the time). However, we later find out that Mary, too, is a criminal and not who John thought her to be. 

As soon as John learns this, he immediately switches sides again, literally stands/the sits on Sherlock’s as they confront her like a client. Had Sherlock not gone out of his way to convince John he should accept this fact about Mary and stay with her, I’m convinced John wouldn’t have taken her back. (What Sherlock’s motivation here was: altruism or a long game remains to be seen; there are indicators for both options). 

We also know that John never pursued any steady relationships with any woman after the conversation with Irene (and after Jeanette). As if a part of him had accepted Irene’s explanation then, and that was that. The only time he started something new was when, to his knowledge, Sherlock was dead. And it took him one and a half years until he finally had been over Sherlock’s death enough to open up to someone new. 

What is interesting here is how the moustache can be interpreted. We all know that it is a common phenomenon that, once your life changes drastically or you want to start a new chapter, you often go and change your looks. John tried the moustache as something new about the time he got together with Mary (we know from her that it was six months of bristly kisses, but in Many Happy Returns he didn’t have the moustache yet, which can’t have been much longer before Sherlock’s return because Anderson points out Sherlock is getting closer and coming back). 

The moustache also ages him, makes him look more 'boring’, so it can be seen as a symbol for an ordinary, boring, age-appropriate life. As soon as Sherlock comes back, though, he gets rid of it. For Sherlock (as I’ve pointed out before, he interestingly uses the same wording as Molly when she gets rid of her lipstick to impress Sherlock) And he becomes the John Watson from before, again. 

Anyway… woah, this got a lot longer than expected and I feel I haven’t even covered half of it. 

TL;DR: Reading John’s vehement denial of being gay as nothing but what it textually is is unlikely for many reasons, most of all that he wouldn’t have anything to be angry about if there was nothing to it, since John isn’t a homophobe and such assumptions shouldn’t bother him. He tells Sherlock he loves him because it’s safe, and he only fell in love with Mary because Sherlock was dead. 

anonymous asked:

Sam, how do you get over wanting to be fandom-popular? Fandom popularity is built a lot on what's the currently in kink/ship/whatever, and if you're not interested in that part you're often shouting into the void. Interaction between fans is what keeps me engaged and I always feel lonely whichever fandom I land in. It's not something I can help (short of being inducted into a BNF's circle) but I don't know how to get over it either.

Oh Anon. Where to begin. This may be kind of incoherent because there’s a lot going on in your ask, but I’ll do my best. 

To start with, I am actually kind of a bad person to ask about this because I…am fandom-popular. So clearly I didn’t exactly get over it. :D But let me talk a little bit about two things: why you might not actually want to be fandom-famous as much as you think, and how you satisfy the desire without actually having to be fandom famous. 

(Quick vocab lesson for those who will ask – “BNF” refers to the term “Big Name Fan”, someone who is well-known and prominent in fandom, usually for creating popular fanworks. I have been a BNF for roughly twelve years, though the definition has changed over time. And it is not always a term of endearment.) 

Okay. Let’s dig in.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Welcome back, I'm so happy to see you posting again! I've got medieval-ish fantasy setting and two characters with anxiety and grief-induced depression, respectively. I haven't been able to find any resources about how these conditions might be handled in the middle ages, nor am I sure how they could seek treatment since they don't have access to counseling or modern medications. Any tips?

Culture is everything. 

I say that because the time period can be largely irrelevant where attitudes towards mental illness/treatment are concerned. Historically, different cultures had very different ways of perceiving and assisting people going through such things. Some saw lingering grief as a demon, others a sickness in the soul. 

The one thing that seems to pervade most cultures’ perception of this sort of thing is what the cause is thought to be. Anxiety can be caused by an event, certainly, but some people simply suffer with it because of genetic or chemical factors. 

It’s important to note that some cultures actually had a very progressive method of treatment. During the Golden Age of Islam, for example, psychiatric cases were exclusively handled in hospitals as early as the 8th century. We’re not talking about barbaric treatments in this case, either; arts, music, baths, meditation and occupational therapy were all part of recovery. They believed that the body had four humors, which were bodily fluids identified as blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm. An imbalance of these humors was thought to cause psychosis and psychological problems. This meant that such imbalances could be treated, and in many cases medicated, to bring about the right balance in a person. 

So, if you want to write realistically, it doesn’t have to be a case of, “By the Maker! He won’t stop crying, he’s possessed!”. Grief was a very common emotion and the after-effects would have been well known. The further we go back in history, the more likely it is that people would experience grief often and unexpectedly. How grief is expressed ‘appropriately’ varies from people to people. Some cultures demanded dignity whilst others expected passion and full expression. Anxiety is curious because it’s a fairly recent ‘discovery’ despite being present in humans for thousands upon thousands of years. 

I’ve popped some resources at the bottom of the post, but I think you can answer most of your question with the internal logic of your world and some serious consideration on how it works there.

I think you’ll need to consider:

- What are the societal norms and does the character break them? If so, how would this culture and its people respond? Are they well educated or ignorant? 

- Is there a spiritual element to this culture? Is there a belief in life after death as comfort? What does your character think has happened? 

- How does your character experience anxiety? How do the people around them experience your character’s anxiety? How does it look to them based on their own perception and understanding of the world? 

- Are there any scholars/academics/doctors who have specialist knowledge of these things? Could they realistically seek treatment?

- What level of scientific understanding does the world at large have? Has it compartmentalised the body into certain ‘zones’, like chakras, or noted any important features, like humors? 

- Is there conflict between religious and scientific approaches? Which one is the dominant theory? How would treatment approaches vary? 

- Beware the cure. Sometimes we want our characters to feel better so badly that by the end of the book, instead of overcoming their challenges, we’ve located a deus ex machina to cure them. These are big hurdles and will be important building blocks for your story. It’s important that you show the struggle without taking away from a message of hope (if that’s your goal, of course, if you want to George R. R. Martin your way to happiness, by all means, go ahead!). 

This is a great resource for some reading on the subject:


As long as you answer the questions above and combine it with your understanding of how your characters are experiencing their difficulties, I think you’ll do just fine. 

And finally, thank you, it’s great to be back. If I’ve been too vague or you need more discussion on this, please hit my inbox again. :)