where my heart used to be

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So you wanna start a podcast? A guide to getting started. (Reblog if you think it's useful)

If you ever thought about starting a podcast, but felt stuck figuring out where to being, I wrote this for you. Three years of making @wolf359radio and @focusedafshow, I’ve learned a lot and packed as much of it as I could in this epic Medium post. If you like my article, please recommend it on Medium by pressing the green heart! Also, I’d appreciate if you’d share it with anyone you think would get value from it :) Podcasting has unequivocally changed my life for the better and I hope you consider letting it transform your world, too!

Originally posted by day-glow-odyssey

Too Late- Namjoon Angst

I was too late. I couldn’t tell him how I felt, I had missed my chance. 

Genre: ANGST

Word count:1435

Originally posted by oneversehobi

Namjoon and I had been best friends for years. Since he was 16 and i was 15. We did everything together, i encouraged him to follow his dreams. I stayed with him late nights when he was stuck in the studio. We told eachother everything.

We were inseparable, to the point where people would mistake us for dating. I wish we were. I’ve had feeling for Namjoon since i was 16. But he never showed any signs of feeling the same. So i was afraid of ruining our relationship that i kept it quiet. And it was killing me slowly. But know at 21 i was getting ready to attend his wedding.

I didn’t want to watch my best friend marry someone who wasn’t me. I know that is selfish but i don’t think my heart could bear it. I was heart broken when he got a girlfriend but put on a happy face. When he told me he was going to propose to her i kept a happy face. When they announced their engagement i cried hysterically.

I put on a happy act even though i was breaking inside. The other members knew this, especially Jimin. He was my rock through all of this, comforting me and being a hand to hold. I finished getting ready, and Jimin said he would be my date. I was thankful for that.

The girl Namjoon was marrying was a sweetheart. Fans loved her to bits. But a lot of them saw how sad i was, and they comforted me. But Namjoon was blind to all of it. As i started putting a small purse together my mind drifted to when Namjoon told me about her. He gushed for hours and as he did i felt my heart crack little by little.

I finished packing and headed to the living room where Jimin waited. A sad smile adorned his features as he said “You look stunning Y/N.” i gave him a sad smile back “Thank you.” I was wearing a black dress, it came down to a little above my knee. I didn’t want to wear something bright, this was a funeral to me.

A funeral for myself. The life I wish I had, and for my heart. This was the day I had been hoping would be mine. But it was someone else’s now. Namjoon was in love, and I would never be able to tell him how I felt. I was too late. I lost my chance.

I couldn’t deny the heaviness in my heart. It really did feel like I was going to a funeral. I took jimin’s extended hand and we headed to the church


The church was full of chatter and laughter when we arrived. Family and friends giddy with excitement, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Jimin brought me to my seat before heading back. He was Namjoon’s best man after all. I stayed there trying to force a happy face. I saw Namjoon’s mother and father and they both gave me a sad look. They said it themselves, they expected the two of us to end up together.

I glanced around, some people were giving me pity looks and I hated it. They all could see how much I loved Him, everyone could see it. Except him. The time came were the church quieted and Namjoon walked down, followed by each member with a bridesmaid.

They all took their seats except for Jimin who remained up with Namjoon. I watched Namjoon scans the crowd before his eyes landed on me. We made eye contact and I forced a smile, he smiled back. The organ began to play and his head whipped towards the doors. Waiting for his soon to be wife to walk through them.

We all stood as the door opened. And she began to walk down the aisle. She looked absolutely gorgeous, hair and makeup perfect. A huge smile on her face, she was glowing. I envied her. He looked up at Namjoon, whose eyes were wide and a look of pure love in his eyes. My heart hurt. I choked down a sob and watched as she finally met him.

The ceremony went through smoothly and finally it was time for them to exchange their vows. I held back my tears, listening to their words and how much love they had in them. I couldn’t ruin this for them. The priest gave me one last chance “Speak now or forever hold your peace.” I bit my lip so hard to keep from speaking. I couldn’t do this to him, not now, not ever.

They exchanged rings. And my heart cracked.

“I now pronounce you husband and Wife, you may kiss the bride!” They kissed and as everyone cheered I broke down in sobs. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I got up from my seat and ran. So focused on getting out of there. I didn’t realize that the church had gone silent as I burst through the doors.

I ran across the street towards the park. I needed fresh air, I could barely get any into my lungs as I cried. I slowed down and sat on a bench. I felt like I was over reacting but I had such sadness in my heart I didn’t care.

I heard the pounding of feet behind me and expected it to be Jimin. I didn’t bother looking back before I started talking Jimin, I couldn’t do it, I tried I really did. But now he is married and happy. I couldn’t even say anything when i had one last chance. He looked so in love. If he is happy with her- which i know he is- then i will suffer so he can be happy. I just wish i could have told him once that i loved him.

Y/N you love me? My blood ran cold. I slowly turned to see Namjoon looking at me with wide eyes. He seemed so surprised by this that it angered me. So without thinking i began talking. You are really that blind Kim Namjoon? I’ve been in love with you for seven years. But you never seemed to feel the same. So i stayed quiet. You are so in love with her Namjoon, so i kept my mouth shut all these years for your happiness.

Y/N i have loved you since i met you. My heart stopped and i lost it KIM NAMJOON DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME! I HAVE SUFFERED FOR YEARS WHILE YOU WERE HAPPY. AND NOW, ONCE YOU ARE A MARRIED MAN YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO TELL ME?” he remained silent, tears slowly scraping down his cheeks. I began again You have no right to be crying Namjoon. It’s your wedding day for fuck sake. You married the girl who you said was “Your dream girl.” Namjoon please, stop crying and go be with your bride. I see no reason for you to be here and not with h… i was cut off by him placing his lips on mine. It was a warm kiss and i froze. He was a married man, he had his wife. I pushed him back and wiped my face tears cascading down.

Namjoon. Why would you do this to me? You know what maybe it is best we don’t talk to each other anymore. His eyes widened and his voice cracked as he spoke

Y/n please don’t leave me, your are my best friend.

I shook my head and gave him a sad smile. Namjoon if you didn’t want me to leave then you should have done something about it earlier. I love you Kim Namjoon, but I guess you will always be the one that got away.

But… but I don’t have to be. I can get a divorce, I can still be with you. I gave him a cold laugh, I looked up at him with no emotion in my eyes before saying You are a smart man Namjoon and you’ve made your choice. Even if you did all of that I wouldn’t accept it. I wouldn’t even know you anymore. So go and happy with your wife. I’ll be ok one day I’m sure these feelings will fade. Good bye Kim Namjoon

And without another word I turned around and walked away. It hurt to do that to him but I had to for my own good. I had to be selfish for once. So I walked away and didn’t look back. I had to move on.

And this was the first step to doing so.


Epilogue anyone?

@somberfawn welp congrats you succeeded in ripping out my heart :I I’m pretty sure this prompt just killed me.

(I love it though it hurts so good 😭💔)

(The idea behind this one was Shiro having a nightmare where everything goes wrong from not protecting Katie to being re imprisoned to the healing pod not being able to save her. I actually used a reference for the pose cos I wanted it just right)

(This drawing is from my shidge request post. I will be posting the last of the requests tonight.)

anonymous asked:

Hey! :) Here's an exact translation of what Denis said to Cassidy : "Get out of here! Do you think I need your pity? Do you think I need you to take care of me? I'm not a child, I don't need you to tie my shoelaces." Come to think of it I think what really breaks my heart is the scene where Cass offers Denis some m&m's...I mean that's typically what you would remember a child loving to eat...

hey! thank you, that’s much more specific!

yes :((( We know from previous things Denis has said that Cassidy has probably shown up sporadically, partied in his apartment and mooched off him, then left. perhaps his mother used to be there but she is long since dead. it’s no wonder he received him with such bitterness. yet he still had a hard time turning him away - makes you think there were maybe some pretty good memories mixed in there as well, which makes the bitterness all the greater probably. 

3

ZOSAN Egyptian AU: “For A heart” Collab

Character Sheet: Post!Sanji (2 years into relationship with Zoro)

Hey there, Mossy here! Doing a little solo since @cyriusli is out of commission for a bit thanks to surgery and life! As promised, here’s the art I previewed in the vlog!

If you like our work, please consider checking out my art blog where it links to my patreon, and @cyriusli‘s page as well where it links to her ko-fi! It’ll really help us out with bringing you more ZoSan!

Ahah, I’ve been waiting forever to put this up! I sketched it about a month ago now, wow! Time sure flies! But I finally get to show you Post-Timeskip Kitty-Pharaoh Sanji! (We’ve got him in armor later down the line, but for now, let’s enjoy some Sanji butt shall we?) 

More on his design below the cut!

Keep reading

Obligatory Mafia AU That No One Asked For™

Intergalactic Mafia AU headcanons because I’m always a slut for Mafia AUs–

I was actually very reluctant to post this bc I don’t know how anyone would feel but tbh mafia AUs hold a special place in my heart and I couldn’t deny myself this. I’m gonna post more, b/c galran half of the mafia AU

– Ryan

Hunk:

• Weapon of choice: blunt projectiles / clubs
• Works as clean-up, along with Pidge
• Although he doesn’t do much in the field, you know, except for cleaning, he does a lot more in the castle
• He does his part as chef, where Coran used to work as well until everyone decided enough is enough
• Hunk’s side hobby is making and testing out poisons??
• Like can’t you just see him meddling around with the herbs and different elements and the burners trying to make different chemicals for their different targets? let’s keep in mind not all of them are humans
• I can totally see him threatening everyone if they misbehave with certain poisons he makes
• No one trusts the dinner he makes that night
• “If I don’t see him eating it, I’m not touching it”
• “Quit being a baby, you really think I’m gonna sabotage my own food??”

Pidge:

• Weapon of choice: knives
• Works as clean-up, along with Hunk, but mostly she works from within the castle
• She’s the technician and the weapons specialist of the family
• She’s also the information broker / archiver
• Pidge is a very vital part of this family proTECT HER AT ALL COSTS
• Rarely ever does confrontations, but will fight if she must.
• Most jobs she takes are infiltrating jobs, or any job that she can get close to the target enough to administer a poison
• She’ll paint her blades with the poisons Hunk makes on the off chance she has to go out on a job
• Constantly makes 007 puns
• Constantly makes gangster puns

Lance:

• Weapon of choice: any form of artillery tbh probably an automatic weapon
• He’s the sniper of the family, and specializes in ranged combat rather than close combat
• He’s the one that insists they dress all sharp and wear sunglasses and everything
• “Lance, you’ve seen The Godfather far too many times-”
• “The sunglasses idea was from Men In Black, leave me alone!”
Is actually a good shot, and him and Keith are normally the ones to go out on jobs for hits
• Because him and Keith are always the ones that go out for hits, he can’t help but make a competition out of it
• “Hey, I bet I can drop more of these goons than you can.”
• “Why do you have to be so morbid about this.”
• Imagine the cleanup poor Hunk, poor Pidge
• Usually deals in illicit behaviors like back alley transactions

Keith:

• Weapon of choice: twin pistols
• He’s really flexible with his weapons, and he isn’t picky. If he’s forced into close combat (which, thanks to Lance, is quite often) he’ll pull out brass knuckles, and fight with martial combat.
• He once took a man down with a bamboo-woven broom and a spatula
• No one will let him live that one down
• “Remember that time we went for a job, and Keith forgot his weapon?”
• “Lance”
• “And he stole that broom from Home Depot?”
• “Lance
• “And then that woman bitchslapped him with that spatula–
• “LANCE
• Other than that, Pidge will custom-make a weapon to suit Keith’s fighting styles: semi-automatics, pistols, knives, projectiles, chemical weapons, bombs, you name it
• Usually handles jobs on his own, and acts more as a bounty hunter than a mobster

Shiro:

• Weapon of choice: hand blades + attachable prosthetic
• He’s pretty good with a gun, but he’s more agile in close combat
• He’s the one that’s handed all the s-rank missions
• He acts as the ‘head’ of the family. Some might call him daddy. Or just dad, really, he’s Dad™
• More or less the big shot, and because of his success story, is alternatively known as the Champion
• Pidge makes him prosthetic attachables, sometimes guns, but mostly swords or other kinds of blades.

the worst part about the show making arya some absurd version of stoneheart is that the books are clearly setting arya up to *stop* lady stoneheart. like its gonna be the literal opposite situation. i don’t need to read twow to know where this is going. its obvious. grrm was adamant about stoneheart being kept in for a reason. its going to be a huge part of arya’s arc and growth but instead they’ve just kept her in this static state where they use her to kill for shock and its fucking terrible and its breaking my heart tbh

The house this luminary (sun) is in shows where we want to shine and be recognized - it describes the focus of our life. This part of life is illuminated and becomes very important to us, our whole being and energy is put inside this house - we put our heart into this house. Even when we try to pursue other areas of life, we will go back to this one again and again - until we have it figured out and have succeeded there, we can’t really focus on anything else.
—  Marina Kuhn in Your Micorcosm

nylah-sims  asked:

Hey Pearl! I'm a new simblr account! But I gotta say I'm loving your blog and legacy! Please may you tell me where you got your gradient backgrounds or if you made them, how you made them for your edits? Tysm ❤ You're amazing at editing especially as you only use gimp! Honestly, keep doing what you're doing!!!! ~ ❀◕ 3 ◕❀

Hello! You are incredibly sweet and this just melted my heart! <3 Thank u so much for ur kind words, they mean the world to me! As for my gradient background I made it myself but I don’t even remember how I did tbh, regardless you can find some fantastic gradient backgrounds in similar colors that I use here, here and here!

peafowlsoul  asked:

Do you like Rize?

Mod K:

Guuurl, Mod A, Mod M, and I love every female character in this series.

I adore Rize. I like how she is unapologetically violent. She has no qualms about where her meals are, and takes an almost depraved joy out of her victims’ suffering. She is strong and confident and her abilities, which is why Fu//ruta had to use an underhanded method to injure her. She is a very self-assured person, which is why it breaks my heart that she is still captured and being used against her will. Granted, she is dangerous as hell, but seeing her starved and calling for her father still made me feel badly.

I like seeing women portrayed in dark ways, so Rize is near to my heart. I wish she was featured more in the series!

anonymous asked:

Where do you find all of your cute gifs? They are just so cute.

hey anon! I love lil gifs w/all my heart so I feel u! 

tbh I usually just type in ‘pixel tumblr’ or ‘tiny pixel’ to scroll around + find something that suits my fancy!

here’s some sites, but there’s tons more! :)

be careful tho, you’ll be on there 4 ages saving pixels…..use at ur own risk m8

I used to dream of you
And only you
Obsessively infatuated with a man who lived to break my heart

In these dreams minutes passed like days
You and I in a twin sized bed
Where the honey sun hung low in the sky
And pierced through the blinds and onto our face
Lazy lovers
Fingers and lips glued to eachother


I still dream of you from time to time
But these dreams are different

I dream of a Cliffside
Somewhere out in the west
The wind in my hair and sun in my eyes
I stare below the cliffs to the raging water
And you hang like a spider from its web, on the air
Your fingers barely grasping the mountain side

You look at me with desperation in your eyes
The same desperation I had over and over
The longing in your heart to be alive
Just as I had
When you took my heart out of my chest over
And over
An ache
A fear

You barely get out the word “please”
In your shaking
Cowardly voice
I look deep into your eyes for a moment
Reach out my hand for you
And just as you go to grasp it
Pull it away from you

Then I wake up

Fandoms at this moment
  • SvTFOE: *screaming into pillow for July 15th* IMGONNAFUCKINDIE
  • Kingdom Hearts: aaaaAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE *screams alongside with Star fans*
  • Adventure Time: we're still here! For now...
  • Steven Universe: *sobbing into a pillow from last month or doing memes*
  • Invader Zim: >:)
  • MLP: WE GOT A FUCKIN MOVIE AT LAST YAAAASSS
  • Wizard101: *dabbing to Emperya nusic while sobbing as well*
  • Pirate101: it's been...84 years
  • Winx Club: *rising from the dead* WE STILL HERE
  • Gravity Falls: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we still here don't worry
  • Homostuck: *'patiently' waiting for Hiveswap*
  • Samurai Jack: *on the floor, tears swelling in their eyes* where's....new....content....
  • Eddsworld: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but bassboosted
  • Trauma Center: ATLUS-SAMA JUST NOTICE US
  • Persona: *dabbing to 'Last Surprise'*
  • Villainous: We await >:3
  • Sorry if I got some incorrect ^^; I'm not particularly active in some of these communities but I see posts about 'em here and there!

whatever you do, don’t look through old twenty one pilots social media albums.

don’t scroll through the 2011s, to the 2010s, all the way to the 2009s.

don’t look at Mark’s late-night sketches of equipment and cameras he longs to own. don’t look at his excited facebook posts about the “incredible amount” of about 15 people that bought his reel bear posters. don’t find his first still photographs of Tyler and Josh, when the three of them were just broke college kids.

don’t scroll down Brad’s twitter until you find days that he desperately tried to get work as a photographer. don’t scroll until you see his desperate inspirational posts. don’t scroll so far that you see the cameras he used to dream of.

don’t look at Michael’s posts from when he traveled the world with his best friends. don’t find videos of him and Tyler joking about how he’s “not a real security guard”. don’t find his grainy photos of the team traveling in a little white van. don’t scroll on Michael’s instagram until you see his long, heart-felt goodbye posts to the clique, and to Tyler and Josh.

and for the love of everything, don’t find the whole facebook albums that tired, beaten down Tyler filled with pictures of the few people that came to his shows. don’t see his old pictures filled with captions like, “thanks for showing up.” don’t find pictures that young Mark took of Tyler’s eyes open in passion, hoping the bartenders would turn and catch a glimpse of his show. don’t find where Tyler used to post reminders to be at the shows, because he never knew if someone would show up. don’t read the old posts about how he had to say goodbye to Nick and Chris.

don’t find Josh’s first pictures where he wrote poems in the captions, and used sad words in his posts. don’t look at his excitement when he got to be a part of twenty one pilots. resist the urge to find pictures of his brown-haired self sleeping in the back of a crammed van.

don’t do any of this. unless, of course, you want to end up like me: silent and at loss for words in front of a computer screen, tears in my eyes. don’t do this if you don’t want to feel a deep pride in your heart for how far this band has come. don’t find the old posts if you desperately miss the old crew. don’t read the comments on old posts unless you want to desperately write over and over again to Brad and Tyler and Josh and Mark that, “keep going, keep working. it gets better. you get the equipment, you get the second chances, you get the big shows, you get the recognition. keep working past crew members and band. keep working for what you believe in, it will come to you.” don’t read the old captions if you don’t want a feeling of helplessness as you wish you could go back in time and tell them that it will all work out.

Saltwater Witchery’s Greatest Hits: Vol. 3

Originally posted by 190x

Here is a catalog of my most requested and most liked posts.  I hope this helps you navigate your witchy world a little easier.  Collecting resources is key!

SALTWATER SCHOOL
Lessons for craft beginners and baby witches.

MEETING WITCHES & MAKING FRIENDS
Find other witches and make lasting connections.

SEA & WATER MAGICK
Charms, spells, potions, and incantations with water and sea leanings.

MISCELLANEOUS CRAFT WORK & SPELL CASTING
Bits and bobs around my blog.

TAROT & OTHER DIVINATION
Readings, How-Tos, Fundamentals, Requests.

SIGIL WORK
Creating and working with sigils.

ABOUT SALTWATERWITCHERY/KATIE
Get to know me a little better.

Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly.
—  Charlotte Brontë