where is mrs. right

“On July 22, 1991, I called Jeff’s apartment several times. My mother had called to tell me that she has been unable to reach him, and that he had missed a promised visit to her house. The next morning, July 23, 1991, I called Jeff’s apartment at about nine in the morning. The phone rang several times before someone finally answered it. At the other end I heard a man’s voice, but it wasn’t Jeff’s.

“Is Jeff there?” I asked.

Jeffrey Dahmer? the man asked.

“That’s right.”

“No, he’s not here right now,” the man said in a guarded voice, as if he was being cautious about something.

“Where is Jeff?” I asked.

“He’s not here,” the man repeated, still speaking very guardedly. “Who is this?”

“I’m Jeff’s father.”

I could hear something catch in his breath.

“You’re Jeffrey Dahmer’s father?”

“Yes,” I told him. “Where is Jeff?”

“Well, your son’s not here right now.”

“Where is he?”

“Someone will call you, Mr. Dahmer.”

“Call me? What about?”

“A detective will call you.”

“A detective?” I repeated, thinking that Jeff had probably gotten into trouble again, perhaps because he was drunk, or worse, that he had molested yet another child.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

It was then that the man on the other end of the line finally told me who he was, that he was a member of the Milwaukee Police Department. He hesitated just an instant, then let the hammer fall. “We’re investigating a homicide, Mr. Dahmer,” he said.

“A homicide?” I asked, and suddenly I thought that I was about to receive what I felt at that time must surely be the worst news a parent could ever receive, that someone had murdered his child.

“Homicide?” I repeated. “You mean Jeff’s been—“

“No, not Jeff,” the man told me quickly, my son’s name sounding like something dirty he did not want on his tongue.Jeff is alive and well.”

Lionel Dahmer, A Father’s story

Secret

A Bucky Barnes One-Shot

Character Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader

Word Count: 2426

Warnings: NSFW 18+. Smut, swearing, fingering, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap the willy!) chocolate pie porn.

Request: Hello! I have a request, could you do one where the reader starts working for Tony and soon after the reader and Bucky start a secret affair? Thanks love! - Anon

A/N: Here you go my dear! Sorry that it took me so long!



‘You can do this.’

‘You have worked hard for this.’

‘You deserve this.’

The pep talk you were giving yourself as you drove up to the gate surrounding the Avengers compound wasn’t helping your nerves at all. You leaned forward to look up through your windshield at the concrete walls. This place was a fortress.

You rolled your window down when you approached a booth. You hit the green call button and jumped at the electronic voice that spoke.

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Musical Theatre Nerd Answers

“UGH! Why would you ship the Hero with the Villain???”

Hmm, well for starters-

Yes, that is Taran Killam humping a floor during a production of Little Shop Of Horrors. You’re welcome.

But in all seriousness- The hero getting it on with the bad boy has always been hot. If you call me immoral and disgusting you’re literally this lady from Rock Of Ages:

There’s nothing wicked about a person thinking two fictional adult characters have chemistry. Period.

In a world where everyone strives to find Mr./Mrs. Right, the idea that Mr./Mrs. Wrong could be their Right is too fascinating to ignore.

Originally posted by desireearmfeldt

Star-crossed lovers is twisted and darkened to create an intriguing, dramatic, and beautiful plot.

Originally posted by worldwithnomorenight

Now this argument isn’t new and I could explain and explain ‘til I’m blue in the face,
But, honestly, Sally Bowles said it best:

Originally posted by cinegif

“I think people are marvelous, I really do. I don’t think people should have to explain anything… If they ask me why, I say “I THINK IT’S PRETTY” 

So, there you have it.

I THINK IT’S PRETTY

Hellsing & Vulnerability: Alt. How Sad is Alucard?

Gentlemen… I am a nerd.

Case in point: during my lunch breaks, instead of surfing Facebook—something I save for the comfort of my couch—I am on the TED talks website. Nothing makes my day like learning something new; I would take infinite college courses if they didn’t cost a dime, no matter how stressful the workload would be. Give me a lecture on anthropology or ancient history and I am happy as a lark.

Recently, my lunchtime lecture was given by self-proclaimed researcher-storyteller Brené Brown. It was entitled “The Power of Vulnerability”, and I highly recommend you view it [link here], if you’re interested in human nature like I am. Anyway, so I’m sitting there, half-reclined with the door to my classroom locked and fully engrossed in both the video and the sandwich in my hand, when it hits me. I’ve heard of inspiration washing over people like a wave, but when I get it, it’s like an arrow straight to my brain: sudden, unexpected, and I can’t think of much else afterwards.  

My brain sent a single thought through my head, one that made me stop chewing and run it through two or three times to make sure I’d heard it right: Alucard’s greatest fear is vulnerability.

Emotionally, that is.

Well, wait, I countered myself, taking another bite of my sandwich. Who isn’t afraid of vulnerability? It’s sort of a given: we don’t want to let anyone else—who can do harm—into the deepest, most secretive part of our souls. But then, as I thought more, I realized that although we as humans try to hide it, vulnerability also has a little habit of sneaking through.

Humans, as a species, are amazing. My favorite thing to learn about is universal experience. For example, all nations seem to have the odd occurrence where a child’s father tells corny jokes that often fall flat, but are funny because they fall flat. But dad jokes aside, universal experience bleeds into vulnerability like pink on a white dress. You don’t have to know someone’s language to know that they’re smiling because they’re happy, or covering their eyes and cowering because they’re afraid. Body language, facial expression, the look in their eyes—it all goes without saying, no matter who you are or where you’re from. Isn’t that amazing???!

(Clears throat) Since I was supposed to be talking about Hellsing, I’ll use an example from the manga/OVA. Also—do I even have to mention spoilers at this point? It should be assumed, but even so: spoilers!

The scene I’m thinking about is not Alucard, but rather his master. When Walter shows up on the streets of London, dressed in conveniently found leather and sporting some impressive age reducing cream, everyone is astounded. Seras gasps dramatically, Alucard smiles like he always does, the Iscariots go “No, no, don’t step there!” collectively. But what always got me was Integra’s reaction. Not immediately, though she does kind of waste her nicotine on the bloody ground, but afterwards, when Alucard asks her what he’s supposed to do—kind of. That one page became one of my absolute favorites in the manga, and it’s an excellent jumping point for our talk about vulnerability.

See, Hirano didn’t have to say “Oh, she’s super sad. That was her butler and kind of her second dad and now he’s thrown their relationship away to fight another dick also dressed up in leather”. He didn’t need to say it. She says it all without a word in edgewise about it: clenched fists, watery eyes, a tightness in her stance that suggests fighting back tears… she’s in despair. When you see a panel like this, it’s all too easy to remember that she’s a young 20+ woman who just lost the last person she could theoretically call family.

Heartbreaking, but what’s my point? Think about it. She was in the middle of a war, her house is on fire, vampires are trying to bite her, she was unofficially kidnapped and held hostage by a bunch of weirdos working for the Vatican, and she remains calm and cool. Her breaking point only comes when something cuts her to the core, something that she can’t deal with without instantly having to fight against the tears that would show everyone—enemies included— “hey, I’m hurting emotionally, I really need comfort and reassurance.”  

POINT #1: Vulnerability shows when a person feels a pain so great that it strikes a chord within their soul. Remember it, bookmark it: it’ll come back up later.

Another big thing, that I didn’t really think about until Mrs. Brown touched on it, was that the only people who don’t feel shame are the ones who lack the ability to connect empathetically with others. Now, I know you just read that and thought “Wait, weren’t we talking about vulnerability?”, but trust me on this. It’s just another point I’m making.

Now, let me ask you this: What is the defining term between the words psychopath and sociopath? Most people put them on the same lines, but there’s a major, major difference. That term is conscience. Psychopaths lack a conscience. They feel no sense of right or wrong about what they do. They can’t connect with others. Sociopaths, according to experts, have a weak conscience. They feel guilt or remorse, but it’s not strong enough to guide their hand like it might be in the average person’s mind.  

Now, Mrs. Brown found in her research that the underlying cause for shame, for people saying ‘I’m not ___ enough, I don’t deserve love or happiness” is excruciating vulnerability. The people who were ashamed of themselves were also afraid to let their inner selves show to the world. And the only people who don’t feel shame are psychopaths, who lack empathetical connections with others.

Point #2: Sociopaths can feel shame; therefore, they can feel vulnerable. You can probably see where I’m going at this point, right?

Last point: Mrs. Brown, in her findings, talked about something called “numbing vulnerability”. She talked about how humans will try to numb the emotions that they don’t like or agree with, the ones that cause them pain or go against what they consider their morality. Think of monks and nuns giving up pleasures for devotion, that sort of thing. But humans can’t just numb things that make them suffer. When they do, it starts numbing other things, too. You can get rid of shame, of guilt, disappointment, but at what cost? Joy, gratitude, happiness.

POINT #3: Those who chose to fight against vulnerability, become miserable.

Think of the London Blitz, or as I call it: manga catharsis. Everyone—Iscariot, Hellsing, Millennium: they all blew up, shot a man or two, got their emotions out, and if they lived they went on with their lives. SAY THAT I’M WRONG. Out of all the people that could have cried their eyes out there, which one of them did? (looks at camera like the office) Which one of them had a complete screaming, crying meltdown and showed a surprising amount of true vulnerability to a dying man as well as like, fifty other people who were just kind of hanging back and watching it all play out?

It wasn’t Seras, I’ll tell you that much. T_T;

Let’s take our three main points and apply them to the 600-year-old… uh… guy.

Point 1: Why did he have that fit in the first place? Catharsis, I tell you! Anyway, he was angry at Anderson for becoming a… plant thing dude. Ugly. He was mad at Anderson for turning ugly. (coughs) But if we take that point into thought, Anderson’s ugliness—okay, the nail loophole—cut him so deeply that it struck a chord within him, and he couldn’t help but rant and rave against what had happened. And, we can assume that unlike Integra, it went so deeply that he couldn’t stop the tears in time. Why? Because—and this is a bit of conjecture, but I think I can safely say—what Anderson did hit on a source of deep shame for Alucard, shame that he hadn’t been strong enough, brave enough, whatever enough to stay a human and instead became a vampire.

Summation: Alucard has the ability to feel emotions, and these can be forceful enough to provoke a reaction from him.

Point 2: Alucard is, I believe, a sociopath. Prevalent more in the manga, and subtle in the anime/OVA, he does appear to have the ability to connect with others. In the manga, he’s seen joking around with Walter, teaming up with Seras to tease Integra, getting along with Pip in a business-like way, and you can even go so far to say that he has an—albeit unhealthy—connection with both Anderson and the Major. Of course, it’s sometimes possible for people to fake these connections, but I don’t think that’s the case BECAUSE of his breakdown in London.

As stated earlier, to feel shame and vulnerability, to be burdened with emotional pain, is a sign of someone who has morality and can form relationships. Now, that’s not saying he’s a good guy—not at all. As a sociopath, any emotion he feels that gets in the way of his ultimate goal is easily ignored. He might feel guilt, shame, pain, or remorse for his actions, but he simply chooses to do it anyway and probably doesn’t bother to consider it more than a minute or two.

Another example is his and Seras’s little spat in the hotel room. She argues that the people he killed are humans, innocent of anything other than following orders. He shouts at her, yanking her up by the collar and yelling in her face. Then, when she starts to cry, he puts her back down and is more subdued. Now, there’s two ways I look at this: firstly, his expression when he sees her tears. He looks, in the OVA at least, almost shocked that she’s crying, and then seems to rethink his actions. Now, he wasn’t rethinking the killing, per say, but instead he felt something about making her cry. This leads back into the ability to make connections. He felt—bad?—about her tears, so he promptly stopped the offending action and reformed his behavior to something more acceptable: a quieter tone, placing her back on the floor, backing away to give her space. A psychopath wouldn’t care that he’d made her cry, having no emotional connection to her. But Alucard cared enough to stop the behavior, which means that he cared enough about her to at least think “I should not be doing this to this person. Let’s stop and do something else.”

Summation: Per the clinical definition of a sociopath, Alucard has the ability to both make meaningful connections with others. Whether he makes those connections or not is up to him.

Point 3: Throughout the manga/OVA, a close observer can see Alucard fighting against himself—and his emotions. When he dreams about his demise at the hands of van Helsing, he cries in his sleep. However, upon waking he is apathetic about the experience, dismissing it as “a dream; it was nothing”. He feels disgust and anger when a guard kills himself, rather than let Alucard rip him apart while alive. He speaks out against monsters “like me[himself]”, pleading with Anderson to stay human even if it costs him his life. He demeans himself at different times, often in soliloquy or as an undertone to a sentence.

This provokes the question: Does Alucard consider himself worthy of happiness? The answer is probably no, he does not. He shows himself to be very self-critical of his past choices, although he accepts all of them for what they are. However, instead of learning from his past and starting over a new leaf, he remains on the same path of death and destruction. One can assume that he might feel trapped by his own actions, unable to rise up and overcome to begin life anew. This might be why he waits for someone to kill him—a punishment that would, ultimately, free him. This would be a miserable, endless existence, one of self-loathing and an eternal feeling that he is, and always will be, beyond any sort of redemption.

Summation: Alucard’s shame and constant fighting against his own emotions has caused him to turn bitter against the world, as his existence is a cold, bleak realm of misery.

Now for the (deep, echoing voice)

 REALM OF OPINIONS:

If all of the above is true, and can be said about Alucard, here is what I think. Alucard would view his vulnerability as something weak and useless, to be despised and ignored for as long as possible. In short, I think that he would consider vulnerability to be something wholly

human

, and that as a monster he has neither need nor inclination for exposing that side to others. As a human, he was taken at a young age and abused, which set the foundations for what would have otherwise been a happy, healthy adulthood. Surely as a prisoner of the sultan, any weakness would have been mortifying to show to his captors. Even now, as a servant to the Hellsing Organization and British Empire, he would feel it better to hide any emotion that he truly felt behind a mask, so that they could have no ammunition to use against him if the time arose. This does not, however, stop him from at the very least forming a social bond with a few select people, even if they remain outside the field of acquaintances. It is shown through the manga, anime, and OVA that although he walks with both feet in the lawless side of existence, he has the ability to be polite, civilized, work with others, be a teacher, understand the implications of his actions, tease others, even laugh and cry. Despite hating the human part of himself, it is still a core element of his being. I leave you now with questions and thoughts: you are more than welcome to continue the discussion in the comments, PM me, reblog, etc. In fact, if you liked this read, please reblog it so that others can see as well! If Alucard can feel vulnerable, what other situations might he willingly/unwillingly show it? Men are automatically expected by society to be more aloof and emotionless than women, though it is not the case in the slightest. How might this also play a factor in Alucard’s psyche? Is this another part of the reason he loathes himself?If he were ever willing to step back and take a look at himself, or even go to therapy, how would that affect his behavior? As a sociopath, would he make a willing change, or would therapy only further complicate things?


I also want to do a talk that’s more about my fanfiction side of things, which will be coming up VERY soon. I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think! I leave you now, with a quote from the TED Talk that Mrs. Brown gave, that I think sums it up nicely.


But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found: To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen … to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive." 

meet the parents | jason blossom (riverdale)

Originally posted by knightlley

a/n: work by the lovely @netflixanddonuts

what is love?

for some it is a magical feeling one experiences when seeing someone they love to the point that they say they feel butterflies in their stomach.

love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. for me that person was jason blossom. it was love at first sight.

i opened my eyes and met his, it was magical. jason and I have been in a relationship for two months. every single second that I spent with him was heaven. 

today was the day i was about to meet my boyfriends parents. I was a just an ordinary, middle class teenager and therefore, beyond terrified of his parents’ reaction.

a million questions were zooming through my head. i put on a lacy red dress, the one jason gave me as a present. suddenly i heard a noise coming from my backyard.

It was Jason's car. I hastily grabbed my purse and left my bedroom. He gasped as soon as he saw my outfit.

“Y/N? You look amazing!” i blush a little, unexpectedly my smile had disappeared.

“babe? What's wrong?” his hands were not placed on my waist. 

“what… what if your parents don’t like me?” I stuttered.

“i don't care what my parents think about you. I will always love you, Y/N and nothing, I mean nothing, will ever change that.”

“What about your sister?” I said quickly he let out a deep sigh.

“Y/N…”

“She hates me, Jason!”

It was true, Cheryl honestly hated me. It was a classic. She was a popular girl, I was no one. And popular girls are mean, thats what makes them popular after all.

“You know what?! Let's just go. We don't want to be late.”

i slowly entered the massive, extravagant house of the blossom family. to be perfectly honest I didn’t expect anything less.

It was beautiful, but haunting at the same time. Suddenly, a tall, red haired woman approached me, smiling. She was wearing a long, black dress which made her look very slim. She was beautiful. She was Penelope Blossom, Jason’s mother.

“Jason? You made it?” She said and tightly hugged the boy.

“Mother, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He said while putting his hands on my waist. Her eyes were now all over me. I could sense the disappointment.

“Well, its nice to meet you, Y/N. Jason told me a lot about you.“  I returned the smile.

“Thank you fo…for having me, Mrs Blossom. You house is very beautiful” A small laugh escaped my mouth. I was extremely anxious.

“The dining room is this way.“ said Penelope "Follow me.”

jason took my hand and led me to the dining room. he sat me in a beautiful green chair taking the seat next to me. moments later the dining room door opened again and a tall, man stormed in.

Jason stood, following his moves you did too.

“Father!” Jason exclaimed and gave his father a hand shake.

“Hello Jason” He said as he shook back.

“And who may this young lady be?” He asked.

“Father, this is my girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N” He said gesturing to you.

“Ah yes! Y/N!“

Jason’s father said and he gave your hand a kiss. He sat down at the end of the table, the both of you sat after he sat down. Just few second later, a familiar girl came in. It was Cheryl.

suddenly, everything went black. My heart was racing. My chest was tight. Cheryl and I used to be friends back in the middle school, best friends actually, but all of a sudden, our friendship faded. 

She became popular, she was THAT kind of girl who becomes a cheerleader, that girl who gets a hot boyfriend and rules the whole school. I was nothing, nobody knew my name, nobody cared. Everything was darkness and gloom until Jason just came into my life. He was different, he actually cared.

"Hey babe, you alright?” my lover asked i nodded in agreement.

“Come sit with us, Cheryl, darling. Jason's girlfriend Y/N is here.” said Mrs. Blossom. After what seemed like a minute, she sat down next to her mother. She was frustrated.

“So… Y/N…” Mr. Blossom started.

“Tell us something about your family.” He said while cutting some meat on his plate.

“Well…” I could feel Cheryl's eyes on me the whole time.

“My family used to own this oil company…”

“What happened?” Cheryl cut me off she was furious.

“Um… they had problems with this whole thi…”

“So they are unemployed now?” there was a long awkward silence.

“Yes, but, you see…" she smacked her hands against the table and let out a deep sign.

"Jason?” She asked her twin “A moment?" 

Both of them excused themselves. I was confused, lost. I just wanted to be alone, In my safety zone. Where no one could see me. Mrs Blossom was just sitting there, staring at me. I suddenly started to feel very dizzy.

"Could… could you tell me where the bathroom is, please?" Mrs Blossom smiled and nodded.

"It’s right there, darling. Just take the first left." i returned the smile and walked away.

I could hear somebody talking. It was Cheryl. She was with Jason. 

I decided to come a little closer.

"A Y/L/N? Jason?! Whats gotten into you?” She shouted.

“Cheryl, listen…” He tried to calm her down.

“No! J.J! Its unacceptable!”

“I love her, Cheryl” He halfwhispered. 

I could feel my heart flutter.

“I love her and each passing second and each breath I take increases my love for her. And Whenever I feel lost, sad or defeated, I imagine her smiling and I instantly smile. She is the love of my life, Cheryl. And you are gonna have to accept that, sooner or later.”

A tiny tear escaped my eyes. I was touched by my boyfriend's words. At that exact moment, I felt it. He was the one. I quickly whipped my tears away and went back to the dining room.

After few minutes, Cheryl and Jason came back. Cheryl seemed somewhat different. She looked confused, lost. 

“We should go, Y/N. It's time.” My lover said.

“But what about the dessert?” His mother gasped.

“Maybe next time, mom”

I quickly grabbed my red coat and my purse. I was ready to go.

“You should come back next weekend!” Said Mrs. Blossom.

“We can't promise anything, mother.” Jason said, smiling.

I kissed Penelope on a cheek and hugged Clifford goodbye.

Suddenly, Cheryl appeared right in front of me.

“Cheryl? What are you…?” I gasped.

“I came to apologize.” She signed.

“Look, Y/N… My brother loves you very much. And as his sister, i want to see him happy and he really is happy with you. I’m sorry, Y/N/N, about everything.” A small tear rolled down her cheek.

“See you at Pop's tomorrow? We have a lot of things to talk about. My treat!”

I nodded in agreement.

On that day, I not only discovered unconditional love, but also true friendship. So what is love? i finally got the right answer. There are many different forms of love: either love for your family, your relatives, your significant other, god… But the strongest and most beautiful form of love is friendship.

Promise.

Genre: Angst, with a happy-ish ending tho?

Pairing: Reader X Lee Taeyong

Word Count: Roughly 2.6K

Summary: Lee Taeyong was not someone to be trifled with. He was like a disease, you needed to stay away; at least, that’s what you were told. Except, the Lee Taeyong you heard of and the one you saw were two entirely different people.

Warnings: Bullying, Suicide Attempt (toward the end); overall dark themes, despite light language being used, so if any of this triggers you, please DO NOT READ THIS.

Originally posted by kunq

You had heard the rumors about him, even before you met him. Lee Taeyong: infamous, but not for particularly pleasant reasons. Apparently, according to your friend, someone not to be associated with; an ex-bully, cheater, scammer. The list went on and on, but you weren’t particularly inclined to listen.

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Lemonade

Written for @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash 2k Negan Writing Challenge!

My prompt was “Lemonade”

Negan x wife (reader - Y/N)

Y/N=your name

Ne - reader’s nickname for Negan

This is in Negan’s POV

Warnings- NSFW, very sexy Negan times & language. NSFW aesthetic

Not real happy with the smut in this one, sorry!


1800 words

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I apologize if I forgot to tag you, Just let me know with a slap aside the head! And @#% Tumblr won’t tag everyone, I’m sorry!

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Music Series: Guys My Age by Hey Violet

I’ve liked this song since it first came out. I like the group, too. Unfortunately, I’ve been having a hard time relating to it. I think it’s been enough years since I was a teenager that it feels weird writing from a teenagers perspective, which is what this song is.

The line ‘bout to get attention from a grown up’ has always made me laugh. Being ‘grown up’ has very little to do with age, but rather maturity, and I’ve known a lot of guys in their 20’s who are a lot more mature than guys I know who are older. I had a great uncle who, in his 70s, was still not mature, leaving this life with not one ounce of maturity in him.

So instead of being from the perspective of a teen, I’m going to choose to look at it more as adult immaturity, and ride that wave and see where it takes us.

Thank you for the request! “Guys My Age” by Hey Violet can be heard HERE via Spotify.

xo

Shelli

*****************

I haven’t seen my ex since we broke up

Probably ‘cause he didn’t wanna grow up

Now I’m out and wearing something low-cut

'Bout to get attention from a grown up

'Cause you hold me like a woman

In a way I’ve never felt before

And it makes me wanna hold on

And it makes me wanna be all yours

“So you broke up with him?” Harry asked, as the two of you walked through the open-air market together, fondling fruits and veggies, smiling at the vendors as you made your purchases.

“Yeah,” you nod. “You were right. It was like dating a child.”

“Called that one straight off, didn’t I?” he bragged, laughing. “You should listen to me more often. I’m always right.”

“Ha!” you laugh out loud.

“You laugh at me?” he asks with a surprised look as you shoot a look of confirmation toward him. “Alright! Tonight we go out and I’ll show you why you should always listen to me, especially regarding who you date. I can find the perfect man for you. You’ll see I’m always right, I promise.”

Within minutes of you finishing getting ready for your evening out with Harry, you hear him at your door and open it. Harry begins to speak but abruptly stops, as his gaze follows slowly down your body and back up again, observing the sexy, almost-slutty clothes you were wearing. Beautifully defined cleavage, skirt the perfect length to show-off your gorgeous legs, and tightly-clinging fabric that left little to the imagination. You were ready to find this ‘perfect man’ that Harry was sure he could find. If nothing else you would enjoy a fun evening out with your best friend.

“I’m guessing I chose the right outfit for a cat cruise?” you ask, smirking, as he continued to stare at you.

“Cat cruise?” he asks, confused.

“Yeah, you know,” you explain. “On the prowl for the “type” of guy you think I should be dating, since you know all and see all, oh Great One?”

Harry laughs and kisses your cheek.

“Smart ass,” he giggles, taking your hand. “You’ll see. But yes…you look…” he looks at you again, exhaling slowly, “amazing.”

Guys my age don’t know how to treat me

Don’t know how to treat me

Don’t know how to treat me

Guys my age don’t know how to touch me

Don’t know how to love me good

Guys my age don’t know how to keep me

Don’t know how to keep me

Don’t know how to keep me

Guys my age don’t know how to touch me

Don’t know how to love me good

The two of you walk into the private club that Harry sometimes frequented but you had yet to experience with him.

“Wow, swanky!” you joke, but secretly was impressed by. Harry smiled at you as you follow him, his hand clutched tightly to yours as you weave through people to the table he wanted. After ordering drinks, the two of you look around at the people.

“So where is he, my Mr. Right?” you tease.

“Give it time,” he chortles. “By the end of the evening, you’ll meet him. Trust me. I know.” He laughs at your exaggerated eye roll.

All he ever wanted was to go down

What we supposed to do with all his friends around, yeah

Smoking weed, he’d never wanna leave the house

Got an empty cushion on that sofa now

Told him, “Good luck with the next one.”

Maybe she’ll be just as immature

Gotta thank him, he’s the reason

That I know now what I’m looking for

Harry introduced you to several men throughout your time there, encouraging you to dance with some, talk with others, and mingle through the crowd. You noticed he always stayed near where you were. ‘Safety first’, he joked, but you knew he was serious. Harry had always been protective of you, and secretly you absolutely loved it. You felt safe with him and always loved being where he was.

As the night wore on, you walked away from the last guy you left on the dance floor with very wide eyes, nearly running back toward where Harry was sitting at a nearby table. He laughed the second he saw your expression and placed his arm around your shoulders as you sat next to him, pulling you against him, a sweet kiss to your face.

“You really suck at this, you know?” you nod, taking a long, overdue draw from his glass, yours being empty. He laughed out loud, rubbing his hand up and down your back. “For someone who was just bragging earlier today about always being right, you could have not been more wrong about any of these guys. Oh my god, Harry! They’re horrible!”

“Want to get out of here, then?” he laughs, taking your death-grip hug as his cue to take your hand and lead you back out through the crowd of people to the oxygen-rich outdoors.

As you drive away from the nightclub, you breathe a deep sigh of relief, more than happy to be away from there. The cool night air feels good blowing around you as, after some time, Harry stops somewhere off a road at an overlook, a beautiful view at the lighted city below. He walks around, opening your door and leads the two of you to look at the lights and movement that completely countered the stillness around you now.

“It’s quite a view, isn’t it?” you observe, looking out then looking at Harry, who is looking only at you.

“Yes, it is,” he smiles. “But, I promised you something tonight that I’ve not yet given you.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” you shake your head. “Guess you’re just not always right like you thought,” you giggle, teasingly.

“Oh, but I am,” he laughs.

“How do you figure that?” you ask unbelievingly. “Harry, every last guy you tried to push at me tonight was a total ‘no’! No way, nuh-uh, nada, not gonna happen…”

“Alright, alright,” he continues to laugh, “But I promised you that tonight you would meet the perfect guy for you. I intend to hold to that.”

“Oh, yeah?” you ask, jokingly, looking around the barren land around you both. “Got him hiding behind a rock somewhere, do you?”

Harry smiled at you, grabbing your hands, and stepping closer to you.

“No,” he answers, shaking his head, confidently. Leaning toward you, Harry slowly presses his lips against yours, his tongue lightly tickling your lips, before sliding between them, tasting you more deeply. After a long, sweet kiss, Harry pulls away, looking seriously into your eyes.

“He’s right here in front of you.”

Guys my age don’t know how to treat me

Don’t know how to please me, don’t know how to read me

Guys my age don’t know how to touch me

Don’t know how to love me good

Guys my age don’t know how to tease me

Don’t know how to leave me, don’t know how to need me

Guys my age don’t know how to touch me

Don’t know how to love me good

So I’m never going back

Don’t know, don’t know, don’t know, no, I’m never going back

Don’t know how to touch me, don’t know how to love me good

So I’m never going back, no, I’m never going back

anonymous asked:

Ok, but imagine Cruz finding the hidden engagement ring (?) that Lightning has bought for sally. Now imagine lightning frantically whispering trying his HARDEST to get Cruz to keep quiet about it. ("Cruz! I know you're excited, but you have got to keep it down! this has nothing todo with you!" "It has a lot to do with me! You're my crew chief, this is life changing! You need all the help you can get to get this right mr McQueen!")

“Hey Sally just wondering where would your perfect dream honeymoon take place? hypothetically speaking.”

*Lightning stares at Cruz with a look that could kill*

It has officially been one month since Dralentine’s day! I am super, super excited to reveal to @pottergerms who their secret Dralentine was!! I am so, so, so happy to see that you enjoyed it!! Thank you for all of your kind words and for sharing my work with your lovely followers. Dralentine’s Day was so much fun and I am already looking forward to next year!

Thank you to @dralentines-day for being such a champ! @ourloveislegendrarry @julietsemophase ;)


Summary:

 Harry’s friends are desperate to help find him a date for Valentine’s Day. Considering his growing list of one-night stands, Harry finds himself desperate enough to give almost anyone a shot. When a potential date goes awry, there is only one snake sneaky enough to wrap himself around a love-lost Boy-Who-Lived.


The music was loud.

“Alright there, mate?!”

Sweat dripped down slick skin.

“Do you want another drink?”

There were so many thrumming bodies surging around them it was hard to see where one male ended and another began.

“I said do you want another drink!”

And, much to Harry Potter’s displeasure, his friends had dragged him out with one specific goal in mind.

“What about that guy, Harry?”

To find him a date for Valentine’s Day.

Harry swung his gaze in the direction that Hermione was pointing and felt his mouth twist into a grimace. He shook his head rather adamantly at her, only slightly put-out when she pouted.

“Come on, Harry, you’re not even trying!” Ron said accusingly. “Don’t make me have Charlie drag you over to some random guy—you know I will!”

He groaned. Charlie had acquired a personal interest in making sure Harry was… well looked after… come Valentine’s Day. The bloody tenacious red-head was so damned determined to hook Harry up that he’d willingly left his dragons for an entire week in order to be the ultimate wing-man.

“It’s what you do for an adopted brother,” Charlie had said with a smirk. “You’re the only one left without a partner.”

You’re still single too, you know.”

“Yeah but I’m not looking.” Charlie’s smirk had grown wider. “Perks of being ace, my friend. Besides, you’re getting on in years, you know?”

“I’m only twenty-five!”

And now they were here, two days before the fourteenth of February, in a popular wizarding gay club and rifling through every single male who just happened to be present.

“Is there anyone here that is catching your eye?” Hermione asked, swirling her drink absentmindedly.

“Not really,” Harry replied honestly.

“Well… why don’t you join Charlie on the dance floor?”

Harry gave her a bland look. “Mione, you know I don’t dance.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Two words, Hermione, Yule Ball,” Ron remarked with a cheeky grin. “Harry has no coordination whatsoever—aside from quidditch that is.”

“Exactly,” Harry agreed, nodding. “With little-to-no coordination I’m obviously terrible at sex; it’s probably the reason I keep having so many flings.”

“Probably just a flail of limbs.”

“No rhythm to speak of.”

“Sloppy kisser too, no doubt.”

“Not to mention my atrocious memory when it comes to remembering names.”

“Maybe you should start making them wear nametags?”

“Why not number them while I’m at it.”

Harry and Ron guffawed with laughter much to Hermione’s displeasure.

Honestly, Harry, it’s no wonder you can’t find a date if you’re not even going to be serious about this!”

Smiling patiently, Harry downed a mouthful of his obscenely fruity cocktail Charlie had insisted on getting him. “Mione, we’re in the one place where finding a ‘Mr Right’ is far and few between. Guys come here for anonymous sex and one-night stands. I should know, I’m practically a veteran.”

“You won’t know until you try,” the female replied persistently. “Ooh, looks like Charlie may have found someone.”

Keep reading

Finally (Lin x Reader)

Trigger Warnings: School, Fluff

 

Universe: High School!AU

Description: You are the new teacher in your old high school and meet an old friend.

Words: 1465 (I got a bit carried away…)

Y/N … Your Name

Masterlist

Originally posted by ham4fan-fiction


This is it. Your first day as teacher in your old high school. You smile as the memories of your time here go through your head. You don´t know why, but you always liked the thought of becoming a teacher, so you became one. You walk down the halls and past the lockers. Then, you see the little plaque, which always hung there, saying: Teachers´ Lounge

You step closer to the door and open it. You walk in and go to your table.

“Hi! You must be the new teacher! I´m Lin.”, you hear someone say behind you. You turn around and your eyes meet with big, brown ones. “Y/N? You´re the new teacher?” Lin asks you.

“Lin! Long time, no see! I didn´t know you´re a teacher here!” You laugh and embrace your old high school friend.

He hugs you back. “Yeah… I couldn´t leave this place. Too many memories!”

“That´s the reason I came back, too.” You smile up to him. “So… What´s your subject?,” you ask him after a short silence.

“I´m the English teacher here. And you?”

“I´m the new history teacher.” You answer.

“Of course! What else…,” he trails off.

“What do you mean by that?” you ask him, smirking.

“Well, you WERE the history nerd, back in our times here!” he laughs as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I guess…,” you fake a pout, but soon start laughing with Lin. You don´t notice how all the other teachers look at you with a side-eye.

Two weeks after you came back to your school as teacher, you and Lin sit in your apartment and grade papers. You groan as you come to a particular paper from one of your student. Lin puts his work away and looks at you.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” He asks you, frowning.

“Yeah… It´s just so frustrating! My students never listen, even though they say they listen! But if I give them a bad grade, they think that I don´t like them… I thought this would be easier.” You tell him, putting your head on the table.

Lin stands up and walks over to your side of the table and crouches next to you.

“I know, it´s hard. But if they don´t listen to you, it´s their fault! ,” he tries to encourage you.

Suddenly, he jumps up. You quickly look up to him, his eyes twinkling.

“I have an idea! Remember the project I told you about? The songs about Hamilton? ,” he practically shouts.

You slowly stand up.

“Yeah? What about it?”

“We could teach, with the help of the songs, about the history of Alexander Hamilton! A-And the students could learn them for English! What do you think?!”

You look to the ground and think about it. Slowly, you look at him, with a smile on your face.

“Let´s do it!”

The principal agrees with the idea and soon, Lin and you start to prepare for your next lesson.

“Good morning class!” You walk into your classroom, with the students still talking and texting with different people. The only student who´s not loud, is Grace. She is a very shy girl and sits in the front row. Her brown, straight hair is in a pony-tail. She´s the only one who notices that today, there are two teachers instead of one.

Lin clears his throat loudly and the class goes quiet. You look back to Lin and thank him with a nod. He nods back at you.

You greet the class again, and this time they greet back.

“So, today, Mr. Miranda is going to be here and we´ll combine our subjects today. As some of you know, Mr. Miranda started writing a musical about one of our founding fathers, Alexander Hamilton…” You are interrupted by a student in the back.

“Boring! ,” he yells trough the class and everyone, except Grace, laugh with him.

You ignore the kid and look over your shoulder and meet with Lin´s eyes. His eyes are full of disappointment and he looks to the ground. You turn back to the class and continue explaining the task.

“Where was I? Oh, right! Mr. Miranda wrote a musical, and we´re going to go into different groups, each group will learn a song from the musical and preform it at the end of the week. The group that´s able to sing their song by heart at the end of the week, will get a prize!”

You´re amazed that you´re able to talk without getting interrupted again. Meanwhile, Lin writes a list with the names of the songs he wrote.

“Ok, get in your groups and sit down when you´re done.”

For five minutes it´s very loud in the classroom as the students find partners to sing with. The class grows quiet and the only person left is Grace.

“Grace, you don´t have a group. Should I put you in one? ,” you ask her. Before you can finish the question, the whole class gasps.

Grace sighs: “No, it´s ok… I´ll just sing one by myself.”

“Oh…,” you hesitate, “Ok.”

The bell rings and Lin writes down all the names and the groups.

“It seems like they´re excited!” you smile to Lin on your way to your car.

He bounces up and down.

“It seems like YOU´RE excited!” you laugh and stop in your tracks.

He stops too and starts laughing with you.

“Yeah! I mean, it´s not every day that our students want to sing in front of the whole class!”

You both laugh.

“I think, we´re gonna nail this!”

At the end of the week you get ready for the ´singing contest´ in your classroom.

You notice how all your students quietly sit at their spot, except some of the girls, who try to stifle their giggles.

Lin nudges your side, you look at him and see that excitement, and something you can´t identify, in his eyes.

“Okay class, let´s start with the competition!”

Every group has their turn and the only person left is Grace. She stands up, goes to the front of the class and whispers the song in your ear.

Satisfied

You think it´s the most difficult song in the whole musical and are worried that Grace can´t sing it and that her classmates will make even more fun of her.

Even though you´re worried, you press play and hear the first notes of the song.

You can´t believe what happens next! Grace, the most shy student you´ve ever met, belts the rhymes of the rap out like it depends on her life! And everything is perfect!

After Grace finishes, the whole classroom is quiet.

Then, a boy in the back slowly starts to clap. Soon, the whole class applauds Grace and chants her name. She blushes and makes her way to her seat, but you grab her arm softly and shout through the class.

“I think we have a winner! Congratulations Grace! You´ll get your prize after the lesson.”

She smiles and nods.

“Wait, wait, wait! ,” Lin shouts through the class.

You´re confused and turn towards him.

“What´s wrong?” you ask.

“You can´t announce a winner before all the contestants sang a song. ,” he told you.

You raise your eyebrow as the class starts to giggle.

“But, everyone had his turn already, Lin.” You answer a bit confused.

He doesn´t answer you and only turns on a song from Hamilton, one of your favorite songs. You smile as you hear the first few tones.

Helpless

What you don´t expect, Lin singing to the lyrics.

“Then you walked in and my heart went boom!”

He winks at you and you notice the blush creeping up your face.

“Try ‘in to catch your eye from the Teachers´ Lounge.”

You realize that he changed the text to the song he´s singing and blush even harder, hearing the class rejoice.

“Everybody´s drinking coffee and the radio´s low volume. Laugh about the tests as we wine and dine, grab our colleagues and whisper: Yo, this one´s mine!”

Your eyes turn big at his last sentence and he ends the song.

“So, what do you say Y/N? Would you be the Eliza to my Alexander? ,” he asks you, eyes full of hope.

You just stare at him and you can see his eyes fill with worry. Then, you smirk.

“I´m Helpless! ,” you sing.

He turns to you, picks you up and presses a lingering kiss on your lips. You feel him smile and you have to smile too. Both of you forget about the student around you. A girl in the front row mumbles.

“Finally!”

The whole class erupts in laughter and Lin and you become aware of your surroundings. You end the kiss and stare into each other’s eyes, smiling.

Yes, finally…


A/N: So, my first Lin x Reader fanfic with Teacher!LIN and Teacher!Reader. I hope you liked it. I don´t know what I´m gonna do next, but yeah, I´ll look…

Until next time!

Bye!

Voltage Honest Trailers: Liar

Thanks to all those who gave love to my trailers for Gangsters in Love and Enchanted in the Moonlight! The long wait is finally over! Enjoy this honest trailer!

THIS HONEST TRAILER IS RATED S FOR SPOILERS!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Liar Honest Trailer:

Narrator: From the assholes that brought you games like KBTBB, EITM, and MFW in which men screw you over, comes a NEW Voltage party game where you get your own harem. Only this time…YOU get to screw over MEN!!!

Voltage Fans: What?! A badass MC with a Brain?! What is this sorcerery? 😧

Narrator: I know right?😆

(Slight Beat)

Liar: Uncover the Truth!

(Cue Liar S1 Opening Music)

(Beat)

In a brand new setting, you play as an all new MC.

A stylish, young, tough as nails, city woman in her late twenties who is good at her job and desires to get married.

MC: “My ideal man is out there, and I’m going to find him!“😏

Narrator: Only in reality, she’s a lying, hypocritical slob from the countryside who is wasting her talent to possibly becoming a badass lawyer, cop, or a better detective than Batman, as she tortures herself by working as a wedding planner while she watches left and right as all her co workers get hitched.

Ayumi: “I’m getting married!“😄💍

MC: “What?! YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED?! YOU?! 😱

MC: “It’s really pathetic that I, a wedding planner, is here at a matchmaking party…"😓

Narrator: Following an ugly breakup with her cheating ex boyfriend, MC stands her ground and has her sights set on finding a new man!

…Only to really reveal that she is, in fact, a gold digging thot seeking an oh so perfect man that sounds more glorified than a Gary Stu from a fanfiction.

MC: “I want a man out of college, have an income over 10 million yen, and be five feet over eight inches! I have pretty high standards!"💁🏻

MC: "I’m not gonna settle for anything less than perfection!"😤

Narrator:…Says the country slob…😒

(Beat)

As you follow the guide from a gay fortune teller, you wind up at a matchmaking party where you are told the premise of the game.

Fortuneteller: "You’ll meet 10 men. But only 9 of them are no good liars.”

Narrator: After defying facts like “don’t judge a book by its cover” by turning down two ugly guys, you meet your soon to be victims, LIKE:

Haruichi Mamiya!

The president of the IT company who’s only popular within the Voltage fandom because he’s a kinder version Soryu Oh with glasses as he is secretly affiliated with the mob.

MC: “He’s with the yakuza?!"😨

Narrator: Although says to be conservative, he nearly rapes you while your sleeping in the spring break arc. Complete with an nightmare fuelish image of him slowly removing your clothes.

Haruichi: "Am I the man of your dreams?"😌

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Sotaro Shiga!

The sexy and sexist as fuck bastard surgeon who’s been involved in two marriages.

He’s fits the MCs standards with his high income but can’t seem to get his own shit together.

Sotaro: "I don’t have a wife…who’s going to clean my room?"😭

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Azusa Kurono!

A much cuter version of Ota Kisaki only he himself is a con artist who plays the MC like a violin.

Azusa: "Women are nothing but fake bitches to me!"😂

Narrator: Only after being exposed, he crawls back to you in his route after it is shown that he’s really a broke ass.

Azusa: "Please let me in…I’m cold…"😷

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Keima Katagiri!

A buddy from school who peaked in college who secretly has a gambling addiction.

Keima: "Just five more minutes to turn my luck around!!"😤

Narrator: *Sighs* Aurora James would be proud…😪

(Beat)

Joe Yazawa!

A clearly gay fashion designer who should just date the fortuneteller.

Because while he’s with the MC, all they ever do is talk fashion.

Joe: "You are my muse!"😀

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Itaru Yuikawa!

The apparent "Mr. Right” of the whole game.

Where in reality he is from the countryside like you, used to be ugly and unattractive, and spent a whole DECADE to change his life just so he can be the glorified man you always wanted.

Itaru: “I’ve become everything that you wanted me to be!"😄

MC: He changed his entire self for me?! What a liar!!😒

Narrator: Are you REALLY talking?!😠😧

(Slight Beat)

Kazumi Kagami!

The "liar” who was called out for being a liar for NO reason as the MC made false accusations of drug use.

Kazumi is the only man who is able to see through the MCs scheming and snooping ways.

Kazumi: “I know why you’re really here…"😏

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: Other potential liars include:

Toya Kashi

The pastry chef who should have starred in the movie: Anger Management.

Kunio Muroi!

The dipshit who hates women with Taylor Swift bodies.


And Shuto Matsuki!

The so called World famous soccer player who couldn’t make it into FIFA and has a disturbing incestuous relationship with his mama.


(Slight Beat)

Man that was a long listing…you guys still with me?

(Beat)

So smuggle some coins…waste your tickets, receive bad flirting advice from a thot bunny, and learn obvious life skills, beauty hacks, and common sense for women like you who struggle with life in their 20’s as you navigate through the silly chess map of an RPG, doing insane things LIKE:

Invasion of Privacy:

Liar Bunny: "Look through his bag! He could be a liar!"😤

Narrator: Stalking your crush on Instagram:

MC: "Time to do some snooping! Er…I mean, Investigating!😅”

Narrator: AND, sadistically watch as your lying victim pees their pants in the Phoenix Wright portion of the game.

Shizuo: “I’m-I’m not cheating on you!"😰

Narrator: And afterwards, play through the possible endings LIKE:

The Ending with the tragic backstory(True End):

Toya: "You cheated on ME while I was gone?!"😡

Narrator: The Ending where you suck the liars dick(Love End):

MC:"I’ll never love a mammas boy like y-!"😠

Shuto: "Let’s go to Italy!"😄

MC: "Okay!"😍

Narrator: The Ending that you instantly and sadistically watch right after you expose the liar just to feel satisfied(Scumbag End):

Woman: "You bastard!! I want a divorce!"😡

Kunio: "Oh shit…"😰

Narrator: The Ending where you can get stalked(Secret End):

Joe: "It’s Nanami! I’ve got her in my sights!"😍

Narrator: And of course the Free Bad Ending where you’re screwed over into possible debt, death, rape, kidnapping, or jail time…


(Slight Beat)

…But don’t worry, if you’re fed up with the gold digging MC, then play as the all new MC in…

(Cue Liar S2 Opening Music)

Liar: Office Deception!

A tale of stereotypical office scandals where you play as a not-so-fake, bisexual, and naturally prettier MC, who ACTUALLY keeps her room clean! And doesn’t lie about her private life.

And even with a much sexier and realistic cast, absolutely NONE of them get a lovers route because Voltage and their greedy asses still fails to give us the good shit we ask for!

(Slight Beat)

In this story, after finding out that your bff is sleeping with your loser boyfriend, you are rewarded by being sent to a team of sexy dumbasses where you become their leader to lead the team to victory!

Throughout the game, where you have to scope out both male AND female liars to find the perfect partner, you are forced to deal with things, LIKE:

😑ffice Gossip:


Female Employee: "Did Mr. Minami just say he was obsessed with her butt?"😓


Narrator: 😁ffice Harrassment!


MC: "Could you please take your hand off my butt?"😓


Narrator: And of course…😅ffice Deception:


MC: "You’re a boy aren’t you?! You lied to me to get info from the company!"😤

(Slight Beat)

Narrator: And no, before you ask, you CANNOT romance the girls!😤

Seriously, stop asking. Voltage Japan doesn’t give us what we want you know…😒


But hey, at least we are getting a Voltage anime and manga series soon, right?😃

(Beat)

STARRING:

"Harry Styles”(Azusa)🎸

“Greys in Anime”(Sotaro)😷

“Soryu Ichinomiya”(Haruchi)💸

“Cake Boss”(Toya)🎂

“Incestuous FIFA Star”(Shuto)⚽️

“The Real Scumbag”(Kunio)👹

“Poker Face”(Keima)🃏

“Cover Boy”(Joe)💄

“Writer of: The Liar Games”(Kazumi)📖

“The Perfect Match for the Perfect Liar”(Itaru)🎭

“Caitlyn Jenner”(May)👩🏻/👦🏻

“(NOT) Yusei Fudo”(Yusei)🔩

“Harry Potter”(Kohei)👓

“Follow me on Instagram!”(Shiori)📲

“90s Lesbi Barbie”(Reina)💋

“I’m Blue!(And lazy!)” (Minoru)😪

“Thirsty in my 30s”(Daikichi)💦

“Bieber-Stealer-Fever”(Guy)😈

“Lonely Virgin”(Chisa)😔

“BETTER than Itaru!”(Keisuke)😉

“Sakura-HOE”(Sakurako)🍑

“A”(Ayumi)💁🏻


"The WORST Flirting Guide Ever!”(Liar Bunny)🐰


…AND


“Pretty Little Liars” (The MCs)💄


(Slight Beat)


LAW and LIARS…





Hey! Here’s a fun game! Take a shot every time someone in the game says liar! 😆🍷

MC: Liar!😾

MC: Liars and cheats!😑

MC: Are they all liars?!😧

MC: These liars don’t stand a chance!😉

Kunio: You are such a liar!😒

Narrator: Nevermind…you’ll probably end up in the hospital…😓

But hey, at least you’ll get to see Sotaro!😃

Follow and comment if you want more honest trailers!

anonymous asked:

There is nothing that 80+ year old ass hole can say that would move me against my love for Sam/Cait. It was Caitriona Balfe who broke my "Faith" -- in all these years. "A Broken Vow." The Josh Groban cover has been playing in my house of late. Forget Shatner. His misogynistic days are numbered. The feminists have taken an interest in his Fandom antics toward women. Just give it time.

So I took the kids to have Sushi for lunch. Before you get all jelly, good sushi in this shithole town is a fairytale. It’s good enough. It’s all I’ve got. I eat it and consider myself lucky to have at least this sushi-like sushi available. Anywho….

I ordered a spicy tuna roll, add cucumber. I like a bit of crunch to the roll. Can’t stomach a wad of mushy in my mouth. Adding cucumber makes it palatable. I get down to my last piece and notice an odd white-ish stringy thing dangling from it. 😳

Immediately, of course, my brain is screaming “WORM! ABORT! VOMIT!”

I manage to keep my shit together externally as I remove the suspicious item and begin to prod it for identification purposes. After a minute or so, the three of us come to the conclusion that it is simply a shred of limp cucumber.

It was too late, though. The damage was done. My appetite lost. There was no overriding the initial impression of “WORM” in my mind. The adrenaline of fear had created a foul association and no amount of logic and understanding could bring me to consume and enjoy the consumption of now questionable sushi.

You know where this is going right?

I’m afraid Mr Heughan has become a bit of limp cucumber in my Outlander sushi lunch and I just cannot unsee the worm I saw the first time I ever looked at his IG and saw him toss a blonde bimbo in a pool.

I know everyone says he’s such a nice and genuine and sincere guy, a strong and crisp and unwavering matchsticked cucumber, but every time I pick up the sushi I see a sad limp excuse for a cucumber that maybe could be, but it could also be a worm.

I realize it’s probably just the unfortunate consequences of fame that are out of his control that have macerated him to the point he has lost the ability to stand tall and maintain crispness, but I just can’t get beyond that unappetizing appearance. I’ve been trying so hard! Is it a worm? Is it a cucumber? I don’t fucking know!

It’s going to be a long time before I try the sushi again.

Fanfic Rec: 00Q

I was sorting the list of fics that I have read and love, and it seems that I have enough to make a list for these two idiots! It wasn’t that long ago when I started reading for this fandom. I wasn’t a big fan of Bond movies, I’ve watched a few movies here and there, but when I read my first 00Q fic my mind said, “It works. They work. How could you not notice it, idiot.” And the rest is history! 

Anyway, as much as I love to tell what was my experience in finding this amazing pair, here is my list! Some of them will be a crossover with another fandom, but it doesn’t make the fics worse. 


Remember Me by Jen (ConsultingWriters) [Words: 5,667 | Teens and Up Audiences]
Bond has lost his memory. Q has lost his love.
“What have I forgotten?” Bond asked; Q watched him, trying to find the James he knew.
“Nothing that you won’t work out on your own, if it’s really important,” Q said carefully, before returning every fraction of his attention to the computer in front of him.

Denominations by WriteThroughTheNight [Words: 29,689 | Teens and Up Audiences]
"Q confirms that he’s an Empath three months before his first day of primary school, and the deciding of Denominations that comes with it.”
OR
Q is smarter than anyone gives him credit for, and an Empath to boot.

Forsaken by Chestnut_NOLA [Words: 50,080 | Explicit]
Wounded and betrayed, 007 is found by a mysterious young man in the woods. Who is Q? Can James trust the man enough to heal and help him find the traitors within MI6?

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by feelslikefire [Words: 66,236 | Explicit]
What followed was the most bizarre courtship Q had ever—well, heard of, certainly. He didn’t have much to compare it to, but Moneypenny confirmed that normal people didn’t flirt like this. Not that he was normal. Not that any of them were.
Or: Q has a past, a cat, and a dangerous new boyfriend. Two of these things keep him up nights, the other pees in a box.

the sheer lack of professionalism by scioscribe [Words: 1,945 | General Audiences]
Q rolled his eyes. “Oh, there are just bloody wheels within wheels to it, aren’t there, this kidnapping business? Really, you should give it up. You’re not cut out for it. Think about it, your first time out, and you pinch a national intelligence treasure and ask his MI6 boyfriend for ransom. It isn’t very promising, is it?”

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle by KatsatheGraceling [Words: 22,751 | Mature]
Prompt: Could you do one where Q and James go to meet Sherlock and John for some reason, and then when they get back to Q branch James says something about how Q doesn’t need to be so worried about Sherlock safety since he happens to be living with an assassin (John) who seems to be looking out for him. And Q is all like WHAT!!!! — Esperanza
Or, the one where John is a BAMF assassin. With an affinity for cuddly warm jumpers.

Before it Breaks by KatsatheGraceling [Words: 13,453 | Mature]
Prompt: I have a prompt for you: Bond (Ace/GrAce/Straight) is given the mission to seduce a very MALE college student (Q) who has been making trouble for MI6 and dead set against joining. Downtime, top secret, paper only mission. A few years later, Q finds out that their relationship was/is (just) a mission… happy or sad ending up to you.
Excerpt: Everything revolved around the boy in the kitchen; every thought, every decision. Everything Bond said or did had to be carefully filtered and thought through; a game of chess that he never wanted to play in the first place. His entire routine had been shifted, and he hated it. 

If an Agent Asks for a Favour… by KatsatheGraceling [Words: 10,444 | Teens and Up Audiences]
Prompt: Mycroft’s minions alert him that John is stealthily entering MI6. John and James covered each other’s asses once and have been friends ever since. Mycroft calls upon his brother Q to find out what they’re up to. Bondlock crossover. - Sunny
Or in which John is a BAMF and Mycroft likes to snoop (more than usual).
Established Johnlock and eventual 00Q.

In Name Only by BootsnBlossoms, Kryptaria [Words: 84,449 | Explicit]
Beyond the world of BDSM clubs and fetish communities lies the Marketplace — a secret society of consensual slavery and service.
During an MI6 investigation into black market sales of Ministry of Defence assets, James Bond discovers what he believes to be a human trafficking ring called the Marketplace. He infiltrates the organisation as a buyer, but remains focused on his goal: follow the money trail.
On a private Marketplace cruise, one slave for auction catches Bond by surprise. Q is brilliant, ethereally beautiful, and vulnerable. Bond is instantly drawn to him, and he resolves to take down the Marketplace and rescue Q. What Bond doesn’t realise, though, is that Q is right where he wants to be.

The Courtship of Mr. Bond by marlowe_tops [Words: 29,669 | Explicit]
In which Bond is a retired naval commander with too much house, Q is a mechanical engineer with too many sisters, and they have lengthy conversations about decorum, bonnet-ribbons and philosophy in Regency England.   
~
“I just thought you might go pay a visit,“ his mother suggested.
“Me?” Q asked, aghast. “Pay a visit?”
“He must be starved for proper gentleman company, now that he’s settled in so far from London–”
“I am far from proper gentleman company.”
“–and perhaps if you befriended him he could introduce you to some nice heiresses.”
“Heiresses?” Q repeated, baffled and horrified. “What in the world would I do with heiresses?”

Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth [Words: 118,363 | Mature]
Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed
Enter MI6’s new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don’t always mix in predictable ways…


And there it is! I still have more, but let me save that for the part two, yes? Enjoy!

The Man Behind The Mask

A/N: I wrote this about a year ago for Wattpad and I’ve decided it belongs on Tumblr Description: What happens when you meet Warning: None
Word count: 1.5k


Y/N’s PoV
~~~~~~~~~~

I stood near the door at Lex Luther’s party, suddenly everyone’s heads turned to the entrance as the sound of camera flashes filled the air. An older handsome guy in a rich suit stepped out the black car. “Who’s that?” I asked my friend Jennifer who I came with.

“You seriously need to get out more, miss reporter that’s Bruce Wayne.” Jennifer told me as I admired his good looks.

~some time later ~

“Ok I’m getting tired should we go?” I complained to Jen.

“You haven’t interviewed anyone other than Lex Luther.”

“But Clark is here, so he’s is already interviewing people. What’s the point of having everything twice?”

“You know we can go. If you interview Bruce Wayne.”

“What? No.”

“F/N I’ve seen you eyeing him since the moment he walked in, just talk to him.”

“How do I even start?”

“Just introduce yourself and ask for an interview or something, I don’t know… Wait it looks like you won’t have to he’s coming over.”

“Wait what?”

“Bye.”

“Bye I guess.” I said as Jennifer walked away and Bruce Wayne started to approach me.

“Hello I’m Bruce Wayne.” He said with his deep charming voice.

“Nice to meet you Mr Wayne, my name is f/n l/n.”

“Pleasures mine Miss l/n.”

~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce’s PoV
~~~~~~~~~~

“Alfred she drove off with the drive.” I said through the secret mic.

“There’s nothing you can do now. Go socialise, maybe you’ll bring someone home. Again in your dreams Alfred.” Alfred said threw the earpiece trailing off like he walked away from the mic after saying Go socialise. I looked around and noticed a stunning young woman standing in the corner with who I persumed was her friend.

~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N’s PoV
~~~~~~~~~~
“Mr Wayne I’ve actually wanted to approach you and ask you some questions.” I started, making Bruce roll his eyes.

“Can’t have a normal conversation with anyone here can you? Everyone is a damn reporter.”

“I’m sorry Mr Wayne, I bet you have been asked a million questions today. Truly I’m tired so if you don’t want another exact same article written than just refuse.”

“Well then, I refuse.”

“Very well Mr Wayne, thank you for saving me from more writing.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smirked. “So you’re a reporter?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Well you’re the kindest reporter I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you Mr Wayne.”

“Bruce”

“I’m sorry?”

“Bruce call me Bruce.

“Well ok then Bruce how come you left Gotham for once?” I said exaggerating the Bruce.

“I got invited here.”

“Well that’s a good enough reason” I said, our conversation then became random as we talked I could see Jen chatting up some guy across the room. I got a text and quickly checked my phone. ‘Jen: Looks like you two are hitting it off. This guy is taking me home see you. Have fun :p’ I smirked to myself after reading the message.

“What’s so funny?” Bruce asked approaching me with two martinis in his hands.

“Nothing just a text from my friend.” I replied.

“Okay, here you go.” He said handing me a glass.

“Oh Bruce I can’t.” I said apologetically.

“Why?” He asked.

“I need to drive home.” I explained.

“One drink won’t hurt.”

“I guess.” I said before taking a sip.

“May I have this dance?” Bruce asked when the song changed. We danced for what seemed like forever after the first song we sort of just hugged swaying from side to side along with the slow music, each of us drink in hand. I realised I was still on that first martini while Bruce was now drinking scotch and soda, I was unable to keep track of how many drinks he already had and when I let go of him saying I need to go to the bathroom I realised he was struggling to stand on his own. When I came back I found Bruce leaning on the wall for support.

“Hey Bruce I’m gonna go home because I have work tomorrow in the morning and it’s already one so I’ll be able to have at least four hours of sleep before work. But I had fun tonight, thank you for making this party enjoyable.” I explained.

“Why don’t I go home with you?” Drunk Bruce said slowly.

“Bruce I don’t think that’s a good- actually ok.” I said leading Bruce to my car.


I woke up and checked the time “shit” I said under my breath when I realised the time was 8:15 and I start work at 9 am. I must of forgot to turn my alarm on, I got up and Bruce? Why is Bruce here? Then it all came flooding back to me, the party and how drunk Bruce Wayne got. I crept round my house making myself breakfast and taking a shower. As I was getting ready to walk out I dropped my phone on the floor and said rather loudly “Shit.” Then next thing I heard was a moan. Great I woke him up I thought, my plan was to leave him here with a note telling him to show his way out when he wakes up but he was already awake.

“Where am I?” He moaned.

“You Mr Wayne, are right now on my couch.” I said in quite a cocky voice.

“Y/N right?” Bruce asked.

“Yes. Now I need to leave to work. There’s aspirin in the bathroom on the side, its quite obvious, take some for your headache and show your self out.”

“So what you’re leaving me here? All alone.”

“ Yes Bruce we are not all millionaires.”

“Very funny.”

“I’d like to think so,” I said sarcastically. “Okay I need to go, help your self to food ect. Bye” I said before rushing out the door. I felt quite wired leaving a topless Bruce Wayne all alone in my house, to be honest I had a small crush on him, I mean it is Bruce Wayne. But he’s just a playboy that’s stayed out of the spotlight for the past fifteen years or so.

~

I was writing a article when one of my best friends Lois Lane came up to me.

“What’s up?” I said turning round in my chair to face her.

“A little birdy told me you went home with someone last night.”

“And who would say that?” I asked her.

“Um someone who was at the party.” Clark said after he came over and hugged Lois from the back.

“Clark.” I moaned.

“What, it’s true you went home with someone.” Clark said.

“Yes, but it’s not what you think.” I tried to explain myself.

“Then what is it?” Lois asked.

“The guy got drunk so I simply took him to mine and let him sleep on my couch so he doesn’t have a car accident.” I explained.

“Well that’s boring.” Lois stated.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have a perfect life with my boyfriend who’s super awesome.” I said with emphasis and they both gave me a look saying shut up.

“So you’re saying me you aren’t planning on seeing him again, I mean it’s Bruce Wayne.”

“Yay, the old but still hot millionaire playboy.” I said sarcastically.

“Admit it you like him.” Lois said as Clark turned around and started talking to someone else.

“Maybe, but he probably doesn’t remember my name by now. Anyway how’s you two?”

“Good, never better I gues.” Lois simply said.

“Y/N this is for you.” A co-worker said handing me a envelope. I was confused, it was fancy and I don’t remember the last time I got a letter.

“That looks fancy.” Lois said.

“I know.” I said starting to open the letter.

“What does it say?” Clark said as he turned around.

“Really the both of you are acting like teen girls.”

“I don’t think that’s what it says.” Lois said.

“Fine it says: Y/N, I had a great time last night. Sorry i got drunk and thank-you for saving me from what probably would be a car crash and letting me sleep on your couch. I would like to return the favour by taking you out to dinner. My car will be waiting outside for you when you finish work. If you don’t want to join me for dinner please just tell my driver. -B.Wayne”

“So are you gonna go?” Lois asked.

“I don’t know.” I said even though I wanted to say yes.

“Come on, you have to.” Clark said like a teen girl.

“Fine, if it will make you happy.” I said.

“So I’m guessing the papers will be blank tomorrow seeing that the three of you are gossiping.” Perry White said.

“Sorry Mr White.” We said almost in sync.

~

I walked out the building and saw a black car. I approached it and the black window rolled down revealing Bruce in a dark blue suite.

“Care to join me? He asked.

Part 2

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