where i question myself


Marksandrec’s Super Dooper Popcorn Party #293

(In my head, it’s like a cactus-creature. It moves. For, y’know, context.) (Dialogue from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.)

call it poetry –

the 150 patchwork characters above your instagram photos and below your profile picture; the 650 words you bled into your common app essay, baptized by midnight tears and shaky fingers on backlit keyboards; the 2 am text you sent your friend when she was sad, which read more like a love song than any top 50 hit; the scribbled words you placed among doodles and integrals on the back of your math test, the ones you almost hesitated to erase before you turned it in. 

call it art –  

that photo of your best friend laughing, even though it’s blurry and his left hand is out of frame; those pancakes, the ones the man at the other booth smirked at you for admiring before eating, laughing harshly before returning to his bitter coffee and significantly underappreciated waffles; the sunsets and sunrises that fill your photo stream, reminders that yesterday was beautiful and tomorrow might be too; the photo of yourself that you can’t decide if you quite like, but can’t delete either, your finger nervously hovering above it. post it. 

call it music –

the laughter of your friends from the other room that makes you smile, even though you missed the joke; the sound of your turn signal clicking, melting into the patter of raindrops on the windshield’s glass; the whistle of the summer wind outside of your old bedroom, the one that promised fairytales and twisters in sleepless childhood nights; the rhythm of your shoes in the empty hallway, reverberating with the sound of your arrival.

it is poetry.

it is art.

it is music. 

it is you.

I often find myself wondering if Jake is okay :/
(ALSO, @richardgoranski Because i legitimately just saw you would love to be tagged in BMC art in general, so here ya go buddy) 


Okay, I’ve set up an AO3 for buckykingofmemes, which can be found here, at


Right now, all the Q&As from Bucky are under the title “Uphill Both Ways In The Snow,” but probably I’ll eventually split stories into their own fic and remove them from that one, but for now, it’s all bundled into one. 

The other fic is the Tony finding Bucky’s blog one. 

I keep thinking about Sense8 (duh) and how the excuse for its cancellation was apparently the “lack of views”. Like how can you do that after less than a month after you released the 2nd season (with no promo whatsoever may I add). Furthermore, what do views bring Netflix since they’re not like other networks who don’t rely on subscriptions… like. If a person is paying $10 a month so she can only watch reruns of The Office, they’re still getting their money at the end. It’s a streaming service ffs, they just want their original shows to be popular and do well right ? If they wanted Sense8 to be MORE popular then why not just promote it a little more. The fandom already did pretty much 90% of the job anyway so … I just. I don’t get it. What went wrong ? Why does it feel like Netflix wanted it to fail in the first place ? This all seems super fishy to me and I feel like there’s a story there that even the actors don’t know about (cuz Brian said it was become og the views etc). Ughhh. I guesd it’s one of those days where I’m just asking myself questions to which I know I will never get the answers.

for 2015:

  • learn to unapologetically say no.
  • read, read, read, read. read
  • write more. write about everything.
  • stop slouching. keep ur chin up
  • pick up your camera again
  • tell more stories 
  • keep ur skin moisturized
  • appreciate every square centimeter of ur body
  • don’t give a shit about what others think of u
  • be patient. be thankful. 
  • life is not a competition. stop treating it like one.
  • have more solo dance parties in ur room
Your Fav is Problematic : George Blagden
  • ships Enjoltaire more than you
  • can speak French
  • “does France have the same moon?”
  • can’t draw hearts
  • is a menace
  • pls somebody arrest him I need a break


blackwatch was the most interesting thing about overwatch

blizzard i need more ex-blackwatch agents please who were they where are they what could they do p l e a s e

i need a five part mini-series stat give me all the dirt

anonymous asked:

hi ! i read through all your fic recs and i was hoping you might have some more ? i don't read smut myself, so i really like the ones you rec ^^

omg hi, sweetpea!! but yes, i do have some new recs in my likes that i haven’t been able to add to my recs page! also, thank you for giving me another reason to procrastinate from midterm studying, much love ♡

♣︎ blazing arrows by @daddychiminie

[ jimin x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst, future smut | supernatural au ]

part one. part two. part three. to be continued.

it’s a cupid au, and i really enjoy it so far. jimin is cupid and made a mistake by hitting you with an arrow, so he comes down to fix it, and i just really enjoy the playful bantering between the reader and jimin, and it’s so cute. the grocery scene is really adorable in part two, and i laughed way too hard at the magazine incident and the cart scene, oh god, i just really want a boyfriend to do that with me after reading that. AND I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU POSTED PART THREE SO BE RIGHT BACK, GOING TO READ THAT NOW.

edit: okay i have finished reading part three, and i’m on the floor from all the feels. i have never felt anything for jimin before, but gosh darn it, this is desperately making me want a hug from him. 

♣︎ the thing about love by @zephyoongist

[ taehyung x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst | college au ]


I’M STILL SO SALTY OVER THIS, PABLO. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. but anyway, it’s still so very beautifully written and i cry, why do you do this to me and my poor, nonexistent heart?? taehyung is such a angelic and godly human being, he doesn’t deserve this.

♣︎ why people fall in love by @zephyoongist

[ jungkook x reader | fluff | friends with benefits / fake dating au ]


because anything and everything fae writes is magical and wonderful even though she does annoy me about jungcocky all the time. i remember reading this a long time ago, and i said she wasn’t going to love him back, and then you yelled at me. good times.

♣︎ love in colors by @lushguk

[ taehyung x reader | angst, fluff | soulmate / reincarnation au ]


gosh, i love mel so much, and her writing is so so breath taking. this is one of my absolute favorites because art and taehyung? my two passions lmao. i remember throwing my bunny plushie in frustration and then apologizing to it after i read the airport scene.

♣︎ the first and last of us by @lushguk

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut, angst | childhood bestfriends au ]


let me just lay here and die from the overwhelming amount of emotions i felt after reading this. mel has completely wrecked me with this, and her writing gives such a nostalgic and melancholic feeling that left me wanting to cry a waterfall. i’m pretty sure i screamed about this scenario to her too much.

♣︎ the pistol star by @kairoseok

[ jungkook x reader feat. hoseok | angst, fluff | supernatural au ]


this is a combination of astrology and beautiful beings, and i’m so in awe over this. just the way it was written and how every detail was crafted so intricately had me reading and rereading this scenario over and over again. her writing is really quite phenomenal and unique.

♣︎ 2 assholes play cards against humanity by @cosykims

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | youtuber au ]


because i love cards against humanity and because this is hilarious and cute and i love it. and also because her photoshopping skills for yoongi’s channel is incredible. and i rec her hogwarts!bts bulletpoint scenarios too!! i think i recced them before, but i gotta do it again because they’re amazing and i’m still in love with them.

♣︎ caffeine, crimson cheeks, and cashiers by @cinnaminsvga

[ taehyung x reader | fluff | college au ]


because i love fluff and happy endings, and tae is the cutest, and i can relate to this scenario on so many levels right now. “to noodle or not to noodle, that is the question” is too real. i’m questioning myself that at this very moment. where can i shop to get a cute cashier!tae to ring me up with a date??

 ♣︎ i want to kiss you (i know it’s 2 am) by @1rapmon

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | slice of life au ]


i honestly lost track of how many times i read this scenario because it’s so amazing and shows the dynamics of their relationship so wonderfully. gosh, the dialogue is so great, and i found myself smiling the entire time whilst reading this. del my soft and radiant goddess, ily to the moon and back.

♣︎ the countdown by @dreamscript

[ taehyung x reader feat. yoongi | fluff | slice of life au ]


taehyung is overdramatic, you’re amused, and yoongi is just so done with everything. oh, and throw in a dying confession. this scenario holds such a special place in my heart, and ily, rys, the other half of #rat and all hail rysism. rys writes my favoritest scenarios that have the best mix between fluff and comedy.

♣︎ in watercolor by @annyeongs

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut | photographer au ]


i love love loooove mia, the prettiest babe in the universe!! i also love love loooove her writing and how everything she types is so poetic and lovely and makes me feel happy. in this scenario, the reader is called art by yoongi, and yoongi is actual art, but mia is the true masterpiece here.

anonymous asked:

I really want to become a Hellenic polytheist but I'm honestly a little overwhelmed when it comes to figuring out where to start.

I understand!

Seriously, I have asked myself the question so many times of, “If I could go back in time and tell my younger self how to make my journey into Hellenism easier, what would I say?” And the thing is, I’ve got good news and bad news for you. And they’re the same thing.

There is no set path for conversion in Hellenism. There’s no agreed upon starting point, and there aren’t specific things you need to learn first. That can make it very difficult to figure out where to start. It also means that you can focus on the areas that interest you and that you feel will benefit you the most.

My suggestion is usually to start by learning about the Pillars of Hellenism/Pillars of Hellenismos. These are the core concepts which help shape and define our worship as Hellenic polytheists. They’re basically the rules behind Hellenism. Now, not everyone uses the same set of pillars, not everyone agrees on all the same concepts as pillars, and everyone is going to put different pillars as more important concepts within their own lives and worship. And that’s okay. For instance, xenia and sophia are super important to me, but other people may put more emphasis on hagenia. I do have some posts that go into detail about some of the different pillars if you’re interested:

The other area that I see people start with a lot is altars and offerings, the meat and bones of worship basically. And that’s a good way to dive right into worship, but not everyone is comfortable starting to worship until they have a better understanding of the faith, and that’s okay too. Don’t worry about trying to learn everything though before you start worshiping–there are days when I still learn new things. If you’re waiting until you know everything in order to start giving worship, then you’re going to be waiting a lifetime. Here are my posts on offerings and altars and stuff:

I have plenty more sources if you want, and if you want to come talk to me I would be more than happy to help you figure out where you personally can start. My ask box is always open, and I am here to help.

I’m scared.What if I’m never gonna get over you? What if five years from now, I’m still wishing for you to come back? What if every night whether its 2 or 3 AM, I’m still questioning myself; “Where did I go wrong this time?” Ever since you left, I see you in every little things. I remember how you love kids so much that every time I met one, they remind me of you. I remember you every time I saw your favourite TV shows, your favourite food, or things that you dislike the most. At first it made me smile. But then I remember that everything’s over. We’re over. I can no longer hear you talk about your day. I can no longer see the spark in your eyes every time you talk about the things that you’re passionate about. I can no longer hear your rants, your laughter, everything about you, I just don’t have it anymore. And it hits me. It hits me hard that I could feel the lump in my throat as well as the pain in my chest which would usually bring me to tears.  I’m weak, indeed. You see, it was never easy for me to let go.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1179 // @bynoire on Instagram
Live Life Golden Part 12

Jungkook x reader

Warnings: strong language

Words: 2334

{ Previous } { Next }


He was a graduate of the elite class, inherited billions from his father, and lived the life of an international playboy. (y/n) came into his life and made him question it all.


Keep reading

Is Your God Dead?
Building walls, banning refugees and ignoring the poor are the social expressions of bankrupt theologies.
By George Yancy

“Any god who is mine but not yours, any god concerned with me but not with you, is an idol,” Heschel writes. Think of segregated white churches during Jim Crow, or the many churches today, in our “post-racial” moment, that continue to be de facto segregated every Sunday morning. Think, too, of the blood that has been spilled in the name of the God we claim as our own. You have all heard the underpinnings of this idolatry: “God Bless America,” which I see as the words of a bankrupt neoliberal theology. In fact, there is something profane in that statement, which worships and calls upon a God that blesses America only.

…In fact, I would ask, what if [our] tranquility, [our] peace of mind, rests on the rotting corpses beneath our feet? What if as we pray and rejoice in our churches, synagogues and mosques, we are throwing handfuls of dirt on God’s casket? After all, prayer and rejoicing can also function as forms of narcissism, as ways to drown out the screams of the poor, the oppressed. In a story shared by Heschel’s daughter, Susannah, she writes that he found praying during the Vietnam War impossible, but necessary to demonstrate. “Whenever I open my prayer book,” he told a journalist, “I see before me images of children burning from napalm.”

Heschel writes, “The prophet’s word is a scream in the night.” I wait to be awakened by that scream. I have not yet heard it. It is that scream, that deep existential lament, that will awaken us to the ways we are guilty of claiming to “love God” while forgetting the poor, refusing the refugee, building walls, banning the stranger, and praying and worshiping in insular and segregated “sacred” spaces filled with racism, sexism, patriarchy, xenophobia, homophobia and indifference.

…In 1968, in conversation with King, Heschel asked, “Where does God dwell in America today?” I ask myself this question today. But I do not find the answer. Heschel also asks, “Where does moral religious leadership in America come from today?” I look, but I have not seen it. Perhaps, like Diogenes the Cynic, you’ll find me carrying a lamp in the daytime. But instead of looking for an honest man, I will be looking through the catacombs of your own making, asking, “Is your God dead?”

We All Fall Down - Twelve

Emily drove which made perfect sense as she had the larger car and also knew the way. She chatted as she navigated the roads, disrupting you from gazing out of the windows at the scenery.

“So I had a look in your pantry and you pretty much need everything. Diana has kinda lived on take out and anything I would  bring over for her during this last year, which given the circumstances is completely understandable.” You agreed and nodded as Emily continued. “I’d say your safest bet is to literally start from scratch and get all of your pantry staples today as well as some stuff to stock the fridge. Defrost the freezer overnight ready to throw out for the trash collection and we can go fill the freezer during the week. But we can get you plenty of fresh stuff today that’ll last awhile, at least then you’ll be able to cook.”

You wrinkled your nose up slightly and she clocked it.

“Not a big cook then?”

You shook your head. “I never really learned how to. I can put stuff in the oven to heat it up but… Cooking from scratch? I’d probably poison us.”

“What about Spencer, does he cook?”

“Not really.” You’d always got the impression from him that he was disappointed in your inability to piece together a meal from scratch, relying mainly on takeout or if you weren’t hungry, leaving him to own devices. Perhaps this could be something else you could change. You went out on a sudden limb. “I think I’d like to learn though.”

“Cooking is a invaluable skill. I can lend you easy to follow recipe books if you’d like. There’s a great number of websites too, I could send you… actually no I couldn’t because you’re stuck in the dark ages and don’t have a phone.”

You laughed at her comment and pulled your cell out of from your bag, waving it at her. “Hey, I was only stuck in the dark ages momentarily. I saw the light yesterday and now have a phone. And a new car actually.”

“Someone’s breaking the bank, a new phone AND a new car in one day?” she joked.

“Well it was Spencer who paid, not that I could if I even wanted to.”

“I take it you don’t work then?” Emily asked, her voice steady and unjudgemental.

“It’s a long story,” you sighed. She reached over and patted your knee lightly.

“Perhaps one that you’ll tell me sometime.”

Emily led you around the store, you slightly in awe at how big it was. Sure in New York you had huge department stores but the atmosphere in them was always different. Like everyone was in a hurry and that no one wanted to stop and talk. This target was bigger than the ones you’d been in when you were younger but yet it felt friendly, Emily receiving many nods and hellos as you both pushed your shopping carts through the aisles, Emily instructing you what to buy as she idly chatted at you. You dawdled in the stationary section, seeing some fancy looking binders with their spines designed to look like old books. Having a surge of inspiration you tossed a few into the cart, throwing in some sheet protectors as well. As you rounded the corner of the aisle to catch up with Emily, you crashed your cart into a solid mass of person, you letting out a curse.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you muttered, reversing yourself and repositioning the cart.


You looked up to see yesterday’s saviour with a light smirk on his face.

“Mr Alvez… I mean Luke! Hi! Sorry about that….”

“Hey it’s cool, it’s cool. It’s not you hit me with your car or anything, I’ll live. Did you drive here? I’m not going to have to rescue you again from the parking lot am I?” he teased you and for the first time in years you felt your cheeks burn.

“No I’m here with my neighbour… Emily?”

As if summoned by magic she reappeared, searching for you.

“There you are! I thought I’d lost you forever to the stationary stores. Oh hey Luke, have you two met properly?” she looked between you both, waiting.

“Yeah we have,” you told her. “Luke rescued me yesterday on my first solo drive in years.”

“And she repays me by ramming her shopping cart into my stomach,” he grinned.

Emily nudged him playfully. “Oh shut it now Alvez, those abs of yours can take it I’m sure.”

“Well I think I’ll survive. Anyway, nice seeing you again Y/N. I’m off to pillage the stationary section now, gotta restock before school starts tomorrow.” Giving you another huge grin, he wheeled his own cart away.

“So he rescued you yesterday?” Emily asked curiously.

“I got stuck in a parking space near the tech store in town,” you explained.

“And Luke was your knight in shining armour. Well, there are worse knights to have in this town. He’s a good guy and his cousin Penelope is a right sweetheart.”

“The tech shop girl?” you asked, remembering your curiosity from yesterday.

“That’s her. Now come on, we still have plenty more to get.”

You followed Emily around the store for a while longer before checking out, handing over Spencer’s credit card, cringing slightly at spending his money again. Well, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to eat the food, you told yourself. As you were both loading your carts back up, you locked eyes with Luke again, him paying four checkouts away. He smiled and gave you a wave, both you and Emily returning it.

As Emily drove you home she chatted to you, surprising you with her words. “You know, you’re not what I expected.”

You frowned slightly, “How so?”

“I don’t mean any offence by it Y/N. Just…. I don’t know Spencer that well and I obviously can’t comment too much because it’s not like I’ve even really seen you together aside from at the funeral but, you’re not who I expected him to be with. Tara teases me sometimes, I read far too many psychology books in high school and she thinks I try to…. what’s that word they use in those dumb ass crime shows?” she thought for a moment before it coming to her. “Profile?…Yes, profile people. She’s the one with all the doctorates, she actually started in psychology before moving to family medicine but she says I see people clearer than she does. I think it’s just because I like watching people and picking up on their interactions. Doing the sort of job I do, I’m often blending onto the background of people’s kitchens when I’m working events. It’s amazing the interactions you see, how people behave when they don’t realise people are watching.”

You were curious but scared to ask her. Still, you took a deep breath and did it anyway. “What do you see when you look at me then?”

She hesitated slightly, chewing her lip before answering. “Someone who isn’t where she’s meant to be.”


Oh how right she was and she didn’t even know it.

“I’ve not offended you have I?” she was suddenly concerned.

“No, not at all. This isn’t where I pictured myself either.”

She didn’t question you and you didn’t elaborate, a silence falling over you both for the last part of the journey home. When you arrived home, she helped you inside with your bags, before making you give her your number.

“I’ll send you some easy to follow recipes. And don’t forget to call the local authority about the trash collection.”

Whilst out she’d told you about the garbage collection dates and extra charges. Given the amount of food you needed to throw out combined with the other things you’d sorted out, she told you to call them in advance and for a small charge they’d take it all away. Otherwise they’d only take what was in the garbage bin and leave the rest. You’d call them Monday you assured her, thanking her again for taking you out.

“It’s not problem. Maybe you and Spencer could come over for dinner one evening soon as well. I really do want to get to know you Y/N. And if you’re ever bored during the day, give me a call. If I’m not at an event then I’m generally just baking at home. Having someone to talk to always makes it more fun.”

You smiled at her sweetly, telling both yourself and her that you would. It would be good for you to have an actual friend here. It had been such a long time since you had one you’d almost forgotten what it was like.

Emily left and you began putting the shopping away, reusing the bags to put the expired food items into. Just as you were finishing up you heard the front door unlock as Spencer returned home. Was it really that time already? Glancing at your phone you saw that it was just after 4pm and you remembered that you needed to get ready for the ‘family’ meal. You carried the bags of expired food through the house and into the dining room where you’d been putting all of the items to throw out, meeting Spencer in the hallway as you were done, him looking you up and down.

“Before you ask why I’m not ready, we’ve not long got home. I was busy all morning sorting some things out in the study. I’m just about to go and get ready now.”

Spencer frowned slightly and then uncreased his brow. “Y/N, it’s fine. I can see you’ve been busy. We don’t have to leave until around 6.30pm anyway.”

That gave you plenty of time to have another shower and to make yourself presentable. Remembering the folders you’d bought you spoke again. “Oh, erm… I had an idea if it’s okay with you? I picked up some nice ring binders which I thought we could display your fan mail in, rather than having it kept in boxes? But I do think it perhaps needs sorting out first as there’s a lot of it. And there’s lots of piles of papers in the study that I haven’t the first clue what to do with. The trash collection around here is a Tuesday morning so if you’re not too busy tomorrow do you think you could have look through things then? Emily told me that if I call the local authority and pay an upfront fee they’ll take away extra trash for us.”

Us. That sounded strange on your lips.

“I’m pretty much done at the office now anyway so yes, I’ll sort the study out tomorrow. Thank you for what you’ve done so far, and your idea about displaying letters does sound quite nice.”

It all seemed so formal between you both.

“Oh and Y/N. I picked up something for you today.” Spencer handed you a large black bag, you taking it and being suprised at how heavy it was. When you peered inside you saw a rectangular cardboard box, the words laptop computer standing out.

“I just thought it would be useful for you to have. You can try writing again on it.”

Had he not listened to a word you’d said? Had he not paid attention to you at all?

“Once you’ve got the house sorted, of course. But there’s plenty of online magazines and newspapers that will accept submissions and if they like you, they’ll pay you.” Spencer had hope in his eyes, and an ernest expression on his face, one that you hadn’t seen in a while. He thought he’d done good. You felt an extremely uneasy feeling in your stomach, a feeling you couldn’t quite place. Counting to ten mentally you forced a smile of thanks across your face.

“That’s very kind Spencer, thank you.” The same formal tone that he had. “I’m sure that once I’ve got everything sorted in the house, I’ll be able to think of something to write.”

Even though you hadn’t for years and had no intention of even trying. Part of you told you that it was the thought that counted, that he’d tried to do something nice for you. The other part screamed at you that he wasn’t even listening to you anymore. Did he ever though? Really?

“I’ll take it upstairs with me now, and set it up when I have a moment. Six thirty you said we were leaving?” Spencer nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Ill be ready for then,” you told him before turning and heading upstairs. Once there you opened the closet and stashed the bag in there.

Perhaps, if it came to it, you’d could sell it.

Earlier today, on the evening of March 25th, 2016, for no discernible reason, my icon changed to a picture of this man. I have never seen this man before in my life. A few minutes later my icon was back to normal. I found myself asking these questions; “Where did he come from??” “Where did he go???” and in asking those questions I may have answered one of the oldest questions in the universe. Unlikely tho it may be I believe this man may in fact be Cotton Ey

Stay With Me - Jack Avery

This was requested off of my prompt list by @caitlan2003

3. “Stay with me.”

4. “Walk out that door and we’re through.”

Warnings: angst, fighting, and a little swearing. 

a/n: I am fully aware that Jack would never do anything I write about in this imagine. This is a fictional story. I recommend listening to Camila Cabello “I Have Questions” while reading this.

‘Where is he?’ I ask myself. I shouldn’ t be a question at this point. This has been happening for the past month, every Saturday. 

Jack has been coming home around 4 a.m. My mind has immediately went for the worst. He wasn’t answering his phone. I left him hundreds of texts and many more missed calls. I had called both Daniel and Zach, neither of them could get a hold of him either.

Tonight, I had lost count exactly how many days it had been since I had woke up without Jack next to me or falling asleep without him. I was currently sitting on the couch at about 3:47 a.m. waiting for him. This had been going on for far too long. I had to confront him about it.

About 20 minutes later, Jack came stumbling through the front door. Once he gets into the house and closes the door, he finally realizes that I’m sitting there. “Babe, what the hell are you doing up?” Jack questions.

“I’m up because my so-called boyfriend is out somewhere doing who knows what.” I snap at him.

“Woah babe, there’s no need to get shitty with me.” Jack laughed walking towards me. 

I started to take steps back away from him. “No, where were you, Jack? Where have you been going at night for the past month? Every night I stay up worried sick about you.” 

“I was out with the guys.“ He mutters keeping his head low. 

“The guys huh? So why is it when I call one of them, they never know where you are?” I ask him now getting closer. “This relationship is supposed to have trust, but how can I trust you when you‘re clearly not telling the truth. Jack, I know you mutter when you lie.” I say with tears filling up my eyes.

“I’m not fucking lying to you!“ He yells. “I’m telling the truth. You gotta believe me.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you aren’t cheating on me!” I yell back with a tear slipping down my cheek. I couldn’t bare to speak such words of him doing such a thing but at this point, I had no choice.

Jack stayed silent. “I can’t fucking believe you, Avery. I’m leaving. Apparently, you don’t value this relationship at all.” I spat out. 

“Stay with me.” Jack said desperately gripping my wrist causing me to turn and face him. His shirt smelt of mixed alcohols. “I love you y/n. I do value this relationship. I just made a really stupid mistake.” 

“You should have thought of that before you decided to do all this.This was not a mistake, Jack. You made a choice to do this.” I tugged my arm out of his grip and slid on my shoes. “If you truly loved me, you would have proved that a long time ago. Have a nice life, Jack.” I tossed my purse over my shoulder and grabbed my car keys then opening the door. 

“Walk out that door and we’re through.” Jack threatened. I looked back at him. His face had tears falling down and his eyes were bloodshot.  

“Listen, I love you, Jack. I always have and I always will, but I can’t be in a toxic relationship with you. Call me when you’re ready to start over. For now, I guess we’re over.” And with that, I walked out of the door leaving the love of my life and everything I felt safe with behind, ready to move on to a healthy future. 

I walked out to my car with tears falling down my face like an endless waterfall. They wouldn’t stop. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. He lost someone who truly cared for him. I lost someone who couldn’t see that. Jack was the love of my life and still was. 

I dried my tears using my sleeve soon realizing that I was still wearing Jack’s favorite sweatshirt. I quickly took off the hoodie before memories flooded my mind and started my car. Here I go, starting a new nontoxic and fresh life.

I kinda want to write a part two to this imagine. Comment if I should or not. I hope you guys enjoyed!