where i have laid my affections

10

The Many Faces of Victor Nikiforov - Episode 4

As much as this episode is shown as a journey for Yuuri, it is also very much a journey for Victor as well. We can see him become progressively more comfortable with his surroundings and the people around him as time passes. As always, let’s take a bit of a deeper look into this one as well!


Ahh, savage Victor. We see a lot of him in previous episodes but I’ve held off talking about him until now. In this series, we see various different expressions of anger. Yurio’s explosive anger and Yuuri’s internal anger are shown in contrast to Victor’s which tends to come out more as tight remarks and/or controlled insults (such as comparing Yuuri’s lack of punctuality to waiting on an airline). It’s interesting to note that with the way Victor has been presented to us up until now, this could actually be mistaken as him just having a very snarky personality, but I would argue that it’s more along the lines of how Victor deals with disappointment. Every single time he’s thrown some kind of remark at someone (mostly Yuuri that we’ve seen at this point), it’s after something has been done where the target did not meet Victor’s expectations – things such as being late for practice or being very out of shape after being the one to ask Victor come to Japan to begin with. With that perspective, we can see that Victor isn’t actually a very snarky person at all.

For this second one, I’d actually like to talk about his hair (not his body, though you can enjoy that in this gif too). It’s very, very rare that we see Victor’s entire face exposed like this – even just seeing both eyes isn’t a common occurrence, and in fact, is used for dramatic effect all the time. You could take this to mean a lot but one of the most recognizable meanings is that Victor is being more open, both in seeing around himself as well as others seeing into him. It’s an interesting thing to consider going forward because, combined with camera angles and the expressions we see on him, it’s used as a visual indicator of his mindset all the time.

This third gif may be a flashback to episode 1 but the text narrated over it is key. It explains that Victor both choreographs his own programs and has the music specially composed for them. Basically, what that means is that Victor knows exactly what message his programs are setting out to tell. Therefore, we can deduce that Victor’s lonely Stammi program from episode 1 was created intentionally; he knew that he was skating to a song that shunned the idea of love until discovering a male lover and wanting to run off with them. It was a song of longing and reaching out for another, not just on the meta level where we stand outside the show and talk about what things mean, but in-series as well. And then, Victor sees that exact same program reflected back at him through Yuuri’s viral video… it’s no wonder that was what made the final choice for him to drop his old life and pursue one with Yuuri.

You might not think much of this fourth gif but let’s talk about the scene that it’s in. This is when Victor gives Yuuri advice on how to capture the feeling of love in his programs and his advice is specifically to think of a time when a lover loved him. This piece of advice tells us a lot about Victor’s current perception of love and relationships. He doesn’t say “think of a time when you loved someone” (which would have made more sense to Yuuri since he has loved people before) but instead comes at it from the other side and tells Yuuri to consider when the emotion is directed towards him. For this to be how Victor pulls on the feeling of love means that he’s never truly felt it for another person before. Not romantic love, anyway, which is the topic of this advice. If someone has experienced romantic love for another person before, and truly felt it, I doubt their advice for capturing that feeling would be to “think of how another person loved you”. The short of all that is that through this advice, we can guess that Victor has never truly experienced what it’s like to love another person before. With that knowledge, it gives Victor and Yuuri’s relationship development a whole new angle; that both of them are discovering new ground together.

This fifth gif brings us back to the topic of anger. I mentioned before that Victor’s anger tends to come out in cutting remarks, but what I failed to mention was how well Victor actually controls his anger normally. The expressions of it that we do see are almost always highly controlled. Victor never gets physical, he never yells, he never has any kind of large, uncontrolled outburst of emotion – even when he’s upset, he’s still thinking. We can see it very clearly demonstrated in this scene; even though Victor is mad that Yuuri is running away from all of his attempts to work out the problem, Victor still thinks it through and figures out what the best way to get Yuuri to open up is. He doesn’t throw any kind of tantrum and he doesn’t guilt Yuuri, he just takes him off to a secluded location away from the rink (he does mention much later that getting away from the ice is what helps him process things) to have a calm heart-to-heart and figure out what the issue is/how to solve it.

The beach scene. There’s just so much that can be said about this scene. Let’s just start by looking at it from Victor’s perspective – he begins the conversation by opening up about being lonely and homesick. He isn’t just saying these things as a gateway to get Yuuri to open up; these are things Victor genuinely feels. As he says, he never expected to leave St. Petersburg, and he’s been acutely experiencing the saying “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. Yuuri mentions that Victor meets him where he is but Yuuri excludes mentioning that that goes two ways – Victor has also been met where he is. We see this very clearly in the next portion of the scene, where Victor is asking Yuuri what mask he should wear and Yuuri tells him none; that Victor just needs to be himself and not put on a façade. For Victor, who has always felt the need to put up a different front for everyone he deals with in every aspect of his life, this is a completely novel concept that encompasses a great part of his character development and growing comfort with Yuuri in the following months.

For this seventh gif, let’s talk about stamina. Seeing Victor tired like this brings a couple things to light – via contrast, it shows us that Yuuri truly does have incredible stamina, and through height/stance differences, it positions Victor in a way that show that he is just as human as Yuuri. You might think “but we know this” towards the notion that Victor isn’t actually a skating god (or any kind of god at all), but since the story up until this point has been told from Yuuri’s perspective – and he has though that – it’s leaked into our perception of Victor as well. Try to imagine Victor falling on a jump the way we see all the other skaters do. It’s still hard, isn’t it? Through seeing Victor worn out like this, it brings him down to the same level as the others; that Victor isn’t infallible and that he does have a limit to his skating just as everyone else does. And then Yuuri goes and pops both the figurative and literal bubble that surrounds Victor by poking the crown of his head and bringing him down to earth (or, in this case, ice).

For this eighth gif, let’s talk about how Victor makes it a point to work as a team with his student, rather than acting as an overbearing coach that insists on making all the decisions. Victor never tries to force ideas onto Yuuri, he always asks what Yuuri thinks and accepts if that really doesn’t work for him. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t challenge Yuuri, he takes all of his opinions into considering but also pushes Yuuri outside of his normal comfort zone. A couple examples of this are Victor back-loading Yuuri’s short program’s jumps all into the second half (which wasn’t something Yuuri had ever done before even though he could realistically manage it with his stamina) and insisting that Yuuri pick the music for and choreograph his own free skate. Victor and Yuuri actually work very well as a cohesive unit, as not just one or the other makes all the decisions.

The topic for this second to last one is casual comfort through touch. Victor has learned since Onsen on Ice that Yuuri takes comfort in touch when he’s upset. That they’re comfortable enough to reach out and do this now shows off both their closeness as well as their familiarity with each other’s cues. Victor was able to sense without Yuuri telling him that he was upset and reached out to comfort him on his own. Victor is learning to read Yuuri without the use of words and Yuuri is learning to accept the comfort that Victor attempts to provide in return. Truly an example of meeting halfway!

For this last one, past the clear beauty that is normal Victor, let’s look at his smile. There is genuine approval and happiness here. That may sound obvious, but what I mean is that Victor is not faking. He’s genuinely proud of Yuuri’s accomplishments even though they aren’t Victor’s own. This serves to destroy any connotations that others make that Victor is in this for purely selfish purposes. He does care whether Yuuri succeeds or not. If he didn’t then I’m sure he would have had a much more lukewarm reaction than this to a moment that they both know the importance of.


Writing short, what’s that? Don’t know them! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed these small meta snippets and you can look forward to episode 5 where we finally get to see Victor existing around competition again (and looking snazzy in a suit)! See you next week!

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

Bonus because I just can’t pass up sharing this beautiful scene:

I have often thought that the sum of who you are as a person and the state your life is in at any given moment is a lot like a long mathematical formula. The numbers in it are the key people and events that have shaped you as a person and the symbols represent how they affected you. Sometimes they will add to you and sometimes they will take away from you… Sometimes they divide you and other times they will multiply your happiness greatly… And so, the answer at the end of all that is the person you are and the value your life holds to you as of that moment… And just like in mathematics, that end result is the sum of all that came before it; all those people and events and the various ways they affected your life up until that point. If you were to look back and imagine changing any one of them – or even removing them from the equation altogether – you can see exactly how the remaining factors would have affected you and know just how different you would have been in the end…
When I look at my life and its events laid out in order, I not only see the overwhelmingly positive affect that meeting you had on me as a person – I also notice something else… something quite profound.
There was a point not long after you came into my life where I had a lot taken from me. It was a great loss and it reduced me to one of the lowest points in my life… And when I look back on it and I remove you from the equation; if I look at the value my life would have held at that point… I see that without you – it would have been nothing…
And I guess what I’m trying to say in a very roundabout way is….
I think you saved my life.
Sleepy love (Grayson)

request: (anon) Could you maybe do an imagine where the reader and Grayson are on the couch cuddling and stuff and it leads to a make out session but you kinda fall asleep as you were really tired and Grayson thinks it’s really cute and funny and puts you to bed. Sorry if that sounds cheesy but I think it would be really cute. Xxx

a/n: this is sooooo cute and I loved it aw p.s. I wrote this on my lunch break at work and I fucking hate work xx

masterlist
request

word count: 357 (pretty damn short I know but I didn’t really know how to drag it out anymore sorryyyyyy xx)


Originally posted by pleasingpics

I walked into Grayson’s room and flopped face first onto his bed, groaning as I fell. I heard him laugh.

“But tired babe?” He asked me with a smile as he sat down on the bed and played with my hair.

“I don’t think I have ever been so tired in my life.” I replied, he laughed and scooped me up in his arms carrying me out to the sofa.

“You lay here, I’m going to take care of my baby.” He insisted. I smiled brightly at him.

“God you’re so cute.” I admired as he walked off into the kitchen.

“Hey where are you going?” I asked him, desperate for some cuddles and affection.

“You’ll see, don’t fall asleep just yet.” He answered. He came back 5 minutes later, hot chocolate in hand.

“Awwwww.” I cooed at him. He smiled sheepishly and sat down next to he. He lifted up my head and laid it in his lap. I stared up at him, he was so beautiful. I sat up every so often to have a sip of my drink and other than that I floated in and out of consciousness as we watched some Netflix.

“I love you.” I said quietly as I stared at him. He immediately smiled.

“I love you more princess.” He lent down and started to kiss me. It was slow and passionate, the kind of kiss you melt into. We stayed like that for a while, just so in love and so happy to be with each other. It was so relaxing that I found myself dozing off. Grayson pulled away from the kiss and I could hear him giggling as I shut my eyes. He lifted my head off his lap, stood up and carried me again back to his bedroom. I was half awake, half asleep. He got me under the blankets and snuggled up behind me groping my boob with one hand and kissing the back of my neck. As much as I wanted to just wake up and fuck the life out of him I knew I wouldn’t manage.

I just laid there and embraced it.

South side bars

There’s this old lowlifes bar on the corner of the south side. The bricks are worn out and the drinks aren’t so good, but it’s voted the best shittiest bar on the south side and that’s something.

That’s where Ian was now, he’d grew up around here and was more than used to overage men hitting and groping on him, that didn’t mean he was okay with it though. He was okay with how much he got payed off of them, but he always felt weird doing it. Not that he does anymore, not now that him and Mickey are a real couple.

He was standing in the corner, drink in hand and swaying slowly to the old song playing on the jukebox when a man in his fifties came over to him.

“Well aren’t you sweet?” The man asked, Ian just rolled his eyes and replied with a quick “I’m not interested” hoping it would get his point across.

The man pulled what looked like at least a hundred dollars out of his pocket and asked “you sure? There’s more where this came from”

“I’m sure” Ian said again, trying to move away from the man slightly.

“Everything okay here Ian?” Kev asked.

Ian just nodded in assurance but Kev wasn’t at all convinced so he went to the back room to call Mickey, knowing that if anything happened to Mickey Milkovich’s boyfriend in his bar, he’d probably die.


“Hey Mickey. There’s some old man at the bar trying to hit on Ian and he looks pretty uncomfortab-” Kev said but before he finished his sentence the phone call had already ended.

“Come on, just a little taste” The man said while trying to push himself onto Ian.

“I said no, fuck off” Ian said, louder now than he was being before.

The man had cornered Ian now and was trying to get into his pants.

“Come on.. five minutes for five hundred” The man said. Ian pushed him, quite hard but the man just laughed as he fell back and caught himself on a table top.

“I like them feisty”

“Get outta here man” Ian threatened but the man did nothing but smirk and move closer.

“You have to the count of three to get the fuck off him, leave that money on the table and scoot” Mickey threatened from behind the man, who had turned around, face already falling at the sight of being threatened by a Milkovich.

“1…2.. That’s it” Mickey said, anger evident in his voice. Ian just chuckled a little at the fact that this artefact actually thought he could fight Mickey.

Mick grabbed his shoulder roughly, turning the pervert around and kneeing him in the balls. He then took the man’s position as an opportunity to elbow him in the face and swing a few punches. By this point there was a lot of blood and Ian was sure he saw a tooth or two fall out.

“You ever touch him again and I’ll kill you, and you’re fucking family. You hear me?” Mickey shouted and the man could only nod.

“Good, now get the fuck outta here”

The man stumbled out of the door, leaving the money behind on his way out. He was running surprisingly fast for just being beaten. Probably trying to avoid it happening again.

“How’d you even know where I was?” Ian asked curiously.

“Kev called. Next time you call me” Mickey ordered and Ian chuckled and kissed his cheek.

The two headed back to the Gallagher’s house with a bottle of beer each and landed on the couch.

“Thanks Mick” Ian said out of the blue.

“For what?” Mickey asked in a confused tone.

“For having my back man. More than I can say about anyone else” Ian thanked him.

“If I don’t have your back I don’t get laid” Mickey laughed but his eyes were soft and Ian knew that insults were his way of showing affection so he laughed too.

Mickey laid a simple but meaningful kiss onto the top of Ian’s head and jumped back in shock when the door to the Gallagher’s house swung open.

Fucking Frank.

Ian shot up in realisation of who was here and quickly headed towards Frank to remove him from the house.

“Come on Frank. Fuck off.” Ian said in annoyance, sick of having to tell him the same damn thing every day.

“Now is that any way to talk to your gracious father? Where’s Liam?” Frank asked, he smelled like booze and weed and his hair was greasy. Nothing new.

“He’s not here. Piss off” Ian said again.

Frank sighed and pushed past Ian, walking towards the kitchen, presumably for some beer.

Ian grabbed the pepper spray off of the counter and held it up to Frank.

“1…2…” Ian started but Frank just stayed put, looking at him menacingly almost daring him to, Ian was more than okay with accepting this dare.

All of a sudden Mickey was at Ian’s side and glaring at Frank.

“Look, how about you too get on with your gay business and I’ll go get Liam? Everyone’s a winner” Frank questioned, trying to talk his way out of this.

Mickey laughed a little before lunging at Frank hitting him directly in the face. Frank let out a chain of “fucks” but Mickey didn’t stop at one punch. The left side of Frank’s face was covered completely in blood and he was lying on the floor crunched up.

“If I see you back here you’re fucking dead” Mickey warned before punching him one last time and throwing him outside.

“I’m starting to get migraines every time I see the bastard.” Ian chuckled and pulled Mickey into him, pupils dilating and the corners of his mouth pulling up into a smirk.

“Well since you’re covered in even more blood I guess we’re gonna have to water you down..” Ian smugly Implied earning a knowing smirk from Mickey as he let Ian pull him up the stairs and to the bathroom.

Ian shoved Mickey in and closed the door behind them, he started ripping the clothing off of his boyfriend while trying desperately to remove his own.

Mickey’s hand wandered down to Ian’s waist pulling him in closer then began palming him through his boxers.

Soon enough the boxers were gone too.

Mickey’s mouth was settled around Ian’s dick and he was sucking and licking lustily. The blood on his face was probably somewhere else now too but neither of them seemed to care, being all too familiar with blood and sex.

Mickey ran his tongue up the entirety of Ian’s length then took it all in his mouth, chocking slightly but still loving every moment of it.

Ian turned Mickey around now, his cock being more than hard enough to go all the way.

Ian turned the water on and moved the dial so it was room temperature instead of scolding and stepped into the shower pulling Mickey in with him.

Their waists were clashing and they were pressed tightly against each other, tongues roaming each other’s mouths dangerously.

Ian turned Mickey around and grabbed a rubber from near the sink, ripping it open with his teeth and quickly rolling it down his length. The water from the shower faucet was enough of a lubricant and they’d done it far to many times for Mickey to need fingers so he positioned himself and entered Mickey.

A sudden rush flew through them both and Ian through his head back in pleasure.

“Fuck Mick.” Ian moaned and Mickey could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Ian started thrusting into Mickey in a slower rhythm than usual but still fast nonetheless.

“Right there” Mickey stuttered out, head to clouded with pleasure to be able to form sentences properly.

Ian knew what Mick wanted and picked up the pace, thrusting harder, pounding into his south side boyfriend with his hands interlocked with Mickey’s and both of their hands resting on the wall of the shower.

Ian loved this feeling more than any high. It was his ultimate high. The way he felt when it was him and Mick and nobody else. The way it felt when he was inside of his boyfriend and closer to insanity. Mick loved it too, he’d never show this side of him to anyone other than Ian.

Mickey moaned incoherent words and Ian growled in anticipation. He thrusted a couple more times then came inside of Mick which sent Mickey over the edge causing him to come a second later.

Ian fell onto Mickey, who kept the weight of them both as he held onto the shower pole.

They were both sufficiently clean so they decided to leave the shower and spend the night in Ian’s bed.

Ian was already dressed in some clean underwear and lying in bed when Mickey joined him in some boxers he borrowed from Ian.

Mickey leaned over and placed a soft kiss onto Ian’s head, lifting the covers up a little higher to make sure Ian didn’t get cold during the night and wrapped an arm under Ian’s neck and another one over his waist protectively.

“G'night Mick. I love you” Ian said with no hesitation, he meant it. The only person he’s ever truly loved.

“Love you too Gallagher.”

Limerence - Chapter X

Limerence Masterlist

Characters: Sehun and OC (Ursula)

Warnings: This series contains mentions of assault, sexual violence, and stalking.

Word Count: 3.6k

Limerence:  The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings.

“Sehun? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I pulled my phone away from my ear to see that he had called me eight times before I answered him. I turned over in my bed to read my alarm clock— 2:04 a.m. There was a moment of silence before he wept.

“U-Ursula,” Another weep, “I n-need you.”

“Sehun, where are you?” I had already slipped on a pair of shoes and started heading downstairs at this point.

“I-I’m,” Before he could finish, I heard a cry from outside. I unlocked the door and opened it to see Sehun laying on the steps of my porch.

Keep reading

Surgery

“Harrison, look: the bed goes all the way up so it’s like a chair.”

“Fascinating.” Harrison rubbed his hands together nervously. It had been a month since they found the tumor on his kidney. Getting it removed was an easy decision, but now that he was laying in bed getting ready to be put under, he wasn’t so sure.

“Check it out - the remote for the TV is built right in!”

“Carrie…“ he moaned his wife’s name. “Shut the fuck up. It says ‘quiet: this is a hospital and patients are trying to rest before surgery’.”

Carrie frowned skeptically. “Where does it say that?”

“On the wall.” He gestured limply to the blank wall to their right.

“It doesn’t say anything.”

“Well it should,” he groaned and buried his face in his pillow. “I love you, sweetheart, but if you don’t stop talking I’ll tell them you’re an obsessive fan and have you thrown out.”

Carrie smirked. She’d been trying to distract him: big, macho Harrison Devil-May-Care Ford was secretly nervous. She could tell. “Fine. I’ll be quiet,” she whispered, running his fingers through his hair. “But you’re gonna miss this dulcet voice.” She ran her hand through his dark hair soothingly, and he reached over to take her other hand in his. They sat there for a moment until a man in scrubs walked in, looking at a clip board.

"Mr. Ford? Hi, I’m Daniel and I’m gonna be taking care of you today.”

Carrie looked at her husband. Harrison braced himself for a biting remark, but instead she just smiled down at him lovingly. “Ready, darling?”

He nodded and kissed her hand. “Sure am. Ok, Daniel, cut me open.”

“Yes sir!” Daniel took the brakes off Harrison’s bed and started to wheel him out of the room.

Carrie suddenly felt her stomach drop. They were taking him. Her mouth felt dry; “I love you,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ll see you when you wake up.” She kissed his forehead and he winked at her.

“Stay beautiful, sweetheart. I’ll see you on the other side.”


“Harrison?” He blinked and felt someone’s hand squeeze his. “Wake up, sleeping beauty.” He groaned and fully opened his eyes.

“Carrie Fucking Fisher.”

She smiled. “Hi, my love. You’re all done.”

“Done…” he muttered.

“All done. You’re minus one kidney now.” She cupped his face in her hands.

“Cuddle with me.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to pull her into the bed.

“Harrison…”

“Please? You’re so pretty, Carrie. And your hands are so soft.” He had a puppy look on his face that made her smile.

“Fine. But if a nurse comes in…”

“No nurse. Just you.”


“We’re home, this is where we live.”

“Really?”

“Yes my love.” Carrie kissed her husband’s cheek and walked him slowly down the hall to their bedroom.

“My God, Carrie,” he groaned as Carrie helped him lie down. “Carrie… I would have loved to have married you.”

Carrie had to resist the urge to burst out laughing. Since they’d left the hospital, Harrison had been on powerful painkillers. They affected him more than she’d ever seen anything affect him before, and he’d been proposing to her the entire car ride home. “Well you’re gonna be really happy when you snap out of this.”

“Mmmmm.” He laid his head back and closed his eyes. “You must have gorgeous babies.”

She giggled and reached for a picture frame on their bedside table. “I do. This is them with my mom.”

He took the frame eagerly, but his eyes settled on Debbie. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “Your mom is Debbie Reynolds.”

“Tragically yes.” Carrie lay down next to him. “Those are our girls. The one on the left is Emma and the one on the right is Billie. This is from when we took them to Disneyland.”

“They’re adorable. Are they yours?”

“They’re ours,” she said, pressing a kiss to his temple.

He closed his eyes. “God damn.”

Carrie laughed and took his hand. “That’s about right.” Her smile widened as he nuzzled into her shoulder. “Look,” she whispered as she slipped her wedding and engagement rings off her finger.

“That is a massive diamond.”

“Thank you George Lucas.” She placed the ring in his palm. “Can you read what it says?”

He brought the ring right up to his eye and squinted. “No. I can’t read.”

She laughed and took the ring back. “It says ‘Carrison’.”

His face broke out into a smile. “That’s us.” He yawned.

“You need to rest my love,” she said, rubbing his chest soothingly. “Close your eyes.”

“The meds make me sleepy,” he groaned.

“I know darling.” She kissed his forehead. “Close your eyes; don’t fight it. I love you.”

“Mmmm I love you more.”

2

heyreallygiger:

if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious

[X]

2

Extremely minor and likely uninteresting update. I have been cutting up my code into scripts and restructuring the way the game is laid out to make it easier to implement new things in the future. It also will make it easier to tweak minor and major sections without adversely affecting the rest of the code base. I am not a programmer so I apologize for the probably ugly and seemingly unnecessary commentary lines and spacing but I wanted to make it absolutely clear to myself where a section ended or started. This is especially important for me since each of these sections are going to be another 3+ cases deep.

On the bright side I will be finished in the next few days and can get back to making content progress posts that might be more interesting! I have a couple of new game systems I want to implement and show and this code refactor will make that an easier process. Thank you for being patient with me!

anonymous asked:

To the Horsemen, Samael, Azrael, Watcher, Lilith, and anyone else: How did you treat your s/o for the first several days/weeks/months and now that you've admitted your feelings, do you have any regrets about how you acted around them initially? Anything you wish you could change or something you promise never to do again?

Way, this is my 666th post, so Samael goes first :) xoxo

Samael: I was callous. I recall constantly reminding them of their unimportance in the grand scheme of things. They believed that they must have survived for a reason, and I told them ‘No. You were a mere accident...’ Now I confess I often wonder if they survived for my benefit. I was a fool….Where would I be now if what I said held an inkling of truth? 

Lilith: Of course, humans are a…..rarity for me, you understand. I was enthralled why I first laid eyes on Y/n, but then….they just weren’t affected. I wasn’t sure what it could have been. Human will is notoriously weak, or so I thought. I was resentful of how easily they resisted my power. So imagine my surprise when I discovered it was because they actually wanted me, without my influence. When they admitted their feelings for me I was overwhelmed and utterly confused. I’d have never tried to turn them into my own personal pet had I known then what I know now. 

The Watcher: Oh, well where do I begin. I was scathing, harsh, rude and quick to put them down. I grimace whenever I remember how I would express gladness that humanity had been eradicated, right in front of Y/n. I would never had guessed that a human, the very creature I was most disdainful of, could become so important to me. 

Azrael: I have very few regrets regarding Y/n. From the moment we met, I was enchanted and I still am. We were fast friends and I would not change a thing. 

Death: I could have so easily been less cruel. But I was worried about War, and this human I saw as little more than a distraction. It was my own fault, I did save them from Earth…but even for the first few days I didn’t regret that rescue. I do regret, however, just how little I cared about their plight. I was so focused on finding War, I forgot that they’d just lost their entire species as well. I should have realised that. I swear to never blame them for any setbacks either, not anymore. 

War: Y/n was an inconvenience. They slowed me down and I was frustrated with their constant need to stop and rest. But I was a stubborn fool. Looking back, I did appreciate their sincerity. They so wanted to help me. I regret how hard I pushed them, almost to the point of collapse…..There is…no honour in the way I treated Y/n, I would go back and tell myself to allow them rest, I still managed to defeat the Destroyer. There was no need for my brusqueness.

Strife: Okay, I’ll admit. Maybe I was a little hard on the kid. Used to tell em’ to get over it every time they started cryin’ about their lost family and friends. Their lost home….I guess I didn’t get is cause’ I ain’t exactly a family man. And friends are few and far between for me…….I wish I held Y/n. I wish I’d done something to stop em’ from cryin’. At night, when they had those god awful nightmares I just laid there and listened. 

Fury: Perhaps I could have treated them less like a child and more like a capable adult. I didn’t trust them particularly to be of much use in a fight, so I forced them to remain hidden. I was trying to keep them safe, but I came across as though I thought them useless, naive and ignorant. Knowing what I know now, I should have seen the unparalleled capability inside Y/n. I should never have acted so damn superior. 

I have often thought that the sum of who you are as a person and the state your life is in at any given moment is a lot like a long mathematical formula. The numbers in it are the key people and events that have shaped you as a person and the symbols represent how they affected you.  Sometimes they will add to you and sometimes they will take away from you… Sometimes they divide you and other times they will multiply your happiness greatly… And so, the answer at the end of all that is the person you are and the value your life holds to you as of that moment… And just like in mathematics, that end result is the sum of all that came before it; all those people and events and the various ways they affected your life up until that point. If you were to look back and imagine changing any one of them – or even removing them from the equation altogether – you can see exactly how the remaining factors would have affected you and know just how different you would have been in the end…
When I look at my life and its events laid out in order, I not only see the overwhelmingly positive affect that meeting you had on me as a person – I also notice something else… something quite profound. There was a point not long after you came into my life where I had a lot taken from me. It was a great loss and it reduced me to one of the lowest points in my life… And when I look back on it and I remove you from the equation; if I look at the value my life would have held at that point… I see that without you - it would have been nothing…
And I guess what I’m trying to say in a very roundabout way is….
I think you saved my life.

imagine enjolras and grantaire at junior prom.  imagine they’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks and haven’t kissed yet, and everything’s still kind-of new and awkward (especially since neither of them have really had a relationship before.)

imagine they go outside for some fresh air and grantaire looks at the ground, and looks at enjolras, and says, “so, um, there’s something I’d really like to do with you.”

and enjolras doesn’t say anything, so grantaire continues, “could you maybe, um, help me out a little here?  so it isn’t really awkward?”

enjolras nods, cautiously.

“do you know what I’m talking about?” grantaire asks, his face flushing bright red.  "what … um … what I think we should do?“

and enjolras’ whole face lights up, and he says, "of course!  we should start a revolution!  if we go back inside and start explaining the true potential of the rule of the proletarian, maybe we can convert everyone and –”

(he keeps ranting, and grantaire just stares at him, like, this is it, this is where I have laid my affections.)

3

Louis: Must you always attack me with words?

Lestat: Do you want me to use rocks?

[X]

Get Rid of the Light: Kylo Ren Imagine

Loving Kylo Ren wasn’t easy, love wasn’t easy. It was like an unspoken agreement. I loved him more then anything but he never returned it. His way of affection was different. There was no PDA, no I love you’s or anything in the sorts of normality.

But we had something. The connection that drew him to me. He tried to fight it but once he gave in to his human nature he couldn’t just let me go.

I hardly saw him, he always seemed so busy. Waking up and going back to bed where my favorite times. The times I had with Kylo. The times where I can see the light in him even if he didn’t want to see it.

He hated me for seeing the light in everything. I tried not to mention things about the light or the good in him because it would only upset him.

The cold air was refreshing as the sun rays slowly crept into the dark bedroom. The curtains only held back so much light. Kylo’s arms were locked around me as his face was nuzzled in my neck. I smiled as I turned in his arms trying not to wake him. He stirred a bit before locking his arms back around me as I faced him. 

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